I Am Estranged From My Parents

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 298 People

    Estranged From Parents For Almost A Decade Now

    It's so hard to be estranged from your parents no matter what the circumstances are. Whether its your fault, their fault or both, the hurt is still the same for both parties in my opinion.At 16, I ran away from home because I was tired of the abuse from my Dad. Little did I know...
    cleecaldwell cleecaldwell
    26-30
    3 Responses May 4, 2012

    I have been estranged

    since 2001. I had thought about cutting ties for at least 10 years prior to that. At times I was distant, but in 2001 after my mom died I knew I could no longer be a part of the controlling environment. I am excited to have found a support group. The most frustrating thing is...
    tckramer2003 tckramer2003
    46-50
    1 Response Oct 28, 2015

    My mother died in Jan of 2013.

    We were a very close family, I was lucky enough to be an only child. Now my dad is dating a bimbo that insisted to see him on Thanksgiving! I am appalled that he would go over there on a holiday! The selfish ***** expects to see him for Christmas, too! My heart is broken. My...
    mcrn96 mcrn96
    41-45, F
    1 Response Nov 30, 2014

    My Story...

    I've currently been estranged from my parents for coming up on a year in may.  It's been a gradual process since I moved out 10 years ago at 17. My mom is bipolar and my dad spends his life cleaning up after her. I grew up with an adopted sister that was institutionalized...
    ragdoll83 ragdoll83
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Mar 23, 2010

    How is it going today

    for you guys? I am on my third week of estrangement after deciding that I won't let my parents control me any longer. I am starting to realize all the manipulative **** they pulled on me and am getting angrier and angrier. I am wondering when I can go back to being happy again.
    val72 val72
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Apr 30, 2014

    I'm a only adult child of two parents in their

    mid 60's. My parents families were toxic and when I was 7, my parents moved me to another town 2 hours away, and we have lived here for 32 years. I'm married without kids, and after living out of the country for 3 years, I came back to reconnect from being away from my parents...
    juliabfong juliabfong
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 20

    Beyond The Point Of Repair

    I posted earlier on here -- maybe a year ago -- about my estrangement from my parents. We briefly re-connected, met for a few meals, did some emails and even some phone calls, but things are not the same. They will never be the same -- and the truth is I don't want them to go...
    heather147 heather147
    31-35
    5 Responses Jul 30, 2013

    Ive rewritten this 5 times now.

    I don't know how to explain my family. I don't know how I'll ever make sense of it all. I feel guilty if I say anything bad about my parents, dispite all they did... How long do I have to be free before I feel safe?
    3grnowl 3grnowl
    26-30
    1 Response Jun 2, 2015

    More family drama. I guess the holidays just

    bring out the best. -- I really feel for my brother right now. I know he is a very pragmatic, level headed, non-emotionally brash. He can be blunt but is never cruel. Yet this is the most recent exchange between him and our father. Reminder, my father is suffering from a rare...
    frostyflower frostyflower
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Dec 12, 2014

    Not plural. Just my father,

    the narcissist.
    HelloCleo HelloCleo
    36-40, F
    6 Responses Nov 2, 2015

    I grew up in a severely traumatic childhood.

    I think most of people who choose to be estranged / deserted their parent has a strong, valid and often painful reason to do so - most of us has been emotionally & psychologically abused severely. our childhood impacts us into adulthood - and it is often a painful and lonely...
    hikariblue hikariblue
    22-25, F
    Oct 28, 2015

    I haven't spoken to my mom in years

    for complex reasons. found out she has cancer and it has been so difficult. I thought we had more time to work things out. she's only sixty something . my father died two years ago, another complex situation, as he had been removed from my life as well. I'm still recovering from...
    goodwitchofthenorth goodwitchofthenorth
    36-40, F
    Mar 19

    My brother and his wife,

    very kindly, suggested I send a no strings, no expectations "Season's Greetings" to my parents. I just re-read, start to finish, the entirety of the emails from the 3 day fight. Nope. Not going to contact them. Ever.
    frostyflower frostyflower
    31-35, F
    1 Response Nov 17, 2014
    planeurchin planeurchin
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jul 1, 2014

    After thinking about my life

    and how I'd want it to go, I've made the decision to cut off both of my parents. My dad has been incarcerated for the most of my life and only writes me whenever he needs something. My mother is a single mother, and has three children, and I'm the eldest out of her daughters. I...
    Kne12 Kne12
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 31, 2015

    Oh Holidays! a time for warmth,

    family and friends, food, lights, and presents. And my Christmas gift is an email from my father that my parents are officially separating. Here's an excerpt of the holiday cheer: ------ "your mom and I are permanently separated. she doesn't want me to know where she lives. I...
    frostyflower frostyflower
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Dec 8, 2014

    It hasn't been very long,

    but it is no less painful. I've stuck with them through alcoholism and domestic violence. I remember mom's black eye, my sprained wrist and staying in a hotel paid for by a women's shelter even though they think I forgot all of that. Mom has always leaned on me as her therapist...
    troubledwater1 troubledwater1
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 16, 2014

    Hi everyone. My name is Becca

    and I'm writing from a UK charity called Stand Alone. We're currently in the process of researching family estrangement, and are looking for participants to take part in an online study. We're based in the UK but would be interested in hearing from people worldwide who have no...
    beccabland beccabland
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 21, 2015

    I created a brand new website called Choose

    Your Parents which was created to help you find the ideal relationship to support you as an adult child or parent. Instead of struggling along trying to make it work with your birth parents or adult children, why not find the relationship that helps you grow or motivates you...
    jsw548 jsw548
    51-55, M
    Apr 3

    My mom reached out in a handwritten letter a

    couple weeks ago. She made no expectations but apologized for her behavior, and said she loves us all. I wrote her back wanting to keep things open, and sent her about 50 photos of the last 2 years of my daughter growing up. She lives 2000 miles away, so she only just got them 2...
    frostyflower frostyflower
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Feb 19, 2015

    It's Just Best To Cut All Ties.....

    All my life, i never felt as though my parents really loved me. They abandoned me when i was just a little under a year old. i was raised by my grandmother until about the age of 7. Then abruptly i was taken from my grandmother and forced to live with my parents again. the...
    atnguy2 atnguy2
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Mar 15, 2011

    Estranged/abandoned

    I don't know what I am looking for in this. I am nearing twenty-five and my parents and I have not spoken in almost two years. Our experience was pretty terrible growing up. On a day to day basis, I was at best ignored or treated with apathy or at worst physically abused. I had...
    neuronerd neuronerd
    22-25, F
    6 Responses Oct 26, 2012

    I have been estranged from my parents

    and sister for almost 15 years. The holidays are very hard. On top of loneliness, I have overwhelming feelings of shame and embarrassment (especially with co-workers, potential friends and prospective partners) surrounding this issue. How do you explain your estrangement to...
    Omchandrayanamaha Omchandrayanamaha
    36-40, M
    5 Responses Dec 24, 2013

    2 Sided Estrangement

    I LOVED my mother in law in my early married life and she was good to me. Then I had kids. My first child died, second child was born with a lot of health problems but was a beautiful, bright child and eventually was OK. When we told my MIL we were expecting another child, was...
    marji marji
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Jul 25, 2012

    Wow I don't even know

    where to start….but in a nutshell, my father has been emotionally manipulative and abusive for his entire life. I did not really feel the wrath of his evil nature until I decided to get married. To make a very long story short, he does not want me to get married. I don't...
    kimalee77 kimalee77
    31-35, F
    Jul 27, 2015

    Smartest, Most Healing, And Wisest Decision I've Ever Made

    Cutting off all contact with my dysfunctional parents was the best thing I could have done for myself. Since taking that step (nearly fifteen years ago as of this writing), I have experienced profound healing and growth. I had to go through stages of mourning, and it took me a...
    Existentiality Existentiality
    46-50, F
    7 Responses Apr 9, 2012

    Torn Apart

    I've had a volatile relationship w/ my parents much of my life. My mother has abandonment issues, and projects her insecurities towards other family members. My father, while acknowledges my mother's problems, is passive towards taking direct constructive action with her. I've...
    Hoven Hoven
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Aug 11, 2010

    This just happened yesterday

    so at night I had to sleep in my parents room because my bed was at the wash so at 4:27 am I felt that the bed was moving so I woke up and I saw my dad on top of my mom naked so I didn't do any thing also my parents thought that i was a sleep so then at 4:35 I saw my naked mom...
    planeurchin planeurchin
    16-17, M
    2 Responses Jul 1, 2014

    I Am A Human Being.Not An object To Mistreat At

    Will-After years of being beaten by my mother's husband and even more time spent being an unpaid lackey for my mother I packed my bags in 2010 shortly after my 17th birthday. I placed the bags in my car,got in,and sped off vowing to NEVER look back. The first minutes were the...
    Serkha Serkha
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 23, 2014

    We're All Ok With It.

    My problem with being estranged from my parents is; I feel guilty about it. Not about being estranged. I feel guilty because I’m OK with it. I don’t miss them at all. And they are OK with it too. I keep in touch occasionally with my sister. But that’s it. Whenever I made...
    Pabsan Pabsan
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Apr 2, 2012

    Thinking Of Estrangement, But Not There Yet...

    My mother and I have always had a relationship that is tenuous at best. I was born exactly one week after her 22nd birthday, her first child, out of wedlock. My biological father left when I was six weeks old. She started dating the dad I grew up with when I was two, and married...
    proudgqdyke proudgqdyke
    31-35, F
    1 Response May 13, 2013

    Emotionally and intellectually.

    I've actually been living with them for the last several months. So I can't wait till I'm back to full estrangement again.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jan 27, 2015

    Alone?

    I never fit in. I knew that from as far back as I can remember. I am adopted, more in the sence of it, but also the truth. My biological mother had no part of my life till I was 8. I was raised by family friends. After wedding an American service man she came back to gather me...
    jewelsbug jewelsbug
    70+, F
    1 Response Mar 12, 2013

    My third part of my story.

    Well its been nearly 2.5 years since my "fall out" with my parents and Ive learnt a lot. The one thing Im struggling with is "moving on". So my parents refuse to acknowledge anything bad in my childhood, they are both narcissists and I have had to make numerous changes to...
    violetcherry violetcherry
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 31, 2014

    3.5 years down and this morning I woke in tears.

    My dreams are getting worse, more vivid and the ones that screw my head up the most are where my mother is being lovely. How do you deal with these dreams? My heads in bits....
    violetcherry violetcherry
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

    Access Denied: They Stole My Eldest Child- The

    loosening of ties started when I was about 14 and began to hunger to experience freedom. I gave birth to a baby girl shortly before my 16th birthday in March 2006. My stepfather(since I myself was a baby) had run off my baby's daddy since before I even knew I was pregnant and...
    BeingOracleSince90 BeingOracleSince90
    26-30, F
    May 15, 2015

    Stand Alone, An Organisation To Support Estranged Adults, Is Here...

    Hey Folks, Stand Alone is the only international charity to support adults that are estranged from their family. We're going now, and running meet-up groups in London on the run up to Christmas. We'd really like to hear from as many estranged people as possible so we can plan...
    beccabland beccabland
    26-30
    2 Responses Sep 26, 2013

    I want to put my story out there,

    so here it goes. First, my father. It's been just over 7 years since I last had anything to do with my father. When I was in junior high, my father molested me. I repressed it for several years, but I eventually remembered. My boyfriend at the time had actually asked me if...
    PandorasRose PandorasRose
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Aug 6, 2014

    I can't say this to anyone I meet - I haven't

    been exposed to mothers and when I had friends that close I wasn't around their parents. When i walk in the street shop in the market the parents smile at their children and hold their hands - they seem important to them. It seems like they want to protect them. It seems like...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 2

    My estrangement from my family has been a slow,

    sometimes painful process. I came from a broken, abusive, alcoholic home. I am not saying that as a victim, it is a reality of my situation that I no longer refuse to deny. My mother is still living but I haven't spoken to her in many months. My sister wants nothing to do with...
    Ronrob Ronrob
    41-45
    2 Responses Jul 26, 2015

    My Difficult And Complicated Family Relationships Are Partly What Brought Me Here

    I was wanting to connect to others in a way that seemed safe, and also where I could find kindred souls, because being estranged from family can put a hole in your heart. At this point I guess i am only ready to say that.
    ultimatereality ultimatereality
    46-50, F
    4 Responses Jan 12, 2012

    I Guess I'm Estranged From My Family

    Lately this has been in my mind that I'm "estranged" - I try to trace back to how this happened - and if I'm doing something wrong by not reaching out to my family - I know they must blame me for this - that something is wrong with me. Its that last thought that always gives me...
    heather147 heather147
    31-35
    10 Responses Jun 1, 2012

    I have recently become estranged by

    both parents. I could not take the constant harassment for money and verbal abuse from my father. My mother has never been happy for me but always jealous. They believe that since I was born it is my responsibility to support them, not the other way around. My father was rarely...
    pc3907 pc3907
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Dec 2, 2014

    My nuclear family is what it is.

    I shall accept them, us, together, to a point. One of my parents is independent, the other one overly dependent. I'll be leaving the country, eventually. It'll take time and resources. I've had many talks with them regarding this topic, to be sure they understand the...
    onetwotesting onetwotesting
    26-30, M
    Mar 18

    I was just wanting to tell my story to people

    that understand what it's like to live without your parents/family and hopefully to find some advice to help me to get through. I became estranged from my parents 2 years ago when I moved to university and I've been finding it hard to deal with lately. To start with I should say...
    LolaLoo1994 LolaLoo1994
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 7

    Beyond Repair...

    I am not quite sure why it took so long to reach this point. A point where I no longer speak to either parent. It was so long overdue. I had tolerated years of on and off being estranged for periods of time, each one longer than the next. My Mother and I were close. Too close...
    Eileen4055 Eileen4055
    36-40
    May 4, 2011

    Today is going to be a hard day.

    I am going on a month not speaking to my mom. I am seeing a counselor to move forward. He says I am mourning the loss of the relationship I thought I could have with her. I thought I would feel better when I cut her out, but instead I feel angry about how poorly she has...
    val72 val72
    31-35, F
    4 Responses May 11, 2014

    I've been estranged from my parents on

    and off for the last few years. Our relationship seemed to be shaky but on the mend after I had my son but two years ago my husband and I bought a house and my mother was so mad that I didn't send her the listing (just pictures of the house) that she didn't speak to me for...
    jenn2732 jenn2732
    36-40, F
    1 Response Feb 9

    An Organisation For Estranged People

    Hey Folks, My name is Becca Bland and I've been writing about estrangement in the national media here in the UK for the last six months. I've been posting some articles here for you guys to read. I am estranged, and I've been using my experiences to shed light on the stigma that...
    beccabland beccabland
    26-30
    May 12, 2013

    We're getting close to 2 years.

    Last night I talked to my brother on the phone, and for the first time, breached the topic of the estrangement. Apparently my father had been forwarding the emails to him during the fight, and is so irrational and unstable as to question and somewhat blame my brother for not...
    frostyflower frostyflower
    31-35, F
    Nov 17, 2014

    It Gets Better - A Lot Better

    Hello. I just came across this website today, and felt compelled to share my story. I am the first born of three children. My father died in a car accident when I was seven months old, from his own decision of drinking & driving. My mother had remarried a year and a half later...
    dley0000 dley0000
    31-35
    7 Responses Sep 24, 2011

    Haven't spoken with my parents in 6 years.

    I have three other siblings and they only speak to my one sister. They have three children and 6 grandchildren, 4 whom they haven't met, and they see none of us. It is a mutual lack of desire, but I'm just shocked how much they don't care...it seems unnatural.
    Bullbuddy Bullbuddy
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Apr 18, 2014
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