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I Am Childless Not By Choice

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 427 People

    Finally Accepted I Won't Have Children

    I am 48, childless and single. The past ten or more years of my life have been dominated by trying to have a child. I've had four attempts at IVF, one miscarriage and I've cried more than I ever thought it possible to cry. My relationship with my own mother is not good and if I'm...
    Chitt Chitt 46-50, F 5 Responses Jul 21, 2012

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    I'm 34yrs old married with no kids.

    When I was 22yrs old, I was in a relationship and my fiancee was pregnant, long story short, she had an abortion without my knowledge while I was out of town. I was told it was a miscarriage, I didn't find out until a year later and it hurt me, I've always wanted kids...
    mogabr mogabr 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 8

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    Approaching 40. Met partner a few years ago.

    Happiest and healthiest relationship I've ever been in. Partner has recently changed his mind about having a family .... Confused. Have to make a choice between the two. I love my partner and having a baby alone with a donor is something I have considered but I really and...
    TroubledMiss TroubledMiss 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 4

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    Childless, Married, 40, and Angry, Sad, Numb, You Name It

    I am 40 years old, married for 12 years, and childless. We tried fertility treatments on and off to no avail for a number of years, and I finally got pregnant after my first round of IVF at 37, with triplets. Going into my 6th month I developed a rare life-threatening infection...
    kikiD kikiD 36-40 21 Responses Feb 17, 2009

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    Maybe It's My Fault In A Way!

    Reading some of your stories, makes me realize that maybe i don't have it so bad...but it still hurts to know that being a mother is not something i can see coming my way. My husband has a low ***** count and IVF is the only way of us concieving. We have been together since i...
    Luisa1987 Luisa1987 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 12, 2013

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    Childless Doesnt Mean Feminineless

    Hello, I am not writing to tell about my pain and agony...the lonely nights and days...the sadness inmy partner's eyes. Its been 2years and a half now... I had cried almost each month during these long days.... I m writing for the girls who wait and keep waiting....trust me you...
    SoulMatee SoulMatee 31-35 3 Responses May 1, 2012

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    Childless & Not Happy About

    Married 14 yrs, started ttc in our 11th year. Way to late & eggs are not good. Can not handle being around people with babies.
    empty1973 empty1973 36-40, F 3 Responses Jun 25, 2011

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    My late wife had 3 miscarriages.

    I feel as though I've missed out as everyone I know has children.
    MickyMD MickyMD 51-55, M 2 Responses Jun 26

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    No One Knows

    No one knows how much this bothers me, affects me, irritates me. I am 44 and never been married. I never met the right guy. The first time it occurred to me that this might not happen for me was in 2006. I was dating a guy that "didn't know how he felt yet" and I decided I needed...
    refusingtoacceptit refusingtoacceptit 41-45, F 9 Responses Oct 24, 2013

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    Childless Mother

    I am 60 years old & my heart is so sadden by the choices that led me to being childless. I am in the process of writing a book on my bad choices that led me to being childless but finding it hard to put to paper. I would have changed so much in my younger years if I knew then...
    Catharine12 Catharine12 61-65, F 3 Responses Sep 26, 2013

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    I am turning 40 this year

    and depression is setting in. Not because of aging, but because I've never been married or had children and that has been my biggest dream. I've had two people in the last month ask me "why didn't you ever have children?" which crushed me. I've always wanted to find a good man...
    Jennabee7 Jennabee7 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 11

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    My heart aches.....I am 36 years old,

    doing well professionally and miserable because I don't have the family that I always assumed I would have. I have always loved children and they have always loved me. I was the little girl who couldn't wait to be old enough to babysit. I was the friend who offered to help...
    jenna778 jenna778 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    I am 36 years old, I got married almost 6 years

    ago to a man with two children. Whom I have a great relationship with, but their mom is in the picture and I am just a Step-mom. I have known since I was in my 20's that I would have issues getting pregnant, My husband and I have tried for 5 of the years we have been together...
    Rhosmith77 Rhosmith77 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 21

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    I am married and my husband

    and I have been trying to have a baby since Jan 2012. I am now 38 and am fully aware that time is running out for me. I live on an island, where options for fertility treatment are limited and very expensive. Out of all my friends back in England, I am now the only one who hasn...
    katy1976 katy1976 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 9

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    I don't know where to begin with this.

    I have a story like everyone else. I have nobody to tell it to but I have to get it out. Got married at 25. Had a whole life ahead of me. My wife said "I may not be able to have kids". I was young, didn't think too much about it. Figured with medical breakthroughs, anything was...
    Slickjames Slickjames 46-50, M 5 Responses Feb 28

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    I am 42 yo and got pregnant

    for the first time a few months ago but ended up having a miscarriage. I am sad and bitter. I feel like I hate everyone who has kids or is pregnant. That covers most of humanity, I know!
    lostandmelancholysoul lostandmelancholysoul 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 13

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    We Are Happy Without Children!

    We, too cannot have children. ..not by choice. I have a medical reason that I can't carry a child. We also will not be adopting. There was a time I was sad.. all my friends were having children and it seemed I was surrounded by babies and new mommies. While I am not jealous...my...
    cbarron1 cbarron1 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 16, 2013

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    I feel like there is a hole in the middle of my

    life. 40 and no children and no one that understands how empty this feeling is. New in the area and no friends to talk to. So I ended up here hoping to find someone that I can talk to that understands.
    roundrock72 roundrock72 41-45, F 6 Responses Apr 12

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    Existential Crisis

    I'm not a joiner, so this is a little odd for me. I'm 40. My husband and I have been married for 14 years, and we've been together since I was a sophomore in high school. For years, we didn't think we were ready. Finally, we were. Apparently, it was too late. For years, we...
    KEC1 KEC1 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 17, 2009

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    Not My Dream Come True

    Hi every one my name is Caroline and I'm 43 yrs old. I have been married to my lovely husband for 22 years. I was 19 when I met him. He had been married before and has 3 children. He is 10 yrs older than me. He had a vasectomy at 24 yrs of age. His first marriage broke down and...
    1manham1 1manham1 41-45, F Sep 14, 2012

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    I Am Going To Hell.......

    I am going to hell......I am just sure of it. I cannot manage to get happy for anyone that is having a baby, grandbaby, sharing a child's milestone, ever. I never wish ill, or harm, but is this going to matter in the end? I am going to have to make amends with maker for the bad...
    BitterBeulah BitterBeulah 41-45, F 5 Responses Aug 27, 2013

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    I Am Barren.

    We tried for years and years to get pregnant.  We spent a truly obscene amount of money on medical treatments, including IVFs.  In all that time and with all that money, I flunked every pregnancy test.  I still don't know why.  Having spent all of my husband's...
    SaharaDesert SaharaDesert 46-50, F 7 Responses Jun 6, 2009

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    30, Single, And Slowly Coming To Terms With Not Having Children.

    I'm 30, single and have never been in a relationship. However, for as long as I can remember, a family of my own has always been somewhere in my future. I used to think about my wedding (a very small party, not like the elaborate dreams of others), I had a few names in mind...
    andyj823 andyj823 26-30, F 6 Responses Jun 24, 2012

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    It's Over.

    Today, our 2 embryos stopped growing. We had finally made it to the egg transfer. This was our one and only try at IVF after 2 years of timed intercourse, rounds of Clomid, 3 IUIs and a failed IVF drug-cycle. We knew the odds were against us going into it - I'm 39 with the...
    Naomi73 Naomi73 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 14, 2012

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    Childless But Don't Know Whether To Be Happy Or Sad...

    Through many series of unfortunate events, my husband and I are childless (but have a hairy child in our dog!). I still feel that I am missing something major in my life but don't know if it's children or something else. On one hand, I miss my earlier who dog who I had for 15...
    getchunow getchunow 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 13, 2010

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    Almost 45, Single And Childless And Sad

    How do I accept the cards that have been dealt to me? I always thought that I would be married by age 25 and have at least one child. That was my dream. Then that did not happen. I've dated too many commitment phobic men so I then gave up the dream of getting married. I could...
    Metchie39 Metchie39 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 28, 2013

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    40'S. Happily Married. Grateful For So Much. Childless

    Like many, finding 'the one', getting married, buying a house, getting a dog, having a baby... just seemed a given & a natural part of life. I'm the youngest of 3 girls, proud aunty to 10, adoring Godparent to 3...surrounded by children.... just not my own. After years of...
    belhunter belhunter 41-45 1 Response May 8, 2013

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    Dear love of my life (****).

    You know when we first reconnected in 2011 one of the first things we discussed were our hopes, dreams, aspirations what our life together would look and feel like. I can recall a morning when we were lying together after making love that we discussed my need to be a birth...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 9

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    I am 41 years old and have been married

    for 12 years. We have undergone 4 unsuccessful IVF cycles. We still have 3 frozen embryos left but at our age I feel it is probably time to give up. I feel deeply depressed and don't know how to accept this. Everyone around me had children and it seems the conversations are...
    brisona1 brisona1 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 5

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    So In Love... So Sad Inside.

    Hi! I really need to tell my story. I feel like a shaken up can of soda, i just want to explode and let it all out. I have been married for almost five years, I am 22 years old and my husband and I are the perfect couple! I met him when I was 13 years old and he was 18...
    Karileal21 Karileal21 22-25, F 9 Responses Feb 22, 2010

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    Childless And Happy?

    I have long regretted not having had any children,coming from a toxic family my dream was to one day have a family of my own,a functional family and give my children the love and support that I did not get myself. But life,sadly does not always work out the way we think it...
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 5 Responses Nov 3, 2013

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    Maybe I am childless by choice.

    My marriage, all the men I've dated before and after my marriage, they've all had vasectomies. I did want kids, especially after I divorced at 35... Maybe if I were hit and dating was easy, but it's been a complete dry spell for a year and now I'm 38. Kids won't happen for me. I...
    ladybug76 ladybug76 36-40, F Oct 19

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    Wow, I'm a 52 yr old woman soon to be 53

    and no children. Just like so many of us on here I am bitter and wish so badly for a child even at this age. Not going to happen I suppose. I had a chance to be a mother in my early yrs and had an abortion then, couldn't see any clear path as I was living in a mobile home...
    Texxy Texxy 51-55, F 4 Responses Jul 8

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    Getting ready to go to a 2 year old party.

    I've never imagined that going to a party can make me feel so sad! My story, I can't have children and all I've wanted since I was a little girl was to be a mommy, a dream that will never come true, no matter on how many stars I've wished! Now I have to face the same questions...
    dianneym dianneym 31-35, F 1 Response May 31

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    I Don't Know Anybody Else Like Me

    I have done all the infertility treatments. I have been pregnant three times, and never had a live birth. I have put more money towards starting a family than I put down on my house. Everyone else I know who struggles with infertility eventually gets a baby. I feel so left...
    DystopiaB DystopiaB 36-40, F 4 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    Confusion

    I was childless by what I considered choice for a while. When I was a teenager I was told, by two different doctors, that I would never have children. Having a bad mother of my own I figured it was probably for the best. I had no model for which to be a good mother, and I didn't...
    cephaloscotti cephaloscotti 26-30, F Aug 27, 2013

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    Being A Childless Step Mom Is The One Hardest Parts Of My Life.

    Being a childless step mom is the one hardest parts of my life.  Having a child of my own is gone with the wind...I am grieving the reality of being childless forever…There is nothing that can make the pain go away. Nobody can give you a magic pill and make...
    whyme40 whyme40 36-40 34 Responses Apr 21, 2010

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    I Have Spent Many Of Nights Crying...

    I am married to my bestfriend. Growing up I was the child who always had a doll or a barbie carrying them into the store or wherever I went, even then I so desperately wanted to be a mother. I waited to have children till I was married (always used condoms and birth control). You...
    leesalisa32 leesalisa32 36-40 6 Responses Aug 22, 2011

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    U am 35 yrs old childless

    and sick. Well I met my husband 7 years ago and after 2 years we got married. He has a daughter from his ex girlfriend and he was also raising his ex girlfriend's son from previous boyfriend. Before we got married I already told him I really want to have my own baby. He told...
    sunshininginme sunshininginme 31-35, F Jun 17

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    Thankful For Those That Understand

    I am childless - not by choice.  These are new words to me and I am grateful for them because they help to explain and sidestep some unfortunate assumptions about those without children. I have not had much support during the 10 years that my infertility ran my life. ...
    beingboo beingboo 36-40, F 6 Responses Nov 23, 2009

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    Childless At Age 41

    Where to start? I am finding it difficult to find my place in this world as the years go by. I am 41, my husband is 52, and he has 3 children from 2 previous marriages. Looking back, I was incredibly naive (my very first and only marriage) to think that at age 35 I could...
    HurtingSilently HurtingSilently 41-45 4 Responses Jul 4, 2013

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    Mother's Day... the Longest Day of the Year

    Warning: this is a rant. I hate this freakin' day. And the weeks leading up to it, and the whole damn day, will it ever end? Another year, another Mother's Day, no child.  And it's not even the only day of the year when not having a kid really sucks. Let's see, there's...
    kikiD kikiD 36-40 9 Responses May 10, 2009

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    Venting And Seeking Advice :-(

    hi everyone, thought id look to the good old internet to 'chat' with because im pretty sure my friends cant bear to hear the same old story again and again everytime i have a bad day! Im 36 going on 37 and with a partner who has two kids from a previous relationship the oldest is...
    clemmyj clemmyj 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    To say that I am childless "not by choice" is a

    gross understatement. Back in my 20's I started fertility testing. Each and every test came back normal. I have had several fertility specialist over the years, sometimes even consulting each other. None of them could figure out why I couldn't get pregnant. 15 inseminations and...
    nofamilyforme nofamilyforme 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 29

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    Hi i am a 26 year old female

    who never was pregnate 5 years ago i was in a committed relationship, and was trying but nothing happened i just figured that was god telling me that this is not the man that you need. Fastward 7 years later i am in another committed relationship its been 4 1/2 years and again...
    BornAgain87 BornAgain87 26-30, F Apr 5

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    I feel like I am the only person in the world

    who is experiencing this so it would be fabulous to learn if there are any others. This situation has totally changed my self esteem, level of anxiety, and depression. This may sound weird but here goes. After 20 years of a childless marriage my husband has physically (is...
    ValueMe ValueMe 46-50, F 3 Responses Feb 22

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    I'm 62 - I now hear how many grandkids?

    At 23, I was seeing a fertility specialist and was told I can not have children. OK, we'll adopt. No problem. In fact, childlessness with medical condition put us on the top of every adoption list! Hooray! Spending my military husband and my 20's-30's in Germany we were...
    GreyLadyBird GreyLadyBird 61-65 2 Responses Aug 30

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    Everyday Gets Harder And Harder

    I am a stepmom of two. It is getting increasingly difficult for me to be a childless stepmom. It is getting to a point where I hate my life. People at my age choose either to settle down and have kids or be successful and continue their education. I chose to settle down, but I...
    Rdub2011 Rdub2011 22-25, F 4 Responses Aug 19, 2013

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    Perpetually Single

    I can't share my experience right now, because I can't even breathe. 39, childless, perpetually single. I tell people I've been trying to have a baby since I graduated from high school. Which is true in that I knew what I wanted, and began looking for that relationship that...
    MissAlisa MissAlisa 36-40, F 1 Response May 22, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I need words of advise please! I am a childless step mom to a 6 year old and a 10 year old. They live with their mom and we have them every other weekend. I knew what I was getting...
    irishefsanv irishefsanv 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 11

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    I posted this on an anti-abortion forum and thought it sounded so good that I would share it with you guys. Enjoy~. I thought life began at conception though. There are more...
    Ginkofishin Ginkofishin 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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