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I Am Dying On the Inside

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 937 People

    I'm actually dying on the inside.

    My digestive system is shutting down. I'm scared
    Yerbamate Yerbamate 26-30, M 1 Response Jul 2

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    As you can tell by my username,

    I am everyday. I see him or a reminder of him and the love we shared, the spark. I try over and over again, to be done with him, because it hurts. I am killing myself trying to not love him, I can feel my feelings and emotions, my everything be crushed. I just want him to love...
    SummertimeSadness15 SummertimeSadness15 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 22

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    Behind my smile is a hurting heart,

    Behind my laugh I’m falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am, it isn’t me…
    ProSolitude ProSolitude 26-30, F Aug 24

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    I know that I am because every time I put my

    hand on my chest (where my heart is suppose to be). I get nothing. It because of everything I keep inside is killing me and I am force to or something happened. I was have to keep quiet, always see couples make out, and always force to be alone.
    Unknown1047 Unknown1047 18-21, M Aug 28

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    I need to find my path to life.

    ..I don't know how or what to do?
    josecarlosjr josecarlosjr 31-35, M 1 Response Nov 30

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    I didn't lie about my problems.

    Just needed the people I care for out of my life. It hurts me but they are more important. I'm not going to ruin them. I've ruined enough people.
    lexrae lexrae 13-15, F Sep 15

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    Sometimes when I couldn't take it anymore,

    I think of being dead, but I don't want to be dead. I want to get away, but I don't want to leave my mother. I want to drink vodka, but either I couldn't buy one, or I feel guilty.
    jesssaying1997 jesssaying1997 16-17, F 1 Response May 6

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    Its funny i m seeing my self falling apart

    but i cant do anything !!
    ProSolitude ProSolitude 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    Why do I even try anymore?

    My mom and dad made it clear to me tonight that they hate me and want nothing to do with me. I am fine with that too. They love my siblings way more than me also. They think that I am seeking attention and I am not. They scream at me ever night that all I do is give them...
    Katier32 Katier32 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    It's funny how life works.

    .. I'm alive and well, but I'm not alive and well. The only thing keeping me alive right now is my music and my best friend. I'm slowly fading away. Just remember how vivid I used to be.
    cocoluvr99 cocoluvr99 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 8

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    whitneygarcia whitneygarcia 13-15, F Jul 8

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    It Is My Own Doing Most Of The Time

    It really is my own fault I think. My insecurities, my lack of trust, my inability to open up to ppl I care about, all this crap in MY head. It is killing my slowly..................
    TheWanderingSupertramp TheWanderingSupertramp 22-25, M Nov 13, 2009

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    I hate being in my own skin.

    I just wanna tear it all off. My skin itches, burns, and bleeds. It's begging me to tear myself from it. I can't stand living in my body. My body is my home. But I'd prefer not to have one.
    BeautyInBlack BeautyInBlack 13-15, F 3 Responses Oct 10

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    So here it goes: I married the woman of my

    dreams a year ago. I got my dream job not too long ago. And I love to run. While working a month ago I fell about 40 ft and shattered my pelvis, tailbone, and several ribs. I can't work at my dream job, I can't run anymore, and I found out my wife has been sexting her old...
    crono84 crono84 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 21

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    Lost. That is what I constantly feel.

    Everybody tells me that I should just die or kill myself, but why is it that when I try they always stop me. I cut. I love the constant burning sensation, the crimson red dotted line running down my arms,legs, or stomach as if it were a red carpet. I love it when I hurt myself...
    XxBellabixtch49xX XxBellabixtch49xX 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I don't know if people actually realize how

    much their words hurt me. I hate when someone tells me " oh you're alright" no I'm not alright dumbass I'm dying inside and you don't even give a ****! You only care about yourself. And the ones who put me through this are my friends so it hurts because they know what bothers me...
    mikaylahoguexo mikaylahoguexo 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 25

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    Not Dead Yet

    Empty and numb is how I feel most of the time. Not all the time, but mostly, yeah... numb. I get really angry sometimes though. No idea why, I just do. So I'm not dead yet but I'm definitely dying. I'm feeling pretty empty right now so sorry if this is a little subdued and...
    UnseenBlossom UnseenBlossom 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 25, 2008

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    I have been battling with the past of sexual

    abuse for the past 9 years. I don't know what to do about it. I've turned to alcohol, drugs, cutting and smoking. I've lost a lot of people because I haven't told anyone about it. Help me.
    Claryboo Claryboo 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    Pretty much nothing special about me my heart

    hurts and I cry a lot often. I know people can relate but my pain is my own. I can handle physical pain. But the pain of my emotions hurts more than anything else.
    MPost85 MPost85 26-30, M 1 Response Jul 8

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    I'm crying right now.

    I can't even...
    marissabrun803 marissabrun803 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    Nothing and I mean nothing is ok.

    ..Why wont I just die cause this is what death feels like!
    TechnoZoom55 TechnoZoom55 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 17

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    Let me tell you about a girl

    that I used to be, Same name same face but a different me, She didn't know what she was thinking, Didn't know her world was sinking, Had her dreams written on a paper in her hand, Held on tight but she didn't understand, The love and hurt that she's replacing, All the past that...
    ProSolitude ProSolitude 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 22

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    I think I will be dying soon.

    not because of my actions , but life itself appears inching in that direction. hope has been vanishing for years and now it feels like there is not much to last. I have failed to pull myself up despite many attempts. just going to allow myself drift into oblivion.
    techopeless techopeless 31-35 2 Responses Dec 11

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    Tomorrow, 2 pm, I will receive my.

    N-level results. Yayy :D
    XxSxarletxX XxSxarletxX 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    I am tired. I give up.

    Time to throw in the towel. I just cant try to feel like "normal" ppl do. Easier to disappear.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 5

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    This really nice guy I was talking to him

    for awhile and just the other day we talked about how we ready for a relationship. He's always my go to when I need help with something or I'm feeling sad and he told me I could talk to him if I was down. Well I had an argument w a friend and her bf and I told him about it and...
    mikaylahoguexo mikaylahoguexo 13-15, F Jul 31

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    Dying Inside...

    Dying inside....There are people around me, who have just died. I have been told "it happens in three" it happened last year, I lost an Aunt, an uncle, and a Family friend who I had known growing up....Its happening again this year...I lost my cousin a few weeks ago...I lost a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 2, 2010

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    All On Me

    Ever walked outside and Snow was on the Ground and you steped in it barefoot? Know the Chilling sensation you Get? That's me But ampliefied by Two-hundered Right now. Everything that I worked for. Everything that I tried so hard To prevent came Crashing down.. Watching him...
    CountryAngel CountryAngel 18-21 5 Responses Oct 28, 2008

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    On The Verge Of Losing It

    I have felt lonely and empty, but now its worse MUCH WORSE. I can't even give you a short version of the last 24 months of hell and emotional  roller coaster I've dealt with. But I can give you the short [one week events] that are leading me to my jump into insanity.I'm 24...
    thanatophobic thanatophobic 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 28, 2010

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    Anger comes to those

    who fear. Rage come to those who leer. What is fear if or escape? What is life but endless tape. Restrictions and boundaries lash you in. Folding you will so very thin, light fade as darkness rises, the fates muse as the anger rises. Death to all who hated me. Death to all who...
    emowulf emowulf 18-21, M Jun 23

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    I try not to let anything affect me I can't

    help the way I feel. I am dying inside...
    Changeallaround Changeallaround 22-25 Oct 19

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    I have no reason to live,

    everyday I feel a little worse, as if my soul was rotting.
    StupidWiseGuy StupidWiseGuy 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 3

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    I feel like I'm dead.

    .. I feel like a body just walking around… But it's not me.
    SimplyZero SimplyZero 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    ProSolitude ProSolitude 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 29

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    There was this one guy

    who told me this. " it is not about looking for love. it's about building your life and then you find true love. It will be a twisted path but eventually you'll reach it." he made me realized so many things.... everyday im so afraid to lose him, but i have to let go. From this...
    Moonembracingthesun Moonembracingthesun 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 28

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    100% of the time when I say I'm okay

    or fine I'm not I need someone, something, anything Or I just need to stop stop living my stupid life
    ImNotReallyFine ImNotReallyFine 13-15, M Aug 21

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    After a year in therapy,

    my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.' -Larry Brown If you haven't noticed the scars on my hips, Or the fake smile on my lips, Or the forced laugh I've adopted, Or the way I don't care about things I used to love, Then don't you dare stand at my...
    BeautyInBlack BeautyInBlack 13-15, F Sep 24

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    Not Even The Meds Help

    I went to my psych the other day because i'm so depressed, lethargic and have no drive for anything.  he increased my ritalin.  it still doesn't keep me awake, i'm still depressed and i'm so mad at myself for it.   I can't clean.  I take care of my daughter...
    nightismycompanion nightismycompanion 26-30, F 5 Responses Feb 4, 2010

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    Everyday I wake up I feel a part of me dies,

    I die each day, and noone cares, now I reached to the point where I don't care about anything or anyone, people just hurt me, I don't want to hear their voice, I don't wanna feel their glances, I just want to be left alone in the darkness, only me and my thoughts, me with my...
    catxfreak catxfreak 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 4

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    I want to die. I have no one there

    for me and no where to go
    walkinwonder walkinwonder 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 11

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    I've been dealing with a cheating

    now fiancé for over a year. I found out in Dec 2013 he cheated on me with 7 different women while away at school while I was pregnant and taking care of his child. After forgiving and taking him back he is still on Craigslist looking up prosititues and messaging random girls...
    supermommyof2 supermommyof2 18-21, F 7 Responses Apr 6

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    Someone please just end it I'm too cowardly

    to I'm tired of life I'm just tired
    ImNotReallyFine ImNotReallyFine 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 20

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    I really wish I never existed.

    not that I wS dead necessarily, just nonexistent. then I wouldn't have made any sort if emotional attachment to anyone or thing so I could leave this place. but then again if I was nonexistent, I wouldn't have a reason go fight the pain; there would be none. there would be no...
    aftersomeday aftersomeday 16-17, F 5 Responses Jun 4

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    Related Experiences

    im slowly dying on the inside but I smile and pretend I'm alright I can't show weakness I want people to know I'm ok
    neonpinkcupcakelover neonpinkcupcakelover 16-17, F Nov 21

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    I am not a JOKE!!! Yes, YOU!!! And your friends! Do I seriously look like one you can play around with and use, and then when you get something back, you drop? After all the things...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 2 Responses Nov 24

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    its crazy to know the littlest thing such as a cloth can trigger memories. picked up a small pouch the other day and a odd smell brought these thought along with it. most memories...
    dropitnow52 dropitnow52 18-21, F Dec 3

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    I feel like everyone hates me all the time. That I have no purpose in life. That rather than no one caring if I laid down and died some would be happy. That I deserve this. I...
    treegurl94 treegurl94 16-17, F 5 days ago

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    I was informed Wednesday that after 12 years at my job, I am being laid off my job in January, I held it together until Thursday night... even with as much anger, pain...
    ballen0420 ballen0420 36-40, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    A lot of people I know are afraid of dying... Why are they even afraid of dying if they're gonna end up dying in the end?
    Misaki7590 Misaki7590 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 1

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    There are no words to describe the sadness that you feel, saying goodbye to someone you know who is dying of cancer, and who is too young to have their life end so quickly...
    SeaSpray01 SeaSpray01 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 22

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    I am Dying I have Cirrhosis of the Liver I am an alcohol addict If I could get Marijuana it would satisfy the addiction and not kill my liver. Marijuana is illegal. Alcohol is...
    Tsuru1953 Tsuru1953 61-65