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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,242 People

    I have absolutely no desire to get out of bed.

    I'm so fearful of going outside, maybe it's my social anxiety. I don't know what to do. No one understands me or takes my illness seriously, I feel so alone and incompetent. I can't even force myself to go outside and pick up my meds. I don't know if I can deal with this forever...
    StrangeDisaster StrangeDisaster 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 17

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    From horribly sad. To horny.

    Or aroused. To sad. To amused. To baffled. To depressed. To amused. Should move to vegas. And let people place bets On next mood felt.
    Converted Converted 46-50, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    Caoilin1 Caoilin1 36-40, M 1 Response 23 hrs ago

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5

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    I just wanna lay in bed forever.

    . people think I'm super lazy
    halohai halohai 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 12

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    I've come to realize

    that when im not on my meds I can't think straight. I'm paranoid, I become slightly delusional, I dont interpret things right. Im a mess off my meds. Thankfully tomorrow ill get my meds! Any of u guys like this without ur mood stabilizer?
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 24

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Aagatha Aagatha 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 8

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    Being bipolar doesn't automatically make you

    evil or violent. I am bipolar and I do not hit or hurt people when angry. My mood swings can be really bad but I know not to harm people around me, for I would feel 100x worse :( so when someone tells you the are bipolar, don't run away. How do you think that makes us feel...
    MellowKitten MellowKitten 18-21, F 6 Responses May 29

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    Today is a hard day due to weather.

    Thunderstorms eliminate outdoor activity. They also make me reflective and feel small. Mistakes and all those who have left my life hover around like ghosts; questioning, demanding, judging. Whispers of what could of been and will never be. I wish only for the sweet bliss of...
    Polis195 Polis195 36-40, M 2 Responses Jul 8

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 149 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    Suicidal thoughts, uncomfortable subject

    for us all I think. It's something that can only be discussed when you're not having them. For anyone in an up down circle you'll almost certainly be having them. You're not alone, the statistics don't lie. I have when thinking about it think the danger is on upswings...
    Polis195 Polis195 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 3

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    I am bipolar even while subconscious evidently.

    Last week I went in for my 1st colonoscopy and while I was hypo I thought that wouldn't be a problem. Except while hypo I am prone to fits of verbosity. According to the doc I babbled so much he couldn't concentrate and he had the anesthesiologist put me under more to quiet me...
    Golondrinas Golondrinas 51-55, M 1 Response Jul 20

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    I've always been a little off I guess.

    I don't know exactly when it started to show, but it was completely triggered when I went through a breakup with an emotionally abusive relationship. I did some crazy things, almost ended up dead. I got the help I needed, and am now come a long way, and am healing. I now take...
    AlwaysRestless AlwaysRestless 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 4

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F Sep 7, 2014

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 35 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    I was diagnosed manic-depressive in 1973,

    put on lithium and then a couple of other drugs which left me spacey with a 24/7 low level depression and robbed me of the soaring high. After a couple of years of trying different meds I gave up and flushed them until I graduated high school and left home. 40 years later I am...
    Golondrinas Golondrinas 51-55, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    omgwut omgwut 41-45, M 2 Responses May 20

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    This was my official diagnosis from the doctor:

    Manic Depressive. I VERY RARELY have the manic phase, though, so I generally speak about it as "depression" because I suffer from the depression about 99% of the time. When the mania comes up, though, that 1% of the time, it is nasty. I say the stupidest things, and I'm...
    Boulier Boulier 18-21, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    Greetings. I live in California

    and I have bipolar disorder. Was not diagnosed until age 47. One of these days, I promise to tell the full story of my diagnosis and recovery -- which is an ongoing process, not a finality nor will it ever be. Let me add that I have no problem with this type of identity in my...
    emperornorton47 emperornorton47 56-60, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    I have been on meds for 18 years.

    Was diagnosed with depression at age 16 then at 20 diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have been on practically everything. Some do nothing. Some work for a while then just stop. I've been doing this constant trial and error with different combinations for 18 years now. Almost...
    jks1981 jks1981 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 13

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    JuliaHiC JuliaHiC 22-25 5 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    I get very very high

    and then I crash. I hate when I crash.
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 2, 2014

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    ...And I have come to a time in my life

    where I need to put my relationship and my whole life in the country I am living in on hold.... In order to go back home and start to heal :(. Knowing on the inside that it's probably the right thing to do doesn't make it any less painful. I love him... I will miss him... But it...
    Lariza898 Lariza898 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    Converted Converted 46-50, M 4 Responses Jun 24

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    today went a little better

    as I got four hours sleep. physically better that is. my mind is still racing and it just won't stop. I'm at the point where I'll have to start self medicating soon just to sleep six hours. at some point this type of exhaustion combined with my state of mania will lead my...
    Polis195 Polis195 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 2

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    I am happy one minute,

    then sad, then angry, then happy again. :( I like the happy part the best. :)
    gigglekitty gigglekitty 13-15, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    why can't I stop talking about my ex.

    he's the father of my son and right now he's not in my sons life. I'm angry and hurt. I want him there. despite all his mental health issues I want him to be there. but you can't force someone to do something they aren't willing to compromise. there's one issue his gf she is...
    smashmouth4eva smashmouth4eva 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    I've been doing good

    but today I'm crawling. Bipolar disorder is a full time job, no one understands it expect others with a mood disorder. Families have empathy for physical illness. But when it comes to a mood disorder because your sick they just think your lazy. I am looking after a wife with...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 10

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    stufy stufy 46-50 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    Since being on all these new meds I have been

    getting dizzy spells and i seem to be getting them more each day. Has anyone else had this happen? And what should I do since this is all new to me
    lilly920 lilly920 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 3

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    Mine is usually sadness randomly hitting me.

    Some call it "bipolar depression" while others say that's not a real thing.. All I know is I wasn't thinking these dark thoughts earlier and they're real..
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    So, all my life I have been bipolar

    and it changes my mood significantly. It's like I have borderline multi personalities, because of how I act. My husband even agrees of how I am open to share my feelings and other times I hide them in. Being bipolar is no fun, because if someone yells at me, I either want to...
    Ildas56 Ildas56 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    I was diagnosed as bipolar about six weeks ago.

    No ******* clue who I am or what's going on. I also suffer from borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety etc. so feel extra confused and like I'm being tugged around by disorders. On top of that I'm a psychology major so it's hella hard not to self diagnose...
    sunafterstorm sunafterstorm 22-25, F 6 Responses Jul 21

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    The two faces that have been fertilized inside

    me at a young age maybe around 9 or something I don't know. It started off mildly like almost any disease would, during the beginning of mental hell I was unusually moody and did some dumb stuff out of pure silliness, everyone thought it was just some case of daredevil boy but...
    QuietFreedom QuietFreedom 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 19

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