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I Am Estranged From Family Members

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,370 People

    This is a source of extreme guilt

    for me. My dad was quite a selfish and sometimes violent man, and my mum and dad's marriage effectively ended when I came home from school one day to find my sister pinned to the wall by her throat by him because she'd dared to say that she disagreed with his political views. I...
    Herbidacious Herbidacious 41-45, M 3 Responses Jul 17, 2015

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    Fractured Family

    I currently have no contact with my mother, sister or any members of my mother's side of the family. This is not necessarily by choice, though I've learned to embrace the circumstances, seeing as how it's eliminated a great deal of stress and anxiety from my life. My mother...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 5 Responses Jul 23, 2010

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    I've been estranged from my childhood family

    for many years. Since my divorce after 30 years of marriage I've been estranged from the only other family I was a member of ( my in laws). Not looking forward to the holidays. I can't handle when people talk about their families getting together. They have no idea how much pain...
    Invisibleclementyne Invisibleclementyne 56-60, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2015

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    Outcast

    I’m the outcast, the left out, the missing in action The family member forgotten I’m the scapegoat The black sheep I’m the thrown away The door mat The reviled one The gossiped about I only find things out If I hunt for them Stumble across them For all is kept from me I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 26, 2012

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    I can relate. I used to think it was only me

    going through this. Both my parents are alive and neither one of them communicates with me. We all have each others number but they rarely call. People around me speak of how close they are to their parents, bit I cannot relate. I dont know if I should be happy or sad .. But...
    mmmilk06 mmmilk06 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2015

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    My brother had to drive my parents

    for a relative's wedding across the causeway. My brother had to borrow my old Korean car as his was not available. When my brother reached my parents' place, my father asked him why he did not ask my Sis for her Jaguar. How would you feel if you were in my shoes?
    novembermoon novembermoon 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 28, 2015

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    I'm Just Not Like Them.

    I haven't spoken to my younger sister since just before Christmas. My dad was planning a dinner, and since most of my sibs live in one city, he wanted to meet there. I live over two hours away, and was working the date in question... and since I work retail management, during...
    lapinova lapinova 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 4, 2009

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    As a kid, I wanted to have my own family

    when I got older. Now, I can honestly say, after all my parents have said, done and put me through - I no longer want one. No kids, no wife - none of that. I'm emotionally disconnected from my family. I don't love them. I can't anymore. My father, in particular, makes me...
    HellGeist HellGeist 22-25, M 5 Responses Oct 20, 2015

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    One day my baby girl will ask

    why she doesn't know her aunt, uncles, grandmother or grandfather. I'm dreading ever telling her why, and I don't know if she'll forgive me or understand. I don't know if she'll reach out to them, only to be given their side of the story. Or worse: my parents would abuse her...
    rhiajanita rhiajanita 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 30, 2015

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    It's better this way.

    Best choice I ever made was to let distance, both time and miles, come between myself and the people I'm supposed to call family. Time does not heal all wounds. Some people cannot change. I had to accept this and move on. My own family will never be hurt by them. That's all I...
    goodwitchofthenorth goodwitchofthenorth 36-40, F Nov 19, 2015

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    Be Confident And Strong

    My family is like crabs in a barrel. When one tries to crawl out, another pulls it back in. I don't know about you, but I'm very happy, relieved and confident in my decision to cut ties with my family. I haven't spoken to my family in many years, and I haven't spoken to my mother...
    hollyhobbie76 hollyhobbie76 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 27, 2011

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    I am now "that one." The one in the family

    that no one talks to. Part of me feels a certain freedom because I know that I have broken away from a pack of selfish liars. But I would be lying if I said it doesn't bother me at all. It does, but I have to move on and live my life. I haven't figured out a good way to...
    goldilks goldilks 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17, 2014

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    No Extended Family

    My husband and I are both estranged from family members and have little or no contact with much of our families.  Our children are starting to feel the effects of this and are asking why they have no grandparents, unc;es, aunts, or cousins.  Part of the problem is...
    flutetoot flutetoot 36-40 4 Responses Nov 25, 2009

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    Like many of you, mine is a long

    and complicated story. It begins with me raising twin girls from the age of three on, when my ex walked out. For the next 12 years I did it all. Raised my kids, worked full time, got my graduate degree. I had no weekends alone. For over a decade, I never went anywhere overnight...
    maiop maiop 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    My life changed for the worse

    when my younger out of anger and envy went to my parents and told many thing about me many true and many very false. He told them I used drugs, was agnostic, did not believe in the bible, among other things . My parents are traditional Catholics and believe faith more than...
    safetyvalve safetyvalve 41-45, M 1 Response Jun 2, 2015

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    My sister. She hates

    that I discipline my kids...I'm sorry (actually I'm not, that's sarcasm) by my kids don't rule the house. As a parent it's my job to teach and train my kids. She does not want hers around me because of this. Our dad has custody of her kids. She flat out said OCS does not...
    teadiva teadiva 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 7, 2015

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    Curses, Norman Rockwell!

    Once again the holidays are approaching. This is a time of year when I enjoy baking, cooking, decorating, being outside, pretty much everything about the season.It makes me nostalgic, as even as dysfunctional and abusive as my family of childhood was, I've been able to cling to...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    My Sister Seems To Hate Me

    I have been estranged from my sister (older by 4 years) for over 5 years now and both in our forties.Before the estrangement, which I instigated, I always adored her and wanted more than anything for her to value and love me back.  Her husband used to work in the RAF and was...
    betsymay betsymay 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2011

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    Well I'm not really estranged from any family

    members. I mean I do have family members that I don't see very often due to distance, but the few times we get to see each other, we are excited to see them. But I do have members that are estranged from each other. Well I have an uncle that has two daughters. He was married...
    ashleys11991 ashleys11991 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 25, 2015

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    A Link to the Past

    A while back, I picked up my old video game systems from my dad's place. I really don't play video games at all, new or old, save for Pac-Man which I find to be therapeutic in a weird way. But I wanted to have these old games around. Maybe pop them in from time to time for...
    nonplussednonsense nonplussednonsense 26-30, M 7 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    Complicated, difficult,

    and frustrating. Most marital arguments are over sex or money... Mine happen to be family. My in laws despise me... In the beginning of my relationship my in laws had a difficult time accepting me. They are very controlling and manipulative. It took years to build up a good...
    HearMyEscape HearMyEscape 31-35, F 14 Responses Apr 7, 2015

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    There Is Too Much Emphasis On Reconciliation

    There is just way too much pressure put on people by society in general to reconcile with their estranged family members. Each case is different and reconciliation isn't always the best choice. Often, trying to reconcile with estranged family members means allowing toxic people...
    CaliforniaSun CaliforniaSun 56-60, F 7 Responses May 23, 2012

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    Hi everyone. My name is Becca

    and I'm writing from a UK charity called Stand Alone. We're currently in the process of researching family estrangement, and are looking for participants to take part in an online study. We're based in the UK but would be interested in hearing from people worldwide who have no...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 1 Response Feb 21, 2015

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    I Hate Them All

    My parents are immigrants so I have no other family in this country and my dad left my mum when I was 7. My mum had/has anger issues, always yelling and screaming at us. I hated her and I'm pretty sure I still hate her. My dad was ok we still saw him a little but he started...
    Atshi Atshi 26-30, F 8 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    When Mother’s Day rolled around,

    I proudly exclaimed “Nope!” when asked if I had called my mother. I had cut my family out of my life and I was determined to move forward. I thought I had finally put the past behind me. But ever since that day I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my family, and I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jun 19, 2014

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    I don't have a very strong bond with my family,

    and it has never bothered me once.
    Blanckov Blanckov 16-17, M 1 Response Dec 17, 2014

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    Mother. As an adult I have discovered

    that my mom was really pretty abusive wjth me as a kid. Apparently forcing a child to eat raw hamburger because he gave his brother a cold hot dog is not okay. I didnt think anything of it back then. i have also learned that the way I feel around her (overwhelmed, on edge, antsy...
    TwiztidDremz TwiztidDremz 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 10, 2015

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    So I tried reaching out to my brother again

    and no response. It's sad to know we probably won't speak again. The most upsetting part is my parents are in their seventies and may pass without making amends. I hope for their sales that my brother grows up and comes to his senses. No matter what I love him and miss him...
    makeupismycrack77 makeupismycrack77 36-40, F 1 Response May 3, 2015

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    I despise my blood relatives.

    Some of them abused me—physically, verbally, and emotionally/mentally or however you would call it—while those who didn’t partake stood by and let it happen, tried to deny that it was happening at all, or even claimed that it was perfectly ok for the others to do such to...
    RaTEARSin RaTEARSin 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2015

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    I am estranged from my two brothers.

    Their mother who is estranged from my Dad has kept her distance from me. It was not always so. When the boys were younger I would attend every school event and drive the 70 miles to visit most weekends. Everything changed when my own mother was diagnosed with dementia and I had...
    lantanarose lantanarose 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 9, 2015

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    You know you are not considered part of the

    family when you find out your son was stranded at an airport less than 5 miles from where you live, yet he never called to let you know he needed a little help getting home. We haven't talked much since I divorced his mother, but I didn't know I was completely removed from his...
    flirtingjoe flirtingjoe 61-65, M 1 Response Nov 30, 2015

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    Their Loss, Not Mine.

    I have two brothers and one sister I know from childhood. We lived together and they got grown enough to move on their own ways. I'm in contact with my big sister, but she lives thousands of miles away. We talk maybe every other month on the phone and e mail. My oldest...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    Cutting ties with my family,

    only having holiday get togethers with in-laws is easier in so many ways. I'm hoping one day the guilt completely disappears for choosing to avoid them. My life is better, my head is clearer, I only have this residual guilt at times. I don't miss them at all, no connection or...
    goodwitchofthenorth goodwitchofthenorth 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 27, 2015

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    I have two cousins (one a couple years older

    than me and one a couple years younger) with whom I was very close. Initially the older cousin and I had a very strong bond but we stopped speaking over 10 years ago due to her resentment of me. She felt that my life was easier than hers and that everything was given to me...
    LivLyfLuv LivLyfLuv 36-40, F May 19, 2015

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    Abandon By Birth Parents....shunned By Adopted Family 2 X Looser

    I live in a township of far less than 2000 people, everyone knows everything about all who live here. It is a very "religious" town. You don't have to go to church on sunday, but you had best get dressed up and head out to somewhere 'cause people are going to talk about you if...
    JennaR JennaR 46-50, F 6 Responses Aug 1, 2012

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    I don't want to keep in contact with people

    who have done nothing but put me down, used me, and hurt me the majority of my life. I don't see the point of that. Because they're family? Pfft! "You don't turn your back on family," my dad used to say. I'd scoff, because he's the first to have turned his back on "family." What...
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 31-35 2 Responses May 14, 2014

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    Getting Through The Holidays With Peace

    Hello All, I'm writing to all of you who may be feeling a little sad, or even very depressed, during the holiday season. If you are not with family, it can be very hard. Even if you are choosing to be separate from them, it's hard to be without a family during this time. It's...
    4tptl 4tptl 41-45 3 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    I live with my parents

    because I feel on hard times a year ago. I live my father and two brothers so much yet it feels they deal with me out of obligation. my brothers only call me if they can't get ahold of my mother and my dad doest respect my adult on any level. He has always been very controlling...
    Sassychick06 Sassychick06 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2015

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    So it's been two years

    since I hit the road and severed ties with my family. I know this because my mom just texted me reminding me so. I guess everything would taste like regret at a Thanksgiving dinner without an estranged family member. Our relationship had dwindled for years before I up and left...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Nov 26, 2015

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    Parents Don't Call Me

    I read online about parents being estranged by their adult children.  Parents are not alone in being hurt by estrangement.  It is a commonality they share with some adult children as well.   I am a married man in my early forties.  I live...
    miketr2009 miketr2009 46-50, M 67 Responses Mar 11, 2009

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    I have been estranged from my older domineering

    sister for several years. around other family members she pretends that this is just some quaint thing that i'm doing and that i'll get over soon. to other people she is vicious and mean about me and my family, in a way that's horrifying to us. the problem is is that family...
    zeldafitzgerald zeldafitzgerald 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2014

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    Grandparents My maternal grandparents are just

    two of those kinds of people that you see while you're out doing something and just desperately try to avoid. They are so annoying, they are so rude, and they never know when to stop talking or spouting disrespectful things about... well, everyone who isn't straight, white and...
    Lilyhammer420 Lilyhammer420 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2015

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    Yesterday I found out my grandfather on my

    father's side has lung cancer. I know this will sound terrible but when I found out I just felt numb. I hate when anybody gets cancer because it's horrible but I didn't feel much for my grandfather. He hasn't spoken to me since I was little. He never cares to visit or call us...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Apr 29, 2015

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    I have lost contact with my little brother.

    Mostly because of my own last years struggling with my own personal life...but partly because his wife and I never really have become friends... It is a pity because I miss him a lot sometimes...
    SteinHansson SteinHansson 46-50, M 2 Responses Sep 3, 2015

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    I am conflicted in this aspect of life.

    I am still dependent on my parents as I still live at home but home life has always been chaotic. When my brother and I were young mom and dad always fought and yelled at each other while we would hide in our rooms. He would go out with friends while I would usually stay inside...
    zeframcochrane zeframcochrane 18-21 Jul 15, 2015

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