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I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,173 People

    Really??? I Did'nt Sign Up For This!!!

    Being me, well practicaly sucks... Yeah i know, positive thinking?? But, i mean, somewhere you just have to accept reality, and with that comes the obivous realisation that Karma, bad luck and murphies law, know you personaly! Or let me rephrase, you can't seem to be doing...
    Krieks Krieks 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 17, 2012

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    I just punched the wall

    and broke the glass this **** his he'll
    FrozenSoldier1245 FrozenSoldier1245 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 29

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    ...and by people, maybe I mean myself.

    Being in this state I am in, i think I really need to realie that I have a problem and therefore, I need to watch myself and my actions well. Lately I have been doing and saying things which I regret short time later, whether it is about disclosing secrets, sharing stuff or...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 10

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    Ruined Paradise

    I did suicide. I hanged myself with a big green power cord off our balcony. I woke up an just did it. Idk how or why that way it was like I was watching it happen like tv. I was already gone an my sisters heard it happen an cut me down. I fell onto a glass table beside our pool...
    AquilaAqua AquilaAqua 13-15, M 5 Responses Sep 5, 2013

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    I Am

    I am more depressed than people know i am always laughting and smiling but deep down iam so depressed . depresion you cant contole it like oh just be happy , ive had people sa that to me and its just not the answer . its something you cant change . my depression is...
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F 14 Responses Apr 12, 2010

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    That awful kind of sad were you don't want to

    do anything, you feel that kind of numbing sad and you feel like you are going to be physically sick.
    Darkerthanlightash Darkerthanlightash 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Yep, here I go again.

    Just like in high school but probably worse this time because I have no one to force me to eat or to go to class or practice. It's just me now. Which really isn't that different than before because I never told anyone I was having really bad depression. Nobody knew. Not my...
    looee looee 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 24

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    I Can't Hide My Hurt Anymore

    I try to live the normal life and smile and pretend that all is ok with me but I feel like my life is never going to be right. I'm 30 yrs old with no kids I have a wonderful home and all that but I cope with this deep hurtful feeling because I think I can not have kids this is...
    Ckane81 Ckane81 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 2, 2012

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    I don't want nobody to know I am depressed.

    Nobody have a thing about my life. I am the only one who can decide what is better. The biggest problem of exposing my feelings is that everybody thinks that they know the best. I don't want a help, I don't want a solution that you think it would work. I just need to be...
    roberamar roberamar 22-25, M 2 days ago

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    The stuff I write on here compared to how I act

    in person, is so different in mood. I wish the real me, that is here, was more like how I try and portray myself in real life: happy. I often to feel happy. So, I don't feel like I'm constantly depressed. But, with that being sad, I post more things to vent than I want. I'm...
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21, F Jul 17

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    I feel so down and I don't know why.

    My life has become about trying to feel ok but I just end up feeling really bad. I'm blessed with good health and a comfortable life and I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I don't know why I feel so bad.
    100akerwoods 100akerwoods 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 11

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    Because me helps them.

    And me learned plenty. So they say why sad and soowyhsydal.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Nov 6

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    everyone just thinks I am happy all the time.

    .. truth is I am never happy. I'm depressed... always have been and always will be!😔
    ItsRyyman ItsRyyman 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 26

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    I'm depressed and today was one of those days

    when I just couldn't overcome it. I had a really disturbing dream last night and when I woke up this morning I couldn't get the image of a burned body out of my head. A very familiar darkness started clouding my thoughts and feelings and I suddenly realised that I didn't have...
    LorelaiSky LorelaiSky 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 28

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    No one in my family knows how deep my

    depression runs, they don't have a clue that I have suicidal thoughts sometimes, I would never take my life as I don't want to hurt my family, but it is getting increasingly difficult to make it through each day, I am so tired of the fight to drag myself out of bed and struggle...
    Dixiechic66 Dixiechic66 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 21

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    These memories never seem to fade.

    . The hurt never goes away.. No matter how hard I try, peace never stays... I'd love a resolution, but nothing eases my mind.. I truly know that i'm engaged to this hurt, and we seem to be loyal... But i'm not happy.. These days, it's been so hard for me to walk, because I know...
    ShallowDreamers ShallowDreamers 22-25, M 2 Responses Sep 11

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    I Hate It Here

    I'm so angry and frustrated. I hate it here so bad. I hate this place I try to be strong for everyone that's how my dad taught me how to live. Today me and him were doing our workouts. I never knew how to do a pushup but I didn't want him to know. He kept on telling me to and...
    Pinklace44 Pinklace44 13-15, F Jul 21, 2012

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    It appears I've gotten better at putting up

    with the pain. No one can tell that things have started to crumble again. My support system is down and I lack friends who I can talk to openly and regularly. This stagnant mood isn't helping much either. I hope you (whoever you are) are ok, and dealing with the pain much better...
    Khaleesi18 Khaleesi18 18-21, F Oct 16

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    I'am Depressed And Think I'am Losing My Mind

    life sucks! not knowing if i want to live any more or not in it's self is scary.i've been this way for a long time. i've been on meds. since 1995 i have had about all the drugs for depression but i still think of killing my self one day when i finaly get to tried to fight. i love...
    realmckoy realmckoy 51-55 2 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    This Is Not Easy

    It seems lately my depression comes in waves. Like I can wake up feeling ok, just enough to go trough the day, and then this wave comes crushing me. I try to shake it out, to be positive as much as I can, but most of the time I end up failing. Right now I cant get rid of this...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 6, 2012

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    You can travel around,

    you can run in marathons, you can hike at the most exotic locations , take selfies with the most amazing food and drinks served in front of you.. But you will still be not into it completely.. Thoughts racing constantly not allowing you to enjoy what you are doing .. How can...
    uselessguy uselessguy 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 13

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    Just Letting It Out.

    After losing my partner to infidelity through my child catching her in the act. I lost the plot and threatened to kill her. I went to jail and suffered dearly. Ive overcome drugs and other partners cheating on me in the past also ive just recently beaten a disease. Im completely...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 8, 2011

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    I've had some serious moments

    where I totally spaced out and it seemed like I was crazy or schizophrenia, but really Im ultimately anxious and depressed. I have a psychotic disorder but haven't been diagnosed yet. My fam knows what Im experiencing, only thing they don't know the magnitude of it. Its like...
    troubledflight troubledflight 22-25, M Sep 13

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    I have always been the happy,

    go-lucky type of person. I always had a smile on my face...even now i smile more than the usual person, and to most i seem to be the same person but I am not. Maybe some part of me has been jaded by life, but I no longer view the world as I once did. When I started being...
    babybop12 babybop12 18-21, F Oct 15

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    Nothing Saves Me.

    I am all alone although someone holds me while I cry. Maybe I am way more depressed than people realize. Maybe that's the saddest f ucking thing that makes me lose all my hope.
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 18, 2011

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    Things were going so well

    for me I nearly thought I had beaten depression for good. Not so. What is it about depression that takes you from being the happiest person alive to holding a knife against your wrists in seconds? I'm not saying that is what I am doing, it isn't. But going from the most...
    AnomalousEarthling AnomalousEarthling 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 11

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    I often feel like I have no one.

    I am trying to make it on my own which is a good feeling to have and something to be proud of. I don't really lean on anyone and that can be empowering; however, it can also be really exhausting not have anyone, even just for a day, someone that you can go to for advice, to...
    cowboyspikespeigal cowboyspikespeigal 26-30, M 1 Response Nov 16

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    I need a co-writer for a realistic drama novel

    about a woman in prison SO BADLY. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM BEGGING YOU
    marcuscash marcuscash 18-21, T Sep 21

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    And yet again, this obscure feeling attacks

    again. I sincerely don't know if I'll ever succeed attaining inner peace. That is, I am trying to stabilize my self, for instance: I took a course at the University in History and really it's great, interesting stuff, it's just that by doing so, I've created this premature...
    Matoy Matoy 16-17, M 1 Response Oct 24

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    I know that it doesn't solve anything,

    but I would honestly rather die than be me. I would rather do that than me bothering people, than me disappointing people, than me living.
    jordins22 jordins22 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 13

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    One minute I'm laughing the next minute I'm sad.

    The only thing that remains the same is the loathe I have for my self & my situation
    Rosebox Rosebox 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 1

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    I am at school and I have this feeling

    that everyone wants me to die. I hate it. It's killing me from the inside.
    FrozenSoldier1245 FrozenSoldier1245 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 25

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    I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

    .Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. I've been on antidepressants that long too. It should be an old friend by now. Right? People who are not or have never been deeply depressed can't understand why you don't just "snap out of it", "you have so much...
    BCBoomer58 BCBoomer58 56-60, F 14 Responses May 23, 2010

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    The scariest thing is

    that I've gotten soooo damn good and pretending that some days I don't even realize just how sad I am. I had to force myself to smile because I was sick of people asking me what was wrong. I often felt that people were thinking omg, she's STILL sad. Nobody understands....
    JnyJny JnyJny 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    I Need Help And I Don't Know Where To Go

    I am supposed to be the strong person.  I am so sad lately and I just want to curl up in a ball and just cry.  I have become an almost hermit.  I go to work and then home again.  I have nearly cut off contact with all close friends and family.  I am not suicidal, but I have...
    pm1985 pm1985 41-45 2 Responses May 12, 2011

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    No More Strength

    [Hi! this is my first time ever sharing about me with other people] There's no one who really understands me. Maybe there's a few people who care about me, for example my parents. But there's no one who can help me out. Some people who know that I'm depressed keep saying that...
    VIKTOR5932 VIKTOR5932 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Imagine!

    Think of the darkest place you could be. No answers no way out. Just dark. A feeling of doom, dread and no way out. You can't tell anyone because you would be thrown in a place you don't want to go. That is how I feel.
    AlnAlli AlnAlli 46-50, M 2 Responses May 2, 2011

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    Of Course...

    ...because no one REALLY wants to know how depressed and sad you are all the time. What a buzzkill, they say. So you put on a happy face, or at the very least a neutral face, and pretend that you're just a "little sad" or "grumpy" at that moment. But oh no, don't act that way for...
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 5 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    I'm 29. Got divorced a year ago

    because my husband was cheating on me. The guy I was dating just dumped me. I can't trust anyone. My heart is constantly broken. I feel like the only way out of the pain is death. I have nothing to live for. No children, won't ever find anyone that truly loves me. I'm just done...
    Courtney0110 Courtney0110 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 6

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    My best friend got his girlfriend pregnant.

    They're both 16. He can't take this anymore, neither can I. We just...don't know which way to go.
    GreenManley GreenManley 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 21

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    Rosebox Rosebox 18-21, F Nov 1

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    Liquid Hope

    I have battled with this before...for a couple of years now, actually. I've learned to put on the smile, the laugh, the flirt...all as a cover. I have had moments of happiness here and there...but they are fleeting, few and far now. I've mastered the looks...I had to. For work...
    amodelcitizen amodelcitizen 36-40, M 4 Responses May 18, 2013

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    :))) I'm fine. :) I'll stay happy

    for you. So, you don't have to deal with me.
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    SingItForTheKids SingItForTheKids 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 18

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    Now that I'm feeling my meds start to kick in,

    Im going to sign out and TRY to rest...
    Rosebox Rosebox 18-21, F Nov 1

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    Irony

    A man I know quite well became prone to bouts of deep depression, bordering on suicide. In desperation, he sought the services of a psychologist, telling them: "I seem to see nothing but shadows and darkness everywhere; the world seems so full of anger, horror and evil...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 10 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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    Why ......

    Yesterday I have disappointed with my man, and today my parents do same things to me. My father scream out to me in front of my all family and say that I'm a fool and trouble maker. Then my mother say that my father very hate me. It makes me feel more depressed than before, and...
    azmya azmya 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 6, 2013

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    This is not me. I use to be the girl

    that always wore makeup and went shopping every weekend. I use to have a best friend. I use to love to go out. Now I'm the TORAL OPPOSITE. I feel like the old me is someone I'll never know again.
    Rosebox Rosebox 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 1

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    I thought I was just sad

    but realized that I already have the symptoms of depression a long time ago. And it's getting worst.
    EClara EClara 18-21, F Nov 5

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    I Hide It Well

    I hide the pain behind a smile. And I've done a good job. But now that I yearn for help, no one can hear me
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2010

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    Everyone I know is against me.

    .. They call me things and I began cutting, and now I can't stop when I have a sharp blade in my hand...
    MaRcO102 MaRcO102 13-15, M 2 Responses Nov 16

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