I Am Hiv Positive Gay Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 150 People

    BBbrownnn BBbrownnn
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

    And here I am... Scared.

    .. After 19 months on HAART treatment. Don't know why but I feel like crying. I hate not to have control over this ****, but to take my meds. I don't know what to expect if I should expect anything. Also the day is cloudy. I call them "ugly grey days" I was so sleepy and tired...
    Pather2013 Pather2013
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Apr 23, 2015

    I had a great lunch with my spouse at a nice

    restaurant but I still feel miserable. Disgusted of my body and my skin, afraid of what people may think or say about my scars and woulds. I guess nobody will understand how I feel, but it's awful. Maybe I will opt not choose life and stop the pain.
    Pather2013 Pather2013
    46-50, M
    1 Response Sep 7, 2015

    Anyone from India? I would be interested to

    talk to someone though others are welcome too afterall we all are a part of one family of this virtual world
    lifology lifology
    26-30, M
    Feb 17, 2016

    what could be worst. Anyway I was struggling

    with my sexuality and now I am Hiv positive. I do get sexual urges but my guilt and conscience doesn't let me. I feel lonely so where inside
    lifology lifology
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Dec 28, 2015

    Day Zero. After finally getting

    that scholarship approved, one of the last things to send to the guys in Korea was the medical report. Piece of cake, found a doctor next to the office & will get all those test results this week. Remember saying to myself, man cant wait for this new adventure to begin.. Boy...
    Daniel0340 Daniel0340
    2 Responses Sep 4, 2015

    Hiv+ And I'm Scared...

    I found out I was HIV+ this morning. When my doctor called me, I figured it was just to let me know my results were in for the std test that I got a week before and also treated for. I could tell immediately that it was not good. Once I found out, my knees grew week and I went...
    Mickies09 Mickies09
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Sep 28, 2013

    My life totally changed in three weeks.

    .. From being perfectly normal, to learn I have HIV with a CD4 of 180... What a twist! But I love my life and everything around me... Everything will get better, I know it will :) I start my medications today at night... I hope I don't get so many side effects!!! :)
    fusionconfusion fusionconfusion
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Mar 5, 2014

    I have an HIV+ bf and I'd like to know what

    will he possibly experience in the coming months/years. As of now I'm HIV negative and I want to give him all the support I can. He doesn't need it though as he is incredibly strong emotionally. Just want to know what we can experience in the future while he has HIV. Like at an...
    daroq daroq
    22-25, M
    1 Response Aug 27, 2015

    When I was diagnosed with HIV my cd4 count was

    124. I didn't have any idea that it is already considered AIDS after researching the Internet. I am now worried how I'm gonna go with my life, what about my family ( consolation is I'm single). I just started ARV therapy this week. How long dyou think I'll live?
    blue055 blue055
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jun 12, 2015

    Need To Release My Love Without Quilt , Thanks Jeff For Being In The Right Place For Us Oxox I Miss Your Voice But Remember Your Laugh

    I am coming up on my 23rd yr of being told that I was HIV positive My partner at the time also got his results an hour after me , I thought he may have been but was already in love with him so I made the decision to stick it out . I thought I was not because I had tested year...
    aquawave aquawave
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Sep 25, 2011

    wow,,,, I am so happy finally

    after 5 months of medication I get very good news....my cd count which had gone down to 230 last time FINALLY went up to 350 within just a month( to be honest I was taking some supplements also, so maybe they helped too)and my viral load is now down to just 20 wow im so happy...
    paulcor paulcor
    1 Response Jan 15, 2015

    So I found out that I am positive in the month

    of August, 2015. I was scared to death, was full.of guilt, self loathing and don't know whom to confide. So, the very next day, my doctor cousin who is 10yrs older to me came for lunch and out of paranoia and guilt I told him that I am Hiv + and made up a story of how I got this...
    lifology lifology
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Dec 23, 2015

    It's almost 5 months

    since I was diagnosed positive. It was in August of 2013 that my life really changed. Until now now, my family still dont know my status. Only 2 of my closest friends know about it. I got itchy skin rashes. My CD4 count was 21. I guess I am doomed. I wanna go somewhere far...
    IamAugust IamAugust
    31-35, M
    9 Responses Jan 3, 2014

    I'm afraid. Even though I haven't been sick ever

    since I was diagnosed September 12th, 2013. Neither before, more than a cold or bronchitis. I feel I'm dying. I have a hunch that I will dye soon. That saddens me a lot. I'm married to an angel that has taken care of me dearly. He is the best man I've ever met. Got a cat and a...
    Pather2013 Pather2013
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Aug 30, 2015

    I find a new dating site

    for poz.It looks pretty good.Pozoq.com
    pozoq pozoq
    22-25, M
    1 Response Oct 25, 2014


    UPDATE Back in May 2014, I shared the story of how I met Eric on EP and how we fell in love with one another. When I wrote that story it had been about a month since he had moved down from New York to be with me in Florida...a month since we had seen each other in person for...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69
    51-55, M
    4 Responses Jan 7, 2015

    I'm at home and I'm as nervous

    if I were at the doctor's clinic. I going to see if my results are already in my file or not. I don't like this type of things. Oh God, please I need better numbers on my HIV.
    Pather2013 Pather2013
    46-50, M
    2 Responses May 3, 2015

    I'm getting thinner which make me quite worried.

    do u guys face the same problem?
    sunkist87 sunkist87
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Aug 27, 2015

    HIV Positive does not mean “Dirty” All

    over hook-up websites, gay men portraying themselves as HIV Negative refer to themselves as “being clean”. This is also true on TV shows and in gay romance novels (one of my guilty pleasures). The fact is that this is true to our gay “culture”. Results coming back as...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Jul 21, 2014

    22 Year Old Guy With The HIV Positive

    Hi, everyone! I found out I am Hiv positive 4 months ago and right now I am in a relationship with someone, we fell for each other. I am so afraid of letting him know that I am hiv positive but we're never had sex! I am so stress right now!
    purenessly purenessly
    26-30, M
    4 Responses Nov 9, 2013

    Hi all mate , I'm 27 yo ,

    gay male ,from Malaysia ,just knew I m hiv+ two mnt ago .. I'm very emotional ppl , my mood kept up n down everyday , night time when sleep I will awake n feeling how sadness . I'm very scared about it.
    workvyou2 workvyou2
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jun 19, 2014

    Good news. Diagnosed in Aug 2015.

    After 2 months of Triumeq, my viral load went from 36,000 to 113.
    JCole2015 JCole2015
    36-40, M
    Nov 15, 2015

    I went to the company's family annual Picnic

    and I felt I had nothing to do there. Even coworkers and one or two friends from office didn't pay much attention. Now I feel sad, down, etc. I feel I don't belong anywhere.
    Pather2013 Pather2013
    46-50, M
    Oct 10, 2015

    Hi im brett 26 yrs old asian guy,

    just move here in san diego.I was diagnose hiv+ last june 2015.I hope i could find friends in this app especially here in san diego.God Bless us all :)
    asianbrett asianbrett
    26-30, M
    1 Response Aug 13, 2015

    I just feel like I need someone

    who I can to. On a personal level.
    jay4ever2015 jay4ever2015
    22-25, M
    1 Response Aug 19, 2015

    HIV positive I don't know

    where to begin. I am writing this with so much going on in my head, it is painful. I am a 18 years old from Indonesia. Back in August, I had an unprotected sex with someone. Stupid me, I never paid any attention to what people told me about how dangerous unprotected sex is. I...
    hiv95 hiv95
    22-25, M
    4 Responses Dec 17, 2013


    ! The last story I had shared was one in which I had posed a question…at what point in a relationship does sex become secondary? That was back in October. I had been in a relationship since the previous May with a kind hearted man who was good to me. I had originally been...
    Ralphsnt69 Ralphsnt69
    51-55, M
    1 Response May 2, 2014

    I Am Human!

    Once upon a time I was Negative but now I find myself as much a human as the rest of humanity. It has a way to reminding us that we are less than God. He designed us to enjoy the full spectrum of our humanity. I am more alive than ever and I thank God for my human experience...
    ajphilli ajphilli
    Feb 24, 2012

    I Am Hiv Positive Gay Man

    Early January of 1987, just after the holidays, I was 31 years old, completely single and very “active”. I got a letter from the American Red Cross. Although I was perfectly healthy, I knew what it was. I gave blood yearly at my place of employment. Why else would the Red...
    pastol pastol
    4 Responses Jan 16, 2011

    I was diagnosed 8 months ago

    and have began treatment but i am not taking good care of myself. I smoke too much to help me escape my fears, i avoid getting tests done, im not coping very well. I dont know anyone with HIV so i dont have anyone to ask for help. Im very scared that men will reject me for my...
    Greatredbeard Greatredbeard
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jun 24, 2015

    Well I am coming up on my one year anniversary.

    I am non detectable. when does this pain and confusion stop? I have a partner who supports me my parents support me emotionally. it feels like yesterday when I was given this news. I was so stupid to allow myself to be placed in the situation that led to this. does it ever...
    apratt1023 apratt1023
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Sep 16, 2015

    Today mark the one year

    after I am diagnosed with HIV. I was tested in a private anonymous clinic, Dr Tan and Partners at Robertson Walk. After receiving my results, I requested the doctor to did one more test again. I was confused and in disbelieve. He did a swap and it tuns out positive. My...
    raltegravir raltegravir
    31-35, M
    Mar 30, 2015

    Wishing To Keep In Touch With Other Gays With HIV

    I have been HIV positive for 2 years now. Its a journey but wish to get some contacts so we can support one another online.
    pacifictrotter pacifictrotter
    26-30, M
    4 Responses Apr 7, 2013
    jay4ever2015 jay4ever2015
    22-25, M
    Oct 30, 2015

    Im 20 years old and african American.

    I found out I got hiv when I was 19 and in college. Fresh from home jumping on everything "literally" I was never educated on std's by my family whom I've always had to be in the closet about my sexuality with. All I wanted was to feel loved and love and to just have somebody...
    Tb2015 Tb2015
    2 Responses Feb 19, 2015

    I had a really good day today.

    I have been on Stribild since January, it's hard to remember to take it daily though. I got my first labs back today and I am undetectable and my T-cells are above 350. It's the best news I've gotten. It helps me progress my life forward and strive to be better and live for a...
    mitchell713 mitchell713
    26-30, M
    5 Responses Apr 28, 2014

    How HIV Children Are Injured And Kill By The

    Actions Of The City Of Salinas, Ca. The Salinas Valley is one of the largest agricultural centers in the USA and the city of Salinas, Ca., which is located there, releases toxic chemicals which can get into the food grown in the Salinas Valley. Some of the toxic...
    marcthegiantkiller marcthegiantkiller
    56-60, M
    Jul 11, 2015

    I just found out I was positive Aug 7,

    2015. I have an appointment in 7.5 hrs. It's my first appt with a nurse/PA to get all my labs/bloodwork prior to my first official MD appt. So many anxieties with that, I cannot sleep. The numbers for one. Obviously. But on top of that, the possibility of seeing someone in the...
    JCole2015 JCole2015
    36-40, M
    1 Response Aug 17, 2015

    I am a latino male, who is HIV positive

    since 2009. I live in Mexico and can say that I am healthy and have been undetectable for about a year and a half. My CD 4 is very good and if I could lend an ear (eyes) or could advise you in any way please let me know.
    vstr8328 vstr8328
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Dec 8, 2014

    First Visit. One week

    after the diagnosis, and after collecting all possible questions related to HIV and health, went to my first appointment with an HIV specialist. Have to admit it, was scared to death. What are they going to tell me? What else are they going to find? What if I see someone I know...
    Daniel0340 Daniel0340
    2 Responses Sep 5, 2015

    Long-term Person

    I can't say long-term SURVIVOR, because I have not survived HIV if I still have it. I've been HIV for over 23 years and still healthy and strong. MY numbers are 874 and I've been undetectable for over 15 years. My doctor doesn't know why I'm as healthy as I am. Me either! I eat...
    rainbowbright123 rainbowbright123
    51-55, M
    11 Responses Jun 11, 2009

    Day 3 of meds. I went to the doc this past

    Thursday. It was my 1st visit to meet the doctor and get my initial labs back. CD4 was 364 and my viral load was 36,000. She said it wasn't bad and would be manageable. Started Triumeq on Friday. I make too much for any type of assistance, but thankfully a copay card got it...
    JCole2015 JCole2015
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Sep 7, 2015

    Seeking poz man who wants to settle down

    for good. Must able to come and see here in the Philippines. Open for a possible marriage. Love not Lust. Serious only please.
    philb0i philb0i
    31-35, M
    Sep 9, 2014

    Hiv Positive Gay Man Needs Your Help In Reaching Dream Of Becoming A Doctor

    Hello my name is Adam Kessinger and I am a Clinical Psychology PhD candidate focusing on gay men's health. I am currently conducting a research study focusing on relationship satisfaction and positive growth after receiving an HIV/AIDS diagnosis in a population of gay men. I have...
    adamk83 adamk83
    26-30, M
    5 Responses Jan 8, 2013

    I realy need a hug 😒

    or some1 just to tell me that everything will be ok
    skelly23 skelly23
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jul 27, 2015

    Just Looking To Make Contacts With Other HIV Positive Guys For Friendship And Support

    I'm 24 years old and about 3 months ago I found out that I was HIV positive. I remember the feeling as i sat there with a blank look on my face. I went to the doctor for a a regular checkup but had some blood work done before. As i got there and received the news I was shocked...
    Killerkaze Killerkaze
    9 Responses Jul 1, 2013
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