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I Am Happy On the Outside But Dying Inside

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 795 People

    I tell people that im happy

    and im fine...but truthfully im dying on the inside. Sometimes I feel like I jst wanna jump off a bridge or summat, sometimes I jst cant take it anymore....people can only see what I let them see...they don't see the pain and heartbreak I am going through on the inside. Im dying...
    Louisaxxx Louisaxxx 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 31

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    Am told we are all dying

    so i aint too worried.
    converted converted 46-50, M Feb 25

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    I would to hear some of your experiences

    and why you feel this way.
    sashakimi3 sashakimi3 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 25

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    Sad

    I come to this world alone I might leave this world alone too So.. Who am I to say I deserve your love because “I Love You” Do I adore my life..?? Because there are so many things to see and experience Do I hate my life…?? Because it’s bound to end...
    catcs catcs 36-40, F 4 Responses Nov 16, 2010

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    I Hate My Life

    im one of many that suffer from depression and i swear to you i know how it feels. im still suffering it today and thats why i write all these things. i know im not the only one out there that feels this way, at least i hope im not. please don't take them and call them your...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Apr 13, 2010

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    Consuming

    i am happy to those who refuse to see to the ones who barely ever knew me people will promise the sun & the sky but the same * ones will watch you die my fault i guess i pick my poison well stuck in "happiness" that only i compel i can't stop my own sick, twisted...
    EchoesInTwistedMeadows EchoesInTwistedMeadows 22-25 1 Response Mar 13, 2012

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    My Life Has Become A Joke

    last to years was period of shocks.. i am the only son to my parents. they loved me so  much and same was from me . but 1 day i got to know truth it was i m adopted son to my parents . i was an oprhan and this family adopted me wen i was 3 yrs old. now i am 20 years old.this was...
    rohitlatu rohitlatu 18-21, M 2 Responses May 5, 2011

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    The Walls I Put Up

    My life is great. I'm popular, I have lots of friends, I have a nice boyfriend, ask anyone and they'll say I'm pretty, happy, outgoing, funny, flirty, and energetic. But the truth is I'm miserable, I lost interest in my boyfriend a while ago and I can't bring myself to tell him...
    Izzi11 Izzi11 13-15 4 Responses Feb 28, 2012

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    Last Year

    last year i went to a new school. i was shy because i didn't know any one i made a few friends not many because i am awkward and tall. this guy started talking to me and he asked me out my friends pushed me to say yes so i did. i didnt like him though so i completely avoided him...
    123me321 123me321 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 24, 2012

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    "I'm Just Tired"--It's The Stupiest Lie

    "The girl who smiles and laughs with her friends, is really the girl who is dying inside." I cover myself up with this opposing masquerade of emotions to hide what I'm truly leaving concealed. I'm not that open book you can read on an everyday basis, I'm more like the hidden...
    TurnThePaige TurnThePaige 18-21, F Aug 22, 2011

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    I guess my smile is just a cover up.

    For something much deeper.
    princecold princecold 16-17, M 2 Responses Jun 12

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    That Is How I Feel...

    I honestly feel like I am dying on the inside. I am suffering through some very painful heartache, and pain. It is not easy to deal with at all. However, I put on a smile, and assure everyone that I am going to be okay, so no one worries. I do this, not because I want to, but...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jul 23, 2009

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    Chill Is My Title

    I'm happy on the outside but dying on the inside is partially correct. I wouldn't say I'm dying, but more like I'm hurting. Life is never easy, and I feel like it only gets harder everyday. So much has happened to me these past couple of years. I'm always smiling and saying I'm...
    HopeInConstruction HopeInConstruction 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 8, 2010

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    It Hurts

    Basically nearly every day there is some sort od pain in my stomach.. and sometimes in my chest. I don't really understand it anymore.. it's like this feeling of loneliness and emptiness that won't go away. It's always there sometimes it's just faint and sometimes I get really...
    BrokenAngelWishes BrokenAngelWishes 18-21, F 15 Responses Dec 16, 2009

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    Another day to pretend.

    .to keep my head held high..to smile..to cover the pain..to forget..i wish I could just stop from hurting..from dying...
    babslabs babslabs 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 2

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    Nobody Knows

    All my life I have been good at hiding my feelings. I show everyone that I am happy and my life is good. I feel that if others see how things really are then I have failed. I have been married to my husband for some time now and at first things were good. He was so sweet and...
    Lizzy769 Lizzy769 31-35 1 Response Jul 23, 2009

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    I'm A Happy, Positive Person On The Outside, But On The Inside I Feel Afraid.

    I know my friends say I'm a really nice person who cares deeply about his friends, but in reality I'm afraid. I feel I might not ever be in a relationship. I feel I might never know how to start a conversation or end it without mixing up words or saying things that don't make...
    teenybopper36 teenybopper36 13-15, M 2 Responses Oct 31, 2012

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    Lies

    My whole life I have been lied too. I never had anywhere to go because I couldn't trust anyone near me, so I did what I do best, run. Run very far and for a long time. The last time i saw anyone I knew i was 13 and that was 4 years ago... they never found me for i am well hidden...
    livelikeimgone livelikeimgone 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 15, 2010

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    Don't Know Where To Start

    I don't know what to write. I don't know why I feel the way I do or why I've felt this way for so many years. Writing used to come really easy to me because I always thought I had it all figured out why I felt this way. I could blame it on many things but truth is no matter what...
    gatorgirl013 gatorgirl013 36-40, F 5 Responses Mar 12, 2012

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    You Think You Should Be Depressed

    Your taking your life for granted, nothing should get you depressed unless you have something u curable and are actually not able to do anything about it. I have narcolepsy and some times i get depressed, but when you have something you cant control; you look at other people and...
    HungTrinh HungTrinh 18-21, M Oct 16, 2012

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    It's Just A Mask

    There are many times that I am sitting with my husband and friends at the bar, laughing and looking like I am having a good time, but deep inside, my heart and soul are crying and no one knows it but me.
    silentwriter180 silentwriter180 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 5, 2012

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    Shed Your Tears

    Hide everything behind a Smile, Don't let anyone know about your fears, Walk a hundred miles, Shed all your tears. Let all your feelings out, Don't worry, no ones near, Say your deepest secrets, don't worry, no one can hear.
    Karma777 Karma777 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 2, 2012

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    lostguest lostguest 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 16

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    I Dont Know What To Do

    Hi..I dont really now were to start,but I really feel like doing this.This all begun this year, in April.Everything started because of a simple boy.He came in my life last year and since then he was kind of allways on my back...On that month we had a large fight on the celphone...
    StarBanana StarBanana 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    The Routine

    Square Your Shoulders Stand Up Straight Smile Wide & Laugh On Cue Forget The Tears Ignore The Pain We'll Pretend We're Okay. On and On From Day to Day. 
    Typeofmyworld Typeofmyworld 18-21, F 1 Response May 6, 2012

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    I Am Happy On The Outside But Dying Inside

    I always have a feeling, It dosen't matter where I am or who I'm with, But it alway's seems to be there, I could be laughing and joking, or drinking, with friend's, It seem to matter where I am or what I'm doing, Sometime's It can consume me, but I always try to hide it, I don't...
    BluesRock BluesRock 26-30, M Jul 8, 2012

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    Leave Me Alone

    They say they hate me. They call me queer. They think I'm a freak. They're sending me away. And I wonder is this how family is supposed to be. Am I supposed to cry at night? Am I supposed to hate myself? Am I supposed to hate them? Just Leave Me alone in my world of misery.  I...
    Typeofmyworld Typeofmyworld 18-21, F May 6, 2012

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    My Life Isn't As Perfect As You All Think It Is.

    everyone thinks my life is what they call 'perfect' they think what shows on the outside is what you really are, i think the thing is that they never realise whats going on inside you. everyone says my life is 'perfect' when truth is its terrible, i grew up getting bullied...
    nothingsimpossible nothingsimpossible 13-15 1 Response Jun 8, 2011

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    Bottling It All Up

    when i lash out i always end up being the one who ends up worse off. if i shut the **** up and stay silent every thing is cool T_T some peopple dont ******* understand ! when you have so many people counting on you i find it hard to find people to rely on my self to get rid of...
    MiskaMaskedOne MiskaMaskedOne 18-21 1 Response Jun 15, 2013

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    My Life 2

    Hey everyone its Imfakingit again but i lost my old account so i have to use this one. Anyway im here to update. I realized that so far im right my life isn't getting much better. Something that makes me really mad is that the "friends" that i made when my mom died the ones that...
    Imfakingit1 Imfakingit1 13-15, F May 14, 2012

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    Tired Of Fighting

    Everyday i go through my paces hoping that things would get better and each time it seems to get worse. My father left us when I was 11, so I'm old enough but yet to young to be worried about money. I'm now 16 and things have gotten so hard to the point that I dont know what I'll...
    NoStrengthLeft NoStrengthLeft 16-17, F Oct 10, 2012

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    Fake Facade

    all the time...I feel weak and hopeless and that im a burden to everyone i meet...I believe bad things will happen to people if people meet me...they wouldnt understand me so they would flee...I am too much of a burden to everyone so i put on a fake smile and make people believe...
    PorcelainChinaDoll PorcelainChinaDoll 16-17, F 5 Responses Aug 16, 2009

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    No Other Options

    If you were to ask any of the people close to me, they'd say I was a happy, talkative guy. But that's wrong, wrong in every sense of the word. I'm horribly depressed, paranoid, terrified, possibly mentally ill, I've considered suicide several times before, even coming close to...
    kikon9 kikon9 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    You Took My Nightmares And Made Them Reality.

    The way you got a hold of me I can't breath. my body wants to badly to scream but not a sound comes from me. You got me in a trap that now the rest of my life I can't be free. You took my nightmares and made them become a reality.
    Karma777 Karma777 16-17, F Nov 9, 2012

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    Is There Anyone There?

    Ever since the 7th grade I've been battling depression. How do I know? Not many 12 years old wants to kill themselves. I've tried to tell people. I remember yelling to my parents threw my tears, "I want to fucken kill myself!" but they acted like it never happened. They never...
    NightSeeing NightSeeing 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 3, 2013

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    My Life

    Im 13 years old and so far I feel like my life pretty much sucks. When I was little I was bullied all the time and I developed some major trust issues causing me to not trust anyone with big things. Then I had to move to a different state. After the move my dad was flying in and...
    Imfakingit Imfakingit 13-15 2 Responses Feb 20, 2012

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    I act like I'm happy

    but I'm not I feel like I'm dying inside. I act happy so people won't bother me but I'm dying on the inside, my parents ruined my childhood and now the whole worlds ruining me piece by piece I can't take it anymore!
    Kirakat14 Kirakat14 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 3

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    My soul drained my spirit broken I sit alone in

    the dark of night my sanity sleeping away your memory crushing me unforgiving and relentless these emotions won't let go I cry for help I cry out in pain I cry out in sorrow my mind racing sanity slipping further and further away a gash on the wrist bleeding out the heart...
    tatterdremains tatterdremains 13-15, M 2 Responses Apr 2

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    You Might Think I'm Happy, But I'm Not Gonna Be Okay

    I've been hiding my feelings as long as I can remember. There are only a few people who know about all the pain I deal with every day. Most people see me smiling, and think I'm as happy as I appear to be. I wish I was. I've been cutting myself for about 3 months now and not one...
    xxitwaswritteninblood xxitwaswritteninblood 13-15, F Sep 18, 2010

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    Diffrent In Inside

    I always seems the happiest person in the world. Noone can realise about my inside because I always cover it with laughter & craziness. whenever am alone i start to think about my weeknesses, lonliness, many problems....... & I felt like crying out aload. I struggle it to find my...
    gagagirl gagagirl 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 8, 2012

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    I pretend to be happy

    and hide my sadness with fake laughs, damn I'm so good at faking laughs I'm actually dying. The reason I fake laughs and pretend to be happy because people feed on others sadness they feel powerful when they see me sad. 1% will care and 99% are just curious and nosy, so the best...
    Sherein Sherein 16-17, F Jan 27

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    Happy Today But Dying Inside

    Hi friends, Today I got my visa, to fly abroad for my masters. I had struggled a lot since i graduated in 2009. I had worked terribly. Faced immense and harsh difficulties to get what I wanted. In my days of hardship, I never gave up. I was as rigid as a wall and finally i am...
    stupid1006 stupid1006 26-30, M 2 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    Lingering

    It still happens on a nightly/daily basis.I cant see how it will ever go away. When i think about it it still torments me and i cant sleep.I miss her more than anything ive ever known.The pain Has made me a certain way and changed me forever. 26/8/12 Seemingly i want to write...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Aug 5, 2012

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    Just Crying

      Just crying I Am Happy On the Outside But Dying Inside is perfect one. My marriage is after 3 days.still I am not happy to live. I Love crying rather than loving someone. I like to cry in a bed in mid night when entire world is sleeping. so nobody can see my tears. I...
    chandreshh chandreshh 26-30 Dec 27, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    My heart may be beating, But my soul is dying. I am to broken to be fixed, everyone who tries gets cut on my broken heart. I keep finding myself sitting up at night crying...
    SaphiraJane SaphiraJane 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 6

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    Today is z first day i did not call you n hear your voice, I feel like am dying off. I wish I get back to the old times when we used to talk n laugh out loud . I do not know how to...
    Alicedreams Alicedreams 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 20

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    I get depressed a lot, and I've learned to just accept the fact that I'm going to be depressed. It still takes it's toll on me, though, and it can get quite painful. It started as...
    Tsalokath Tsalokath 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    I am one of the sweetest most caring individuals u could hope to meet. I love to make people laugh and feel better. In turn, it does the same for me. But the truth is I'm a mess. I...
    Amginn Amginn 36-40 Jul 15

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    I don't know why everything goes wrong!!! In the beginning of this year my math teacher was the best he was teaching us perfectly, waiting in the class at lunch time If any student...
    nona000 nona000 16-17, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Lately I've been feeling vulnerable but now I understand why. Basically this illness left me feeling stupid, weak and incredibly slow. It took my two years to be able to write even...
    HigherCalling HigherCalling 22-25, F Jul 4

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    Lately I've been feeling vulnerable but now I understand why. Basically this illness left me feeling stupid, weak and incredibly slow. It took my two years to be able to write even...
    HigherCalling HigherCalling 22-25, F Jul 4

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    inside, i am very beautiful and i am sure you will never find a good person like me ;) I always think how lucky would be that girl who would be my partner in future ^__^
    mahdiraza mahdiraza 16-17, M 5 days ago

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