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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,192 People

    It is humiliating. I am

    so ashamed of my mood swings. It takes away all confidence. One day I'm superwoman then I want to die. How I can I show face? How can I face the world? It's so embarrassing. I think I'd rather just stay depressed all the time then achieve some happiness just to come...
    stufy stufy 46-50 5 Responses May 23

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    I haven't been diagnosed with "bipolar disorder"

    because I haven't been evaluated.. but I have a feeling that I am.. I go through so many mood swings & it's a daily shift of emotion.. I'm always feeling too many things at once and it's overwhelming I'm hardly ever in a neutral state it drives me crazy.. my brain activity...
    sicksadworldx sicksadworldx 16-17, F 3 Responses May 31

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    I actually cried when i was diagnosed

    because the things that i most like about myself was just described as a mental disorder. The creative ideas and drive that gives my life meaning was now something ugly. My manias, the moments i felt the best in my life, was now something i felt compelled to treat and suppress...
    AmyOnEP AmyOnEP 41-45, F 6 Responses Jun 20

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    Being bipolar doesn't automatically make you

    evil or violent. I am bipolar and I do not hit or hurt people when angry. My mood swings can be really bad but I know not to harm people around me, for I would feel 100x worse :( so when someone tells you the are bipolar, don't run away. How do you think that makes us feel...
    QuietKitten QuietKitten 18-21, F 6 Responses May 29

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    Aagatha Aagatha 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    Did you notice once you started your meds u

    felt more emotions? you weren't so cold? or is it just me? lol
    BeautifullySick98 BeautifullySick98 31-35, F 3 Responses May 28

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    dose anyone know if your bipolar meds help with

    anxiety? dose anyone else hate taking their meds?
    penpalwriter penpalwriter 41-45, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    It's important to have someone love you.

    It gets hard at times you need there support.
    equusrider equusrider 56-60, M 4 Responses Jun 23

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 35 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 24

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    Finally keeping track of my timing on

    when my mood swings are shifty. I'll be so happy for a few hours or maybe even days, then all of a sudden I'm just super quiet. I will not say a word unless someone is talking to me. I hate being forced to talk but I know I really want to. I just can't find the words to speak...
    QuietKitten QuietKitten 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 9

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    stufy stufy 46-50 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    I get very very high

    and then I crash. I hate when I crash.
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    F..ck me! I'm in a serious mania episode!

    Hyper and extremely irritable! I hate this type! I like the happy hyper! guess it looks like my meds need fixed again! Ugh! I was warned it was a challenge getting on the right meds and it might never work out! I'm not like some that their mood swings are mild. Mine are at least...
    BeautifullySick98 BeautifullySick98 31-35, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Suicidal thoughts, uncomfortable subject

    for us all I think. It's something that can only be discussed when you're not having them. For anyone in an up down circle you'll almost certainly be having them. You're not alone, the statistics don't lie. I have when thinking about it think the danger is on upswings...
    Polis195 Polis195 36-40, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Has anyone else become dependent on Benzos?

    I take Ativan... 3mg/day. I recently ran out and didn't realize how difficult it would be to get through the day without it.
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 3 Responses May 28

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    6/19/15 at 5:36pm coming through the baby

    monitor “What’s wrong with mommy? She’s acting really weird.” “Mommy isn’t feeling well. You know this happens sometimes.” “I know but it’s different this time. She’s more weird. I’ve seen her sad, but…” “Mommy isn’t feeling well. She just needs...
    ThistleAndWeeds ThistleAndWeeds 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 19

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    Yep definitely on the manic side,

    can't get my thoughts together, my house is trashed cos I've been digging stuff out to do things and then doing something else instead. Can't make sense of long messages to reply to them. The shopping I've done is ridiculous. Oh and I'm literally attracted to every man I see...
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 7 Responses 5 days ago

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    I just found out that I am bipolar a couple

    weeks back. It's been a trying experience figuring things out. I am doing some self discovery which is very hard. I am reading anything I can to get better informed. I am also involved in Nami's peer to peer class right now and that is helping along with my meds and therapy. But...
    lilly920 lilly920 26-30, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 149 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F Sep 7, 2014

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    Since being on all these new meds I have been

    getting dizzy spells and i seem to be getting them more each day. Has anyone else had this happen? And what should I do since this is all new to me
    lilly920 lilly920 26-30, F 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I've been everyday since taking the supplement.

    I'm thinking clearly and not getting cared away. It freeing every woman that I meet I'm not seeing more to things except friendship. Bipolars have big imagination and get so carried away. Meeting someone there's no stories I here anymore. Except things as they are. The changes I...
    equusrider equusrider 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 25

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    It's time again. It's time to hear people

    whisper like trees in light rain about how ugly I look. It's time to listen to my memories repeating the stupid thing I said a year ago, overandoverandover again. It's time to watch the wall all day and night and not really remember if it's day or night; to listen to no tv, no...
    H2point0 H2point0 36-40, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    omgwut omgwut 41-45, M 2 Responses May 20

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    Im extremely depressed

    and I went through a few manic episodes last year and got diagnosed with bipolar at 26 years old I really need some one to talk to the medication I've been on made me gain a lot of weight and I have not left my bed in months my dad also committed suicide in 2009 and he had a...
    branxo branxo 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 1

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    The interesting thing about having my heart

    shattered is that I've never been in a depressive state with racing thoughts. Normally when I'm depressed I experience emotional and mental haze. Right now I've not slept more than three hours a night in four or five days, my pulse is up, my mind won't slow. Not sure when it...
    Polis195 Polis195 36-40, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    a lot of times i wonder

    if being bipolar is really a disorder that results from an imbalance or mal-absorption of chemicals in the brain, or if its just a result of stress and life and part of my personality...
    peaceinmiles peaceinmiles 18-21, F 3 Responses May 29

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    I have been under a doctor's care

    for 5 years, but lately he is not listening to me. Last July, I was in uncontrollable tears for several days, so I made an appointment when I couldn't stand it anymore because I thought maybe my medicines needing to be adjusted. Instead, he told me that I had to wait it out...
    Shampati Shampati 36-40, F 8 Responses Jun 8

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    JuliaHiC JuliaHiC 22-25 5 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    it's rough with racing thoughts,

    I hate them. I just can't handle it, I wish I had a pill to stop them. I think I'm going to talk to my pyschatrist. the coping skills aren't working. ugh this suxs so bad. I am so angry at my sons father he triggered me today and now all I think about is disappointing situations...
    smashmouth4eva smashmouth4eva 31-35, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I have a false belief system

    which leads me to believe I am a closed off person who has resigned his life only to fulfilling the curiosity of what the future holds. I substitute personal relationships for having an objective point of view. My complete lack of interest in knowing other people effects not...
    jammedapollo jammedapollo 22-25, M a week ago

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    I wish I could regulate my moods,

    how I feel and how my brain works. I feel so stupid sometimes, like everyone else around me is all ahead on why they want to do with their lives and I'm just sitting here in my depression looking gross. I know what I'd love to do in the near future but, I have no motivation to...
    QuietKitten QuietKitten 18-21, F 3 Responses May 31

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    Hi, has anyone had an experience in going off

    their meds?! I do not want to be off my meds but I recently took an overdose and it make me very sick and now when I even think of stomaching my medication or even an Advil I feel like I'm going to be sick. I'm cold all the time, my head is pounding, and I just don't feel very...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 10 Responses Jun 17

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