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I Am Going Through a Separation

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,376 People

    I am now a hunter. Not

    so much hunting for my beautiful wife and pursuing her, but its something else entirely that I have to work on. Y'see I haven't provided well for her and my family. "Good enough" was my motto...just scraping by paycheck to paycheck. But I have my kids D8 D6 S4. They are my...
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 2 Responses Jul 8

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    Sad, Confused, And Lonely.

    My wife and I met when I was 18 and a freshman in college. I fell in love with her instantly. A great story, but some other time. Anyways, she graduated junior college and followed me to a FU college. She's the only reason I made it through. A long 6 years supporting one...
    Confusious13 Confusious13 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 10, 2012

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    So much time. I have nothing

    but time to think, and then think some more. Why did he have to kiss her? Why did he involve himself with another woman, when I was right here? He texted her for months, sexted too. This is what confuses me the most. We were having regular sex. We were spending time with each...
    JenLei JenLei 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2013

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    My husband and I have been married 18 years.

    We were married young (19) and under stressful circumstances (we were broke up when I found out I was pregnant). We have had a very tough 18 years full of periods of him drinking and doing hurtful things, him never respecting or appreciating me and a lot of fighting. We have...
    iheartmybabies iheartmybabies 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    Divorce???? Really??? We Were Soo Happy! Confused.com!!

    Hi, My husband has been gone 5 weeks now, living with his dad. Here's my story....... Firstly me and my husband have been together for 8-9yrs, married for 3-4yrs. We have 3 wonderful children, all planned, a nice house. I am 29yrs old and 'He' is 35yrs old. This is (for both of...
    xpeachypantsx xpeachypantsx 26-30 3 Responses Nov 26, 2010

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    Separated & Hurting

    UPDATE: Since I first wrote this story, much has changed! I now enjoy a complete sense of freedom from a strangulating trap to a new open place of opportunity to explore new fulfilling and rewarding relationships. As I reflect back, it amazes me to think of the deep dispair...
    Passionateheartman Passionateheartman 46-50, M 12 Responses Feb 12, 2012

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    It's been a hell of a day,

    Really don't know where to begin. I'm at a loss for words, battered and broken. Half truths, half lies all the words you have spoken. It would have been 22 years in a month and some weeks. I have begged for answers never to hear you speak. We have fought all day, emotions are...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 4 Responses Dec 12, 2013

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    Standing Up

    When the pain of holding on is greater than the pain of letting go, the best thing I could do was take a breath and let it shatter. Sometimes I don't need a different place to be, sometimes I need to look at the same place with a different set of eyes.
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Jun 19, 2013

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    Another day to pull myself together,

    force a happy loving outlook to attract my spouse and show her I am not desperate needy or begging to get her back. Deep breaths. One can save the marriage if you be the change & calmly powerfully love. I am going to get er done!
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 1 Response May 11

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    After 25 Years!

    I did it. I got off this crazy merry go 'round. Twenty five years and enough is enough. It's now 4 months and I'm feeling better than I did a few months ago. I left my husband about 14 years ago and wished I had not gone back but....there were all kinds of reasons to go back...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Dec 9, 2012

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    Separated But Not Equal

    My marriage of 14 years is coming to an end. I had seen the writing on the wall for the past 2 years but had tried everything I could to make things better between us. We had been friends for 8 years before we got married and that has carried through some of the toughest times...
    enigmatic1 enigmatic1 36-40, M 19 Responses Sep 15, 2010

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    Blah! I miss my wife!

    I can hardly breathe as this crater sized hole in my heart sucks the life out of me. Ahhhhh
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M May 11

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    It has left me with two boys bills I can't pay

    and needing surgery, I want to give up!!!
    Kennyd529 Kennyd529 51-55, M Jul 5

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    Dreams, goals, visions,

    families, love dies hard.
    Guavajelly Guavajelly 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 17

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    I am having a rough night.

    I know this separation is what is needed right now. We have done the whole counseling thing and always end up right at square one. I sit here feeling guilty that I am tearing my family apart but know that having my kids see the arguments and my unhappiness isn't healthy...
    iheartmybabies iheartmybabies 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 10

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    I've been healing well

    but lately I've been thinking about her non stop, I know it's going to take time but I feel like calling and the evil angel the other side is telling me just forget about her. It's hard to cope, I rather choose to be happy than miserable.
    BrOOklYnBaNdiT718 BrOOklYnBaNdiT718 26-30, M Jan 27

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    After 15 years, I am separating from the only

    person I ever really let inside my heart. We have been separated since the end of December 2013. I thought it might be temporary, but I know it is permanent now. The feelings of loss is almost unbearable. It is not just the loss of her; it is the loss of my extended family...
    Barelycoping325 Barelycoping325 41-45, F 7 Responses Jul 18

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    Packing and separating this week.

    Finally dawning on the kids that we will no longer be together. Hoping our counsellors are right in giving each other space. My heart feels like it's being harpooned and lit on fire. Ugh
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 2 Responses Jun 23

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    My husband of 10 years has decided he needs a

    break and is moving out for six months. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I'm looking for people to talk to that have gone through a separation and ended up back together and stronger than ever. Someone please help me get through this awful time.
    JCornell716 JCornell716 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 29

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    And It Begins...:-(

    Today is the first day of our separation. This weekend we moved him to the upstairs bedroom and it was absolutely heartbreaking to walk into my half empty bedroom (my/our it feels so foreign to talk in singulars). So much that I spend the first night on the couch. We are still in...
    heartache14 heartache14 31-35, F 6 Responses Jul 30, 2012

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    Want to talk.... Maybe going through a marriage

    seperation. And have all these emotions.
    wintergirl98 wintergirl98 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 20

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    Rebuilding, lovingly distancing.

    ..man this is the hardest and best thing that has ever happened to me. When was the last time my manhood rose to the occassion to own and deal with my fears and shortcomings head on? At what other time in my life have I finally admitted I that need help and that the old me just...
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 1 Response Jul 16

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    I miss my wife today like crazy.

    ..she's out with her friends and these three months have been too much. But she wants space so I am respecting her and giving her space...but I'd rather wrap my arms around her and have her bury herself into my chest...nothing else will do
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 6 Responses Jun 20

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    I dont want to forget what its like to have a

    family. Its week two and already my kids are getting used to the new normal...caught my four year old calling me "grampa" a bunch of times today.ughI used to get them up or put them to bed almost every night. Now its two nights I tuck them in and five days of not seeing them.I...
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 2 Responses Jul 13

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    I Never Would Have Known

    My wife and i have been together for 23 years and 2 weeks ago she broke down and asked me for a divorce. We were not talking much and sex was a thing of the past. We had drifted so far apart that anything that was said seemed to be a personal attack on her. After she told me...
    ataglance ataglance 41-45, M 6 Responses May 8, 2008

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    Married in 2010 now with a 2-year old.

    Weve been arguing for years, but lately the fights have been getting more constant and weve finally talked about separating. It saddens me ofcourse, and im worried about how my daughter's character will be affected by the separation. On the other hand i dont wana keep him in...
    mmmela mmmela 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 25

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    Have been married for 23 years.

    Happy, mostly for the majority with 2 grown kids. We are currently still under the same roof but living essentially separately for several months now. I would have stayed with him forever. I am very confused about his actions and it's impact. And no, he hasn't cheated as far...
    Ldenis Ldenis 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 12

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    Other man. Yeah I'm done.

    Plan B is now in effect. The awesome husband and dad I have been working hard on..the "new vastly improved me" stays and the next beautiful woman in my life is going to reap big time. My changes in character and heart were necessary and are bearing fruit right now with everyone...
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Am so scared of my life.

    . Everything has fallen apart. I don't have a job, I have been working for it since so many years now.. I am well qualified but I come from another country n I don't have a permit unless I find one who can sponsor me. My husband n me are going through separation and soon a...
    stuckinlife247 stuckinlife247 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 16

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    This will probably be one of the hardest

    letters I have ever written. For so long I thought I needed answers from you in order to heal. Why, after 21 years did you betray me? Why did you choose him, a relative stranger over me? Why did you refuse to work to save our marriage? Those are but a few of the hundreds of...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    11 Months Later

    You know that expression about the light at the end of the tunnel? That is me now.  Never would I have dreamed that a year ago that I would be here in a new city and starting a new life for me.  This decision to leave was not an easy one but yet I can say now that it was a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 28, 2013

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    Why Us?

    My husband of 19.5 years woke me up at 5am two weeks ago to tell me he was leaving.  We have been together for 24 years. Now, I guess the whole "how was I the last to know" situation is true here.  Less than a week before he told me he loved me.  We made...
    notready4this notready4this 41-45 67 Responses Jul 30, 2009

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    anyone else fighting

    for their marriage. so many deppressing posts here. i read divorce busting and working on yourself and changing and doing the 180 (google it) has helped tremendously. if we stop acting needy, begging, crying, pleading...so very unattractive that confident self may win back your...
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 7 Responses May 10

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    Living In The Same House With My Ex

    Our situation is a bit unique. For several reasons, we are living under the same roof, however we are living separately. This is temporary and I will be moving out in May of 2014 when my son graduates High School. For the most part we are tolerating each other. He doesn't want to...
    summerfire summerfire 46-50, F 12 Responses Jul 18, 2013

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    " I feel a great disturbance in the force---the

    great sadness in your heart" anyone know of a job with flexible hours that I can work 50hrs week between another job to save my marriage and prove to her I am the provider and husband she can trust consistently. Anyone? Ready to work my hands raw to build her a castle
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 3 Responses May 11

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    Omg!! I Cannot Believe What Just Happened!!!

    It's been 14 months now that I have been separated. I have struggled so hard to pull myself back together again and raise my little boy on my own. I have been on an emotional roller coaster for sometime now regarding my ex husband and how I felt about him there has been a large...
    Wiltingflower Wiltingflower 36-40, F 15 Responses Mar 3, 2012

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    Oh god. I just saw him

    for the first time since we broke up. We kind od bumped into each other. When he noticed me, he forced a smile on his face, said 'Hi'. I hardly looked at him. A hot pain in my chest, I was paralysed. I just wanted to press him against me. Tell him how good he looks. Tell him I...
    Sorfarina Sorfarina 26-30, F 2 Responses May 8

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    As I dropped of my son with his father

    for "his turn" to see him, he grabbed my leg and screamed "don't go, it's not Daddy's turn." I looked at my husband who had now been gone from our house for 3 months and asked him "is this how this is going to be?" He looked me and said "goodbye". My heart exploded twice, one...
    EstrangedLuv EstrangedLuv 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 1

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    What Would You Think?

    I apologize for the length of this, but it's a long story and I'm very interested in hearing some objective outside opinions,so thanks in advance for anyone who takes the trouble to read this. About 6 weeks ago the man I have been living with  in a committed 13 year...
    Rosalinne Rosalinne 36-40, F 9 Responses Nov 14, 2010

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    To Remind You What Marriage Is....

    A commitment. its success doesn't depend on circumstances, feelings, or moods - but on two people who are loyal to each other and the vows they took on their wedding day. A relationship where two people must listen, compromise, and respect. It's an arrangement that requires...
    JustMe2B JustMe2B 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 15, 2013

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    I am in a same sex marriage.

    My wife left me last week and won't speak to me, won't return my calls or texts, has blocked me and all of our mutual friends on Facebook. I have asked her via text if I should be anticipating divorce papers or if she just needs time to sort herself. No response. I am feeling...
    comradestudent comradestudent 22-25, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    After a argument through text message I came

    home from work to find my wife and kids had left. A few days later, she told me we weren't going to be husband and wife anymore. I begged and pleaded with her to work things out as we had always done. But I believe due to her mother's and stepdad's influence, she refused. After...
    Ressalg Ressalg 41-45, M 4 Responses Jul 18

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    About two months ago,

    while I was visiting my parents to cool off from my husband's behaviour for a weekend, he called me to meet him in a parking lot close to their house. I was excited because I thought that maybe he came to tell me to come or that we should talk about our ongoing 'fights' or...
    clingingforhope clingingforhope 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 3

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    Mediation

    Well mediation is done but still not dusted.  We came to an agreement in regards to our his visitation with our daughter but the finacials are a different story.  I really feel sorry for the stupid man, he's told so many lies that he actually tried to lie to me and make...
    royalhotness royalhotness 26-30, F 7 Responses Dec 9, 2010

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    How can you miss someone

    so much who treated you so badly? The negative things they have out you through should override any love and transcend into hatred. I want to hate you, you don't know how bad I wish I could. I wake with eyes crusted from tears she'd in my sleep. While awake vision blurred from...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 6 Responses Mar 28

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    I Am Going Through A Separation. I Am 53 Years Old And Ill Too.

      I am 53 and soon to be separated. My husband and I have had problems in our relationship for years. Moreover, I have been fighting cancer and depression for the last 4-5 years. In the meantime, my husband accumulated debts and it got to that point where I discovered we are...
    Aloneagainat53 Aloneagainat53 51-55, F 7 Responses Jul 1, 2012

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    After a few days of not communicating,

    we talked today. I think we have decided on marriage counseling. My hope is that we can eventually start "dating" again so we can find that reason we fell in love in the first place. We were so young and hurried into marriage after we found out I was pregnant. We had lots...
    iheartmybabies iheartmybabies 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 16

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    I Have Made Such Wonderful Friends

    everyone here is so wonderful....I write to help me. I sometimes think i write too much since i seem to be the only one posting on this thread. But I feel such a sense of release when i write. I feel better after i write. I know everyone here is wonderful and some are going...
    phoenix2011 phoenix2011 36-40, F 6 Responses Mar 12, 2011

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    He walked away to never look back,

    doesn't even keep any contact with our children. My heart breaks for these kids bc they don't understand. They just want their daddy.
    Guavajelly Guavajelly 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 10

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    After 20 years, it has come to this.

    Most of it my fault. I understand the issues that I must work on. (anger, verbal abuse.) We are in counseling, both individually and as a couple. I'm fearful that she'll want to make it permanent. We've been through a lot and now the stress level has almost disappeared for...
    querried querried 41-45, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    It has now been one year

    since my life was flipped upside down. 365 days of never ending grief. "Time heals all wounds," is what I have been told over and over. I am beginning to wonder if something is wrong with me. Why am I not getting over it? She would always say that I had lost my sensitivity...
    michael1971 michael1971 41-45, M 3 Responses May 12

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    This has been such a long road,

    and very bumpy, but I feel we've reached the end of it. We must find a new road. I don't know if that is together or not, but I feel I have to separate from him for awhile to figure it out. We have separated twice before, and things would improve for a little while, but they...
    onetimetoomany onetimetoomany 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 8

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    I met my husband whom I hav been separated from

    2 years now. I hav no hard feelings towards him, we met recently. Spent the entire weekend.. It was like 2 friends hanging out. Intention of meeting was to see if things changed n if we can rekindle the relationship. It was okay n somehow I still felt empty at the end of the day...
    stuckinlife247 stuckinlife247 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 30

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