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I Am Estranged From Family Members

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,008 People

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    My mother, now passed, was a severe alcoholic. My sister left the country for 12 years and I was devastated. Only 20 years old at the time. I had no one. Some extended family, but that's it. My sister and I are now estranged after a series of events. I feel as though I have tried...
    Jackie1979 Jackie1979 31-35, F 2 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Its Been About Two Years...

    In 2011, my mother verbally abused me, threatened me and then assaulted me in front of my kids. Feb 13,2011.Its a day i'll never forget.The day my life changed forever and the life i knew before was forever changed. I came from A West-Indian,Mixed, Puerto Rican family and...
    mixieloca mixieloca 31-35, F Sep 5, 2013

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    Be Confident And Strong

    My family is like crabs in a barrel. When one tries to crawl out, another pulls it back in. I don't know about you, but I'm very happy, relieved and confident in my decision to cut ties with my family. I haven't spoken to my family in many years, and I haven't spoken to my mother...
    hollyhobbie76 hollyhobbie76 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 27, 2011

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    Must Be Something About Me

    in my family, people werent close. i spent a lot of time alone as a kid. we didnt have company much at all. my father had run away from his family (on a reservation in oklahoma) when he was a kid, and so we never really knew many people on his side. if he was still alive now, i...
    kittten kittten 46-50, F 8 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Stand Alone Is Here

    Hey Folks, Stand Alone is the only international charity to support adults that are estranged from their family. We're going now, and running meet-up groups in London on the run up to Christmas. We'd really like to hear from as many estranged people as possible so we can plan...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 Sep 26, 2013

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    Accepting My Life Without Them....Only Took Me 44 Years!

    I have been on here before back in 2009, under a different name and I told you about my mother and sister's hatred of me and how they made me feel like an outcast. They systematically put me down, taunted me, badmouthed me to other family members and family friends, told people...
    freedbird45 freedbird45 41-45, F Sep 8, 2013

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    Becoming, more so. Although still living at

    home with my parents and sister, I don't feel like I'm a part of the 'family' nor do I feel like they want me around anymore. It makes me pretty sad and depressed honestly. I just wrote out an entire list on how to not be annoying after my mom told me to not crowd her - yet...
    quietloner13 quietloner13 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 12

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    My Role In My Family

    Sometimes I don't know where I really came from. If I didn't look so much like my dad I'd think there was someone else..........  Anyway it seems like my role in my family is as the family target.  I've heard that no matter what a person does, once you've been cast in your...
    veiledsadness veiledsadness 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 14, 2013

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    I am estranged from my most of my family

    even the two children I gave birth to. It has been a agonizing experience and the holidays were bad until I got my dog. People are suppose to have family. Most of my family and even my own children I do not trust. I am moving forward and I feel at peace now that I have accepted...
    clarity888 clarity888 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    I Became Estranged Against My Will

    I've already talked some about this in another post of mine, but I've been stuck in the middle of a dispute between my dad's family and my mom. My mom claims some incident happened in my dad's family and she's hated my dad and his family ever since. As far as I'm aware, no one...
    BlueColored BlueColored 22-25, F Oct 22, 2013

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    Either Way Hurts

    All I hear is how much I'm hurting my mother. Yet no one thinks that I'm hurting also. I admit, I gave up. I have several auto immune problems, yet to mom, I'm making all of this up. Yup, I'm taking all these drugs for fun. I wish I didn't have to. Yet my drug and alcohol...
    Flickie Flickie 31-35 3 Responses May 15, 2012

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    I have been estranged from my father

    for a year and a half and my brothers for about six months. My mother died about eleven years ago and right after I stepped in to help my dad take care of the house. As the years passed I was trying to become more independent but my father would stop me. He liked having the...
    acceptinglove acceptinglove 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 21

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    Estranged

    My parents were not happy with the wife I chose. They encouraged a divorce and then always wondered why I stopped speaking to them. They continued to turn the rest of my family against me. They would make up stories about me, making themselves the victims. It wasn't long before...
    nui347 nui347 36-40, M 4 Responses Nov 5, 2013

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    An Estrangement

    As a child and even until my early 20s I experienced all forms of abuse from my family.  I don't feel that I lack psychological and cognitive skills but apparently having no friends, an no life, I pretty much fit the bill.  I wonder if I am crazy all the time, or traumatized...
    steven7 steven7 26-30 6 Responses Apr 15, 2011

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    Why Don't More People Know About Estrangements?

    I have been involved in a 4 - 5 year estrangement that's affected most aspects of my life. It's only just beginning to thaw, but during the really worst times, I decided I wanted to do something about these crises as -- everyone I talked to about my problem seemed to have a...
    wbe1 wbe1 41-45, M 6 Responses Jul 12, 2012

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    Two Sisters

    I have two sisters that I have had no contact with since I was a teenager. They were in my life when I was in grade school, but then they dropped out of my life. One of them made contact with me once when I was a teenager. Other than that I don't even know if they are still alive...
    lyricaldemise lyricaldemise 36-40 2 Responses Sep 18, 2013

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    I am 32, and deployed to Iraq three times.

    I was in the service for 9 years and not once did anyone in my family even mention to visit me. Although I flew home for all of the major holidays. Not only that, they never came to visit when I returned from overseas or got any kind of homecoming. Now that I am "out", it's...
    jscott8064 jscott8064 31-35, M 2 Responses Feb 2

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    Family Member Estrangement

    I am now an adult (40+). My father has never sent me a birthday card, and he has never called me for my birthday. I had a birthday this past Saturday and I waited anxiously all day hoping to receive a call from him. But as midnight drew near, I knew that once again, for another...
    karenslee karenslee 41-45 2 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    Mixed Signals

    Found out yesterday that while my husband was helping his mother clean out his late uncle's apartment she asked him if he knew someone with a pick-up truck that would be willing to move some furniture. He told her he did know someone, but he would need some gas money. It turns...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 2 Responses May 24, 2013

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    Fool Me Once

    Growing up, I remember constantly arguing with my parents. Screaming and yelling are pretty much the only memories I have of them. Maybe that's how all parent-child relationships are, I don't really know, but I got sick of it pretty fast. My parents were very authoritarian, so...
    GiantKaiju GiantKaiju 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 17, 2013

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    Agreeing To Disagree

    My story really isn't all that unique. It's really not even all that complicated. It's actually pretty cut and dry...I am estranged from my family because I am a lesbian. (See my story, The Life and Times of Little Brother.)My family and I go through periods of talking to and...
    texastomboy texastomboy 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    Outcast

    I’m the outcast, the left out, the missing in action The family member forgotten I’m the scapegoat The black sheep I’m the thrown away The door mat The reviled one The gossiped about I only find things out If I hunt for them Stumble across them For all is kept from me I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses May 26, 2012

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    I'm Finally Done.

    Previously I have written on here that I am estranged from my family, and haven't seen them for over a year. Although I did not have any desire to reconcile with them, I never actually got any closure and that was really starting to eat away at me.At times I would feel guilty for...
    ScaredSweet ScaredSweet 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 11, 2013

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    My Mistakes

    I grew up in an extremely close family. I was the only girl with 2 older brothers and boy cousins. My favorite childhood memories are those that include my whole family; my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and my cousins. My grandparents were instrumental in keeping us...
    Runningmel Runningmel 41-45, F 2 Responses Oct 7, 2013

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    Never Thought This Would Happen

    I always valued my family. Always overlooked wrongs that they did and gave the benefit of the doubt to them. There is one sister who is out of control. She plays her lifes troubles like a well tuned violin. Unfortunately she has my mom sucked into here woe is me world. Mother...
    lotteryloser lotteryloser 51-55 3 Responses Jun 4, 2013

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    Parents Don't Call Me

    I read online about parents being estranged by their adult children.  Parents are not alone in being hurt by estrangement.  It is a commonality they share with some adult children as well.   I am a married man in my early forties.  I live...
    miketr2009 miketr2009 46-50, M 44 Responses Mar 11, 2009

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    Cut Off

    It's been 12 weeks since any family, friends, or now her ex-work have physically seen or heard my sister's voice. I don't know what happened. I don't know why. I don't know how long it will go on. She could be dead in the desert, strung out on drugs, or brainwashed. All less...
    kiki388 kiki388 22-25, F Aug 11, 2013

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    A Meeting For Estranged People In London

    Hello, I’m writing to remind you of Stand Alone’s first meeting on Sunday 7th July in London, and to confirm the venue details and times. Stand Alone is the only charity dedicated to supporting estranged people. Our first meeting will be held at The Blacksmith and The...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 Jun 25, 2013

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    My Sister Seems To Hate Me

    I have been estranged from my sister (older by 4 years) for over 5 years now and both in our forties.Before the estrangement, which I instigated, I always adored her and wanted more than anything for her to value and love me back.  Her husband used to work in the RAF and was...
    betsymay betsymay 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2011

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    Best Decision Of My Life

    Most people make out estrangement to be some tragic, unfortunate circumstance; outsiders wail "You need your family! Isn't there any way you can get along?". I, on the other hand, say I don't need family that has abused me and treats me like crap. Spending my entire childhood...
    devouringflames devouringflames 22-25, F 6 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    Today would have been my father's 94th birthday.

    It's funny that I have better feelings for him now than I did when he was alive. Perhaps it has something to do with his last words about me (that I heard) were referring to me as a "bastard"? My sibs are a mixed bag. We cover the entire range of the baby boomer generation...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M Mar 14

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    Getting Through The Holidays With Peace

    Hello All, I'm writing to all of you who may be feeling a little sad, or even very depressed, during the holiday season. If you are not with family, it can be very hard. Even if you are choosing to be separate from them, it's hard to be without a family during this time. It's...
    4tptl 4tptl 41-45 4 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    Not Willing To Put Up With Drama

    I have a large family- aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, step-cousins, on both sides. But I don't speak to any of them. The only family members I still speak to are my parents, one of my brothers, and one grandmother.My family has repeatedly manipulated, lied, cheated, stolen...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 27, 2013

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    Family Values All Wrong

      From the age of 8 up until l was 11 l was  subjected to sexual abuse from my older brother and mental and physical abuse from my mother. Its been over 20years when this took place but the mental scars never went away. In April 2008 l took a step that has changed my...
    chinyereo chinyereo 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 16, 2009

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    It Started When My Parents Died.

    Let me give you a littke background first. My name is Mick, I'm 52 and I'm the youngest of 6 kids, and yes its true what people say about the youngest being spoilt, I was spoilt rotten, but thats not my fault becauseI never asked for it. My dad died from Cancer In 1998 and my...
    Micky821 Micky821 51-55, M Sep 22, 2013

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    Fractured Family

    I currently have no contact with my mother, sister or any members of my mother's side of the family. This is not necessarily by choice, though I've learned to embrace the circumstances, seeing as how it's eliminated a great deal of stress and anxiety from my life. My mother...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 5 Responses Jul 23, 2010

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    Have always been estranged from them,

    but for the last few years, I don't even share the same space as them, and once one starts that practice, its almost a "point of no return" thing. But perhaps next time I will enter their sphere as some human drugged up version of a airplane going really slow and from side to...
    0nest0 0nest0 31-35, M 1 Response Apr 12

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    No Extended Family

    My husband and I are both estranged from family members and have little or no contact with much of our families.  Our children are starting to feel the effects of this and are asking why they have no grandparents, unc;es, aunts, or cousins.  Part of the problem is...
    flutetoot flutetoot 36-40 4 Responses Nov 25, 2009

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    Abandon By Birth Parents....shunned By Adopted Family 2 X Looser

    I live in a township of far less than 2000 people, everyone knows everything about all who live here. It is a very "religious" town. You don't have to go to church on sunday, but you had best get dressed up and head out to somewhere 'cause people are going to talk about you if...
    JennaR JennaR 46-50, F 7 Responses Aug 1, 2012

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    A Link to the Past

    A while back, I picked up my old video game systems from my dad's place. I really don't play video games at all, new or old, save for Pac-Man which I find to be therapeutic in a weird way. But I wanted to have these old games around. Maybe pop them in from time to time for...
    nonplussednonsense nonplussednonsense 26-30, M 7 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    Making Our Own Family Connections

    I never had much of a family or was stable enough when I was younger to maintain healthy relationships however over time I have been part of Hugssociety and learned not only how to maintain and keep friendships alive but make a family that I could support and who I could accept...
    Hugsdirector Hugsdirector 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    Like many of you, mine is a long

    and complicated story. It begins with me raising twin girls from the age of three on, when my ex walked out. For the next 12 years I did it all. Raised my kids, worked full time, got my graduate degree. I had no weekends alone. For over a decade, I never went anywhere overnight...
    maiop maiop 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    Scapegoat

    I'm 30 years old and just over 12 months ago my entire world fell down around me. My sister lied about sexual abuse in our family - not the abuse itself, but actually who had hurt her, and one by one my family turned against me and my partner because she was too scared to admit...
    liliha liliha 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 6, 2012

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    It Does More Harm Than Good

    I have tried many, many times to have healthy and happy relationships with my family members. It has gotten to the point where I realized that it is not to my benefit to be around them because they have so many issues. I have dealt with my issues over the decades but they have...
    TallCTGuy TallCTGuy 51-55, M 1 Response Aug 26, 2012

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    Why Won't They Just Go Away?!

    I've been married to my husband for 29 years this June. I've spent 30 years trying to get his family to accept me.For several short bursts of time, I've felt part of the 'extended family', but it never lasts for long and I usually end up being blamed for the division and distance...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 3 Responses May 23, 2013

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    I'm Just Not Like Them.

    I haven't spoken to my younger sister since just before Christmas. My dad was planning a dinner, and since most of my sibs live in one city, he wanted to meet there. I live over two hours away, and was working the date in question... and since I work retail management, during...
    lapinova lapinova 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 4, 2009

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    SAD TO DISOWN MY MOM!!!

    I just became estranged from my mother 3 days ago. It has been a long time coming and it was with much thought that I decided to write her a letter and end our relationship. Basically I am the youngest of five kids. I'm 35 years old and the rest are in their forties. We grew up...
    army78 army78 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 1, 2013

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    Curses, Norman Rockwell!

    Once again the holidays are approaching. This is a time of year when I enjoy baking, cooking, decorating, being outside, pretty much everything about the season.It makes me nostalgic, as even as dysfunctional and abusive as my family of childhood was, I've been able to cling to...
    rollingwithhusky rollingwithhusky 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    Relational Drift

    I am not quite sure how it happened, the drifting from my father. There wasn't a single large reason we stopped speaking. Instead, there were lots of little ones that made frequent communication difficult. He was a republican. I was a democrat. He worked the same job at a leather...
    jaa123 jaa123 22-25, F Sep 26, 2013

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    The Scapegoat

    It seems in my family, everyone needed someone to hate and to heap all their abuse on.  That person was me.  I know it's probably because I can be brutally honest, and not always very tactful (working on that), but I have done nothing to hurt any of these people, except...
    citizenxtrish citizenxtrish 56-60 9 Responses Oct 27, 2010

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    I Was Chosen... Then Estranged

    I was put up for adoption when I was 2 1/2 years old. I lived for a year at a foster home, which I vaguely remember. I was adopted at age 3 1/2. I had apparently been abused sexually before I was adopted, as I was very sexual. It really freaked My ultra catholic parents out. My...
    Sirkind Sirkind 41-45, M 6 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    There Is Too Much Emphasis On Reconciliation

    There is just way too much pressure put on people by society in general to reconcile with their estranged family members. Each case is different and reconciliation isn't always the best choice. Often, trying to reconcile with estranged family members means allowing toxic people...
    CaliforniaSun CaliforniaSun 56-60, F 6 Responses May 23, 2012

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    Protect The Family Image

    23 years ago, while I was living with my sister and her husband, I was assaulted by my brother-in-law. While he didn’t rape me he straddled me, pinned my hands to the floor over my head, and tried to kiss me. When I told my parents what happened, they said it was no big deal...
    moosefire moosefire 41-45 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    Their Loss, Not Mine.

    I have two brothers and one sister I know from childhood. We lived together and they got grown enough to move on their own ways. I'm in contact with my big sister, but she lives thousands of miles away. We talk maybe every other month on the phone and e mail. My oldest...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    I Hate Them All

    My parents are immigrants so I have no other family in this country and my dad left my mum when I was 7. My mum had/has anger issues, always yelling and screaming at us. I hated her and I'm pretty sure I still hate her. My dad was ok we still saw him a little but he started...
    Atshi Atshi 26-30, F 8 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Just because my mother got married she wants to move, but I have no interest in getting to know her husband. I'm being rushed into a situation and everything my other family...
    Kperr14 Kperr14 13-15, F Apr 4

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    I grew up the youngest in a family of all boys. My family was very religious but secretly abusive. My parents divorced at 12 and I was given to my mother due to me being abused by...
    spiffyjodzilla spiffyjodzilla 26-30, F 1 Response