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I Am Building This Wall Around My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 223 People

    I know I'm not the type to be loved.

    I know what men want and it has nothing to do with my heart. The walls are slowly being built. It is a long painful process but one that will be worth it in the end. I will not fall again.
    bzylady bzylady 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 21, 2014

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    ...

    I realize that I am doing now but it isn't to keep one person out but all others. 
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 25 Responses May 29, 2010

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    I Need To Feel Safe

    Outgoing and sarcastic, fun loving, loyal.... Always up for a new adventure, this is the illusion that I portray to everyone..... In reality I'm the complete opposite. I will always assume that you have a hidden motive in getting to know me. I think I'm better off just being...
    Jan 29, 2013

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    Safety ...

    This is just not me at all.  I've never been this way ... no wall building for me.   But recently I can feel myself getting ready to go out shopping for the bricks and mortar ... looking for the trowel ... getting the "How to Build a Wall" manual out ...  It's a...
    womaninbliss womaninbliss 51-55, F 4 Responses May 30, 2010

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    I Need To Protect My Heart

    No matter what i do in a relationship they always leave me for someone else and take a piece of my heart with them. I'm so sick of being hurt because everytime i let someone into my heart they turn around and hurt me. So this time i wont let down my walls ... I wont get hurt...
    Tayuya Tayuya 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 1, 2010

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    Thursday Night 'Fun'

    So here it is...currently at a live night concert with a friend. Local bands playing throughout, you know, all fun and stuff. People enjoying themselves, conversation going on, supposedly a great time. Here's the truth though...really not as fun. Every Thursday our local brewery...
    DenKarp DenKarp 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 29, 2013

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    a while ago I put a wall up around my heart.

    I did not let anyone in or out. I couldn't - the casualty was just too great and way too much at stake. Recently, I let that be penetrated.....well I am glad I did because I felt love greater than I had ever felt and loved someone more than I had ever loved. I started also...
    drooniedat drooniedat 41-45, M 2 Responses Jan 21

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    Hurt By Those Whom Shouldn't

    Ever since I was a small girl I have always kept people at a distance. Useing masks or remaining emotionless, keeping others who stand in the light of life away from the dark shadows in which I seek sanctuary. Why? I'm not entirely sure... I think a part of it is because I was...
    buckisinfomedia buckisinfomedia 18-21, F 1 Response May 30, 2010

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    Hard To Let Go

    If you ever read this, i want you to know that i love you with all my heart. You are my life. My reason for breathing. I want to have your children. I want to be with you for as long as i live. There is only 1 problem, you dont love me. You dont even consider me as a girlfriend...
    tracili tracili 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2010

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    :-/

    Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?
    chellaa chellaa 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2011

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    Building Up My Wall, Permanently

    I don't want to have another broken heart ever. It's humiliating, dillusioning, wasteful, egotistical and pathetic. I don't tell people of the pain I feel, I have people at armslength but not even my closest friends know of my perpetual sadness. I prefer to grow old alone than to...
    roxyyn roxyyn 18-21 2 Responses Jan 10, 2011

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    This Wall Of Mine ... I'm Gonna Let It Shine

    You won't break into this heart again! I must keep you out because you are breaking it all over again into those tiny little shards that cut me deeply and i am trying to place them all back together when you have finished. To me you was once just a dream ... someone i was...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 10, 2013

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    I Don't Mean To But I'm Afraid Of What I'll Do Otherwise.

    Like many other people (because what's wrong with being a truthful cliché?,) I just want to be held and loved for being who I am. But I don't want to push people away by even attempting to express that wanting. I doubt it would do any good, anyway. Whatever -_-
    p1nkmatter p1nkmatter 22-25 Oct 24, 2013

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    I Won't Disturb The Slumber Of Feelings That Have Died

      This pretty much says it all.....
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    Done

    Finished.  End.  No more love from me.  I just can't keep giving it out when i never seem to get it back.  In the end, it's just me here, always.  Shame I don't really like myself. 
    Anesthesia Anesthesia 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 2, 2010

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    The Reason Why I'm Guarded

    I have watched so many failed marriages growing up that it really tainted my views of love and relationships. My parents have been married several times each. My mom left two out of three of her husbands for another man and my dad always married the wrong women. I am also pretty...
    neverbroken21 neverbroken21 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    Hmm More Like A Cage

    Has anyone see the sponge bob episode where he has the old krappy pati in the cage and it braked and growled everytime someone came near. That's like my heart. Has a cage around it..
    eyeslikestars eyeslikestars 26-30, F Jan 15, 2011

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    You Call It "hiding",i Call It "protection".

    Sometimes we build walls not to keep people out,but to see who cares enough to knock them down.You may say that Im hiding i say im protecting my heart,for it has been broke way too many times because i let all of the wrong people in. well i am tired of trying to hide the...
    SadEyedAngel126 SadEyedAngel126 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 16, 2010

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    As I pick up the pieces to my heart I'm also

    building a wall around it one brick at time. I should have listened to my gut in the beginning but I decided to follow my heart.
    loyalgirl78 loyalgirl78 36-40, F Aug 4, 2015

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    </3

    I just recently broke up with my boyfriend that i love with all my heart. Being to attached to him i realize now was a very bad thing. I fell to hard for him and i feel lost in this world. There is this guy who seems interested in me in my school. I feel like no matter how nice...
    karleemcdonald1 karleemcdonald1 16-17, F May 31, 2010

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    Yep! Snowy Is A Wall Builder ~

    I am a wall builder..ask anyone that knows me well. If you hurt me- up the wall goes, if you betray me- up the wall goes... higher and higher each time. And while I know this is a defense mechanism it is so hard not to do even to those who love me. In my lifetime I have been...
    snowbunny1002 snowbunny1002 46-50, F 43 Responses May 30, 2010

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    Quote...

    Quote: sometimes we build up walls - not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to knock them down?
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 28, 2010

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    A Valentines Poem... I Wish You Can See This...

    I love valentines with hate so dear Loathing with eyes wide as hearts appear On this day i begin to see Valentines does not begin with C Everytime I feel its presence Yelling and screaming while they smile with presents Ordinarily I would partake Understand now that there is no...
    poying55 poying55 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 15, 2011

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    who am I to run from my heart... it only hurts more... that the way I could have gone.
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    I liked this guy, I really do like this guy. He's super quiet and I see him all the time. We don't talk though, he doesn' t talk to girls. I've been struggling the past weeks...
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    Got so much to say, but dunno where to start, Please listen when I talk from the heart. When you say goodbye, I fall apart, I just keep thinking of the start. If you walk away...
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    Yeah me!! The ex came back around for a few weeks and yes I fell for it. Par for the course, he's gone again after about three weeks. He hasn't retuned a call or text in a two...
    Cmat2 Cmat2 31-35, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    With petals of love I wished to decorate your heart today. Each petal unveiling a secret that I hold close to my heart. My soul a blooming flower, from a small bud it grew...
    winterfall winterfall 41-45 5 days ago

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    I have been through a lot and I no longer have the energy to deal with these emotions. I have been in love with a guy who has been mean and cruel to me and which he claimed was...
    thecoldheartedqueen thecoldheartedqueen 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    Constantly have horrible back pain, however I'm fighting with all that I've got. Whenever I'm out in public for example to mall (not to shop haha) but to walk around. I get so many...
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    i'm in a long distance relationship (which is tough enough for both me and him) and now on top of that, he's had to move around for a bit because of personal reasons. I MISS HIM SO...
    randomgirl42 randomgirl42 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    JoannaBe JoannaBe 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 4

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    Because it always go through so much pain while he never give but love and kindness, best brother i am but when it comes to love, i am always having troubles with my heart, and...
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    Filled with insatiable need, I crave for her affections Consumed with hunger, yet dying in confinement Shards do fill my wretched lungs, breath by breath She stole my humanity...
    RogueLogic2 RogueLogic2 26-30, F Feb 3

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    So its not me its my mom Her heart veins/nerves is bended like idk what it triggered it or maybe since she was young she had bended veins in her heart but im so scared to lose my...
    treasure1212 treasure1212 16-17, F Feb 3

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    Actually I don't think my heart is breaking but I think my heart is rot. Small wound to big wound in my heart, I never find the cure. I always hold back my anger because I know...
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    This feels kind of weird to me, but part of me wants someone, even a stranger (but preferably a close friend), to listen to my heart beating, to hear my blood being pumped through...
    alphaomega95 alphaomega95 18-21 1 Response Feb 2

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    I would like to remind myself when I get sad or lonely and everyone else too. I am more then how he makes me feel. I do NOT need him or any other person who thinks I am not worthy...
    coolusername19 coolusername19 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    When I was going to the sixth grade. I was forced into a private school. After hearing what they had to say. seeing how they acted. Even at 11 I was able to see through their lies...
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