I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,433 People

    Lotusflower80 Lotusflower80
    36-40, F
    11 Responses Aug 25, 2015

    F..ck me! I'm in a serious mania episode!

    Hyper and extremely irritable! I hate this type! I like the happy hyper! guess it looks like my meds need fixed again! Ugh! I was warned it was a challenge getting on the right meds and it might never work out! I'm not like some that their mood swings are mild. Mine are at least...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jun 28, 2015

    I've been doing good

    but today I'm crawling. Bipolar disorder is a full time job, no one understands it expect others with a mood disorder. Families have empathy for physical illness. But when it comes to a mood disorder because your sick they just think your lazy. I am looking after a wife with...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Jul 10, 2015

    I've been married to a guy I know just

    for two days and we were married for a week. it was like a nice time of doing weird things as smoking marijuana, writing poems and having "fun". there was a moment when I almost died, I was crossing the street and car was driving right at me and I was like "this car is gonna hit...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 21

    The Gifts Of Bipolar

    What is the nature of disability? What does the idea mean? It is a statistical concept, I think. Which is to say, it is a measure of comparison. We can only be “disabled” in comparison to a group of others who have more ability on this particular measure. Everyone can be...
    wundayatta wundayatta
    56-60, M
    13 Responses Feb 21, 2012

    What if one morning you woke up,

    and you already made this decision to kill yourself after school. You feel depressed and like no one really loves you. You don't know why you feel this way but you think your turning on yourself. And the hours later, out of no where your depressing thoughts turn into happy...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 16

    Those of you who are on anti convulsants

    as a mood stabilizer. (seizure meds) Do you find that if ur off with a dose or two you start getting very unstable with ur temper? I find that if I do that. I start getting very irritable and snappy at ppl. It takes me like 3 doses to kick it an go back to a more calm mood. The...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Aug 18, 2015

    I can't love anyone anymore.

    my feelings change so quickly. I'm destined to be alone
    leftvan leftvan
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Mar 8

    I was going to send this to my exAP

    but decided that wasn't a good idea. We email as friends but I don't want to feel too close to him or him too close to me right now. Man why am I feeling lost today! I have my day planned out from 11am on so I'm trying not to feel guilty that I just got back in bed. I can't...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 8

    I feel I am being persecuted.

    Someone reported me for fraud. I am not guilty of it. The ssa paid me provisional SSI for 6 months but that ran out in February. They have yet to make a determination about continuing my benefits. I am about to lose my house. I don't know where to turn.
    Bipolarnut Bipolarnut
    41-45
    1 Response Apr 13

    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud
    26-30, F
    Oct 2, 2014

    I was diagnosed 25 years ago,

    and to be honest, idgaf if people think I'm crazy. If you suffer with what people think because of it, then you're letting their opinions win. A wise man, (my Dad), once told me this: "Opinions are like ********. Everyone has one, and some of them stink!" Keep going. Research...
    ZenLioNESS719 ZenLioNESS719
    46-50, F
    7 Responses Dec 22, 2015

    I was bipolar but found a natural treatment

    and got off the medication. I'm lost 130 pounds. I'm never depressed but can't stop talking. One lesson that I've learned stay away from shrinks. They are only out for money. Lie and tell you that you'll never be well. You won't taking chemicals that is addictive and shortens...
    equinereiki equinereiki
    61-65, M
    Apr 4

    I don't know if I'm bipolar

    or adhd mixed with some light scale autism.
    mercedes810 mercedes810
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Mar 8
    jasminesworld jasminesworld
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 2

    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny
    70+, F
    Nov 2, 2014

    I haven't been on medication

    for about a year. I like not having to take meds everyday. It's gets kind of hard sometimes. Mostly the depression part. Like there are days where I can't imagine doing anything but sleeping. Mental illnesses are so frustrating because even if you're not physically restricted...
    churchdadatnight churchdadatnight
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jan 12

    I had a bad day. I have been fighting it

    for about 3 days, but today it won. I didn't even realize until now that I had run out of pills. Shows how happy and lifted I was? A week when by without taking tryptophan and I don't even notice. Pretty odd. That's usually when you fail though right? When you feel good? Your...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 21

    my anger is starting to rise i can feel it

    creeping up on me. i try to control it. but i can always tell when my bipolar os going to be bad. any advice? i hate being bipolar.
    penpalwriter penpalwriter
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Feb 16

    Tonight is a really hard night.

    I'm triggered to do everything in the book for some reason. I don't know if it's just the depression or a major mood swing, but I'm hoping I can get through tonight. Hearts beating fast, crying, breathing fast and heavy, headache, terrible thoughts and a feeling of dread and...
    cconstellations cconstellations
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Feb 14

    A close friend of mine passed away,

    I heard another friend of mine was in the hospital, though I couldn't get much information about that, and I upset my best friend, all of which was just making me want to die. But this was a different better crisis center than the one I had gone to before. It turned out well for...
    KittySoules KittySoules
    22-25, T
    Mar 22

    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 5, 2015

    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

    Did any of you notice that

    once u got on the right cocktail of meds your once through the roof s_x drive became "normal"???
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Aug 26, 2015

    this never ending loop of being ill

    and reaching out for help, hoping, begging for something to work. What will make my life stable, predictable, bearable?
    Ennah Ennah
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Apr 6

    Please someone talk to me.

    I really need a friend. I'm sick of living like this. I don't want to do this for the rest of my life, can't control myself, can't control my emotions, I explode on people, they resent me - if only they knew, inside my head, the demons that exist. They beat me up, they laugh at...
    happycupcake happycupcake
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Nov 17, 2014

    I recently went to the doctor

    for help. I have known I have bipolar for a while but wanted to try to manage it on my own. I recently started on a medication and I am able to be myself again. To anyone feeling hopeless lost confused anyone stuck in a loop completely obsessed unable to focus hyper focused...
    princesskodama princesskodama
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 22

    Update: so I woke back up around 10am,

    still wanting to stay in bed but, I knew I had to fight it. I have my list near my bed of things I must do in order to stay up and the most important is to take all my pills, especially the Kratom. It took me a few minutes but I made it out to the living room and took my Kratom...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Dec 6, 2015

    I am so at my end with my sister.

    she is mad and feels sorry for herself. but she takes most things out at me. I'm ready just to go off. I'm sick and tried of play peace maker with all of my family. it's like grow up. I just wish God was ready to take me.
    penpalwriter penpalwriter
    41-45, F
    Apr 7

    It's hard having bipolar one moment you can be

    fine the next you're either sad or angry . I just wish people would try to understand us with mental illness . Nice I'm crying earlier I was mad and upset .
    unlovedbbw3085 unlovedbbw3085
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Oct 26, 2015

    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays
    31-35, F
    Sep 7, 2014

    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    JuliaHiC JuliaHiC
    22-25
    3 Responses Sep 18, 2014

    I have absolutely no desire to get out of bed.

    I'm so fearful of going outside, maybe it's my social anxiety. I don't know what to do. No one understands me or takes my illness seriously, I feel so alone and incompetent. I can't even force myself to go outside and pick up my meds. I don't know if I can deal with this forever...
    StrangeDisaster StrangeDisaster
    22-25, F
    7 Responses Jul 17, 2015

    I am bipolar 1. This week I have been manic.

    Manic episodes are like a break from reality. But once the depression sets in my world just crumbles. The sky is not blue I see it as black. That is what I love about being bipolar! The high moods are the best part about it. I find with my medication it tappers off in the...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 28, 2015
    mellowwwave mellowwwave
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 15, 2014

    Today has been good so far.

    I've only been a little stressed because it's gonna be a long day at school. But who isn't stressed at school, right? I'm hoping today I stay calm and collected because it feels really good to be at a normal state. I hope you guys are having a good day today!
    cconstellations cconstellations
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 15
    Lotusflower80 Lotusflower80
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 6, 2015

    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood
    31-35, F
    147 Responses Jun 6, 2010

    that time of the month my mood gos way left .

    ... im not bipolar but try telling my boyfriend that
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Mar 11

    My partner is just as affected by my mood swings

    as I am. On my happy days I don't see a problem with him or is. On my bad days all I can think about is what's wrong with us. That he's not the one. The feeling of wanting to be single and explore the world never goes away. Other girls post pictures and words saying how much...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Feb 22

    I need help/advice. I'm

    so ready to explode. my anger is getting the best of me and I am scared I'm just going to go off.
    penpalwriter penpalwriter
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Mar 10

    I have been diagnosed with this

    for years and I am tired of changing my medications a thousand times and feeling like ****. The worst part is no matter how hard you try to be like everybody else it is impossible and no one wants you.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 17
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response May 20, 2015

    It's on days like this

    where I wonder whether I'll be able to break the cycles that I have and move forward, to be able to enjoy a more fulfilling life. It's been around a year since my last hospital admission for mania, which as per usual lead to full blown psychosis. After I came out I settled...
    SolitaryFriend SolitaryFriend
    36-40, M
    4 Responses Jul 24, 2015

    I couldn't handle the negative energy from my

    restaurant job so I took a chance and quit. They weren't happy and treated me like ****. I wasn't happy there. Every shift I dreaded going. That place was emotionally killing me. No need for Plan B, it only takes away from Plan A. Time to step it up or sink.
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Mar 12

    I think if I take this nap I'll be ok,

    as if it were a reset button of some sort. I got hit with that overwhelmed feeling. So much going on in my brain, but when I try to accomplish one task I can't think of anything to do so I'm stuck. Before I let it completely take over, I left work, which I'm allowed to do, with...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 12

    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb
    18-21
    35 Responses Apr 28, 2009

    Being bipolar doesn't automatically make you

    evil or violent. I am bipolar and I do not hit or hurt people when angry. My mood swings can be really bad but I know not to harm people around me, for I would feel 100x worse :( so when someone tells you the are bipolar, don't run away. How do you think that makes us feel...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    18-21, F
    4 Responses May 29, 2015

    It has been a good few months,

    I have managed to keep my head above water and swim and everytime dark thoughts come and my mood drops I ll do 100 different thigs to dodge the bullet. The thing is I m not only really tired, but these past few weeks many people in conversations with me were like "you are such...
    ladymerylin ladymerylin
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Feb 15

    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Jan 24, 2015

    Has anyone tried Haloperidol/serenace?

    The Dr gave it to me for insomnia. Does it work for insomnia?
    Lornyjane Lornyjane
    41-45
    Mar 30

    I hate Bipolar disorder.

    It's awesome!
    ZenLioNESS719 ZenLioNESS719
    46-50, F
    9 Responses Jan 8

    I feel as if depression has taken the best part

    of me and each time I try to take it back I dig further down in the deep allconsuming darkness. Like a broken toy nobody wants to play with anymore I walk day in and day out wanting to feel great again, alive, like myself... Will there ever be an end to all the suffering? Will I...
    Ennah Ennah
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 5

    I'm very mad right now.

    my sister feels like her life is over because a guy she really likes didn't text her back. now she feeling very sorry for her self. yet the guy is married. yes he likes her back. but the thing is that he knows she will wait for him. I told her why you going to wait for him. the...
    penpalwriter penpalwriter
    41-45, F
    Apr 11

    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Jan 22, 2015
    caligurl3085 caligurl3085
    26-30, F
    Mar 26

    I am feeling really down.

    I went in front of a judge today for my ssi. yes I got it, but before I felt like the Doctor might say hey your not bipolar anymore. now I know it's real. something is truly wrong with me and everyone knows it.
    penpalwriter penpalwriter
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 16

    I've been struggling a lot reacently

    and have neglected my account and basically I'm sorry 💖
    LuiGina LuiGina
    13-15, F
    1 Response Mar 7

    I recently researched a gout treatment

    for my partner & found out the herb Saffron increases the Seratonin level in the brain & it may soon be used to treat depression. I bought 180 capsules online for $20 delivered. I thought it'd be worth a try
    Lornyjane Lornyjane
    41-45
    Apr 6
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