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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,032 People

    I'm starting to believe

    that the doctor might be right about me having bipolar disorder. I had a really good 3 weeks and then today I crashed for no reason. I hadn't been suicidal or wanted to hurt myself. I was creative and happy. I was social. Now I keep thinking "I wish I were dead" and I hate when...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 5

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    Bring on the trauma triggered tidal waves of ups

    and downs. This is gonna suck...as though naturally flying high and crashing isn't hard enough...lets add a devastating family breakup to the mix. I just want to destroy everything in my path and hide in a dark hole at the same time.
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I was diagnosed with BP-NOS.

    My story starts when I was eighteen. I went to an out-of-state university on a full scholarship. I was in the top ten of my class and I had a bright future ahead of myself. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be the first person in my family to graduate from college. Two...
    InsaneFlowerGirl InsaneFlowerGirl 22-25, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    It appears For approximately 1-2 weeks I'm

    extremely happy and suffer very few symptoms of my depression Then I suddenly spiral Downwards for approximately 3-4 days
    LuiGina LuiGina 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    ffets ffets 46-50 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    When you are in a manic phase,

    you feel on top of the world, and you think you are getting so much better. But then you go into a depressed phase, and you realize you were wrong. The whole disease is just getting your hopes up and being disappointed, over and over again.
    indranimeows indranimeows 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 18

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    Difficult to make friends,

    more difficult to keep them. Yet even more difficult to say why I want to talk to people, so here's me putting it out there. Would like to start some sort of absurd debate . . . let's start there!
    Xerdna74 Xerdna74 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 23

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    It feels like i´m 2 different people bottled

    inside on a single body....i feel depressed 50% of the time and in the other 50% i just feel angry,sadistic and crazy....
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 13

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Lmao!!! I was in the grocery store yesterday.

    OOH look! A new ketchup bottle with 25% extra, Cool! I took the stuff I was going to buy to the counter (keep in mind that the store was a huge one). I took a look around me and found some guy right behind me. He was shaking profusely so I just past it off as that he had...
    InnocentPigeon InnocentPigeon 70+ Jan 26

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    So so low, feels like drowning.

    Always happens at times when GP is closed.
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 17

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    Bipolar, But Without The Fun

    I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is...
    shygrl85 shygrl85 22-25, F 14 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    Being a Bipolar Student

    I have been officially diagnosed as being Bipolar I for a little over three years. As I have gotten older my symptoms and cycles have continually progressed and become more difficult to control or recognize. Luckily, I have an amazingly supportive family, and I have been...
    themanicmind themanicmind 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 2, 2009

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    heiseyjulia heiseyjulia 22-25 4 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    Just got out of the hospital

    for depression, but not doing well. Can't stop the bad thoughts and just want the pain to end. There is literally no hope.
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 24

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    I have a secret. I'm Bipolar Type II.

    I hide my illness as well as I can for the fear of being stigmatized by society. The word bipolar is so popular in pop-culture now that it's very common to hear someone being called bipolar if they have mood swings, or if they are two faced and act like two different people. It...
    Enaud21 Enaud21 31-35, M 2 Responses May 22, 2014

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F Sep 7, 2014

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    I am getting treatment

    for possible bipolar disorder after a second extremely depressive episode inside of a year. The thing is.. my psychiatrist said that he is not ready to make a diagnosis yet, so who knows if I really am. He put me on 150mg and now 300mg Lithium Carbonate, all I notice is it makes...
    TheRedsGoMarchingIn TheRedsGoMarchingIn 18-21, M 6 Responses Feb 18

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    I really hate being Bipolar.

    I honestly don't really know anyone who likes it, but who knows. I am someone who likes know why and why not for almost everything. like everything has to have a place and its in that place for a reason. and I feel like being bipolar is like just playing a big guessing game. I...
    AfraidOfMyOwnMind AfraidOfMyOwnMind 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 20

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    Honestly I have no idea

    if I am ...I just know that sth is wrong. Every few months I just get really depressed for at least a week or two. I have no idea what triggers it , it just happens and I start feeling worthless, alone, tired of life and helpless. Those days I feel like everyday I m just...
    ladymerylin ladymerylin 18-21, F Feb 13

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    The Gifts Of Bipolar

    What is the nature of disability? What does the idea mean? It is a statistical concept, I think. Which is to say, it is a measure of comparison. We can only be “disabled” in comparison to a group of others who have more ability on this particular measure. Everyone can be...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 13 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    I M Bipolar

    Without medication i have racing speech, anxiety attacks, i wont sleep, and have lots of energy. I am taking meds and they are working for me. I go to a support group call DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) . I have friends that understand my mental illness. The...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 8 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    I suffer with bipolar type 2 .

    For the last 3 years it was diagnosed with just pmdd. It's been so hard writing about it makes me want to tear up. It's hard to talk to someone about it when they don't go through the same thing you do, but I want to be happy and live my life how it should be lived. I'm sick of...
    final666 final666 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 20

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    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 5

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 24

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    Aelfwynn Aelfwynn 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 2, 2014

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    i have moodswings that are not normal

    and one day when some kid bothered me about my shoes i almost killed him and then i suddenly turned manic with happiness of what i've done and when i saw people trying to help him i was so depressed i started cutting.... my mom took me to the doctor and they found out i am...
    stella2b3 stella2b3 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 28

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    I feel like my bipolar is ruining my

    relationship. I never know if I want to be with my gf or if the feelings are even there anymore and it's driving me mad. Anyone else been thru this?
    HarrySavage96 HarrySavage96 18-21, M 5 Responses Jan 19

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    I'm not sure if anyone has shared this

    but I found Dr.Roger Sparhawks book, calm seas to be extremely informative on bipolar. with years of clinicals under his belt he described bipolar in a way that I could understand only occasionally having to look up what he was talking about. his knowledge on the subject led me...
    AllOutWar AllOutWar 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Well the new meds they put me on had a very

    serious side effect, extreme excessive thirst. Which if I didnt retain fluid and took it off like a normal person it would be no big deal. But I have slight heart damage. It makes me retain fluid some. With the meds I was drinking 3-4x the normal amount. I gained 34lbs in a week...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 7

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    Feel so alone atm I've been in a depressed

    episode for months now and I just feel like I have no one even tho I have so many People around me
    HarrySavage96 HarrySavage96 18-21, M 4 Responses Jan 21

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    I am bi-polar 1 with anxiety disorder

    as well. Does anyone else have Anxiety disorder along with Bi-polar? My mania triggers my anxiety and causes me to hyperventilate. I also have OCD. It's crippling at times.
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    I get very very high

    and then I crash. I hate when I crash.
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    what is everyone's mixed episodes like?

    mine are absolutely horrible. I get extremely agitated and I don't wanna be touched at all by anything or anyone or else I go insane. sometimes if its bad enough self harm plays a role. I see things that need to be cleaned but I don't have the energy to do them. at the same time...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 27

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    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake 22-25, F 8 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    It's like a war in my head.

    ..i start being suicidal and then fir no reason i switch to a hyperactive state ...idk what the hell is going on...idk who i am....
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 18

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 152 Responses Jun 6, 2010