I Am Conflicted

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 251 People

    I am so conflicted it hurts!

    It's tearing me up inside! At times I feel like I can't take it anymore! I want to keep my husband's friendship forever. I don't want to hurt him or destroy him. But at the same time I desperately want to see what else is out there. And there's a man out there right now who's...
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 10, 2015
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Aug 4, 2015

    I am a cheese aficionado,

    but I just watched this clip on YouTube and I feel compelled to quit all dairy. Watch the clip and let me know your thoughts.
    GypsyMiss GypsyMiss
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Mar 16

    I'm ok. I'm not ok. I'm ok.

    I'm not ok. I wish this cycle would just freaking stop!!! I wish morality were easier to distinguish. I wish happiness could be achieved without anyone getting hurt. So much pent up energy right now. Wish I knew what to do with it. :/
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jul 6, 2015

    I'm old enough to vote in the presidential

    election, but I'm looking at the top possible candidates right now and I don't like any of them. I'm not even going to say anything about Trump, because that is self-explanatory, I don't trust Hillary at all due to her various scandals and she is so wish-washy on her stances...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Feb 1

    I really want to watch this movie,

    but I really don't want to stop listening to my music. Life is hard
    PraiseBeToYevon PraiseBeToYevon
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 19

    For the most part I am happy in my marriage.

    I really have an awesome husband. But . . . I long for romance & times of giggling & being silly & having fun. That's just not him. I literally have no hope for that with him.
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Nov 22, 2014

    Fight or Flight? I am torn between the two.

    I am conflicted. I don't know what I want anymore. I don't know what I should do anymore. I don't know what's best for me anymore. An unfortunate side-effect of this path that I have chosen is that I'll still have to be here for another while. I still have to live among the...
    Lullacus Lullacus
    22-25, F
    Feb 26, 2014

    So I have a boyfriend,

    and he's the most amazing guy I've ever met, and I've been dating him for a year now. But there's this guy at my school who I'm really good friends with, that everyone(including my own mother) is convinced that he is in love with me...I wanna believe it, but I don't wanna...
    Nixismachina Nixismachina
    16-17, F
    5 Responses Dec 24, 2014

    Now That I Think About It!

    I am so conflicted that I have unconflicted myself of the previous conflicts and have now ended up coming full circle and landing back where I started without conflict! Holy crap, man, this is gonna be a long night, lol!
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 11, 2011

    No matter what I look up,

    I never find the answer. What am I? I've accepted my pansexuality. I find every gender and sexual identity to be beautiful and I hold no bias. But I don't know what I actually am. I focus on math and have a seriously regimented, organized way to handle things. But, give me...
    Gab1331 Gab1331
    18-21
    Dec 30, 2014

    Actually, I have a really important question

    and I really hope that someone will answer this or give me some advice/wisdom that I haven't been able to see yet. I have a friend who I've become very close to in my college and we've been through a lot - stress together, pain together, and things that neither of us should have...
    ImagineA ImagineA
    18-21
    1 Response Feb 26

    Comes with the territory of questioning the

    beliefs you held for more than twenty years I suppose. It sure gets frustrating & exhausting. Sometimes I get sick of thinking about right & wrong so much. Just want to go for it... But should I?
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    1 Response Nov 2, 2015

    My Desires -versus- What Is Most Important In Life

    I joined EP for sexual interests.  My marriage is practically sexless, and I came here to enjoy erotic stories and sexy photos.  Yet I know that this is counterproductive for my marriage.  Having been married to this wonderful woman for nearly 37 years, I am choosing to take a...
    VoyeurPeepingTom VoyeurPeepingTom
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Jan 25, 2012

    So my ex has been hinting around

    that he wants to get back together, we broke up 3 years ago. Part of me would be happy to get back with him but here's the thing, last time we were together for 10 months and he wound up cheating on me and then broke up with me over text message to make things official with his...
    misspaperwait misspaperwait
    22-25, F
    Sep 19, 2014

    I could never dehumanize anyone else.

    The only one I dehumanize is myself. I view everyone equally because to me a human is a human is a human. I am not a human. But do I only feel that way because of my age? That I have existed long enough as a soul to know strongly that I am not human, but rather this entity. Not...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Feb 9

    I love my current dog,

    but long for one that'll form more of a bond with me.
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    Nov 22, 2014

    He called and woke me at 2 am.

    Apologizing profusely. I told him it was fine. And it was. We got to talking about the old things. All the hurts and all of it but we both cut it off. It's a discussion that needs to be had in person. But that's just the thing. We've talked about it, and everyday I think he...
    ZombieBaitMaiden ZombieBaitMaiden
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Jun 19, 2014

    Because of my depression I'm

    so back-and-forth about wanting to live, like being on a see-saw. One moment I'm thinking I'm better off dead and then the next I'm looking for resources to help improve my life. One minute I'm pondering ways to commit suicide, but then later I find myself looking up voluntary...
    megmegmeggers megmegmeggers
    22-25, F
    Nov 3, 2014

    I went on an incredible unexpected date on

    monday and another on tuesday. he is an absolute dream boat and i think things could actually work out. lately i have been exploring my dirty mind through various outlets, nothing at risk but something I'm enjoying feeling naughty with. I feel like i should stop all the naughty...
    adencamp adencamp
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Dec 10, 2014

    so ..... so very hard to differentiate the

    truth from a lie, when you want so much to believe.
    SweeetKiester SweeetKiester
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Sep 29, 2014

    Social Practice

    For years I've been of the mindset that I need to force myself to practice socializing and human interaction. Some examples: I had high enough grades going into university that I could have chosen a room to myself with no roommate, but I forced myself to choose a room with a...
    TeaByCandlelight TeaByCandlelight
    26-30, F
    Aug 1, 2013

    I love my boyfriend. But

    after ONLY two months, I'm already considering breaking up with him. He can be kind, and he can be gentle. And he can be very lovable. When we met he treated me with more respect than any guy I've met. He's funny and we both LOVE video games. But he's immature. He places his...
    Featherwings Featherwings
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 5, 2015

    Do you ever engage in something sexual

    and feel guilty afterwards for absolutely no reason? I mean in the moment it's all good and amazing losing yourself in it all. After I'm done. I feel weirdly low. Like I did something I shouldn't.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 9, 2015

    Accepting A Big Gift

    The guy that I've gone out with a few times wants to give my oldest daughter a car. We've only exchanged a kiss (not sexually involved yet), have not spoken of any commitment between each other, but we've talked a lot recently and before we actually went on an official date.So, I...
    RhombusInTheSquare RhombusInTheSquare
    41-45, F
    7 Responses Aug 31, 2013

    I have a really strong maternal instinct.

    I really want to protect and help everyone around me to the point it causes me a lot of distress and my therapist is trying to teach me that that isn't good for me, and a lot of times it's not good for other people either because I don't always know what's best for others and...
    Hush92 Hush92
    18-21, F
    Mar 8

    I am in a long-term committed relationship with

    a pretty decent guy & have fallen in love with another. I want both. :/
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    Dec 30, 2014

    I close my eyes, my heart beats fast it's the

    onlysound I can hear. Torn between my heart and soulThe conflict never ends.Somewhere in the distance I hear a waterfallAs I begin to follow the sound from where thewaterfall comes from, the beat of my heart growssofter and slower.As the sound of the waterfall grows louder, my...
    Jay04Sch Jay04Sch
    41-45, F
    Feb 27, 2014

    I go to church sometimes,

    I guess, to pay my respects to childhood upbringing and keep myself grounded, but I also like to go out and party. Sometimes I engage in casual sexual relationships, mutual consensual of course is that so wrong. Will I burn in hell forever?
    anon304z anon304z
    22-25, M
    Feb 7
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 23, 2015

    The Morphing Of Friendships

    We were very close. I felt so intimate with him. I feel so distant now. I don't want to be distant from him; I loved him and we were compatible as dear friends. I admire him. I can't shake this state of being: this sensation of distance. It confuses me, the way our communication...
    TeaByCandlelight TeaByCandlelight
    26-30, F
    Jun 29, 2013

    Scorpio Unleashed You'd better bend

    before I break. Don't wait to see how much i can take. you know for you I would do anything but I can only do so much before the black for of anger rolls in. And coldness wraps it's icy fingers around my stilled heart. My mind puts up it's "Sorry We're Closed" sign, And my eyes...
    SweetKiester SweetKiester
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Feb 9, 2014

    I just want to know if I'm ok.

    I'm not trying to do wrong, but I wonder if I'm screwing everything up.
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 20, 2014

    I have friends in college

    who have had sex before and have a hell of a lot more experience with those types of things. They're always saying things like "Oh you should try it!!" Or "Trust me you'll LOVE it!" But for me I feel like there are more important things in life and also other ways to show a...
    drama16queen1997 drama16queen1997
    18-21
    9 Responses Jan 30

    I attempt to drown out my thoughts with

    incessant cycles of toil and foolery. However, silence has proven to be an unstoppable power; enthralling my very essence and forcing my thoughts to ebb and flow like an ocean in the midst of a vicious storm. Utterly helpless and without any fragments of the hope I once believed...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    May 29, 2014

    I'm having doubts about my marriage.

    I am not as happy as I was a year ago. I dont know if I am able to be repaired. I guess that's what affairs do to you- should have seen this coming. Why can't I be grateful for what I have? I just can't get the thought of running away from it all out of my head. I want to start...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 27, 2014
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jun 6, 2015

    Whatever

    Well, here is why I'm so conflicted. I want to have sex. But, I cannot have random sex or even '**** buddy' sex. Let me clarify, I can, but would prefer not to. Even if I don't feel like a complete *** afterwards, its moves I just don't want to be making in my life. I can't help...
    polkio polkio
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 17, 2012

    I'm fifteen and my boyfriend is seventeen.

    He'll be graduating this year. I'm conflicted on if i still want to date him when he graduates and goes to college. He's my second boyfriend and I'm his first girlfriend and i don't want to just settle for the first guy i fall in love with. I'm not saying it will be settling...
    98abena98 98abena98
    18-21, F
    Jul 25, 2014

    So to sum up the way I'm am conflicted,

    I am both an experienced sword fighter and a diaper lover. I am learning to live in harmony with my self but its hard when you have different personalities you fluctuate between.
    alextbdl alextbdl
    18-21, M
    Feb 22, 2015

    i posted here some time ago-i don't know

    if anyone would remember...recently the subject of my post's partner passed away and he and i are talking-i have been alone for seven years, he was the last maybe even the only real love ive ever known-ours is a complicated story and i have never had a prolonged ill will toward...
    mrhe mrhe
    46-50, F
    Oct 12, 2014

    I have a degree in an area I am burnt out from

    working. Can I start over again as a single mom who is almost 40 or should I just work and save for retirement? make the most of my choices in life?
    treeroots treeroots
    36-40, F
    Aug 24, 2015

    SAD

    I guess the title describes my feeling best in the most basic way possible. I will expand, trust me. It all started towards the end of last year, when my husband of MANY years decided to have an affair with a married co-worker. He spend hundreds of dollars on fancy lunches, gifts...
    ldyvictoria1974 ldyvictoria1974
    36-40
    1 Response Feb 26, 2009

    Side ONE: My point of view is

    neither right or wrong. However, it's educated, relevant, and born of individual thinking. So go F yourself. side two....... You can't be funny and inspirational. Pick a struggle.... Does that make me bi-polarized?????
    SvveetKiester SvveetKiester
    41-45, F
    Apr 10, 2015

    Effin story of my life!

    It's all because I seem to be able to love more than one person at a time, yet that is NOT socially acceptable. Society says I HAVE to choose. Why?! Why can't polyamory work? I think it can, but very few people seem to agree with me, & it just sucks. Cuz I'm either stuffing...
    SaundraMae SaundraMae
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Feb 15

    Helpless

    I find that I am almost conostantly in some sort of conflict with myself.  I've always had an overactive imagination. When I was little, I was terrified of the dark and I would actually have halucinations every night, usually of blood covered zomie -like mutants, which...
    muffledlight muffledlight
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jun 8, 2009
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