I Am Funny

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 7,694 People

    Share the funniest thing

    that has happened to you in the last year. Then put" And that's how I met your Mother/Father." And GO!
    Yukikazuna95 Yukikazuna95
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 15, 2015

    When your teacher says a stupid joke

    but you need to pass the class
    FataIity FataIity
    18-21, M
    1 Response Aug 10, 2015

    if i was a hamster trying to ask out a fellow

    lady hamster i would say β€˜are you from amsterdam because hamster, D A M N!’. and not being able to do this is the number one reason humans suck
    w3lcom3 w3lcom3
    18-21, M
    1 Response Aug 3, 2015

    In 6th grade after our teacher read us two

    different versions of Cinderella she asked the class,"Alright so what did both Cinderellas have in common?" I blurted out,"They both had balls." The whole class tried not to laugh and the teacher just looked at me strangely then said,"Yes but that's not the answer I was...
    deleted deleted
    Jul 31, 2015
    swaged104 swaged104
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jul 25, 2015
    Ihan14 Ihan14
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jul 24, 2015
    Ihan14 Ihan14
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jul 23, 2015

    Batman: So what's with the Ice Palace Superman:

    It's my fortress of solitude and you can relate to that Batman: Sure thing Elsa
    ThatGuyUndertheTree ThatGuyUndertheTree
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jul 18, 2015

    Okay so there's these olives right.

    . There's a black olive and a green olive.. So the black & Green Olive are chillin or whatever you know doing what olives do you know like going to "OLIVE GARDEN"πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ ... So then the black olive trips and falls so then the green olive says "oh my god are you okay" and then...
    ayojahjah ayojahjah
    22-25, M
    Jul 18, 2015

    comedy, of any sort, is usually a byproduct of

    a tumor that grows on the human soul. If you know a really funny person who isn't tortured and broken inside, I'd say they've just successfully hidden it from you, I'm not saying anything science doesn't already know, by the way. Find a comedian, and you'll usually find...
    deleted deleted
    Jul 9, 2015

    I'm just wondering what type of people use this

    app cause I'm smart and everything but people think I'm Wired as **** but jokes at the same time or is this app of everyone so what I'm asking is what are the type of people that use this app ?
    omarOG66 omarOG66
    22-25, M
    1 Response Jul 2, 2015

    teacher: what word is opposite with laugh?

    student: sex teacher:??? student: laugh is ha ha but sex is ah ah ah
    MeenSirikorn MeenSirikorn
    18-21, F
    Jun 20, 2015
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jun 16, 2015

    Something happened

    On a dark and stormy night...
    jeb2 jeb2
    51-55, T
    Jun 15, 2015

    I laugh at damn random things

    and sometimes I laugh simply cause it makes me feel AWESOME
    Indieda Indieda
    18-21, M
    Jun 14, 2015

    I called a Tina today at work

    and thought "Tina! Eat your meatloaf!" But accidentally said it out loud πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jun 9, 2015

    I was doing the crossword puzzle the other day

    and the clue was "It's full of periods" ....And I instantly thought women! ...I was wrong, it was eras :(
    JimmyEH JimmyEH
    26-30, M
    Jun 3, 2015

    I honestly think I'm the funniest person

    and its heartbreaking when no one laughs at my jokes but me
    tiki18 tiki18
    16-17, F
    May 30, 2015

    Kman4You Kman4You
    41-45, M
    May 30, 2015
    3st3ll3 3st3ll3
    16-17, F
    May 22, 2015

    Six hundred million ways to suffer

    and I choose you! :D
    moonii moonii
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 28, 2015

    if I'd be in a mafia; mafia boss:"okay Effy,

    gimme the tools" me:"tools?" mafia boss:"yeah, the ones that we need for this gig, the ones you had to bring" me:"oh shhhit...." *something suddenly comes around the corner* me:*screams and jumps and does poor hand karate just to see it was a leaf* *me tryina steal something...
    deleted deleted
    Apr 7, 2015

    I was laughing at this funny post

    and was like: "aaah sometimes I just love people" then suddenly my face went poker and I got all serious "Sometimes."
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Apr 7, 2015

    You know what,when I grow up I want to be.

    .. . . . . . . . . . . . . With you πŸ’•πŸ’• πŸ˜†πŸ˜
    claninzx claninzx
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 6, 2015

    If you're going to do something tonight

    that you will be sorry for tomorrow morning. Sleep Late :D
    Angelov Angelov
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 5, 2015

    I have zero patience

    for rude old people I don’t care if you’re a senior I’ll ******* fight you lets see what moves they taught your wrinkled *** in the war of 1812 talk **** get hit
    jamespasio26 jamespasio26
    18-21, M
    4 Responses Apr 4, 2015

    Cheers most likelys..

    .. They think I'm funny :P lolz
    samipee samipee
    22-25, F
    Apr 4, 2015

    sure https://www.youtube.

    com/watch?v=aA7iAMTAWHM :P
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Mar 23, 2015

    When everyone's walking around the class room

    and the teacher says sit down everyone else goes to their seat I just sit down instant "on the floor".
    yrnjojo yrnjojo
    18-21, M
    Mar 23, 2015

    Girls can't find their hair ties,

    but they know what you said 7 months ago at 6:40pm. :D
    glassbonespaperskin glassbonespaperskin
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 21, 2015

    When your friends says a guy likes you.

    . I ran out I ain't grab no shoes or nothing Jesus I ran!! I didn't know what to do, I'm horrible around guysπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ŠπŸ™ŠπŸ™‰
    deleted deleted
    Mar 20, 2015

    So, I just doing laundry with my like 7 year

    old brother, and I found a bra in the dryer, and I told him "look what I found " looooooll rotfl
    episajerk episajerk
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Mar 16, 2015

    πŸ˜‚ I think this is the funniest thing I have

    ever wacthed. https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152721877793652
    3st3ll3 3st3ll3
    16-17, F
    Mar 2, 2015
    hello12351 hello12351
    51-55, F
    Feb 18, 2015

    "My little brother just asked what erectile

    dysfunction is, and I told him it's when your anaconda don't want none regardless the presence of buns." - Yik Yak
    glassbonespaperskin glassbonespaperskin
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 7, 2015

    Omg... Watch it!! http://m.

    youtube.com/watch?v=je6BNKTf3Ys Only in New Zealand xD
    3st3ll3 3st3ll3
    16-17, F
    Jan 25, 2015

    Congradulations? Indeed!

    You are impervious to spell check.
    IfYouLikePinaColadas IfYouLikePinaColadas
    31-35, F
    Jan 24, 2015

    This little Indian boy asked his father,

    how do we get our names the father replied, well your sister is called little fawn running because there was a little fawn running by when she was born, and your brother is called big Buffalo because there is a big Buffalo near us when he was born.................. now do you...
    MrGemstone MrGemstone
    51-55, M
    Jan 17, 2015

    Lmfao! Fat guys can't

    even get it up ;) hahahah! Good thing I'm skinny.
    3st3ll3 3st3ll3
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Jan 16, 2015

    Okay, I don't think I'm funny.

    But the people around me thinks I'm funny. It has always been that way. Idk...do you know what I'm trying to say? ._.
    deleted deleted
    Jan 16, 2015

    Laugh and the world laughs with you.

    Snore and you sleep alone! Just remember this people! XD
    3st3ll3 3st3ll3
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Jan 15, 2015

    Journal entry #132. 1/13/2015 I seem to have

    misplaced my deodorant. I used a scented candle this morning. I wrote a check at the grocery store to pay for my 13 cans of cat food. I mistakenly dated it 2014. I asked the clerk if I could have it back. She replied "the date is correct, sir. But this isn't a check. It's a...
    Hipsterwannabe Hipsterwannabe
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 14, 2015
    Wiccalover51 Wiccalover51
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Jan 11, 2015
    eccentricpython eccentricpython
    26-30, F
    Jan 8, 2015
    dksl14 dksl14
    18-21, M
    Jan 8, 2015

    My father used to say,

    "Son, the way to win a woman over is to make her laugh. It's also a great excuse to take your pants off!"
    Hipsterwannabe Hipsterwannabe
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 6, 2015

    Ttyl = Timmy turner yells look WTF= where's the

    food GTG = going to google Lmao = laughing minions all over LOL= like over love
    RainbowWolf13 RainbowWolf13
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Dec 29, 2014
    yingzilin yingzilin
    26-30, F
    Dec 27, 2014

    I went out for drinks with boyfriend

    and friends. After numerous drinks I came home and thought I could cook a quick pizza. I turned the oven on and stuck it inside. Then I blacked out in my room. My boyfriend woke me up in the morning abruptly saying "you left the pizza in the oven" I was still half drunk and didn...
    Anonymouscoast Anonymouscoast
    Dec 21, 2014

    "the world is like a box of chocolates it does

    not last as long for fat people" seth says
    shadowpenisleech shadowpenisleech
    16-17, M
    1 Response Dec 16, 2014

    after all the sh!# we been through.

    ...can't believe we still together..........my *** cheeks...
    lovabledoll lovabledoll
    26-30, F
    Dec 14, 2014

    One day a medical professor

    and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, ''There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.'' After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the...
    imnotalone1818 imnotalone1818
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Dec 11, 2014

    i was just listening to a video,

    describing the internal working of the computer.... the narrator said, a computer has a MOTHERBOARD..... suddenly MOTHERF3KER came in to my mind...... and i translated this in my head like this a computer has a MOTHERF3KER, on which there are many small devices, which do the...
    LittleCreates LittleCreates
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Nov 20, 2014

    Daughter Accidentally Finds Her Mother Having

    An Affair. This Is Priceless :) 
    Moonlighting22 Moonlighting22
    36-40, M
    5 Responses Nov 19, 2014

    Just noticed on the cap of a drink 'Open By

    Hand'. Wow, so helpful... I was about to use a ******* screwdriver. Thank God I saw that.
    imasian13 imasian13
    18-21, F
    Nov 11, 2014

    I've been told many times I'm funny

    but it's all a matter of perspective . My humor is a bit dry and sarcastic
    ArtsyFaerie32 ArtsyFaerie32
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Oct 30, 2014
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Oct 20, 2014
    deleted deleted
    Oct 10, 2014
    livelovehopefree livelovehopefree
    16-17, F
    Oct 9, 2014

    I just asked someone

    who messaged for a fun time if we could make hot chocolate And do the Safety Dance Lmafo That was great
    Sincerely77 Sincerely77
    36-40, F
    Oct 8, 2014
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