But I really don't like to hurt people's feelings. So, most of the time I keep it to myself. I absolutely love being in the company of people who can appreciate sarcastic humor. I...
i am realistic and that means cynical in someone's book.
take it as you want.
I admit it.
I'm an *******.
But you're a moron.
I figure it's more polite to be sarcastic than to simply laugh in your face.
And please accept my advanced apology if...
Teach your daughters the 7 B's... Books Before Boys Because Boys Bring Babies
I was watching a promo for the "People vs OJ Simpson" TV movie on FX, one of the teens walked into the room and asked "What did OJ do?" and "If it was based off a true story"
Your birthday reminds me of an old Chinese scholar. Yung No Mo.
Biatch, the only time you been a 10 is before you turned 11
I kill pride.
I hurt feelings.
Click clack. Bang bang.
Sometimes, even I can't tell if I'm being sarcastic or I'm just a *****!
Oh, the weather outside can bite me,
my muscles ache despite me,
I don't have that happy glow.
Winter blows, winter blows, winter blows!!
Please excuse my pig, he's a friend.
Sorry I got so drunk and ended up being really mouthy and offensive at your party next week.
I'm sorry, was I wearing my "I care" face? My bad.
It's not that I don't like you......... your face just doesn't give me a choice. 😊
You're just a butter knife. I'm a machete.
Obesity doesn't run in your family. No one runs in your family.
Every time I say something witty, please don't think I'm flirting. I just want to establish myself as the funniest one here.
If I had to pick one word that best describes myself, I suppose it would be: can't follow orders.
In High School I had a teacher who was so done with his students stupidity that he would give sarcastic answers whenever they'd try to talk to him which I thought was kind of funny...
Giving a **** doesn't really go with my outfit.
Being sarcastic on a
regular basis can add up
to 3 years to your life.
Sarcasm is extremely
healthy for the mind.
I'm soooo board!!! Pls message me, I'm in desperate need for something to do!!! 😩😩😩
I am so sarcastic. So incredibly sarcastic and I know some people don't get it, sometimes not even me. My sarcasm isn't meant to be mean its more of loving banter.Im just looking...
You Are 60% Cynical ....what can i say? the world is a messed up place...and we are merely puppets in it...-sighs-
"Kids, I have bad news for you: the schools have already decided to deprive you of another day of education tomorrow."
Whenever someone says "It's getting hot in here",
I automatically think "So take off all your clothes."
I don't want to move it, move it. I want to recline it, recline it.
Wow honey, the house is so clean! Was the internet down for a while today?
I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
During the day I don't believe in ghosts, at night I'm a little more open minded..
It doesn't matter how old or gangster you are - if a toddler hands you a toy phone, you answer that thing.
I told him I wanted to walk down the aisle.
He sent me grocery shopping.
Some people may think I'm arrogant. But some people are just jealous they don't have my level of confidence. *flips hair
Mom is sitting with my 5 year old niece & 3 year old nephew, playing with foam craft shapes and frustrated that two triangles will not make a square!
And what do I do? Be...
Things I am really good at:
-Pushing people away
-******* things up
-Forgetting to text people back
Yayyy!! It's Friday!
Oh wait.... I'm a mom.
I was going to quit all my bad habits and then it occured to me that no one likes a quitter.