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I Am Contemplating Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 185 People

    I Have Nothing To Hold On To Anymore

    I am so close to the end I dont even know where to begin...so I'll stop here.
    amelie78 amelie78
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jul 6, 2011

    A while ago I've ordered Nembutal over Internet

    and got it seized by customs ... SO that the only available option now is to travel somwhere I can find and buy Nembutal in person ... I'm planning to go to Peru ...I know where it can be found/bought there ... But I feel I need someone with me to go throgh all this ... If we...
    mybygone mybygone
    46-50, M
    Mar 12, 2015

    I Am Going To Commit Suicide Tomorrow.....

    I know I shouldn't be announcing it like this, but I wanted to get some sort of reaction before I do it. My house is going to be repossessed in four weeks, and I am in debt up to my neck. My husband is out of work and I fear he values the house more than me. My company has...
    Sarah932 Sarah932
    36-40, F
    7 Responses May 11, 2011

    Im Not Gona Lie...

    I started having these thoughts again. I cought myself looking up poisons online. I have been considering going through with it lately. Just going out and buying some strong liquor to numb the fear that keeps me from ending it. Nobody would miss me... I mean, who would miss a...
    Krie Krie
    22-25
    1 Response Oct 27, 2011

    Please Read My Story

    If you too are suicidal, my heart cries out to you. Please read my story to the end. Years back, I was a suicide case, determined to kill myself. For years, I lived in the depths of that terrible black abyss, so deep, so ghastly that no one can reach out and touch you. That place...
    Qagidi Qagidi
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Apr 14, 2011

    For Quite Some Time

    ive been wanting to die for so long now. i was told that things would get better but the only changes in the past few years have been negative. i am completely alone except for my cat. ive gotten rid of most of my things and some of my important documents have been shredded. all...
    imallihave imallihave
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 11, 2012

    I think I'm gonna swallow all my aprazolam I

    just drank 250 ml's of Jin I'll probly just end up puking them up anyway
    Username420123 Username420123
    18-21
    Apr 25, 2015

    I Have Been

    For the past couple of days I have been. I'm not going to lie to you all. I just don't see anything happening in the near future that would make everything all better. I don't want to wait, because the wait would be just a waste of time. But yes I have been contemplating...
    XLunaXLovegoodX XLunaXLovegoodX
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Oct 12, 2009

    My Friend Is Going To Die

    ...Sooner or later, my friend is going to kill himself. This last time he woke up in the ICU...then managed to find a sharp in the ICU, and slit an artery open with it. He keeps attempting suicide, and doctors don't understand how it is he's still alive. While the number of...
    hylierandom hylierandom
    41-45
    8 Responses Sep 11, 2013

    Water

    Today I went to the lake again and look at the calm ripples on the water, and again I wondered whether it would be peaceful, just to let myself slide into the water and into endless sleep. But I didn't. A combination of feeling guilty for hurting my loved ones, a faint glimmer of...
    DancingFox DancingFox
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Jul 12, 2011

    Depression

    I tend to compare my life to others a lot. My life is filled with disappointments but what really cuts deep for me is my relationships with people. Right now im in a situation where I resent being around my family because of the emotional abuse they dish out. What concerns me the...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jul 9, 2011

    It's Hard To See The Light At The End Of The Tunnel.

    I'm going through a stage of severe depression. Last week I had it all planned out that I was going to kill myself. I was going to go down to the train tracks and throw myself in front of an oncoming train. But just as I was about to leave my home and go down to the tracks, I had...
    CreedenceGold CreedenceGold
    22-25, M
    5 Responses Oct 11, 2011

    Where do I even start?

    I never thought that I would be in this place. Ever. Once, after hearing about a news article from my father about a recent suicide, I remarked, "What a stupid and selfish action!" I thought it was foolish; however, now I'm not so sure. I put my mood as "tired" not as a...
    Eurus Eurus
    18-21, M
    Nov 21, 2015

    I'm A Coward

    This has been running through my mind for years...more at times, less at times. But lately it's been more than just a thought. And by that I don't mean it's been an obsessive thought. I've had those and it's been like that before for me. It's kind of just a feeling that it...
    permafrost21 permafrost21
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 28, 2010

    Broken Mirrors Are My World

    Its no secret. I just needed my world to be quiet for a minute. I tried to pull it together, but I pulled too hard. Everything has fallen apart. I'm weak and I needed help. I can't put the pieces together. But when silence comes. Everything will be ok.
    FastLaneC3 FastLaneC3
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jun 16, 2009

    I Need Help

    Im a girl, and My life is a series of unfortunate events. honestly, I cant take it anymore, I feel like suicide is my only option, I don't want to die, I keep asking for help, because I don't want to do this but I feel like it is the only way to end my suffering. because...
    BurningCastle BurningCastle
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 10, 2010

    I Am Again.

    I've decided I'm going to try again sometime soon, I have two options... a group suicide or instantaneous death by gun... I really rather go with someone else, because I don't want to die alone and I'm honestly scared to pull the trigger, I wanted my corpse to be in tact when I...
    KawaiiDoll KawaiiDoll
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 21, 2011

    I Know the Time Will Come Again

    Two suicide attempts and all failed results. Either I'm too stupid to pull it off or I haven't found the best way yet. I sit and think of a good way to end my life. I don't want to slash my wrists or blow my head off. That just leaves me giving people more problems when I'm...
    DND DND
    26-30, M
    6 Responses Jul 5, 2007

    Empty Compliments

    So recently I opened up to my sister. I am trying to be more open with my family, however, she is the only one who I feel like I can be really open with. Anyway I have been describing my situation to her over the past few weeks. She gave me the same empty generic compliments that...
    ForgottenMale ForgottenMale
    26-30, M
    7 Responses Aug 4, 2010

    Invisible

    Why do I contemplate suicide?  The biggest reasons are the feeling that I am useless and that I have no real connections in this world.It's not that the world would be a better place without me in it, it's more like the world would not notice if I was gone.  Of course, there...
    goldilks goldilks
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Dec 24, 2011

    Feel Fine Somedays Then Spiral Down to the Lowest Place

    I just know that I will end up doing it. I am so cowardly at the moment but the thought of taking my life, not existing anymore, not having to be me is the most comforting thought I have and my only hope. I have been to cognitive therapy which has only taught me to argue the...
    dusty dusty
    36-40, M
    Jul 3, 2007

    Hard To See Things Getting Better

    I could probably stop at the title alone, and it's painful to go into full detail about all the things that are hurting me to this point. I don't want to live anymore, yet i'm afraid to take my life. I feel powerless to confront those who hurt and wronged me....hell, it's hard to...
    sadmoon sadmoon
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Sep 16, 2011

    I Hurt My Wife (again)

    i just don't know what to do? my wife read an old journal for a psychiatrist where i admitted going to many asian massage palors and a few escorts. also, i admited to going to adult web sites, meeting a girl online, agreeing to meet her in mystic conn. and i got arressted for...
    sparky694ume sparky694ume
    41-45, M
    6 Responses May 23, 2011

    Its Scarey But I Think About Killing Myself All The Time....

    i dream about it everynight, i wish i had more guts so i wouldnt think so much and just do it, the only thing that stops me is my children, i have let so many people down, i wonder if they would really care, i know my family loves me, but would they forgive me????/
    ScaredInIndy ScaredInIndy
    46-50
    2 Responses May 10, 2011

    Death

    I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately... I can't seem to get the thought out of my head that the world would be a better place with out me in it... I used to be in Counseling but the insurance company said that don't cover Psychological health any more... We switched to a...
    GTMarie GTMarie
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Oct 23, 2007

    I Picture It In My Head

    I imagine throwing myself in the lake with a heavy backpack on my back to make sure I sink. Or throwing myself off some high rocks. Or opening the gas in my kitchen and slowly falling asleep; or better still, take sleeping pills and run a hot bath and fall asleep peacefully. I...
    DancingFox DancingFox
    31-35, F
    10 Responses May 2, 2011

    In order to accomplish this I am planning to

    travel to SouthAmerica in April... Btw, my method is sodium pentobarbital ( aka Nembutal ) and I know where it can be found there ... I am 47 years old male ... If you want we can discuss further... you can directly contact me at mybygone(at)gmail(dot)com.. Is there any company...
    mybygone mybygone
    46-50, M
    Feb 27, 2015

    All I Do Is Hurt Everyone In My Life

    I am contemplating suicide becasue over my life I have hurt everyone who has ever cared about me more than I can say. I know and understand that people would be upset and hurt if I killed myself, but the way I see it, me killing myself would cause the same amount of pain that I...
    mellorabbit01 mellorabbit01
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jul 3, 2011

    Sooo Confused.com

    I wish i was dead , but some how i cant bring myself to suicide i feel i let every one down it seem's i can never do right maybe people would be better with out me in their life or maybe not im so unsure i have so many thoughts in my head should i even bee writing this or...
    zoemarie zoemarie
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 19, 2011

    You Don't Know How Hard It Is..

    Or maybe you do. What's life, in this endless winding road of pain and sorrow? Who ever said the young must walk through harsh reality before being "aged" enough to really know how to deal? What's it like to have this constant at your heart? All you want is somebody to be there...
    WiltingBlossom WiltingBlossom
    18-21, F
    7 Responses May 10, 2011

    This Is Sad

    This last week it became unberable. all those thoughts of ending life give me so much rest.i'm afraid of doing it but i can't take it any longer.i can't.i'm going crazy.whole day i was thinking of how can i do it.and it's not coming like i choose to think it or not but my mind...
    pro0ject pro0ject
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Nov 12, 2009

    My first plan, say Plan "A",

    was about ordering Nembutal over Internet .. I did ... But my parcel has been seized by customs ... So that I now have a Plan "B" ... instead of ordering some stuff over Internet , Plan "B" is about going directly to where I can find the needed stuff , SouthAmerica in this case...
    mybygone mybygone
    46-50, M
    1 Response Mar 26, 2015

    Eventually, When It's Time...

    One of the things I loved about the movie Harold and Maude was the way she lived life on her own terms, including a decision to die at age 80. She explained to Harold at one point, "after then you're just marking time." But clearly Harold didn't believe she actually planned to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Sep 11, 2013

    I have a plan, and I've picked a date: My

    birthday. My mother ruined my life ftom the get go, my knowlingly marrying a man that she knew to be a child molester, when I was only 19 months old. I have been in and out of the mental health system for over 40 years. The last straw, had a confrontation a year and a half...
    IllSendForMyThings IllSendForMyThings
    51-55
    1 Response Oct 14, 2014

    Last Resort by Papa Roach These lyrics keep

    going through my mind - not in an OH MY GOD COMMIT YOU way, just have a song stuck in my head. Cut my life into pieces This is my last resort, suffocation, no breathing Don't give a **** if I cut my arms bleeding This is my last resort, Cut my life into pieces I've...
    sassyg1rl sassyg1rl
    46-50, F
    Dec 14, 2013

    I Want To End It All.

    I know it's selfish. I know it's technically wrong. But I don't want to live anymore. I hurt, every day, more than I can bear. I feel like crying at almost all moments of my life, and I can't handle it. I don't want to live like this anymore... I've been bullied, relentlessly, my...
    kaybee1231 kaybee1231
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 21, 2013

    In order to accomplish this I am planning to

    travel to SouthAmerica in April... Btw, my method is sodium pentobarbital ( aka Nembutal ) and I know where it can be found there ... I am 47 years old male ... If you want we can discuss further... you can directly contact me at mybygone(at)gmail(dot)com.. Is there any company...
    mybygone mybygone
    46-50, M
    Mar 4, 2015

    I think about it everyday,

    It has gotten to the point it's a daily thing. I hate the way I look and I hate attention I get from people it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I made a MISTAKE by getting my boobs done and I regret it. ( I wanted it smaller then what they are now.) I did it to help build my...
    Elizabethgl7302 Elizabethgl7302
    26-30, F
    Oct 30, 2015

    It Now Or Never. No One Cares

    No story, just done. ****, I can't even post this without a bunch of bullshit stress
    mrorangefish mrorangefish
    46-50
    1 Response May 19, 2011

    My Life Is A Failure.

    I’ve been waiting for so long for conditions to get better. I’ve tried to look on the positive side of life, and to only look at the positives, but with each wane of the moon I see less and less to feel happy for. In my current state of affairs, I always feel guilty or stupid...
    Dokushindansei Dokushindansei
    18-21, M
    Jun 15, 2011

    Searching For Solace

    These are the days I need to get away. And of course I have nowhere to run. And as im wedging my foot down deeper in this hole I just pray to god I’ll make it to see another morning sun. My skin rips as my nails dig deep into the palms of my hands Im supposed to be strong...
    southofthestars southofthestars
    22-25, M
    Mar 24, 2013

    The Bridge

    Isn't it lovely?It's a good 200-some-odd feet high. A fatal fall.I had another flashback the night before last, and I'm just...tired of the endless, joyless, struggle for survival my life's become. I don't think I'm going to kill myself. I kind of expect this to pass...But I...
    hylierandom hylierandom
    41-45
    3 Responses Jul 12, 2011

    I Don't Want To Live Anymore

    I hate life, I can't stand the pain anymore. My mother is a terrible unsporting unfeeling person...unless of course it's her feelings then she plays the passive overaggressive deflecting victim. I take the pain out on myself because talking to her is pointless. I am still...
    sadmoon sadmoon
    26-30, M
    1 Response Jun 10, 2011

    Life Is A Choice.

    I know the repercussions even an isolated decision makes, I am aware of what's left to clean up (sometimes literally, but don't; that's just mean). I have had wonderful experiences, shared joys and sorrow, been there and done that even more so that I can possibly have imagined...
    bordendazed bordendazed
    46-50
    1 Response Jun 4, 2011
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