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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,278 People

    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    My dearest friend is sick,

    I was trying to be there for her but my impulsive personality got in the way and caused her pain. I'm torn by the agony of guilt. We both thought by visiting her would give her some relief, I just made things even worse. A long time ago, I built a wall around myself to keep my...
    Nohope12 Nohope12 31-35, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    I was diagnosed with Rapid Cycling Bipolar at

    the age of 12. I was voluntarily admitted into a psychiatric hospital to receive help during an extremely depressed phase. At one time I was taking many medications but now I am currently only on one medication. One thing that bothers me the most is feeling like I have no one...
    deepinnerthoughts deepinnerthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    JuliaHiC JuliaHiC 22-25 5 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    F..ck me! I'm in a serious mania episode!

    Hyper and extremely irritable! I hate this type! I like the happy hyper! guess it looks like my meds need fixed again! Ugh! I was warned it was a challenge getting on the right meds and it might never work out! I'm not like some that their mood swings are mild. Mine are at least...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 5 Responses Jun 28

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    I get very very high

    and then I crash. I hate when I crash.
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    It's coming to the point again

    where I'm just overthinking and I can't calm myself down
    MissingMistake MissingMistake 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 19

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    mofo33 mofo33 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 19

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    I'm thinking about trying to go medicine free

    now. I've had a break from the bad depression and I was able to keep myself from committing suicide for 5 years without meds before. I think that I could do it again now that I've had a period where things weren't so bad. I still have suicidal thoughts here and there and I have...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    It's on days like this

    where I wonder whether I'll be able to break the cycles that I have and move forward, to be able to enjoy a more fulfilling life. It's been around a year since my last hospital admission for mania, which as per usual lead to full blown psychosis. After I came out I settled...
    SolitaryFriend SolitaryFriend 31-35, M 4 Responses Jul 24

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 24

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    I'm back on my full dose of Geodon

    after trying to taper. I couldn't handle it. So I'm still on both Latuda and Geodon an lots an lots of Benadryl and 3 mg of lorazepam to try to control the extrapyramidal side effects... I'm so frustrated with my medication. Has anyone here tried controlling their bipolar...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F Aug 22

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    omgwut omgwut 41-45, M 2 Responses May 20

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    Lotusflower80 Lotusflower80 31-35, F 16 Responses a week ago

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 149 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    I M Bipolar

    Without medication i have racing speech, anxiety attacks, i wont sleep, and have lots of energy. I am taking meds and they are working for me. I go to a support group call DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) . I have friends that understand my mental illness. The...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 6 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    Those of you who are on anti convulsants

    as a mood stabilizer. (seizure meds) Do you find that if ur off with a dose or two you start getting very unstable with ur temper? I find that if I do that. I start getting very irritable and snappy at ppl. It takes me like 3 doses to kick it an go back to a more calm mood. The...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 7 Responses Aug 18

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    Lotusflower80 Lotusflower80 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    I don't want to be on medication

    for the rest of my life. I've had success with Animal Assisted Therapy and have been 95 percent better since I got my dog. I also find that exercising stabilizes me (and also gets me tired enough that I'll sleep through the night). Does anyone else have any successful...
    giannaboleyn giannaboleyn 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    I know you are not supposed to self diagnose,

    but I totally have and now am just sitting around waiting for people to agree with me. I have not felt this certain about what is going on, ever. Half a year ago (after like three or four years of struggling with my mood constantly) I was finally like "ok I actually have...
    mofo33 mofo33 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 24

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    Finally normal again

    and feeling amazing - Wow it's been almost two years since I've written. I just read all my posts again and its so surreal. I can't believe I went through all of that. To be honest I don't really remember a lot of what happened but it makes me so sad to read through all these...
    lololala lololala 18-21 2 Responses Aug 24

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    I wish God would take me now.

    I'm tried now, I dont want to hang on anymore.
    penpalwriter penpalwriter 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    Being bipolar doesn't automatically make you

    evil or violent. I am bipolar and I do not hit or hurt people when angry. My mood swings can be really bad but I know not to harm people around me, for I would feel 100x worse :( so when someone tells you the are bipolar, don't run away. How do you think that makes us feel...
    xMellowButterflyx xMellowButterflyx 18-21, F 6 Responses May 29

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F Sep 7, 2014

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    Uh oh, insomnia starting up,

    are my couple days of peace, over? Hope that tonight will be better. Also kind of losing appetite... Crossing my fingers for depression only. no mania... Thank goodness have appts this week with both psychologist and psychiatrist.
    mofo33 mofo33 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 23

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    I have absolutely no desire to get out of bed.

    I'm so fearful of going outside, maybe it's my social anxiety. I don't know what to do. No one understands me or takes my illness seriously, I feel so alone and incompetent. I can't even force myself to go outside and pick up my meds. I don't know if I can deal with this forever...
    StrangeDisaster StrangeDisaster 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 17

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    My dr upped my dose of Latuda to 160 an began

    to slowly taper off the Geodon at my request because Geodon give me extrapyramidal side effects. I made it Dow to 40mg, but I'm absolutely miserable. I feel depressed and angry and anxious. Nothing makes me happy. So I sleep as much as possible, all day, to avoid my feelings...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    Me when manic : everything is wonderful Me

    when depressed : everything sucks
    halohai halohai 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Sigh, yeah, tmr go to the doc

    for full psych eval. Finally. Cant believe I have never had one -_- considering the past four years of my life... I am like 90 percent sure I am bipolar. Which is awful but also not awful? Anxious because I have like zero faith in my judgement but I do want answers. But also...
    mofo33 mofo33 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    Did any of you notice that

    once u got on the right cocktail of meds your once through the roof s_x drive became "normal"???
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 10 Responses 6 days ago

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    Finally, after like three weeks of sucky up

    and down I could feel the calm coming on... and today I woke up calm and have remained so for the today. Still a bit tired but considering everything, that is not too bad LIke, I actually have had an appetite today,so eating wasnt miserable like it has been, and was able to...
    mofo33 mofo33 18-21, F Aug 20

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    Do any of you ever get this feeling

    where you know that if you close your eyes and breathe and calm yourself you will probably fall asleep but yet your mind is racing and wanting to do 100 things first. It's not that I don't feel tired, it's more like I don't want to sleep even though I know that if I don't go to...
    Mari3028 Mari3028 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 22

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    Has anyone here ever TAKEN THEMSELVES to a

    mental hospital? Everyone seems to think it is really weird to check yourself in to a mental hospital, but I have done it twice. Just because I felt like I wanted to die and there was something wrong with me but I had no idea what. I just felt certain that I needed to go in...
    mofo33 mofo33 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 19

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    raffelle raffelle 56-60, T 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Converted Converted 46-50, M 4 Responses Jun 24

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    my bipolar is acting up right now.

    its one of those days where I wish I had a different life, different family. a kind of day where I just dont want to be alive.
    penpalwriter penpalwriter 41-45, F 2 Responses Aug 19

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 35 Responses Apr 28, 2009