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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,905 People

    I am a severe bipolar.

    My highs are composed of manic euphoria, ADHD, and insomnia, while my lows are chronic depression, body tremors, body memories, and anxiety. It is really hard for me to explain just how ****** up I am to people. My relationships usually end up in disaster. I was also adopted at...
    creativeinspiration creativeinspiration 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 19

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    Suddenly hit by a wave of depression

    so bad I can barely breathe. Going to hide in bed for as long as I can..
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    i am so manic depressed my music isn't

    even cutting it anything. my mood swings are all over the place . i am not liking this at all.
    jps2288 jps2288 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 24

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 7

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6

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    Wish My Brain Would Shut The Hell Up!

    Yep...i'm bipolar.  Bipolar 1, manic depressive if we want to get clinical.  It royally sucks.  Can't really put a sugar coating on what it is.  I was diagnosed right before I started a 2 year prison sentence.  I'd embezzled mass amounts of money from a company I had worked...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 13 Responses Apr 26, 2011

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 34 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    It's almost like screaming underwater.

    No one can hear my screams and the pain from everything flooding into my lungs is deafening. Nothing helps and it never seems to get better. I just pray for Mania to make her way, so that Depression's deadly grip can subside. The enthusiasm and energy will fade once Mania...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    Hi im bipolar. Whats your name?

    Instead of Hi im jack. Whats your name? I am a person too. Not stable yet But a person none the less
    ChangingFaces5 ChangingFaces5 22-25 Dec 4

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    Acceptance

    I am a diagnosed BiPolar II. And also dual diagnosis with many other associated types of dissorders, anxiety-panic-border personality-etc.    I was diagnosed at 16 but went off meds at about 18. I am now 31 and only last year have sought help for these issues. Am...
    KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 151 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    I am bipolar and it effects my life I can't do

    what other people do when my meds aren't working there is a lot of drama I don't always know what to say or do I am tired of being this way I want to move on with my life so bad but something always holds me back it not right so I am going to try and not let anyone hold me back...
    guinness26 guinness26 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 9

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21

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    At times I think the side effects of the

    medicine is worse then the mood swings . I don't know what else to say ? I hate feeling sick . My mood may be a little better but I hate these side effects .
    jpstoll2288 jpstoll2288 26-30, M 4 Responses Dec 4

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    One minute I'm happy

    and everything is fine and the next minute I'm upset and angry and dont want anyone talking to me ugh I really got issues. That's the reason why everyone hate getting on my bad said cuz they all know that I'm bipolar
    FLAndFF FLAndFF 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 17

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    My school wants me to talk at the mental health

    assembly about my story. I am not sure what to talk about. I remember when I first started showing symptoms. When I was 13 I was a competetive swimmer, baseball player, competetive soccer, basketball and I played Major Bantam hockey. I started to become afraid of the water...
    LandonS LandonS 16-17, M 5 Responses a week ago

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    A poem I wrote about Bipolar,

    which I call simply 'River'. Pain like a river, a tsunami if you will I feel it deep within my veins, god how it makes me feel ill. I cast out tonight, desperate and blind, reeled in some new friends for whose virtual hugs I do pine. Bipolar river, the black and blue sea...
    RealJax0009 RealJax0009 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 30

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2

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    Being a Bipolar Student

    I have been officially diagnosed as being Bipolar I for a little over three years. As I have gotten older my symptoms and cycles have continually progressed and become more difficult to control or recognize. Luckily, I have an amazingly supportive family, and I have been...
    themanicmind themanicmind 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 2, 2009

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7

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    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake 22-25, F 8 Responses Nov 17

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    I'm really struggling lately.

    I'm type 2 bipolar and I'm finding it really hard to control my feelings. I keep lashing out at my boyfriend over silly things and everybody irritates me lately. Does anyone have any advice to help me control things a little more?
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 12

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    I M Bipolar

    Without medication i have racing speech, anxiety attacks, i wont sleep, and have lots of energy. I am taking meds and they are working for me. I go to a support group call DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) . I have friends that understand my mental illness. The...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 8 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    Despite the highs and lows of today right

    now I seem to be crashing really hard. I don't know what to do when I get this low...I need someone
    baileebae baileebae 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    I AM AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT lol just

    kidding but like really i am Bipolar like, really :)
    jadelynthompson jadelynthompson 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 22

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    It's getting harder everyday.

    I don't want to work. I don't want to do anything I'm "supposed" to be doing. The thing is.. I don't know what I would do or go if I had that freedom. I think I would get in my car and just start driving. Im so consumed by so many thoughts.. But I don't know what they are. I'm...
    kimberlyfaith kimberlyfaith 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    I'm having a terrible mixed episode.

    Earlier my mind was going so fast, now I'm just scared. I feel like many people stuck in one body. I need help. IdK what to do. My boyfriend told me a few days ago he wished I was manic again because he can't stand it when I'm depressed. I was depressed for a month straight and...
    WolfOfDreams WolfOfDreams 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 21

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    OK, so, yes, I am and that's all fine

    and great. I'm also rapid cycling and that's been a huge problem these past 2 months or so. Today, well, for almost a week now, I've been getting very little sleep because of one of the kids being sick. This is messing with me pretty bad, as anyone with bipolar knows. Plus I'm...
    omgwut omgwut 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 21

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2

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    And impulsive. Walked out of my job yesterday

    after a coworker decided she was gonna flip out for no reason. I regret it, I should have thought things out, but, the switch flipped and the yelling and unnecessary responses took place. So ******:/
    Casie3Lynn Casie3Lynn 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Music is the best when you're manic.

    I'll listen to music for an entire day without breaks. I don't want to stop listening. Silence is depressing. Loud and fast my heart is thumping.
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 29

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    I'm at a strange place in my life right now.

    I've spent the last 20 years battling bipolar disorder type 1. I know a lot of people are misdiagnosed and bipolar, especially type 2, is a "diagnosis du jour". It's horrible that people get misdiagnosed and take unnecessary medication, or the wrong kind of medication when there...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 11

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    I have a secret. I'm Bipolar Type II.

    I hide my illness as well as I can for the fear of being stigmatized by society. The word bipolar is so popular in pop-culture now that it's very common to hear someone being called bipolar if they have mood swings, or if they are two faced and act like two different people. It...
    Enaud21 Enaud21 31-35, M 3 Responses May 22

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2010

    and was hospitalized once because of it. i'm feeling a lot better since then cuz I've been on medication. but I still doubt if I really have bipolar or the doctors misdiagnosed the problem. anyway should take all the efforts necessary to improve myself rather than focussing on...
    kk52314 kk52314 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 7

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    I don’t understand I was fine three minutes

    ago and now everything is crashing around me and the walls of my heart are breaking and oh god I wish my veins were too
    CaliforniaPsycho CaliforniaPsycho 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    The Gifts Of Bipolar

    What is the nature of disability? What does the idea mean? It is a statistical concept, I think. Which is to say, it is a measure of comparison. We can only be “disabled” in comparison to a group of others who have more ability on this particular measure. Everyone can be...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 13 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    Aelfwynn Aelfwynn 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 2

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    Manic episode just came to a screeching halt.

    ..WTF do I do?? People are being so distant! More like WTF did I do? I have no self confidence & can't take it much longer! Help!
    IrisRays IrisRays 36-40, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    Its sucks to have bipolar disorder

    and an anxiety disorder.
    Danae102 Danae102 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 28

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    My mom is so much help in my quest to find

    peace... NOT! Today she told me that she is glad I'm missing my psych appointments because she thinks therapists are quacks. Then someone turned the conversation into a religious statement about sex. I don't know what to do other than remove her from my life...I'm so sick of it...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 4 Responses Dec 6

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14

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    alentecia alentecia 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    Short prose about what it's like.

    For me that is. Waxing and waning as the lowest tide swallowed me whole, panicking and aching just to feel normal. The reckless perfectionist cleans up messes of others but destroys herself, Who did I wake up today as? It doesn't matter cause yesteryear I was living as someone...
    SubcultureSellout SubcultureSellout 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    heiseyjulia heiseyjulia 22-25 4 Responses Sep 18

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    I get very very high

    and then I crash. I hate when I crash.
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 4 Responses Apr 7

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    Got a new doctor and met with him today

    and in those 5 minutes without asking me anything he completely dismissed my bipolar. Only talking about my bpd. This made me angry because the doctor I've had since I was 15 said I did have it and I trust her and other doctors from when I was in hospital also think I do. He's...
    bananananaxo bananananaxo 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 18

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    Bipolar, But Without The Fun

    I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is...