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I Am Building This Wall Around My Heart

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 203 People

    Building Up My Wall, Permanently

    I don't want to have another broken heart ever. It's humiliating, dillusioning, wasteful, egotistical and pathetic. I don't tell people of the pain I feel, I have people at armslength but not even my closest friends know of my perpetual sadness. I prefer to grow old alone than to...
    roxyyn roxyyn 18-21 2 Responses Jan 10, 2011

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    Hard To Let Go

    If you ever read this, i want you to know that i love you with all my heart. You are my life. My reason for breathing. I want to have your children. I want to be with you for as long as i live. There is only 1 problem, you dont love me. You dont even consider me as a girlfriend...
    tracili tracili 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2010

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    Hurt By Those Whom Shouldn't

    Ever since I was a small girl I have always kept people at a distance. Useing masks or remaining emotionless, keeping others who stand in the light of life away from the dark shadows in which I seek sanctuary. Why? I'm not entirely sure... I think a part of it is because I was...
    buckisinfomedia buckisinfomedia 18-21, F 1 Response May 30, 2010

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    I Need To Protect My Heart

    No matter what i do in a relationship they always leave me for someone else and take a piece of my heart with them. I'm so sick of being hurt because everytime i let someone into my heart they turn around and hurt me. So this time i wont let down my walls ... I wont get hurt...
    Tayuya Tayuya 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 1, 2010

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    Thursday Night 'Fun'

    So here it is...currently at a live night concert with a friend. Local bands playing throughout, you know, all fun and stuff. People enjoying themselves, conversation going on, supposedly a great time. Here's the truth though...really not as fun. Every Thursday our local brewery...
    DenKarp DenKarp 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 29, 2013

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    </3

    I just recently broke up with my boyfriend that i love with all my heart. Being to attached to him i realize now was a very bad thing. I fell to hard for him and i feel lost in this world. There is this guy who seems interested in me in my school. I feel like no matter how nice...
    karleemcdonald1 karleemcdonald1 16-17, F May 31, 2010

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    This Wall Of Mine ... I'm Gonna Let It Shine

    You won't break into this heart again! I must keep you out because you are breaking it all over again into those tiny little shards that cut me deeply and i am trying to place them all back together when you have finished. To me you was once just a dream ... someone i was...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Jul 10, 2013

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    ...

    I realize that I am doing now but it isn't to keep one person out but all others. 
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 27 Responses May 29, 2010

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    I know I'm not the type to be loved.

    I know what men want and it has nothing to do with my heart. The walls are slowly being built. It is a long painful process but one that will be worth it in the end. I will not fall again.
    bzylady bzylady 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 21

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    A Valentines Poem... I Wish You Can See This...

    I love valentines with hate so dear Loathing with eyes wide as hearts appear On this day i begin to see Valentines does not begin with C Everytime I feel its presence Yelling and screaming while they smile with presents Ordinarily I would partake Understand now that there is no...
    poying55 poying55 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 15, 2011

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    :-/

    Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?
    chellaa chellaa 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2011

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    The Reason Why I'm Guarded

    I have watched so many failed marriages growing up that it really tainted my views of love and relationships. My parents have been married several times each. My mom left two out of three of her husbands for another man and my dad always married the wrong women. I am also pretty...
    neverbroken21 neverbroken21 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    I Don't Mean To But I'm Afraid Of What I'll Do Otherwise.

    Like many other people (because what's wrong with being a truthful cliché?,) I just want to be held and loved for being who I am. But I don't want to push people away by even attempting to express that wanting. I doubt it would do any good, anyway. Whatever -_-
    p1nkmatter p1nkmatter 22-25 Oct 24, 2013

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    Quote...

    Quote: sometimes we build up walls - not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to knock them down?
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 28, 2010

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    You Call It "hiding",i Call It "protection".

    Sometimes we build walls not to keep people out,but to see who cares enough to knock them down.You may say that Im hiding i say im protecting my heart,for it has been broke way too many times because i let all of the wrong people in. well i am tired of trying to hide the...
    SadEyedAngel126 SadEyedAngel126 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 16, 2010

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    Safety ...

    This is just not me at all.  I've never been this way ... no wall building for me.   But recently I can feel myself getting ready to go out shopping for the bricks and mortar ... looking for the trowel ... getting the "How to Build a Wall" manual out ...  It's a...
    womaninbliss womaninbliss 51-55, F 4 Responses May 30, 2010

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    Done

    Finished.  End.  No more love from me.  I just can't keep giving it out when i never seem to get it back.  In the end, it's just me here, always.  Shame I don't really like myself. 
    Anesthesia Anesthesia 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 2, 2010

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    I Won't Disturb The Slumber Of Feelings That Have Died

      This pretty much says it all.....
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 6 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    Hmm More Like A Cage

    Has anyone see the sponge bob episode where he has the old krappy pati in the cage and it braked and growled everytime someone came near. That's like my heart. Has a cage around it..
    eyeslikestars eyeslikestars 26-30, F Jan 15, 2011

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    Yep! Snowy Is A Wall Builder ~

    I am a wall builder..ask anyone that knows me well. If you hurt me- up the wall goes, if you betray me- up the wall goes... higher and higher each time. And while I know this is a defense mechanism it is so hard not to do even to those who love me. In my lifetime I have been...
    snowbunny1002 snowbunny1002 46-50, F 45 Responses May 30, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    Walls of protection. Can be built from sorrow, abuse, or just fear. For some we give all or none, for me it is usually all. The wall crumbles life is good then all at once it...
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    Believe me, I didn't used to!! I was open, naive, trusting. Well those days are gone.:( I have been hurt a few times in my life...have let my heart get broken. Then I build up...
    RubyLane RubyLane 41-45, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    There is a quote that goes 'the heart wants what the heart wants.' I believe a heart that is hurting wants different things to what the happy heart wants. So which one do you go...
    wtf70 wtf70 41-45, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    A few months ago I was joking with a friend. I told her I was in a love hate relationship. I hate that I love him. She gave me the best advice ever. She said protect your heart...
    RememberingSunday22 RememberingSunday22 36-40, F 5 days ago

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    Buildings don't just have to be boxes with standard square walls and flat roofs, regular placement of doors and windows like soldiers lined up. Building have the ability to speak...
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    I can't seem to keep these feelings tucked away building and building up, no one there to see me, no one there to hear me, to feel my heart aching deeply. I wonder if I am cared...
    Xenasdreams Xenasdreams 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 7

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    Today has not been a good day. Ive been in bed all day long so much my body aches. I just have no ambition, motivation or drive to get up and do much of anything. Plus my funds are...
    emagynethat emagynethat 36-40, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    My soul had a conversation with my heart one day......you need to close down for a while, your letting too much pain inside, and it is beginning to hurt a lot in here......No one...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Standing in the center of broken hearts zone.. Yesterday was his birthday, i wish i could be there with him, i wish i could celebrate his day, i wish i was able to greet him on...
    Depressedban Depressedban 26-30, F 9 hrs ago

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    I literally am an artist at heart. I see beautiful designs and am creative in my mind. The thing is if you ask me to draw a someone a picture, you might as well expect stick...
    FrankK70 FrankK70 41-45, M 3 hrs ago

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    Darkness of night shines a bright glaring light on my heart, and it hurts.
    prettyballerina prettyballerina 31-35, F 2 hrs ago

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    So when you select to optimize your website or blog by making use of backlink service, you should to obey the rule. If you decide on free of charge backlink, then you also ought to...
    Matthew9360qft1 Matthew9360qft1 31-35, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    My boyfriend and I, well I should say ex boyfriend and I had been going out for 5 years. We had our ups and downs but in the past few months things changed drastically. On October...
    supernovaChic supernovaChic 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 25

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    It was through my daughter I learned to love. Until that moment I didn't understand what it meant to love, a most unselfish of emotions. She made what had been dark, light. I knew...
    EverlyAnn EverlyAnn 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    my wall protects me makes me feel safe I don't have to worry about my words being used against me or my scars being reopened my wall protects others from the real me the monster...
    boxgirl1987 boxgirl1987 26-30, F 21 hrs ago

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    I'm kind of an "uncreative" artist I sometimes think. I'm not particularly adept at coming up with my own ideas, though I do sometimes. I love crafts, I make jewelry and do...
    GoddessThemis GoddessThemis 22-25, F Nov 3

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    I was in concert band one day. Just waiting for the teacher to come in. Then she comes in. I met her a year before, she played clarinet( I played trumpet) and I immediately felt...
    TerrelicTom TerrelicTom 16-17, M 1 Response Nov 4

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    I must admit, I had my fair share of wading around in that cesspool. It helps to listen to other people's problems though, to keep things real. They might slighter than yours, less...
    FryyM FryyM 22-25, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    When my heart gets full, and  it can't contain anymore, then it spills over....Some of the worst hurts are caused by those that call themselves friends.  Some will love...
    1EPMinnie 1EPMinnie 70+, F 9 Responses Nov 11

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    Palliside weatherboards ARE hail proof inside the forty four a long time I are actually in business we have not experienced hail damage to Palliside.B&M Stone Imports shares one...
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    winterfall winterfall 36-40 Oct 24

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    The year was 2014 (no way! cx [but just in case this is read later on in time]) I was that typical human who almost never talked to anyone in class, outside of trivialities and...
    Vivillon Vivillon 16-17, M Oct 30

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