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I Am Commitment Phobic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 149 People

    Commitment Phobe to a Tee

    I am probably not going to be able to add anything here that everyone hasn't already said.  I know I have commitment phobia, I know I desperately want help.  I am dating a great girl and all the standard push-away, can't get close to, easily irritated, etc...
    cpmanalive cpmanalive 31-35 7 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    I Am Afraid; But Not Beaten

    I have talked to people who are anti-relationship, and to be perfectly honest, I completely understand. I sort of have anti-relationship tendencies. Once upon a time, I was a perfectly happy single girl. Than I met Jimmy and fell head over heels. Turns out my prince, was the...
    JustBernieGirl JustBernieGirl 31-35, F Dec 24, 2011

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    I Am a Terrible Person......

    I just broke up with a man that could very well have been perfect for me. It started 8 months ago, when an old highschool friend, Brian, found me on classmates.com.  When he found me, I was just getting over my divorce (that had lasted a mere 10 months).  I...
    2bapoet 2bapoet 31-35 3 Responses May 11, 2009

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    Ashamed Of Treating Women Like This .

    Hi everyone ! First post here . I am a bloke and not that young at 51 . All my life since growing up i have loved chasing women etc , and have always put the fact i have not had long term relationship beyond 9 months on any other reason but fear of commitment . Don't get me...
    scania111 scania111 51-55 2 Responses Dec 8, 2011

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    Claustrophobia And Commitment Phobia

    ever since i was young i remember loving the story of cinderella..one day a prince charming will rescue you , make you happy, fulfill your fairy tale fantasies. when i was getting older, my mom would constantly remind me not to get a boyfriend. because it's bad because it's a sin...
    kry24 kry24 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 17, 2012

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    In Every Sense Of The Word....

    I can't commit to men, well I can but not for longer than 2 years unless it's long distance. Either way, I'm still always looking for or wondering if there's someone better for me. I've never lived in one place longer than 1 year. In fact, I decided to extend my lease with my...
    sortiz15 sortiz15 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 12, 2011

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    Why Doesn't He Leave Me Alone?

    I have been with my commitment phobic boyfriend on and off for 7 years. I didn't understand the cycle for a long time and was tortured with pain and confusion over what I was doing wrong. He finished with me 3 times and each time came back offering the world; that we would get...
    jacs22 jacs22 51-55 2 Responses Aug 21, 2012

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    Unable to Love

    In the beginning of the relationship,  everything goes great, we have fun together and I think that maybe this will be the guy. The guy that I can last in a long-term relationship. AND then, he tells me that he really feels something serious for me. He tells me that he loves...
    starrynite90 starrynite90 18-21 9 Responses Jul 12, 2008

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    Possibly?

     I haven't been so sure about this or not for some time. Sometimes I believe I am a complete commitment phobic, since I only stay in relationships for short periods of time. Since I quickly begin to feel crowded and head for the hills. However sometime I'm perfectly content...
    InsanelyMe08 InsanelyMe08 18-21, F Aug 13, 2009

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    I Have A Question

    I met a guy online 4 months ago. Although he shows a sign of liking me. But he will not make time to see me. We only saw each other twice so far. When I tell him I don't want to talk to him anymore because I feel like I am wasting my time, he always respond with "ughhh" " stop it...
    honeyangel honeyangel 46-50, F Apr 22, 2013

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    I Didn'T Think Commitment-Phobia Was A Real Thing, But I Think I Have It

    I have had a lot of bad relationships and always felt people used commitment phobia as an excuse not to commit, but it seems I am commitment phobic. I met a girl who I immediately fell for and felt a love that was pure and innocent. I felt she was super perfect and described...
    JJones14 JJones14 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 27, 2013

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    Same Old Story....

      Hello all! I am new here so please be gentle. I am sure that you have heard a story similar to mine before. I have been divorced for 9 years now but I have had relationships since then. It seems that every time I find (what I think is) a "great" guy that is...
    TryingHard35 TryingHard35 36-40 2 Responses Apr 27, 2009

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    Its Not Me Its You

    no matter how perfect a women in my life is i cant seem to stop finding minor flaws that i turn into major issues... and then i alway cheat on them because i think there not good enough and once i do it i feel like an ******* and beg them to forgive me and once the trust is...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 10, 2010

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    Terminal Case

    I suck at "being there" for people. I mean, when I do it, I'm real good at it. But you can by no means count on me to be there every time, all the time. I'm a guy that can just retreat into my cave for days on end, for no apparent reason - just because I want to. I hate it when...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 1, 2012

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    Scared to Death

    This is a major issue for me, i find it hard to commit to anything and anyone. When i was younger i was engaged to a lovely guy we were living together got on great. Then he started talking about buying a home, i wasnt particularly interested things were moving too quickly (i had...
    thehippy thehippy 41-45, F 2 Responses May 11, 2009

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    A True Commitment Phobe

    I have moved house no less then 22 times in the last 13 years. I have not held a job for more then 14 months, and my longest continuous relationship lasted 1 year.
    TheGuRoo TheGuRoo 31-35 Aug 19, 2013

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    I Wish I Tried

    I'm scared to get too attached to people. I feel that they will leave me and if I'm not so attached it won't hurt so much. Meeting the guy is fine, having him as just a friend is fine, flirting with him is fine but more than that is a nightmare. I aways thought it...
    an7ya an7ya 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 16, 2009

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    Trying to Change My Commitment-phobic Ways

    I am a 20 year old, young woman and I am scared of making a commitment. I am currently in therapy to get over my fears, which apply not only to romance and dating, but also affect other areas of my life (school, planning for my career, friendships, simple decisions and...
    emme932 emme932 18-21 3 Responses May 10, 2009

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    I'M Just Sayin

    My love of men started around the tender age of 13. Yes I was a fresh mess losing my virginity that young but lack of fatherly guidance, I thought that was the thing! Plus my mom was hurting and still distraught over her divorce from my father. She ranted in my teenage years...
    LadyOutspoken LadyOutspoken 26-30, F Jun 2, 2013

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    I'm Pushing Him Away As We Speak

    I;m at the stage now that I get to with all my relationships - I'm getting scared. No scrap that, I AM scared and have been for a few weeks now. The situation is the same as it has been with all my relationships, I met this guy and thought he was nice, fun and enjoyed his...
    mazten mazten 18-21 2 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    The power of vulnerabilityBrené Brown studies

    human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share. (Filmed at TEDxHouston.) My friend...
    JustBernieGirl JustBernieGirl 31-35, F Feb 27

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    Can Anybody Help Me? I Am A Severely Commitment Phobic Young Woman With A Big Problem.

    I am only eighteen, but I know - i just KNOW - i have commitment phobia. In the sixth grade, a boy gave me a love note and I ran away crying. In eighth grade, I'd stay home "sick" because of an admirer who wanted to be my boyfriend at school. Senior year.. I stood up a very close...
    Xxshyvioletxx Xxshyvioletxx 16-17, F Jul 18, 2013

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    I Think I've Found The One

    I came on here after my guilt gnawed at me after I saw someone i usto have a huge crush on a few hours ago.  I thought about dating them and how much better it might be. Currently I am dating someone who is absolutely amazing and is blowing my mind away. I'm going through...
    maktiw maktiw 16-17 Dec 8, 2011

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    Not Your Average Commitment-phobe...

    I'm 23 years old, and I have a daughter who is almost three. I fell in love hard and fast with the father of my child, who promptly ditched me after I got pregnant. We have something of a fractured relationship now, just kind of muddling through, arguing and making up and...
    findmysecret findmysecret 22-25, F Nov 23, 2011

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    I Wont Be Able To Get Involved With Someone For A Long Time

    All my relationships have been doomed, i never view them positively, i always see them bound to end, sooner or later, i cant explain it, i just become trapped, depressed, emotionally and mentally unstable and ultimatly believe my partner is trying to control me. I've become...
    bubblegum84 bubblegum84 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2009

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    Its Been 5 Years..

    since i've been in a serious relationship.  I'm passive commitment phobic and active.  My last "boyfriend" is also commitment phobic.  this really is self destructive behaviour, but i don't know how to get out of it.
    jobijoba jobijoba 22-25 2 Responses Apr 1, 2009

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    Nothing New Just My Own

    I know I am not giving anything new and this has probably been told before and people have these symptoms as well, but I would like to tell of my own experiences. This isn't so much a story as a general summary of my constant attempts and failures. I am beginning to just tell...
    Sunscorona Sunscorona 16-17, M Sep 1, 2009

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    Afraid?

    I have been in one very, very serious relationship and I must say, it traumatized me. I still like guys though, I still have hope for love, but I guess, I became afraid of commitments or of things like that... scares me.
    mistyeyedlass mistyeyedlass 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 1, 2009

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    Commitment Phobic!

    I just recently became egaged to a really wonderful guy. Everything was fine for the first week or so then the fears began to overwhelm me. I can't seem to concentrate on anything other than 'what am i doing thinking i can get married?!'. I have been reading books and doing...
    lovingblue lovingblue 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 12, 2010

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    Yep -- Color Me One of These ....

    Completely, totally, done. The closer it gets -- the further I will run. This is in regards to all of my relationships too -- I have a HUGE fear of this.
    MizzBlue72 MizzBlue72 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 22, 2009

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    No Thanks.

    When it comes to relationships, I tend to avoid commitment. Now, I'm not against the idea of making a commitment to a person, in fact I deeply respect people and couples that have the wherewithal to do what it takes to make their relationships work. However, when it comes to me...
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21 22-25, F 9 Responses Dec 27, 2008

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    Vaccilating Vixenn

     I only want men when they are not ga ga over me.  I like to be pursued but only until he catches me.  I have been in an off again on again relationship for the last five years with some other dating in the off phases.  I get uncomfortable when things get too...
    radice radice 31-35, F Jul 27, 2009

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    Can I Just Be ME!!!

    I've always had more male friends than female. I love sex and I kept a one male friend as my sexual partner. I rather tie my hair back and play basketball with the fellas. I rather admire a beautiful woman or a handsome man who walks past me . I love men and women but I am only...
    LadyOutspoken LadyOutspoken 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 19, 2013

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    Vaccilating Vixenn

     I only want men when they are not ga ga over me.  I like to be pursued but only until he catches me.  I have been in an off again on again relationship for the last five years with some other dating in the off phases.  I get uncomfortable when things get too...
    radice radice 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2009

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    Indeed &

    Regarding anything and everything ... It's slow poison...
    twilighteyes twilighteyes 22-25 1 Response Dec 15, 2011

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    Turning 30 soon and I'm a commitment phobe.

    I have been in therapy for 4 years now and though I have made some progress, I still have a long way to go. I hit rock bottom this year when I realized if I can't ever get over this, than I'm going to live a very sad, lonely life. If I can't learn to love, I will never have the...
    drm516 drm516 26-30, F Dec 16, 2013

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    I'm In Love With A Comittment Phobe

    I'm in love My name is Jorge;  I am not commitiment phobic, but my girlfriend is.  She was in a 30 year marriage with horrible mental and physical abuse. She started dating me about 1.1/2 years after her separation. Our first 15  months was blissful and...
    JorgeV JorgeV 51-55, M 1 Response Feb 11, 2010

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    A Professional Relationship Derailer

    I've always been this way, but it's gotten worse recently (probably because I'm unsuccessfully trying to "fix" myself).   My bf has been talking about marriage a lot lately and it makes me want to run for cover.  1 year ago he told me it was a financial...
    bia611 bia611 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 25, 2009

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    Is The Grass Greener On The Other Side??

    I have a very incredibly kind, generous, imperfect guy that is a great listener and invests a lot of time, energy, money and emotions into me. After a difficult long distance dating for years, he asked me to marry him and I said yes rather reluctantly. Wrong ring, wrong...
    transienthope transienthope 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 22, 2010

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    Never Longer Than A Day

    Im only 18 but everyone i know that is my age has had at least one serious boyfriend and my longest relationship lasted a day and a half :/ .. it scares me that i know if i was to stay with them any longer they would expect me to act like im in a relationship. I am scared of the...
    Jammmz Jammmz 18-21, F Apr 26, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    So i've develped a new phobia with time. Phobic to committments. I know it's a lil weird. But i've become pessimistic about my life. I think that i'm not gonna make it up for more...
    Xyanii Xyanii 22-25, F Sep 21

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    So, a few days ago I was at work, and I met a girl who I instantly became friends with. Work was so slow, we talked for hours. She's a really nice person. And then, I see on her...
    sugarcakes143 sugarcakes143 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    I have commitment phobia, it hurts so much I don't really want to talk about it. Probably the thing I want most in life is a relationship. It hurts so much, everyday pain :( . I'm...
    Xoxogossipgirlx Xoxogossipgirlx 18-21 Sep 18

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    I think I have commitment issues. I find it hard to stay with one person for any longer than 2 months. It's really annoying because I am with a really amazing guy but I can't help...
    Butterflyfairy23 Butterflyfairy23 18-21, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    What does it feel like to commit yourself to another human being? Do you have expectations of that person going into a relationship? What are you hoping to gain from that...
    AquariusLife AquariusLife 26-30, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    The company has always motivated all who work with it. Improvements in the areas of quality, innovation, product distribution, product advertising and relationship management...
    decotouchpaints decotouchpaints 22-25, M Sep 19

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    Found these things..... http://marriagemissions.com/the-emotionally-distant-husband/ There are several types of unavailability – both temporary and chronic. Some people have...
    tristaspuella tristaspuella 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 3

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    Perhaps it's a lot of stress. Or maybe I am too much of a liability. I loose interest in people and I don't give them a second chance. But what can I do? I have limitations too. I...
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 4

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    I have been in two relationships thus far. Repeatedly, I found that the guy would freak out about naming the relationship. We'd have everything going. But what's the fear? Isn't it...
    mridulaharihar mridulaharihar 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 9

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    Providers consist of preventive, conservative and reconstructive restorative dentistry for phobic patients.Modern-day dentistry is the result of many decades of scientific and...
    Devon1739q Devon1739q 31-35, M 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    Thought I'd have some fun today with a simple substitution in our Holy Books Qaran 4:24 Whites are in charge of blacks by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and...
    Faerylightinexile Faerylightinexile 41-45, F 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I somehow feel I missed out on life. That in many times, situations and places I just missed out on something terrific through fear. Fear of what? Failure, ridicule, exposure...
    nunos nunos 51-55, M 10 hrs ago