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I Am Going to Kill Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 142 People

    forgive methank you my mother

    for giving me your life throughout my life, i am sorry i am leaving you like this, i am sorry i have become a burden to you all my life. i hope there is a heaven and i will see you there.thank you my father for having been there with me all my life, thank you for believing in me...
    solomona2003 solomona2003 31-35, M Jan 20

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    Tonight. I will walk to the train station,

    and just get it over with. I've lost everyone who ever meant something to me. I made decisions that I will regret for the rest of my life, and I can't live with myself anymore. I don't need sympathy, or attention I don't need to be talked out of it. It's the best decision...
    CadyHeron CadyHeron 18-21, F Apr 4

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    today is the day that i say goodbye.

    i've had enough and so have my friends and family. it's time that i say good bye and time for people to stop worrying or having to deal with me. good bye
    3Words4You 3Words4You 18-21 1 Response Jan 21

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    Waiting For the Answer

    I've never been one to seek attention. If the spotlight was on me I'd hastily move out of the way so I could slink back into the shadows. I've spent the last 24 years trying to be the perfect child, the one that didn't get in trouble, the one that listened the one who did the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 5, 2009

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    Not Just Yet.

    Like ArmyWifeUk, I'm not going to do it now. Nor any time in the forseeable future. But I just like the comfort of knowing I have complete control over when and how I die. I support voluntary euthanasia, and I hope that when my time comes, I'll be able to let myself go without...
    insides insides 16-18, F Nov 20, 2007

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    Soon..

    Yesterday sealed the deal. My decision is set.. The day is coming closer and closer. And the truth is, I'm not afraid anymore.
    Amay408 Amay408 18-21, F Oct 29, 2012

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    Why Bother Fighting

    Hi everyone... I have been fighting suicide since I was 6... I'm now 16... I don't wanna keep fighting... I keep telling mysepf it'll get better, but guess what? It gets worse! The pain gets more and more intense untip I SCREAM!!! I'm haunted by my scars, trips to the mental...
    galviall galviall 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 1, 2013

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    Actually I Am Not Worth It

    You know, I often times wonder about people. So many people out there tell me that I need to go out there and try to change and fix myself. Then I am stuck with the realization that it is all a matter or perception. I mean, why am I the one who is broken? So many people like to...
    ForgottenMale ForgottenMale 26-30, M 7 Responses Mar 1, 2012

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    Do Not Kill Yourself For Any Reason

    Do not kill yourself for any reason. You may be thinking to yourself, " I am going to kill myself," or "I am going to commit suicide." I would not recommend it. I was having a ****** day today, I was really bored, sitting at home, my partner was ignoring me...
    dontdoit dontdoit 21-25 Mar 19, 2008

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    Work

    Well I am finding that what TurbulentDiffusion said about work to be rather accurate. Here I push through my days and working two jobs I have little down time, hence I don't have time to kill myself although the thoughts are always there. I was thinking that at the interview I...
    mljenkins mljenkins 41-45, F Feb 19, 2013

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    Um...

    Then there are all of the failed suicides where people just end up brain damaged human vegetables... proving once again that even suicide is not %100 in your hands. Every human action is prone to mistakes, chance, and unforeseen circumstances. Best case scenario, you end up in...
    Yoshimine Yoshimine 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 21, 2007

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    Going to Kill Myslef

    have lived with depression, anxiety and all so have a learning and spelling disability  rest of my life I'm 45 years old and had it I'm going to kill myself been waiting do die for years I want to die every day. my life sucks i hate my life
    hopetodie hopetodie 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 1, 2009

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    Evades, Evading, Evasion

    I look around and and everyone I know is evading in one form or another. I like to think I am grounded in reality and I think about things realistically which may sound ****** up because I really just want to die most of the time. I try to commit suicide and eventually come...
    mljenkins mljenkins 41-45, F Feb 9, 2013

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    From Contemplating To Going To

    Today I changed my view on killing myself. Originally I was just considering suicide as an option. From this point forward I am making it an inevitiblity. It is no longer a question of... hmm what is a word for this?.. eh it is a matter of when from this point on. I am going to...
    ForgottenMale ForgottenMale 26-30, M 9 Responses Aug 8, 2010

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    The End Of Augusta

    I have decided that on the date of 5/16/13 I will kill myself if I am unable to find my Billy by then. If he refuses to come back to me I will end it all. I can not go on living a life full of sadness anymore. My life is unremarkable, nothing really interesting about it nor is it...
    imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 26, 2013

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    Do Not Kill Yourself For Any Reason

    Do not kill yourself for any reason. You may be thinking to yourself, " I am going to kill myself," or "I am going to commit suicide." I would not recommend it. I was having a ****** day today, I was really bored, sitting at home, my partner was ignoring me...
    dontdoit dontdoit 21-25 1 Response Mar 19, 2008

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    Why Am I Still Here?

    Why am I here? I am so miserable. I have never been happy and at 34 my life is even worse. I know that I am above the average age to commit suicide but what the hell can I do? I am married and have no doubt that my wife would be better off without me. She could get a better man...
    msudawgsfan msudawgsfan 31-35 12 Responses Feb 13, 2008

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    I Really Have No Reason To Live..

    I know "I've got so much of my life to live." But ever since I was 13 I've battled with depression and self-harm and I've just lost the will. I'm over-weight, I'm ugly, my parents hate me, **** it, my whole family hates me. My friends don't even give a ****. I don...
    lostinwonderland lostinwonderland 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 11, 2009

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    1 Month

    I am done with all this crap. Life is not worth living. I have tried and tried and you know what? Im done. Things are getting better financialy but im still not happy and I dont think I ever will be. So I will save money for 1 month, buy me a .45 and just put that ***** to my...
    Krie Krie 22-25, M May 5, 2013

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    This Time It Will Work

    I have a plan. This time it will work. No more cutting, it's just making my skin ugly. Hanging hurts to much and it takes too long. I drank enough to take down two 200lb. men and I wake up with no hangover. Enough is enough with this. Soon, soon I will fall asleep, a deep sleep...
    2young4marriage 2young4marriage 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 13, 2013

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    Death By Anaphylaxis

    Suicide By Severe Allergic Reaction Two days ago i came home ready to end my life I took pills I knew I was allergic to I laid down in my bed and waited for the effects to start Just as I began to feel the burning throughout my body just under the skin I freaked out and didnt...
    mljenkins mljenkins 41-45, F Feb 5, 2013

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    Someone Help My Kids I Can't Anymore

    tell my kids i'm sorry.  i already tried.  left updated last will and testament in house.  e-mailed my work addy where to find it.   life ins. beneficiary change doc on my desk at work.  help my kids find it.  stupid i know to seem so...
    theend3102009 theend3102009 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 12, 2009

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    Only If I Wind Up With Something Incurable

    It won't be now, or any time soon, but if I ever find out that I have horrible disease that is disabling, I fully plan on committing seppuku, with my best fiend acting as second. I would rather be dead then have the mind of a two year old, or **** in diapers because I have no...
    Satsujinkyou Satsujinkyou 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 16, 2008

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    Will Vodka And Over The Counter Sleeping Pills Work?

    I'm straight-edge so I have zero alcohol tolerance, but would over the counter sleeping pills help or not? I can probably get a prescription for something from my psychopharm, but I'd rather not have to wait that long.
    missyfin missyfin 26-30, F Dec 20, 2011

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    A Long Path Of Bad Choices

    I have recently left my house. I had to leave my daughter behind because I want her to have a house. I am so depressed now that I can't even think straight. My family keeps saying that she is doing so well without me there. She was the only reason I haven't yet killed myself. I...
    hellpuddle hellpuddle 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

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    It's going to be this year.

    I've finally come to terms with myself and that it's going to happen. I've started to distance myself from friends and family. My mother wants me to get help, but I can't see it doing much. Therapy never did much for me in the past. I kind of just want it to be over. 19. Not...
    Twon Twon 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 16

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    Sooner Or Later

    I want to right now, but I wont cause its a rather large investment. Wanna check the mileage and ****, right? It is rather apparent to me that Im not wanted in this world. I am the lonliest person ever and more so for a lot of ****** up reasons. Im ****** up...
    rpyromaniac rpyromaniac 22-25, M 4 Responses Apr 10, 2009

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    Within The Next Week..

    I've already begun planning. I'm not going to screw this up, I know exactly what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it. I had it planned once before, but something changed and I didn't go through with it. But now, I'm ready. It's just a matter of waiting for the time...
    Amay408 Amay408 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    24 Hours

    So...I'm about 24 hours away from ending this. I wish I could have an amazing last day on earth, but the truth is I don't know what I'd do.
    thetruth86 thetruth86 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 15, 2013

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    Happening Next Week

    I am not religious, and I believe it is my choice how and when I die. I have always considered suicide, but having just found out I have a degenerative eye condition and I am going blind, there is really no other choice for me. I can no longer socialize, I will never get a job...
    acerdo acerdo 22-25, F Jul 20, 2013

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    Do Not Kill Yourself For Any Reason

    Do not kill yourself for any reason. You may be thinking to yourself, " I am going to kill myself," or "I am going to commit suicide." I would not recommend it. I was having a ****** day today, I was really bored, sitting at home, my partner was ignoring me...
    dontdoit dontdoit 21-25 Mar 19, 2008

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    Idk if I'm really doing this

    for sure or not but in reality I just had it I'm sick of this life and I believe that there is another life after this 1 this is my story. I'm a 18 148 pound girl I'm not pretty or anything like that I fell like my mom and my sister are ganging up on me just because I love anime...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 1

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    I Reached Out For Help An Was Laughted At...

    I reached out for help an all I got was laughted at, told to quit being so self centered an made fun of... When someone opens up an shares such a horrible thought the LAST thing I/anyone needs to to be made to feel even worse then I already do!! It just reminded me just how...
    the1noonelikes the1noonelikes 51-55, F Oct 2, 2013

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    i feel like there are walls around me.

    And these walls.are pushing at me from all sides. I feel as if im suffocating. I cannot find the will to live anymore. I am going to kill myself
    markless markless 18-21, F Jun 2

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    Life is painful. The past year I've been

    thinking about killing myself, just to get away. But the past few months, I've been thinking about it daily. I hate my job. I can't find another one. I tried to pick up a couple classes at the local college, but I'm not allowed to register even though I paid them ALL the money I...
    Aberzhulan Aberzhulan 22-25, M Jun 28

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    Whats The Big Deal

    I have these thoughts about suicide now, I don't see what is the big deal about it. Some people live there whole life and they are miserable, they think about death all the time and literally cannot wait to die. Is it healthy? Guess that depends on your interpretation of what...
    mljenkins mljenkins 41-45, F Feb 7, 2013

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    Tired Of The Pain

    I don't know when and I don't know if ill even succeed but I'm tired of hurting like this tired of feeling pain so intensely that my chest aches and I lose all hope of feeling better i just want it to stop
    yourfaceisyourface yourfaceisyourface 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 25, 2013

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    Ive tried soo many times

    and it hasn't worked. I was wondering whether anyone had a sure way of ending it all. Am willing to make a suicde pact as well if anyone's interested.
    april8788 april8788 26-30, F Jan 19

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    I Think This Was How It Was Always Supposed To End.

    I tried killing myself with an overdose when I was fifteen, the night I tried to come out to my parents about being trans.  My biggest regret, more than not being able to move out or get a job, is that I didn't die that night.  Whatever pain or fear I would have felt...
    ImNothingReally ImNothingReally 26-30, T 4 Responses Dec 2, 2010

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    I'm going to kill myself soon,

    no one knows are even really suspects. It's going to be this weekend, the weird part is I'm not even in that really bad place I usually get to, it's just I know this is the way it has to be. My first suicidal thought was when I was 7 yrs. old, I've been on so many...
    ashleyh27 ashleyh27 26-30, F 8 Responses Jan 28

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    Why Can't I Do It?

    I sit here at 1:23 in the morning, feeling nothing be negativity. My future I only seem misery, loneliness, and worst of all sexlessness. I look around my apartment. I can name off all the ways I could off myself. I look in the kitchen and see my cooking knives. I could draw...
    ForgottenMale ForgottenMale 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 6, 2010

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    I Hate Myself!!!!!!

      I’m tired of living a life of painful loneliness. What is the point? I have lived with depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsiveness all my life and have never been apart of this world.   I have tried committing suicide twice in my life. The...
    jaayyee jaayyee 36-40 Jun 13, 2008

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    Idk if I'm really doing this

    for sure or not but in reality I just had it I'm sick of this life and I believe that there is another life after this 1 this is my story. I'm a 18 148 pound girl I'm not pretty or anything like that I fell like my mom and my sister are ganging up on me just because I love anime...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 1

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    I'm Scared I'm Going To Take My Cats With Me

    I want to use gas to kill myself, but I don't want it to hurt anyone else. Would keeping the windows open be enough or should I make sure to do it in a solitary place and leave my beloved cats behind? I want them with me when I go, but not if it's going to hurt them.
    missyfin missyfin 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2011

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    My Life Is Fine. I Just Hate Society

    Hi. i'll try to keep this fairly simple. My name is Evan, i'm 15 and live in a ****** small town in California. after i decided to kill myself, every single person and thing i encountered just reaffirmed my goal of dying. There isn't 1 person in my life who i feel is actually...
    LiveHuman LiveHuman 18-21 1 Response Jan 5, 2013

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    The World Will Be A Much Better Place Without Me

    I hate it. I'm tired of dealing with these non-stop problems day after day after day... struggling to make things better, but nothing works. I'm getting kicked out of my house in about 4 months and have no job and no friends or family to live with and nowhere to go, so I may as...
    DatAlgorithm DatAlgorithm 22-25, M Sep 27, 2012

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    Idk if I'm really doing this

    for sure or not but in reality I just had it I'm sick of this life and I believe that there is another life after this 1 this is my story. I'm a 18 148 pound girl I'm not pretty or anything like that I fell like my mom and my sister are ganging up on me just because I love anime...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 1

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    Not Now

    I know I'm not going to do it right now, I just think that that is the way my life will end. I have made loads of attempts, though obviously not great ones! It doesn't worry me like it used to, it doesn't bother me. We all got to go sometime anyway and I can think of worse ways...
    AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 40 Responses Nov 20, 2007

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    I'm Not Going To Say When & I'm Not Going To Say How

    I'm getting more & more bitter by the day. This year has been horrible. I've completely broken apart like I never have before & honestly, I'm bored & very disappointed with life. I'm not getting anything out of it. It feels like a jail sentence. The truth is, I cannot wait...
    deadmoon deadmoon 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 7, 2011

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    Tried Till Im Blue In The Face

    Im out of here friday.Ive said this a time or twoagain.But i truly believe this will work out.It has to as it almost worked out before.Im just tired so tired of my chaotic famliy life.Sitting around hoping it will fix itself wont do any good.No its just going to get worse. Thats...
    Passionfruit3 Passionfruit3 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 26, 2013

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    Probably

    i'm FAR too narcissistic to let myself be felled to another. i can't find work, i have so little friends now, i am a leech. leeches, like all parasites should be killed. its been years since i've known another's touch. aside of course from the half-hearted hugs of family members...
    nephandai nephandai 26-30, M Sep 23, 2011

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    One Of These Days

    I am 16 and I have hated my life since I was 11. Nobody likes me. I am nice a bit shy I like almost everyone. But without fail I am the third fourth fifth etc wheel and I'm always left out. Guys don't like me my own damn dad doesn't even like me. He cuts me down for everything I...
    Canidie000 Canidie000 22-25, F Jul 2, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    First time I tried killing myself was when I was 16. I had been groomed and abused by a lot of guys. even raped. but I dident understand as I was involved with that circle of life...
    Kelly1012 Kelly1012 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 10

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