I Am Different Since My Mother Died

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 834 People

    My mom was my best friend

    and our lives were so intertwined . My mom had surgery and was doing well. We were to take her to rehab on Sunday May 4th and she passed away suddenly on May 3rd. We were talking one minute about how having coffee in the morning was going to her going in a Rehab, next moment...
    ac721 ac721
    51-55, F
    2 Responses May 31, 2014

    For Everyone Who's Lost Their Mother

    “You can shed tears that she is gone, or you can smile because she has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all she's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see her, or you can be full of the love you shared...
    Diablessse Diablessse
    51-55, F
    5 Responses Aug 27, 2013

    Mom died in Tijuana, Mexico May 22nd 2014

    approximately 1900, alone. Guilt overwhelms me. She should have been with me, despite our small and insignificant differences. There should have been more awareness on my part of her ways and I should have given way to them while submersing my own habits in my home. When I...
    Morandob Morandob
    46-50, M
    May 28, 2014

    I lost my mother a long time ago

    when I was only 13. I cursed God for the longest time for her death. At that time, I felt like when she died, she took a huge part of me with her. I felt like my heart got ripped out of my chest. I've moved on to become a more respectful and (semi) whole person, but the pain is...
    TheLastExile TheLastExile
    41-45, M
    Feb 2, 2016

    I Wonder

    I wonder if you would like the woman I've become, I wonder if you would like the man I chose to marry, I wonder if you know the burden I carry, I wonder if you know of the trials I have overcome, I wonder if you truly loved me, or the dna was all that tied us together, I wonder...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Dec 15, 2012

    I Still Don't Know What To Do.

    My mom died one month ago today on December 15. She had a cough for a few months but no one had any idea that she was going to die, even the six doctors we were seeing for her cough. I had just come home to visit for the day that morning, and I was cleaning my hamster's cage when...
    goldforever goldforever
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jan 15, 2012

    My mum died on the 30th june 2015 at 10 20 am.

    we was all there befor she passed away her 4 granchildren my brother and my self . But she waited for evry one to go exsept my brother and i then it seemed she just slipped away . My son was on the phone saying im one miniut away. to late i told him she obviously dident want any...
    poppits36 poppits36
    51-55, F
    Feb 2, 2016

    At least, I have been told this os the case.

    Or maybe it is that I merely no longer feel a need to wear a mask. Who knows? It's hard for me to say since I am still in apathetic mode. Perhaps that I dread what is to happen twelve hours from now. That is when my mother's "Celebration of life/Memorial" begins. She deserves...
    Myzery Myzery
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Feb 21, 2015

    I'm hurt that my father is rejecting me

    because I'm df'd. I'm gay but have been trying to turn away from it so my family will talk with me again. I'm so upset.
    1stborn1976 1stborn1976
    41-45, F
    Sep 14, 2014

    Im here because I love her,

    and im not sure what to say or do because she is so volnerable. My sister in law lost her mother when she was 6 years old my husband was 10 there father was an alcoholic for many years. She is now 30 and has a 5 yr old daughter. For the past 3 ye she has been making some...
    HopeandHeartache HopeandHeartache
    36-40, F
    Aug 21, 2014

    Always There

    Your Mother is always with you. She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every...
    Diablessse Diablessse
    51-55, F
    7 Responses Aug 31, 2013

    My Mother Died When I Was 5 Years Old

    My mother died when I was five years old. She developed a headache and my father took her to the hospital... and she never came back. She died of meningitis. I felt like I was just waiting... and waiting. I didn't understand what death was and thought that if that was where my...
    DiggDigg DiggDigg
    46-50, M
    21 Responses Feb 17, 2011


    My mom passed away on March , 17, 2010.  It´s been 21 months. Her absence has definitely changed me. My life is, and never will be the same without her.  If she could hear me,  I´d love to tell her this :   ..And I like to imagine these would be her words of comfort, if she...
    deleted deleted
    7 Responses Dec 17, 2011

    I just feel so different.

    Suddenly I don't care at all as much about what other people think of me and I don't need everyone to be my friend.
    qwertyou2 qwertyou2
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jul 24, 2015

    A Tribute To My Mother

    HER JOURNEY'S JUST BEGUNby E. BrennemanDon't think of her as gone away -her journey's just begun,life holds so many facets -this earth is only one.Just think of her as restingfrom the sorrows and the tearsin a place of warmth and comfortwhere there are no days and years.Think how...
    deleted deleted
    12 Responses Apr 24, 2011

    Tomorrow is my mother's birthday.

    The second one that I will acknowledge since her passing in December of 2014.
    Myzery Myzery
    36-40, F
    Feb 22, 2016

    March 17, 2015. Today is her fifth anniversary.

    I have thought about her all day. Miss her. I remember how much she loved life and how well she coped with it. I wish I had the same enthusiasm she had to live life happy. I hope now that she is not on this Earth she continues to be happy and spread joy around. I will always...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Mar 17, 2015

    My mom has been free twelve

    and a half weeks... i am struggling daily to understand and accept it. She was 66 and had battled a long long battle with cancer... i miss her.. of course.. i am happy, but i have lost the joy in things.. i just dont have any enjoyment of any thing.. i think i am becoming...
    Pammyau Pammyau
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 15, 2015

    Its been 3 years this coming november.

    I have changed drastically since then. I explored different relationships and they never worked out right, my BP 2 got worse and more depressive, and I go thru relationships like underwear it seems.My dad got into another relationship 2 months after she had passed. it hurt a lot...
    gotguts gotguts
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Aug 29, 2015

    I miss my MoM sHe DIED

    when I waS 10.., S9menrinb SHOT her wheN shE was cOming hOme froM WoRK
    jennysapphire jennysapphire
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Apr 11, 2016

    my mom died when I was 13 almost two years ago

    now. im 14 about to turn 15 and I have a older brother who is 18. me and my brother both live with my dad (my mom and dad were still together ) me and my dad have always had a rocky relationship... we are fine for a couple of hours but much longer and a big argument will break...
    lauraquinn lauraquinn
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Dec 28, 2014

    My Mother Died After Childbirth At 28

    My mom died at the young age of 28.  She died from complications from childbirth.  (blood clot). She never made it home from the hospital with my new born baby brother.  I remember the night before my father went to get her suitcase. It was around 8 p.m. and I was...
    rosey122 rosey122
    56-60, F
    5 Responses Jul 22, 2010

    I have lost my mum,my anchor,

    my attachment to all that was familiar to me,I have changed. My mother was Asian as I am, she was a force to be reckoned with, invincible her presence made sense of everything, now nothing and no one makes sense,I guess I'm still angry that she was taken away. I also feel guilt...
    tamipar tamipar
    2 Responses Mar 5, 2015

    It's been almost 6 years

    and I'm still grieving since my mom passed away. She was the only One who supported me in everything I do, encourages me to do more good to other people even when really hate me. Supported me in all sorts of ways. Never dragged me down like others. Always understands me. But sad...
    lanhancupto lanhancupto
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Apr 6, 2014

    Never Gonna Be The Same

    I was 9 years old, I remember the night perfectly. It was a Friday night, mom was tucking me in at 8:13 Pm, she had kissed me goodnight and said "Goodnight Ry-Ry my little soldier, i'll see you in the morning sweetie". I got up in the middle of the night to go to bathroom, I went...
    AnathemaOfTheSick AnathemaOfTheSick
    18-21, M
    6 Responses Aug 6, 2012

    Missing You...:( :( :( :(

    God looked around His garden, and found and empty place; He then looked down upon His earth, and saw your loving face. He put His arms around you, and lifted you to rest, His garden must be beautiful, He always takes His best. It's been 10 months. missing you terribly mommy. miss...
    Titan007 Titan007
    22-25, M
    5 Responses Jul 15, 2010

    I've posted here already,

    but I have to ask- does it ever get better? The comes in waves but I am never rid of the feeling of just utter discontent. It's like I've misplaced something that I can't help but look for, knowing full well she won't be found anywhere on Earth. People have told me to turn it...
    kanellos kanellos
    22-25, M
    5 Responses Jun 29, 2015

    My mom died in 2013 of breast cancer

    that spread. Her last weeks were horrible for my whole family. I feel lonely all the time even though I have my dad, daughter, brother and husband, but she was the center of our lives and held us all together and kept us in line. I have now taken on that role and it is stressful...
    karrie3373 karrie3373
    1 Response Dec 3, 2015

    My mother passed away six weeks ago.

    ...very early days I know. I don't think I will ever be the same person I was before. I miss my mum so much it breaks my heart. She didn't deserve cancer. She wasn't a bad person. How on earth am I supposed to spend the rest of my life on earth knowing that she is not here to...
    suesol suesol
    2 Responses Aug 17, 2015

    It's been 20 years since my mother died

    and I am very different from that 28 year old girl who lost her mom. I became an adult that day, found out I was much stronger than I thought I could be. Along the years, I realized that she had prepared me to face any challenge, including that of overcoming her death, she had...
    Diablessse Diablessse
    51-55, F
    8 Responses Jan 24, 2014

    my mom died about a month ago.

    I'm 18 now, she had valley fever. we weren't incredibly close, I always thought she didn't love me, and I told her so when I was 16 she spent the rest of her life trying to make up for my feeling of unloved. we lived in separate states because my parents are divorced, we visited...
    thatslovely17 thatslovely17
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 14, 2016

    March 17,2014- Her fourth anniversary.

    It´s been 4 years since mom passed away and there isn´t a day gone by that we, Missy and I, don´t think about her, talk about her and miss her terribly. I hope she is well and happy and enjoying the company of my dad,again. I trust they are protecting us . I...
    deleted deleted
    5 Responses Mar 17, 2014

    I miss my mother so much this time of the year.

    I miss her every day but so much right now. I know she's Okay where she is but the problem is I want to be with her more than living. it seems like there is always something pulling me down. For me It's the depression and anxiety. some days I think I'm doing Okay then...
    NaturesAnomaly NaturesAnomaly
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Nov 25, 2014

    My Mom Is Gone

    So, my Mother is in the hospital. She has pnemonia, a blood clot in each lung and a couple in her legs. She can't eat or drink anything, and she can't provide herself with enough oxygen. They have a picc line running into her, giving her all of her antibiotics, blood thiners and...
    raincloud520 raincloud520
    22-25, F
    10 Responses Nov 8, 2009

    My New Life

    My New Life! I hate my new life. It is another chapter in my life that I don't want to turn. It has been a month since my beloved mother left me and my family all alone. With her death a part of me has died. I am not happy ............I am not the same. I want to close my book...
    beingafriend beingafriend
    2 Responses Feb 7, 2013

    Just over 2 years ago my mom died.

    I took care of her 24 hours a day for 3 years until she passed. A few weeks later my father died. I'm 42 years old and this was my first experience losing someone close to me. I realize loss changes people but I never expected these changes to be permanent. My personality...
    Nolongersunshine Nolongersunshine
    41-45, F
    2 Responses May 14, 2015

    My children are teenagers (19

    and 15 ). My wonderful mother died last August (,2014 ) so I'm coping with that and working full time and they expect me to do everything for them aswell,they leave a mess everywhere they go etc.most upsetting of all is that they are rude to me especially the 15 year old!!! I'm...
    tamipar tamipar
    2 Responses May 19, 2015

    Life Is Definately Different...

    My mother died early 2010. It was the WORST day of my life, and i've had some super bad days. I was chatting on the phone with her when she slipped in her jacuzzi and hit her head and drown. I went to check on her and of course found her. I was screaming and crying and just...
    zipper42 zipper42
    132 Responses Jul 7, 2010

    My mother was my father's caregiver from 1989

    until his death in 2010. She refused to ever accept that his increasing disabilities would cause his death, and refused to use his DNR several times. She was angry that my sister-in-law and I flew in from different parts of the country about 5 days before my father's death...
    South1977 South1977
    56-60, F
    1 Response Jun 25, 2014

    My mom died in August of 2004.

    It was 2 weeks before my 19th birthday and I had graduated high school 2 months prior. I used to be so full of life and loved to have fun. After she died, I became responsible for my younger siblings and didn't really have time to grieve. 2 years after her death, it finally hit...
    Schoolinlife Schoolinlife
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 16, 2015

    My heart aches and I cry

    as I read your posts and describe my experience. I understand what you all are going through and I give you my deepest condolences.I am 30 years old and I am a motherless daughter. My mom passed away March 15, 2015 from uteran cancer that metastasized everywhere. She was...
    Motherlessdaughter85 Motherlessdaughter85
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Jun 23, 2015

    I Am A Different Person Since My Mom Died 2 Months Ago And Am Very Scared

    Hello and thanks for reading my story. I am a 35-year-old man who was always close with his mother. She was the light of my life since I was born. 3 years ago my father had a minor stroke and his personality changed. He and my mother became like oil and vinegar after 43 years of...
    nyc99lon09 nyc99lon09
    141 Responses Nov 18, 2010

    I just want to cry when I think I don't have a

    mother anymore . Life is really hard without you mom , it really is . I'm suffering here
    Juiceyangel333 Juiceyangel333
    26-30, F
    10 Responses Dec 28, 2014

    Life Will Never Be The Same Without Her

    My mother passed away in 2010. March 17th to be exact. I miss her terribly. Not a day goes by without me missing my mom. I sometimes see her when I visit a place she loved or wish she´d be with me when I go to a place I know she would have liked to know. The grief is endless...
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Apr 17, 2011

    Told For The First Time

    My mother went to the doctor for the first time in I don't know how long, she was tired and not eating. Thought it was blood sugar or something of that nature. She turned out to be anaemic and was sent immediately across the street to the hospital for a blood transfusion. Within...
    Dantescircle Dantescircle
    41-45, M
    8 Responses Oct 22, 2013

    Good Bye My Angel!

    I lost my dearest mother last month. she had pulmonary hypertension. We all were there but we couldn't save her. We saw her struggling for breath and she was still at 2.45 am. She was only 46. I can't believe she's gone. I used to think myself powerful but I couldn't ease her...
    Titan007 Titan007
    22-25, M
    9 Responses Nov 9, 2009

    My Mom Just Died And My Dad Is Already Seeing Someone

    This wont be a long story. Its really just for some feedback. My Mom died Feb 2011 of breast cancer.  She and my dad had been married for 55 years. They lived in the house that I grew up in  since 1975. I understand that life has to go on, and I don't expect my dad to live...
    rockyjohnson43 rockyjohnson43
    41-45, F
    56 Responses Mar 25, 2011

    How My Mother's Death Changed Me

    I used to be the happy-go-lucky type.  You know, the one who always saw the proverbial silver lining.  This all changed in a few hours. My mother and I never had a perfect relationship, but who does?  We were friends, as well as family and definitely had our share...
    callmejingles callmejingles
    41-45, F
    78 Responses Aug 20, 2008

    I have the date of my mothers death written,

    because if not I would forget. Over two years, yet I rarely think about her. I visited her grave once, and never since. Do you think I didn't love my mother? That may very well be, but this is how I feel; When I think of my mom, I feel so much pain, I push the thoughts away, and...
    Schmort Schmort
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Sep 7, 2014

    My mother died November last year

    when she went to visit her mother in there native country I had just made it there but I was too late we had to bury her back her native country next to her father and my dad left my 2 sisters and I and went to go back to his native country to find out his already married and...
    anthonysahin anthonysahin
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jul 6, 2014

    My mother died three years ago in September.

    We had taken her into the hospital when she passed out. After she got fluids in her, the nurse let us go home without seeing the doctor. This was not a good decision because my mom had been fighting cancer with chemotherapy in the hospital for months. They cleared her and let...
    kswans kswans
    1 Response Dec 28, 2014

    I lost my Mother May 2014,

    to COPD and Heart failure. I miss her so much she was my best friend who I could call anytime. We lived states apart and I didn't get to see her before she passed away. I have terrible guilt about it. I cry all the time and yes I also quit taking showers on the regular. Shortly...
    straybluekitty straybluekitty
    46-50, F
    Jan 14, 2015

    I don't know, tonight I just lost it,

    someone brought the subject of mothers up. its really ****** that all we have in life is time, the only thing we calculate someone's lifeline is how long their heart beats for a minute, Its all fun and games until the old ticker or your body gives out........ We live in...
    Arizv11 Arizv11
    22-25, M
    Jul 10, 2014

    Loss Of My Beloved Mother

    I lost my mom on Nov 14.  She had parkinsons for years but was doing ok, till we returned to NJ and she went into a nursing home.  I feel like if she was at home she would not have gotten pneumonia and died.Mom and I were close,  i always asked her advice and we were best...
    debbie8800 debbie8800
    51-55, F
    24 Responses Dec 21, 2011
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