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I Am Estranged From Family Members

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,300 People

    My sister. She hates

    that I discipline my kids...I'm sorry (actually I'm not, that's sarcasm) by my kids don't rule the house. As a parent it's my job to teach and train my kids. She does not want hers around me because of this. Our dad has custody of her kids. She flat out said OCS does not...
    teadiva teadiva 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Well I'm not really estranged from any family

    members. I mean I do have family members that I don't see very often due to distance, but the few times we get to see each other, we are excited to see them. But I do have members that are estranged from each other. Well I have an uncle that has two daughters. He was married...
    ashleys11991 ashleys11991 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 25

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    Abandon By Birth Parents....shunned By Adopted Family 2 X Looser

    I live in a township of far less than 2000 people, everyone knows everything about all who live here. It is a very "religious" town. You don't have to go to church on sunday, but you had best get dressed up and head out to somewhere 'cause people are going to talk about you if...
    JennaR JennaR 46-50, F 6 Responses Aug 1, 2012

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    I don't have a very strong bond with my family,

    and it has never bothered me once.
    Blanckov Blanckov 16-17, M 1 Response Dec 17, 2014

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    I have been estranged from my older domineering

    sister for several years. around other family members she pretends that this is just some quaint thing that i'm doing and that i'll get over soon. to other people she is vicious and mean about me and my family, in a way that's horrifying to us. the problem is is that family...
    zeldafitzgerald zeldafitzgerald 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2014

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    Must Be Something About Me

    in my family, people werent close. i spent a lot of time alone as a kid. we didnt have company much at all. my father had run away from his family (on a reservation in oklahoma) when he was a kid, and so we never really knew many people on his side. if he was still alive now, i...
    kittten kittten 46-50, F 9 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    My life changed for the worse

    when my younger out of anger and envy went to my parents and told many thing about me many true and many very false. He told them I used drugs, was agnostic, did not believe in the bible, among other things . My parents are traditional Catholics and believe faith more than...
    safetyvalve safetyvalve 41-45, M 1 Response Jun 2

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    Complicated, difficult,

    and frustrating. Most marital arguments are over sex or money... Mine happen to be family. My in laws despise me... In the beginning of my relationship my in laws had a difficult time accepting me. They are very controlling and manipulative. It took years to build up a good...
    HotMessExpress101 HotMessExpress101 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 7

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    I live with my parents

    because I feel on hard times a year ago. I live my father and two brothers so much yet it feels they deal with me out of obligation. my brothers only call me if they can't get ahold of my mother and my dad doest respect my adult on any level. He has always been very controlling...
    Sassychick06 Sassychick06 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    Either Way Hurts

    All I hear is how much I'm hurting my mother. Yet no one thinks that I'm hurting also. I admit, I gave up. I have several auto immune problems, yet to mom, I'm making all of this up. Yup, I'm taking all these drugs for fun. I wish I didn't have to. Yet my drug and alcohol...
    Flickie Flickie 31-35 3 Responses May 15, 2012

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    So I tried reaching out to my brother again

    and no response. It's sad to know we probably won't speak again. The most upsetting part is my parents are in their seventies and may pass without making amends. I hope for their sales that my brother grows up and comes to his senses. No matter what I love him and miss him...
    makeupismycrack77 makeupismycrack77 36-40, F 1 Response May 3

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    I have two cousins (one a couple years older

    than me and one a couple years younger) with whom I was very close. Initially the older cousin and I had a very strong bond but we stopped speaking over 10 years ago due to her resentment of me. She felt that my life was easier than hers and that everything was given to me...
    LivLyfLuv LivLyfLuv 36-40, F May 19

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    Ever since I was 18 I moved out from San Diego

    to Los Angeles. I am now 28 and can maybe count with my two hands how many times my parents have called. They call on my birthday or if someone died, in the hospital, or in need to be listened to about their mental health issues. When I would call they will never answer. At...
    RubRAINN RubRAINN 26-30 Sep 6, 2014

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    The Scapegoat

    It seems in my family, everyone needed someone to hate and to heap all their abuse on.  That person was me.  I know it's probably because I can be brutally honest, and not always very tactful (working on that), but I have done nothing to hurt any of these people, except...
    citizenxtrish citizenxtrish 56-60 9 Responses Oct 27, 2010

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    I am estranged from my two brothers.

    Their mother who is estranged from my Dad has kept her distance from me. It was not always so. When the boys were younger I would attend every school event and drive the 70 miles to visit most weekends. Everything changed when my own mother was diagnosed with dementia and I had...
    lantanarose lantanarose 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 9

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    Their Loss, Not Mine.

    I have two brothers and one sister I know from childhood. We lived together and they got grown enough to move on their own ways. I'm in contact with my big sister, but she lives thousands of miles away. We talk maybe every other month on the phone and e mail. My oldest...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    Family Values All Wrong

      From the age of 8 up until l was 11 l was  subjected to sexual abuse from my older brother and mental and physical abuse from my mother. Its been over 20years when this took place but the mental scars never went away. In April 2008 l took a step that has changed my...
    chinyereo chinyereo 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 16, 2009

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    Parents Don't Call Me

    I read online about parents being estranged by their adult children.  Parents are not alone in being hurt by estrangement.  It is a commonality they share with some adult children as well.   I am a married man in my early forties.  I live...
    miketr2009 miketr2009 46-50, M 62 Responses Mar 11, 2009

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    Curses, Norman Rockwell!

    Once again the holidays are approaching. This is a time of year when I enjoy baking, cooking, decorating, being outside, pretty much everything about the season.It makes me nostalgic, as even as dysfunctional and abusive as my family of childhood was, I've been able to cling to...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    My choice. Dad corrosive.

    Others selfish. Why suffer that.
    Converted Converted 46-50, M 2 Responses Aug 9

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    This is a source of extreme guilt

    for me. My dad was quite a selfish and sometimes violent man, and my mum and dad's marriage effectively ended when I came home from school one day to find my sister pinned to the wall by her throat by him because she'd dared to say that she disagreed with his political views. I...
    Herbidacious Herbidacious 41-45, M 2 Responses Jul 17

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    A Link to the Past

    A while back, I picked up my old video game systems from my dad's place. I really don't play video games at all, new or old, save for Pac-Man which I find to be therapeutic in a weird way. But I wanted to have these old games around. Maybe pop them in from time to time for...
    nonplussednonsense nonplussednonsense 26-30, M 7 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    Best Decision Of My Life

    Most people make out estrangement to be some tragic, unfortunate circumstance; outsiders wail "You need your family! Isn't there any way you can get along?". I, on the other hand, say I don't need family that has abused me and treats me like crap. Spending my entire childhood...
    devouringflames devouringflames 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    No Extended Family

    My husband and I are both estranged from family members and have little or no contact with much of our families.  Our children are starting to feel the effects of this and are asking why they have no grandparents, unc;es, aunts, or cousins.  Part of the problem is...
    flutetoot flutetoot 36-40 4 Responses Nov 25, 2009

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    When Mother’s Day rolled around,

    I proudly exclaimed “Nope!” when asked if I had called my mother. I had cut my family out of my life and I was determined to move forward. I thought I had finally put the past behind me. But ever since that day I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my family, and I...
    GiantKaiju GiantKaiju 22-25, M 2 Responses Jun 19, 2014

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    Hi everyone. My name is Becca

    and I'm writing from a UK charity called Stand Alone. We're currently in the process of researching family estrangement, and are looking for participants to take part in an online study. We're based in the UK but would be interested in hearing from people worldwide who have no...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 1 Response Feb 21

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    Like many of you, mine is a long

    and complicated story. It begins with me raising twin girls from the age of three on, when my ex walked out. For the next 12 years I did it all. Raised my kids, worked full time, got my graduate degree. I had no weekends alone. For over a decade, I never went anywhere overnight...
    maiop maiop 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    I'm only close to my parents

    and 2 siblings, I'm grateful I have them. I have quite a big family of uncles, aunties and cousins, it may sound strange for an outsider to hear but I don't really want anything to do with them. I haven't seen most of them in years, the other few I rarely see and don't make an...
    lovetodraw19 lovetodraw19 18-21, F Jul 14

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    Grandparents My maternal grandparents are just

    two of those kinds of people that you see while you're out doing something and just desperately try to avoid. They are so annoying, they are so rude, and they never know when to stop talking or spouting disrespectful things about... well, everyone who isn't straight, white and...
    JulietteLilyhammer JulietteLilyhammer 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 10

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    I am now "that one." The one in the family

    that no one talks to. Part of me feels a certain freedom because I know that I have broken away from a pack of selfish liars. But I would be lying if I said it doesn't bother me at all. It does, but I have to move on and live my life. I haven't figured out a good way to...
    goldilks goldilks 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17, 2014

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    I'm Just Not Like Them.

    I haven't spoken to my younger sister since just before Christmas. My dad was planning a dinner, and since most of my sibs live in one city, he wanted to meet there. I live over two hours away, and was working the date in question... and since I work retail management, during...
    lapinova lapinova 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 4, 2009

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    I Was Chosen... Then Estranged

    I was put up for adoption when I was 2 1/2 years old. I lived for a year at a foster home, which I vaguely remember. I was adopted at age 3 1/2. I had apparently been abused sexually before I was adopted, as I was very sexual. It really freaked My ultra catholic parents out. My...
    Sirkind Sirkind 41-45, M 4 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    Getting Through The Holidays With Peace

    Hello All, I'm writing to all of you who may be feeling a little sad, or even very depressed, during the holiday season. If you are not with family, it can be very hard. Even if you are choosing to be separate from them, it's hard to be without a family during this time. It's...
    4tptl 4tptl 41-45 3 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    I had a bad childhood

    and my relationship with my family has not improved enough to be of much comfort to me. My eldest brother died a couple of months ago, and the year of his illness really showed me that I do not fit into my family. I thought that everyone was mean and petty during the process. I...
    SlowLo SlowLo 51-55, F 1 Response Jul 16, 2014

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    There Is Too Much Emphasis On Reconciliation

    There is just way too much pressure put on people by society in general to reconcile with their estranged family members. Each case is different and reconciliation isn't always the best choice. Often, trying to reconcile with estranged family members means allowing toxic people...
    CaliforniaSun CaliforniaSun 56-60, F 7 Responses May 23, 2012

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    Mother. As an adult I have discovered

    that my mom was really pretty abusive wjth me as a kid. Apparently forcing a child to eat raw hamburger because he gave his brother a cold hot dog is not okay. I didnt think anything of it back then. i have also learned that the way I feel around her (overwhelmed, on edge, antsy...
    TwiztidDremz TwiztidDremz 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 10

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    I Hate Them All

    My parents are immigrants so I have no other family in this country and my dad left my mum when I was 7. My mum had/has anger issues, always yelling and screaming at us. I hated her and I'm pretty sure I still hate her. My dad was ok we still saw him a little but he started...
    Atshi Atshi 26-30, F 8 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    Your Ex Daughter,You Can't Hurt Me Anymore(Open

    Letter to My So Called Mother)- It's me. The child that has been "missing" according to your lies for nearly 15 years. That child is all grown up now but rest assured she remembers you and all that you did to her. That little girl remembers how you bellowed and cussed her like...
    ZolotayaWurola ZolotayaWurola 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 15, 2014

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    One day my baby girl will ask

    why she doesn't know her aunt, uncles, grandmother or grandfather. I'm dreading ever telling her why, and I don't know if she'll forgive me or understand. I don't know if she'll reach out to them, only to be given their side of the story. Or worse: my parents would abuse her...
    rhiajanita rhiajanita 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 30

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    I am conflicted in this aspect of life.

    I am still dependent on my parents as I still live at home but home life has always been chaotic. When my brother and I were young mom and dad always fought and yelled at each other while we would hide in our rooms. He would go out with friends while I would usually stay inside...
    zeframcochrane zeframcochrane 18-21 Jul 15

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    Fractured Family

    I currently have no contact with my mother, sister or any members of my mother's side of the family. This is not necessarily by choice, though I've learned to embrace the circumstances, seeing as how it's eliminated a great deal of stress and anxiety from my life. My mother...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 5 Responses Jul 23, 2010

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    Waited for dad to be dad.

    Retaliated when hurt. Stole from family when young. So they punnish forever. And save money. But claim loans wreck family. To justify saving cash. While family suffers. From no loans. They call it tough love. Me calls it wealthy programming. That...
    Converted Converted 46-50, M Apr 7

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    My mother and I were in a court battle.

    I lost. Since then I have refused to speak to her. She sends me letters stated she loves me etc. The latest letter she has tried guilt. She sent a hanky and wrote I hope we won't need this hanky for tears of regret. I'm sending the hanky back to her. No words. There will be no...
    Badina Badina 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 26, 2014

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    I don't want to keep in contact with people

    who have done nothing but put me down, used me, and hurt me the majority of my life. I don't see the point of that. Because they're family? Pfft! "You don't turn your back on family," my dad used to say. I'd scoff, because he's the first to have turned his back on "family." What...
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 31-35 2 Responses May 14, 2014

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    Outcast

    I’m the outcast, the left out, the missing in action The family member forgotten I’m the scapegoat The black sheep I’m the thrown away The door mat The reviled one The gossiped about I only find things out If I hunt for them Stumble across them For all is kept from me I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 26, 2012

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    I'm Finally Done.

    Previously I have written on here that I am estranged from my family, and haven't seen them for over a year. Although I did not have any desire to reconcile with them, I never actually got any closure and that was really starting to eat away at me.At times I would feel guilty for...