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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,130 People

    Has anyone else become dependent on Benzos?

    I take Ativan... 3mg/day. I recently ran out and didn't realize how difficult it would be to get through the day without it.
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    But not beyond decent.

    Thanks to helpful people. Met hunting decent people. EP Link
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 10

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    The trouble everybody knows

    or thinks Im crazy and wants to lock me up. Things are going so good today. I know anywhere I go I will not be understood for being anything more than mad. It is so lonely when Im feel this way.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 10

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    JuliaHiC JuliaHiC 22-25 5 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    I Am Not Bipolar, I Have Bipolar

    I want to start by explaining my story title. If you have Diabetes you are not Diabetes, you have Diabetes. Similarly I am not Bipolar, I have Bipolar. My story starts when I was very young, so I have no idea if I was born with Bipolar, or just developed it later. I can...
    ManiacalTom ManiacalTom 31-35, M Sep 7, 2012

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    I am bipolar 1. This week I have been manic.

    Manic episodes are like a break from reality. But once the depression sets in my world just crumbles. The sky is not blue I see it as black. That is what I love about being bipolar! The high moods are the best part about it. I find with my medication it tappers off in the...
    xdarkangelx666 xdarkangelx666 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    I family is starting to get involved with my

    crisis. Funny how bad things come into Good things.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 9

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    It is humiliating. I am

    so ashamed of my mood swings. It takes away all confidence. One day I'm superwoman then I want to die. How I can I show face? How can I face the world? It's so embarrassing. I think I'd rather just stay depressed all the time then achieve some happiness just to come...
    stufy stufy 46-50 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I truly believe the problem with high rates of

    depression and bipolar disorder is Our food being GMOs. Due to the lack of nutrition in our food. Why do I get sick when I don't supplement. People wake up we are being made sick for the sack of profits. Label all GMOs or grow your own food.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 16

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    I was seeing psychiatrist

    that acted as a therapist for a few months and he seemed to believe that I have bipolar. I recently changed psychiatrists because I couldn't afford the other one. She put me on a mood stabilizer and ant psychotic based off of the other doctors diagnosis. I definitely experience...
    ddshaw ddshaw 18-21, F 2 Responses May 4

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    I see why I'm really sick,

    I stopped nutritional supplements and the sudden change made me sick. Solution get back to what was really working. All the meds were only working a half day. It just shows psychotropic medication is a ineffective solution.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 16

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    The doctors and therapist want to hospitalize me

    because I see and speak to spirits. I know they are not harm full so going to churches they tell me there demons. I don't believe this at all. The psychiatrist are the thought police not allowing me to believe what I feel is true. At least these spirits I don't feel alone take...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 10

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    Hi everyone, I just found this site.

    I am 28 and bipolar 2, with symptoms of hypomania, depression, and anxiety, and mixed mania. My anxiety attacks used to be crippling. I also have p.m.d.d., psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis, asthma, and fibromyalgia. Not a lot of people sympathize with my conditions, I am sure a...
    TheMeanReds28 TheMeanReds28 26-30, F 2 Responses May 9

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    Is it normal to be on 3 different meds?

    The doctor said 1 (amitriptyline) is for sleep and then I'm taking 5mg Abilify and 300mg Valproic acid. I don't like taking medicine. I'm really hoping I won't have to stay on it long term, but everything I read says that for bipolar you have keep taking it. Has anyone ever...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 7 Responses Apr 24

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    Acceptance

    I am a diagnosed BiPolar II. And also dual diagnosis with many other associated types of dissorders, anxiety-panic-border personality-etc.    I was diagnosed at 16 but went off meds at about 18. I am now 31 and only last year have sought help for these issues. Am...
    KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    People say I'm dangerous.

    This just plain ignorance and stigma. I suffer so much pain why would I inflect pain on others. Pain is seeing people hurt that don't deserve it.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 15

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    Being a Bipolar Student

    I have been officially diagnosed as being Bipolar I for a little over three years. As I have gotten older my symptoms and cycles have continually progressed and become more difficult to control or recognize. Luckily, I have an amazingly supportive family, and I have been...
    themanicmind themanicmind 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 2, 2009

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 151 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    I was hospitalized for the red flags signs of

    suicide. The police had to escort me to the hospital. After accessed I was later released. I am ashamed to be this way. The problem was the need that the police had to detain me for my safety. The police were very kind with me. I started crying when he told me he had guns...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 8

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Today is a bad day, I woke up feeling very empty

    and my head was so fuzzy. I have absolutely no energy and can't see the good in anything right now. I have so much work to do and I can't seem to type properly and most of my sentences need to be retyped because they don't make sense. I don't want to be around others but i'm...
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 30

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    So an update on my bipolar

    and meds. I was having small ups and downs. but what bothered me more were the lows. I had gotten up to 900mgs (3x 300mgs a day) of trilepital. up to 200mg of trazodone for sleeping and 20mgs lexapro. the only thing thats changed is my trilepital. im now up to 1200mgs (4x...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 2 Responses May 12

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    Bipolar, But Without The Fun

    I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is...
    shygrl85 shygrl85 22-25, F 14 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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    Hi, I'm a 21 year old medical student living

    abroad, I was diagnosed with bipolar nearly 3 years ago, and before that I struggled a lot. I let it get quite far before my family told me to seek medical help, and finally gave me the courage to take a step forward. I've dealt with severe depression and bipolar for as long as...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Apr 26

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    I got my diagnosis today.

    Bipolar with psychosis and mixed episodes. I already knew it anyway. But they won't help me. No meds, months until I can see a psychologist. I'm pissed of that because I'm educated they think I'm not in pain. They think I can just deal with it on my own. Well okay then, but I'm...
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 1 Response May 5

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    My moods switch quickly I can go from laughing

    to crying to screaming real quick. For a example yesterday my ex called me a B**** and I started laughing then next thing you know I was throwing him out my house and crying.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 7

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    I get very very high

    and then I crash. I hate when I crash.
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    I recently started outpatient therapy in an

    adolescence mental hospital. I left my former therapist for this and was pretty nervous to meet my new therapist. I've already done a bunch of personality tests and intelligence tests but I hadn't had an actual therapy session at this "hospital". So this Thursday me and my mum...
    littlebird88 littlebird88 13-15, F May 1

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    Manic episode just came to a screeching halt.

    ..WTF do I do?? People are being so distant! More like WTF did I do? I have no self confidence & can't take it much longer! Help!
    IrisRays IrisRays 36-40, F 4 Responses Dec 19, 2014

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    I M Bipolar

    Without medication i have racing speech, anxiety attacks, i wont sleep, and have lots of energy. I am taking meds and they are working for me. I go to a support group call DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) . I have friends that understand my mental illness. The...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 8 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    my depression is out of control.

    my dr gave me a new med to add to the cocktail of meds I take but the insurance is holding it up. im like a f*cking storm tonight destroying everything in my path. ugh!
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    I wasn't feeling like myself this past year.

    ..my world felt like it was falling apart, but at the same time it all made sense. It was the most confusing time of my life to say the least. A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with manic depressive disorder aka bipolar. I'm on meds for it now and they seem to be helping, but my...
    sheviteija sheviteija 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 27

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5

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    Ok I think I'm manic

    because I've been pacing a lot lately and I've been wanting to drink. I also just took 3 and a half times the normal dosage of ADHD meds so they're gonna kick in soon. I'm worried about myself when I start doing these reckless things. I feel like there are no consequences to...
    punicorn1 punicorn1 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    So much better today.

    Just simple getting kind family support and medication made such a difference. The community support and the recovery skills Ive learned for many years of having bipolar have all benefits in combinations. What Ive learned about bipolar is all these combinations of things, not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 9

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 34 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    ThatOneNerdGirl ThatOneNerdGirl 16-17, F 2 Responses May 15

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 24

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    I my wife and I went to her therapist

    and she told her she must leave me. She said because I was suicidal I was possibly violent. I am getting rid of my and her therapist because of this. I am also getting rid of my therapist about this too. If anyone knows me I am a kind loving man that would not harm my wife or...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 13

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    Aelfwynn Aelfwynn 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 2, 2014

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    stufy stufy 46-50 1 Response May 26, 2014

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