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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,435 People

    I don't see how I can live the rest of my life

    with this horrible, horrible disease. I was considering suicide but I knew it would destroy the people who love me. I am a burden on my parents and sister, who love me and worry about me. I am a burden on my husband, who worked all his life to have a good, safe, secure...
    Tina077 Tina077 51-55, F 6 Responses Dec 30, 2015

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    so yes I am bipolar 1 disorder manic to

    moderate. yep I know that, have know since I was 12 that something was different about me. I have went from cutting to drugs to piercings and tattoos to 7 suicide tries, to pushing everyone away, anger outburst, violence. drinking. oh man, it has been a hard sad long road. the...
    Amber237 Amber237 51-55, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I was diagnosed 25 years ago,

    and to be honest, idgaf if people think I'm crazy. If you suffer with what people think because of it, then you're letting their opinions win. A wise man, (my Dad), once told me this: "Opinions are like ********. Everyone has one, and some of them stink!" Keep going. Research...
    ZenGrrrlLioNESS ZenGrrrlLioNESS 46-50, F 6 Responses Dec 22, 2015

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    My normal scattered brained intro.

    .. Not sure where to start, but I have to get it out so I can start to focus, now is the time to focus. My new job is going well, the girl training me even said she was proud that I was picking things up fast. However... this girl has chatted with multiple other staff members...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 2

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    May I introduce myself?

    I have bipolar disorder type 2, but I am damn sure I will be type one shortly if my episodes haven't ventured into full blown mania already. I know my thinking definitely gets delusional at times. I have had incredible highs and lows. I wouldn't change having bipolar; but then...
    creativemayan creativemayan 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 31

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    my partner and I tried to specifically label my

    different moods today and i found it really helpful - especially in knowing how well I'll be able to react to stimulus, concentrate and communicate. :) 1. delirious happy 2. high-functioning happy 3. the content happy precipice 4. functional flat 5. fuzzy irritable 6. robot 7...
    plantpappi plantpappi 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 4

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 22, 2015

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    I have come to accept

    that I will be on meds for the rest of my natural life. But this disorder, disease, life wrecker, is not stronger than I am. I am stronger because I am forced to work within the structure of the cage of bipolar. But I'm no longer who I used to be, and I'm not sure I like who...
    BookGrl BookGrl 41-45, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Man I've been sleeping a lot the last few days

    and I can feel the motivation trying to run from me but I've been holding on to it so far. I just woke up and all I want to do it go back to sleep.
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84 26-30, F Jan 22

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    Every time I open this app on my phone

    and find that I accidentally left it open my heart sinks. Anyways. So I started my new job as a personal trainer, which is a HUGE career change for me. I've been working in restaurants for so long, normally my next step would be management but I've been fighting that because I...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 29

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    I am a very honest person

    and like to be upfront with people so when I first meet someone I have to just let them know I am bipolar and why you may ask, because a lot of people think people with bipolar are crazy psychotic lunatics because of the way the world has made us look. I am not going to paint a...
    Gentleandlovingsoul Gentleandlovingsoul 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 30

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    I am bipolar 1. This week I have been manic.

    Manic episodes are like a break from reality. But once the depression sets in my world just crumbles. The sky is not blue I see it as black. That is what I love about being bipolar! The high moods are the best part about it. I find with my medication it tappers off in the...
    xdarkangelx666 xdarkangelx666 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 28, 2015

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 24, 2015

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    I just hit a depressive swing

    and it's terrible. I was hypo for 2-3 weeks (my longest manic episode so far) and a couple days ago it all crashed. I'm so scared of how bad it's going to be this time and the intrusive thoughts are already starting. Last night I thought about taking a whole bottle of sleeping...
    GalaxyPrince GalaxyPrince 16-17, T 6 days ago

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    Update: so I woke back up around 10am,

    still wanting to stay in bed but, I knew I had to fight it. I have my list near my bed of things I must do in order to stay up and the most important is to take all my pills, especially the Kratom. It took me a few minutes but I made it out to the living room and took my Kratom...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 6, 2015

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    The most annoying thing someone can tell me is

    that I shouldn't take medication for my bipolar. People sometimes say I just need to learn to manage my emotions on my own. I'm sure some people can manage their disorder without medications but that doesn't mean that applies to everyone: we are all different. Don't you think...
    AnonymousKCQ AnonymousKCQ 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 29

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    And it really sucks. Usually I can control it.

    But once in awhile I'll have these extreme mood swings. I'm usually very depressed. Most times I'll have suicidal thoughts and actions. I can't sleep. I feel very tired. And I don't eat. But then other times I'll feel way too happy and like I can't shut up and I can't...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Oct 21, 2015

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    Being bipolar at times sucks

    even though the meds help sometimes it's other who don't understand me
    krazkcatlady3085 krazkcatlady3085 26-30, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    And meds dont work But do help doctors And

    pill makers Make unearned profits
    OddButResilient OddButResilient 46-50, M 9 hrs ago

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    It's on days like this

    where I wonder whether I'll be able to break the cycles that I have and move forward, to be able to enjoy a more fulfilling life. It's been around a year since my last hospital admission for mania, which as per usual lead to full blown psychosis. After I came out I settled...
    SolitaryFriend SolitaryFriend 36-40, M 4 Responses Jul 24, 2015

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    Recovering From Psychiatry- The Power of

    Psychiatric Diagnosis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHfzUAb57zo Something for people to ponder.
    SolitaryFriend SolitaryFriend 36-40, M Dec 30, 2015

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    I'm finally starting to feel more like myself!

    !! I can freely laugh and not stop at times. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ But during a laughing fit I can flip and want to beat the **** out of someone that is rude or disrespectful! 😑 Ooh look something shiny! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‘πŸ’€πŸ‘‹πŸ»πŸ‘ŠπŸ»πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    WarriorPrincess862 WarriorPrincess862 36-40, F Jan 20

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    I hate the low moments I go through

    but I hate the high moments even more. My highs are always extreme. I become very impulsive and get a sense of euphoria from doing things that I 9/10x will regret later. There's been times where I've woke up and told myself I'm going to quit my job today and actually went...
    GoldenRoses GoldenRoses 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 2

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    omgwut omgwut 41-45, M 2 Responses May 20, 2015

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    I've been struggling lately about taking my

    meds. I know they keep me stable but the side effects are getting to me. Weight gain, tiredness, lack of sexual desire.... What do you guys do to combat the side effects? Anyone here successfully treat their bipolar without meds?
    BlissfulBoredom BlissfulBoredom 26-30, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    I haven't been on medication

    for about a year. I like not having to take meds everyday. It's gets kind of hard sometimes. Mostly the depression part. Like there are days where I can't imagine doing anything but sleeping. Mental illnesses are so frustrating because even if you're not physically restricted...
    churchdadatnight churchdadatnight 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 12

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    I have absolutely no desire to get out of bed.

    I'm so fearful of going outside, maybe it's my social anxiety. I don't know what to do. No one understands me or takes my illness seriously, I feel so alone and incompetent. I can't even force myself to go outside and pick up my meds. I don't know if I can deal with this forever...
    StrangeDisaster StrangeDisaster 22-25, F 7 Responses Jul 17, 2015

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    I hate having this disorder

    when everyone is so incompetent. I hate when girls use "I'm Bipolar" as an excuse for their bitchiness. This disorder is so much more than just getting irritated. There are times when it seems as though there is no way out of this dark hole, and there are other times when I feel...
    taydolla taydolla 18-21 1 Response Jan 4

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    I want a bipolar friend.

    I think a friendship would be easier if we knew what the other was going threw. It's hard to be in a friendship we you constantly have to explain yourself. I just want to be like "Hey I am manic." or "Sorry I am depressed but we will talk as soon as it's over" Not explain that...
    Hexatiler Hexatiler 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 28, 2015

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    I have not had my medication in the week.

    I'm feeling very angry, irritable, drunk, very drunk actually, my lips and hands and feet are numb and tingly and I'm very horny. The weird thing is I am conservative generally but right now I kind of want to be sexually adventurous. How can two little pills οΏΌscrew me up to...
    WarriorPrincess862 WarriorPrincess862 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 15

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    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    Does anyone else have

    that thing where you're feeling okay, everything's normal, and all of a sudden you drop off a cliff and think "I have to kill myself," and then it goes away in a few seconds and you're back to where you were, thinking what the hell just happened?
    crossproduct crossproduct 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 7

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    Does anyone have experience dealing with pain

    management? I'm starting to feel at a loss on how to deal with the two. Also I'm not able to exercise properly or be outdoors as much as I ought to be. Any advice on a temporary transition to being indoors often.
    Polis195 Polis195 36-40, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2015

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    ******* bipolar ruining my life.

    Ruining others lives. Don't even know what are valid emotions and whats this ******* illness. Don't know who I am. I know I am not who I was. That persons dead. That person was awesome. Now I am ruined.
    whothefkami whothefkami 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 11

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    I've been doing good

    but today I'm crawling. Bipolar disorder is a full time job, no one understands it expect others with a mood disorder. Families have empathy for physical illness. But when it comes to a mood disorder because your sick they just think your lazy. I am looking after a wife with...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 10, 2015

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    Those of you who are on anti convulsants

    as a mood stabilizer. (seizure meds) Do you find that if ur off with a dose or two you start getting very unstable with ur temper? I find that if I do that. I start getting very irritable and snappy at ppl. It takes me like 3 doses to kick it an go back to a more calm mood. The...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Aug 18, 2015

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 1 Response Nov 2, 2014

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    Being bipolar doesn't automatically make you

    evil or violent. I am bipolar and I do not hit or hurt people when angry. My mood swings can be really bad but I know not to harm people around me, for I would feel 100x worse :( so when someone tells you the are bipolar, don't run away. How do you think that makes us feel...
    xdizzybutterflyx xdizzybutterflyx 18-21, F 5 Responses May 29, 2015

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 35 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    I recently got a job at a local hospital,

    which is a field far beyond what I have ever done, and it made me realize that I long for someone to just be there for me and take care of me. It goes beyond being pampered or not wanting to do anything. It's an intense need to know that someone can take care of me. I have both...
    EmmaBrooke24 EmmaBrooke24 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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