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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,087 People

    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    I my wife and I went to her therapist

    and she told her she must leave me. She said because I was suicidal I was possibly violent. I am getting rid of my and her therapist because of this. I am also getting rid of my therapist about this too. If anyone knows me I am a kind loving man that would not harm my wife or...
    grgbyce968 grgbyce968 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 13

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    Aelfwynn Aelfwynn 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 2, 2014

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    I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 last

    month. I always knew I had emotional/anger issues, and I can also be a really excitable hyper positive person... But I was kind of surprised at the diagnosis. Has anyone ever been diagnosed like me and wasn't expecting that diagnosis?
    beebeexoxox beebeexoxox 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    I am having mixed moods

    and I out of contrl
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 29

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 24

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    stufy stufy 46-50 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    I feel like I am screaming

    and no one hears. This hollow is so deep dark and never-ending. What future can Be before me Whos hand will I hold. Where is the manuel for this rollercoaster The highs and lows truly govern my life. The unanswered questions The rejection of the ones you love Hurts more...
    complex7 complex7 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake 22-25, F 8 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    I family is starting to get involved with my

    crisis. Funny how bad things come into Good things.
    grgbyce968 grgbyce968 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 9

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    Bipolar, But Without The Fun

    I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is...
    shygrl85 shygrl85 22-25, F 14 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 27

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    Bipolar one disorder

    and depression. Been like this for as long as I can remember, I've learned that keeping a journal really helps.
    inloveandeath inloveandeath 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    I truly believe the problem with high rates of

    depression and bipolar disorder is Our food being GMOs. Due to the lack of nutrition in our food. Why do I get sick when I don't supplement. People wake up we are being made sick for the sack of profits. Label all GMOs or grow your own food.
    grgbyce968 grgbyce968 56-60, M 3 Responses Apr 16

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    I Am Not Bipolar, I Have Bipolar

    I want to start by explaining my story title. If you have Diabetes you are not Diabetes, you have Diabetes. Similarly I am not Bipolar, I have Bipolar. My story starts when I was very young, so I have no idea if I was born with Bipolar, or just developed it later. I can...
    ManiacalTom ManiacalTom 31-35, M Sep 7, 2012

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    Mania to depressed and back rapid cycling can't

    get any sleep. The cycling all today and going mad
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 5

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    I see why I'm really sick,

    I stopped nutritional supplements and the sudden change made me sick. Solution get back to what was really working. All the meds were only working a half day. It just shows psychotropic medication is a ineffective solution.
    grgbyce968 grgbyce968 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 16

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    my depression is out of control.

    my dr gave me a new med to add to the cocktail of meds I take but the insurance is holding it up. im like a f*cking storm tonight destroying everything in my path. ugh!
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 10

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 151 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    I am no longer am going to let people make feel

    bad about bipolar. I and poor of and love men and women who have lived successfully with it. There is so much a pain that we know the only way is to release it and move on. We can be the kindest gentlest people. Can't stand the stigma out there and people thinking that they are...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 30

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 34 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    The trouble everybody knows

    or thinks Im crazy and wants to lock me up. Things are going so good today. I know anywhere I go I will not be understood for being anything more than mad. It is so lonely when Im feel this way.
    grgbyce968 grgbyce968 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 10

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    The doctors and therapist want to hospitalize me

    because I see and speak to spirits. I know they are not harm full so going to churches they tell me there demons. I don't believe this at all. The psychiatrist are the thought police not allowing me to believe what I feel is true. At least these spirits I don't feel alone take...
    grgbyce968 grgbyce968 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 10

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    Is it normal to be on 3 different meds?

    The doctor said 1 (amitriptyline) is for sleep and then I'm taking 5mg Abilify and 300mg Valproic acid. I don't like taking medicine. I'm really hoping I won't have to stay on it long term, but everything I read says that for bipolar you have keep taking it. Has anyone ever...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Acceptance

    I am a diagnosed BiPolar II. And also dual diagnosis with many other associated types of dissorders, anxiety-panic-border personality-etc.    I was diagnosed at 16 but went off meds at about 18. I am now 31 and only last year have sought help for these issues. Am...
    KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    The Gifts Of Bipolar

    What is the nature of disability? What does the idea mean? It is a statistical concept, I think. Which is to say, it is a measure of comparison. We can only be “disabled” in comparison to a group of others who have more ability on this particular measure. Everyone can be...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 13 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    So much better today.

    Just simple getting kind family support and medication made such a difference. The community support and the recovery skills Ive learned for many years of having bipolar have all benefits in combinations. What Ive learned about bipolar is all these combinations of things, not...
    grgbyce968 grgbyce968 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 9

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    I've been off my meds

    and been doing crazy things.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 30

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    I was hospitalized for the red flags signs of

    suicide. The police had to escort me to the hospital. After accessed I was later released. I am ashamed to be this way. The problem was the need that the police had to detain me for my safety. The police were very kind with me. I started crying when he told me he had guns...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 8

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    Not go today another scammer approached me I

    hadn't taken my meds and I to them the big F off
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3

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    My family doesn't understand me.

    Everybody I feel close has bipolar disorder. They are the only people that understands me. In truth they are my brothers and my sisters.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 2

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    I M Bipolar

    Without medication i have racing speech, anxiety attacks, i wont sleep, and have lots of energy. I am taking meds and they are working for me. I go to a support group call DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) . I have friends that understand my mental illness. The...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 8 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    But not beyond decent.

    Thanks to helpful people. Met hunting decent people. EP Link
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 10

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    Don't ever feel good enough to have my gf.

    It's like a dark cloud that I can't escape no matter how hard I try. Even on medication I still get this feeling
    HarrySavage96 HarrySavage96 18-21, M Mar 22

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    Being a Bipolar Student

    I have been officially diagnosed as being Bipolar I for a little over three years. As I have gotten older my symptoms and cycles have continually progressed and become more difficult to control or recognize. Luckily, I have an amazingly supportive family, and I have been...
    themanicmind themanicmind 22-25, F 12 Responses Mar 2, 2009

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 5