I Am Commitment Phobic

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 145 People

    Not Your Average Commitment-phobe...

    I'm 23 years old, and I have a daughter who is almost three. I fell in love hard and fast with the father of my child, who promptly ditched me after I got pregnant. We have something of a fractured relationship now, just kind of muddling through, arguing and making up and...
    findmysecret findmysecret
    22-25, F
    Nov 23, 2011

    Never Longer Than A Day

    Im only 18 but everyone i know that is my age has had at least one serious boyfriend and my longest relationship lasted a day and a half :/ .. it scares me that i know if i was to stay with them any longer they would expect me to act like im in a relationship. I am scared of the...
    Jammmz Jammmz
    18-21, F
    Apr 26, 2012

    Trying to Change My Commitment-phobic Ways

    I am a 20 year old, young woman and I am scared of making a commitment. I am currently in therapy to get over my fears, which apply not only to romance and dating, but also affect other areas of my life (school, planning for my career, friendships, simple decisions and...
    emme932 emme932
    3 Responses May 10, 2009

    So this week I was with this guy,

    and my borderline switched places from so many things. And I don't understand what is with my psyche trying to meet damaged yet intelligent people.This guy claimed he was a type 2 psychopath,and then said he was joking.I am just gonna take his word for it and nothing else...
    aquabunny aquabunny
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 22, 2015

    I fall in love with men I have no intention of

    commuting to but commit to men I'm not in love with
    crazyandclever crazyandclever
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 10, 2014

    I Have A Question

    I met a guy online 4 months ago. Although he shows a sign of liking me. But he will not make time to see me. We only saw each other twice so far. When I tell him I don't want to talk to him anymore because I feel like I am wasting my time, he always respond with "ughhh" " stop it...
    honeyangel honeyangel
    46-50, F
    Apr 22, 2013

    No Thanks.

    When it comes to relationships, I tend to avoid commitment. Now, I'm not against the idea of making a commitment to a person, in fact I deeply respect people and couples that have the wherewithal to do what it takes to make their relationships work. However, when it comes to me...
    vinividivici21 vinividivici21
    22-25, F
    9 Responses Dec 27, 2008

    I Think I've Found The One

    I came on here after my guilt gnawed at me after I saw someone i usto have a huge crush on a few hours ago.  I thought about dating them and how much better it might be. Currently I am dating someone who is absolutely amazing and is blowing my mind away. I'm going through...
    maktiw maktiw
    Dec 8, 2011

    Can I Just Be ME!!!

    I've always had more male friends than female. I love sex and I kept a one male friend as my sexual partner. I rather tie my hair back and play basketball with the fellas. I rather admire a beautiful woman or a handsome man who walks past me . I love men and women but I am only...
    iLightBeing iLightBeing
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Feb 19, 2013

    I Am a Terrible Person......

    I just broke up with a man that could very well have been perfect for me. It started 8 months ago, when an old highschool friend, Brian, found me on classmates.com.  When he found me, I was just getting over my divorce (that had lasted a mere 10 months).  I...
    2bapoet 2bapoet
    3 Responses May 11, 2009

    Is The Grass Greener On The Other Side??

    I have a very incredibly kind, generous, imperfect guy that is a great listener and invests a lot of time, energy, money and emotions into me. After a difficult long distance dating for years, he asked me to marry him and I said yes rather reluctantly. Wrong ring, wrong...
    transienthope transienthope
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 22, 2010

    he found like 10 girls better

    than me and totally dating them.Ah well c'est la vie.I have nothing to offer beyond that.I would go lesbian for them.Come to think of it,every woman he dates is better than him.Maybe I am not bad,if I can get that guy. Fall from the stars,hit the ground,but hey was not the ride...
    aquabunny aquabunny
    26-30, F
    Apr 26, 2015

    I Wont Be Able To Get Involved With Someone For A Long Time

    All my relationships have been doomed, i never view them positively, i always see them bound to end, sooner or later, i cant explain it, i just become trapped, depressed, emotionally and mentally unstable and ultimatly believe my partner is trying to control me. I've become...
    bubblegum84 bubblegum84
    26-30, F
    1 Response Nov 10, 2009

    Its Been 5 Years..

    since i've been in a serious relationship.  I'm passive commitment phobic and active.  My last "boyfriend" is also commitment phobic.  this really is self destructive behaviour, but i don't know how to get out of it.
    jobijoba jobijoba
    2 Responses Apr 1, 2009

    Its Not Me Its You

    no matter how perfect a women in my life is i cant seem to stop finding minor flaws that i turn into major issues... and then i alway cheat on them because i think there not good enough and once i do it i feel like an ******* and beg them to forgive me and once the trust is...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response May 10, 2010

    And he likes random stuff on my facebook .

    Including some stuff for a guy who was flirting with me.Is he territory claiming on me?I can't even....Yes,has to be borderline /npd. Could be both.I will cling on to you for dear life,and when you are mine,try to make you my pawn and use you,then abandon you and then restart...
    aquabunny aquabunny
    26-30, F
    Apr 16, 2015

    Can Anybody Help Me? I Am A Severely Commitment Phobic Young Woman With A Big Problem.

    I am only eighteen, but I know - i just KNOW - i have commitment phobia. In the sixth grade, a boy gave me a love note and I ran away crying. In eighth grade, I'd stay home "sick" because of an admirer who wanted to be my boyfriend at school. Senior year.. I stood up a very close...
    Xxshyvioletxx Xxshyvioletxx
    18-21, F
    Jul 18, 2013

    Yep -- Color Me One of These ....

    Completely, totally, done. The closer it gets -- the further I will run. This is in regards to all of my relationships too -- I have a HUGE fear of this.
    MizzBlue72 MizzBlue72
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Feb 22, 2009

    Commitment Phobe to a Tee

    I am probably not going to be able to add anything here that everyone hasn't already said.  I know I have commitment phobia, I know I desperately want help.  I am dating a great girl and all the standard push-away, can't get close to, easily irritated, etc...
    cpmanalive cpmanalive
    7 Responses Mar 17, 2009

    Claustrophobia And Commitment Phobia

    ever since i was young i remember loving the story of cinderella..one day a prince charming will rescue you , make you happy, fulfill your fairy tale fantasies. when i was getting older, my mom would constantly remind me not to get a boyfriend. because it's bad because it's a sin...
    kry24 kry24
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 17, 2012

    Indeed &

    Regarding anything and everything ... It's slow poison...
    twilighteyes twilighteyes
    1 Response Dec 15, 2011

    A Professional Relationship Derailer

    I've always been this way, but it's gotten worse recently (probably because I'm unsuccessfully trying to "fix" myself).   My bf has been talking about marriage a lot lately and it makes me want to run for cover.  1 year ago he told me it was a financial...
    bia611 bia611
    22-25, F
    Sep 25, 2009

    Terminal Case

    I suck at "being there" for people. I mean, when I do it, I'm real good at it. But you can by no means count on me to be there every time, all the time. I'm a guy that can just retreat into my cave for days on end, for no apparent reason - just because I want to. I hate it when...
    deleted deleted
    Jun 1, 2012

    In Every Sense Of The Word....

    I can't commit to men, well I can but not for longer than 2 years unless it's long distance. Either way, I'm still always looking for or wondering if there's someone better for me. I've never lived in one place longer than 1 year. In fact, I decided to extend my lease with my...
    sortiz15 sortiz15
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 12, 2011

    The power of vulnerabilityBrené Brown studies

    human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share. (Filmed at TEDxHouston.) My friend...
    JustBernieGirl JustBernieGirl
    31-35, F
    Feb 27, 2014


     I haven't been so sure about this or not for some time. Sometimes I believe I am a complete commitment phobic, since I only stay in relationships for short periods of time. Since I quickly begin to feel crowded and head for the hills. However sometime I'm perfectly content...
    InsanelyMe08 InsanelyMe08
    26-30, F
    Aug 13, 2009

    Unable to Love

    In the beginning of the relationship,  everything goes great, we have fun together and I think that maybe this will be the guy. The guy that I can last in a long-term relationship. AND then, he tells me that he really feels something serious for me. He tells me that he loves...
    starrynite90 starrynite90
    8 Responses Jul 12, 2008

    Vaccilating Vixenn

     I only want men when they are not ga ga over me.  I like to be pursued but only until he catches me.  I have been in an off again on again relationship for the last five years with some other dating in the off phases.  I get uncomfortable when things get too...
    radice radice
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jul 27, 2009

    Why Doesn't He Leave Me Alone?

    I have been with my commitment phobic boyfriend on and off for 7 years. I didn't understand the cycle for a long time and was tortured with pain and confusion over what I was doing wrong. He finished with me 3 times and each time came back offering the world; that we would get...
    jacs22 jacs22
    2 Responses Aug 21, 2012

    Turning 30 soon and I'm a commitment phobe.

    I have been in therapy for 4 years now and though I have made some progress, I still have a long way to go. I hit rock bottom this year when I realized if I can't ever get over this, than I'm going to live a very sad, lonely life. If I can't learn to love, I will never have the...
    drm516 drm516
    31-35, F
    Dec 16, 2013

    I'm Pushing Him Away As We Speak

    I;m at the stage now that I get to with all my relationships - I'm getting scared. No scrap that, I AM scared and have been for a few weeks now. The situation is the same as it has been with all my relationships, I met this guy and thought he was nice, fun and enjoyed his...
    mazten mazten
    2 Responses Apr 28, 2009

    I Wish I Tried

    I'm scared to get too attached to people. I feel that they will leave me and if I'm not so attached it won't hurt so much. Meeting the guy is fine, having him as just a friend is fine, flirting with him is fine but more than that is a nightmare. I aways thought it...
    an7ya an7ya
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Mar 16, 2009

    A True Commitment Phobe

    I have moved house no less then 22 times in the last 13 years. I have not held a job for more then 14 months, and my longest continuous relationship lasted 1 year.
    TheGuRoo TheGuRoo
    Aug 19, 2013

    Commitment Phobic!

    I just recently became egaged to a really wonderful guy. Everything was fine for the first week or so then the fears began to overwhelm me. I can't seem to concentrate on anything other than 'what am i doing thinking i can get married?!'. I have been reading books and doing...
    lovingblue lovingblue
    26-30, F
    Apr 12, 2010

    I'm In Love With A Comittment Phobe

    I'm in love My name is Jorge;  I am not commitiment phobic, but my girlfriend is.  She was in a 30 year marriage with horrible mental and physical abuse. She started dating me about 1.1/2 years after her separation. Our first 15  months was blissful and...
    JorgeV JorgeV
    51-55, M
    1 Response Feb 11, 2010

    Nothing New Just My Own

    I know I am not giving anything new and this has probably been told before and people have these symptoms as well, but I would like to tell of my own experiences. This isn't so much a story as a general summary of my constant attempts and failures. I am beginning to just tell...
    Sunscorona Sunscorona
    18-21, M
    Sep 1, 2009

    I Didn'T Think Commitment-Phobia Was A Real Thing, But I Think I Have It

    I have had a lot of bad relationships and always felt people used commitment phobia as an excuse not to commit, but it seems I am commitment phobic. I met a girl who I immediately fell for and felt a love that was pure and innocent. I felt she was super perfect and described...
    JJones14 JJones14
    26-30, M
    1 Response Jan 27, 2013

    I Am Afraid; But Not Beaten

    I have talked to people who are anti-relationship, and to be perfectly honest, I completely understand. I sort of have anti-relationship tendencies. Once upon a time, I was a perfectly happy single girl. Than I met Jimmy and fell head over heels. Turns out my prince, was the...
    JustBernieGirl JustBernieGirl
    31-35, F
    Dec 24, 2011

    Scared to Death

    This is a major issue for me, i find it hard to commit to anything and anyone. When i was younger i was engaged to a lovely guy we were living together got on great. Then he started talking about buying a home, i wasnt particularly interested things were moving too quickly (i had...
    thehippy thehippy
    41-45, F
    2 Responses May 11, 2009

    Ashamed Of Treating Women Like This .

    Hi everyone ! First post here . I am a bloke and not that young at 51 . All my life since growing up i have loved chasing women etc , and have always put the fact i have not had long term relationship beyond 9 months on any other reason but fear of commitment . Don't get me...
    scania111 scania111
    1 Response Dec 8, 2011
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