I Am Doctor Darius Bastardo And I Approve These Stories

This is a group for stories approved by DoctorBastardo. 6 People

    That One Time At Brad's

    This one time I went to a buddy's house, I'm gonna call him Brad for the purpose of this story. I let myself in, as was the norm, and his wife (who I'll call Deb) was sitting in the living room. "Hey Mike, Brad will be out in a couple minutes," she said.  So I talked to her for...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Oct 19, 2013

    Today I'm not writing this expecting a pat on

    the back or anyone's sympathy, but I do feel it's important for people in my circle to know that there is more to me beyond a foulmouthed ***** with amazing taste in music. I do, on occasion, do the right thing. My grandmother passed away on February 1st at the age of 71...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Mar 28, 2014

    That Moment When...

    That moment when I'm having a relatively okay evening, the silver lining that everyone is always going on about. That one ray of light that pierces the cloud veil and for just a few minutes I feel like I can carry on for another day. I pick up my guitar and play along with the...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Oct 19, 2013

    Goodbye, for now. You may

    yet see me again.
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    1 Response Apr 21, 2016

    I Get It Now

    Unless the $0.20 solution becomes my only viable option or I pull some random act of dumbness that results in a fatal injury...I'll live to see pretty much everyone I knew die. I get it now.  Something someone said to me a two months before my 25th birthday when my buddy Nick...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    1 Response Nov 5, 2013

    Five Years Ago This Morning[heavily edited,

    truncated version] No matter how many times the doctor in the ER or the medics who responded say it wouldn't have mattered if you answered your phone...it still takes time to sink in.  It was nearly two years later before I finally forgave myself.  My mother still struggles...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    1 Response Dec 13, 2013

    The Blues Jam

    So this one time a couple of years ago, a former coworker convinced me to go to this blues jam with him cos he thought I'd enjoy playing bass there. I hadn't been on stage for a while, so I took him up on the opportunity. I rode with him and he started introducing me to people...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Oct 19, 2013

    The Great American Smoke Out

    The anti-smoking crowd loves the month of October. This year it's apparently Stoptober.   A few years ago I was an IT security consultant for a fairly prominent insurance company that was headquartered downtown prior to the merger.  Well, my title was IT security consultant...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    1 Response Oct 19, 2013

    GNR Sucks I profile stalked someone

    and saw they were in a group titled after a lyric from a Guns n Roses song, and a particularly ****** GNR song at that. The fact that Appetite for Destruction sold 21 million copies is not a testament to it being a good album, it's a testament to the fact that 21 million people...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    Mar 25, 2014

    I Am Tired of Not Sleeping This has been going

    on for too many days now. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do, eat or don't eat, drink or don't drink. Lights on, dimmed lights, pitch black, doesn't matter. Background noise or silence. Meditation, ************, a hot shower, a cold shower, a fist full of Advil PM, a...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Mar 25, 2014

    It's About Time It's about time to start

    calling in whatever favors I have left. I've made four such phone calls today. Today has been the day where I've had to sit down and ask myself, "Okay, who said they still owed me one, professionally speaking?" The job search still sucks, sure, but for the first time in a...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    1 Response Apr 9, 2014

    That Song I Don't Want to WriteSo the other

    morning I was laying in bed half awake waiting for the alarm to go off with chord progressions and inklings of lyrics swirling about my semi conscious mind. Those lyrics stayed in my head all day like a god damn pop song, so it was just a matter of time before I wrote them down...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Dec 9, 2013

    Burnt Waffles

    I burned my ************* toaster waffles and I am not happy about it.That is all.
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    1 Response Oct 21, 2013

    A Random Thought from Tuesday Evening.

    .. I need some some PBR and crutches. I'm gonna go cripster and play the pity card to bang all the hipster hotties in the east village. I may even need some artisanal, organic, hand carved ice to go in my mason jar full of distilled-in-some-local-guy's-bathtub gin to make this...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    Apr 19, 2016

    Random Answers

    I just found these 15 random answers written on a sheet of paper in one of my old notebooks. Anyone have the list of questions that goes with them?1)  Cleave2)  Napoleon's troops & Russia3)  President Cleveland's daughter4)  Pope Joan5)  126)  Emperor Constantine7)  Rape...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    1 Response Nov 1, 2013

    That One Time At My Last Job

    I just found this email that I CC'd my personal address on after emailing it to a former coworker and it set off a random memory of a day that was both irritating as **** and kinda funny. I'll spare you the whole story, but it was a woman who claimed to be in chemo, and her...
    DoctorBastardo DoctorBastardo
    31-35, M
    Oct 20, 2013
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