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I Am Estranged From My Parents

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 241 People

    Torn Apart

    I've had a volatile relationship w/ my parents much of my life. My mother has abandonment issues, and projects her insecurities towards other family members. My father, while acknowledges my mother's problems, is passive towards taking direct constructive action with her. I've...
    Hoven Hoven 36-40, M 2 Responses Aug 11, 2010

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    It Gets Better - A Lot Better

    Hello. I just came across this website today, and felt compelled to share my story. I am the first born of three children. My father died in a car accident when I was seven months old, from his own decision of drinking & driving. My mother had remarried a year and a half later...
    dley0000 dley0000 31-35 8 Responses Sep 24, 2011

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    I Guess I'm Estranged From My Family

    Lately this has been in my mind that I'm "estranged" - I try to trace back to how this happened - and if I'm doing something wrong by not reaching out to my family - I know they must blame me for this - that something is wrong with me. Its that last thought that always gives me...
    heather147 heather147 31-35 10 Responses Jun 1, 2012

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    Beyond Repair...

    I am not quite sure why it took so long to reach this point. A point where I no longer speak to either parent. It was so long overdue. I had tolerated years of on and off being estranged for periods of time, each one longer than the next. My Mother and I were close. Too close...
    Eileen4055 Eileen4055 36-40 May 4, 2011

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    I have recently become estranged by

    both parents. I could not take the constant harassment for money and verbal abuse from my father. My mother has never been happy for me but always jealous. They believe that since I was born it is my responsibility to support them, not the other way around. My father was rarely...
    pc3907 pc3907 36-40, F 4 Responses Dec 2

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    Healing

    I'm the oldest of 6 children which came with its own responsibilities but not as many as being my mothers escape goat. Growing up I was the no good child that just got in the way. My mother was a alcoholic and fancied many men. These two things kept my mother going on a daily...
    Newserenity80 Newserenity80 31-35, F Jun 13, 2013

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    My third part of my story.

    Well its been nearly 2.5 years since my "fall out" with my parents and Ive learnt a lot. The one thing Im struggling with is "moving on". So my parents refuse to acknowledge anything bad in my childhood, they are both narcissists and I have had to make numerous changes to...
    violetcherry violetcherry 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 31

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    My Difficult And Complicated Family Relationships Are Partly What Brought Me Here

    I was wanting to connect to others in a way that seemed safe, and also where I could find kindred souls, because being estranged from family can put a hole in your heart. At this point I guess i am only ready to say that.
    ultimatereality ultimatereality 46-50, F 4 Responses Jan 12, 2012

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    Oh Holidays! a time for warmth,

    family and friends, food, lights, and presents. And my Christmas gift is an email from my father that my parents are officially separating. Here's an excerpt of the holiday cheer: ------ "your mom and I are permanently separated. she doesn't want me to know where she lives. I...
    frostyflower frostyflower 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 8

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    2 Sided Estrangement

    I LOVED my mother in law in my early married life and she was good to me. Then I had kids. My first child died, second child was born with a lot of health problems but was a beautiful, bright child and eventually was OK. When we told my MIL we were expecting another child, was...
    marji marji 51-55, F 2 Responses Jul 25, 2012

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    We're getting close to 2 years.

    Last night I talked to my brother on the phone, and for the first time, breached the topic of the estrangement. Apparently my father had been forwarding the emails to him during the fight, and is so irrational and unstable as to question and somewhat blame my brother for not...
    frostyflower frostyflower 26-30, F Nov 17

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    This just happened yesterday

    so at night I had to sleep in my parents room because my bed was at the wash so at 4:27 am I felt that the bed was moving so I woke up and I saw my dad on top of my mom naked so I didn't do any thing also my parents thought that i was a sleep so then at 4:35 I saw my naked mom...
    planeurchin planeurchin 13-15, M 2 Responses Jul 1

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    How To Deal With Evil Manipulative Sister?

    My sister has methodically manipulated my parents and siblings into hating me. She is ver insecure and greedy..so those are her motives. I usually deal with it pretty well, because I don't miss the drama..but around Christmas when everyone is talking about love and families..it's...
    Notcrazy Notcrazy 41-45 Dec 13, 2010

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    Stand Alone, An Organisation To Support Estranged Adults, Is Here...

    Hey Folks, Stand Alone is the only international charity to support adults that are estranged from their family. We're going now, and running meet-up groups in London on the run up to Christmas. We'd really like to hear from as many estranged people as possible so we can plan...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 1 Response Sep 26, 2013

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    My parents were a bad couple.

    They didn't give us stability. We don't really speak. It hurts to see others' parents do caring things with and for their kids but it also makes me happy. It's bittersweet.
    needlessthings needlessthings 31-35, M 2 Responses Mar 26

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    My parents have disowned me cos I left 2

    husbands I haven't done anything to them
    jillybeanpie jillybeanpie 41-45, F 4 Responses May 26

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    Beyond The Point Of Repair

    I posted earlier on here -- maybe a year ago -- about my estrangement from my parents. We briefly re-connected, met for a few meals, did some emails and even some phone calls, but things are not the same. They will never be the same -- and the truth is I don't want them to go...
    heather147 heather147 31-35 5 Responses Jul 30, 2013

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    Estranged/abandoned

    I don't know what I am looking for in this. I am nearing twenty-five and my parents and I have not spoken in almost two years. Our experience was pretty terrible growing up. On a day to day basis, I was at best ignored or treated with apathy or at worst physically abused. I had...
    neuronerd neuronerd 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 26, 2012

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    planeurchin planeurchin 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 1

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    My mother died in Jan of 2013.

    We were a very close family, I was lucky enough to be an only child. Now my dad is dating a bimbo that insisted to see him on Thanksgiving! I am appalled that he would go over there on a holiday! The selfish ***** expects to see him for Christmas, too! My heart is broken. My...
    mcrn96 mcrn96 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 30

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    Black Duck Of My Family

    Growing up I was always compared to my older siblings! Before I could careless, but i constantly got it from everyone and everywhere. Just tired of it, Like REALLY ? I'm my own person, I have my own personality, and were all different but thats one thing my MOM cant understand...
    ColdShiver ColdShiver 18-21, F May 18, 2013

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    We're All Ok With It.

    My problem with being estranged from my parents is; I feel guilty about it. Not about being estranged. I feel guilty because I’m OK with it. I don’t miss them at all. And they are OK with it too. I keep in touch occasionally with my sister. But that’s it. Whenever I made...
    Pabsan Pabsan 51-55, M 2 Responses Apr 2, 2012

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    My brother and his wife,

    very kindly, suggested I send a no strings, no expectations "Season's Greetings" to my parents. I just re-read, start to finish, the entirety of the emails from the 3 day fight. Nope. Not going to contact them. Ever.
    frostyflower frostyflower 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 17

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    My Story...

    I've currently been estranged from my parents for coming up on a year in may.  It's been a gradual process since I moved out 10 years ago at 17. My mom is bipolar and my dad spends his life cleaning up after her. I grew up with an adopted sister that was institutionalized...
    ragdoll83 ragdoll83 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 23, 2010

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    Haven't spoken with my parents in 6 years.

    I have three other siblings and they only speak to my one sister. They have three children and 6 grandchildren, 4 whom they haven't met, and they see none of us. It is a mutual lack of desire, but I'm just shocked how much they don't care...it seems unnatural.
    Bullbuddy Bullbuddy 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 18

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    At a Loss

    Around Christmas it all fell apart...again.  I am now 33 years old and have decided to completely cut my parents out of my life.  The stress of trying to live the life they want me to live and living my own life had finally come to head.  I am tired of hurting as a...
    JROBER7 JROBER7 31-35 4 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    It hasn't been very long,

    but it is no less painful. I've stuck with them through alcoholism and domestic violence. I remember mom's black eye, my sprained wrist and staying in a hotel paid for by a women's shelter even though they think I forgot all of that. Mom has always leaned on me as her therapist...
    troubledwater1 troubledwater1 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Dead To Them

    As my other stories explain it began when I was 2&became permanent ten yrs later. "You are my eldest son now!" My grandmother pointed a painted red fingernail at my then 12 year old brother. "Say nothing else about that ungrateful blond b@stard I was cursed to birth." She had...
    IndigotheWanderer IndigotheWanderer 22-25, F Nov 27, 2013

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    Today is going to be a hard day.

    I am going on a month not speaking to my mom. I am seeing a counselor to move forward. He says I am mourning the loss of the relationship I thought I could have with her. I thought I would feel better when I cut her out, but instead I feel angry about how poorly she has...
    val72 val72 26-30, F 4 Responses May 11

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    An Organisation For Estranged People

    Hey Folks, My name is Becca Bland and I've been writing about estrangement in the national media here in the UK for the last six months. I've been posting some articles here for you guys to read. I am estranged, and I've been using my experiences to shed light on the stigma that...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 1 Response May 12, 2013

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    Estranged From Parents For Almost A Decade Now

    It's so hard to be estranged from your parents no matter what the circumstances are. Whether its your fault, their fault or both, the hurt is still the same for both parties in my opinion.At 16, I ran away from home because I was tired of the abuse from my Dad. Little did I know...
    cleecaldwell cleecaldwell 26-30 3 Responses May 4, 2012

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    Alone?

    I never fit in. I knew that from as far back as I can remember. I am adopted, more in the sence of it, but also the truth. My biological mother had no part of my life till I was 8. I was raised by family friends. After wedding an American service man she came back to gather me...
    jewelsbug jewelsbug 70+, F 1 Response Mar 12, 2013

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    I have had no meaningful relationship with my

    father almost 25 years. We have traded emails perhaps once every year or so in the past 5. Today I received a LinkedIn request from him. It disturbs me. I have made it abundantly clear he is not welcome in my life, does not know (or didn't until today) where I live - and I live...
    Damon1974 Damon1974 36-40, M 1 Response May 29

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    I have decided to cut my parents out of my life.

    My brother was physically abusive to me when we were both staying with my parents after college. They permitted him to continue living with me so I had to move out. Fast forward 4 years later and I have made plans to stay with them over Easter. They then tell me my brother is...
    val72 val72 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 13

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    Thinking Of Estrangement, But Not There Yet...

    My mother and I have always had a relationship that is tenuous at best. I was born exactly one week after her 22nd birthday, her first child, out of wedlock. My biological father left when I was six weeks old. She started dating the dad I grew up with when I was two, and married...
    proudgqdyke proudgqdyke 31-35, F 1 Response May 13, 2013

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    I have been estranged from my parents

    and sister for almost 15 years. The holidays are very hard. On top of loneliness, I have overwhelming feelings of shame and embarrassment (especially with co-workers, potential friends and prospective partners) surrounding this issue. How do you explain your estrangement to...
    Omchandrayanamaha Omchandrayanamaha 31-35, M 5 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    What Can I Do?

    Of course, I too have had issues with my parents but when I think about it I realize that they have pretty much always left me alone from the age of 17 on. I did things that they didn't really like back then but as time went on and I am now 40, I look back and see only a handful...
    Nixie72 Nixie72 41-45, F 1 Response May 17, 2013

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    More family drama. I guess the holidays just

    bring out the best. -- I really feel for my brother right now. I know he is a very pragmatic, level headed, non-emotionally brash. He can be blunt but is never cruel. Yet this is the most recent exchange between him and our father. Reminder, my father is suffering from a rare...
    frostyflower frostyflower 26-30, F 4 Responses Dec 12

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    I have been no contact with my birth family

    for 8 years. It was, and continues to be, a gradual process of letting go. I have felt relief from the beginning but what I have been working on letting go of is the unfounded guilt. It is the guilt that binds me to them because there really has been nothing else. My parents...
    sfsquirrel sfsquirrel 46-50 2 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    How is it going today

    for you guys? I am on my third week of estrangement after deciding that I won't let my parents control me any longer. I am starting to realize all the manipulative **** they pulled on me and am getting angrier and angrier. I am wondering when I can go back to being happy again.
    val72 val72 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 30

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    3.5 years down and this morning I woke in tears.

    My dreams are getting worse, more vivid and the ones that screw my head up the most are where my mother is being lovely. How do you deal with these dreams? My heads in bits....
    violetcherry violetcherry 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 2

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    I want to put my story out there,

    so here it goes. First, my father. It's been just over 7 years since I last had anything to do with my father. When I was in junior high, my father molested me. I repressed it for several years, but I eventually remembered. My boyfriend at the time had actually asked me if...
    PandorasRose PandorasRose 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 6

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    It's Just Best To Cut All Ties.....

    All my life, i never felt as though my parents really loved me. They abandoned me when i was just a little under a year old. i was raised by my grandmother until about the age of 7. Then abruptly i was taken from my grandmother and forced to live with my parents again. the...
    atnguy2 atnguy2 46-50, F 2 Responses Mar 15, 2011

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    A Meeting For Estranged People In London

    Hello, I’m writing to remind you of Stand Alone’s first meeting on Sunday 7th July in London, and to confirm the venue details and times. Our first meeting will be held at The Blacksmith and The Toffeemaker near Angel, Islington between 1pm and 4pm. It’s a beautiful venue...
    beccabland beccabland 26-30 Jun 25, 2013

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    So Ive booked our wedding today

    and after 3 years of estrangement from my parents Im not inviting them. In fact there is only going to be 12 of us - his parents, my sister, our children and a set each of best friends. So I have a large family and they will all be cross that they are not invited, even though...
    violetcherry violetcherry 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 24

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    Smartest, Most Healing, And Wisest Decision I've Ever Made

    Cutting off all contact with my dysfunctional parents was the best thing I could have done for myself. Since taking that step (nearly fifteen years ago as of this writing), I have experienced profound healing and growth. I had to go through stages of mourning, and it took me a...
    Existentiality Existentiality 46-50, F 6 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    I am thinking about writing a letter to my

    parents like some of you have suggested. I want to tell them that I will not speak to them until they protect me from my violent brother. They must treat me as an adult and apologize for their behavior. I bet they can't say they are sorry, so they will be cut out for good. I am...
    val72 val72 26-30, F 2 Responses May 13

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    Related Experiences

    I am reaching out to parents who are estranged from their child. Thanksgiving is coming and I don't like holidays because of the estrangement. It is a reminder he is not in my...
    mary5210 mary5210 56-60, F 1 Response Nov 24

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    I consider myself to be an only child now . It may sound harsh but why should I like someone just because we're related ?
    certifiable certifiable 70+, F 1 Response Nov 29

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    They dont want to be with mom n dad anymore they hate it when i get to like the songs they like :(( Jhene Aiko- Eternal Sunshine (Souled Out)
    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 2 Responses a week ago

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