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I Am Estranged From Family Members

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,114 People

    I don't want to keep in contact with people

    who have done nothing but put me down, used me, and hurt me the majority of my life. I don't see the point of that. Because they're family? Pfft! "You don't turn your back on family," my dad used to say. I'd scoff, because he's the first to have turned his back on "family." What...
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 26-30 2 Responses May 14

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    Abandon By Birth Parents....shunned By Adopted Family 2 X Looser

    I live in a township of far less than 2000 people, everyone knows everything about all who live here. It is a very "religious" town. You don't have to go to church on sunday, but you had best get dressed up and head out to somewhere 'cause people are going to talk about you if...
    JennaR JennaR 46-50, F 7 Responses Aug 1, 2012

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    Alright, first post on here.

    ... It's about my sister, we have not been friends for probably 5 or 6 years now... And over the last while the arguments have gotten pretty serious, she will do things like tell me to shut up constantly, smirk at me, insult me, put me down, leave to school without me, make me...
    easton11 easton11 16-17, M May 5

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    I had a tough childhood.

    Abuse from my mothers boyfriend, abuse from my father and his 2nd and 3rd wives, verbal abuse and fluctuating over protective and smothering from my mother. I never had a loving home environment, then my mother, in her wisdom, moved us across country from the east coast to the...
    hurtinginma hurtinginma 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 19

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    I'm Finally Done.

    Previously I have written on here that I am estranged from my family, and haven't seen them for over a year. Although I did not have any desire to reconcile with them, I never actually got any closure and that was really starting to eat away at me.At times I would feel guilty for...
    ScaredSweet ScaredSweet 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 11, 2013

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    Their Loss, Not Mine.

    I have two brothers and one sister I know from childhood. We lived together and they got grown enough to move on their own ways. I'm in contact with my big sister, but she lives thousands of miles away. We talk maybe every other month on the phone and e mail. My oldest...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    I am now "that one." The one in the family

    that no one talks to. Part of me feels a certain freedom because I know that I have broken away from a pack of selfish liars. But I would be lying if I said it doesn't bother me at all. It does, but I have to move on and live my life. I haven't figured out a good way to...
    goldilks goldilks 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17

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    Best Decision Of My Life

    Most people make out estrangement to be some tragic, unfortunate circumstance; outsiders wail "You need your family! Isn't there any way you can get along?". I, on the other hand, say I don't need family that has abused me and treats me like crap. Spending my entire childhood...
    devouringflames devouringflames 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    Ever since I was 18 I moved out from San Diego

    to Los Angeles. I am now 28 and can maybe count with my two hands how many times my parents have called. They call on my birthday or if someone died, in the hospital, or in need to be listened to about their mental health issues. When I would call they will never answer. At...
    RubRAINN RubRAINN 26-30 1 Response Sep 6

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    I have posted on other experiences here,

    I am estranged from my father and wife, my wife because of some really stupid ideas my father had about me and the requirements of me being a man in my community. She was easily manipulated into what my father wanted because of her mental illness. Bi polar, it took me years to...
    toughth toughth 56-60 1 Response Jun 16

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    My mother and I have been in a court battle

    over my down syndrome brother for about a year now. At today's hearing I was tired (only 5 hrs sleep ), I let her have her way. I sat in court and wanted to scream NO when the judge said my brother was incompassitated. But I kept my mouth shut. My brother has been through too...
    Badina Badina 46-50, F Jun 6

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    Either Way Hurts

    All I hear is how much I'm hurting my mother. Yet no one thinks that I'm hurting also. I admit, I gave up. I have several auto immune problems, yet to mom, I'm making all of this up. Yup, I'm taking all these drugs for fun. I wish I didn't have to. Yet my drug and alcohol...
    Flickie Flickie 31-35 3 Responses May 15, 2012

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    An Estrangement

    As a child and even until my early 20s I experienced all forms of abuse from my family.  I don't feel that I lack psychological and cognitive skills but apparently having no friends, an no life, I pretty much fit the bill.  I wonder if I am crazy all the time, or traumatized...
    steven7 steven7 26-30 5 Responses Apr 15, 2011

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    When Mother’s Day rolled around,

    I proudly exclaimed “Nope!” when asked if I had called my mother. I had cut my family out of my life and I was determined to move forward. I thought I had finally put the past behind me. But ever since that day I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my family, and I...
    GiantKaiju GiantKaiju 22-25, M 2 Responses Jun 19

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    Your Ex Daughter,You Can't Hurt Me Anymore(Open

    Letter to My So Called Mother)- It's me. The child that has been "missing" according to your lies for 13 years. That child is all grown up now but rest assured she remembers you and all that you did to her. That little girl remembers how you bellowed and cussed her like a dog...
    ZolotayaWurola ZolotayaWurola 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 15

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    Getting Through The Holidays With Peace

    Hello All, I'm writing to all of you who may be feeling a little sad, or even very depressed, during the holiday season. If you are not with family, it can be very hard. Even if you are choosing to be separate from them, it's hard to be without a family during this time. It's...
    4tptl 4tptl 41-45 4 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    My mother and I were in a court battle.

    I lost. Since then I have refused to speak to her. She sends me letters stated she loves me etc. The latest letter she has tried guilt. She sent a hanky and wrote I hope we won't need this hanky for tears of regret. I'm sending the hanky back to her. No words. There will be no...
    Badina Badina 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 26

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    It Does More Harm Than Good

    I have tried many, many times to have healthy and happy relationships with my family members. It has gotten to the point where I realized that it is not to my benefit to be around them because they have so many issues. I have dealt with my issues over the decades but they have...
    TallCTGuy TallCTGuy 51-55, M 1 Response Aug 26, 2012

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    I Hate Them All

    My parents are immigrants so I have no other family in this country and my dad left my mum when I was 7. My mum had/has anger issues, always yelling and screaming at us. I hated her and I'm pretty sure I still hate her. My dad was ok we still saw him a little but he started...
    Atshi Atshi 26-30, F 8 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    Must Be Something About Me

    in my family, people werent close. i spent a lot of time alone as a kid. we didnt have company much at all. my father had run away from his family (on a reservation in oklahoma) when he was a kid, and so we never really knew many people on his side. if he was still alive now, i...
    kittten kittten 46-50, F 8 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    My Sister Seems To Hate Me

    I have been estranged from my sister (older by 4 years) for over 5 years now and both in our forties.Before the estrangement, which I instigated, I always adored her and wanted more than anything for her to value and love me back.  Her husband used to work in the RAF and was...
    betsymay betsymay 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2011

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    SAD TO DISOWN MY MOM!!!

    I just became estranged from my mother 3 days ago. It has been a long time coming and it was with much thought that I decided to write her a letter and end our relationship. Basically I am the youngest of five kids. I'm 35 years old and the rest are in their forties. We grew up...
    army78 army78 36-40, F 5 Responses Dec 1, 2013

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    I am estranged from my most of my family

    even the two children I gave birth to. It has been a agonizing experience and the holidays were bad until I got my dog. People are suppose to have family. Most of my family and even my own children I do not trust. I am moving forward and I feel at peace now that I have accepted...
    clarity888 clarity888 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    Never Thought This Would Happen

    I always valued my family. Always overlooked wrongs that they did and gave the benefit of the doubt to them. There is one sister who is out of control. She plays her lifes troubles like a well tuned violin. Unfortunately she has my mom sucked into here woe is me world. Mother...
    lotteryloser lotteryloser 51-55 3 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    I have been estranged from my older domineering

    sister for several years. around other family members she pretends that this is just some quaint thing that i'm doing and that i'll get over soon. to other people she is vicious and mean about me and my family, in a way that's horrifying to us. the problem is is that family...
    zeldafitzgerald zeldafitzgerald 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 6

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    So......... the day has come.

    I found out a family member passed away via Facebook. It's been over ten years since I've seen any extended family (either side) in person. Almost 9 since I last spoke to my mother. I still email Dad on his birthday, Father's Day, and send him a Christmas gift (and surprisingly...
    SnowflakeWonder SnowflakeWonder 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 14

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    Agreeing To Disagree

    My story really isn't all that unique. It's really not even all that complicated. It's actually pretty cut and dry...I am estranged from my family because I am a lesbian. (See my story, The Life and Times of Little Brother.)My family and I go through periods of talking to and...
    texastomboy texastomboy 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    Why Don't More People Know About Estrangements?

    I have been involved in a 4 - 5 year estrangement that's affected most aspects of my life. It's only just beginning to thaw, but during the really worst times, I decided I wanted to do something about these crises as -- everyone I talked to about my problem seemed to have a...
    wbe1 wbe1 41-45, M 6 Responses Jul 12, 2012

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    I don't have a very strong bond with my family,

    and it has never bothered me once.
    Blanckov Blanckov 16-17, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Scapegoat

    I'm 30 years old and just over 12 months ago my entire world fell down around me. My sister lied about sexual abuse in our family - not the abuse itself, but actually who had hurt her, and one by one my family turned against me and my partner because she was too scared to admit...
    liliha liliha 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 6, 2012

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    A Link to the Past

    A while back, I picked up my old video game systems from my dad's place. I really don't play video games at all, new or old, save for Pac-Man which I find to be therapeutic in a weird way. But I wanted to have these old games around. Maybe pop them in from time to time for...
    nonplussednonsense nonplussednonsense 26-30, M 7 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    I'm Just Not Like Them.

    I haven't spoken to my younger sister since just before Christmas. My dad was planning a dinner, and since most of my sibs live in one city, he wanted to meet there. I live over two hours away, and was working the date in question... and since I work retail management, during...
    lapinova lapinova 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 4, 2009

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    Family Values All Wrong

      From the age of 8 up until l was 11 l was  subjected to sexual abuse from my older brother and mental and physical abuse from my mother. Its been over 20years when this took place but the mental scars never went away. In April 2008 l took a step that has changed my...
    chinyereo chinyereo 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 16, 2009

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    Outcast

    I’m the outcast, the left out, the missing in action The family member forgotten I’m the scapegoat The black sheep I’m the thrown away The door mat The reviled one The gossiped about I only find things out If I hunt for them Stumble across them For all is kept from me I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 26, 2012

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    Like many of you, mine is a long

    and complicated story. It begins with me raising twin girls from the age of three on, when my ex walked out. For the next 12 years I did it all. Raised my kids, worked full time, got my graduate degree. I had no weekends alone. For over a decade, I never went anywhere overnight...
    maiop maiop 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    Today would have been my father's 94th birthday.

    It's funny that I have better feelings for him now than I did when he was alive. Perhaps it has something to do with his last words about me (that I heard) were referring to me as a "bastard"? My sibs are a mixed bag. We cover the entire range of the baby boomer generation...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M Mar 14

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    Be Confident And Strong

    My family is like crabs in a barrel. When one tries to crawl out, another pulls it back in. I don't know about you, but I'm very happy, relieved and confident in my decision to cut ties with my family. I haven't spoken to my family in many years, and I haven't spoken to my mother...
    hollyhobbie76 hollyhobbie76 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 27, 2011

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    The Scapegoat

    It seems in my family, everyone needed someone to hate and to heap all their abuse on.  That person was me.  I know it's probably because I can be brutally honest, and not always very tactful (working on that), but I have done nothing to hurt any of these people, except...
    citizenxtrish citizenxtrish 56-60 9 Responses Oct 27, 2010

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    I can't wait until my mother is dead.

    My father is declining and I think I am angry at him, too, but don't feel it as much as I do towards my mother, who is the narcissist. He just didn't stop her, protect me, or even really listen to me. I don't want to visit even if he is dying because I would probably want to...
    culturedancer culturedancer 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 30

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    Estranged

    My parents were not happy with the wife I chose. They encouraged a divorce and then always wondered why I stopped speaking to them. They continued to turn the rest of my family against me. They would make up stories about me, making themselves the victims. It wasn't long before...
    nui347 nui347 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 5, 2013

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    I haven't seen my two cousins (on my father's

    side) for at least four years, while I only see my little cousin (my mother's side) once a year if I'm lucky.
    Seblett Seblett 13-15, F Sep 6

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    Neices. Their mom.

    Others. Too bipolar for some. Unknown to others.
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Jul 17

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    Parents Don't Call Me

    I read online about parents being estranged by their adult children.  Parents are not alone in being hurt by estrangement.  It is a commonality they share with some adult children as well.   I am a married man in my early forties.  I live...
    miketr2009 miketr2009 46-50, M 49 Responses Mar 11, 2009

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    Becoming, more so. Although still living at

    home with my parents and sister, I don't feel like I'm a part of the 'family' nor do I feel like they want me around anymore. It makes me pretty sad and depressed honestly. I just wrote out an entire list on how to not be annoying after my mom told me to not crowd her - yet...
    quietloner13 quietloner13 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 12

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    I Was Chosen... Then Estranged

    I was put up for adoption when I was 2 1/2 years old. I lived for a year at a foster home, which I vaguely remember. I was adopted at age 3 1/2. I had apparently been abused sexually before I was adopted, as I was very sexual. It really freaked My ultra catholic parents out. My...
    Sirkind Sirkind 41-45, M 4 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    There Is Too Much Emphasis On Reconciliation

    There is just way too much pressure put on people by society in general to reconcile with their estranged family members. Each case is different and reconciliation isn't always the best choice. Often, trying to reconcile with estranged family members means allowing toxic people...
    CaliforniaSun CaliforniaSun 56-60, F 7 Responses May 23, 2012

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    Estranged even after death.

    - My brother posted a picture of our father on FB yesterday with the words, "Happy Father's Day. Miss you.". Although I "liked" the post, I felt most hypocritical for having done so. My brother may miss our father, but I mourned his loss years before he actually died. The last...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M 3 Responses Jun 16

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    Ever since I was 18 I moved out from San Diego

    to Los Angeles. I am now 28 and can maybe count with my two hands how many times my parents have called. They call on my birthday or if someone died, in the hospital, or in need to be listened to about their mental health issues. When I would call they will never answer. At...
    RubRAINN RubRAINN 26-30 Sep 6

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    I am 32, and deployed to Iraq three times.

    I was in the service for 9 years and not once did anyone in my family even mention to visit me. Although I flew home for all of the major holidays. Not only that, they never came to visit when I returned from overseas or got any kind of homecoming. Now that I am "out", it's...
    jscott8064 jscott8064 31-35, M 2 Responses Feb 2

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    I am presently estranged from my family,

    except for contact with an elderly mother. My sister and brother-in-law have children and tend to host most of the family gatherings claiming they like to and it is easier to get the kids all around. My problem is with my brother-in-law. He is narcissistic, bombastic, and a...
    Micikem Micikem 56-60, M Jul 23

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    You left before you are gonethe pain of mourning

    while still in this realm is far too similarIt does not need to be this wayYet you insistThe 28 years we had before were a sham?Were you humoring me?Was the hatred always there?Or is it simply indifference?Because it sure as hell ain't loveAll these unfinished wordsThese wounds...
    30Forward 30Forward 31-35 Jun 1

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