I Am Dying On the Inside

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,026 People

    Lost. That is what I constantly feel.

    Everybody tells me that I should just die or kill myself, but why is it that when I try they always stop me. I cut. I love the constant burning sensation, the crimson red dotted line running down my arms,legs, or stomach as if it were a red carpet. I love it when I hurt myself...
    XxBellabixtch49xX XxBellabixtch49xX
    16-17, F
    1 Response Apr 9, 2014

    I'm so sad. I shouldn't let myself get affected

    but here i am. I know this is a cliche but yeah this is still about love problem
    icedwithin17 icedwithin17
    26-30, F
    Jul 14, 2015

    My whole life I felt like my life was coming to

    a end. My whole life I wanted it to come to a end I do not believe in depression I don't believe that I have any kind of chemical embalance in my brain, I know the truth is I just grew up in hard living struggle after struggle. Poverty, I grew up around trash as a environment...
    bushi132001 bushi132001
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Feb 6

    It's slowly it's painful

    and it's true
    Sw33love Sw33love
    18-21, M
    Apr 6, 2015

    Pretty much nothing special about me my heart

    hurts and I cry a lot often. I know people can relate but my pain is my own. I can handle physical pain. But the pain of my emotions hurts more than anything else.
    MPost85 MPost85
    31-35, M
    1 Response Jul 8, 2014

    I have no reason to live,

    everyday I feel a little worse, as if my soul was rotting.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 28, 2015

    Everyday, the body dies slowly,

    piece at a time. Sadness only seems to speed up the process. Once happy and naive, now shivering, facing the cold reality ahead. Crying is the only way for the pain to escape.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 18, 2015

    shortfry3 shortfry3
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Apr 11, 2015

    Feeling oh so alone and broken.

    Wanting to go to him so badly but it isnt fair to him to give him this pain when i left so he could have happiness. Im dying that he let me go. Im dying that i am less than her. I was sweet, loving, honest and open. I dont understand why she deserves his love more so than i.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jun 30, 2015

    I want to die. I have no one there

    for me and no where to go
    walkinwonder walkinwonder
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 11, 2014

    I don't know if people actually realize how

    much their words hurt me. I hate when someone tells me " oh you're alright" no I'm not alright dumbass I'm dying inside and you don't even give a ****! You only care about yourself. And the ones who put me through this are my friends so it hurts because they know what bothers me...
    mikaylahoguexo mikaylahoguexo
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jun 25, 2014
    ilovenewsocks ilovenewsocks
    36-40, F
    Dec 3, 2015

    Thanks for adding me to the group .

    ..please could somebody give me some psychic insight ..I had lots of traumas in life and I have been hated and treated disrespectfully and painfully by some hateful people ..even in the last 2 years and a half lots of traumatic things have happened to me and I was picked up by...
    Inthedark16 Inthedark16
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jan 23

    Dying Inside...

    Dying inside....There are people around me, who have just died. I have been told "it happens in three" it happened last year, I lost an Aunt, an uncle, and a Family friend who I had known growing up....Its happening again this year...I lost my cousin a few weeks ago...I lost a...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Aug 2, 2010

    so what i'm gonna do

    now movies music books cleaning cooking walking anything besides meeting people today i haven't had good sleep lately horrible
    juryandrews juryandrews
    31-35, F
    Jan 7, 2015

    I feel like I'm dead.

    .. I feel like a body just walking around… But it's not me.
    SimplyZero SimplyZero
    16-17, F
    1 Response Apr 6, 2014

    I should be ashamed but I'm not

    for having an experience in prison in low Newton prison Durham in the uk ..I gone in prison on remand for five weeks until my sentencing hearing ..this was my first time in prison and It was a new experience for me ..even though staff and prisoners were nice and supportive I...
    Inthedark16 Inthedark16
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Mar 20
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 22, 2015

    Being alive is numbing me from the inside out.

    Feeling happy is temporary and so is life. Love is momentary, a fleeting experience that has lost its thrill because I know how it will end. Each day becomes blurred and I feel so empty I have to convince myself that I do exist. Sometimes I feel as though people misinterpret...
    Ceecham Ceecham
    18-21, F
    Jan 23

    Why do I even try anymore?

    My mom and dad made it clear to me tonight that they hate me and want nothing to do with me. I am fine with that too. They love my siblings way more than me also. They think that I am seeking attention and I am not. They scream at me ever night that all I do is give them...
    Katier32 Katier32
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 26, 2013

    Maybe we all are dying on the inside,

    we are just waiting for it to happen. Usually I do not write depressing things, but I just can't help it tonight.. I just wish that I could be a stronger person. I pull smiles through the day, and break down at the end. I just don't wish for others to see me cry. I always try to...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Dec 23, 2014

    We all are.... Before my granddad past away him

    self he said " from the second we are born we are dying from the second we live we slowly die"
    shaun7654 shaun7654
    13-15, M
    1 Response Feb 22, 2015

    Everyday I wake up I feel a part of me dies,

    I die each day, and noone cares, now I reached to the point where I don't care about anything or anyone, people just hurt me, I don't want to hear their voice, I don't wanna feel their glances, I just want to be left alone in the darkness, only me and my thoughts, me with my...
    Kittyxfreak Kittyxfreak
    18-21, F
    Jul 4, 2014

    I hate being in my own skin.

    I just wanna tear it all off. My skin itches, burns, and bleeds. It's begging me to tear myself from it. I can't stand living in my body. My body is my home. But I'd prefer not to have one.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 10, 2014

    i feel like every time i have flashback I die a

    little more on top of the little bit each day the memories already are taking from me.I wish i could tell but i cant id have no family any more if I did
    littleangelscared littleangelscared
    18-21, F
    Mar 7, 2015

    what do you do when you want to die

    but you can't because there is something that's stopping you from doing it so, you just can't. It's not an option. So you're stuck in this never-ending I want to die, it's never going to get better, I'm done, there's no hope anymore, it's over feeling. you've talked to strangers...
    ilovenewsocks ilovenewsocks
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Dec 4, 2015

    So here it goes: I married the woman of my

    dreams a year ago. I got my dream job not too long ago. And I love to run. While working a month ago I fell about 40 ft and shattered my pelvis, tailbone, and several ribs. I can't work at my dream job, I can't run anymore, and I found out my wife has been sexting her old...
    crono84 crono84
    31-35, M
    1 Response Aug 21, 2014

    My heart hurts. I didn't sleep much last night.

    And I can't eat. I keep breaking down and crying. I want it to end.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 27, 2015

    Anger comes to those

    who fear. Rage come to those who leer. What is fear if or escape? What is life but endless tape. Restrictions and boundaries lash you in. Folding you will so very thin, light fade as darkness rises, the fates muse as the anger rises. Death to all who hated me. Death to all who...
    emowulf emowulf
    18-21, M
    Jun 23, 2014

    there have to be martyrs anyway.

    looks like life pushed it on some people. time is running out now. there is no longer place for hate, everything vanished. i don't exist anymore, i never existed to begin with. then there shouldn't be a problem.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 22, 2015
    VindensSkygge VindensSkygge
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 14, 2015

    I was happy again for a while,

    but the depression from my past is eating me alive again.It's painful feeling it all over again,I feel like dying on the inside I told myself not to care what others think of me,but when I heard the fact my friends and loved ones who I trusted so dearly talks about me behind my...
    BurningPhoenix123 BurningPhoenix123
    13-15, F
    1 Response Feb 13

    I constantly feel that the world is wrong,

    I jumped off a bridge at my school because I wanted to hurt myself. People try to help but that just makes it a billion times worse.
    theworldiswrong theworldiswrong
    13-15, M
    3 Responses Dec 13, 2015

    Everything little thing I do is painful

    and forced. My health sucks but am trying to hang on and get better. I have been stuck in the mental health system 17 years. I am trying to get the hell out of my mom's place. I have lived on my own before with room mates is best. I just want my health back, to...
    Muzeam13 Muzeam13
    31-35, M
    Nov 8, 2015

    No matter how many times a day I feel "happy" I

    am simultaneously rotting in the inside.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 17, 2015

    I want to jump off my roof,

    so I can fly. Fly away. I feel disconnected always, like I am flying high (I don't take drugs). I have a heavy weight churning in my chest that makes me feel dead sometimes. No emotions or excitment. I just want to leave this place.
    pegpish pegpish
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jan 21

    I am tired. I give up.

    Time to throw in the towel. I just cant try to feel like "normal" ppl do. Easier to disappear.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 5, 2014

    "Death is the end of our life.

    After a good life, we should have a good death. A good death is death without pain, where you can say "I had a good life, and I can now go to the other side,'" he says. "Nowadays, death is exported to institutions, to hospitals. Death has become a lonely occasion." "If we want...
    Mags40 Mags40
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jul 23, 2015

    yesterday was the lowest point I had ever been

    at in my life. there was no way out and I was at the end. I've never felt that utterly and completely helpless and it was the scariest thing I've ever been through. But thanks to a complete stranger who went above and beyond anything they ever had to do and didn't need to do...
    ilovenewsocks ilovenewsocks
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Dec 5, 2015

    I've been dealing with a cheating

    now fiancé for over a year. I found out in Dec 2013 he cheated on me with 7 different women while away at school while I was pregnant and taking care of his child. After forgiving and taking him back he is still on Craigslist looking up prosititues and messaging random girls...
    supermommyof2 supermommyof2
    22-25, F
    6 Responses Apr 6, 2014

    I feel so empty. I feel like I'm trapped in a

    jar that can't be opened... I am so scared. I hurt myself again after 2 years of not harming myself. This time it was out of anger. Anger that I feel because of how lost I feel all the time. I feel so out of place in this world and I wish I was a tree. So I could speak my pain...
    PlanetGaia PlanetGaia
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 26, 2015

    As you can tell by my username,

    I am everyday. I see him or a reminder of him and the love we shared, the spark. I try over and over again, to be done with him, because it hurts. I am killing myself trying to not love him, I can feel my feelings and emotions, my everything be crushed. I just want him to love...
    summertimesadness16 summertimesadness16
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 22, 2014

    I can't find a reason to take my life,

    but I also can't find a reason to keep it either... depression will end up killing me soon
    isgd isgd
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jan 4

    I don't know if you can tell from my other

    posts, but I'm really sick. Really, really sick, I guess. threes no hope now. goodbye.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jul 7, 2015

    I just came back from the local job centre to

    hand in my sick notes ..I walked to there with my support worker ..it took about 5-7 mins to get there ..I had to sign my sick notes and put my national insurance number ..we were asked to sit and wait to see someone who checked on the computer and said that my benefits haven't...
    Inthedark16 Inthedark16
    36-40, F
    Mar 24

    I really wish I never existed.

    not that I wS dead necessarily, just nonexistent. then I wouldn't have made any sort if emotional attachment to anyone or thing so I could leave this place. but then again if I was nonexistent, I wouldn't have a reason go fight the pain; there would be none. there would be no...
    aftersomeday aftersomeday
    16-17, F
    4 Responses Jun 4, 2014

    Behind my smile is a hurting heart,

    Behind my laugh I’m falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am, it isn’t me…
    ProSolitude ProSolitude
    26-30, F
    Aug 24, 2014

    Let me tell you about a girl

    that I used to be, Same name same face but a different me, She didn't know what she was thinking, Didn't know her world was sinking, Had her dreams written on a paper in her hand, Held on tight but she didn't understand, The love and hurt that she's replacing, All the past that...
    ProSolitude ProSolitude
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Sep 22, 2014

    After a year in therapy,

    my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.' -Larry Brown If you haven't noticed the scars on my hips, Or the fake smile on my lips, Or the forced laugh I've adopted, Or the way I don't care about things I used to love, Then don't you dare stand at my...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 24, 2014

    I'm falling apart now,

    my love told me recently she isn't inlove with me ..we are not together ..im having a really hard time with her acting so .. Its been right at 10 years now , we have 3 children.. This is just after I lost my job late December, and then was in an accident which totaled the car...
    mattdw mattdw
    26-30, M
    Jan 21

    Someone please just end it I'm too cowardly

    to I'm tired of life I'm just tired
    ImNotReallyFine ImNotReallyFine
    16-17, M
    1 Response Aug 20, 2014

    I'm actually dying on the inside.

    My digestive system is shutting down. I'm scared
    Yerbamate Yerbamate
    26-30, M
    1 Response Jul 2, 2014

    I'm crying right now.

    I can't even...
    marissabrun803 marissabrun803
    13-15, F
    1 Response Aug 29, 2014
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