It's weird though because if I had a friend to talk with I don't even know what I would say, but, "How are you doing?" I have PTSD from multiple experiences in my life and I am having flashbacks of abuse I have endured and poor choices I have made. I feel like I am under attack...
everything I say, do...........and on and on she gave my phone to one of my relative that she got me for my birthday........ That special phone she gave.............I just seem to be just hating her every step of the way
rantin ( as usual ). Long story short I'm really upset cause it turns out she's havin heart problems & she said I'm the cause of it. She also said if she does have a heart attack it's my fault. I just want things back to the way they were. She also said I'm a mistake. I know she...
I hate to cry and when I do, it is genuine. After it is over I feel sad and angry. I also feel phonie somehow, because I don't understand my tears.
I am feeling sad again. I think I am going through a time when I see sadness and not just anger.
I would like to change...
We all know it's not my allergies. But then why doesn't anyone confront me. Ask me what's really going on. How I really feel. I'm looking for someone to save me and if you can't see that I'm dying inside then you can't help me.
I cry too much. But then again, I have my reasons...
I was stalking him on here. I'll admit it. I say that I don't miss him, but I do, and sometimes all I want is to know if he's ever thinking about me.
Well, he was. He posted something about the fact he lost his virginity to me. He said he regretted it. And honestly...
over a week
That was torture
Now you want to hear from me
And I am meant to jump in reply
You accuse me of giving you the cold shoulder
Yet you have made it clear with your actions you don't want what I want
That you don't want me
I don't know which way to turn
I can't make...
He would be 17 this month.
He could have gotten a car.
He could have gotten a job.
He could have lived another year.
He could have. . .
He would have. . .
But he won't, and even if it's not my fault, I can only blame myself.
I will never see his lips smile again.
after all the things me and my squad went through, this is what they're giving back to me. I am the creator of the group, they see me as a leader and a starter. I am the reason why all the memories of us was made, all the happy things and the rough times are made. It's because...
I went to his organ recital today. Even in the first piece I couldn't stop crying. At that time I came to a realisation that it must've been difficult for him. It must've been difficult for him to play in all the funerals and memorial services, especially for his family members...
when the other people who really close to you (family and friends) talking something bad about you and laugh it, but you just there and listen all about it?
19 years isn't a short time
(yes i'm crying. i just don't know what to do)