I guess I can't understand my own self at times. I try to control how I think and feel, but, my mind, for me, is uncontrollable, and it seems almost every second of the day is spent reliving only the bad things I've done, as if as a punishment.
I can put up with that though...
No Matter How Much I Try To Resist Her Temptation: She Consumes Me With Promises Of A Better Life.
No Matter The Times That I Have Managed To Suppress Her: She Seeps Her Thoughts Into My Mind.
I Cannot Beat Her.
I Will Never Be Free Of Her.
I Can Never Be Separated...
but in the end i decide anyways, and the Dilemma never lasts more than 2-3 days at most. However I am stuck in a major one... That's been going on for 6 weeks, and a serious issue at that. I'm not sure if i want to stay in my current relationship... When I'm away from her i don...
i have no idea what to do with myself. i have become such a lonely anti-social recluse. i dont care about people or society in anyway. i just want to find that special someone. but ill probably just sit here and rot in my head alone until the day i die.