I Am Dead

I dream of emotions, whether they be anger, frustration, love, happiness, distress, whatever the emotion, I want to feel again.
 
Its been since the 22nd of June that I have lost my ability to feel and it was instead...

What else could I possibly be?!
 Alive?! -scoffs-.
 

You already are
Everything experienced illuminated
You have always been
Illumination
Is pure memory made real
From the belief in each other
As the collective source of light
Giving bright golden awareness
Actively everywhere
Living...

Dead,Sometimes,That's how I feel,Death warmed up,This place,Worse than hell,Wanna move on,Can't wait,Get outta 'ere,Be free again,Start livin' again,And most of all,Be alive!

I know I am dead because there are only two things that make me stay alive. There is my cat, who has lived a hard life. She is old and was unloved for many years at her house. Now she is sweet and happy with me. So I do not want to...

inside i am dead. right now i am just existing. I don't feel alive at all, and I feel like life be better for everyone is i already was dead. 

No, I didn't do it.

But it's getting there. How can I believe in them without believing in myself?

I guess I just don't make the cut anymore.

But I was a tool.

I faked it as hard as I could.

And will until the day I die.

They...

What will you do if you failed so many times? Can't find a new start? Are totally lost?
Well here is my life story briefly:
I'm 16 this year, and 3 years back I was very rebellious, I didn't think straight, I never expected things would...

"But you waited so eagerly while plotting and deceiving me.
You came behind me secretly and shattered every piece of me.
I have nothing to give, so I gave you my life!
Didn't want to see me live, so you gave me your knife.
Didn't hear...