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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,241 People

    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Today is a hard day due to weather.

    Thunderstorms eliminate outdoor activity. They also make me reflective and feel small. Mistakes and all those who have left my life hover around like ghosts; questioning, demanding, judging. Whispers of what could of been and will never be. I wish only for the sweet bliss of...
    Polis195 Polis195 36-40, M 2 Responses Jul 8

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    JuliaHiC JuliaHiC 22-25 5 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    Mine is usually sadness randomly hitting me.

    Some call it "bipolar depression" while others say that's not a real thing.. All I know is I wasn't thinking these dark thoughts earlier and they're real..
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    F..ck me! I'm in a serious mania episode!

    Hyper and extremely irritable! I hate this type! I like the happy hyper! guess it looks like my meds need fixed again! Ugh! I was warned it was a challenge getting on the right meds and it might never work out! I'm not like some that their mood swings are mild. Mine are at least...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 6 Responses Jun 28

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    I'm having really bad mood swings today.

    I've tried to strangle my sister last week because she accidentally elbowed me in the mouth. My medicine doesn't seem to be working. I feel like a monster who's only getting worse. My medicine doesn't help. I feel so helpless to my emotions.
    CandyandPanties CandyandPanties 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    From horribly sad. To horny.

    Or aroused. To sad. To amused. To baffled. To depressed. To amused. Should move to vegas. And let people place bets On next mood felt.
    Converted Converted 46-50, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    I am bipolar even while subconscious evidently.

    Last week I went in for my 1st colonoscopy and while I was hypo I thought that wouldn't be a problem. Except while hypo I am prone to fits of verbosity. According to the doc I babbled so much he couldn't concentrate and he had the anesthesiologist put me under more to quiet me...
    Golondrinas Golondrinas 51-55, M 1 Response Jul 20

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    Trying to slowly rebuild myself

    after a bit of a breakdown. Made plenty of mistakes but I'm trying very hard to learn from these and become the man I can be.
    Caoilin1 Caoilin1 36-40, M 2 Responses Jul 4

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 2, 2014

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    Caoilin1 Caoilin1 36-40, M 1 Response 21 hrs ago

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    Being bipolar doesn't automatically make you

    evil or violent. I am bipolar and I do not hit or hurt people when angry. My mood swings can be really bad but I know not to harm people around me, for I would feel 100x worse :( so when someone tells you the are bipolar, don't run away. How do you think that makes us feel...
    MellowKitten MellowKitten 18-21, F 6 Responses May 29

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    ...And I have come to a time in my life

    where I need to put my relationship and my whole life in the country I am living in on hold.... In order to go back home and start to heal :(. Knowing on the inside that it's probably the right thing to do doesn't make it any less painful. I love him... I will miss him... But it...
    Lariza898 Lariza898 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    I have absolutely no desire to get out of bed.

    I'm so fearful of going outside, maybe it's my social anxiety. I don't know what to do. No one understands me or takes my illness seriously, I feel so alone and incompetent. I can't even force myself to go outside and pick up my meds. I don't know if I can deal with this forever...
    StrangeDisaster StrangeDisaster 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 17

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    I just wanna lay in bed forever.

    . people think I'm super lazy
    halohai halohai 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 12

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    I've come to realize

    that when im not on my meds I can't think straight. I'm paranoid, I become slightly delusional, I dont interpret things right. Im a mess off my meds. Thankfully tomorrow ill get my meds! Any of u guys like this without ur mood stabilizer?
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I've always been a little off I guess.

    I don't know exactly when it started to show, but it was completely triggered when I went through a breakup with an emotionally abusive relationship. I did some crazy things, almost ended up dead. I got the help I needed, and am now come a long way, and am healing. I now take...
    AlwaysRestless AlwaysRestless 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 4

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 149 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    So, all my life I have been bipolar

    and it changes my mood significantly. It's like I have borderline multi personalities, because of how I act. My husband even agrees of how I am open to share my feelings and other times I hide them in. Being bipolar is no fun, because if someone yells at me, I either want to...
    Ildas56 Ildas56 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    Aagatha Aagatha 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 8

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    today went a little better

    as I got four hours sleep. physically better that is. my mind is still racing and it just won't stop. I'm at the point where I'll have to start self medicating soon just to sleep six hours. at some point this type of exhaustion combined with my state of mania will lead my...
    Polis195 Polis195 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 2

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    I M Bipolar

    Without medication i have racing speech, anxiety attacks, i wont sleep, and have lots of energy. I am taking meds and they are working for me. I go to a support group call DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) . I have friends that understand my mental illness. The...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 6 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    Greetings. I live in California

    and I have bipolar disorder. Was not diagnosed until age 47. One of these days, I promise to tell the full story of my diagnosis and recovery -- which is an ongoing process, not a finality nor will it ever be. Let me add that I have no problem with this type of identity in my...
    emperornorton47 emperornorton47 56-60, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 35 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    I was diagnosed manic-depressive in 1973,

    put on lithium and then a couple of other drugs which left me spacey with a 24/7 low level depression and robbed me of the soaring high. After a couple of years of trying different meds I gave up and flushed them until I graduated high school and left home. 40 years later I am...
    Golondrinas Golondrinas 51-55, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    I've been doing good

    but today I'm crawling. Bipolar disorder is a full time job, no one understands it expect others with a mood disorder. Families have empathy for physical illness. But when it comes to a mood disorder because your sick they just think your lazy. I am looking after a wife with...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 10

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    The two faces that have been fertilized inside

    me at a young age maybe around 9 or something I don't know. It started off mildly like almost any disease would, during the beginning of mental hell I was unusually moody and did some dumb stuff out of pure silliness, everyone thought it was just some case of daredevil boy but...
    QuietFreedom QuietFreedom 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 19

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    So I started skipping my antidepressant.

    I'm still on my stabilizer. Obviously one of the more common side effects that most don't talk about with some with some psychiatric meds is the s*xual ones. I was having those side effects. Antidepressants always do that to me. This time around I was on the generic of Lexapro...
    BeautifullySickkk BeautifullySickkk 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 20

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    stufy stufy 46-50 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    It's on days like this

    where I wonder whether I'll be able to break the cycles that I have and move forward, to be able to enjoy a more fulfilling life. It's been around a year since my last hospital admission for mania, which as per usual lead to full blown psychosis. After I came out I settled...
    SolitaryFriend SolitaryFriend 31-35, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I get very very high

    and then I crash. I hate when I crash.
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    Converted Converted 46-50, M 4 Responses Jun 24

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F Sep 7, 2014

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