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I Am Confused, Anxious, and Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,546 People

    MaddyBale MaddyBale 18-21, F Apr 14

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    Short yet simple experience -- But today,

    I am exactly three months clean of self-injury. I know it might not seem like much, but I am so proud of myself, as selfish as it may sound.
    gh0st13 gh0st13 18-21, F 6 Responses May 26, 2014

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    Sometimes i just feel like i am drowning

    but i can see everyone else swimming and they are so happy and im not i want to feel loved and wanted but i just feel rejected and not good enough i just need to breathe before i go back and pretend to smile and act like its not a bad day
    Hope6800 Hope6800 13-15, F 4 Responses Jul 16, 2014

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    So I'm new here and I'm from Germany

    so my English Isn't that good. I just wanted to get something of my chest. I'm 15 years old and live with my parents. Pretty normal. But I think they hate me. The airways say bad stuff but they're doing a lot for me! I don't get it. How could you be so good for someone and do a...
    anna99lena anna99lena 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 7

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    November 30. Detachment.

    One day, my son brought a gerbil home to live with us. We put it in a cage. Some time later, the gerbil escaped. For the next six months, the animal ran frightened and wild through the house. So did we - chasing it. "There it is. Get it!" we'd scream, each time someone spotted...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 30, 2014

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    I know it's bad to manipulate people,

    but if I'm manipulating someone into not cutting themselves/self-harming is it really that bad? I just don't want her to hurt herself anymore, and by threatening to cut myself if she cuts herself, am I doing the wrong thing? I don't really know what else to do here. It's not...
    Butane46 Butane46 13-15, T 1 Response Apr 29

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    I just recently started self harming.

    It actually felt good. I just started on Monday... I think. The days blur for me. I haven't done much at all. I told my best friend and he kinda freaked out. He will probably freak out as soon as he sees this. When I told him I had pretty much just had a bunch of scratches. All...
    secretlife343 secretlife343 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 8

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    November 6. Enjoying Life.

    Do something fun today. If you're relaxing, let yourself relax, without guilt, without worrying about the work that is undone. If you're with loved ones, let yourself love them, and let them love you. Let yourself feel close. Let yourself enjoy your work, for that can be...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I don't have much to say anymore,

    I'm practically ignoring everyone who loves me and I feel so crappy about it, I treat them terribly because I'm perpetually angry and ashamed of myself. I'm usually just chilling in my room, laying in bed thinking about things, or drinking. I don't believe anyone I'm partially...
    cuntcake cuntcake 70+, F Feb 8

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    so I was talking to my long-distance boy friend

    on the phone, which is hard because he likes to talk mostly about himself, but we got on the subject that my birthday is tomorrow. While he enthusiastically talked about it, im dreading it. I've told him over and over that I just want to forget my birthday. My thoughts bounce...
    katalina22 katalina22 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 6

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    I need healing.. Nothing ever goes "right"

    for too long. Im always caught up in the struggle with no one to lean on. I have inconsiderate friends who think of me last; family too. Its just all getting real to me; no one cares - never did.
    epipfhani epipfhani 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 4, 2014

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    my mood swings scare me.

    i can go from being happy to depressed in a matter of seconds.
    1livingstars 1livingstars 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 14, 2014

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    Hi everyone. I am dealing with depression

    and anxiety. I just got back on EP because I needed some support and wanted to give support. If you need someone to talk to I'm here or would like to talk to me about my depression, etc, I am here. Thank you.
    beautifuleyes13 beautifuleyes13 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    This is the time when my depression got the

    best in me! It's been so long from my last depression! I thought i am all cured until the beginning of this year! I had a huge fight with my bf and received bad news from my family and also losing a chance to be able achieve one of my goals in life! I am a mess! I have...
    LovelyLilly13 LovelyLilly13 22-25, F Jan 13

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    I'm just so tired of dealing with things alone.

    ..This is so depressing! I'm so alone.
    alexa22612 alexa22612 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 7

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    I have a guy best friend,

    and he's married, (bad marriage) but he sometimes asks to see my eyes, asks how old I am (only since I turned 18) and occasionally gives me pats on the head and back. He tells me lots of things about him, and last time he gave me a hug, he initiated it (and I was remembering the...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 Apr 12

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    November 3. Denial. Denial is fertile breeding

    ground for the behaviors we call codependent: controlling, focusing on others, and neglecting ourselves. Illness and compulsive or addictive behaviors can emerge during denial. Denial can be confusing because it resembles sleeping. We're not really aware we're doing it until we...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2014

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    So Much Hard To So Much To Ignore In Life......

    I have done my education and now actively searching  to get hook up with appropriate man of my life :) am desperately looking some honest , comitted  man . But , I always get wrong man....I always get hugely dis-honest & insincere man , even though I am always...
    sanasafinaz sanasafinaz 26-30, F 19 Responses Jun 27, 2010

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    So many guys and girls call me cute

    and adorable and within the first two days of meeting they tell me they love me? They are never in my hometown and most aren't even in my state and I thought I wanted love but I don't think I'm ready and it's difficult having multiple conversations simultaneously and then...
    EpicBrotato EpicBrotato 13-15, M Jan 20

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    I do not understand who I am sometimes

    or my nonchalant attitude in such important times. How can I be so insensitive or irresponsible. My life is only consumed by guilt. I wish to cry so that my tears release me of my wrong doings. It is a harmless habit but regardless not a healthy one as it consumes so much of my...
    cremedelafraiche cremedelafraiche 16-17, F Jan 11

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    November 27. We can Trust Ourselves.

    For many of us, the issue is not whether we can trust another person again; it's whether we can trust our own judgment again. "The last mistake I made almost cost me my sanity," said one recovering woman who married a sex addict. "I can't afford to make another mistake like...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 27, 2014

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    May 25. Loving Ourselves Unconditionally.

    Love yourself into health and a good life of your own. Love yourself into relationships that work for you and the other person. Love yourself into peace, happiness, joy, success, and contentment. Love yourself into all that you always wanted. We can stop treating ourselves...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response May 25, 2014

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    December 3. Developing Healthy Tolerance.

    Many of us are skilled at denying and discounting what hurts us. We may endure a particular situation, telling ourselves repeatedly it's not that bad; we shouldn't be so demanding; it'll change any day; we should be able to live with it; it doesn't annoy us; the other person...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 3, 2014

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    The more my boyfriend

    and i argue and dont talk the more i realize "i cant deal with it". This is going to sound lame but honestly waiting on my Augustus Waters. :3
    ToriDianne ToriDianne 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 21

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    April 8. Self Care. "I don't precisely know

    what you need to do to take care of yourself. But I know you can figure it out." —Beyond Codependency Rest when you're tired. Take a drink of cold water when you're thirsty. Call a friend when you're lonely. Ask God to help when you feel overwhelmed. Many of us have...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Apr 8, 2014

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    November 26. Letting Go of Self-Criticism.

    Look how far we've come! It's good to focus on the task ahead, on what remains to be done. It's important to stop and feel pleased about what we've accomplished too. Yes, it may seem that the change has been slow. At times, change is grueling. Yes, we've taken steps backward...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 26, 2014

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    November 15. Benefits of Recovery.

    There are two benefits from recovery: we have short-term gains and long-term gains. The short-term gains are the things we can do today that help us feel better immediately. We can wake up in the morning, read for a few minutes in our meditation book, and feel lifted. We can...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 15, 2014

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    November 5. Let's Make a Deal.

    "The relationship just wasn't working out, and I wanted it to so badly. I kept thinking if I just made myself look prettier, if I just tried to be a more loving, kind person, then he would love me. I turned myself inside out to be something better, when all along, who I was was...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 5, 2014

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    jon1981 jon1981 31-35, M 2 Responses Mar 24

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    I am a 26 year old man

    who had to grow up faster than you should have I took on the role as a parent at 18 and I gave up everything to be the best parent I could be. now I am a single parent of 6 kids five that are mine by blood and one that is my through marriage but I have been raising him since 6...
    jaymoney0420 jaymoney0420 26-30, M Feb 7

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    I don't know what to think

    or do anymore. I am so depressed and always on the verge of tears or having seizures from the stress. I want to run and not tell anyone where I am going or die or something... sometime between September and January I am supposed to have a hearing about my ssi. But I have...
    tig1991 tig1991 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 17, 2014

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    It's so weird, my feelings.

    . . It seems like I only get a break when I'm high, everything seems alright and like I can keep on keeping on when under the influence. I complain about others around me doing pills and whatnot all of the time, though I do also, practically my entire family does drugs; I guess...
    cuntcake cuntcake 70+, F 1 Response Feb 22

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    My mind is racing, it's buzzing.

    I can't clear it. It makes my head hurt, so I cry. I don't like to cry so I try and stop myself. I guess I'm overwhelmed. Thoughts of School, Religion, The World, The past, and religion all buzz through my mind - all connected to some kind of worry, fear, or unknown. I can't...
    MDCollegeMan MDCollegeMan 18-21, M Apr 27

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    December 30. Laying the Foundation.

    The groundwork has been laid. Do you not see that? Don't you understand that all you have gone through was for a purpose? There was a reason, a good reason, for the waiting, the struggle, the pain, and finally the release. You have been prepared. The same way a builder must...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2014

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    Um hi. I've never really told people

    or came out with my depression. I believe i have an undiagnosed form of depression. I feel as if people would treat me different, or they would judge me in bad ways. I have done somethings I'm not proud of, but i can't change the past. I hate that when I'm with my so called...
    pxxbdxxd pxxbdxxd 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 8

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    November 29. Step Twelve.

    The Twelfth Step says that having had a spiritual awakening, we try to carry this message to others. Our message is one of hope, love, comfort, health - a better way of life, one that works. How do we carry it? Not by rescuing. Not by controlling. Not by obsessing. Not by...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 29, 2014

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    I use to be 6 months clean.

    I failed. I'm still cutting......
    SirensInReverse SirensInReverse 13-15, F 3 Responses May 26, 2014

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    life sucks! so idiot lame & stupid people are

    around! i dont knw what should i do and how can i get a rid of those all sitty people! OH Allah Almighty please help me! & make them all rot in hell!
    nunu77777 nunu77777 18-21, F Apr 11

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    A Lonely Nerd

    I think I am more aware now to the sake of my social isolation. I think it's sinking in, how lonely I am at the end of the day. How my life has been one entire moment of loneliness, of rejection, of alienation. Of never fitting in. It's the end of the day. I'm about to sleep in a...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 12, 2012

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    November 19. Accepting Our Feelings.

    Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings! In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service. We may deny that we...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 19, 2014

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    December 16. Taking Care of Ourselves

    Emotionally. What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally? I recognize when I'm feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame. I recognize when I'm feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain. I...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Dec 16, 2014

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    I'm honestly tired of not feeling okay anymore,

    I just wanna be okay and continue on with my day wanting to burst out in tears It gets to hard to bare
    Crownthequeen Crownthequeen 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 12

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    i thought i was doing fine,

    i mean, i hadn't had any suicidal thoughts or severe depression in a while, and i felt things, i didnt have my usuall blank periods of just numbness. Now everything is kiking in all at once, all of my so lovely dissorders. Part of me doesnt really care, one part of me wants to...
    KatherineSnow KatherineSnow 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 4

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    So I remember meeting somebody off of here a

    few weeks ago, and having a nice talk. I was about to message them again and see how he/she's been, but for some reason they blocked me. Thinking this was a mistake, I used my backup account to message them and ask, why they blocked me. And then they blocked me on my backup...
    TheMasterMan1 TheMasterMan1 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 16

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    December 22. Good Things Coming.

    Do not worry about how the good that has been planned for you will come. It will come. Do not worry, obsess, and think you have to control it, go out hunting for it, or tangle your mind trying to figure out how and when it will find you. It will find you. Surrender to your...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 22, 2014

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    Today, once again I feel this way.

    I feel lonely and left out. Whether it was choice or accident, I don't know. Whether its the right thing or not, I don't know. All I know is that I don't like it! I hate people remembering me only when they need me- and afterwards treating me like a trash.. I hate when people...
    angelcares angelcares 22-25, F Jan 7

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