I Am Fluent In Sarcasm

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,508 People

    Before you can be old

    and wise, you have to master being young and stupid.
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    1 Response Dec 27, 2015

    "So what if violence on TV desensitizes people.

    Marriage does too but you don't see them cancelling that." ~ Al Bundy
    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Dec 30, 2015
    Negglesgirl Negglesgirl
    41-45, F
    1 Response Nov 30, 2014

    I bet you people here are

    so good and original at being sarcastic.
    Plouton3600 Plouton3600
    18-21, M
    Feb 11

    Nothing offends me more

    than when someone explains that they were being sarcastic. Snarky remarks are my bread and butter.
    VioletVivid VioletVivid
    26-30
    Feb 18

    If you think nothing is impossible,

    try slamming a revolving door
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    Dec 28, 2015

    so fluent , you can't

    even tell I'm using it 89% of the time.
    heha57zla heha57zla
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 13, 2015
    yourguardingangel yourguardingangel
    22-25, M
    Jun 21, 2015
    Differentisgood Differentisgood
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 16, 2014

    I don't care if it's supposedly the lowest form

    of wit, watching someone slow trying to figure out whether or not you're serious is hilarious!
    Kitten2005 Kitten2005
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Feb 22, 2015

    My ex boyfriend has been texting me lately

    trying to get me to go out with him again..today he told me that I was the best kisser he's ever had... I thought..awwww...that must suck for you then...knowing you'll never get to kiss these lips again..haha
    LOOKN4NSIGHT43 LOOKN4NSIGHT43
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Jun 18, 2014

    Nothing more disappointing

    than running into a wall with an erection and breaking your nose.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 16
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    Dec 30, 2015

    A dog will happily stick it's head out the car

    window but freaks if someone blows in their face
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Dec 30, 2015

    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots
    36-40, M
    1 Response Dec 28, 2015

    Yup, I'm from England

    but sarcasm is 100% second language
    CamSpeeed CamSpeeed
    18-21, M
    Jan 2

    You know sarcasm is at it's peak

    when you pour a bucket of it on someone and they don't even know they've just been drenched in it. ~ Me
    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Feb 18, 2015

    Relationships are like fat people.

    .. Most of them don't work out.
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    Jan 5

    Because of it a lot of people think I am a

    crazy over the top overly eccentric *****. I.LOVE.IT.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Oct 27, 2015

    Don't make excuses for nasty people,

    you can't put a flower in an a**hole and call it a vase
    AnthonyCumia AnthonyCumia
    46-50, M
    4 Responses Nov 10, 2015
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    1 Response Dec 30, 2015
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    Dec 30, 2015

    Nah, I suck in Sarcasm.

    I don't even know meaning of sarcasm.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 29, 2015
    ItsAlwaysHim ItsAlwaysHim
    22-25, M
    Feb 26

    Some people can't handle a conversation

    consisting of my sarcasm, people who's profiles are a totally representation of an anime cartoon character......
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Nov 17, 2014
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    Jan 6

    Spoiled rotten: What children become

    after as little as 15 minutes with grandparents. Suspected to be an act of revenge from parents to their ex-teenagers.
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 2

    I'm so good at speaking Sarcasm.

    Who else got a good grade in speaking that language? :D
    Music4Us Music4Us
    13-15, F
    Sep 13, 2015

    Time flies like an arrow.

    Fruit flies like a banana.
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    Jan 4
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses May 2, 2015

    When someone starts a sentence with "No offense.

    ...." You can be sure they are about to offend you.
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    Dec 27, 2015

    That moment when you're being sarcastic

    and someone thinks you're being legit *facepalm*
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jul 26, 2015

    Made a startling discovery today.

    .. Don't go shopping when you're hungry is one thing. You're going to spend a small fortune.. Go shopping at a warehouse while hungry just take a second mortgage out its easier and less painful at the end when they give you the total... Lol
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jan 5
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 2
    cashetty69 cashetty69
    51-55, M
    Dec 26, 2015

    I Am Fluent Sarcasm.

    I speak sarcasm more than I even speak English. Its fun you should try it sometime.
    applescruffs applescruffs
    22-25, F
    8 Responses Jul 30, 2009
    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Mar 16, 2015

    Why do people say "The alarm just went off"

    when really it just came on
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    Jan 3

    Yes but I look on it

    as being quick witted I don't b sarcastic as in being rude
    prettyflamingo prettyflamingo
    41-45, F
    2 Responses May 11, 2014

    I love being ignored :))))) it's the best

    feeling in the world :))))))) please ignore me :))))))
    Suspect00 Suspect00
    13-15, F
    1 Response Apr 14

    True story! I was at a friends house

    and his dog was in the floor and began to lick himself "there". Here's the conversation. Friend: "I wish I could do that." Me: "That dog would probably bite you if you did."
    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Jan 28
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 7
    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 19

    sometimes i feel like i am the only one keeping

    sarcasm alive!!! i love to confuse and amaze my customers on a daily basis with my sarcastic comments. sometimes i cannot help it, it is just a reflex and it oozes out just like poetry lol
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Aug 27, 2015

    I think that sarcasm is just THE best!

    too many people take every single aspect of the world seriously, and sometimes it needs to be a little more light-hearted. I am mostly sarcastic when someone asks me a stupid question, because that stupid question requires a funny stupid reply back, u think your gunna get a...
    MissMay97 MissMay97
    18-21, F
    Oct 28, 2015
    BigNJ76 BigNJ76
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 1

    I would like to personally thank every child

    who lies and posts their age as 18+, every underage person who chats and shares pics with pedophiles, and every ********* for your illegal and immoral behavior. I wouldn't be surprised if that kind of behavior is the reason EP is getting in trouble with the government/law...
    thisisnotanexit thisisnotanexit
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Mar 28
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