I Am Estranged From Family Members

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,340 People

    Either Way Hurts

    All I hear is how much I'm hurting my mother. Yet no one thinks that I'm hurting also. I admit, I gave up. I have several auto immune problems, yet to mom, I'm making all of this up. Yup, I'm taking all these drugs for fun. I wish I didn't have to. Yet my drug and alcohol...
    Flickie Flickie
    31-35
    3 Responses May 15, 2012

    I'm Finally Done.

    Previously I have written on here that I am estranged from my family, and haven't seen them for over a year. Although I did not have any desire to reconcile with them, I never actually got any closure and that was really starting to eat away at me.At times I would feel guilty for...
    ScaredSweet ScaredSweet
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jan 11, 2013

    It's better this way.

    Best choice I ever made was to let distance, both time and miles, come between myself and the people I'm supposed to call family. Time does not heal all wounds. Some people cannot change. I had to accept this and move on. My own family will never be hurt by them. That's all I...
    goodwitchofthenorth goodwitchofthenorth
    36-40, F
    Nov 19, 2015

    I can relate. I used to think it was only me

    going through this. Both my parents are alive and neither one of them communicates with me. We all have each others number but they rarely call. People around me speak of how close they are to their parents, bit I cannot relate. I dont know if I should be happy or sad .. But...
    mmmilk06 mmmilk06
    46-50, M
    Nov 26, 2015

    There Is Too Much Emphasis On Reconciliation

    There is just way too much pressure put on people by society in general to reconcile with their estranged family members. Each case is different and reconciliation isn't always the best choice. Often, trying to reconcile with estranged family members means allowing toxic people...
    CaliforniaSun CaliforniaSun
    56-60, F
    7 Responses May 23, 2012

    One day my baby girl will ask

    why she doesn't know her aunt, uncles, grandmother or grandfather. I'm dreading ever telling her why, and I don't know if she'll forgive me or understand. I don't know if she'll reach out to them, only to be given their side of the story. Or worse: my parents would abuse her...
    rhiajanita rhiajanita
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Mar 30, 2015

    My brother had to drive my parents

    for a relative's wedding across the causeway. My brother had to borrow my old Korean car as his was not available. When my brother reached my parents' place, my father asked him why he did not ask my Sis for her Jaguar. How would you feel if you were in my shoes?
    novembermoon novembermoon
    41-45, F
    1 Response Nov 28, 2015

    Outcast

    I’m the outcast, the left out, the missing in action The family member forgotten I’m the scapegoat The black sheep I’m the thrown away The door mat The reviled one The gossiped about I only find things out If I hunt for them Stumble across them For all is kept from me I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses May 26, 2012

    I am conflicted in this aspect of life.

    I am still dependent on my parents as I still live at home but home life has always been chaotic. When my brother and I were young mom and dad always fought and yelled at each other while we would hide in our rooms. He would go out with friends while I would usually stay inside...
    zeframcochrane zeframcochrane
    18-21
    Jul 15, 2015

    Parents Don't Call Me

    I read online about parents being estranged by their adult children.  Parents are not alone in being hurt by estrangement.  It is a commonality they share with some adult children as well.   I am a married man in my early forties.  I live...
    miketr2009 miketr2009
    46-50, M
    64 Responses Mar 11, 2009

    Getting Through The Holidays With Peace

    Hello All, I'm writing to all of you who may be feeling a little sad, or even very depressed, during the holiday season. If you are not with family, it can be very hard. Even if you are choosing to be separate from them, it's hard to be without a family during this time. It's...
    4tptl 4tptl
    41-45
    2 Responses Nov 20, 2012

    Like many of you, mine is a long

    and complicated story. It begins with me raising twin girls from the age of three on, when my ex walked out. For the next 12 years I did it all. Raised my kids, worked full time, got my graduate degree. I had no weekends alone. For over a decade, I never went anywhere overnight...
    maiop maiop
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Dec 24, 2013

    Yesterday I found out my grandfather on my

    father's side has lung cancer. I know this will sound terrible but when I found out I just felt numb. I hate when anybody gets cancer because it's horrible but I didn't feel much for my grandfather. He hasn't spoken to me since I was little. He never cares to visit or call us...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Apr 29, 2015

    The Scapegoat

    It seems in my family, everyone needed someone to hate and to heap all their abuse on.  That person was me.  I know it's probably because I can be brutally honest, and not always very tactful (working on that), but I have done nothing to hurt any of these people, except...
    citizenxtrish citizenxtrish
    56-60
    9 Responses Oct 27, 2010

    When Mother’s Day rolled around,

    I proudly exclaimed “Nope!” when asked if I had called my mother. I had cut my family out of my life and I was determined to move forward. I thought I had finally put the past behind me. But ever since that day I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my family, and I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jun 19, 2014

    I live with my parents

    because I feel on hard times a year ago. I live my father and two brothers so much yet it feels they deal with me out of obligation. my brothers only call me if they can't get ahold of my mother and my dad doest respect my adult on any level. He has always been very controlling...
    Sassychick06 Sassychick06
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 11, 2015

    Abandon By Birth Parents....shunned By Adopted Family 2 X Looser

    I live in a township of far less than 2000 people, everyone knows everything about all who live here. It is a very "religious" town. You don't have to go to church on sunday, but you had best get dressed up and head out to somewhere 'cause people are going to talk about you if...
    JennaR JennaR
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Aug 1, 2012

    My sister. She hates

    that I discipline my kids...I'm sorry (actually I'm not, that's sarcasm) by my kids don't rule the house. As a parent it's my job to teach and train my kids. She does not want hers around me because of this. Our dad has custody of her kids. She flat out said OCS does not...
    teadiva teadiva
    31-35, F
    1 Response Apr 7, 2015

    I have two cousins (one a couple years older

    than me and one a couple years younger) with whom I was very close. Initially the older cousin and I had a very strong bond but we stopped speaking over 10 years ago due to her resentment of me. She felt that my life was easier than hers and that everything was given to me...
    LivLyfLuv LivLyfLuv
    36-40, F
    May 19, 2015

    haven't spoken to them in years.

    got a call today that will make me have to at least think about my no contact rule. I wish life would just slow down and let me heal from one punch before dealing another. I'm too tired to think and decide what's best for everyone at this point. at least I have fresh content for...
    goodwitchofthenorth goodwitchofthenorth
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Feb 15

    Hi everyone. My name is Becca

    and I'm writing from a UK charity called Stand Alone. We're currently in the process of researching family estrangement, and are looking for participants to take part in an online study. We're based in the UK but would be interested in hearing from people worldwide who have no...
    beccabland beccabland
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 21, 2015

    I am estranged from my two brothers.

    Their mother who is estranged from my Dad has kept her distance from me. It was not always so. When the boys were younger I would attend every school event and drive the 70 miles to visit most weekends. Everything changed when my own mother was diagnosed with dementia and I had...
    lantanarose lantanarose
    51-55, F
    1 Response Aug 9, 2015

    So it's been two years

    since I hit the road and severed ties with my family. I know this because my mom just texted me reminding me so. I guess everything would taste like regret at a Thanksgiving dinner without an estranged family member. Our relationship had dwindled for years before I up and left...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Nov 26, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 21

    Well I'm not really estranged from any family

    members. I mean I do have family members that I don't see very often due to distance, but the few times we get to see each other, we are excited to see them. But I do have members that are estranged from each other. Well I have an uncle that has two daughters. He was married...
    ashleys11991 ashleys11991
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jul 25, 2015

    I've been estranged from my childhood family

    for many years. Since my divorce after 30 years of marriage I've been estranged from the only other family I was a member of ( my in laws). Not looking forward to the holidays. I can't handle when people talk about their families getting together. They have no idea how much pain...
    Invisibleclementyne Invisibleclementyne
    56-60, F
    1 Response Nov 19, 2015

    Cutting ties with my family,

    only having holiday get togethers with in-laws is easier in so many ways. I'm hoping one day the guilt completely disappears for choosing to avoid them. My life is better, my head is clearer, I only have this residual guilt at times. I don't miss them at all, no connection or...
    goodwitchofthenorth goodwitchofthenorth
    36-40, F
    1 Response Nov 27, 2015

    Be Confident And Strong

    My family is like crabs in a barrel. When one tries to crawl out, another pulls it back in. I don't know about you, but I'm very happy, relieved and confident in my decision to cut ties with my family. I haven't spoken to my family in many years, and I haven't spoken to my mother...
    hollyhobbie76 hollyhobbie76
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Nov 27, 2011

    So let me just let this out.

    For starters my whole family has been decided for some time now. It was never liked this before, we were actually very close, going to church every Saturday. Now it's like the younger sisters (30) are both very manipulating and the oldest have just had enough of the...
    mawwi00 mawwi00
    22-25, F
    Aug 31, 2015

    I Was Chosen... Then Estranged

    I was put up for adoption when I was 2 1/2 years old. I lived for a year at a foster home, which I vaguely remember. I was adopted at age 3 1/2. I had apparently been abused sexually before I was adopted, as I was very sexual. It really freaked My ultra catholic parents out. My...
    Sirkind Sirkind
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Nov 4, 2013

    This is a source of extreme guilt

    for me. My dad was quite a selfish and sometimes violent man, and my mum and dad's marriage effectively ended when I came home from school one day to find my sister pinned to the wall by her throat by him because she'd dared to say that she disagreed with his political views. I...
    Herbidacious Herbidacious
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Jul 17, 2015

    Best Decision Of My Life

    Most people make out estrangement to be some tragic, unfortunate circumstance; outsiders wail "You need your family! Isn't there any way you can get along?". I, on the other hand, say I don't need family that has abused me and treats me like crap. Spending my entire childhood...
    devouringflames devouringflames
    22-25, F
    7 Responses Mar 8, 2013

    I have lost contact with my little brother.

    Mostly because of my own last years struggling with my own personal life...but partly because his wife and I never really have become friends... It is a pity because I miss him a lot sometimes...
    SteinHansson SteinHansson
    46-50, M
    1 Response Sep 3, 2015

    I Hate Them All

    My parents are immigrants so I have no other family in this country and my dad left my mum when I was 7. My mum had/has anger issues, always yelling and screaming at us. I hated her and I'm pretty sure I still hate her. My dad was ok we still saw him a little but he started...
    Atshi Atshi
    26-30, F
    8 Responses Jun 10, 2012

    So......... the day has come.

    I found out a family member passed away via Facebook. It's been over ten years since I've seen any extended family (either side) in person. Almost 9 since I last spoke to my mother. I still email Dad on his birthday, Father's Day, and send him a Christmas gift (and surprisingly...
    SnowflakeWonder SnowflakeWonder
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Sep 14, 2014

    You know you are not considered part of the

    family when you find out your son was stranded at an airport less than 5 miles from where you live, yet he never called to let you know he needed a little help getting home. We haven't talked much since I divorced his mother, but I didn't know I was completely removed from his...
    flirtingjoe flirtingjoe
    61-65, M
    1 Response Nov 30, 2015

    Mother. As an adult I have discovered

    that my mom was really pretty abusive wjth me as a kid. Apparently forcing a child to eat raw hamburger because he gave his brother a cold hot dog is not okay. I didnt think anything of it back then. i have also learned that the way I feel around her (overwhelmed, on edge, antsy...
    TwiztidDremz TwiztidDremz
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Aug 10, 2015

    Grandparents My maternal grandparents are just

    two of those kinds of people that you see while you're out doing something and just desperately try to avoid. They are so annoying, they are so rude, and they never know when to stop talking or spouting disrespectful things about... well, everyone who isn't straight, white and...
    Lilyhammer420 Lilyhammer420
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 10, 2015

    A Link to the Past

    A while back, I picked up my old video game systems from my dad's place. I really don't play video games at all, new or old, save for Pac-Man which I find to be therapeutic in a weird way. But I wanted to have these old games around. Maybe pop them in from time to time for...
    nonplussednonsense nonplussednonsense
    26-30, M
    7 Responses Sep 6, 2009

    I have been estranged from my older domineering

    sister for several years. around other family members she pretends that this is just some quaint thing that i'm doing and that i'll get over soon. to other people she is vicious and mean about me and my family, in a way that's horrifying to us. the problem is is that family...
    zeldafitzgerald zeldafitzgerald
    41-45, F
    1 Response Nov 6, 2014

    So I tried reaching out to my brother again

    and no response. It's sad to know we probably won't speak again. The most upsetting part is my parents are in their seventies and may pass without making amends. I hope for their sales that my brother grows up and comes to his senses. No matter what I love him and miss him...
    makeupismycrack77 makeupismycrack77
    36-40, F
    May 3, 2015

    I'm only close to my parents

    and 2 siblings, I'm grateful I have them. I have quite a big family of uncles, aunties and cousins, it may sound strange for an outsider to hear but I don't really want anything to do with them. I haven't seen most of them in years, the other few I rarely see and don't make an...
    lovetodraw19 lovetodraw19
    18-21, F
    Jul 14, 2015

    My life changed for the worse

    when my younger out of anger and envy went to my parents and told many thing about me many true and many very false. He told them I used drugs, was agnostic, did not believe in the bible, among other things . My parents are traditional Catholics and believe faith more than...
    safetyvalve safetyvalve
    41-45, M
    1 Response Jun 2, 2015

    Curses, Norman Rockwell!

    Once again the holidays are approaching. This is a time of year when I enjoy baking, cooking, decorating, being outside, pretty much everything about the season.It makes me nostalgic, as even as dysfunctional and abusive as my family of childhood was, I've been able to cling to...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Oct 22, 2013

    I despise and resent my parents

    and one grandparent. Both my parents as well as one grandmother are neglectful or just plain mean...my grandmother contacts me just to complain about my mother and sister not contacting her and won't listen to anything I have to say, and I have to admit, I'm still furious with...
    SadReader SadReader
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 19, 2015

    My Sister Seems To Hate Me

    I have been estranged from my sister (older by 4 years) for over 5 years now and both in our forties.Before the estrangement, which I instigated, I always adored her and wanted more than anything for her to value and love me back.  Her husband used to work in the RAF and was...
    betsymay betsymay
    41-45, F
    1 Response Nov 23, 2011

    Their Loss, Not Mine.

    I have two brothers and one sister I know from childhood. We lived together and they got grown enough to move on their own ways. I'm in contact with my big sister, but she lives thousands of miles away. We talk maybe every other month on the phone and e mail. My oldest...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jul 6, 2012
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 5

    I'm Just Not Like Them.

    I haven't spoken to my younger sister since just before Christmas. My dad was planning a dinner, and since most of my sibs live in one city, he wanted to meet there. I live over two hours away, and was working the date in question... and since I work retail management, during...
    lapinova lapinova
    31-35, F
    9 Responses Apr 4, 2009

    As a kid, I wanted to have my own family

    when I got older. Now, I can honestly say, after all my parents have said, done and put me through - I no longer want one. No kids, no wife - none of that. I'm emotionally disconnected from my family. I don't love them. I can't anymore. My father, in particular, makes me...
    HellGeist HellGeist
    22-25, M
    4 Responses Oct 20, 2015

    I am now "that one." The one in the family

    that no one talks to. Part of me feels a certain freedom because I know that I have broken away from a pack of selfish liars. But I would be lying if I said it doesn't bother me at all. It does, but I have to move on and live my life. I haven't figured out a good way to...
    goldilks goldilks
    46-50, F
    1 Response Jul 17, 2014

    Fractured Family

    I currently have no contact with my mother, sister or any members of my mother's side of the family. This is not necessarily by choice, though I've learned to embrace the circumstances, seeing as how it's eliminated a great deal of stress and anxiety from my life. My mother...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky
    46-50, F
    5 Responses Jul 23, 2010

    I have absolutely no relationship with my

    family,as they feel I'm inferior to them.Now I did have a relationship with my mom,but over the last few years its gotten strained and I feel that for my well being I need to sever ties with her as well.Over the last few years since I've started standing up to her,as she was...
    koreemeny koreemeny
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 20

    No Extended Family

    My husband and I are both estranged from family members and have little or no contact with much of our families.  Our children are starting to feel the effects of this and are asking why they have no grandparents, unc;es, aunts, or cousins.  Part of the problem is...
    flutetoot flutetoot
    36-40
    4 Responses Nov 25, 2009
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