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I Am Bulimic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,037 People

    It has taken me seven years to admit that,

    but there it is. My bulimia has been the most debilitating thing I've ever had to deal with. It is a monster, and I'm hoping that I can get away from it now that I'm in recovery. I just want some freaking stability in my life right now.
    youropheliac youropheliac 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 2, 2014

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    Hey guyz. I'm soooooo fat.

    I'm starting today. No food or drink until this time next year!!!! I know it's not feasible, but I only want to weigh two pounds. I have to. I'm so worthless and stupid and I need my bestest friend ANA to help meeeeee! I don't care if I die. I'll throw up any saliva I swallow...
    WhoAmI613 WhoAmI613 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 6, 2014

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    4 months then it'll be 2 years.

    It's weird because I thought I'd only do it for a few months, a year the absolute max. And now it's coming to two years... I used to think it was a blessing as in the first year I lost more than a third of my body weight. But in the 2nd my weight fluctuates between 55-65kg, it's...
    EvaSFenty EvaSFenty 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 26, 2014

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    2Kawaii4u 2Kawaii4u 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 9

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    Bulimia doesn't mean eating whatever you want

    and still getting skinny. For me at least, it means having a full-blown addiction to food. The law of addiction states that "administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance." So basically, if you slip up, you...
    Skirefly Skirefly 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 26, 2014

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    This is incredibly embarrassing to me; I will

    probably reconsider posting this many times while writing it. I have always been very weight conscious, sometimes I don't leave the house when I gain weight. I have called out of work because I didn't want people to see me that day. I've missed parties, weddings, funerals, and...
    AshleyJea AshleyJea 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 28

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    For the past few months I have been wanting to

    stop binging/purging and every so often I manage to go a day without it and then I go right back to doing it once or twice a day. I just cant not do it. I really want to be able to eat only when i'm hungry but as soon as i eat when I'm not hungry I'm like, 'Okay, crap i'm...
    EmilyClaire6 EmilyClaire6 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 24

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    2Kawaii4u 2Kawaii4u 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 9

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    My Secret

    I was introduced to the world of modeling and pagents at the age of 10. It was at the age of eleven that I began forcing myself to throw up. Being told that your arms are "too chubby" for the runway show that you have been trying so hard to book is devistating. Growing up...
    jrctahoe jrctahoe 18-21 6 Responses May 18, 2011

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    I need help. I purge every time I feel gross.

    Even if I didn't binge. If I weigh too much one day I will restrict food until I break down and binge then I purge it all. If someone says something mean to me I purge. I know it's gonna start being really bad for my health but I can't stop
    novayeah novayeah 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    My Bulimia

    Two years ago, being proud of myself for not throwing up for a whole day would have been a completely strange thing for me. I used to be normal. What the heck happened? It usually comes in binges for me. I'll manage to resist it for one day, and then I'll be feeling...
    NormaJean NormaJean 18-21, F 22 Responses Apr 5, 2008

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    Hi This is my first time on this site

    so I just thought I'd introduce myself haha :) I'm 18 and have been suffering with bulimia for 2 years now. I have always been a very happy positive person and still am! I eat healthily but am not able to keep any food down because I get a huge sense of guilt. I purge up to 6...
    MiaLacey MiaLacey 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2014

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    I Stuffed My Face I Ate Until I Couldn't Take

    It Anymore...As I Was About To Purge It All Out I Remembered A Promise That I Made To Someone That I Love So Very Much. At That Moment I Took A Deep Breath And Let It All Out. There Was Blood And Puke Everywhere As I Was Getting Up I Felt My Heart Beat Getting Faster And Faster...
    DalaKumono DalaKumono 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22, 2014

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    I think I am bulimic.

    I'm 14 years old and a female. I'm 5'2 and 126 lbs. I have the tendency to check my weight every 3 hours or so, i dont really keep track but I can tell you this much, I usually go to the scale 5 or 6 times a day, I practically live there. Also I have tried once to induce...
    Yasminemorales Yasminemorales 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 21

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    I Am Bulimia

    It gives me a high, a sense of accomplishment. Food is evil. Throwing up is like throwing out all the evil, it's like all bad energy is leaving your body, you feel refreshed and new. people say bulimia is like a prison or like a hell, but bulimia is my heaven. Hell is eating...
    abbywhitaker abbywhitaker 18-21, F 8 Responses Apr 2, 2010

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    Somebody please help me.

    I can't stop eating. I want to purge so badly but I've been clean for a week. Can somebody talk? Please
    BeAnAlly BeAnAlly 16-17, F 3 Responses Feb 11, 2014

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    insertnicknamehere insertnicknamehere 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 23, 2014

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    Just wondering how often you binge/purge

    and what shape your teeth are in?
    EmilyClaire6 EmilyClaire6 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 29

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    I am desperate to be free of this disease

    and just be happy. I remember the feeling of waking up and being THRILLED to be alive and couldn't wait to take on the day, and now waking up, I already have the weight of the world on my shoulders and I'm yet to do anything. Bulimia has even edged it's way into my dreams when I...
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2014

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    Have you ever experienced doing something you

    knew was bad but you cant stop doing it because it gives you comfort and reassurance? yeah, that's me and Mia (bulimia).
    jamiieeee jamiieeee 18-21, F Jan 17, 2014

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    2Kawaii4u 2Kawaii4u 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 12

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    I cannot fathom the thought of being bulimic my

    whole life, that's not a life. I am 22 and I'm in college. About a year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years and did not know how to deal with it, so I turned to food. (I've never been a foodie or ever had any food addictions. In fact, I was an extremely picky eater. I...
    CaliEscape CaliEscape 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 31, 2014

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    2Kawaii4u 2Kawaii4u 13-15, F Mar 12

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    Feels like I'm going through purging

    withdrawals! I NEED to PURGE!!! Had a stressful day and I just NEED that feeling of discomfort when I binge because that's how I feel now. Then when I purge its like I'm letting all the stress and emotions and food out. It's awesome. But I know I shouldn't do it. I'm afraid ill...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 9, 2014

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    Distant Self

    (a poem about bulimia) She kneels desperately as her troubles are flushed alongside the rumble and thrashing of her soul. Demons intrude pilfering her spirit that beckons to be again. She parts from her fleshly existence into a world of forgiveness while begging, oh my distant...
    enblanco enblanco 46-50, F 2 Responses May 14, 2012

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    I just ate some cheese

    and feel really guilty. All I want to do is throw it back up but I can't because I had my sleeping pills with it , ugh!! >:-(
    Leteisha Leteisha 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2014

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    I Hate the Feeling

    I'm 14, 5'4 and 194 it's disgusting. I hate the way I look and I'm fixing that. I don't eat. Only when I have to and when I do I head straight for the bathroom to dispose of the things I ate. I hate the feeling of my stomach begging for food. I'd rather...
    Isabellesheart Isabellesheart 18-21, F Apr 22, 2009

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    Threw Up Blood...What Do I Do?

    I'm a bit freaked out... I just threw up blood for the first time. I've been bulimic a bit over 2 years now (after being anorexic for 4 years) and I have been purging 2-3x a day for the past 3 months. As I was purging my dinner, thankfully at the end of my purge, my throat hurt...
    dancer4444 dancer4444 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 23, 2013

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    TO EVERYONE STRUGGLING WITH BULIMIA I can't

    even begin to keep up with the new stories everyday but I can share a story of hope and desire to help you all through your battles. It's only been since February 2012 that I ended my battle with bulimia/anorexia and decided to eat and do what ever I wanted whether I gained...
    Faith4869 Faith4869 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 28, 2013

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    Crazy Inside

    To the rest of the world I probably look like I have it all put together. I am a recent law school graduate, have a gorgeous husband and a beautiful child. I am actually rather pretty, and in comparison to most I am in okay shape. I try to get to the gym a couple times...
    meglnk meglnk 26-30, F 23 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    I'm fine.

    It's been a week since I was last sick..... I'm feeling okay, so all's looking good. I think it's going to stop because of what I did to myself last weekend. I realized how bad it made my depression when I was doing it.  It lasted for probably about...
    Achilles1989 Achilles1989 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 19, 2009

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    So here i sit, trying to throw up what I ate,

    and ended throwing up blood.
    ThatGirlR ThatGirlR 13-15, F 3 Responses Feb 5

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    Omfg! I hate myself so much right now.

    I felt like literal **** because we went to a pizza buffet place and I ate 3 cinnamon sticks, 3 pizzas and a pie. I felt fine but like 30 minutes later I was in church and I got that anxious feeling I should purge. I tried really hard to be positive and not think but it was so...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F Dec 4, 2014

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    A Fraction Of Introduction

    04/22/10 I've restarted this story several times from several different angles. Maybe I should start out small and work my way up. I don't want to pressure myself to make this perfect right now, but one upcoming night the mood will be just right to tell my story the way I...
    LancyG LancyG 18-21, F Apr 22, 2010

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    Nearly 11

    I have been suffering from bulimia and anorexia since I just turned 13....but issues with food started long before then.  I cant take myself anymore, and its so hard to stop.  I also cut.   I spend so much on food...all to binge it, and purge it.  I use to...
    NotUnderstood NotUnderstood 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 2, 2007

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    Hell

    It all strated when my mom and dad broke up. Than was when I was born. My dad has always called me fat since I was in 4th grade, and its kind of hard when you are suppose to me your daddys little angel and he thinks that you are fat. Then when I started High school, that was when...
    barbie215 barbie215 16-17, F 17 Responses Mar 15, 2008

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    Purged again! Finally!

    It feels like it's been forever and I'm so glad I did it :)
    indecisivewitch indecisivewitch 18-21, F Jan 28

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    Me And My Mia

    Mia took over my life at 12, an early developer, I had curves that I just did not want. Mia was easy for me. I didn't eat at school, and since my mum worked a lot, I could easily eat dinner and throw it up. No one noticed a thing. I beat Mia at 14 after passing out once too many...
    LJ160491 LJ160491 18-21 Oct 22, 2011

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    Recovery. My Battle Against Bully-mia.

    I am a bulimic. I am also a type one diabetic. I went to treatment at UCLA for two months. It helped but bulimia isn't something that just goes away. Bulimia isn't glamorous at all, although some people make it out to be like that. Bulimia isn't what people do to just "lose...
    meowrissa meowrissa 16-17 1 Response Jan 11, 2013

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    Hi... Um i wanted to know

    if anyone wanted to help me start this bulimic thing.. . Am fat frr.. Not the 100 and something pounds type but way higher like between 250-350...i know i can stop myself after i get lighter.. But diets are just not working. Please help me start... Someone.
    Regretiam Regretiam 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 28

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    Well, I was for years

    but I've really changed my life for the better to a healthy lifestyle. It wasn't easy. I got lucky. Sometimes I do have the urge to revert when I have degrading thoughts of how I could be so much smaller and how 3-4 days a week of exercise isn't enough, but then I remember I'm a...
    twisteduniverse twisteduniverse 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 3

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    is there anyone here

    that would be up for exchanging email or something in order to help support each other through recovery? I feel like being able to talk to someone about it openly would really help and I want to help someone get back to health and happiness at the same time as me X
    diectoke diectoke 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 3, 2014

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    Why

    I am thirty years old and I have been bulimic since I was 15. It all started when I ate a whole bag of cheddar sour cream chips. Dang those things were so good...lol! I felt like a fat cow and I knew this girl who threw up her food so I tried it. OMG it felt soooo good to me...
    Sesheppard Sesheppard 26-30 1 Response Jul 16, 2011

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    It all started last year.

    I was asked out by my friend, this is when I was a little heavier than what I am now. Currently, I am in my sophomore year. Freshman year was the 'push' to bring me into bulimia for me, really. I was astonished why he would ask me out, I had never been asked out before, no one...
    SlateCandy SlateCandy 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    Had a sandwich really late.

    Felt immense anger at myself. Couldn't purge. Physically wouldn't work. Strange. But stranger still found myself cursing at myself that "you won". But really in the battle I DID WIN. Maybe by default. But in the scheme of life I won. But in my head I didn't win. I wanted it to...
    Tico72 Tico72 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 24, 2014

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    I don't want to be bulimic anymore.

    But I do. But I don't. Uggg. It's messing up my health. I have a constant sore throat even though I haven't purged in two days and it only gets worse when I eat. My stomach is bloated if I eat anything even a cracker. My teeth are transparent and very sensitive. My skin is...
    yonnie97 yonnie97 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2014

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    Three weeks ago i started to purge again.

    I was 123.4 pounds and my boyfriend wanted me to start taking birth control pills. I've read online that birth control can make women gain weight so i started to purge. I am currently 111.6lbs and i want to lose more! my boyfriend is coming down in 16 days and his birthday is on...
    jamiieeee jamiieeee 18-21, F Dec 3, 2014