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I Am Ftm

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 923 People

    Trans Fears

    Back in 2011 I had a private conversation with a cisgendered woman on this site. At the time she had an interest in getting to know what transgendered / transsexual people were really like and because I had extended a welcome for people to contact me if they had any questions on...
    MartyMcFly MartyMcFly 22-25, T 1 Response Aug 14, 2013

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    I Am, Who I Am, Who I Am, Who I Am... A Trainwreck

    I'm Cade, and I'm a 16 year old FtM transgender kid. I think I really realized something was wrong when I was 6, and I saw my cousin wearing a towel around his waist after his shower. I did the same, and was met with a fuss and my aunt yelling at me because "girls are supposed...
    Cadeninprogress Cadeninprogress 16-17, M 2 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    I know I will never be happy.

    I have an extremely religious family that does not accept trans people, and I don't know what do. I hate my body; it makes me uncomfortable. I have no way to escape. I want to run far away from everybody, but I would also love to have trans friends (or anybody of the lgbt) to...
    Thebutterflyboy Thebutterflyboy 18-21, T 3 Responses Apr 14

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    I am either bigender between male

    and femandrogyne, or simply a femandrogynous male or femme-ish male. I'm not sure because I am getting mixed up between what I feel like and what I act like. Anyway, a lot of times, I want to go on T in the future, but sometimes I doubt myself for various reasons, and one...
    bandgeekavery bandgeekavery 13-15, T Apr 4

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    I'm referred to as "Krys" a lot

    and that makes me more than happy. I bind, which makes me feel like I'm on top of the world. I get to buy guy clothes, bind, have my hair cut short, be called "Krys", and all in all look like a guy. So I'm one of the lucky ones who are accepted by some family members. those who...
    ImperfectWeirdo ImperfectWeirdo 13-15, T Jun 2

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    bandgeekavery bandgeekavery 13-15, T 1 Response May 10

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    This is the first draft of a poem I'm thinking

    of using to come out to my mother with. Necessary information, before reading this, well it's not exactly necessary, but it might help. One, I'm blind, two was born four months pre mature at one pound twelve ounces, and I'm from Vermont where it's cold, but I go to school in...
    ProcessOfBecoming ProcessOfBecoming 18-21, T 1 Response May 7

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    i think i want to wear my binder in pubic,

    i never have, just at school.. i will be with my grandparents, i dont want them to ask whats up.DX
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 31

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    well not me. my boyfriend is.

    can any of you help me understand him better
    RylandGay RylandGay 13-15, M 4 Responses May 31

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    hey guys... im currently 6 months on hrt.

    ..and im looking for ppl i can chat with who can relate. im keen to help out where i can with advice if needed. im a easy going lad from australia.
    jayterry87 jayterry87 26-30, T 2 Responses Feb 6

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    Gog, I am so happy today-

    which is odd because I usually never am (dysphoria's a *****) because I finally got my hair cut today and I feel more like a guy than I ever have before, which makes me just a little bit happier. Of course- I still haven't bought a binder and I'm stuck with crappy sports bras...
    darxmane darxmane 13-15, T 1 Response Jun 7

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    I was seeking those "man points.

    " And I came to realize they weren't worth it while I was drudging through a swamp with a foot still on the mend. The stars pierced my soul while my rucksack begged me to pull out my sleeping mat and lay down for rest. My civilian job broke my foot some months before. It too was...
    victorytothebold victorytothebold 26-30 Jun 2

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    Hello friends, my name is Daniel.

    I would like to tell you a story, a story about my life over the past four years or so. I moved to a new school in the middle of Freshmen year in High school, and was instantly set apart from other people and labeled the odd one out. Nearly a month after I had gotten fairly...
    DanielReedcaotl DanielReedcaotl 18-21, T 2 Responses Dec 17, 2014

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    I'm new to my thoughts.

    I've always known I was a guy. But I've finally realized I'm a guy on the inside and I love it. I'm going to chop off my hair. But I still need someone to talk to. Someone?
    oliviairene47 oliviairene47 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 21, 2014

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    Myself

    About a year ago, I put together my feelings and realized I really felt more comfortable as a male, rather than a female. I changed my name from Annie to Andy, and have since felt more comfortable with people calling me by my name. However, many people at my school knew me as...
    KaaruChan KaaruChan 16-17, T 1 Response Feb 27, 2013

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    So, I'm not sleeping again

    even though I have to write a two thousand word paper, create a six page powerpoint, and take a map quiz, that all have to do with my final grade in a Geography class, later today. Also, keep in mind that I'm blind, so tonight just sucks. And yes, I can blame this on the...
    ProcessOfBecoming ProcessOfBecoming 18-21, T May 7

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    Finally got my binder on

    after struggling with getting it over my wide shoulders for MONTHS. I'm thrilled.... So thrilled I don't wanna take it off ugh. But I figured out how to get in on and now I can wear it every day~
    starling156 starling156 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 2

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    I just got my hair cut!

    I was feeling pretty bad today. I don't own a binder yet so usually I just wear one or two sports bras and a loose fitting shirt. However, today I had to wear a padded bra as I couldnt find anything else and you could see my chest even with a loose jumper on. I was feeling...
    illuminatisweaters illuminatisweaters 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 16

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    I am biologically female,

    but have worn mens clothes since 1997. I had psychotherapy in 2001/2 decided I just did not want the whole surgery thing . . I am only about 65% transgendered . . .about 50% lesbian . . .about 100% genderfucked So I live in no-mans land But I would rather be this genderqueer...
    dispossessed dispossessed 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 29, 2014

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    Being true to myself

    and coming out would make me leave behind my current life, which aside from terrible dysphoria is actually good. I'm going to a new college next year and I'm excited to be a little more like myself, but I still have the same job. My boss is a family friend who I respect and don...
    starling156 starling156 18-21, M 2 Responses May 28

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    Every time I'm interested in a random guy I

    meet I chicken out because I'm not comfortable being someone's "girlfriend" since I'm still a closeted ftm. Like, I've never fit the girlfriend role. I am internally a guy who wants to be with another guy (usually, as I'm pansexual). I just can't chase after the guys who see me...
    starling156 starling156 18-21, M 1 Response May 27

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    I am a FTM individual

    who is pansexual and would like to be addressed as Mark. I have been through a lot storms on my own and this is one of the storms that I need help with. My parents are anti LGBT all the way. hates anyone that is and hates everyone that supports. I'm literally both. growing up in...
    yocallmemark yocallmemark 16-17, T 2 Responses May 21

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    My chosen name is Ian it means Gift from god

    so I really like it |feel free to talk to me *hugs* oh yeah Im Pre-T
    cute4me cute4me 16-17, T 4 Responses Feb 17

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    Looking for anyone who has started T

    and begun the transition later in life (30s) after being married and having kids. Anyone? I'm in a constant state of mental torment from all the years of faking female when inside I'm a pan-romantic/asexual/male. I've know for years that I preferred women in a romantic sense...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response May 27

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    Coming out to my friends: After weeks of

    considering it, I came out to my best friend. Her reaction was great, she said it was really cool and she hugged me. I then came out to three other friends, one by one. The first one thought I was joking at first, buy was the first one to start using the correct pronouns. The...
    illuminatisweaters illuminatisweaters 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 13

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    OMG. I fell out with my mother big time today

    so I put up a status about me being a transgender and the responses I got were amazing!!!! No negativity what so ever. So far. All supportive. Who needs family when you have friends who are that good. I feel like crying I'm that happy. I feel so much better and I feel free. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 12

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    I am not FTM. But some of my BF in the past

    were transgender,FTM. I personally think i don't think bisexual or gay or LGBT about myself. because if i fall in love with someone,that person is woman,ftm,gay,straight,guy,man. I don't really care. I just like you. That's all. Some guy on here,after they know i'm not...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 29

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    I'm not fully ftm, at the moment I have to

    settle for a more genderfluid approach. But when I'm alone I can be 100% me and it feels amazing. I would love to live my life everyday as who I really am, but life just can't be that way, there is no way I can start T, but I do plan to eventually have a mastectomy and...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 6 Responses Feb 17

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    My name is Julien, and I am FTM,

    a female to male transgendered individual. But, I'm not straight, I'm gay, so I'm an FTM who also happens to be gay. But, get this, there's more. I already have a post where I ramble a little about being gay and being FTM and wanting gay guys to know that I exist, but that's...
    ProcessOfBecoming ProcessOfBecoming 18-21, T 1 Response Apr 29

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    Hello guys, my name is Jason.

    Or at least that's what I like to be called. I love that my family and friends call me that, but it gets really weird once I say something. I can pull off the look but once I talk it just ruins it my voice is still pretty high. I really hate it. But anyways, hello everyone...
    Give2Schitts Give2Schitts 13-15, T 6 Responses Feb 17

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    I've always had issues with my gender identity;

    for the longest time, they remained repressed and unacknowledged until the trans movement came to the forefront of politics. I remember having qualms about what I exactly was since elementary school - of course, I only understood stereotypical gender roles at the time, and...
    toska777 toska777 18-21, T Oct 21, 2014

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    My Coming Out

    When I truly discovered this was the date of February 12 of this year. One of my friend's and I had got to talking, like in a deep down conversation about myself. I kept telling him how I hated being female, I didn't like it and I don't really feel female, and that I've never...
    FaeytesEternal FaeytesEternal 18-21, T May 5, 2013

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    My Story

     So this is the first time that I have shared any of this with anyone.  I've never talked to anyone about being transgender and haven't tried to explain how I feel to anyone before now.  So this is a really big deal for me.I just recently discovered that I was...
    daysofgreen213 daysofgreen213 18-21 8 Responses Dec 10, 2009

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    So, today the US Supreme Court legalized Gay

    Marriage which is so perfect. I know, it really shouldn't even have to be a conversation, but at least now those 14 remaining states have to legalize it and acknowledge people who want to get married regardless of gender. I am just so pumped. But I think I'm also a little...
    ProcessOfBecoming ProcessOfBecoming 18-21, T 1 Response Jun 26

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    I Know I Want This. But I'm Afraid To Take The First Step.

    For as long as I can remember I have liked girls. I was always a tomboy when I was little. When I was 14 I came out as a lesbian. I am now twenty. I still identify as female though, that is not how I feel. I have the most beautiful girlfriend and we have been together for two...
    VonMoose VonMoose 18-21, M 5 Responses Sep 3, 2010

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    Okay, so I'm basically using this site to

    accept advice, log my experiences for my own benefit and also to help others going through the same, complicated experience. I say complicated because I don't want to fully transition into a man, but I do want to bring out my masculine side that has been taunting me for so long...
    Rossi117 Rossi117 22-25 3 Responses May 21, 2014

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    So, I'm not sleeping again

    even though I have to write a two thousand word paper, create a six page powerpoint, and take a map quiz, that all have to do with my final grade in a Geography class, later today. Also, keep in mind that I'm blind, so tonight just sucks. And yes, I can blame this on the...
    ProcessOfBecoming ProcessOfBecoming 18-21, T May 7

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    FTM I Am a Gay-male Identified Biologically-born Female

    I am a gay-male identified biologically-born female, a gay man trapped in a woman's body. I am sweet, funny, romantic, and caring. I'm romantically, erotically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually attracted to gay men and gay-male culture. I have no desire whatsoever to turn a gay...
    RomanticRunner RomanticRunner 46-50, T 42 Responses Oct 5, 2009

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    I don't know who has

    or hasn't seen this, but it really helped me so I thought I'd share! http://ftmguide.rassaku.net/
    giggponagoshi giggponagoshi 22-25, T Jun 5

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    does anyone agree that it really sucks

    when ur ready to move forward with your transitions but lack of money stalls progress......
    karisasam karisasam 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 19

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    So, This is the paper I wrote

    for my Creative Writing professor earlier this year. Thought it would be good to share. Hint, Hint, this is where I got the idea for my Username, and that's why it means so much to me. Process of Becoming Why is my brush so important? It’s not like it belonged to...
    ProcessOfBecoming ProcessOfBecoming 18-21, T 1 Response May 7

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    A letter to my mom. I'm

    so tired of trying to hide. All of my life, I've had to hide. What I mean by this is all of my life, I've wanted to be a boy. I can remember crying to myself and bed at night praying to God that he would make me a boy. But things don't happen that way. I couldn't be a boy. But...
    oliviairene47 oliviairene47 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 31, 2014

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    after 3 very very looong years(well felt like

    that.XD) i had to go life knowing i was transgender and had boobs, nothing to binde them with. going everyday knowing i didnt pass. people looked at me and then looked at my chest, then used female pronouns. i now have a binder! bought by a good friend who has a kid my age who...
    crazyhyperkid crazyhyperkid 13-15, M 1 Response May 31

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    ethanjade ethanjade 13-15, T 1 Response Apr 27

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    I Don't Know....

    I really don't know what I want to be anymore. I enjoy wearing tuxes and having my hair cut short, and being called a guy's name rather than my own girl name and having a desire for top surgery to make my chest area flat. I also desire to have a beard and mustache and a deeper...
    CasperAdair CasperAdair 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 22, 2013

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    How many of you realized you were ftm later in

    life? I'm already 20 and wish I had realized it sooner. I knew of drag queens and cross dressing from the media and from cosplaying, but only really found out what transgender meant in high school or so. I never looked into it though because I didn't think it was something I...
    starling156 starling156 18-21, M 2 Responses May 27

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