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I Am Going Through a Divorce Right Now

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 491 People

    This absolutely is miserable.

    My husband seems to think he is going to take me to the cleaners and receive everything that he requested in the settlement. He is wrong. I am fighting for the kids and me to be able to live after this is over. God willing, I will have at least 40 more years of life, so I...
    LRMommyof3 LRMommyof3 36-40, F Jul 3

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    Not actually a divorce

    but a separation. I call it "divorce" though because it's irreparable. My marriage is over. And so is my capacity to love. I have written posts and posts about this and still the idea doesn't seem to enter my head. I have talked to so many nice people about this and the tears...
    bettyajz bettyajz 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 3

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    My Resolve: Taking Back My Life

    Challenge, Discover, Connect, Conquer, Learn, Move, Aspire, Absorb, Grow, Adapt, Love, Embrace, Inspire, Lead, Follow, Try, Enjoy, Jump, Dance, Fight, Protect, Fear, Win, Lose, Recover, Believe, Support, Seek, Share, Forgive, Experience, See, Smell, Touch, Feel and Remember...
    mindnoter mindnoter 26-30, M 4 Responses Mar 17, 2013

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    Been with my wife over 20 years

    and married for sixteen and now she says the spark is gone. A couple of years ago we came though a long infidelity on her part which I still blame on myself for not making her happy. I am such an idiot. I guess I am destined to repeat the chain of broken families since I was...
    SamStartingOver SamStartingOver 41-45, M 5 Responses Mar 31

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    A Primal Grieving Cry...

    So, just like everybody else on this page, I 'am going through a divorce right now.' Actually, it's the separation preceding the filing of a divorce (our state mandates a year of separation before couples can file for divorce), but it might actually be worse than the legal...
    rockrock1974 rockrock1974 36-40, M 7 Responses Jun 9, 2012

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    Am I wrong for wanting to snoop on her laptop

    to try to find out if/who the other person is? She swears there is no one but I feel there is. I feel I am violating her trust but damn she trampled all over my trust by destroying my hopes and dreams for the future after 20 plus years.
    SamStartingOver SamStartingOver 41-45, M 3 Responses Apr 1

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    Actually It Is The Last Phase

    I got divorced about four years ago. For reasons not important, we shared the house until a couple of weeks ago. Tomorrow will be the last phase, she is going to pickup her things. It will be great seeing the last of her.
    Idonwannadie Idonwannadie 46-50, M 13 Responses Oct 12, 2012

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    I'm in a very sad place in my life.

    Currently in the divorce process and feeling very alone and lost.:-( Just looking to find others that share my experience and find comfort from others words of wisdom.
    kluann25 kluann25 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 28

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    Breath Of Fresh Air!

    Just finished today! Man... I tell you what that process SUCKED! However, now that chapter in my book of life is over and closed and I can open the next one with a much clearer head and it feels like a hundred pound weight has come off my shoulders. A few years of scraping by...
    Shoreboy Shoreboy 41-45, M 4 Responses Sep 24, 2013

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    Life Is

    There was a time when simply being together was good enough. We would balance each other out so well, enjoy the company, relax and talk and never have to worry about the other person accepting us. It just was. I loved her for who she was and she loved me for who I was. But...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    Anyone knows how to deal with this terrible

    pain? Share your experience.
    theaidana theaidana 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 14

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    My wife asked me for a divorce in January - my

    world is shattered! She took our daughter with her and has since moved all of her stuff out of the apartment. I simply cannot function without her - I don't eat, sleep, and can't focus. Things got so depressing that I tried suicide, she stayed by my side until I was better then...
    irichardceo irichardceo 26-30, M 11 Responses Mar 14

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    Feeling A Bit Lost..

    H and I have been together for 30 years (23 of them being married) and have two children, 19/17 yr olds. In that time, we've gone through a lot of ups, downs, hurdles and hurts.In 2008, he left a job he had for 16 years (because he was tired of doing it) to try doing his own...
    PL466 PL466 46-50, F 8 Responses Mar 3, 2013

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    Its not easy to chose to end a marriage.

    When an endless cycle of hurt and unhappiness tears at your heart every day. Its time to let go, move on, and place your children first.
    bluetop bluetop 31-35, M 4 Responses May 23

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    Ok I left my wife because I felt she was

    bitching all the time about everything and wasn't pleasing me sexually. Sex only came once a month or so. Now I feel like I want her back and get upset when I see or think of her with someone else. She says she doesn't want me back now so I need to move on. I still love her...
    garnettsnewlife garnettsnewlife 36-40, M Aug 28

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    On the bright side in the last two weeks I have

    lost 15 pounds. I think I will market it as the DS diet. Divorce Stress diet. Not cheap though. Sucking away the life time savings nest egg we built together to get this behind me and start over. Crazy thing is she thinks I am loosing weight to try to convince her to stay. I...
    SamStartingOver SamStartingOver 41-45, M 3 Responses Apr 9

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    This is an unwanted divorce.

    I cannot move on, and I'm stuck. I don't know how people can just walk out of their spouses for no good reason. Then be fine about it too and not really consider the kids. I'm dying because of this divorce. It consumes all my thoughts, my life, my world. It is all that I...
    LRMommyof3 LRMommyof3 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 1

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    He told me he planned to file

    and brought divorce papers to the house to be filed. They sat for four days. I decided to file myself. Things are hectic and crazy. I hope to be complete with this chapter of my life soon.
    BrokenBattle14 BrokenBattle14 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 25

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    Lame Last Attempts

    Well, the stbx and I haven't been talking to each other at all lately - a situation that I'm perfectly happy with. Last night for some reason she decided to get into it. Generally, I've noticed when she attempts this that she is really trying to goad me into saying something...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 31-35, M 7 Responses Aug 15, 2013

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    Throughout my marriage my husband has been

    unfaithful in some sort of way. He would make online profiles on adultfriendfinder and other adult dating sites to talk to women. We have been married for 8 years. In those 8 years he has never made me feel like he truly wanted me. He would always go to the internet to fill...
    elle1640 elle1640 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 9

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    I received a letter last week

    that we have a final court date for the divorce. It's really on my birthday. I don't celebrate my birthday much so that part doesn't bother me. I did find it coincidence. I'm hurting much less as time moves on. I'm excited to start my life without him. Almost as excited as I...
    jaylow13 jaylow13 36-40, F 4 Responses Aug 17

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    Cheating Rat!

    Sadly for anyone that cares, me and my husband are getting a divorce. I have found out that he has been seeing another women for months and has gotten her pregnant. I found out last week, I now am staying at my friends, I hope to bounce back soon x For anyone who reads my other...
    kimcheung kimcheung 26-30, F 35 Responses Feb 16, 2013

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    I have been with the same man

    for 25 years. I thought we had a good marriage. He had an affair with a close friend of mine and despite me forgiving him he wants a divorce. I still love him and the life we had. I cannot believe how I can go from feeling a little ok to so low in the span of a day. Looking for...
    hera2014 hera2014 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 31

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    She says she want out

    but every time I ask for us to get the divorce paperwork started she breaks down crying. How long can this hell be dragged out. I have given up trying to finite out why now. A part of me hopes she has found someone else honestly. I am heart broken and pissed about what she is...
    SamStartingOver SamStartingOver 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 3

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    I've been separated for almost 6 months now.

    I loved being married but the marriage was toxic and had to end. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I love being with someone, but I realized that to be truly happy, I had to find a way to leave him and move on. He's a narcissist and was at his all time worst. I...
    LifeGaveMeLemons LifeGaveMeLemons 46-50, F 11 Responses Mar 8

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    Not Offended

    As I was walking in the park yesterday, I felt God impart on me, the understanding of why I shouldn't be offended. I am going through a divorce and although my husband and I are getting along well enough to go through mediation right now... I often become offended by many of his...
    jann4 jann4 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 11, 2013

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    My husband and I were a team fighting

    for the same goals. Now that this divorce has happened, I realize that we are not on the same team, that he is not helping pay all the bills, that he is skimming money to pad his personal account, so he can go have his affair(s). When he says his cards are maxed out, I need to...
    LRMommyof3 LRMommyof3 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 2

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    I am losing. I am not going to win this

    marriage back, so I have got to let go. It's been 9 months, and he's not coming home. The kids and I are alone and it's truly hard to accept that. I still cry every day, and I cry even more that he doesn't care about us anymore. How is that possible?! Is it really true that...
    LRMommyof3 LRMommyof3 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 11

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    Been married 17 years.

    I'm not necessarily going through divorce, but my wife has emotionally abandoned me (physically too). I don't know what to do...struggling. I'm still attracted to her and want to draw close but she does not show the same interest. 2 great kids. Don't know what to do. Don't...
    beancounttc beancounttc 36-40, M 4 Responses Apr 9

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    Finally. And end. Yesterday,

    which ironically was out 13th wedding anniversary, we finally sat down and hammered out company buy out, spousal support and child support. So very lightening for the soul after these many years. Divorce coming soon. And we ended up ending it amicably. I feel lucky. So many...
    Tico72 Tico72 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 24

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    Got the final judgement today.

    I am a single man for the first time in 18 years. Kind of anti-climactic. No court date. Judge just issued it today. Feelings of relief, failure, numbness, hopefulness all rolled together. Ex is supposed to close on her house on Monday and should be out of this house in next...
    SamStartingOver SamStartingOver 41-45, M 4 Responses Jun 12

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    I am close to getting a divorce,

    and I am so grateful I don't have kids. My marriage lasted for 11 years and it is ending because we grew apart. As I look back, I do not have many memories to share as "husband and wife". He is a good man and he loved me greatly, but the love for me died slowly as we were having...
    Aileen73 Aileen73 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 5

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    More Drama On the Phone

    Some of you may have read my last story in this group called "So it begins".  This is just an update to share what happened today when my soon to be ex wife called.   I got the call thinking it was my little girl on the phone who she lets talk to me almost...
    denverguy denverguy 36-40, M 7 Responses Jun 23, 2009

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    Careful...be Careful

    You know the part where after the heat boils over and cools, there's that period of clarity. In every marriage and divorce there are signs that there once was something that made the relationship great. That made the marriage worth every moment. Where the love trumps all of the...
    Tekkamaki Tekkamaki 31-35 6 Responses Mar 13, 2010

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    Next Desktop Background | UPDATED

    Today I logged in to find my ex has occupied my computer. At least her photo popped up in my wallpaper. I have thousands of photos in my wallpaper library, which cycles the background frequently. Many have my ex. Now I need to go in and prune that library. ****, that's gonna take...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 8 Responses Aug 21, 2013

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    Flashbacks

    Month 2 after separation. It's flashback season. Memories of my X float into my consciousness 20 or 30 times a day. Good things, bad things, plans, dreams, places, ordinary moments, the mundane. No desire to go back, just stabs of pain here and there. Today I realized I...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 7 Responses Sep 16, 2013

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    We have been married

    for 17 years and have two boys, ages 12 & 5. My wife told me in early January that she is done and filing for divorce. I am devastated. I love her so much, but she said she is tired of the broken promises and can't stay on this merry-go-round any longer. I am not perfect and I...
    Dankir96 Dankir96 46-50, M 4 Responses Feb 15

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    STBX put an escrow payment down on new house

    today and we finally have the mitigation appointment with the attorney next week to get our divorce paperwork submitted. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter every day! We are splitting things down the middle she says but she is certainly taking the bigger...
    SamStartingOver SamStartingOver 41-45, M 3 Responses May 12

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    After 20 Years Of Misery

    Being married for 20 years to a bully is certainly not the marriage I envisioned. Too young I supposed, at 21..what do I know then...he didnt actually beat me up physically but the mental abuse is just as bad. I as made to feel like dirt beneath his feet. He made me feel unworthy...
    yellowrose090 yellowrose090 56-60, F 5 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    Finally got the soon to be ex to agree to tell

    the kids tonight that Mommy and Daddy are getting a divorce. They took it better than expected and didn't seem very surprised. The kids are smarter than given credit for. Really broke my heart. Killed me though when my stbx kept saying it was a mutual decision. I don't...
    SamStartingOver SamStartingOver 41-45, M May 3

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    Finally

    After three years of total angst and feeling guilted to stay here for the child, I just decided to stop waffling and held my ground on this decision. It's been a very long time coming. All of what I've been going through for the past few years have just been symptoms to cover the...
    lisa36 lisa36 36-40, F 9 Responses Jun 9, 2012

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    It took years to get here.

    It's so ugly. He doesn't want it. He can not accept it. I'm convinced he will never let me be truly happy and content. He would rather watch me burn. The emotional rollercoaster is, at times, unbearable. His highs and lows are more than I can take another day.... I feel...
    MissWorld33 MissWorld33 36-40, F 7 Responses May 24

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    Husband asked for a separation on 22nd of

    November and has proceeded to sleep with at least two (that I know of) different women in the three weeks since dropping the bomb on me. I love him but I'm done. He asked for separation, I hired a lawyer and filed for divorce last week. Cannot ever forgive infidelity.
    Andromeday Andromeday 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 21, 2013

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    I'm thinking that if he keeps dragging this

    divorce out we will be destitute by the end. Much easier to split nothing I guess. Over 3 years now. I could, and today did, just cry because I am so frustrated. When over I think it's making progress he throws another wrench in it. Aaarrrrggghh!!!!
    Tico72 Tico72 41-45, F 13 Responses Mar 10

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    i see it, i feel it,

    but it hasn't really started. can anyone help me?
    anton88 anton88 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 22

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    D - devastating I - incomprehensible

    or important (depending on the issues) V - voluminous O - overwhelming R - ruined C - careless E - emotional
    LRMommyof3 LRMommyof3 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 2

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    Today At The Ex's House

    Today I went to my exes house to move the last shipment of my stuff. She was nicer to me than usual. Even bothered to ask how I was. At the same time she made it clear that she doesn't want me to keep coming back to take more of my things. That's reasonable, but unnecessary...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 10 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    Identity Crisis After Separation

    A month after I separated from my wife of 13 years, I am realizing a subtle transformation in the way I identify myself. When we are married to someone for that long, we define our identity by that marriage. We are married people, behave like married people, and that person is...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 14 Responses Sep 12, 2013

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    Divorce After 26 Years

    So my husband gets out of the military almost 10 yrs ago, he comes home and says he doesn't want to be a husband or a father anymore, that's it, just like that! We had 2 beautiful girls 5 and 10 and I had to leave my FT job as he was deployed and we are in a different city from...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 13 Responses Apr 16, 2013

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    Related Experiences

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    But my fiance and I just aren't financially ready. We're not even sure that we'll have a roof over our heads next month... God blessed us with a basement apartment, our own place...
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    My heart is useless right now, I can't jumpstart it either It's like a balloon Which has been punctured Lit on fire and then Corroded in this anti-love acid I would scream but I...
    MrHeartaFire MrHeartaFire 31-35, M Sep 8

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    Hello everyone, I just wanted to share an experience that I am praying is now ending. I am someone that could never handle too many emotions. I often feel overwhelmed very fast...
    mariashelly mariashelly 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 15