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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,048 People

    I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1 last

    month. I always knew I had emotional/anger issues, and I can also be a really excitable hyper positive person... But I was kind of surprised at the diagnosis. Has anyone ever been diagnosed like me and wasn't expecting that diagnosis?
    beebeexoxox beebeexoxox 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Don't ever feel good enough to have my gf.

    It's like a dark cloud that I can't escape no matter how hard I try. Even on medication I still get this feeling
    HarrySavage96 HarrySavage96 18-21, M 5 days ago

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    It's like a war in my head.

    ..i start being suicidal and then fir no reason i switch to a hyperactive state ...idk what the hell is going on...idk who i am....
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 18

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    The Gifts Of Bipolar

    What is the nature of disability? What does the idea mean? It is a statistical concept, I think. Which is to say, it is a measure of comparison. We can only be “disabled” in comparison to a group of others who have more ability on this particular measure. Everyone can be...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 13 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    I am getting treatment

    for possible bipolar disorder after a second extremely depressive episode inside of a year. The thing is.. my psychiatrist said that he is not ready to make a diagnosis yet, so who knows if I really am. He put me on 150mg and now 300mg Lithium Carbonate, all I notice is it makes...
    TheRedsGoMarchingIn TheRedsGoMarchingIn 18-21, M 6 Responses Feb 18

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    Well the new meds they put me on had a very

    serious side effect, extreme excessive thirst. Which if I didnt retain fluid and took it off like a normal person it would be no big deal. But I have slight heart damage. It makes me retain fluid some. With the meds I was drinking 3-4x the normal amount. I gained 34lbs in a week...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 7

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 151 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    Does anyone take lamictil?

    I upped my dose to 100 mg a week ago and I have been having crying spells everyday and so depressed I don't want to get out of bed. I have been told by many to give it time and I have also heard the drug has worked wonders I just want other peoples experiences.
    final666 final666 22-25, F 5 days ago

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    Any advice to someone

    who was recently diagnosed? The medication the pschiatrist prescribed me aren't working after 2 months even though the doctor said it should work after 1. Thankfully the bad depression only lasted 3 weeks this time. I went from really happy, talkative, creative, silly (sure...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 16

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    Acceptance

    I am a diagnosed BiPolar II. And also dual diagnosis with many other associated types of dissorders, anxiety-panic-border personality-etc.    I was diagnosed at 16 but went off meds at about 18. I am now 31 and only last year have sought help for these issues. Am...
    KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    I've hit my low point again I don't think it's

    been this bad in a while Every time I'm alone I start crying I'm losing my head right now I can't take this anymore
    LuiGina LuiGina 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 11

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    I was diagnosed with BP-NOS.

    My story starts when I was eighteen. I went to an out-of-state university on a full scholarship. I was in the top ten of my class and I had a bright future ahead of myself. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon. I wanted to be the first person in my family to graduate from college. Two...
    InsaneFlowerGirl InsaneFlowerGirl 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 1

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F Sep 7, 2014

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    I'm starting to believe

    that the doctor might be right about me having bipolar disorder. I had a really good 3 weeks and then today I crashed for no reason. I hadn't been suicidal or wanted to hurt myself. I was creative and happy. I was social. Now I keep thinking "I wish I were dead" and I hate when...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    I Am Not Bipolar, I Have Bipolar

    I want to start by explaining my story title. If you have Diabetes you are not Diabetes, you have Diabetes. Similarly I am not Bipolar, I have Bipolar. My story starts when I was very young, so I have no idea if I was born with Bipolar, or just developed it later. I can...
    ManiacalTom ManiacalTom 31-35, M Sep 7, 2012

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    Woke up berating myself

    for choices made years and years ago. Things that would have changed everything or nothing about who I am now. Calling myself names, feeling like an idiot and and a loser and hating myself for every misstep, mistake and stupid choice I ever made. I haven't even had coffee yet, I...
    omgwut omgwut 41-45, M 2 Responses Mar 13

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    I am bi-polar 1 with anxiety disorder

    as well. Does anyone else have Anxiety disorder along with Bi-polar? My mania triggers my anxiety and causes me to hyperventilate. I also have OCD. It's crippling at times.
    Mulhollandrive Mulhollandrive 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 18

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    My Mother Claims That I'm Just Slavic.

    My mom's 100% Polish.  She says that Slavs just have mood swings.  I think I'm bipolar, but she doesn't believe in psychological illnesses.  I know that I'm old enough to go to a doctor and get diagnosed for myself, but I still live under my parents' thumbs while...
    Chanteuse1984 Chanteuse1984 26-30, F 10 Responses Jun 6, 2007

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    Honestly I have no idea

    if I am ...I just know that sth is wrong. Every few months I just get really depressed for at least a week or two. I have no idea what triggers it , it just happens and I start feeling worthless, alone, tired of life and helpless. Those days I feel like everyday I m just...
    ladymerylin ladymerylin 18-21, F Feb 13

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    And I wish I could change it.

    There is still so much to understand. The guilt of pain caused. Wanting to run and hide. Seeing it unfold before your eyes and can't stop. If the white lab coats really cared they should speak the truth. We are not a forgotten people. Dented pride in actions of loved...
    complex7 complex7 31-35, F 5 Responses Mar 18

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    Bipolar is not psychotic I was first diagnosed

    with just depression & anxiety when i left home for college. Got on antidepressant meds. Didnt stay consistent with the meds til i was older. Once the meds were making steady improvement my new doctor thought i was having mania symptoms because i talked about some unrealistic...
    stufy stufy 46-50 1 Response May 26, 2014

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    Yesterday. Was a sad day

    for me. Finding out that I'm bipolar. Know everyone thinks it's a mental disorder. Was the hardest part.to know that it would be impossible for me to even TRY to normal... Because if someone found out. They would look at me like I'm i special needs person. And whisper to other...
    brokendreamsbrokenhearts brokendreamsbrokenhearts 16-17, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 6

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    I am on medication called abilify

    and it has really helped with my highs but I still get negative thoughts about myself saying to hurt myself and I don't know what to do
    HarrySavage96 HarrySavage96 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 6

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    Bipolar, But Without The Fun

    I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is...
    shygrl85 shygrl85 22-25, F 14 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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    Bring on the trauma triggered tidal waves of ups

    and downs. This is gonna suck...as though naturally flying high and crashing isn't hard enough...lets add a devastating family breakup to the mix. I just want to destroy everything in my path and hide in a dark hole at the same time.
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 3 Responses Feb 27

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    Rapid cycler variety.

    Med resistant too. Made worse by seroquel.
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 17

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    i have moodswings that are not normal

    and one day when some kid bothered me about my shoes i almost killed him and then i suddenly turned manic with happiness of what i've done and when i saw people trying to help him i was so depressed i started cutting.... my mom took me to the doctor and they found out i am...
    stella2b3 stella2b3 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 28

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    Manic episode just came to a screeching halt.

    ..WTF do I do?? People are being so distant! More like WTF did I do? I have no self confidence & can't take it much longer! Help!
    IrisRays IrisRays 36-40, F 4 Responses Dec 19, 2014

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    So my bipolar meds are working really well.

    I've been on them for 2 months now I think it is, maybe 3. Much more calm not aggressive anymore. I'm much more laid back and easy going. I don't seem to have the mood swings like I was having. My only problem is just feeling depressed. But that might be because for about a week...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 19

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    It'S Who I Am !

    Learned I was bipolar about 3yrs ago I'm very different as I allways knew but sorta good way. I will try to make anyone laugh smile fit in. I'm prolly to open with life I will spill my guts to whoever will listen. I will try to find the good in anyone till prove me wrong. I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 34 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    It feels like i´m 2 different people bottled

    inside on a single body....i feel depressed 50% of the time and in the other 50% i just feel angry,sadistic and crazy....
    anderlr anderlr 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 13

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 24

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 5

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    Well I never thought I would be here.

    But I am. In the start of this year I had a depression episode that scared me so bad. So I turned to my parents finally and ask to go to the doctors. Turns out, I am Bipolar. Ever since I turned 5 I knew there was something wrong with me. I felt like I was two different sides...
    AllTheEmotions AllTheEmotions 18-21, M 3 days ago

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Ever since I took my new doctor's advise

    and stopped smoking, my life hasn't been amusing as it was. I stopped talking to most of my friends, I stopped having sex, I even sold my late driver's house. Soon after that, I became a total nut case! Thinking about what I did in the past and how I've ruined so many lives...
    InnocentPigeon InnocentPigeon 70+ Mar 7

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    what is everyone's mixed episodes like?

    mine are absolutely horrible. I get extremely agitated and I don't wanna be touched at all by anything or anyone or else I go insane. sometimes if its bad enough self harm plays a role. I see things that need to be cleaned but I don't have the energy to do them. at the same time...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 4 Responses