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I Am Estranged From My Parents

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 288 People

    I have been estranged from my parents

    and sister for almost 15 years. The holidays are very hard. On top of loneliness, I have overwhelming feelings of shame and embarrassment (especially with co-workers, potential friends and prospective partners) surrounding this issue. How do you explain your estrangement to...
    Omchandrayanamaha Omchandrayanamaha 36-40, M 5 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    I have decided to cut my parents out of my life.

    My brother was physically abusive to me when we were both staying with my parents after college. They permitted him to continue living with me so I had to move out. Fast forward 4 years later and I have made plans to stay with them over Easter. They then tell me my brother is...
    val72 val72 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 13, 2014

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    Emotionally and intellectually.

    I've actually been living with them for the last several months. So I can't wait till I'm back to full estrangement again.
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jan 27, 2015

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    3.5 years down and this morning I woke in tears.

    My dreams are getting worse, more vivid and the ones that screw my head up the most are where my mother is being lovely. How do you deal with these dreams? My heads in bits....
    violetcherry violetcherry 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    Estranged From Parents For Almost A Decade Now

    It's so hard to be estranged from your parents no matter what the circumstances are. Whether its your fault, their fault or both, the hurt is still the same for both parties in my opinion.At 16, I ran away from home because I was tired of the abuse from my Dad. Little did I know...
    cleecaldwell cleecaldwell 26-30 3 Responses May 4, 2012

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    My Story...

    I've currently been estranged from my parents for coming up on a year in may.  It's been a gradual process since I moved out 10 years ago at 17. My mom is bipolar and my dad spends his life cleaning up after her. I grew up with an adopted sister that was institutionalized...
    ragdoll83 ragdoll83 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 23, 2010

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    My mom reached out in a handwritten letter a

    couple weeks ago. She made no expectations but apologized for her behavior, and said she loves us all. I wrote her back wanting to keep things open, and sent her about 50 photos of the last 2 years of my daughter growing up. She lives 2000 miles away, so she only just got them 2...
    frostyflower frostyflower 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 19, 2015

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    Not plural. Just my father,

    the narcissist.
    HelloCleo HelloCleo 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 2, 2015

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    planeurchin planeurchin 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 1, 2014

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    Today is going to be a hard day.

    I am going on a month not speaking to my mom. I am seeing a counselor to move forward. He says I am mourning the loss of the relationship I thought I could have with her. I thought I would feel better when I cut her out, but instead I feel angry about how poorly she has...
    val72 val72 26-30, F 4 Responses May 11, 2014

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    I have recently become estranged by

    both parents. I could not take the constant harassment for money and verbal abuse from my father. My mother has never been happy for me but always jealous. They believe that since I was born it is my responsibility to support them, not the other way around. My father was rarely...
    pc3907 pc3907 36-40, F 4 Responses Dec 2, 2014

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    Estranged/abandoned

    I don't know what I am looking for in this. I am nearing twenty-five and my parents and I have not spoken in almost two years. Our experience was pretty terrible growing up. On a day to day basis, I was at best ignored or treated with apathy or at worst physically abused. I had...
    neuronerd neuronerd 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    How is it going today

    for you guys? I am on my third week of estrangement after deciding that I won't let my parents control me any longer. I am starting to realize all the manipulative **** they pulled on me and am getting angrier and angrier. I am wondering when I can go back to being happy again.
    val72 val72 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 30, 2014

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    I want to put my story out there,

    so here it goes. First, my father. It's been just over 7 years since I last had anything to do with my father. When I was in junior high, my father molested me. I repressed it for several years, but I eventually remembered. My boyfriend at the time had actually asked me if...
    PandorasRose PandorasRose 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 6, 2014

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    I am thinking about writing a letter to my

    parents like some of you have suggested. I want to tell them that I will not speak to them until they protect me from my violent brother. They must treat me as an adult and apologize for their behavior. I bet they can't say they are sorry, so they will be cut out for good. I am...
    val72 val72 26-30, F 2 Responses May 13, 2014

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    I grew up in a severely traumatic childhood.

    I think most of people who choose to be estranged / deserted their parent has a strong, valid and often painful reason to do so - most of us has been emotionally & psychologically abused severely. our childhood impacts us into adulthood - and it is often a painful and lonely...
    hikariblue hikariblue 22-25, F Oct 28, 2015

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    It Gets Better - A Lot Better

    Hello. I just came across this website today, and felt compelled to share my story. I am the first born of three children. My father died in a car accident when I was seven months old, from his own decision of drinking & driving. My mother had remarried a year and a half later...
    dley0000 dley0000 31-35 8 Responses Sep 24, 2011

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    My brother and his wife,

    very kindly, suggested I send a no strings, no expectations "Season's Greetings" to my parents. I just re-read, start to finish, the entirety of the emails from the 3 day fight. Nope. Not going to contact them. Ever.
    frostyflower frostyflower 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2014

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    Haven't spoken with my parents in 6 years.

    I have three other siblings and they only speak to my one sister. They have three children and 6 grandchildren, 4 whom they haven't met, and they see none of us. It is a mutual lack of desire, but I'm just shocked how much they don't care...it seems unnatural.
    Bullbuddy Bullbuddy 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 18, 2014

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    My Difficult And Complicated Family Relationships Are Partly What Brought Me Here

    I was wanting to connect to others in a way that seemed safe, and also where I could find kindred souls, because being estranged from family can put a hole in your heart. At this point I guess i am only ready to say that.
    ultimatereality ultimatereality 46-50, F 4 Responses Jan 12, 2012

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    Smartest, Most Healing, And Wisest Decision I've Ever Made

    Cutting off all contact with my dysfunctional parents was the best thing I could have done for myself. Since taking that step (nearly fifteen years ago as of this writing), I have experienced profound healing and growth. I had to go through stages of mourning, and it took me a...
    Existentiality Existentiality 46-50, F 7 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    Oh Holidays! a time for warmth,

    family and friends, food, lights, and presents. And my Christmas gift is an email from my father that my parents are officially separating. Here's an excerpt of the holiday cheer: ------ "your mom and I are permanently separated. she doesn't want me to know where she lives. I...
    frostyflower frostyflower 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 8, 2014

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    It hasn't been very long,

    but it is no less painful. I've stuck with them through alcoholism and domestic violence. I remember mom's black eye, my sprained wrist and staying in a hotel paid for by a women's shelter even though they think I forgot all of that. Mom has always leaned on me as her therapist...
    troubledwater1 troubledwater1 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 16, 2014

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    My third part of my story.

    Well its been nearly 2.5 years since my "fall out" with my parents and Ive learnt a lot. The one thing Im struggling with is "moving on". So my parents refuse to acknowledge anything bad in my childhood, they are both narcissists and I have had to make numerous changes to...
    violetcherry violetcherry 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 31, 2014

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    We're getting close to 2 years.

    Last night I talked to my brother on the phone, and for the first time, breached the topic of the estrangement. Apparently my father had been forwarding the emails to him during the fight, and is so irrational and unstable as to question and somewhat blame my brother for not...
    frostyflower frostyflower 31-35, F Nov 17, 2014

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    My estrangement from my family has been a slow,

    sometimes painful process. I came from a broken, abusive, alcoholic home. I am not saying that as a victim, it is a reality of my situation that I no longer refuse to deny. My mother is still living but I haven't spoken to her in many months. My sister wants nothing to do with...
    Ronrob Ronrob 41-45 2 Responses Jul 26, 2015

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    After thinking about my life

    and how I'd want it to go, I've made the decision to cut off both of my parents. My dad has been incarcerated for the most of my life and only writes me whenever he needs something. My mother is a single mother, and has three children, and I'm the eldest out of her daughters. I...
    Kne12 Kne12 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 31, 2015

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    I Am A Human Being.Not An object To Mistreat At

    Will-After years of being beaten by my mother's husband and even more time spent being an unpaid lackey for my mother I packed my bags in 2010 shortly after my 17th birthday. I placed the bags in my car,got in,and sped off vowing to NEVER look back. The first minutes were the...
    Serkha Serkha 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 23, 2014

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    Hi everyone. My name is Becca

    and I'm writing from a UK charity called Stand Alone. We're currently in the process of researching family estrangement, and are looking for participants to take part in an online study. We're based in the UK but would be interested in hearing from people worldwide who have no...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 Feb 21, 2015

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    My mother died in Jan of 2013.

    We were a very close family, I was lucky enough to be an only child. Now my dad is dating a bimbo that insisted to see him on Thanksgiving! I am appalled that he would go over there on a holiday! The selfish ***** expects to see him for Christmas, too! My heart is broken. My...
    mcrn96 mcrn96 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 30, 2014

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    Alone?

    I never fit in. I knew that from as far back as I can remember. I am adopted, more in the sence of it, but also the truth. My biological mother had no part of my life till I was 8. I was raised by family friends. After wedding an American service man she came back to gather me...
    jewelsbug jewelsbug 70+, F 1 Response Mar 12, 2013

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    I have been estranged

    since 2001. I had thought about cutting ties for at least 10 years prior to that. At times I was distant, but in 2001 after my mom died I knew I could no longer be a part of the controlling environment. I am excited to have found a support group. The most frustrating thing is...
    tckramer2003 tckramer2003 46-50 1 Response Oct 28, 2015

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    Beyond The Point Of Repair

    I posted earlier on here -- maybe a year ago -- about my estrangement from my parents. We briefly re-connected, met for a few meals, did some emails and even some phone calls, but things are not the same. They will never be the same -- and the truth is I don't want them to go...
    heather147 heather147 31-35 5 Responses Jul 30, 2013

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    An Organisation For Estranged People

    Hey Folks, My name is Becca Bland and I've been writing about estrangement in the national media here in the UK for the last six months. I've been posting some articles here for you guys to read. I am estranged, and I've been using my experiences to shed light on the stigma that...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 May 12, 2013

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    Wow I don't even know

    where to start….but in a nutshell, my father has been emotionally manipulative and abusive for his entire life. I did not really feel the wrath of his evil nature until I decided to get married. To make a very long story short, he does not want me to get married. I don't...
    kimalee77 kimalee77 31-35, F Jul 27, 2015

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    Access Denied: They Stole My Eldest Child- The

    loosening of ties started when I was about 14 and began to hunger to experience freedom. I gave birth to a baby girl shortly before my 16th birthday in March 2006. My stepfather(since I myself was a baby) had run off my baby's daddy since before I even knew I was pregnant and...
    BeingOracleSince90 BeingOracleSince90 22-25, F May 15, 2015

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    More family drama. I guess the holidays just

    bring out the best. -- I really feel for my brother right now. I know he is a very pragmatic, level headed, non-emotionally brash. He can be blunt but is never cruel. Yet this is the most recent exchange between him and our father. Reminder, my father is suffering from a rare...
    frostyflower frostyflower 31-35, F 4 Responses Dec 12, 2014

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    Torn Apart

    I've had a volatile relationship w/ my parents much of my life. My mother has abandonment issues, and projects her insecurities towards other family members. My father, while acknowledges my mother's problems, is passive towards taking direct constructive action with her. I've...
    Hoven Hoven 36-40, M 2 Responses Aug 11, 2010

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    We're All Ok With It.

    My problem with being estranged from my parents is; I feel guilty about it. Not about being estranged. I feel guilty because I’m OK with it. I don’t miss them at all. And they are OK with it too. I keep in touch occasionally with my sister. But that’s it. Whenever I made...
    Pabsan Pabsan 51-55, M 2 Responses Apr 2, 2012

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    It's Just Best To Cut All Ties.....

    All my life, i never felt as though my parents really loved me. They abandoned me when i was just a little under a year old. i was raised by my grandmother until about the age of 7. Then abruptly i was taken from my grandmother and forced to live with my parents again. the...
    atnguy2 atnguy2 46-50, F 2 Responses Mar 15, 2011

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    I Guess I'm Estranged From My Family

    Lately this has been in my mind that I'm "estranged" - I try to trace back to how this happened - and if I'm doing something wrong by not reaching out to my family - I know they must blame me for this - that something is wrong with me. Its that last thought that always gives me...
    heather147 heather147 31-35 10 Responses Jun 1, 2012

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    Ive rewritten this 5 times now.

    I don't know how to explain my family. I don't know how I'll ever make sense of it all. I feel guilty if I say anything bad about my parents, dispite all they did... How long do I have to be free before I feel safe?
    3grnowl 3grnowl 26-30 Jun 2, 2015

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    So Ive booked our wedding today

    and after 3 years of estrangement from my parents Im not inviting them. In fact there is only going to be 12 of us - his parents, my sister, our children and a set each of best friends. So I have a large family and they will all be cross that they are not invited, even though...
    violetcherry violetcherry 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 24, 2014

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    I have had no meaningful relationship with my

    father almost 25 years. We have traded emails perhaps once every year or so in the past 5. Today I received a LinkedIn request from him. It disturbs me. I have made it abundantly clear he is not welcome in my life, does not know (or didn't until today) where I live - and I live...
    Damon1974 Damon1974 41-45, M 1 Response May 29, 2014

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