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I Am Estranged From Family Members

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,217 People

    My Sister Seems To Hate Me

    I have been estranged from my sister (older by 4 years) for over 5 years now and both in our forties.Before the estrangement, which I instigated, I always adored her and wanted more than anything for her to value and love me back.  Her husband used to work in the RAF and was...
    betsymay betsymay 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2011

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    Yesterday I found out my grandfather on my

    father's side has lung cancer. I know this will sound terrible but when I found out I just felt numb. I hate when anybody gets cancer because it's horrible but I didn't feel much for my grandfather. He hasn't spoken to me since I was little. He never cares to visit or call us...
    ComplicatedGirl18 ComplicatedGirl18 18-21, F 6 Responses Apr 29

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    Alright, first post on here.

    ... It's about my sister, we have not been friends for probably 5 or 6 years now... And over the last while the arguments have gotten pretty serious, she will do things like tell me to shut up constantly, smirk at me, insult me, put me down, leave to school without me, make me...
    easton11 easton11 16-17, M May 5, 2014

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    Parents Don't Call Me

    I read online about parents being estranged by their adult children.  Parents are not alone in being hurt by estrangement.  It is a commonality they share with some adult children as well.   I am a married man in my early forties.  I live...
    miketr2009 miketr2009 46-50, M 59 Responses Mar 11, 2009

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    Waited for dad to be dad.

    Retaliated when hurt. Stole from family when young. So they punnish forever. And save money. But claim loans wreck family. To justify saving cash. While family suffers. From no loans. They call it tough love. Me calls it wealthy programming. That...
    Converted Converted 46-50, M Apr 7

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    Said family member is coming into town this

    weekend for her once every 3 or 4 year weekend visit. It's always amazing to me how easily some can forgive and forget. I'm not the type to hold a grudge and I have forgiven her...but no way am I going to forget.
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 1 Response May 13

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    Either Way Hurts

    All I hear is how much I'm hurting my mother. Yet no one thinks that I'm hurting also. I admit, I gave up. I have several auto immune problems, yet to mom, I'm making all of this up. Yup, I'm taking all these drugs for fun. I wish I didn't have to. Yet my drug and alcohol...
    Flickie Flickie 31-35 3 Responses May 15, 2012

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    Outcast

    I’m the outcast, the left out, the missing in action The family member forgotten I’m the scapegoat The black sheep I’m the thrown away The door mat The reviled one The gossiped about I only find things out If I hunt for them Stumble across them For all is kept from me I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses May 26, 2012

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    I am presently estranged from my family,

    except for contact with an elderly mother. My sister and brother-in-law have children and tend to host most of the family gatherings claiming they like to and it is easier to get the kids all around. My problem is with my brother-in-law. He is narcissistic, bombastic, and a...
    Micikem Micikem 61-65, M Jul 23, 2014

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    I haven't seen my two cousins (on my father's

    side) for at least four years, while I only see my little cousin (my mother's side) once a year if I'm lucky.
    Seblett Seblett 13-15, F Sep 6, 2014

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    No Extended Family

    My husband and I are both estranged from family members and have little or no contact with much of our families.  Our children are starting to feel the effects of this and are asking why they have no grandparents, unc;es, aunts, or cousins.  Part of the problem is...
    flutetoot flutetoot 36-40 4 Responses Nov 25, 2009

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    Abandon By Birth Parents....shunned By Adopted Family 2 X Looser

    I live in a township of far less than 2000 people, everyone knows everything about all who live here. It is a very "religious" town. You don't have to go to church on sunday, but you had best get dressed up and head out to somewhere 'cause people are going to talk about you if...
    JennaR JennaR 46-50, F 6 Responses Aug 1, 2012

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    My mother and I have been in a court battle

    over my down syndrome brother for about a year now. At today's hearing I was tired (only 5 hrs sleep ), I let her have her way. I sat in court and wanted to scream NO when the judge said my brother was incompassitated. But I kept my mouth shut. My brother has been through too...
    Badina Badina 46-50, F Jun 6, 2014

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    I have two cousins (one a couple years older

    than me and one a couple years younger) with whom I was very close. Initially the older cousin and I had a very strong bond but we stopped speaking over 10 years ago due to her resentment of me. She felt that my life was easier than hers and that everything was given to me...
    LivLyfLuv LivLyfLuv 36-40, F May 19

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    Be Confident And Strong

    My family is like crabs in a barrel. When one tries to crawl out, another pulls it back in. I don't know about you, but I'm very happy, relieved and confident in my decision to cut ties with my family. I haven't spoken to my family in many years, and I haven't spoken to my mother...
    hollyhobbie76 hollyhobbie76 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 27, 2011

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    My mother and I were in a court battle.

    I lost. Since then I have refused to speak to her. She sends me letters stated she loves me etc. The latest letter she has tried guilt. She sent a hanky and wrote I hope we won't need this hanky for tears of regret. I'm sending the hanky back to her. No words. There will be no...
    Badina Badina 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 26, 2014

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    An Estrangement

    As a child and even until my early 20s I experienced all forms of abuse from my family.  I don't feel that I lack psychological and cognitive skills but apparently having no friends, an no life, I pretty much fit the bill.  I wonder if I am crazy all the time, or traumatized...
    steven7 steven7 26-30 5 Responses Apr 15, 2011

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    The Scapegoat

    It seems in my family, everyone needed someone to hate and to heap all their abuse on.  That person was me.  I know it's probably because I can be brutally honest, and not always very tactful (working on that), but I have done nothing to hurt any of these people, except...
    citizenxtrish citizenxtrish 56-60 9 Responses Oct 27, 2010

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    A Link to the Past

    A while back, I picked up my old video game systems from my dad's place. I really don't play video games at all, new or old, save for Pac-Man which I find to be therapeutic in a weird way. But I wanted to have these old games around. Maybe pop them in from time to time for...
    nonplussednonsense nonplussednonsense 26-30, M 7 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    Getting Through The Holidays With Peace

    Hello All, I'm writing to all of you who may be feeling a little sad, or even very depressed, during the holiday season. If you are not with family, it can be very hard. Even if you are choosing to be separate from them, it's hard to be without a family during this time. It's...
    4tptl 4tptl 41-45 3 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    Family Values All Wrong

      From the age of 8 up until l was 11 l was  subjected to sexual abuse from my older brother and mental and physical abuse from my mother. Its been over 20years when this took place but the mental scars never went away. In April 2008 l took a step that has changed my...
    chinyereo chinyereo 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 16, 2009

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    My sister. She hates

    that I discipline my kids...I'm sorry (actually I'm not, that's sarcasm) by my kids don't rule the house. As a parent it's my job to teach and train my kids. She does not want hers around me because of this. Our dad has custody of her kids. She flat out said OCS does not...
    teadiva teadiva 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    I don't have a very strong bond with my family,

    and it has never bothered me once.
    Blanckov Blanckov 16-17, M 1 Response Dec 17, 2014

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    I'm Just Not Like Them.

    I haven't spoken to my younger sister since just before Christmas. My dad was planning a dinner, and since most of my sibs live in one city, he wanted to meet there. I live over two hours away, and was working the date in question... and since I work retail management, during...
    lapinova lapinova 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 4, 2009

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    You left before you are gonethe pain of mourning

    while still in this realm is far too similarIt does not need to be this wayYet you insistThe 28 years we had before were a sham?Were you humoring me?Was the hatred always there?Or is it simply indifference?Because it sure as hell ain't loveAll these unfinished wordsThese wounds...
    30Forward 30Forward 31-35 Jun 1, 2014

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    Their Loss, Not Mine.

    I have two brothers and one sister I know from childhood. We lived together and they got grown enough to move on their own ways. I'm in contact with my big sister, but she lives thousands of miles away. We talk maybe every other month on the phone and e mail. My oldest...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    Fractured Family

    I currently have no contact with my mother, sister or any members of my mother's side of the family. This is not necessarily by choice, though I've learned to embrace the circumstances, seeing as how it's eliminated a great deal of stress and anxiety from my life. My mother...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 5 Responses Jul 23, 2010

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    I had a bad childhood

    and my relationship with my family has not improved enough to be of much comfort to me. My eldest brother died a couple of months ago, and the year of his illness really showed me that I do not fit into my family. I thought that everyone was mean and petty during the process. I...
    SlowLo SlowLo 51-55, F 1 Response Jul 16, 2014

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    When Mother’s Day rolled around,

    I proudly exclaimed “Nope!” when asked if I had called my mother. I had cut my family out of my life and I was determined to move forward. I thought I had finally put the past behind me. But ever since that day I haven’t been able to stop thinking about my family, and I...
    GiantKaiju GiantKaiju 22-25, M 2 Responses Jun 19, 2014

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    Your Ex Daughter,You Can't Hurt Me Anymore(Open

    Letter to My So Called Mother)- It's me. The child that has been "missing" according to your lies for 13 years. That child is all grown up now but rest assured she remembers you and all that you did to her. That little girl remembers how you bellowed and cussed her like a dog...
    ZolotayaWurola ZolotayaWurola 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 15, 2014

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    I don't want to keep in contact with people

    who have done nothing but put me down, used me, and hurt me the majority of my life. I don't see the point of that. Because they're family? Pfft! "You don't turn your back on family," my dad used to say. I'd scoff, because he's the first to have turned his back on "family." What...
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 31-35 2 Responses May 14, 2014

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    My life changed for the worse

    when my younger out of anger and envy went to my parents and told many thing about me many true and many very false. He told them I used drugs, was agnostic, did not believe in the bible, among other things . My parents are traditional Catholics and believe faith more than...
    safetyvalve safetyvalve 41-45, M 1 Response Jun 2

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    Curses, Norman Rockwell!

    Once again the holidays are approaching. This is a time of year when I enjoy baking, cooking, decorating, being outside, pretty much everything about the season.It makes me nostalgic, as even as dysfunctional and abusive as my family of childhood was, I've been able to cling to...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    I am now "that one." The one in the family

    that no one talks to. Part of me feels a certain freedom because I know that I have broken away from a pack of selfish liars. But I would be lying if I said it doesn't bother me at all. It does, but I have to move on and live my life. I haven't figured out a good way to...
    goldilks goldilks 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 17, 2014

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    I have posted on other experiences here,

    I am estranged from my father and wife, my wife because of some really stupid ideas my father had about me and the requirements of me being a man in my community. She was easily manipulated into what my father wanted because of her mental illness. Bi polar, it took me years to...
    toughth toughth 56-60, M 1 Response Jun 16, 2014

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    Ever since I was 18 I moved out from San Diego

    to Los Angeles. I am now 28 and can maybe count with my two hands how many times my parents have called. They call on my birthday or if someone died, in the hospital, or in need to be listened to about their mental health issues. When I would call they will never answer. At...
    RubRAINN RubRAINN 26-30 Sep 6, 2014

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    One day my baby girl will ask

    why she doesn't know her aunt, uncles, grandmother or grandfather. I'm dreading ever telling her why, and I don't know if she'll forgive me or understand. I don't know if she'll reach out to them, only to be given their side of the story. Or worse: my parents would abuse her...
    rhiajanita rhiajanita 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 30

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    I have been estranged from my older domineering

    sister for several years. around other family members she pretends that this is just some quaint thing that i'm doing and that i'll get over soon. to other people she is vicious and mean about me and my family, in a way that's horrifying to us. the problem is is that family...
    zeldafitzgerald zeldafitzgerald 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2014

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    Ever since I was 18 I moved out from San Diego

    to Los Angeles. I am now 28 and can maybe count with my two hands how many times my parents have called. They call on my birthday or if someone died, in the hospital, or in need to be listened to about their mental health issues. When I would call they will never answer. At...
    RubRAINN RubRAINN 26-30 1 Response Sep 6, 2014

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    There Is Too Much Emphasis On Reconciliation

    There is just way too much pressure put on people by society in general to reconcile with their estranged family members. Each case is different and reconciliation isn't always the best choice. Often, trying to reconcile with estranged family members means allowing toxic people...
    CaliforniaSun CaliforniaSun 56-60, F 7 Responses May 23, 2012

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    Best Decision Of My Life

    Most people make out estrangement to be some tragic, unfortunate circumstance; outsiders wail "You need your family! Isn't there any way you can get along?". I, on the other hand, say I don't need family that has abused me and treats me like crap. Spending my entire childhood...
    devouringflames devouringflames 22-25, F 7 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    I'm Finally Done.

    Previously I have written on here that I am estranged from my family, and haven't seen them for over a year. Although I did not have any desire to reconcile with them, I never actually got any closure and that was really starting to eat away at me.At times I would feel guilty for...
    ScaredSweet ScaredSweet 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 11, 2013

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    I Hate Them All

    My parents are immigrants so I have no other family in this country and my dad left my mum when I was 7. My mum had/has anger issues, always yelling and screaming at us. I hated her and I'm pretty sure I still hate her. My dad was ok we still saw him a little but he started...
    Atshi Atshi 26-30, F 8 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    I can't wait until my mother is dead.

    My father is declining and I think I am angry at him, too, but don't feel it as much as I do towards my mother, who is the narcissist. He just didn't stop her, protect me, or even really listen to me. I don't want to visit even if he is dying because I would probably want to...
    culturedancer culturedancer 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 30, 2014

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    Hi everyone. My name is Becca

    and I'm writing from a UK charity called Stand Alone. We're currently in the process of researching family estrangement, and are looking for participants to take part in an online study. We're based in the UK but would be interested in hearing from people worldwide who have no...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 1 Response Feb 21

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    I Was Chosen... Then Estranged

    I was put up for adoption when I was 2 1/2 years old. I lived for a year at a foster home, which I vaguely remember. I was adopted at age 3 1/2. I had apparently been abused sexually before I was adopted, as I was very sexual. It really freaked My ultra catholic parents out. My...
    Sirkind Sirkind 41-45, M 4 Responses Nov 4, 2013