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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,135 People

    Has anyone else become dependent on Benzos?

    I take Ativan... 3mg/day. I recently ran out and didn't realize how difficult it would be to get through the day without it.
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Today is a bad day, I woke up feeling very empty

    and my head was so fuzzy. I have absolutely no energy and can't see the good in anything right now. I have so much work to do and I can't seem to type properly and most of my sentences need to be retyped because they don't make sense. I don't want to be around others but i'm...
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 30

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 151 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    I wasn't feeling like myself this past year.

    ..my world felt like it was falling apart, but at the same time it all made sense. It was the most confusing time of my life to say the least. A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with manic depressive disorder aka bipolar. I'm on meds for it now and they seem to be helping, but my...
    sheviteija sheviteija 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 27

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    I got my diagnosis today.

    Bipolar with psychosis and mixed episodes. I already knew it anyway. But they won't help me. No meds, months until I can see a psychologist. I'm pissed of that because I'm educated they think I'm not in pain. They think I can just deal with it on my own. Well okay then, but I'm...
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 1 Response May 5

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    Aelfwynn Aelfwynn 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 2, 2014

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    I my wife and I went to her therapist

    and she told her she must leave me. She said because I was suicidal I was possibly violent. I am getting rid of my and her therapist because of this. I am also getting rid of my therapist about this too. If anyone knows me I am a kind loving man that would not harm my wife or...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 13

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    Bipolar, But Without The Fun

    I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is...
    shygrl85 shygrl85 22-25, F 14 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 24

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    The doctors and therapist want to hospitalize me

    because I see and speak to spirits. I know they are not harm full so going to churches they tell me there demons. I don't believe this at all. The psychiatrist are the thought police not allowing me to believe what I feel is true. At least these spirits I don't feel alone take...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 10

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    It is humiliating. I am

    so ashamed of my mood swings. It takes away all confidence. One day I'm superwoman then I want to die. How I can I show face? How can I face the world? It's so embarrassing. I think I'd rather just stay depressed all the time then achieve some happiness just to come...
    stufy stufy 46-50 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    stufy stufy 46-50 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    I get very very high

    and then I crash. I hate when I crash.
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    Is it normal to be on 3 different meds?

    The doctor said 1 (amitriptyline) is for sleep and then I'm taking 5mg Abilify and 300mg Valproic acid. I don't like taking medicine. I'm really hoping I won't have to stay on it long term, but everything I read says that for bipolar you have keep taking it. Has anyone ever...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 7 Responses Apr 24

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 34 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    I recently started outpatient therapy in an

    adolescence mental hospital. I left my former therapist for this and was pretty nervous to meet my new therapist. I've already done a bunch of personality tests and intelligence tests but I hadn't had an actual therapy session at this "hospital". So this Thursday me and my mum...
    littlebird88 littlebird88 13-15, F May 1

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    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    I am bipolar 1. This week I have been manic.

    Manic episodes are like a break from reality. But once the depression sets in my world just crumbles. The sky is not blue I see it as black. That is what I love about being bipolar! The high moods are the best part about it. I find with my medication it tappers off in the...
    xdarkangelx666 xdarkangelx666 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    The Gifts Of Bipolar

    What is the nature of disability? What does the idea mean? It is a statistical concept, I think. Which is to say, it is a measure of comparison. We can only be “disabled” in comparison to a group of others who have more ability on this particular measure. Everyone can be...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 13 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    ThatOneNerdGirl ThatOneNerdGirl 16-17, F 2 Responses May 15

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    But not beyond decent.

    Thanks to helpful people. Met hunting decent people. EP Link
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 10

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    People say I'm dangerous.

    This just plain ignorance and stigma. I suffer so much pain why would I inflect pain on others. Pain is seeing people hurt that don't deserve it.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 15

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    I Am Not Bipolar, I Have Bipolar

    I want to start by explaining my story title. If you have Diabetes you are not Diabetes, you have Diabetes. Similarly I am not Bipolar, I have Bipolar. My story starts when I was very young, so I have no idea if I was born with Bipolar, or just developed it later. I can...
    ManiacalTom ManiacalTom 31-35, M Sep 7, 2012

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5

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    I see why I'm really sick,

    I stopped nutritional supplements and the sudden change made me sick. Solution get back to what was really working. All the meds were only working a half day. It just shows psychotropic medication is a ineffective solution.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 16

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    Acceptance

    I am a diagnosed BiPolar II. And also dual diagnosis with many other associated types of dissorders, anxiety-panic-border personality-etc.    I was diagnosed at 16 but went off meds at about 18. I am now 31 and only last year have sought help for these issues. Am...
    KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    The trouble everybody knows

    or thinks Im crazy and wants to lock me up. Things are going so good today. I know anywhere I go I will not be understood for being anything more than mad. It is so lonely when Im feel this way.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 10

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    a lot of times i wonder

    if being bipolar is really a disorder that results from an imbalance or mal-absorption of chemicals in the brain, or if its just a result of stress and life and part of my personality...
    peaceinmiles peaceinmiles 18-21, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    So much better today.

    Just simple getting kind family support and medication made such a difference. The community support and the recovery skills Ive learned for many years of having bipolar have all benefits in combinations. What Ive learned about bipolar is all these combinations of things, not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 9

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F Sep 7, 2014

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    Ok I think I'm manic

    because I've been pacing a lot lately and I've been wanting to drink. I also just took 3 and a half times the normal dosage of ADHD meds so they're gonna kick in soon. I'm worried about myself when I start doing these reckless things. I feel like there are no consequences to...
    punicorn1 punicorn1 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Manic episode just came to a screeching halt.

    ..WTF do I do?? People are being so distant! More like WTF did I do? I have no self confidence & can't take it much longer! Help!
    IrisRays IrisRays 36-40, F 4 Responses Dec 19, 2014

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    my depression is out of control.

    my dr gave me a new med to add to the cocktail of meds I take but the insurance is holding it up. im like a f*cking storm tonight destroying everything in my path. ugh!
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    JuliaHiC JuliaHiC 22-25 5 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    omgwut omgwut 41-45, M 1 Response May 20

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    Hi everyone, I just found this site.

    I am 28 and bipolar 2, with symptoms of hypomania, depression, and anxiety, and mixed mania. My anxiety attacks used to be crippling. I also have p.m.d.d., psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis, asthma, and fibromyalgia. Not a lot of people sympathize with my conditions, I am sure a...
    TheMeanReds28 TheMeanReds28 26-30, F 2 Responses May 9

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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