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I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,055 People

    I'am Depressed And Think I'am Losing My Mind

    life sucks! not knowing if i want to live any more or not in it's self is scary.i've been this way for a long time. i've been on meds. since 1995 i have had about all the drugs for depression but i still think of killing my self one day when i finaly get to tried to fight. i love...
    realmckoy realmckoy 51-55 2 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    I thought people didn't notice,

    but apparently some people at work figured it out and confronted me. But I can't tell them the truth. Why can't I ask for help? There are a couple people who would help, but I don't know that I want help. I wish I were dead. I've wished that for years. How long do I have to keep...
    chumiloons chumiloons 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 20

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    Don't Wanna Feel Vulnerable

    no body truly knows who i am yet people seem to think they have me figured out. i just have my guard up all the time and always try to put a smile on my face. its often not genuine but i refuse to let people see how sad i am or feel sorry for me. noww i know my problems are not...
    ullnevakno ullnevakno 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2010

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    Imagine!

    Think of the darkest place you could be. No answers no way out. Just dark. A feeling of doom, dread and no way out. You can't tell anyone because you would be thrown in a place you don't want to go. That is how I feel.
    AlnAlli AlnAlli 46-50, M 2 Responses May 2, 2011

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    Hey everyone. I want to just put this message

    out there. Many of us, including myself, have been helped by this site and some of the wonderful people who are a part of it. But there's still a lot of people who are still hurting. If you're like me, you want to help. The question is, how? Well, here's your answer...
    cyndercrys cyndercrys 18-21, F Jul 26

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    I've taken a big decision in my life:

    after 6 years living in Europe, I decided to go back to my homeland, with my husband, who is a very true European. I've got myself some nice degrees, and with my family's support, I got a job easily. The job is OK, and stable, but for now I can't afford much. Still in the...
    azureazalea azureazalea 22-25, F Jun 30

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    I Can't Hide My Hurt Anymore

    I try to live the normal life and smile and pretend that all is ok with me but I feel like my life is never going to be right. I'm 30 yrs old with no kids I have a wonderful home and all that but I cope with this deep hurtful feeling because I think I can not have kids this is...
    Ckane81 Ckane81 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 2, 2012

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    Ok ik I'm not that new

    but compared to some of these members xD anyways I might be offline more or just seem distant for a while idk why but I've been wicked depressed lately more then usual I'm on my period ATM and I can't stand living I'm just so out of it like idk I might go bak to a therapist at...
    JustKeepSpinning JustKeepSpinning 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 11

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    Liquid Hope

    I have battled with this before...for a couple of years now, actually. I've learned to put on the smile, the laugh, the flirt...all as a cover. I have had moments of happiness here and there...but they are fleeting, few and far now. I've mastered the looks...I had to. For work...
    amodelcitizen amodelcitizen 36-40, M 4 Responses May 18, 2013

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    Of Course...

    ...because no one REALLY wants to know how depressed and sad you are all the time. What a buzzkill, they say. So you put on a happy face, or at the very least a neutral face, and pretend that you're just a "little sad" or "grumpy" at that moment. But oh no, don't act that way for...
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 5 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    I am actually depressed most of the time

    but nobody ever can see or realize it, I don't like to be sad. I just end up thinking of all the bad things in my life, and it seems almost impossible, but i can rarely remember any of the good things that have happened to me. I was never happy as a child, i'd never smile or...
    Anathina Anathina 18-21, F 2 Responses May 5

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    I Hate It Here

    I'm so angry and frustrated. I hate it here so bad. I hate this place I try to be strong for everyone that's how my dad taught me how to live. Today me and him were doing our workouts. I never knew how to do a pushup but I didn't want him to know. He kept on telling me to and...
    Pinklace44 Pinklace44 13-15, F Jul 21, 2012

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    Why ......

    Yesterday I have disappointed with my man, and today my parents do same things to me. My father scream out to me in front of my all family and say that I'm a fool and trouble maker. Then my mother say that my father very hate me. It makes me feel more depressed than before, and...
    azmya azmya 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    I Need Help And I Don't Know Where To Go

    I am supposed to be the strong person.  I am so sad lately and I just want to curl up in a ball and just cry.  I have become an almost hermit.  I go to work and then home again.  I have nearly cut off contact with all close friends and family.  I am not suicidal, but I have...
    pm1985 pm1985 41-45 2 Responses May 12, 2011

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    I've had some serious moments

    where I totally spaced out and it seemed like I was crazy or schizophrenia, but really Im ultimately anxious and depressed. I have a psychotic disorder but haven't been diagnosed yet. My fam knows what Im experiencing, only thing they don't know the magnitude of it. Its like...
    troubledflight troubledflight 22-25, M 3 days ago

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    What a ******* day. My birthday.

    All alone. You want to know what I did today? I watched movies. That's pretty much it, just watched movies. The only happiness I had today was when I took the dog out for a walk. She loved it. That was the only joy I had today. Oh I got a lot of happy birthday's on...
    thedude5600 thedude5600 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 15

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    Its night once again.

    .. During the day I can pass off as if I'm okay... but I'm not... My mind just wants to shut down and not reawaken. I can smile, joke, and give advice... but as soon as I close my door and no one is around to see I lose myself completely. Trying to hold myself together has become...
    MysticallyForbidden MysticallyForbidden 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 22

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    everyone just thinks I am happy all the time.

    .. truth is I am never happy. I'm depressed... always have been and always will be!😔
    bigtrucksss bigtrucksss 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 26

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    Oh, there were some bad triggers today.

    Now I have red skin and red palms from slapping myself. It stings. Not as bad as how some people cut. But it's pain to some degree. It's self-punishment.
    emiveritas emiveritas 18-21, F Aug 18

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    Most my blogs is about depressing & failure .

    I used to be this happy uncaring . Anime / video games lover / & I remember my happiest year 2009 wAs a happy year . I wish someone would show me the way . I have a bad addiction plus . Going back to school in less of a month . I feel all the world is on my shoulders .
    lordeley952 lordeley952 18-21, M Aug 18

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    ...and by people, maybe I mean myself.

    Being in this state I am in, i think I really need to realie that I have a problem and therefore, I need to watch myself and my actions well. Lately I have been doing and saying things which I regret short time later, whether it is about disclosing secrets, sharing stuff or...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 10

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    Just Letting It Out.

    After losing my partner to infidelity through my child catching her in the act. I lost the plot and threatened to kill her. I went to jail and suffered dearly. Ive overcome drugs and other partners cheating on me in the past also ive just recently beaten a disease. Im completely...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 8, 2011

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    :))) I'm fine. :) I'll stay happy

    for you. So, you don't have to deal with me.
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    PLEASE BE MY CO-WRITER FOR A REALISTIC DRAMA

    NOVEL ABOUT A WOMAN IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 9

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    No More Strength

    [Hi! this is my first time ever sharing about me with other people] There's no one who really understands me. Maybe there's a few people who care about me, for example my parents. But there's no one who can help me out. Some people who know that I'm depressed keep saying that...
    VIKTOR5932 VIKTOR5932 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    The stuff I write on here compared to how I act

    in person, is so different in mood. I wish the real me, that is here, was more like how I try and portray myself in real life: happy. I often to feel happy. So, I don't feel like I'm constantly depressed. But, with that being sad, I post more things to vent than I want. I'm...
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21, F Jul 17

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    I want to karate chop someone

    so bad. Black belt for 4 years!
    Driftingminds Driftingminds 16-17, F Aug 20

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    Recently I was placed back on antidepressants

    after being med-free for 4+ years. This time around the battle is worse, and I can DEFINITELY tell when I've accidentally skipped a day. I start feeling, well, depressed again. Only in a rush. I'm useless, really. I feel like I annoy everyone around me so I don't talk much...
    cyndercrys cyndercrys 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 29

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    PLEASE BE MY CO-WRITER FOR A REALISTIC DRAMA

    NOVEL ABOUT A WOMAN IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 6

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    And everyone thinks I'm a happy kid.

    They were quite surprised that my physiological test resulted in high levels of depression, stress and anxiety which is true because I answered the questions true to myself. I may look cheerful on the outside but deep down I'm a really dark person who hates everything in the...
    Kywen97 Kywen97 16-17, F Aug 18

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    I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

    .Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. I've been on antidepressants that long too. It should be an old friend by now. Right? People who are not or have never been deeply depressed can't understand why you don't just "snap out of it", "you have so much...
    BCBoomer58 BCBoomer58 56-60, F 16 Responses May 23, 2010

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    Ive been even more quiet

    and even more distant. No one knows or cares to realize just how depressed I really am.
    underageloner underageloner 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    honestly what is there to say

    but I'm depressed i wake up depressed go to sleep depressed i cry myself to sleep i can give other people advice but i can't take my own advice! i really can't do this the littlest things can make me depressed doing the things that i used to enjoy makes me more depressed! i can...
    breebreet breebreet 13-15, F Jul 4

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    I am so sick of having to pretend being happy

    all the time... People think I'm crazy and outgoing but Ive really just learned how to act like everything I'm not to keep myself from falling apart in public..
    Meanstreets Meanstreets 16-17, M Sep 3

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison. Please help me.
    Blipsycat Blipsycat 16-17, M Aug 6

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    I Hide It Well

    I hide the pain behind a smile. And I've done a good job. But now that I yearn for help, no one can hear me
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2010

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    I was depressed for a long time.

    Then it became on and off. I will talk others about they're problems and be there no matter how late it is, if you feel like you commit suicide, if your about to cut etc. I'm always the one my friends come to of whoever comes to if they have any problem. Even if they've killed...
    sashakimi4 sashakimi4 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    This Is Not Easy

    It seems lately my depression comes in waves. Like I can wake up feeling ok, just enough to go trough the day, and then this wave comes crushing me. I try to shake it out, to be positive as much as I can, but most of the time I end up failing. Right now I cant get rid of this...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 6, 2012

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    I know that it doesn't solve anything,

    but I would honestly rather die than be me. I would rather do that than me bothering people, than me disappointing people, than me living.
    jordins22 jordins22 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 13

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    I did not want to die without telling my family

    that I was dying inside, that I wasn't wrong, that I really tried hard. You know what, I don't care anymore.. I've tried telling them only to be laughed at, and not understood. I don't understand how people who mean the world to me, refuse to understand my world. I guess I'll...
    SecretsOut14 SecretsOut14 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    When You See Me Coming Home..

    Yea, when you see me coming home with a large bag of potato chips, know that I'm feeling horrible. I think that's going to happen more often.. who gives a f u q anyway yay :) see I'm smilling, I'm sooooo happy I can't believe how happy I am, I am so damn happy to the point I...
    PiecingMeBackTogether PiecingMeBackTogether 18-21 Nov 20, 2013

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    Definitely depressed

    than most people around me would realize. But I am used to it now & as long as people around me are happy I feel content. I feel it's a phase and this shall pass too. I am still finding my inner self to see what I really want & the day I truly understand what is it that I want...
    uselessguy uselessguy 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    The scariest thing is

    that I've gotten soooo damn good and pretending that some days I don't even realize just how sad I am. I had to force myself to smile because I was sick of people asking me what was wrong. I often felt that people were thinking omg, she's STILL sad. Nobody understands....
    JnyJny JnyJny 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    These memories never seem to fade.

    . The hurt never goes away.. No matter how hard I try, peace never stays... I'd love a resolution, but nothing eases my mind.. I truly know that i'm engaged to this hurt, and we seem to be loyal... But i'm not happy.. These days, it's been so hard for me to walk, because I know...
    ShallowDreamers ShallowDreamers 22-25, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Nothing Saves Me.

    I am all alone although someone holds me while I cry. Maybe I am way more depressed than people realize. Maybe that's the saddest f ucking thing that makes me lose all my hope.
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 18, 2011

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    Things were going so well

    for me I nearly thought I had beaten depression for good. Not so. What is it about depression that takes you from being the happiest person alive to holding a knife against your wrists in seconds? I'm not saying that is what I am doing, it isn't. But going from the most...
    AnomalousEarthling AnomalousEarthling 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Irony

    A man I know quite well became prone to bouts of deep depression, bordering on suicide. In desperation, he sought the services of a psychologist, telling them: "I seem to see nothing but shadows and darkness everywhere; the world seems so full of anger, horror and evil...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 10 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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    I feel so down and I don't know why.

    My life has become about trying to feel ok but I just end up feeling really bad. I'm blessed with good health and a comfortable life and I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I don't know why I feel so bad.
    100akerwoods 100akerwoods 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 11

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    I put on a brave face

    and carry all my problems on my shoulders but I just can't se to get out of the repetitive cycle of bills work etc. I have a loving wife with 2 kids who I love to death and the only reason I get up in the morning. After work I go home and turn on the playstation after chatting...
    toadau toadau 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 26

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    Idiot Politicians And Doctors

    Since I have been injured - 14 months ago - I have found that marijuana helps two things. I had always heard it was great for pain, and it is. But it's also great for depression. I never knew that until I smoked some while utterly depressed. But until things change, I cannot...
    stankadiddlehopper stankadiddlehopper 51-55, M 1 Response Mar 7, 2013

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    I Am

    I am more depressed than people know i am always laughting and smiling but deep down iam so depressed . depresion you cant contole it like oh just be happy , ive had people sa that to me and its just not the answer . its something you cant change . my depression is...
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F 14 Responses Apr 12, 2010

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    nadirah96 nadirah96 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 6

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    Ruined Paradise

    I did suicide. I hanged myself with a big green power cord off our balcony. I woke up an just did it. Idk how or why that way it was like I was watching it happen like tv. I was already gone an my sisters heard it happen an cut me down. I fell onto a glass table beside our pool...
    AquilaAqua AquilaAqua 13-15, M 5 Responses Sep 5, 2013

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