I am a survivor of drugs, of physical , mental, emotional abuse, I am the mother of a sexually abused child. ( I didnt know!) He was my soul-mate. He destroyed more than my daughter's innocence. ( But because of him, she is now a survivor of drug, physical, emotional etc etc...
An emotional crush sucks all the breath out of you and leaves you not knowing which way is up or down. All of a sudden the world is spinning out of control as you know it and what is right in front of your face does not seem real no matter if it is or not.Your insides are tearing...
Born a prince, raised in a castle
Mother was kind, father was mad
A king not above eating his young
In order to survive I grew smaller
Weaker, more bent on self destruction
With each year
Then one crimson morning
Fate hurled me into battle
Like a spear
When you reach the point in recovery that you realize that your vices weren't the cause of all of problems, and where to place the blame is no longer so cut and dry obvious, how do you know if you are being true to yourself?
The wheel turns in a blink of an eye
One moment you are down low
The next instant you're up high.
An instant to hold on and grab tightly
Slipping, more often bruised from clenching
Climbing, they say, it's all part of the journey.
I have fallen in the rabbit hole countless times...
These are the lyrics to a song off my solo release. I've been clean and sober for 11 1/2 years. I think they fit the category.
DEAD AND GONE
I don't exactly know
where I've been all this time
It's like I just woke up and
walked into someone else's life
All my friends are here but...
Can't find a reason for my heavy heart.
Can't find the source of this dread.
Made a checklist of my realities,
and thought back upon the things I've done and said.
Still no justification for this emptiness.
No Hollywood smoking gun of guilt.
Just a forgotten room with no windows...
Well I've posted this before, but I suppose I wrote it when I was down the rabbit hole.
It has only grown darker
Since the sun rose
Birds fall silent
As I pass, but follow
With intent, unblinking eyes
Flowers burn brightly
From the shadows
I kneel to...
* Author's Note : Many years ago, when we were still teenagers, my husband and I "lost a child to adoption". ( We were young, poor, and even homeless a few times. That, along with with all the issues from our past, just wouldn't have made us very...
I followed my soul to the end of infinity
and stood fast on the edge of everything
I looked back for a last look at home,but
I had to shut my eyes to see it.
I made my way to the bottom of the top
and looked at the satelites of the sun
Transfixed on the complex simplicity of...
Tired of trying
Tired of crying
Tired of being put down
Tired of being let down
Tired of struggling to keep up
Tired of struggling to live up
Tired of being picked apart
Tired of being pulled apart
Tired of never being good...
In order to see what might be, you need to make your way past all the fog, clouds or even mountains that stand in your path to hopefully a new found freedom. How fair would it be to cheat yourself out of a life that only you can obtain. It is not up to anyone else to remove those...
I can't stand this any longer I can't take it anymoreI'm only left one option - to knock on heaven's door.I hope God let's me in and take me far awayCause I just can't take it I can't go on another day.I can't stand to cry another million tearsI can't stand to go through...
At the moment there's one thing for me only one thing that will set me free I'm ready to walk straight out that door cause right now I can't take anymore. I'm not a rag just to abuse Try if you must, but I will refuse I'm a person dad, why can't you see that gradually you...
When your wife is crying,
When she feels like dying
This is what you have to do
Have a beer! This Bud’s for you.
When sex becomes a chore
Just don’t have it anymore
There’s something else you’d rather do
Have a beer...
On the wall the posters are gone ,
the grey notes have become ashes,
in the closet hidden magazines have vanished
and trying to live in a world that sometimes is lying.
Someone i know will be ''someone i knew'' ,maybe soon i hope,
staring on the wall the thoughts keep...
It took my innocence,
Took my will to live,
In turn for misery
And a shattered heart
It took one hit
And I couldn't imagine life without it
It was like everything fell into place
For a mere six hours
But it took my everything
Got me to steal from my heart(my family)
I didn't read it in a book, and I was not offended
If anthing I thought it was cool, or maybe just funny.
It was alresdy here when I joined the game and set about learning the rules
Now it made sense, all the laser eyed stares when I spoke as a friend out of turn.
* Author's note : I never title anything I write, nor do I ever"claim" it; I am one of the many "Anonymous-es" out there. ( See, "anonymous" really is a woman! LOL! ) However, in a place like this, it's sort of evident, who wrote...
*I would like to apologize in advance for it's length, simplicity, and rude quirkiness. I was 17 when I wrote this, and just had a whole hell of a lot of things going on.
i hear someone crying
but I'm all alone
( crying )
still my breath
( louder now...
Hello and Welcome -
How are you? No, really - how the hell are you? Me, I'm hangin' in... I've started this group in an effort to give folks a place to post their poems, stories, and writings about recovery...
This journey scares me,
I dont know where im going,
A sober mind should mean a happy heart,
But i feel the adrenalin wanting to go back to the start,
This journey scares me,
Not a finish line i can see,
Impatience not a virtue but thats all i know how to be,
as my hand trembels when it reaches out for help. my mouth wont speak it out. for realisation becomes rehalety when we cross that threshold. yet we stumbel down. we fall. and we hope to crash into rehalety along the way. silince inbraces us with the cold hands of a million...
I quit trying.
I quit crying.
I quit giving so much to you.
I quit caring what you do.
I quit hearing what you say.
You make no sense, anyway.
I quit feeling you, deep inside.
Now my heart knows where to hide.
I quit wishing you would choose,
To love me more than...