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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,913 People

    Is it just me, or do meds make you a little

    flat? The only emotion I still experience intensely is anxiety... I'm not depressed and I'm not manic... Which is great, but I feel like all my creativity is gone. I uses to feel everything deeply, and now I have no depth.
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    So depressed that I don't

    even know if I want help or not. Hanging in there.
    classAteam classAteam 16-17, F 1 Response 21 hrs ago

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    Things are really starting to irritate me .

    .. I think im in a mixed state.. Im depressed but angry at the same time over nothing really . I guess im mad about something im overwhelming myself with thoughts and plans...
    AnishinaabeTribalBrothers AnishinaabeTribalBrothers 13-15, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 151 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    Stufy Stufy 46-50 1 Response May 26

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    My mood is taking a turn

    for the worst. Down I go, I feel helpless. I know what's coming, and yet I cannot stop it. I clench my teeth, tighten my jaw, shut my mouth. Otherwise I will become a monster. Once again, I forget what it's like to be serene. To turn a cheek to her snide remarks. You whine...
    InexplicablyWrong InexplicablyWrong 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2

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    I'm in a deep depressive stage right now.

    I'm trying to do everything I can to keep myself busy, because I don't need time to think. I don't think good thoughts when I'm this depressed. I'm hiding it from my dad pretty well though.
    classAteam classAteam 16-17, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake 22-25, F 8 Responses Nov 17

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    Bipolar, But Without The Fun

    I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is...
    shygrl85 shygrl85 22-25, F 14 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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    I get very very high

    and then I crash. I hate when I crash.
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 4 Responses Apr 7

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    The Gifts Of Bipolar

    What is the nature of disability? What does the idea mean? It is a statistical concept, I think. Which is to say, it is a measure of comparison. We can only be “disabled” in comparison to a group of others who have more ability on this particular measure. Everyone can be...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 13 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    It's almost like screaming underwater.

    No one can hear my screams and the pain from everything flooding into my lungs is deafening. Nothing helps and it never seems to get better. I just pray for Mania to make her way, so that Depression's deadly grip can subside. The enthusiasm and energy will fade once Mania...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    Manic episode just came to a screeching halt.

    ..WTF do I do?? People are being so distant! More like WTF did I do? I have no self confidence & can't take it much longer! Help!
    IrisRays IrisRays 36-40, F 4 Responses Dec 19

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    Being a Bipolar Student

    I have been officially diagnosed as being Bipolar I for a little over three years. As I have gotten older my symptoms and cycles have continually progressed and become more difficult to control or recognize. Luckily, I have an amazingly supportive family, and I have been...
    themanicmind themanicmind 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 2, 2009

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    heiseyjulia heiseyjulia 22-25 4 Responses Sep 18

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7

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    Short prose about what it's like.

    For me that is. Waxing and waning as the lowest tide swallowed me whole, panicking and aching just to feel normal. The reckless perfectionist cleans up messes of others but destroys herself, Who did I wake up today as? It doesn't matter cause yesteryear I was living as someone...
    SubcultureSellout SubcultureSellout 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 12

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    I'm at a strange place in my life right now.

    I've spent the last 20 years battling bipolar disorder type 1. I know a lot of people are misdiagnosed and bipolar, especially type 2, is a "diagnosis du jour". It's horrible that people get misdiagnosed and take unnecessary medication, or the wrong kind of medication when there...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 11

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    So, I'm currently on day three of my manic

    euphoria and insomnia phase. I suppose it's Infinitely better than being in a manic depression phase. However, the sooner I get to my doctor, the better. She's out for the holiday. Hope everyone is doing lovely! Nothing but smiles here.
    creativeinspiration creativeinspiration 18-21, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I hate feeling annoyed

    and overwhelmed everyone else then just gets mad at me and just assume im cranky or a *****.
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    Wish My Brain Would Shut The Hell Up!

    Yep...i'm bipolar.  Bipolar 1, manic depressive if we want to get clinical.  It royally sucks.  Can't really put a sugar coating on what it is.  I was diagnosed right before I started a 2 year prison sentence.  I'd embezzled mass amounts of money from a company I had worked...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 13 Responses Apr 26, 2011

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    And impulsive. Walked out of my job yesterday

    after a coworker decided she was gonna flip out for no reason. I regret it, I should have thought things out, but, the switch flipped and the yelling and unnecessary responses took place. So ******:/
    Casie3Lynn Casie3Lynn 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 18

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    Aelfwynn Aelfwynn 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 2

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    i havent slept in 55 hours please what do i do

    how do i sleep I've been on highs but ive at least blacked out a bit im still going completely and i havent eaten either the thought of eating makes me sick i really have no clue right now
    JustLittleMeee JustLittleMeee 16-17, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7

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    Despite the highs and lows of today right

    now I seem to be crashing really hard. I don't know what to do when I get this low...I need someone
    baileebae baileebae 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    Hello. Firstly, I'm not bipolar I joined the

    group because I wanted to ask some questions, and I hoped that you could help me figure some things out. First of all, I've been diagnosed with teenage depression, and I also have ADHD. This year I experienced some mood swings that really scared me. Like from being at the top of...
    JoannaLcz JoannaLcz 13-15, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    It's getting harder everyday.

    I don't want to work. I don't want to do anything I'm "supposed" to be doing. The thing is.. I don't know what I would do or go if I had that freedom. I think I would get in my car and just start driving. Im so consumed by so many thoughts.. But I don't know what they are. I'm...
    kimberlyfaith kimberlyfaith 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    Trajef Trajef 41-45, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2010

    and was hospitalized once because of it. i'm feeling a lot better since then cuz I've been on medication. but I still doubt if I really have bipolar or the doctors misdiagnosed the problem. anyway should take all the efforts necessary to improve myself rather than focussing on...
    kk52314 kk52314 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 7

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    I M Bipolar

    Without medication i have racing speech, anxiety attacks, i wont sleep, and have lots of energy. I am taking meds and they are working for me. I go to a support group call DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) . I have friends that understand my mental illness. The...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 8 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    My school wants me to talk at the mental health

    assembly about my story. I am not sure what to talk about. I remember when I first started showing symptoms. When I was 13 I was a competetive swimmer, baseball player, competetive soccer, basketball and I played Major Bantam hockey. I started to become afraid of the water...
    LandonS LandonS 16-17, M 5 Responses Dec 12

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    I am bipolar and it effects my life I can't do

    what other people do when my meds aren't working there is a lot of drama I don't always know what to say or do I am tired of being this way I want to move on with my life so bad but something always holds me back it not right so I am going to try and not let anyone hold me back...
    guinness26 guinness26 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 9

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    Hi im bipolar. Whats your name?

    Instead of Hi im jack. Whats your name? I am a person too. Not stable yet But a person none the less
    ChangingFaces5 ChangingFaces5 22-25 Dec 4

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    Acceptance

    I am a diagnosed BiPolar II. And also dual diagnosis with many other associated types of dissorders, anxiety-panic-border personality-etc.    I was diagnosed at 16 but went off meds at about 18. I am now 31 and only last year have sought help for these issues. Am...
    KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    Suddenly hit by a wave of depression

    so bad I can barely breathe. Going to hide in bed for as long as I can..
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 18

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    Does anyone do things they regret during mixed

    episodes? I think I've been in a mixed episode for the past few weeks and I've committed to some things I now regret.
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 18

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    A poem I wrote about Bipolar,

    which I call simply 'River'. Pain like a river, a tsunami if you will I feel it deep within my veins, god how it makes me feel ill. I cast out tonight, desperate and blind, reeled in some new friends for whose virtual hugs I do pine. Bipolar river, the black and blue sea...
    RealJax0009 RealJax0009 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 30

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15

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    I have a secret. I'm Bipolar Type II.

    I hide my illness as well as I can for the fear of being stigmatized by society. The word bipolar is so popular in pop-culture now that it's very common to hear someone being called bipolar if they have mood swings, or if they are two faced and act like two different people. It...
    Enaud21 Enaud21 31-35, M 3 Responses May 22

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 34 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    I need help... Do you guys think its pathetic

    if a girl was raped at 14 and molested at 7 and has had sex with a guy and everything and has known him for like 5 years and still isnt comftorable with him? Is it really pathetic not being comftorable with him yet? He said it was pathetic and i dont think it is..
    yesiigarciaa yesiigarciaa 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 5

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    I'm really struggling lately.

    I'm type 2 bipolar and I'm finding it really hard to control my feelings. I keep lashing out at my boyfriend over silly things and everybody irritates me lately. Does anyone have any advice to help me control things a little more?
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 12

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