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I Am Confused, Anxious, and Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,324 People

    November 11. Discipline.

    Children need discipline to feel secure; so do adults. Discipline means understanding there are logical consequences to our behavior. Discipline means taking responsibility for our behavior and the consequences. Discipline means learning to wait for what we want. Discipline...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 11

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    October 11. Recovery.

    How easy it is to blame our problems on others. "Look at what he's doing." . . . "Look how long I've waited." . . . "Why doesn't she call?" . . . "If only he'd change then I'd be happy." . . . Often, our accusations are justified. We probably are feeling hurt and frustrated...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Oct 11

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    November 23. Healthy Sexuality.

    Many areas of our life need healing. One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Today I wrote in my diary with reckless abandon.

    I have a lot of self deprecating thoughts which paralyze me. A friend of mine told me to surrender to my fear. She said to let the fear out. She advised me not to suppress it. I turned that fear into anger and raged on my diary. I even began writing a letter about my feelings...
    milanmilan milanmilan 36-40, F Nov 17

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    November 8. True to Ourselves.

    "This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou 'canst not then be false to any man." —William Shakespeare To thine own self be true. A grounding statement for those of us who get caught up in the storm of needs and feelings of...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 8

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    I've been really depressed lately

    and my family has recently been at war and I've tried to stop it and it's stressing me out and then my ex boy friend keeps popping up out of no where and it still hurts me and then my best friends aren't there anymore and my boyfriend and I haven't talked in like a week and all...
    catherineeac catherineeac 13-15, F 1 Response May 4

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    Is there really a "happy ever after" sure

    dosent seem like I'm good enough for a gf.
    SportsGraphCollector SportsGraphCollector 22-25, M 6 days ago

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    April 8. Self Care. "I don't precisely know

    what you need to do to take care of yourself. But I know you can figure it out." —Beyond Codependency Rest when you're tired. Take a drink of cold water when you're thirsty. Call a friend when you're lonely. Ask God to help when you feel overwhelmed. Many of us have...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Apr 8

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    I need healing.. Nothing ever goes "right"

    for too long. Im always caught up in the struggle with no one to lean on. I have inconsiderate friends who think of me last; family too. Its just all getting real to me; no one cares - never did.
    epipfhani epipfhani 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 4

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    November 9. Accepting Love.

    Many of us have worked too hard to make relationships work; sometimes those relationships didn't have a chance because the other person was unavailable or refused to participate. To compensate for the other person's unavailability, we worked too hard. We may have done all or...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 9

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    November 15. Benefits of Recovery.

    There are two benefits from recovery: we have short-term gains and long-term gains. The short-term gains are the things we can do today that help us feel better immediately. We can wake up in the morning, read for a few minutes in our meditation book, and feel lifted. We can...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 15

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    November 19. Accepting Our Feelings.

    Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings! In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service. We may deny that we...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 19

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    my mood swings scare me.

    i can go from being happy to depressed in a matter of seconds.
    1livingstars 1livingstars 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 14

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    November 14. Letting Our Anger Out.

    It's okay to be angry, but it isn't healthy to be resentful. Regardless of what we learned as children, no matter what we saw role modeled, we can learn to deal with our anger in ways that are healthy for us and for those around us. We can have our angry feelings. We can...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 14

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    May 25. Loving Ourselves Unconditionally.

    Love yourself into health and a good life of your own. Love yourself into relationships that work for you and the other person. Love yourself into peace, happiness, joy, success, and contentment. Love yourself into all that you always wanted. We can stop treating ourselves...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response May 25

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    November 6. Enjoying Life.

    Do something fun today. If you're relaxing, let yourself relax, without guilt, without worrying about the work that is undone. If you're with loved ones, let yourself love them, and let them love you. Let yourself feel close. Let yourself enjoy your work, for that can be...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 6

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    lovebug5524 lovebug5524 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    November 13. Taking Care of Ourselves.

    We do not have to wait for others to come to our aid. We are not victims. We are not helpless. Letting go of faulty thinking means we realize there are no knights on white horses, no magical grandmothers in the sky watching, waiting to rescue us. Teachers may come our way...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 13

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    November 18. Allowing Ourselves to be Nurtured.

    Let yourself be nurtured and loved. Let people be there for you. Allow yourself to be held when it would feel good. Let someone listen to you, support and encourage you when you need that. Receive comfort from someone's physical presence when you need that. Allow yourself to be...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 18

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    I don't know what to think

    or do anymore. I am so depressed and always on the verge of tears or having seizures from the stress. I want to run and not tell anyone where I am going or die or something... sometime between September and January I am supposed to have a hearing about my ssi. But I have...
    tig1991 tig1991 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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    A Lonely Nerd

    I think I am more aware now to the sake of my social isolation. I think it's sinking in, how lonely I am at the end of the day. How my life has been one entire moment of loneliness, of rejection, of alienation. Of never fitting in. It's the end of the day. I'm about to sleep in a...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 6 Responses Feb 12, 2012

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    August 18. Valuing this Moment.

    "Detachment involves present moment living - living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day." —Codependent No More This moment, we...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Aug 18

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    November 16. The Victim Trap.

    The belief that life has to be hard and difficult in the belief that makes a martyr. We can change our negative beliefs about life, and whether we have the power to stop our pain and take care of ourselves. We aren't helpless. We can solve our problems. We do have power - not...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 16

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    I understand the hardships of being a single

    parent, I being married and living with my husband am a single parent for my kids. other than pick and drop now everything was me on my own but I am married, I used to say to myself, remind myself about my hubby being the 2nd wheel of the car we cannot run if we aren't together...
    081275fizz 081275fizz 36-40, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    Hard to understand others around me

    and what they truly want from me.
    kittyluv78 kittyluv78 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 30

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    November 27. We can Trust Ourselves.

    For many of us, the issue is not whether we can trust another person again; it's whether we can trust our own judgment again. "The last mistake I made almost cost me my sanity," said one recovering woman who married a sex addict. "I can't afford to make another mistake like...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    November 20. Wants and Needs.

    So many of us have been brainwashed to think that we can't have what we want in life. That is the belief of the martyr. It is born of deprivation and fear. Identifying what we want and need, then writing it down, sets in motion a powerful chain of events. It indicates that we...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 20

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    Please

    Please. You cant stand me, yet I cannot stand to be without you. You think I'm repulsive, I think you are the most beautiful person I've ever known. My interests bore you, your interests enthral me. You are a genius, I'm a disappointment. You're everything and more, I'm nothing...
    butyouweregagginforit butyouweregagginforit 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 22, 2013

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    So Much Hard To So Much To Ignore In Life......

    I have done my education and now actively searching  to get hook up with appropriate man of my life :) am desperately looking some honest , comitted  man . But , I always get wrong man....I always get hugely dis-honest & insincere man , even though I am always...
    sanasafinaz sanasafinaz 26-30, F 20 Responses Jun 27, 2010

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    Short yet simple experience -- But today,

    I am exactly three months clean of self-injury. I know it might not seem like much, but I am so proud of myself, as selfish as it may sound.
    gh0st13 gh0st13 18-21, F 6 Responses May 26

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    November 26. Letting Go of Self-Criticism.

    Look how far we've come! It's good to focus on the task ahead, on what remains to be done. It's important to stop and feel pleased about what we've accomplished too. Yes, it may seem that the change has been slow. At times, change is grueling. Yes, we've taken steps backward...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 days ago

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    November 25. Awareness.

    When we first become aware of a problem, a situation, or a feeling, we may react with anxiety or fear. There is no need to fear awareness. No need. Awareness is the first step toward positive change and growth. It's the first step toward solving the problem, or getting the...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 3 days ago

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    November 3. Denial. Denial is fertile breeding

    ground for the behaviors we call codependent: controlling, focusing on others, and neglecting ourselves. Illness and compulsive or addictive behaviors can emerge during denial. Denial can be confusing because it resembles sleeping. We're not really aware we're doing it until we...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 3

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    November 5. Let's Make a Deal.

    "The relationship just wasn't working out, and I wanted it to so badly. I kept thinking if I just made myself look prettier, if I just tried to be a more loving, kind person, then he would love me. I turned myself inside out to be something better, when all along, who I was was...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 5

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    Today is a bad day. Today is a sad day.

    Today is just not good... I stay in bed looking through the window the snow falling. I feel my soul slowly dying... I should feel excited, I'm leaving for a beach vacation soon. Everyone else is exited and happy. Me, I just feel more anxious as the day goes by. I don't want to...
    JessyMercy JessyMercy 26-30, F Nov 18

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    November 22. The Magic of Gratitude

    and Acceptance. Gratitude and acceptance are two magic tricks available to us in recovery. No matter who we are, where we are, or what we have, gratitude and acceptance work. We may eventually become so happy that we realize our present circumstances are good. Or we master...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 6 days ago

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    November 17. Grief and Action.

    "Trust in God and do something." —Mary Lyon It's important to let ourselves grieve as a passage between yesterday and tomorrow. But we do not have to be controlled unduly by our grief, or our pain. There are times when we have grieved, surrendered to the heaviness...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 17

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    November 24. Surrender.

    Surrender means saying, "Okay, God. I'll do whatever You want." Faith in the God of our recovery means we trust that, eventually, we'll like doing that. Today, I will surrender to my Higher Power. I'll trust that God's plan for me will be good, even if it is different than I...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 4 days ago

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    November 12. Timing. Wait

    until the time is right. It is self-defeating to postpone or procrastinate; it is also self-defeating to act too soon, before the time is right. Sometimes, we panic and take action out of fear. Sometimes, we take untimely action for revenge or because we want to punish someone...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 12

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    November 21. Financial Fears.

    I sat in the car, looking at the sign on the door of the food shelf office: "Closed until Friday." It was Wednesday. I had two hungry children and myself; I had no money. I laid my head on the steering wheel. I couldn't take it anymore. I had been so strong, so brave, so...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F a week ago

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    November 7. Relationships.

    There is a gift for us in each relationship that comes our way. Sometimes the gift is a behavior we're learning to acquire: detachment, self esteem, becoming confident enough to set a boundary, or owning our power in another way. Some relationships trigger healing in us...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 7

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    Sometimes i just feel like i am drowning

    but i can see everyone else swimming and they are so happy and im not i want to feel loved and wanted but i just feel rejected and not good enough i just need to breathe before i go back and pretend to smile and act like its not a bad day
    Hope6800 Hope6800 13-15, F 4 Responses Jul 16

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    Not all the time but getting more

    and more as days go by.
    meme111111 meme111111 36-40, M 3 Responses Jun 15

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    November 10. Beliefs about Money.

    "I was starting a new job for a corporation. I was good at what I did for a living. The personnel manager and I were down to the details of employment, and he asked me how much money I believed I deserved. I thought about it and came up with a figure of $400 a month. This was...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Nov 10

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    I use to be 6 months clean.

    I failed. I'm still cutting......
    SirensInReverse SirensInReverse 13-15, F 3 Responses May 26

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    November 4. Anger. Feeling angry - and,

    sometimes, the act of blaming - is a natural and necessary part of accepting loss and change - of grieving. We can allow ourselves and others to become angry as we move from denial toward acceptance. As we come to terms with loss and change, we may blame our higher Power...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 4

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    November 28. Back to the Steps.

    Go back to the Steps. Go back to a Step When we don't know what to do next, when we feel confused, upset, distraught, at the end of our rope, overwhelmed, full of self will, rage, or despair, go back to the Steps. No matter what situation we are facing, working a Step will...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 4 hrs ago

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    Related Experiences

    October 28. Meditation

    and Prayer. The Eleventh Step asks us to meditate as a route to improving our conscious contact with God. Meditation is different than obsessing or worrying. Obsession and worrying are fear connections. Meditation means opening our mind and our spiritual energy to the God...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Oct 28

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    October 29. Acceptance.

    A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance. We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Oct 29

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    October 30. Self Value.

    We have a real life of our own. Yes, we do. That empty feeling, that senses that everyone except us has a life - an important life, a valuable life, a better life - is a remnant from the past. It is also a self-defeating belief that is inaccurate. We are real. So is our life...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 30

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    October 31. All Our Needs.

    "And my God shall supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory..." —Phil. 4:19 This verse has helped me many times. It has helped me when I have wondered where my next friend bit of wisdom, insight, or meal was coming from. Everything I need today shall be...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Oct 31

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