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I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,657 People

    No More Strength

    [Hi! this is my first time ever sharing about me with other people] There's no one who really understands me. Maybe there's a few people who care about me, for example my parents. But there's no one who can help me out. Some people who know that I'm depressed keep saying that...
    VIKTOR5932 VIKTOR5932 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    everyone just thinks I am happy all the time.

    .. truth is I am never happy. I'm depressed... always have been and always will be!😔
    ItsRyyman ItsRyyman 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 26, 2014

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    I've been so depressed

    since I turned 17. I cried almost everyday with too much pressure and stress from the surrounding. Sometime I find no hope in life, and I just wanna end it. Somehow on my other side,I just hope to seek for something to light up my life. I don't know what my parents think...
    Julietxxx Julietxxx 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    This Is Not Easy

    It seems lately my depression comes in waves. Like I can wake up feeling ok, just enough to go trough the day, and then this wave comes crushing me. I try to shake it out, to be positive as much as I can, but most of the time I end up failing. Right now I cant get rid of this...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 6, 2012

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    I've been quite good at making people believe

    that I have control. Most of them know I'm a bit, as they would say, sad and down sometimes. But I kept my real feelings to myself. I got the diagnos PTSD last year and after that I stopped seeing my psychologist. It just got to real. After that I felt pretty good, I even...
    StEaMa StEaMa 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 7

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    I know a lot of people on here don't believe in

    God, but I could seriously use some prayers right now.
    Rachel335 Rachel335 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 21

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    I used to be cheery and bubbly.

    . I could never really snap at anyone and I forgove so easily like it's the only thing I could do. I had a lot of friend I used to hang out with.. Those words.. Used to.. Now, I'm a loner. I snap a lot. I'm very mean and sarcastic. People say I don't take the "chill pill" anymore...
    PureLies PureLies 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 5, 2014

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    Insomniac77 Insomniac77 18-21, M 3 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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    Okay, so I had a talk.

    (I don't know why) with my brother about me, being gay. I don't know what I said or what made him think about it, but, I confessed to him my thoughts, well, then he says: maybe you're not gay. I mean you've had brain issues. (PM me if you want to know. 22-30 ONLY!! AND NO! I...
    deademotion11 deademotion11 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 25, 2014

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    I know the best way to feel better would be to

    tell the people who care about me, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm lucky enough to have a few of those in my life, it's just that they all seem to be really busy, or they have problems of their own. Me and my feelings don't seem to be important enough to bother...
    SminkyPinky SminkyPinky 36-40, M Feb 22

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    I used to be a good and sincere guy.

    But then bullying and emotional home violence and then continued failure broke me. Now I don't have anybody to share how I feel. I need dire help. I've lost all my friends and now I've superficial friends with whom I stay so that not to seen as a total loner and stalker. I haven...
    anshul2gaikwad anshul2gaikwad 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 21

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    When I was a teen I thought about taking my

    life, and tried a couple times. Now I realize that death would be too good for me and I should just suffer.
    Quaranova Quaranova 18-21, F Dec 22, 2014

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    I'm depressed and today was one of those days

    when I just couldn't overcome it. I had a really disturbing dream last night and when I woke up this morning I couldn't get the image of a burned body out of my head. A very familiar darkness started clouding my thoughts and feelings and I suddenly realised that I didn't have...
    LorelaiSky LorelaiSky 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2014

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    The saddest thing about betrayal is,

    it doesn't come from enemies. I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger then what I feel. The only reason you won't let go of what is making you sad is because it was the only thing that made you happy. Isn't it sad when you get hurt so much, that you can finally say "I'm used...
    CheerleaderEm CheerleaderEm 18-21, F Mar 1

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    Just Letting It Out.

    After losing my partner to infidelity through my child catching her in the act. I lost the plot and threatened to kill her. I went to jail and suffered dearly. Ive overcome drugs and other partners cheating on me in the past also ive just recently beaten a disease. Im completely...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 8, 2011

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    The stuff I write on here compared to how I act

    in person, is so different in mood. I wish the real me, that is here, was more like how I try and portray myself in real life: happy. I often to feel happy. So, I don't feel like I'm constantly depressed. But, with that being sad, I post more things to vent than I want. I'm...
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21 Jul 17, 2014

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    recovering sucks more

    than I thought it would ??
    recoveringteen00 recoveringteen00 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 21

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    These memories never seem to fade.

    . The hurt never goes away.. No matter how hard I try, peace never stays... I'd love a resolution, but nothing eases my mind.. I truly know that i'm engaged to this hurt, and we seem to be loyal... But i'm not happy.. These days, it's been so hard for me to walk, because I know...
    ShallowDreamers ShallowDreamers 22-25, M 5 Responses Sep 11, 2014

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    I feel so down and I don't know why.

    My life has become about trying to feel ok but I just end up feeling really bad. I'm blessed with good health and a comfortable life and I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I don't know why I feel so bad.
    100akerwoods 100akerwoods 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 11, 2014

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    even that everything in my life looks fine ,

    im very depressed girl .. :( i feel very bad and i dont know why. im tired acting like im fine when im really dead inside ..
    neyah20 neyah20 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 7

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    Irony

    A man I know quite well became prone to bouts of deep depression, bordering on suicide. In desperation, he sought the services of a psychologist, telling them: "I seem to see nothing but shadows and darkness everywhere; the world seems so full of anger, horror and evil...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 10 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F Mar 6

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    That awful kind of sad were you don't want to

    do anything, you feel that kind of numbing sad and you feel like you are going to be physically sick.
    Darkerthanlightash Darkerthanlightash 16-17, F Nov 23, 2014

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    I'm just so tired. Everything I do

    now wears me out, even the smallest things make me want to sleep for a long time. I was hoping it'd be over after the last time, but what they say is true; the rate of becoming depressed again will get higher and higher. I want it to just stop. I want to be normal, able to enjoy...
    absenceofsound absenceofsound 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 25

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    I often feel like I have no one.

    I am trying to make it on my own which is a good feeling to have and something to be proud of. I don't really lean on anyone and that can be empowering; however, it can also be really exhausting not have anyone, even just for a day, someone that you can go to for advice, to...
    cowboyspikespeigal cowboyspikespeigal 26-30, M Nov 16, 2014

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    Of Course...

    ...because no one REALLY wants to know how depressed and sad you are all the time. What a buzzkill, they say. So you put on a happy face, or at the very least a neutral face, and pretend that you're just a "little sad" or "grumpy" at that moment. But oh no, don't act that way for...
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 5 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    I put on this mask for the world to see.

    .I'm not this extremely happy Kaylee. I cry myself to sleep a lot of nights and just feel so alone. No one understands and no one seems to care so I keep it to myself.
    Kayleehere Kayleehere 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 21

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    nobody knows me anymore,

    if they did they'd drop me like that. Because I'm crazy I here voices in my head telling me to kill me self take that drug etc, if I sleep I have nightmares , I lose sleep for days at a time, people I love keep dying my life's a mess I need help
    Bigwillyk Bigwillyk 13-15, M 5 Responses Mar 21

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    The razor won't save you from the pain,

    you still feel alone you still feel ashamed. The blood calms the moment, the red colors your life cause nothing's as good as the cool of a knife. The first time is deceitful, you'll feel better then worse, you know it was stupid but your thoughts have dispersed. A moment of calm...
    Starvin9Artist1 Starvin9Artist1 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 8

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    This is me to a T. But I'm hoping

    since my life seems like it is finally coming together how I want it to, I'll truly be happy again soon.
    NicciRose33 NicciRose33 18-21, F Mar 22

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    I have all symptoms of depression

    and I am losing weight....I have lost all interest in anything. nothing amuses me. I need help. I don't like smiling either...
    bunnyrabti78 bunnyrabti78 18-21 2 Responses Mar 21

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    ...and by people, maybe I mean myself.

    Being in this state I am in, i think I really need to realie that I have a problem and therefore, I need to watch myself and my actions well. Lately I have been doing and saying things which I regret short time later, whether it is about disclosing secrets, sharing stuff or...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 10, 2014

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    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    A while ago, my teacher found a suicide letter

    I wrote during class and she told me that she would tell my parents. I'm not sure if she has or hasn't. I'm really worried about how my parents'll react when or if they find out.
    xXxWildOnexXx xXxWildOnexXx 13-15, F 4 Responses Feb 24

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    The scariest thing is

    that I've gotten soooo damn good and pretending that some days I don't even realize just how sad I am. I had to force myself to smile because I was sick of people asking me what was wrong. I often felt that people were thinking omg, she's STILL sad. Nobody understands....
    JnyJny JnyJny 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 20, 2014

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    Sometimes I wish I could just fly far away from

    home and come back 4 years later..... Maybe it's just me but I'm starting to feel and say to myself the whole idea of having a strong relationship with your parents is overrated.... I'm just so tired and frustrated with life... I live with my aunt and uncle because my dear...
    HeartStrings3 HeartStrings3 18-21, F Feb 24

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    when something bad happens,

    I no longer cry. I just sit there and feel numb
    recoveringteen00 recoveringteen00 13-15, F 6 days ago

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    I know that it doesn't solve anything,

    but I would honestly rather die than be me. I would rather do that than me bothering people, than me disappointing people, than me living.
    jordins22 jordins22 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 13, 2014

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    People around me know

    that I have a tendency to get depressed and be sad. But it still hurts when people ask what's wrong and I give an honest answer, "I'm depressed.", and they reply you're always depressed. The someone else will say why are you depressed, and in all honesty I can't verbalize it...
    poopy0219 poopy0219 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    I don't know how to get passed this depression,

    it's completely taken over my whole being. Like I've been thrown into a pit 1000 miles deep with no hope of escape. No one can hear my screams echoing off the walls cause my the time it reaches the surface it has long dissipated. They pass by this pit with no idea that someone...
    Starvin9Artist1 Starvin9Artist1 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    Ive been even more quiet

    and even more distant. No one knows or cares to realize just how depressed I really am.
    underageloner underageloner 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 25, 2014

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    Liquid Hope

    I have battled with this before...for a couple of years now, actually. I've learned to put on the smile, the laugh, the flirt...all as a cover. I have had moments of happiness here and there...but they are fleeting, few and far now. I've mastered the looks...I had to. For work...
    amodelcitizen amodelcitizen 36-40, M 3 Responses May 18, 2013

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    :))) I'm fine. :) I'll stay happy

    for you. So, you don't have to deal with me.
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21 1 Response Jun 3, 2014

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    Ruined Paradise

    I did suicide. I hanged myself with a big green power cord off our balcony. I woke up an just did it. Idk how or why that way it was like I was watching it happen like tv. I was already gone an my sisters heard it happen an cut me down. I fell onto a glass table beside our pool...
    AquilaAqua AquilaAqua 13-15, M 4 Responses Sep 5, 2013

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    I've got 11 more days of being 15

    and then I turn 16, I feel like I'm getting older to fast, I also just am ready to give up, so many things are happening and It's hard to keep up. I'm SO tired, I am exhuasted from the moment I get up till the moment I go to sleep, I could for sleep 10 hours, stay up for an hour...
    RyRyOfAwesomeness RyRyOfAwesomeness 16-17, M 4 Responses Jan 29

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    I'm tired of wearing these masks.

    I keep everything to myself and pretend that I'm okay. I don't let people in is because I don't want people's sympathy, I don't want your pity, and I don't want to be judged I just want empathy, I just want to feel loved, I just want to be happy.
    benj3 benj3 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 28

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