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I Am Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,144 People

    Bipolar, But Without The Fun

    I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II, which they tell me is bipolar with only mild mania, but deeper depressions. Who knows if that's what I truly am, I've been misdiagnosed so many times, but it seems true. I've been coming down from a slight manic run, and the depression is...
    shygrl85 shygrl85 22-25, F 14 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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    I was recently diagnosed with this disorder.

    I guess I've had it for a while, but the symptoms did not match until recently. I made many risky decisions during my manic stages, like spending too much money, when I am normally very frugal, and I thought I was invincible. Now I am in the "mixed stage". I am not super...
    JuliaHiC JuliaHiC 22-25 5 Responses Sep 18, 2014

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    I am bipolar 1. This week I have been manic.

    Manic episodes are like a break from reality. But once the depression sets in my world just crumbles. The sky is not blue I see it as black. That is what I love about being bipolar! The high moods are the best part about it. I find with my medication it tappers off in the...
    xdarkangelx666 xdarkangelx666 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    Hi everyone, I just found this site.

    I am 28 and bipolar 2, with symptoms of hypomania, depression, and anxiety, and mixed mania. My anxiety attacks used to be crippling. I also have p.m.d.d., psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis, asthma, and fibromyalgia. Not a lot of people sympathize with my conditions, I am sure a...
    TheMeanReds28 TheMeanReds28 26-30, F 2 Responses May 9

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    ThatOneNerdGirl ThatOneNerdGirl 16-17, F 2 Responses May 15

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    I'm in the hospital now

    because my symptoms got too out of control to manage. I was diagnosed in October 2013 and started lithium. A month later I started on my anti-psychotic, risperidone. These were the only two meds I was taking until I went through a period of depression so bad that I ended up in...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    I was seeing psychiatrist

    that acted as a therapist for a few months and he seemed to believe that I have bipolar. I recently changed psychiatrists because I couldn't afford the other one. She put me on a mood stabilizer and ant psychotic based off of the other doctors diagnosis. I definitely experience...
    ddshaw ddshaw 18-21, F 2 Responses May 4

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    People say I'm dangerous.

    This just plain ignorance and stigma. I suffer so much pain why would I inflect pain on others. Pain is seeing people hurt that don't deserve it.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 15

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    It is humiliating. I am

    so ashamed of my mood swings. It takes away all confidence. One day I'm superwoman then I want to die. How I can I show face? How can I face the world? It's so embarrassing. I think I'd rather just stay depressed all the time then achieve some happiness just to come...
    stufy stufy 46-50 4 Responses May 23

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    I Have an Illness One you cannot see - it's

    invisible unless you know where to look One you cannot hear - unless you listen very closely One you cannot feel - unless you truly know the person who's suffering or have been there yourself I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety back in 2009, then bipolar...
    Aelfwynn Aelfwynn 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 2, 2014

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    But not beyond decent.

    Thanks to helpful people. Met hunting decent people. EP Link
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 10

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    So its been 6 days that I've been on my meds.

    I feel amazing. No more rage, no more depression, no more mania (feeling like im so damn hyper and ready to go jump off a building for fun). I feel so calm. I can think more clearly. I can concentrate. Things dont bother me like they use to. Its just crazy how much a difference...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 24

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    Wish My Brain Would Shut The Hell Up!

    Yep...i'm bipolar.  Bipolar 1, manic depressive if we want to get clinical.  It royally sucks.  Can't really put a sugar coating on what it is.  I was diagnosed right before I started a 2 year prison sentence.  I'd embezzled mass amounts of money from a company I had worked...
    m2extreme m2extreme 31-35, F 13 Responses Apr 26, 2011

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    I wasn't feeling like myself this past year.

    ..my world felt like it was falling apart, but at the same time it all made sense. It was the most confusing time of my life to say the least. A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with manic depressive disorder aka bipolar. I'm on meds for it now and they seem to be helping, but my...
    sheviteija sheviteija 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 27

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    One minute I want to run in a field of flowers,

    the next I want to put a bullet through my head... it ruins anything and everything. I'm incapable of happiness.. at first I felt I needed to hide myself away from everyone because of it now I'm just antisocial, it seems like every time I try to do what I think is right it turns...
    Britt4ny Britt4ny 70+, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    Bipolar Bares All! Film At 11:00!

    I'm Bipolar all right, I certainly don't make a secret of it.  I wrote a memoir of Manic Depression which I continue to flog with the annoying insistence of a child tugging on a parent's pant leg.  I've lectured on it at universities and medical schools.  I've...
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 12 Responses Jul 12, 2007

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    I got my diagnosis today.

    Bipolar with psychosis and mixed episodes. I already knew it anyway. But they won't help me. No meds, months until I can see a psychologist. I'm pissed of that because I'm educated they think I'm not in pain. They think I can just deal with it on my own. Well okay then, but I'm...
    animamia animamia 31-35, F 1 Response May 5

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    My moods switch quickly I can go from laughing

    to crying to screaming real quick. For a example yesterday my ex called me a B**** and I started laughing then next thing you know I was throwing him out my house and crying.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 7

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    La-la-love Latuda! I truly

    and honestly believed that I was never going to get better. I had had success with Lamictal and Geodon as far as controlling the mania and mixed episodes, but I still suffered from totally and completely crippling depression and anxiety. We had tried everything short of ECT...
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    Today is a bad day, I woke up feeling very empty

    and my head was so fuzzy. I have absolutely no energy and can't see the good in anything right now. I have so much work to do and I can't seem to type properly and most of my sentences need to be retyped because they don't make sense. I don't want to be around others but i'm...
    Tilly95 Tilly95 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 30

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    a lot of times i wonder

    if being bipolar is really a disorder that results from an imbalance or mal-absorption of chemicals in the brain, or if its just a result of stress and life and part of my personality...
    peaceinmiles peaceinmiles 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I recently started outpatient therapy in an

    adolescence mental hospital. I left my former therapist for this and was pretty nervous to meet my new therapist. I've already done a bunch of personality tests and intelligence tests but I hadn't had an actual therapy session at this "hospital". So this Thursday me and my mum...
    littlebird88 littlebird88 13-15, F May 1

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    I truly HATE the suicidal ideation

    that comes along with this mental health disease. It amazes me how our minds trick ourselves into thinking we are a "lost cause". "It will always be this way" and "it won't get better " Hollar if you hear me !
    Brisco221 Brisco221 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    Ugh... im so sick of my mood changing

    so drastically that I feel like im different people from time to time. It sucks :( I need different meds, but I'm afraid it'll cost me my job :-( I'm type 1 with rapid cycling/ mixed episodes and psychosis. I just want to be stable again. .. sigh. Im going to do research, but...
    WolfOfDreams WolfOfDreams 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 30

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    Acceptance

    I am a diagnosed BiPolar II. And also dual diagnosis with many other associated types of dissorders, anxiety-panic-border personality-etc.    I was diagnosed at 16 but went off meds at about 18. I am now 31 and only last year have sought help for these issues. Am...
    KarmaKatcher KarmaKatcher 31-35, F 15 Responses Jun 18, 2007

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    Hi, I'm a 21 year old medical student living

    abroad, I was diagnosed with bipolar nearly 3 years ago, and before that I struggled a lot. I let it get quite far before my family told me to seek medical help, and finally gave me the courage to take a step forward. I've dealt with severe depression and bipolar for as long as...
    lily449 lily449 22-25, F Apr 26

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    mellowwwave mellowwwave 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    So an update on my bipolar

    and meds. I was having small ups and downs. but what bothered me more were the lows. I had gotten up to 900mgs (3x 300mgs a day) of trilepital. up to 200mg of trazodone for sleeping and 20mgs lexapro. the only thing thats changed is my trilepital. im now up to 1200mgs (4x...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 2 Responses May 12

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    So for the first time in my life I sought

    treatment for bipolar. I was put on meds. I gotta say. Damn I wish I'd of done this yrs ago! I feel calm. I don't feel that rage or depression or like im about to go fly off a building for fun. lol I just feel normal! The last few days have been the calmest I've ever been in my...
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 22

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    I wish I could regulate my moods,

    how I feel and how my brain works. I feel so stupid sometimes, like everyone else around me is all ahead on why they want to do with their lives and I'm just sitting here in my depression looking gross. I know what I'd love to do in the near future but, I have no motivation to...
    QuietKitten QuietKitten 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    A Short Narrative of a Manic Episode

        I was walking up to my high school’s football field as all of the school stood in the bleachers waiting for me but I had come up from behind to where the cheerleaders and dance team were. I remember one girl yelling, “Hey Scott...
    Scottsimdb Scottsimdb 18-21 34 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    I M Bipolar

    Without medication i have racing speech, anxiety attacks, i wont sleep, and have lots of energy. I am taking meds and they are working for me. I go to a support group call DBSA (depression, bipolar support alliance) . I have friends that understand my mental illness. The...
    starship33 starship33 36-40, F 8 Responses Nov 6, 2012

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    my depression is out of control.

    my dr gave me a new med to add to the cocktail of meds I take but the insurance is holding it up. im like a f*cking storm tonight destroying everything in my path. ugh!
    WickedlilAngel WickedlilAngel 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    I'm Bipolar, Not A Killer.

    I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 7 years ago.  My meds have changed several times and the stuff I’m taking right now seems to be doing its job with minimal side effects.  My only problem is my family, they…treat me differently now, like they...
    ImNotGood ImNotGood 31-35, F 151 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    Did you notice once you started your meds u

    felt more emotions? you weren't so cold? or is it just me? lol
    PhoenixRising83 PhoenixRising83 31-35, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Im extremely depressed

    and I went through a few manic episodes last year and got diagnosed with bipolar at 26 years old I really need some one to talk to the medication I've been on made me gain a lot of weight and I have not left my bed in months my dad also committed suicide in 2009 and he had a...
    branxo branxo 26-30, F 1 day ago

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    Bipolar

    I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 18. I was having a bible study with my girlfriend and her family when all of a sudden my personality just went from 0 to 60. I was super happy and energetic. I felt great. On my way home I was talking to people and even myself...
    groundshaker groundshaker 26-30, M 2 Responses Nov 1, 2012

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    Has anyone else become dependent on Benzos?

    I take Ativan... 3mg/day. I recently ran out and didn't realize how difficult it would be to get through the day without it.
    SeaOfMonsters SeaOfMonsters 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    The Gifts Of Bipolar

    What is the nature of disability? What does the idea mean? It is a statistical concept, I think. Which is to say, it is a measure of comparison. We can only be “disabled” in comparison to a group of others who have more ability on this particular measure. Everyone can be...
    wundayatta wundayatta 56-60, M 13 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    I have recently found out

    that I am bipolar and have been going through several medications to try and treat it but so far none have been right for me. It is very difficult to deal with and I hear it is best to make friends who are bipolar also because of what you have in common. As you can imagine that...
    JCP2 JCP2 22-25, M 2 Responses May 3

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    What no one seems to talk much about is

    that there's a kind of psychological purgatory that exists somewhere in between the high points and the end of your rope. Those moments when you want to do nothing more than to run from yourself! We have a laundry list of triggers that catapult the slide into what feels like an...
    honestcloud honestcloud 26-30, F Oct 2, 2014

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    Let me start the post by saying thank you to

    BrokenOneX here on ep. She said she suspects I'm bipolar so I did some research and I have more than enough signs proving her statement. I also found out my father and grandfather are bipolar and it's genetic. Now I'm aware of it and know what I need to fix next time I see a...
    akaShaun akaShaun 16-17, M 6 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    I haven't been diagnosed with "bipolar disorder"

    because I haven't been evaluated.. but I have a feeling that I am.. I go through so many mood swings & it's a daily shift of emotion.. I'm always feeling too many things at once and it's overwhelming I'm hardly ever in a neutral state it drives me crazy.. my brain activity...
    sicksadworldx sicksadworldx 16-17, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I ran out of meds for a

    while in between doctors recently, so I got a stuffed mammoth and named it Klonopin. My anti-anxiety mammoth.
    rainallthedays rainallthedays 31-35, F Sep 7, 2014

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    Is it normal to be on 3 different meds?

    The doctor said 1 (amitriptyline) is for sleep and then I'm taking 5mg Abilify and 300mg Valproic acid. I don't like taking medicine. I'm really hoping I won't have to stay on it long term, but everything I read says that for bipolar you have keep taking it. Has anyone ever...
    thornedrose thornedrose 18-21, F 7 Responses Apr 24

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    I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling.

    Everyone's voices sound so far away. My eyelids are heavy and I am curled in a ball. I can't move. I have go be still. If I am still nothing bad can happen. If I move the trail of fog and hatred will follow me like a shadow. I won't let it follow me. It consumes me too much . it...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 5

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