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I Am Easily Amused

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 18,939 People

    Chick Norris does not know

    where you live but he knows where you will die
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 5 Responses Sep 26, 2014

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    Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test The

    machine confessed everything
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 29, 2014

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    Ghosts sit around the campfire

    and tell Chuck Norris stories.
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 25, 2014

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    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    Never thought I would debate martial arts with

    my broseph. xP He thinks it's stupid. Lil sis is going to learn a martial art as soon as the bank account allows it. (:
    astrokitty4341 astrokitty4341 22-25, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I just saw a guy wearing a tee shirt

    that read "I cry when ugly people hold me". I wonder how he gets on when he holds himself???? O.o
    Littlemisssomebody Littlemisssomebody 31-35, F 8 Responses Feb 5

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    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 25, 2014

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    you know how ladies and kids love to put "XOXO"

    at the end of the message? so X for hugs and O for kisses? or X for kisses and O for hugs? how abt XXX? if there's XXX,then they must hve OOO? no?
    FaitAccomp1i FaitAccomp1i 70+, M Mar 20

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    Portal 2 completes me.

    What a fantasy world of such intelligence and utter frustration when you keep dropping cubes and your *** through the ground and popping up in random and completely useless spaces.
    aquakimy aquakimy 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 2

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    This Just In Well, it’s

    that time of year again, that time of year when the entire Northeast population becomes unwittingly obsessed with...the weather forecast. Unwittingly is probably not the right word--we know what’s happening--we just can’t resist getting sucked into the precipitation drama...
    Quintesse Quintesse 51-55, F 10 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    I'm like medicine. Take me twice

    before going to bed. Warning: I will cause sexiness.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 10

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    Rambling With Rum Well.

    .., don't blame me for what you're about to read. You're the one that clicked here to see it. It is a bit of an intriguing title though..., isn't it ? Of course it is. It doesn't even matter that it's the perfect title. I mean, hell...., I'm drinking Rum (3rd drink so far) right...
    TheHiker TheHiker 41-45, M 4 Responses Mar 16

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    TrippingKitty TrippingKitty 26-30 2 Responses Mar 15

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    You know, it's always great to sit

    and have a great sandwich. Life is good when you have a good sandwich.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 12

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    Wonderfully described definitions

    😄 CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco Rolled in paper With fire at one end And a fool at the other! MARRIAGE: It's an agreement Wherein A man loses his bachelors degree And a woman gains her masters CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man Multiplied by...
    AthenaJones AthenaJones 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 9

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    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 26, 2014

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    A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over,

    luckily the cop left with only a warning
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    I like to rub on soft things.

    It's just a weird thing I do xD im weird and I know it
    Bakagamer98 Bakagamer98 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 2

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    What is the difference between a tire

    and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other is a great year.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    Had sex with Chuck Norris,

    TOTALLY WORTH IT
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 8, 2014

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    Warning: Contains cucumbers.

    And squirting. "One or two plants, with SPLENDID INDEPENDENCE, seek no help from anything animate or inanimate. They distribute their seeds using entirely their own forces. The little Mediterranean Squirting Cucumber, as it ripens, fills with slimy juice. Eventually, the...
    LuxThePoet LuxThePoet 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    I stayed up all night to see

    where the sun went... Then it dawned on me.
    Jpfunjunky Jpfunjunky 31-35, M 3 Responses Sep 28, 2014

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    A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during

    a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    Chuck Norris likes his meat

    so rare he only eats unicorns
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 25, 2014

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    Absolutely loved this one: If someone you

    love leaves you, let them go.. If they come back it means no one else wanted them.. Let them go again.
    Lee124 Lee124 36-40, F 10 Responses Dec 20, 2014

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    I was making a dish that requires eggs

    and when I peeled them after boiling them, the bowl I put them in was wet. I picked up the bowl to take the eggs from the sink to the table and they started sliding around the bowl. I thought it was hilarious and just the best thing ever. My stomach hurt because I was laughing...
    StillFlawless StillFlawless 13-15, F Apr 5

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    Chuck Norris threw a grenade

    and killed fifty people then the grenade exploded
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F Sep 26, 2014

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    Rick Astley's never gonna: A) give you up B)

    let you down C) run around and desert you D) make you cry E) say goodbye F) tell a lie and hurt you G) All of the above
    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 11, 2014

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    Perhaps too easily amused?

    Today I found an old toy (Weazel Ball) and I turned it on around noon and just watched it run around until about 1:30. I only had to stop because of lunchtime. If not for that, i'd probably STILL be watching it go!
    xKaix xKaix 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 12

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    I was just watching the kids in the park

    playing frisbee when as it glided through the sky I wondered why it looked bigger and bigger ........ Then it hit me ...
    zuese zuese 46-50, M Dec 2, 2014

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    Everyone has a photographic memory.

    Some just don't have film.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Mar 22

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    Hey There Big Guy

    “Iceberg” became your fan” Okay. Fans are nice. I appreciate them, we all do. But if you’re a woman here on Ep, and you are fairly prolific, you probably don’t appreciate all of the 30 or so fans that you accumulate during the course of the average day. Some of the men...
    Quintesse Quintesse 51-55, F 29 Responses Oct 25, 2011

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    Sorry .. Not tonight honey ;) I showed this to

    my hubby and he said hey that's you.. Boooo!! I ain't like that.. Well not all the time :)
    NatCat84 NatCat84 31-35, F 6 Responses Mar 16

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    I have the best friend ever !

    !! I love her to death !!! Break her heart ? I'll break your face !! We would do anything for each other ... We are both girls too and it feels amazing BC it feels like were lovers !!! I just lover my best friend !!❤️💯
    staywithme1 staywithme1 13-15, F Mar 8

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    zuese zuese 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 10

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    I didn't like my beard at first.

    .. Then it grew on me.
    Jpfunjunky Jpfunjunky 31-35, M 6 Responses Oct 7, 2014

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    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 27, 2014

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    upextraolives upextraolives 46-50, F 4 Responses Apr 7

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    Kittenpowee Kittenpowee 31-35, F 7 Responses Oct 23, 2014

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    I was read and found a list of insults.

    This made me laugh.. Useless as the "g" in lasagna...
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Mar 8

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    A sarcastic person has a superiority complex

    that can be cured only by the honesty of humility. – Anonymous
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Mar 5

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    I don't understand people

    who say they need more "Me Time." What other time is there? Do these people spend part of their day in someone else's body? Jarod Kintz
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 1

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    EPAllie became rather shy lately.

    She contacted me twice now but doesn't have the courage to actually say anything...
    Gentle153Old Gentle153Old 26-30, M 4 Responses Apr 14

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    Quiettimeplease Quiettimeplease 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 6

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    How Women Think FINE This is the word women

    use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is...
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 20

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    Ok husband comes home from work Wife asks what

    he wants for dinner He smiles and says " you know what I want " Comes home next day and she asks and he says same thing Next day he comes home and wife is sliding down the stair rail " ha ha what are you doing ? " "Warming up you dinner :) "
    wolffive wolffive 51-55, M 4 Responses Feb 3

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