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I Am Estranged From Family Members

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,070 People

    The Scapegoat

    It seems in my family, everyone needed someone to hate and to heap all their abuse on.  That person was me.  I know it's probably because I can be brutally honest, and not always very tactful (working on that), but I have done nothing to hurt any of these people, except...
    citizenxtrish citizenxtrish 56-60 9 Responses Oct 27, 2010

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    I am presently estranged from my family,

    except for contact with an elderly mother. My sister and brother-in-law have children and tend to host most of the family gatherings claiming they like to and it is easier to get the kids all around. My problem is with my brother-in-law. He is narcissistic, bombastic, and a...
    Micikem Micikem 56-60, M Jul 23

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    I am now "that one." The one in the family

    that no one talks to. Part of me feels a certain freedom because I know that I have broken away from a pack of selfish liars. But I would be lying if I said it doesn't bother me at all. It does, but I have to move on and live my life. I haven't figured out a good way to...
    goldilks goldilks 46-50, F Jul 17

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    Their Loss, Not Mine.

    I have two brothers and one sister I know from childhood. We lived together and they got grown enough to move on their own ways. I'm in contact with my big sister, but she lives thousands of miles away. We talk maybe every other month on the phone and e mail. My oldest...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    I had a tough childhood.

    Abuse from my mothers boyfriend, abuse from my father and his 2nd and 3rd wives, verbal abuse and fluctuating over protective and smothering from my mother. I never had a loving home environment, then my mother, in her wisdom, moved us across country from the east coast to the...
    hurtinginma hurtinginma 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 19

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    SAD TO DISOWN MY MOM!!!

    I just became estranged from my mother 3 days ago. It has been a long time coming and it was with much thought that I decided to write her a letter and end our relationship. Basically I am the youngest of five kids. I'm 35 years old and the rest are in their forties. We grew up...
    army78 army78 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 1, 2013

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    I Became Estranged Against My Will

    I've already talked some about this in another post of mine, but I've been stuck in the middle of a dispute between my dad's family and my mom. My mom claims some incident happened in my dad's family and she's hated my dad and his family ever since. As far as I'm aware, no one...
    BlueColored BlueColored 22-25, F Oct 22, 2013

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    I Was Chosen... Then Estranged

    I was put up for adoption when I was 2 1/2 years old. I lived for a year at a foster home, which I vaguely remember. I was adopted at age 3 1/2. I had apparently been abused sexually before I was adopted, as I was very sexual. It really freaked My ultra catholic parents out. My...
    Sirkind Sirkind 41-45, M 4 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    Be Confident And Strong

    My family is like crabs in a barrel. When one tries to crawl out, another pulls it back in. I don't know about you, but I'm very happy, relieved and confident in my decision to cut ties with my family. I haven't spoken to my family in many years, and I haven't spoken to my mother...
    hollyhobbie76 hollyhobbie76 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 27, 2011

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    My Mistakes

    I grew up in an extremely close family. I was the only girl with 2 older brothers and boy cousins. My favorite childhood memories are those that include my whole family; my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and my cousins. My grandparents were instrumental in keeping us...
    Runningmel Runningmel 41-45, F 2 Responses Oct 7, 2013

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    Relational Drift

    I am not quite sure how it happened, the drifting from my father. There wasn't a single large reason we stopped speaking. Instead, there were lots of little ones that made frequent communication difficult. He was a republican. I was a democrat. He worked the same job at a leather...
    jaa123 jaa123 22-25, F Sep 26, 2013

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    Parents Don't Call Me

    I read online about parents being estranged by their adult children.  Parents are not alone in being hurt by estrangement.  It is a commonality they share with some adult children as well.   I am a married man in my early forties.  I live...
    miketr2009 miketr2009 46-50, M 46 Responses Mar 11, 2009

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    My mother and I were in a court battle.

    I lost. Since then I have refused to speak to her. She sends me letters stated she loves me etc. The latest letter she has tried guilt. She sent a hanky and wrote I hope we won't need this hanky for tears of regret. I'm sending the hanky back to her. No words. There will be no...
    Badina Badina 46-50, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Stand Alone Is Here

    Hey Folks, Stand Alone is the only international charity to support adults that are estranged from their family. We're going now, and running meet-up groups in London on the run up to Christmas. We'd really like to hear from as many estranged people as possible so we can plan...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 Sep 26, 2013

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    Scapegoat

    I'm 30 years old and just over 12 months ago my entire world fell down around me. My sister lied about sexual abuse in our family - not the abuse itself, but actually who had hurt her, and one by one my family turned against me and my partner because she was too scared to admit...
    liliha liliha 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 6, 2012

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    I have been estranged from my father

    for a year and a half and my brothers for about six months. My mother died about eleven years ago and right after I stepped in to help my dad take care of the house. As the years passed I was trying to become more independent but my father would stop me. He liked having the...
    acceptinglove acceptinglove 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 21

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    It Does More Harm Than Good

    I have tried many, many times to have healthy and happy relationships with my family members. It has gotten to the point where I realized that it is not to my benefit to be around them because they have so many issues. I have dealt with my issues over the decades but they have...
    TallCTGuy TallCTGuy 51-55, M 1 Response Aug 26, 2012

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    Agreeing To Disagree

    My story really isn't all that unique. It's really not even all that complicated. It's actually pretty cut and dry...I am estranged from my family because I am a lesbian. (See my story, The Life and Times of Little Brother.)My family and I go through periods of talking to and...
    texastomboy texastomboy 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    Either Way Hurts

    All I hear is how much I'm hurting my mother. Yet no one thinks that I'm hurting also. I admit, I gave up. I have several auto immune problems, yet to mom, I'm making all of this up. Yup, I'm taking all these drugs for fun. I wish I didn't have to. Yet my drug and alcohol...
    Flickie Flickie 31-35 3 Responses May 15, 2012

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    Curses, Norman Rockwell!

    Once again the holidays are approaching. This is a time of year when I enjoy baking, cooking, decorating, being outside, pretty much everything about the season.It makes me nostalgic, as even as dysfunctional and abusive as my family of childhood was, I've been able to cling to...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    Getting Through The Holidays With Peace

    Hello All, I'm writing to all of you who may be feeling a little sad, or even very depressed, during the holiday season. If you are not with family, it can be very hard. Even if you are choosing to be separate from them, it's hard to be without a family during this time. It's...
    4tptl 4tptl 41-45 4 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    Like many of you, mine is a long

    and complicated story. It begins with me raising twin girls from the age of three on, when my ex walked out. For the next 12 years I did it all. Raised my kids, worked full time, got my graduate degree. I had no weekends alone. For over a decade, I never went anywhere overnight...
    maiop maiop 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    I don't want to keep in contact with people

    who have done nothing but put me down, used me, and hurt me the majority of my life. I don't see the point of that. Because they're family? Pfft! "You don't turn your back on family," my dad used to say. I'd scoff, because he's the first to have turned his back on "family." What...
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 26-30 2 Responses May 14

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    I'm Just Not Like Them.

    I haven't spoken to my younger sister since just before Christmas. My dad was planning a dinner, and since most of my sibs live in one city, he wanted to meet there. I live over two hours away, and was working the date in question... and since I work retail management, during...
    lapinova lapinova 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 4, 2009

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    I Hate Them All

    My parents are immigrants so I have no other family in this country and my dad left my mum when I was 7. My mum had/has anger issues, always yelling and screaming at us. I hated her and I'm pretty sure I still hate her. My dad was ok we still saw him a little but he started...
    Atshi Atshi 26-30, F 8 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    You left before you are gonethe pain of mourning

    while still in this realm is far too similarIt does not need to be this wayYet you insistThe 28 years we had before were a sham?Were you humoring me?Was the hatred always there?Or is it simply indifference?Because it sure as hell ain't loveAll these unfinished wordsThese wounds...
    30Forward 30Forward 31-35 Jun 1

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    Fractured Family

    I currently have no contact with my mother, sister or any members of my mother's side of the family. This is not necessarily by choice, though I've learned to embrace the circumstances, seeing as how it's eliminated a great deal of stress and anxiety from my life. My mother...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 5 Responses Jul 23, 2010

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    Estranged even after death.

    - My brother posted a picture of our father on FB yesterday with the words, "Happy Father's Day. Miss you.". Although I "liked" the post, I felt most hypocritical for having done so. My brother may miss our father, but I mourned his loss years before he actually died. The last...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M 3 Responses Jun 16

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    Neices. Their mom.

    Others. Too bipolar for some. Unknown to others.
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M Jul 17

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    I have posted on other experiences here,

    I am estranged from my father and wife, my wife because of some really stupid ideas my father had about me and the requirements of me being a man in my community. She was easily manipulated into what my father wanted because of her mental illness. Bi polar, it took me years to...
    toughth toughth 56-60 1 Response Jun 16

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    Why Don't More People Know About Estrangements?

    I have been involved in a 4 - 5 year estrangement that's affected most aspects of my life. It's only just beginning to thaw, but during the really worst times, I decided I wanted to do something about these crises as -- everyone I talked to about my problem seemed to have a...
    wbe1 wbe1 41-45, M 6 Responses Jul 12, 2012

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    An Estrangement

    As a child and even until my early 20s I experienced all forms of abuse from my family.  I don't feel that I lack psychological and cognitive skills but apparently having no friends, an no life, I pretty much fit the bill.  I wonder if I am crazy all the time, or traumatized...
    steven7 steven7 26-30 5 Responses Apr 15, 2011

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    My Sister Seems To Hate Me

    I have been estranged from my sister (older by 4 years) for over 5 years now and both in our forties.Before the estrangement, which I instigated, I always adored her and wanted more than anything for her to value and love me back.  Her husband used to work in the RAF and was...
    betsymay betsymay 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2011

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    Never Thought This Would Happen

    I always valued my family. Always overlooked wrongs that they did and gave the benefit of the doubt to them. There is one sister who is out of control. She plays her lifes troubles like a well tuned violin. Unfortunately she has my mom sucked into here woe is me world. Mother...
    lotteryloser lotteryloser 51-55 3 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    Estranged

    My parents were not happy with the wife I chose. They encouraged a divorce and then always wondered why I stopped speaking to them. They continued to turn the rest of my family against me. They would make up stories about me, making themselves the victims. It wasn't long before...
    nui347 nui347 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 5, 2013

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    I am estranged from my most of my family

    even the two children I gave birth to. It has been a agonizing experience and the holidays were bad until I got my dog. People are suppose to have family. Most of my family and even my own children I do not trust. I am moving forward and I feel at peace now that I have accepted...
    clarity888 clarity888 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    Family Values All Wrong

      From the age of 8 up until l was 11 l was  subjected to sexual abuse from my older brother and mental and physical abuse from my mother. Its been over 20years when this took place but the mental scars never went away. In April 2008 l took a step that has changed my...
    chinyereo chinyereo 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 16, 2009

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    There Is Too Much Emphasis On Reconciliation

    There is just way too much pressure put on people by society in general to reconcile with their estranged family members. Each case is different and reconciliation isn't always the best choice. Often, trying to reconcile with estranged family members means allowing toxic people...
    CaliforniaSun CaliforniaSun 56-60, F 6 Responses May 23, 2012

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    Best Decision Of My Life

    Most people make out estrangement to be some tragic, unfortunate circumstance; outsiders wail "You need your family! Isn't there any way you can get along?". I, on the other hand, say I don't need family that has abused me and treats me like crap. Spending my entire childhood...
    devouringflames devouringflames 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    Making Our Own Family Connections

    I never had much of a family or was stable enough when I was younger to maintain healthy relationships however over time I have been part of Hugssociety and learned not only how to maintain and keep friendships alive but make a family that I could support and who I could accept...
    Hugsdirector Hugsdirector 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    I'm Finally Done.

    Previously I have written on here that I am estranged from my family, and haven't seen them for over a year. Although I did not have any desire to reconcile with them, I never actually got any closure and that was really starting to eat away at me.At times I would feel guilty for...
    ScaredSweet ScaredSweet 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 11, 2013

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    Family Member Estrangement

    I am now an adult (40+). My father has never sent me a birthday card, and he has never called me for my birthday. I had a birthday this past Saturday and I waited anxiously all day hoping to receive a call from him. But as midnight drew near, I knew that once again, for another...
    karenslee karenslee 41-45 2 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    Becoming, more so. Although still living at

    home with my parents and sister, I don't feel like I'm a part of the 'family' nor do I feel like they want me around anymore. It makes me pretty sad and depressed honestly. I just wrote out an entire list on how to not be annoying after my mom told me to not crowd her - yet...
    quietloner13 quietloner13 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 12

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    Protect The Family Image

    23 years ago, while I was living with my sister and her husband, I was assaulted by my brother-in-law. While he didn’t rape me he straddled me, pinned my hands to the floor over my head, and tried to kiss me. When I told my parents what happened, they said it was no big deal...
    moosefire moosefire 41-45 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    Abandon By Birth Parents....shunned By Adopted Family 2 X Looser

    I live in a township of far less than 2000 people, everyone knows everything about all who live here. It is a very "religious" town. You don't have to go to church on sunday, but you had best get dressed up and head out to somewhere 'cause people are going to talk about you if...
    JennaR JennaR 46-50, F 7 Responses Aug 1, 2012

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    A Link to the Past

    A while back, I picked up my old video game systems from my dad's place. I really don't play video games at all, new or old, save for Pac-Man which I find to be therapeutic in a weird way. But I wanted to have these old games around. Maybe pop them in from time to time for...
    nonplussednonsense nonplussednonsense 26-30, M 7 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    No Extended Family

    My husband and I are both estranged from family members and have little or no contact with much of our families.  Our children are starting to feel the effects of this and are asking why they have no grandparents, unc;es, aunts, or cousins.  Part of the problem is...
    flutetoot flutetoot 36-40 4 Responses Nov 25, 2009

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    When Mother’s Day rolled around,

    I proudly exclaimed “Nope!” when asked if I had called my mother. I had cut my family out of my life and I was determined to move forward. I thought I had finally put the past behind me. But ever since that day I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my family, and I...
    GiantKaiju GiantKaiju 22-25, M 2 Responses Jun 19

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    Alright, first post on here.

    ... It's about my sister, we have not been friends for probably 5 or 6 years now... And over the last while the arguments have gotten pretty serious, she will do things like tell me to shut up constantly, smirk at me, insult me, put me down, leave to school without me, make me...
    easton11 easton11 16-17, M May 5

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    Must Be Something About Me

    in my family, people werent close. i spent a lot of time alone as a kid. we didnt have company much at all. my father had run away from his family (on a reservation in oklahoma) when he was a kid, and so we never really knew many people on his side. if he was still alive now, i...
    kittten kittten 46-50, F 8 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    My mother and I have been in a court battle

    over my down syndrome brother for about a year now. At today's hearing I was tired (only 5 hrs sleep ), I let her have her way. I sat in court and wanted to scream NO when the judge said my brother was incompassitated. But I kept my mouth shut. My brother has been through too...
    Badina Badina 46-50, F Jun 6

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    I had a bad childhood

    and my relationship with my family has not improved enough to be of much comfort to me. My eldest brother died a couple of months ago, and the year of his illness really showed me that I do not fit into my family. I thought that everyone was mean and petty during the process. I...
    SlowLo SlowLo 51-55, F 1 Response Jul 16

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    Today would have been my father's 94th birthday.

    It's funny that I have better feelings for him now than I did when he was alive. Perhaps it has something to do with his last words about me (that I heard) were referring to me as a "bastard"? My sibs are a mixed bag. We cover the entire range of the baby boomer generation...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M 1 Response Mar 14

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