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I Am Bipolar Type Two

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 289 People

    This Week...

    This week, I am full of hopeful emotion. I feel so fantastic that it is scary. Scary, because I know that soon this feeling will crash and burn, and along with it, those feelings of overwhelming sadness and depression will return. Yes, I do despise this disorder.
    massivesoulache massivesoulache 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    I was diagnosed when I was 17

    after flipping out on my foster mom. I have been on every medication under the sun, have not yet found the right one almost 12 years later. Even after countless hospital visits and psychiatrists. Last year I had one doctor question the diagnosis and was hopeful, but was just re...
    CreatingChristi CreatingChristi 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    I have a secret. I'm Bipolar Type II.

    I hide my illness as well as I can for the fear of being stigmatized by society. The word bipolar is so popular in pop-culture now that it's very common to hear someone being called bipolar if they have mood swings, or if they are two faced and act like two different people. It...
    Enaud21 Enaud21 31-35, M May 22, 2014

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    My Journey....

    At 20, after I had my first child, I knew something was wrong. I felt depressed ALL the time and i was tired of putting on my happy mask. The first psychiatrist I talked to told me I had "situational depression" and that if I changed my situation I'd feel better. (sometimes I...
    Firefitersgirl Firefitersgirl 31-35, F 1 Response May 29, 2012

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    Now I Have a Better Life

    For years I thought I had simple depression.  I was unable to recognize my destructive behavior when I was in a manic state.  Of course when I came out of it I became more depressed.  It took nearly 20 years to get the proper treatment.  Though I dislike how...
    wheniwasntlooking wheniwasntlooking 36-40 4 Responses Aug 11, 2008

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    I have been on meds for 18 years.

    Was diagnosed with depression at age 16 then at 20 diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have been on practically everything. Some do nothing. Some work for a while then just stop. I've been doing this constant trial and error with different combinations for 18 years now. Almost...
    jks1981 jks1981 31-35, F Jul 13

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    I am grateful to finally have a diagnosis,

    a name for this cloud, this previously unnamed shadow that haunted me. I was eleven when I started having panic attacks and thirteen the first time I recal slipping into a deep depression. I can look back and so clearly see the ups and downs of hypomania, especially after the...
    cherk03 cherk03 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 4

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    Last night and this morning I thought about

    dying. I wanted to die. Nothing seemed worth it, worth living for. I don't want to meet someone new I don't want romance I don't want to hide my queer **** I don't want to be judged I don't want to be disowned I don't even want to drink I don't even want drugs Nothing works...
    NotApplicable NotApplicable 22-25, F Dec 30, 2014

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    Was I Born This Way?

    I started going to a psychiatrist at age 10, but it was after a lot of trauma. I sometimes wonder if it was hereditary, because my family has a long line of people with "problems" , or if its from the abuse.. like my PTSD, or if I was just born this way, and even if I had a...
    KindaSilly KindaSilly 36-40, F 5 Responses Sep 7, 2013

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    Hello hypomania! It's nice to see you again.

    How long will you stay this time? How heartbroken will your departure leave me?
    ThistleAndWeeds ThistleAndWeeds 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 18

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    20 Years!

    I was recently diagnosed as bipolar after 20 years of being misdiagnosed. 20 years of bad relationships, destructive behavior & severe depression is a long time. I wish I had known I was bipolar long ago. I feel my disease has affected so many lives especially my children.
    gatorgirl013 gatorgirl013 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 4, 2013

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    Im Bi Polar 2

    got told that years ago and then nothing happened no treatment nothing then in 2009 i ended up on a mental ward for five days after promising to bash someones head in...no one in paticular just the closest person...it was in my old shinks office and i was swinging a cane can you...
    jimtrish74 jimtrish74 51-55 May 15, 2012

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    Mother May I, Poem.

    Excuse me Mother, May i talk to you? No my dear, You've done enough talking for two. Im sick of your excuses, All the blame on your mental illness, Hurry up and get over this. Everyday with you is another problem, Highs and lows.. Sit the F.ck down and slow down. You're...
    missrng missrng 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Mar 27

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    My Black Dog.

    I clearly remember the very first time my black dog, to use a Churchillian phrase, made its first appearance. I was twenty; my father had been killed in an industrial accident 18 months earlier and my Mum left England for a six week holiday with her brother in Sydney,Australia...
    Percy157 Percy157 56-60 Jul 14, 2013

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    Turns Out I Didn't Know My Mental Health At All.

    When you spend your whole life believing you are suffering from depression, finding out it may be something different is tough. Since a very young age, I was aware that I couldn't seem to cope with the world the way everyone else could. People around me seemed happy. Content. I...
    Sarcic93 Sarcic93 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2013

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    It is debilitating much of the time.

    Bring afraid to even get out of bed in the mornings. When I stepped inside here I wasn't expecting to find (numerous) people "like me"
    dbushy dbushy 41-45, M Apr 1, 2014

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    The dark is there but the light is creeping in

    and I don't exactly welcome it. When it gets bad its just a prison in my mind. It is scary, familiar, and draining. Then things shift slowly and the noise in my head gets less noisy. I'm there sort of. Maybe more like I have things I have to do to live. Problem is I don't want...
    searchingfar searchingfar 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 10, 2014

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    Don't know how I'll wake up tomorrow

    or the next day. Attract a normal man by dressing like a normal? You know how much effort it takes to look normal? A lot. Jeez and all it takes for a normal guy to drop me is one bad day. He just needs to catch me on a bad day and that's it he'll leave. He will find a normal...
    NotApplicable NotApplicable 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 5, 2014

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    And this is my subset illness

    as I call it. My Borderline Disorder is by far the biggest cause of turmoil in my life. However. The depressive states of Bipolar still come and go and I'm in a doozy of a dump right now. I know that everything in my life is relatively stable and nothing is truly wrong. Yet...
    DanicaER DanicaER 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 22

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    Sometimes I feel like I am living with someone

    else in my mind. At times who I am seems foreign..I just don't understand though I do try. I can wake up and feel all the excitement of the world and then another day feel the sorrow and pain of the whole world. I can tell when things are shifting and I feel helpless. My mood...
    searchingfar searchingfar 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 14

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    The First Time I Am Able To Live Life

    I've been depresssed every since i was 14 years old. i had to endure physically and mentally abuse. No matter what i did it felt like i was in hell. i just recently started taking an antidepressant (celexa 40mg) and a mood disorder pill called seroquel 200mg. Antidepressants don...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 11 Responses Jul 13, 2012

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    I Am Undermedicated.

    I'm at the mercy of the Arizona Long Term Care medical system and am currently suffering from under-medication because unfortunately, I  over-medicated in the past. I am in recovery now, (1 year), and proud of it. Now, however, due to the fact that I am protecting the caregiver...
    cynsroom cynsroom 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 13, 2013

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    Why Can't I Just Stay Manic?

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder afte a nervous breakdown in my thirties. It seems I fell in love during a manic episode that lasted a loooong time. Then the mania turned dark again and I wanted to roll myself up so tight until I disappeared. I would curl up in the furthest...
    bipolalone bipolalone 41-45, F 6 Responses Jul 22, 2012

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    Lost

    Fighting your own mind is a battle everyday. I never know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow and it's tragic . I am struggling immensely. Mentally and physically. I can't cope. I'm drained. Sometimes I'm so happy and other times I can't stand to be in my own skin another minute. I hate...
    inkedmommy inkedmommy 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 20, 2013

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    I was recently diagnosed in early May

    when I was admitted into a horrible psychiatric hospital after my parents found my suicide note. Upon staying for a week, my doctor had diagnosed me with Bipolar II, which made a lot of sense since I have extreme mood swings and depressive episodes. I knew I was depressed, sure...
    Demifaun Demifaun 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    Looking For Someone Who Understands

    Hey, everyone,I'm on a search for people who understand what it's like to be bipolar and who I can talk to. I find it difficult, even among people who have the disorder, to find someone who doesn't equate the diagnosis to "Totally Nutty and Possible Axe Murderer."Is there anyone...
    OhDaddyMmm OhDaddyMmm 36-40, M 7 Responses Feb 20, 2013

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    Hey everyone. I'm 26

    and was diagnosed with BPD 2 just 2 years ago. I battle it everyday but I have found many ways to cope. First and foremost for all of you out there buy the book "mind over matter." It will help you keep your thoughts in check and see things rationally. With the methods this book...
    AliB87 AliB87 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 19, 2014

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    Mother May I

    So today I was super hypomanic. Elevated rage and energy through the roof. It was all used in non efficient ways..but nevertheless it was what it was. Then I crashed...around 6 I became sluggish and exhausted. All I wanted was sleep , beig that my kids dont go to bed that early...
    missrng missrng 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 19, 2013

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    Long Road to a Correct Diagnosis

    i've been diagnosed bipolar my whole life and as an adolecent, i was on meds from age 5 to 18. i was highly over medicated for most of my childhood and i spent 5 years of it incarserated within the juvenile system including both jails and treatment facilities. i have had many...
    lifeispoetry lifeispoetry 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 11, 2008

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    Possibly bipolar II (latest doc's theory),

    then add some ADHD and anxiety, and the result is much like the quote above. Feeling much more stable this week, but I live with a constant dread of sinking back down there.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2014

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    Recently Diagnosed

    I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar and it was quite a hit.  I have been self medicating for years now without realizing what the ailment was.  Drank my liver to hell and had to quite drinking, whoops, found the actual problem!    The pills aren't working...
    bipolarwreck bipolarwreck 26-30 8 Responses Aug 11, 2008

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    I am currently frustrated.

    I asked my mother if she has ever met anybody who was full blown Bipolar and she said people in her generation don't go around broadcasting it. I said "well you were my age once" and i said i had only met one person, who is actually my friend. Then she went on this rant about...
    missrng missrng 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 10, 2013

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    I Have BPD II

    I was always emotional as a child, prone to extreme fits of rage and depression. I attempted suicide in 8th grade. It wasn't until I was 21 yrs old and in the hospital that I was diagnosed with Bipolar II. 5 years later the way I view myself has changed, I question everything I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 19, 2013

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    I haven't been on here

    for so long, I used to be here everyday every moment almost. I had nothing, I had broken into so many pieces that I had nothing left to break. I had no hope and it had been so long since I saw any light that I had forgotten what it was like.. I had lost me, my smile never...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Feb 6

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    I am 30 years old, and I was just diagnosed in

    November. It has been frustrating, illuminating, wonderful, terrifying, and everything in between. Looking back at my life, so much makes sense now. I am coming to terms with the fact that this disorder has cost me a lot in the past that I can never reclaim, and I am...
    Teasaidh Teasaidh 26-30, F Apr 30, 2014

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    ive been misdiagnosed

    as major depressive disorder at first but then got a second opinion and they diagnosed as bipolar 2. i know that it fits me more. i have racing thoughts most days and it sucks i have hypersexuality and that makes relationships hard for me. im always looking for a high in life...
    gotguts gotguts 22-25, F Jan 10, 2014

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    I've been diagnosed Bipolar just recently.

    7 years ago, i have had episodes of seizure. Which are often treated with valium, i have always been short tempered and moody, i thought it was all normal. Until recently i became depressed, at first it would be once every month,i thought my hormones is causing it. The...
    tillyling tillyling 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2013

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    Is Bipolar Disorder Genetic?

    I am worried about my son. He is showing the same symptoms that I have. He is only 4, and I'm not sure what to do. I want his life to be better, he is an emotional roller coaster with a violent side. I feel like his life is passing him by because he spends so much time unhappy...
    bipolalone bipolalone 41-45, F 9 Responses Jul 26, 2012

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    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Mar 6

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    Depression That Wouldn't Go Away

    I was diagnosed with Bipolar type II after the birth of my 2nd daughter. I had postpartum depression and was trialed on every antidepressant out there and none worked. We even tried Abilify, Seroquel, and lithium. Eventually, the only thing that worked was a Paxil...
    borderlinemama borderlinemama 31-35 2 Responses Nov 11, 2008

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    I was diagnosed bipolar II back in 2010

    or 11. It was a shock at the time. I was studying in one of my country's top universities, and I flunked it because I wouldn't go to class for some reason. I transferred, took my meds (which did nothing except turn me into an automaton), transferred again, stayed put in my third...
    fullofdharma fullofdharma 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 7, 2014

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    People Just Dont Get You

    Sometimes, even on your meds, you can feel alone and deeply removed from people. There are times when you just a ******* bad day and no one gets it, there are times when you just dont want ppl around or to talk to people, but sometimes, a hug would be nice
    craving4touch craving4touch 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 14, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Type B Personality who's a Type B personality here? *those who look at the big picture vs the short term goal ahead? *the chill people who go off the dome *those who don't plan...
    converse6 converse6 31-35, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    I do have bipolar, so if anyone needs to talk, feel free to message me!
    ModifiedMamaofTwo ModifiedMamaofTwo 18-21, F 20 hrs ago

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    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I don't believe I have it. I stopped taking medicine for it, a year ago. And let me tell you, I'm better off without the medicine. I am able...