I Am Funny

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 7,696 People

    Daughter Accidentally Finds Her Mother Having

    An Affair. This Is Priceless :) 
    Moonlighting22 Moonlighting22
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 16, 2016

    I have my own personal measurement tool

    for "Standard" inside my inner world. But when I see someone who takes out his own personal ruler to measure others' standard in public, it is kind of funny at first. If you don't even know what is her background and what she has been trough in all her life, how accurate your...
    whyacinth whyacinth
    36-40, F
    Apr 11, 2016

    Voldemort: your mamma's s- Harry: you killed my

    mom Voldemort: oh, you fathers s- Harry: you killed my dad Voldemort: dang it!
    DragonFaery DragonFaery
    13-15, F
    1 Response Mar 21, 2016

    Disclaimer: I have bird flu I don't feel good

    and I may offend someone. That being said.... So my damn fire alarm has been chirping for a week now. It sits ten feet up on the ceiling where I can only make crude gestures at it. Today, I tried to knock it down with the umbrella Amazon sent me in the thank you but no thank...
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    1 Response Mar 8, 2016

    It just comes out naturally.

    I like making someone smile and happy and my mind just can't stop thinking about silly things that makes someone else laugh.. well, even I laugh at it... so yeah, I look like a crazy person laughing alone. lol. I can enjoy my own company. ;) a good way to pit it, right? XD
    soyyoprincesa soyyoprincesa
    22-25, F
    Mar 2, 2016

    First time i realized I shouldn't have chewed

    the first cough drop. Ya know what I'll own that. Second time - wtf I wasn't going to chew it dammit The sad part is I only had two cough drops. I feel horrible I chewed them both. Now my coworker is out.
    AmazingPoet AmazingPoet
    41-45, M
    Mar 2, 2016

    ten ways to tell your not a genius 10.

    you can't spell 9. you have to state it- seriously ur not fooling anyone but yourself. 8- if you act like a guy or girl that just road a bicycle with out a seat over dumb sh** being said. look life's to short to have an evil koala up your ***. 7. repeat 10 thru 8 6. if you...
    Sorellana Sorellana
    26-30
    Feb 29, 2016

    OK so here is an example of someone I blocked

    and why. slimeprime- Can I ask an honest woman an honest question? me- I will indulge go for it. inbox..... slimeprime- OK I ask here? me- go for it but stupid questions get stupid answers. slimeprime- wTF?? are you retarded? WTF is your PROBLEM?!?!FUCJ YOU!!! CALLING ME...
    Sorellana Sorellana
    26-30
    3 Responses Feb 29, 2016

    If you really had to tell people you are funny.

    Chances are you're not that funny...
    YungFettuccine YungFettuccine
    22-25, M
    Feb 25, 2016

    Want to improvise jokes?

    In Southern California? Want to make videos or play games? I have 2 free groups on FB (& Tagged, Yahoo & Google Groups) forming. Comment/message for links & questions. Film group is no budget, indie, independent, guerrilla, skeleton crew level. No experience needed. Seeking...
    supergirl805 supergirl805
    22-25, F
    Feb 10, 2016

    so a telemarketer phones me

    and I decide to **** with him so this is how it goes: me - what are you wearing him - did I just hear you right. did you just ask me what I am wearing or did I misunderstand you me - no you heard me right. so suit and tie him - no only cause we're at a call center. why...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 18, 2016

    me:knock knock you:who's

    there me:daisy you:daisy who me:daisy me rollin they hatin!!!!! (i know im not actually that funny)
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jan 10, 2016

    I am funnier than you.

    I laugh daily. Enjoy life everyone.
    Jambo491 Jambo491
    26-30, M
    Dec 18, 2015

    I have concluded from my research

    that being gay or lesbian is totally natural because we are infact 'homo' sapiens
    idoubtthat idoubtthat
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 16, 2015

    eMpTy7 eMpTy7
    22-25, M
    Dec 14, 2015

    I ******* Love lil b Man my whole life I've

    been looking up to this one guy he is my am one of my main role models and the other one would be Steval and Johnny Knoxville from jackass i'll love to **** around with those guys
    omarswagger666 omarswagger666
    18-21, M
    Dec 13, 2015
    ragd0ll ragd0ll
    18-21, F
    Dec 11, 2015

    I think I am so funny I crack myself up

    once I made myself laugh so hard I peed myself hahahahaha
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Dec 2, 2015

    I make jokes pretty often,

    but usually I'm the only one laughing xD
    PiggieCutie PiggieCutie
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Nov 16, 2015

    Here is a photo of my face.

    Take a photo like mine and I will swap the faces for the photos for fun. Post a picture if you want to do a face swap done for laughs. I will message you the results of the face swap.
    Beme88 Beme88
    26-30, M
    Nov 6, 2015
    Dezitorsmilez Dezitorsmilez
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 20, 2015

    HE : You're like a mountain,

    so hard to move u ME : I wonder y ur still trying to move me?
    CuteDelilah CuteDelilah
    22-25, F
    Oct 4, 2015

    And usually when I get in trouble

    or don't wanna talk to people. I just don't speak in English. I speak in French since I'm a French girl. And they can't understand me so they just leave xD. If I'm getting in trouble I speak very little and very bad English so they think I'm still learning the laws of the...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Oct 1, 2015

    Today cops came to my house.

    And we got taught to not answer the door. But I wanted to. So I answered the door and said in my best British accent "you want some tea and crumpets mister buttcrack face" and then I slammed the door and ran xD and then he was yelling from outside that he's gonna come back with...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Oct 1, 2015

    Lord this had me balling

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­ β˜•οΈπŸΈπŸ‘€
    Ro11and Ro11and
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Sep 5, 2015

    TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!?

    ! 😫😫😫😫
    barbie899 barbie899
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Sep 5, 2015

    Any girls wanna chat super bored into anything

    out for yolos ask me any question will be answered
    omarog omarog
    26-30, M
    1 Response Sep 4, 2015

    In first grade I had this plastic squirrel

    that I found at a yard sale and I kept it in my desk at school b/c they have those cubby things and that was my pet squirrel for a few months and I would pretend to feed it and everything
    JacobSp123 JacobSp123
    18-21, T
    1 Response Aug 27, 2015

    My friends little bother

    who is two years old (almost 3) was brought to our cross country meet today and I wanted to be funny and annoy her family. I told him to say "swag" and the first few times he didn't. But an hour later I came up to him and asked him to say swag and he actually said it and wouldn...
    Lcy2472 Lcy2472
    13-15, F
    Aug 25, 2015

    Fun adds to charm in life

    provided it remains within boundaries. Sometimes one indulges in fun making which is remembered and enjoyed. Once my hubby was going to shave when suddenly I recalled a piece of experience, so I decided to imitate. I immediately followed him, started teasing and when he was arou...
    modeve modeve
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Aug 18, 2015

    Share the funniest thing

    that has happened to you in the last year. Then put" And that's how I met your Mother/Father." And GO!
    Yukikazuna95 Yukikazuna95
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 15, 2015

    When your teacher says a stupid joke

    but you need to pass the class
    FataIity FataIity
    18-21, M
    1 Response Aug 10, 2015

    if i was a hamster trying to ask out a fellow

    lady hamster i would say β€˜are you from amsterdam because hamster, D A M N!’. and not being able to do this is the number one reason humans suck
    w3lcom3 w3lcom3
    18-21, M
    1 Response Aug 3, 2015

    In 6th grade after our teacher read us two

    different versions of Cinderella she asked the class,"Alright so what did both Cinderellas have in common?" I blurted out,"They both had balls." The whole class tried not to laugh and the teacher just looked at me strangely then said,"Yes but that's not the answer I was...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jul 31, 2015
    swaged104 swaged104
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jul 25, 2015
    Ihan14 Ihan14
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jul 24, 2015
    Ihan14 Ihan14
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jul 23, 2015

    Batman: So what's with the Ice Palace Superman:

    It's my fortress of solitude and you can relate to that Batman: Sure thing Elsa
    ThatGuyUndertheTree ThatGuyUndertheTree
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jul 18, 2015

    Okay so there's these olives right.

    . There's a black olive and a green olive.. So the black & Green Olive are chillin or whatever you know doing what olives do you know like going to "OLIVE GARDEN"πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ ... So then the black olive trips and falls so then the green olive says "oh my god are you okay" and then...
    ayojahjah ayojahjah
    22-25, M
    Jul 18, 2015

    comedy, of any sort, is usually a byproduct of

    a tumor that grows on the human soul. If you know a really funny person who isn't tortured and broken inside, I'd say they've just successfully hidden it from you, I'm not saying anything science doesn't already know, by the way. Find a comedian, and you'll usually find...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jul 9, 2015

    I'm just wondering what type of people use this

    app cause I'm smart and everything but people think I'm Wired as **** but jokes at the same time or is this app of everyone so what I'm asking is what are the type of people that use this app ?
    omarOG66 omarOG66
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jul 2, 2015

    teacher: what word is opposite with laugh?

    student: sex teacher:??? student: laugh is ha ha but sex is ah ah ah
    MeenSirikorn MeenSirikorn
    16-17, F
    Jun 20, 2015
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jun 16, 2015

    Something happened

    On a dark and stormy night...
    jeb2 jeb2
    51-55, T
    Jun 15, 2015

    I laugh at damn random things

    and sometimes I laugh simply cause it makes me feel AWESOME
    Indieda Indieda
    18-21, M
    Jun 14, 2015

    I called a Tina today at work

    and thought "Tina! Eat your meatloaf!" But accidentally said it out loud πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jun 9, 2015

    I was doing the crossword puzzle the other day

    and the clue was "It's full of periods" ....And I instantly thought women! ...I was wrong, it was eras :(
    JimmyEH JimmyEH
    26-30, M
    Jun 3, 2015

    I honestly think I'm the funniest person

    and its heartbreaking when no one laughs at my jokes but me
    tiki18 tiki18
    16-17, F
    May 30, 2015

    Kman4You Kman4You
    36-40, M
    May 30, 2015
    3st3ll3 3st3ll3
    16-17, F
    May 22, 2015

    Six hundred million ways to suffer

    and I choose you! :D
    moonii moonii
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 28, 2015

    if I'd be in a mafia; mafia boss:"okay Effy,

    gimme the tools" me:"tools?" mafia boss:"yeah, the ones that we need for this gig, the ones you had to bring" me:"oh shhhit...." *something suddenly comes around the corner* me:*screams and jumps and does poor hand karate just to see it was a leaf* *me tryina steal something...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 7, 2015

    I was laughing at this funny post

    and was like: "aaah sometimes I just love people" then suddenly my face went poker and I got all serious "Sometimes."
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 7, 2015

    You know what,when I grow up I want to be.

    .. . . . . . . . . . . . . With you πŸ’•πŸ’• πŸ˜†πŸ˜
    claninzx claninzx
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 6, 2015

    If you're going to do something tonight

    that you will be sorry for tomorrow morning. Sleep Late :D
    Angelov Angelov
    22-25, M
    1 Response Apr 5, 2015

    I have zero patience

    for rude old people I don’t care if you’re a senior I’ll ******* fight you lets see what moves they taught your wrinkled *** in the war of 1812 talk **** get hit
    jamespasio26 jamespasio26
    18-21, M
    4 Responses Apr 4, 2015

    Cheers most likelys..

    .. They think I'm funny :P lolz
    samipee samipee
    22-25, F
    Apr 4, 2015

    sure https://www.youtube.

    com/watch?v=aA7iAMTAWHM :P
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 23, 2015

    When everyone's walking around the class room

    and the teacher says sit down everyone else goes to their seat I just sit down instant "on the floor".
    yrnjojo yrnjojo
    18-21, M
    Mar 23, 2015

    Girls can't find their hair ties,

    but they know what you said 7 months ago at 6:40pm. :D
    glassbonespaperskin glassbonespaperskin
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 21, 2015
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