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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,964 People

    When you are in a manic phase,

    you feel on top of the world, and you think you are getting so much better. But then you go into a depressed phase, and you realize you were wrong. The whole disease is just getting your hopes up and being disappointed, over and over again.
    indranimeows indranimeows 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 18

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    Difficult to make friends,

    more difficult to keep them. Yet even more difficult to say why I want to talk to people, so here's me putting it out there. Would like to start some sort of absurd debate . . . let's start there!
    Xerdna74 Xerdna74 31-35, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    what is everyone's mixed episodes like?

    mine are absolutely horrible. I get extremely agitated and I don't wanna be touched at all by anything or anyone or else I go insane. sometimes if its bad enough self harm plays a role. I see things that need to be cleaned but I don't have the energy to do them. at the same time...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Bipolar, But Without The Fun

    I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is...
    shygrl85 shygrl85 22-25, F 14 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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    Acceptance

    I am a diagnosed BiPolar II. And also dual diagnosis with many other associated types of dissorders, anxiety-panic-border personality-etc.    I was diagnosed at 16 but went off meds at about 18. I am now 31 and only last year have sought help for these issues. Am...
    KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    I'm on a lot of medication.

    I take Lamictal, Geodon, Latuda, Ativan, Benadryl and I take Ambien for sleep (I am very addicted to sleeping pills and would like to get off, but that's another story). I still suffer from depression and anxiety despite all the meds. I haven't had a manic or mixed episode in...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I don't know what to say

    or how to explain what I feel. I currently feeling depressed, lonely (like I've been abandon even though I have a very supportive wife). There has not been any highs that I can't remember but it could have been yesterday but I can't think when I get like this. I feel trapped I...
    polargh0st polargh0st 31-35, M Jan 10

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    Manic episode just came to a screeching halt.

    ..WTF do I do?? People are being so distant! More like WTF did I do? I have no self confidence & can't take it much longer! Help!
    IrisRays IrisRays 36-40, F 4 Responses Dec 19, 2014

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    doglovverr56 doglovverr56 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 7

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    I was diagnosed with it last year

    although I already knew it two years ago, thanks to the internet. The worst part is how severe my mood swings get and I can't think straight. The medication (I'm on lithium and olansapine) also sucks because it makes me gain weight and doesn't actually seem to work at times.
    grump39 grump39 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Being a Bipolar Student

    I have been officially diagnosed as being Bipolar I for a little over three years. As I have gotten older my symptoms and cycles have continually progressed and become more difficult to control or recognize. Luckily, I have an amazingly supportive family, and I have been...
    themanicmind themanicmind 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 2, 2009

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    I M Bipolar

    Without medication i have racing speech, anxiety attacks, i wont sleep, and have lots of energy. I am taking meds and they are working for me. I go to a support group call DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) . I have friends that understand my mental illness. The...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 8 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    I am in a manic state.

    I have been for what seems like forever. It started as feeling great ready to take the world head on. It has progressed into a state where I have no control of mental self. To a point where I am being denied to claim my thoughts. I feel as if I have endless amounts of energy yet...
    erraticallycomposed erraticallycomposed 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 8

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    Stufy Stufy 46-50 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    heiseyjulia heiseyjulia 22-25 4 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    I go through a roller-coaster of emotions

    everyday, sad than happy than angry to joyful. I'll have days when I can't stand the idea of people being around me or even getting out of bed and I can't bring myself to eat for days. Then I'll switch suddenly to wanting to go out every day and laughing at the smallest things...
    irishblackwolf irishblackwolf 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    I really hate being Bipolar.

    I honestly don't really know anyone who likes it, but who knows. I am someone who likes know why and why not for almost everything. like everything has to have a place and its in that place for a reason. and I feel like being bipolar is like just playing a big guessing game. I...
    AfraidOfMyOwnMind AfraidOfMyOwnMind 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 20

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 152 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    So so low, feels like drowning.

    Always happens at times when GP is closed.
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 17

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    Hello. I've been having some revelations

    nearly. I've worked out somethings. I'm planning to go to college to become a clinical psychologist. I have been stuck in the past for quite some time. I always hated the way the doctors treated me. They maid me into a patient. I was angy. Now that I know I don't have a mental...
    InnocentPigeon InnocentPigeon 70+ 1 Response Jan 8

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    Experiencing bipolar symptoms.

    Ive been great for a month or two, lately these past few days ive been feeling depressed. Tonight i cried for the first time in a year. I was depressed this time last year to. I felt fine after my crying sesh (lol im such a *****). Next moment i felt fine for 5 minutes then i...
    TonyMontanah TonyMontanah 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 8

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    So..im feeling rather foolish.

    Tonight i triggered a hypomanic episode on purpose so that i could rid myself of writers block (i write poetry) and now i am spinning. Legs bouncing, crying and really wanting a drink. The two poems i wrote are fabulous..just not sure if it was worth it.
    missrng missrng 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 12

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 34 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    Does anyone get obsessive,

    racing thoughts and depression at the same time? I don't know if this is mixed or not. It's so frustrating. Yesterday I thought I was high but it didn't last. Was having some odd experiences like feeling as though things aren't real, suddenly finding myself somewhere and I had...
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 1

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    The Gifts Of Bipolar

    What is the nature of disability? What does the idea mean? It is a statistical concept, I think. Which is to say, it is a measure of comparison. We can only be “disabled” in comparison to a group of others who have more ability on this particular measure. Everyone can be...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 13 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    I have a secret. I'm Bipolar Type II.

    I hide my illness as well as I can for the fear of being stigmatized by society. The word bipolar is so popular in pop-culture now that it's very common to hear someone being called bipolar if they have mood swings, or if they are two faced and act like two different people. It...
    Enaud21 Enaud21 31-35, M 3 Responses May 22, 2014

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    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M Dec 31, 2014

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F Sep 7, 2014

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Sometimes I read people's stories

    and think wow that's really bad but I'm no better my "craziness" if you will is just in different arenas of my life or acted out different we are all battling something great and I am just happy I am still here and have survived the worst of times. Hang in there!
    doglovverr56 doglovverr56 22-25, F Jan 1

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    Wish My Brain Would Shut The Hell Up!

    Yep...i'm bipolar.  Bipolar 1, manic depressive if we want to get clinical.  It royally sucks.  Can't really put a sugar coating on what it is.  I was diagnosed right before I started a 2 year prison sentence.  I'd embezzled mass amounts of money from a company I had worked...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 13 Responses Apr 26, 2011

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    Feel so alone atm I've been in a depressed

    episode for months now and I just feel like I have no one even tho I have so many People around me
    HarrySavage96 HarrySavage96 18-21, M 4 Responses Jan 21

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    I suffer with bipolar type 2 .

    For the last 3 years it was diagnosed with just pmdd. It's been so hard writing about it makes me want to tear up. It's hard to talk to someone about it when they don't go through the same thing you do, but I want to be happy and live my life how it should be lived. I'm sick of...
    final666 final666 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 20

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    Lmao!!! I was in the grocery store yesterday.

    OOH look! A new ketchup bottle with 25% extra, Cool! I took the stuff I was going to buy to the counter (keep in mind that the store was a huge one). I took a look around me and found some guy right behind me. He was shaking profusely so I just past it off as that he had...
    InnocentPigeon InnocentPigeon 70+ 2 days ago

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    It appears For approximately 1-2 weeks I'm

    extremely happy and suffer very few symptoms of my depression Then I suddenly spiral Downwards for approximately 3-4 days
    LuiGina LuiGina 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I feel like my bipolar is ruining my

    relationship. I never know if I want to be with my gf or if the feelings are even there anymore and it's driving me mad. Anyone else been thru this?
    HarrySavage96 HarrySavage96 18-21, M 5 Responses Jan 19

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    Being bipolar is driving me crazy :/ medication

    and therapy didn't help. I feel like ill never have an actually normal life like i will always just be trapped in the never ending cycle.. Nothing helps i just want to feel normal :(
    StephsReality StephsReality 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 9, 2014

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    Just got out of the hospital

    for depression, but not doing well. Can't stop the bad thoughts and just want the pain to end. There is literally no hope.
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake 22-25, F 8 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    I dont know if this qualifies

    as being Bipolar but I share ma body with "myself". Meaning- its like I have to make decisions but I fight with maself. And when I make up ma mind that I am sticking with that decision, I end up fighting with maself to not spoil it up. When I say I hate myself, sometimes I dont...
    Adridee Adridee 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 1

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    Aelfwynn Aelfwynn 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 2, 2014

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    Being the only person to care

    for a 4 & 6 yr old while in a mixed state makes me want to bash my head through a glass window.
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 2 Responses Jan 10

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...