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I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,466 People

    I Hide It Well

    I hide the pain behind a smile. And I've done a good job. But now that I yearn for help, no one can hear me
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2010

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    This Is Not Easy

    It seems lately my depression comes in waves. Like I can wake up feeling ok, just enough to go trough the day, and then this wave comes crushing me. I try to shake it out, to be positive as much as I can, but most of the time I end up failing. Right now I cant get rid of this...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 6, 2012

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    I used to be cheery and bubbly.

    . I could never really snap at anyone and I forgove so easily like it's the only thing I could do. I had a lot of friend I used to hang out with.. Those words.. Used to.. Now, I'm a loner. I snap a lot. I'm very mean and sarcastic. People say I don't take the "chill pill" anymore...
    PureLies PureLies 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 5, 2014

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    I'am Depressed And Think I'am Losing My Mind

    life sucks! not knowing if i want to live any more or not in it's self is scary.i've been this way for a long time. i've been on meds. since 1995 i have had about all the drugs for depression but i still think of killing my self one day when i finaly get to tried to fight. i love...
    realmckoy realmckoy 51-55 2 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    I've got 11 more days of being 15

    and then I turn 16, I feel like I'm getting older to fast, I also just am ready to give up, so many things are happening and It's hard to keep up. I'm SO tired, I am exhuasted from the moment I get up till the moment I go to sleep, I could for sleep 10 hours, stay up for an hour...
    RyRyOfAwesomeness RyRyOfAwesomeness 16-17, M 4 Responses Jan 29

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    I've been so depressed

    since I turned 17. I cried almost everyday with too much pressure and stress from the surrounding. Sometime I find no hope in life, and I just wanna end it. Somehow on my other side,I just hope to seek for something to light up my life. I don't know what my parents think...
    Julietxxx Julietxxx 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    The stuff I write on here compared to how I act

    in person, is so different in mood. I wish the real me, that is here, was more like how I try and portray myself in real life: happy. I often to feel happy. So, I don't feel like I'm constantly depressed. But, with that being sad, I post more things to vent than I want. I'm...
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21 Jul 17, 2014

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    I often feel like I have no one.

    I am trying to make it on my own which is a good feeling to have and something to be proud of. I don't really lean on anyone and that can be empowering; however, it can also be really exhausting not have anyone, even just for a day, someone that you can go to for advice, to...
    cowboyspikespeigal cowboyspikespeigal 26-30, M Nov 16, 2014

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    I used to be a good and sincere guy.

    But then bullying and emotional home violence and then continued failure broke me. Now I don't have anybody to share how I feel. I need dire help. I've lost all my friends and now I've superficial friends with whom I stay so that not to seen as a total loner and stalker. I haven...
    anshul2gaikwad anshul2gaikwad 18-21, M Feb 21

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    I Am Depressed More Than People Realize

    .Depression has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. I've been on antidepressants that long too. It should be an old friend by now. Right? People who are not or have never been deeply depressed can't understand why you don't just "snap out of it", "you have so much...
    BCBoomer58 BCBoomer58 56-60, F 14 Responses May 23, 2010

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    :))) I'm fine. :) I'll stay happy

    for you. So, you don't have to deal with me.
    JadedDivinity JadedDivinity 18-21 1 Response Jun 3, 2014

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    The scariest thing is

    that I've gotten soooo damn good and pretending that some days I don't even realize just how sad I am. I had to force myself to smile because I was sick of people asking me what was wrong. I often felt that people were thinking omg, she's STILL sad. Nobody understands....
    JnyJny JnyJny 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 20, 2014

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    Just Letting It Out.

    After losing my partner to infidelity through my child catching her in the act. I lost the plot and threatened to kill her. I went to jail and suffered dearly. Ive overcome drugs and other partners cheating on me in the past also ive just recently beaten a disease. Im completely...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 8, 2011

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    Of Course...

    ...because no one REALLY wants to know how depressed and sad you are all the time. What a buzzkill, they say. So you put on a happy face, or at the very least a neutral face, and pretend that you're just a "little sad" or "grumpy" at that moment. But oh no, don't act that way for...
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 5 Responses Feb 13, 2011

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    The saddest thing about betrayal is,

    it doesn't come from enemies. I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger then what I feel. The only reason you won't let go of what is making you sad is because it was the only thing that made you happy. Isn't it sad when you get hurt so much, that you can finally say "I'm used...
    CheerleaderEm CheerleaderEm 16-17, F 4 hrs ago

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    I put on this mask for the world to see.

    .I'm not this extremely happy Kaylee. I cry myself to sleep a lot of nights and just feel so alone. No one understands and no one seems to care so I keep it to myself.
    Kayleehere Kayleehere 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 21

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    Ruined Paradise

    I did suicide. I hanged myself with a big green power cord off our balcony. I woke up an just did it. Idk how or why that way it was like I was watching it happen like tv. I was already gone an my sisters heard it happen an cut me down. I fell onto a glass table beside our pool...
    AquilaAqua AquilaAqua 13-15, M 4 Responses Sep 5, 2013

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    I feel so down and I don't know why.

    My life has become about trying to feel ok but I just end up feeling really bad. I'm blessed with good health and a comfortable life and I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I don't know why I feel so bad.
    100akerwoods 100akerwoods 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 11, 2014

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    I Am

    I am more depressed than people know i am always laughting and smiling but deep down iam so depressed . depresion you cant contole it like oh just be happy , ive had people sa that to me and its just not the answer . its something you cant change . my depression is...
    lunnas lunnas 41-45, F 14 Responses Apr 12, 2010

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    Been getting worse lately.

    Working from home has its advantages but it does become depressing. I'm alot sadder then I lead others to belive. I don't want to stress them out with my issues. I'm not selfish like that.
    Averageguy41074 Averageguy41074 36-40, M 6 days ago

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    everyone just thinks I am happy all the time.

    .. truth is I am never happy. I'm depressed... always have been and always will be!😔
    ItsRyyman ItsRyyman 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 26, 2014

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    I don't know what is the purpose of my life.

    I feel so depressed, left alone, my family can't understand my feelings. Instead I'm being rebuked for something I never did. I never really understood what a happy family actually means, all I've seen since I'm a little girl are threats, fights, violence etc.. Sometimes I...
    exhuberantviolet exhuberantviolet 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    A while ago, my teacher found a suicide letter

    I wrote during class and she told me that she would tell my parents. I'm not sure if she has or hasn't. I'm really worried about how my parents'll react when or if they find out.
    XxDyingSoulxX XxDyingSoulxX 13-15, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    Irony

    A man I know quite well became prone to bouts of deep depression, bordering on suicide. In desperation, he sought the services of a psychologist, telling them: "I seem to see nothing but shadows and darkness everywhere; the world seems so full of anger, horror and evil...
    amberdextrous amberdextrous 51-55, M 10 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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    ...and by people, maybe I mean myself.

    Being in this state I am in, i think I really need to realie that I have a problem and therefore, I need to watch myself and my actions well. Lately I have been doing and saying things which I regret short time later, whether it is about disclosing secrets, sharing stuff or...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 10, 2014

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    I don't want nobody to know I am depressed.

    Nobody have a thing about my life. I am the only one who can decide what is better. The biggest problem of exposing my feelings is that everybody thinks that they know the best. I don't want a help, I don't want a solution that you think it would work. I just need to be...
    roberamar roberamar 22-25, M Nov 24, 2014

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    I'm not attention seeking like those girls at

    school or the ones on Instagram . Everyone thinks I'm happy ... Lol . I exist ... but none of my friends or family seem to really take notice into that . Can anyone relate ... ?
    KatelynKillz KatelynKillz 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 21

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    Don't Wanna Feel Vulnerable

    no body truly knows who i am yet people seem to think they have me figured out. i just have my guard up all the time and always try to put a smile on my face. its often not genuine but i refuse to let people see how sad i am or feel sorry for me. noww i know my problems are not...
    ullnevakno ullnevakno 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2010

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    I'm tired of wearing these masks.

    I keep everything to myself and pretend that I'm okay. I don't let people in is because I don't want people's sympathy, I don't want your pity, and I don't want to be judged I just want empathy, I just want to feel loved, I just want to be happy.
    benj3 benj3 16-17, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    For example, today is my birthday

    and I'm not happy because what's the point? I know people don't remember it's my birthday but I remember theirs. It's disappointing and sad but they remember my twins birthday.
    vaashapenin vaashapenin 16-17, F 4 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    I'm depressed and today was one of those days

    when I just couldn't overcome it. I had a really disturbing dream last night and when I woke up this morning I couldn't get the image of a burned body out of my head. A very familiar darkness started clouding my thoughts and feelings and I suddenly realised that I didn't have...
    LorelaiSky LorelaiSky 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2014

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    people don't really realise seeing me at first

    because I act so happy but I am hurting a lot and that's the worst part because I know I'm putting on a mask but they just don't ask and think I'm happy
    Elmaevana Elmaevana 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 21

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    These memories never seem to fade.

    . The hurt never goes away.. No matter how hard I try, peace never stays... I'd love a resolution, but nothing eases my mind.. I truly know that i'm engaged to this hurt, and we seem to be loyal... But i'm not happy.. These days, it's been so hard for me to walk, because I know...
    ShallowDreamers ShallowDreamers 22-25, M 4 Responses Sep 11, 2014

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    When I was a teen I thought about taking my

    life, and tried a couple times. Now I realize that death would be too good for me and I should just suffer.
    Quaranova Quaranova 18-21, F Dec 22, 2014

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    Not long ago my teachers found a suicide letter

    I wrote during school and told me that they would tell my parents and I'm not sure if they have or not so I'm really worried how my parents would react when or if they find out
    ellygrace ellygrace 13-15, F a week ago

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    I thought I was just sad

    but realized that I already have the symptoms of depression a long time ago. And it's getting worst.
    EClara EClara 18-21, F Nov 5, 2014

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    That awful kind of sad were you don't want to

    do anything, you feel that kind of numbing sad and you feel like you are going to be physically sick.
    Darkerthanlightash Darkerthanlightash 16-17, F Nov 23, 2014

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    even that everything in my life looks fine ,

    im very depressed girl .. :( i feel very bad and i dont know why. im tired acting like im fine when im really dead inside ..
    neyah20 neyah20 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 7

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    People around me know

    that I have a tendency to get depressed and be sad. But it still hurts when people ask what's wrong and I give an honest answer, "I'm depressed.", and they reply you're always depressed. The someone else will say why are you depressed, and in all honesty I can't verbalize it...
    poopy0219 poopy0219 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Insomniac77 Insomniac77 18-21, M 3 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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    I'm 29. Got divorced a year ago

    because my husband was cheating on me. The guy I was dating just dumped me. I can't trust anyone. My heart is constantly broken. I feel like the only way out of the pain is death. I have nothing to live for. No children, won't ever find anyone that truly loves me. I'm just done...
    Courtney0110 Courtney0110 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    I know the best way to feel better would be to

    tell the people who care about me, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I'm lucky enough to have a few of those in my life, it's just that they all seem to be really busy, or they have problems of their own. Me and my feelings don't seem to be important enough to bother...
    SminkyPinky SminkyPinky 36-40, M a week ago

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    Liquid Hope

    I have battled with this before...for a couple of years now, actually. I've learned to put on the smile, the laugh, the flirt...all as a cover. I have had moments of happiness here and there...but they are fleeting, few and far now. I've mastered the looks...I had to. For work...
    amodelcitizen amodelcitizen 36-40, M 3 Responses May 18, 2013

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    I'm just so tired. Everything I do

    now wears me out, even the smallest things make me want to sleep for a long time. I was hoping it'd be over after the last time, but what they say is true; the rate of becoming depressed again will get higher and higher. I want it to just stop. I want to be normal, able to enjoy...
    absenceofsound absenceofsound 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 25

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    Everyone I know is against me.

    .. They call me things and I began cutting, and now I can't stop when I have a sharp blade in my hand...
    MaRcO102 MaRcO102 13-15, M 1 Response Nov 16, 2014

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    No More Strength

    [Hi! this is my first time ever sharing about me with other people] There's no one who really understands me. Maybe there's a few people who care about me, for example my parents. But there's no one who can help me out. Some people who know that I'm depressed keep saying that...
    VIKTOR5932 VIKTOR5932 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Ive been even more quiet

    and even more distant. No one knows or cares to realize just how depressed I really am.
    underageloner underageloner 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 25, 2014

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    Okay, so I had a talk.

    (I don't know why) with my brother about me, being gay. I don't know what I said or what made him think about it, but, I confessed to him my thoughts, well, then he says: maybe you're not gay. I mean you've had brain issues. (PM me if you want to know. 22-30 ONLY!! AND NO! I...
    deademotion11 deademotion11 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 25, 2014

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    Sometimes I wish I could just fly far away from

    home and come back 4 years later..... Maybe it's just me but I'm starting to feel and say to myself the whole idea of having a strong relationship with your parents is overrated.... I'm just so tired and frustrated with life... I live with my aunt and uncle because my dear...
    HeartStrings3 HeartStrings3 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    The razor won't save you from the pain,

    you still feel alone you still feel ashamed. The blood calms the moment, the red colors your life cause nothing's as good as the cool of a knife. The first time is deceitful, you'll feel better then worse, you know it was stupid but your thoughts have dispersed. A moment of calm...
    Starvin9Artist1 Starvin9Artist1 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 8

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    I don't have any friends

    or close family. I do have a live in boyfriend of a year and a half... But even so sometimes I still just feel so alone. My mom and grandmother have been diagnosed as bipolar. I've never been diagnosed but have been to counseling before for an array of issues. I have an...
    thereallittlemermaid thereallittlemermaid 22-25, F 5 Responses a week ago

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