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I Am Going Through a Separation

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,419 People

    It's his birthday and valentine's day.

    The silence this morning is so palpable I can taste it. My arms ache they are so empty. I feel like I am further in, deeper down. It hurts
    grommit3 grommit3 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    My husband of 10 years has decided he needs a

    break and is moving out for six months. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I'm looking for people to talk to that have gone through a separation and ended up back together and stronger than ever. Someone please help me get through this awful time.
    JCornell716 JCornell716 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 29, 2014

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    I'm also going through a separation,

    I didn't appreciate my husband when I had him, I allowed my insecurities to over power my emotions. It been 2 months and he hasn't called me but has spoke with our daughter who is not his biological daughter, he asked how I was doing and that was it. We have been married for 1...
    Skinnyguru45 Skinnyguru45 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    Broke up with a girl

    who i thought loved me. im not sure what we are now. i know ill never find anyone again. im worthless
    jordancronin jordancronin 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 18

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    Living In The Same House With My Ex

    Our situation is a bit unique. For several reasons, we are living under the same roof, however we are living separately. This is temporary and I will be moving out in May of 2014 when my son graduates High School. For the most part we are tolerating each other. He doesn't want to...
    summerfire summerfire 46-50, F 11 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    Why Us?

    My husband of 19.5 years woke me up at 5am two weeks ago to tell me he was leaving.  We have been together for 24 years. Now, I guess the whole "how was I the last to know" situation is true here.  Less than a week before he told me he loved me.  We made...
    notready4this notready4this 41-45 66 Responses Jul 30, 2009

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    After 20 years, it has come to this.

    Most of it my fault. I understand the issues that I must work on. (anger, verbal abuse.) We are in counseling, both individually and as a couple. I'm fearful that she'll want to make it permanent. We've been through a lot and now the stress level has almost disappeared for...
    querried querried 46-50, M 2 Responses Aug 23, 2014

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    I want peace for my mental health.

    As much as I love my husband, we aren't on the same page anymore. We avoid communication now; trying to talk it out doesn't work. I just end up frustrated and mad. (Don't think he understands where I'm coming from anymore.) And I think that he's thoughtless. We have been married...
    venus1979 venus1979 31-35, F 5 Responses Sep 14, 2014

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    I just told my husband I wanted to separate.

    He agreed but wasn't too happy. We have been going thru so much in the past 2yrs.... I just want a break from the chaos
    Shawneeluv Shawneeluv 22-25, F 5 Responses Sep 13, 2014

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    Standing Up

    When the pain of holding on is greater than the pain of letting go, the best thing I could do was take a breath and let it shatter. Sometimes I don't need a different place to be, sometimes I need to look at the same place with a different set of eyes.
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Jun 19, 2013

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    It's been a hell of a day,

    Really don't know where to begin. I'm at a loss for words, battered and broken. Half truths, half lies all the words you have spoken. It would have been 22 years in a month and some weeks. I have begged for answers never to hear you speak. We have fought all day, emotions are...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 4 Responses Dec 12, 2013

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    It has now been one year

    since my life was flipped upside down. 365 days of never ending grief. "Time heals all wounds," is what I have been told over and over. I am beginning to wonder if something is wrong with me. Why am I not getting over it? She would always say that I had lost my sensitivity...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 2 Responses May 12, 2014

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    Since my separation from my spouse,

    I see on social media that everyone is getting engaged or married. Im happy for them. I pray that put God first in their marriage. And God be with them through it all. I cant speak the same for mines. I wish i was happy.
    DeniseMarie12 DeniseMarie12 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    Sad, Confused, And Lonely.

    My wife and I met when I was 18 and a freshman in college. I fell in love with her instantly. A great story, but some other time. Anyways, she graduated junior college and followed me to a FU college. She's the only reason I made it through. A long 6 years supporting one...
    Confusious13 Confusious13 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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    This will be my fourth entry.

    I haven't posted in a long time. I am coming up to the two year mark of my separation from my wife. I wish I could say things have gotten better; to a certain extent I suppose they have. I'm out of the house, have an apartment until we can get the house sold and I'm back to...
    IntrinsicSpoon IntrinsicSpoon 31-35, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    My heart is useless right now,

    I can't jumpstart it either It's like a balloon Which has been punctured Lit on fire and then Corroded in this anti-love acid I would scream but I lost My voice so long ago And the hammer of her betrayal And that of her devil man Has smashed my fingers through So there is no...
    MrHeartaFire MrHeartaFire 41-45, M Sep 8, 2014

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    No Christmas tree standing

    or stalkings hanging. Without my husband there seems to be no Christmas at all. The house is cold and shows no holiday spirit. I totally understand why so many people become depressed or more depressed during Christmas. I wish Santa would give me the gift I want the most... My...
    Faith2117 Faith2117 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    Less than a year of marriage

    and were already separating. Dating was amazing until we married. Everything started falling apart. She brought a lot of baggage. I should've thought about this a little bit longer. I still care about her so much but it seems like she's already moved on because she's already...
    DannyG7 DannyG7 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 21, 2014

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    My husband left me in 2013.

    He was suffering depression and PTSD. He came back after 6 months and I supported him through his illness. In early 2014 he was on the road to recovery and told me he didn't love me anymore. We sold our house and separated officially last May. We kept in touch as we were best...
    Rachbclough Rachbclough 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 15

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    My love is 23 years older

    than me. We met a few years ago online via mutual spiritual interests. It was totally platonic but I broke off contact due to doing other things in my life, I wasn't quite ready to explore my spirituality. At the beggining of the year we got back into contact and basically fell...
    bettecc11 bettecc11 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2014

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    It's his birthday and valentine's day.

    The silence this morning is so palpable I can taste it. My arms ache they are so empty. I feel like I am further in, deeper down. It hurts
    grommit3 grommit3 36-40, F Feb 14

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    After 16 years of marriage (total of 21 yrs

    together - no kids) and 9 months ago my husband told me that he loves me but is not in love with me. He is depressed and the depression makes everything so cloudy. For the first few months I thought we were surely headed for divorce. He has been seeing a counselor...
    dwalter98 dwalter98 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 16, 2014

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    My husband left me and our two daughters on 4th

    December to live with a woman he has only just met - feel so alone and rejected - we didn't row he just came up to bed at midnight woke me up to tell me he was leaving and left - I am devastated - we have been married 19 years and it's like he has died - he has no emotion at all...
    justlost46 justlost46 46-50, F 5 Responses Dec 30, 2014

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    How can you miss someone

    so much who treated you so badly? The negative things they have out you through should override any love and transcend into hatred. I want to hate you, you don't know how bad I wish I could. I wake with eyes crusted from tears she'd in my sleep. While awake vision blurred from...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 6 Responses Mar 28, 2014

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    So my FiL who I am really close with gave me

    fresh bread he just baked like he always does ...and I took it turned away from the kids, stepped behind the band and lost it. I didn't just lose my wife but I lost the family I became part of. Ughhhh
    MrHeartaFire MrHeartaFire 41-45, M 3 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    Just because he says

    that we are separated, he better not expect for his son to stay on weekends for me to watch while he is at work. To start it off, he wanted this because something thats petty, and i feel that he is bipolar because he is wish washing
    DeniseMarie12 DeniseMarie12 26-30, F Nov 12, 2014

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    So much time. I have nothing

    but time to think, and then think some more. Why did he have to kiss her? Why did he involve himself with another woman, when I was right here? He texted her for months, sexted too. This is what confuses me the most. We were having regular sex. We were spending time with each...
    JenLei JenLei 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    I've been healing well

    but lately I've been thinking about her non stop, I know it's going to take time but I feel like calling and the evil angel the other side is telling me just forget about her. It's hard to cope, I rather choose to be happy than miserable.
    BrOOklYnBaNdiT718 BrOOklYnBaNdiT718 26-30, M Jan 27, 2014

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    After 25 Years!

    I did it. I got off this crazy merry go 'round. Twenty five years and enough is enough. It's now 4 months and I'm feeling better than I did a few months ago. I left my husband about 14 years ago and wished I had not gone back but....there were all kinds of reasons to go back...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Dec 9, 2012

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    I can't take any more of his games,

    they are making me feel crazy. 😞
    Guavajelly Guavajelly 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 9, 2014

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    And It Begins...:-(

    Today is the first day of our separation. This weekend we moved him to the upstairs bedroom and it was absolutely heartbreaking to walk into my half empty bedroom (my/our it feels so foreign to talk in singulars). So much that I spend the first night on the couch. We are still in...
    heartache14 heartache14 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 30, 2012

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    I am in a same sex marriage.

    My wife left me last week and won't speak to me, won't return my calls or texts, has blocked me and all of our mutual friends on Facebook. I have asked her via text if I should be anticipating divorce papers or if she just needs time to sort herself. No response. I am feeling...
    comradestudent comradestudent 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    After 15 years, I am separating from the only

    person I ever really let inside my heart. We have been separated since the end of December 2013. I thought it might be temporary, but I know it is permanent now. The feelings of loss is almost unbearable. It is not just the loss of her; it is the loss of my extended family...
    Barelycoping325 Barelycoping325 46-50, F 7 Responses Jul 18, 2014

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    Oh god. I just saw him

    for the first time since we broke up. We kind od bumped into each other. When he noticed me, he forced a smile on his face, said 'Hi'. I hardly looked at him. A hot pain in my chest, I was paralysed. I just wanted to press him against me. Tell him how good he looks. Tell him I...
    Sorfarina Sorfarina 26-30, F 1 Response May 8, 2014

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    My wife informed me 5 months ago

    that she wanted a separation. We are still living in the same house. I do not want to separate and would like us to repair our marriage. We're waiting for her to find a job before we inform our children or our respective families/friends. You can follow me at lifefromlemons.com
    lifefromlemons lifefromlemons 41-45, M 6 days ago

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    This has been such a long road,

    and very bumpy, but I feel we've reached the end of it. We must find a new road. I don't know if that is together or not, but I feel I have to separate from him for awhile to figure it out. We have separated twice before, and things would improve for a little while, but they...
    onetimetoomany onetimetoomany 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 8, 2014

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    Separated But Not Equal

    My marriage of 14 years is coming to an end. I had seen the writing on the wall for the past 2 years but had tried everything I could to make things better between us. We had been friends for 8 years before we got married and that has carried through some of the toughest times...
    enigmatic1 enigmatic1 36-40, M 19 Responses Sep 15, 2010

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    I'm separated after more

    than 30 years of marriage and for the first time I feel that I'm worthy of being just me
    Carolwashere Carolwashere 51-55, F Feb 8

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    Omg!! I Cannot Believe What Just Happened!!!

    It's been 14 months now that I have been separated. I have struggled so hard to pull myself back together again and raise my little boy on my own. I have been on an emotional roller coaster for sometime now regarding my ex husband and how I felt about him there has been a large...
    Wiltingflower Wiltingflower 36-40, F 17 Responses Mar 3, 2012

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    My husband and I just talked this morning about

    going our separate ways. I am so distraught but I know it is the best choice. :'(
    Robin68 Robin68 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    This will probably be one of the hardest

    letters I have ever written. For so long I thought I needed answers from you in order to heal. Why, after 21 years did you betray me? Why did you choose him, a relative stranger over me? Why did you refuse to work to save our marriage? Those are but a few of the hundreds of...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 3 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    My husband and I basically don't

    even speak anymore. Our marriage has become so distant. We are always at odds. I am so lonely it's killing me inside, like a stabbing knife. I want to try counseling but he refuses. I don't know how I will get through this since he is the bread winner. How do I move forward when...
    Robin68 Robin68 46-50, F 3 Responses Feb 10

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    I keep thinking that this is going to get

    easier to accept. I wish I could have gotten through to her how loved and appreciated she is. I don't want to leave, I want her by my side!
    lifefromlemons lifefromlemons 41-45, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    So after almost 16 years of marriage

    and 24 years if being with the same man...I am the one who wants the separation.. however I am still sad because of our children.. To change what they know as our everyday family life... However it was good or bad...It was and is a routine.. That soon will change. Whoever has...
    Sassyblues Sassyblues 41-45, F 12 Responses Sep 5, 2014

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    Decided the day after Valentine's day.

    I know it's the right thing, but it doesn't make it any easier. I've isolated myself from the world so I'm all alone in this. The threats started and I'm starting to not even care. I wonder how long the numbness lasts. I hope I can make it out there in the scary world alone.
    AngelaNix AngelaNix 22-25, F 5 Responses Feb 15

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    I feel so sick to my stomach

    because of all this. No appetite. I am not hungry at all. This is awful, this distant marriage. Sad thing is, I never saw this coming. I tried everything.
    Robin68 Robin68 46-50, F 5 Responses Feb 10

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