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I Am In a Bad Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,631 People

    I am just looking to vent a little bit here.

    I've been married for 20 years. It's been 20 years of pretty awful. My husband doesn't have conversations with me and we haven't been intimate for 4 years. Anything I want to do, he is not interested in. Pretty sure he's having an affair and I think he won't leave me because...
    endjoy1994 endjoy1994 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 30

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    Going on 6 day vacation tomorrow

    and I'm having major anxiety about it. 6 days - and nights - of 100% time with husband without alone time. It never works out well for either one of us. I kind of want to stay home, but it would upset kids. But anxiety is peaking!!
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 22

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    Ignorance Is Bliss! This Is Hell!

    I have been married almost 20 years... to a woman that barely even knows me. Sometimes I pat myself on the back for having stuck with this for so long - I stretched a 2 year marriage into 20! Woohoo! Our kids are almost grown and I have not been unfaithful despite the emotional...
    gr0mblE gr0mblE 41-45 4 Responses Jun 19, 2011

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    God I don't want to be a shell.

    I don't want to lose myself, my identity, because I am being abused. I am aware, but still blind. I know he will never change, but yet I stay with hope. Are there really guys out there that treat women right, or are they all like this? Is this normal? Is this my fault? I feel...
    nursingstudentxo nursingstudentxo 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 23

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    I used to think being married would be a great

    experience, I saw my parents madly in love with each other and yes they fought and eventually divorced but the funny thing is they are in love with each other they just both have such a strong personality that they cannot live together lol I am in a marriage where we don't...
    Rena4 Rena4 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    Caught In Between

    I've been married almost 15 years. Everything was great we were happy as can be. The past couple years have been off and on hell! When it's good it's good, and when its bad its awful. She's almost unhappy all the time, sort of like a chip on her shoulder I guess you can say. She...
    Here4u72 Here4u72 41-45, M 4 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    I feel so hurt. I can hardly

    even write on here. I feel so lonely and lost. I am married and my husband treats me bad and blames me for everything. I want to leave but don't have the strength to leave. I sometimes think should I stay for the kids. My husband drinks on and off. I ask him not to drink...
    lonilyheart lonilyheart 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 22

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    I Am Leaving

      I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend (whom I have mistreated and for that I am sincerely sorry) but the discussion was the end of my marriage. I am leaving my wife. After the holidays, God Willing, we will go our separate ways. I really wish I could run...
    Smokeseek Smokeseek 36-40, M 15 Responses Dec 4, 2008

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    I love my wife but we are two drastically

    different people with two different agendas in life. I stay because I love her and I don't know how to go back to being single, I don't know how to walk away from 3 tough years of marriage, I don't know how I could ever be happy with anyone at this point... There is enough...
    BlackSenpai BlackSenpai 26-30, M 1 Response Jun 13

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    I Hate My Marriage

    My husband and I had a horrible dating experience. We had everything from arguments About small things to me waking up from being choked out on the bathroom floor. Now why marry him u ask?? I'm not sure. Was it a sad self love of Myself? I don't know. I thought marriage would...
    lost3forme lost3forme 26-30 2 Responses May 18, 2013

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    Virgo1981 Virgo1981 31-35, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    There comes a point where you are just two

    separate people, living in one place. When that time comes everything changes. The way you view that person changes, they become ugly as the hurt takes over and blocks out their features. There is no attraction, only manipulation. No love, only the ability to take advantage...
    plhwish plhwish 31-35, F 8 Responses Dec 10

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    I have so many qualities of a good wife

    and he just takes it all for granted. I no longer look at him as the man Love and just see our marriage as business arrangement and I am starting to feel very underpaid and miss the enjoyment and pride I used to feel when I called myself his wife.
    Jayne0915 Jayne0915 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 31

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    I called my wife about our finances.

    Of course she has to get an attitude because she automatically thinks it's my fault and of course she has to make an attitude while she was with her sister to make me look bad. But when I pointed out what I was asking about was because of something she did, that attitude quickly...
    Burai Burai 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 10

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    My wife and I met in college 14 years ago

    but we didn't date we just were friends. She leaves to return home because one of her parents get ill and we lose contact until 3 years ago. At that time we connect on Facebook I visit her and the rest is history. We had a long distance relationship for our entire time dating...
    Solonelysc Solonelysc 31-35, M Jul 14

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    Oh joy!! Today I've been told I'm a bad mother,

    disgusting, and I hate you by my my husband who won't leave when I tell him we need to separate. No wonder I'm a complete basket case most of the time.
    Booksaremypassion Booksaremypassion 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 4

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    OMG! I made the mistake of walking away from an

    oncoming scolding today at the tree farm. He stopped in the middle of the road and started to yell for me, so I stopped on the other side of the road and asked politely what he wanted, he started to yell at me that he wanted me over there with him now, like I'm a 5 year old...
    Lld84 Lld84 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 8

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    Not Sure What To Do..

    I have been married for 7 years, have one toddler son, and am expecting a second child in a couple of months. I have always had problems with my husband, even before we were married. We've gone to couples therapy in the past, to great improvement in our situation each time. My...
    jlkb jlkb 31-35 6 Responses Sep 9, 2011

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    Dealing with this crap from my husband.

    I want him to give me the divorce papers. Instead of taking things day by day has he saids. Who wants to live there life wondering what day and time someone is going to say I have had enough. I mean this is stupid. Than I ask him if he's in love with me or just have love for...
    OverPowered1 OverPowered1 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 16

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    Bad Bad Bad

    We live under one roof and sleep separately. . . I mean different rooms. We never talk except about the kids. I eat with my kids. When he wants to eat I offer a plate and serve him. I wait, while doing something, till he finishes his meal. I can't have a productive conversation...
    ladyryan ladyryan 41-45, F 48 Responses Sep 28, 2011

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    I think he wants me to be the one to finally

    say it's over. We normally go over to his parents for the holidays and yesterday he bowed out. He didn't even come. I'm not complaining. It was so peaceful, there were no arguements, no stress, and it was the first holiday since we've been together that I didn't have an anxiety...
    Lld84 Lld84 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 28

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    So today got was a waking moment

    for me. I got a speeding ticket, and called to tell my husband about it. It happens to the best of us. But of course he was mad because everything i do is wrong. When i told him I was shocked at his anger, he proceeded to berate and criticize me about not paying attention and...
    lynnethedreamer lynnethedreamer 36-40, F 4 Responses Apr 24

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    I Never Realized It Would Be Such a Big Mistake

    I live in India, where arranged marriages are the norm. But a lot of people (like my 2 sisters) find their own mates, and marry them. So if u fall in love, you marry your lover, else mom and dad find you a husband. My situation was so weird; and now I think how stupid I was...
    skylightangel skylightangel 31-35, F 13 Responses May 20, 2007

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    And then I am reminded of

    why this is not working out. I am oddly grateful for these moments, because even though he has very brief moments of clarity and honesty it is good to be grounded in the reality of his selfishness, arrogance, and complete lack of consideration.
    plhwish plhwish 31-35, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    So we had our first date night in months.

    We finished eating early so I suggested we go home since it we would have some time alone before our kid would come home. She had other plans. We went shopping at Wal-Mart where it took her an hour to find presents for her best friend's kids. I definitely see where her...
    Burai Burai 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 5

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    I have a question. I feel sick I'm married with

    5 kids. Last year my wife was sneaking around seeing some guy and I found out. Began to move forward then dude said they had sex. She denies it but idk what to believe. I don't trust her AT ALL! But I don't wanna leave my kids. What y'all think I should do moving forward.
    justdatcalloway justdatcalloway 26-30, M 5 Responses Oct 29

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    Trying My Best

    I am in central NJ and wife stopped loving me 2 years ago and I found out intimate details of an affair she had over last year. We are staying together for the kids(3) and seeing if she can get back the feeling. Every day is an incredible struggle. New to online support and glad...
    trying123 trying123 46-50 4 Responses Mar 16, 2011

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    Once again my wife gets angry

    for little or no reason & so I'm sleeping on the couch...but I've learned that's a great time to ********** & chat on EP...
    LondonKiwi LondonKiwi 46-50, M 2 Responses Aug 21

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    A woman needs so much love

    and attention and a man needs a lot of respect. Man and woman are completely different from one another, but the better we come to understanding one another the better our relationships will be.
    TheGecko87 TheGecko87 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 25

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    So the first time in a long time my wife

    and I had sex. And I've never felt more empty in our marriage. This is why. This sort of thing happens every few months. She feels bad, notices I'm becoming distant, and decides to initiate sex. Then afterwards she gets more physical such as holding hands, showing PDA, actually...
    Shaider83 Shaider83 31-35, M Jun 8

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    I am effin' done. Today is her birthday

    and her mood was mopey all day. When she got to opening the present I got her, she was disappointed even though it was EXACTLY what she wanted. Now rewind 5 days earlier. We celebrate her birthday at her parents' house. She is all happy, giggly, and full of life. This is what I...
    Shaider83 Shaider83 31-35, M 7 Responses Jun 11

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    My wife just told me

    that we shouldn't celebrate our anniversary this week. Fine by me. The rest of our marriage is sham. Why pretend we are okay one day out of the year?
    Shaider83 Shaider83 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 6

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    Moved in to a separate bedroom today.

    Even moved the mattress as I don't see this as a temporary thing. This is the step before I can move out.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 8

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    Okay we I had lots of positive feedback from my

    first couple posts :) went seen my lawyer(thankfully he is the next street over, we came up with a plan to have my husband removed from the home if necessary) there are no openings in any shelters right now, make fire tore through one and everyone has been displaced okay so took...
    Virgo1981 Virgo1981 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 10

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    I've been married for 4 years,

    have a wonderful child but my wife and I seem to fight all the time. Something small like a kidding comment sends her into a rage about how i ruined her life and things that happened 2 years ago, me not "sticking up for her" when my family "mistreated her." I cant imagine not...
    goodguy30s goodguy30s 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 8

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    I'm In a Bad Place

    I have been married over 30 years and am in a bad place.  He is verbally abusive and I feel like I have nowhere to turn.  It's easy for everyone to tell you to leave, but it is a case that I stayed too long, am financially deeply locked to him and feel...
    LaurieK LaurieK 51-55 11 Responses Jul 29, 2009

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    Is There Hope?

    Being married for 25 years should feel like an achievement, but it doesn't - for me, at least.  I feel like I have been alone in this marriage for more than half of those 25 years and yet, I still cannot decide if I want to stay or not.  Maybe not deciding is the...
    criselda criselda 41-45, F 8 Responses Oct 16, 2007

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    Sadness

    alone i am, and is how i will stay. id rather be alone than be treated this way. you are black and cruel and justifiably wrong, and i'm a bird who's tied down that needs to sing her songs. a boring, lying creature, guilty all of the time so sneaky and talentless, not creative...
    Paininmyeye Paininmyeye 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 30, 2010

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    My love is 23 years older

    than me. We met a few years ago online via AgeMeet.com. It was totally platonic but I broke off contact due to doing other things in my life, I wasn't quite ready to explore my spirituality. At the beggining of the year we got back into contact and basically fell in love over...
    candycc12 candycc12 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 8

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    Marriage Is Stupid

    I do not believe in marriage anymore. Unconditional love and promises can not exist in a marriage. There are always lies and hidden facts. I have been married for 15 years, one kid (9), no physical contact with husband since conception almost ten years ago (same room separate...
    tiredandhopeless tiredandhopeless 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 2, 2013

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    The lord is close to the brokenhearted.

    He saves those whose spirits have been crushed. Psalm 34:18
    Pierce7891 Pierce7891 18-21, F Aug 30

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    I know my marriage is bad

    and that it's over but it just hit me like a ton of bricks that I don't have a man that will look at me with that look of love and just mouth the words "I love you" because he does It's not too much to ask for i think Just one man to love me for who I am and to tell me and...
    Virgo1981 Virgo1981 31-35, F 3 hrs ago

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    Broken Spell

    I am not only in a bad marriage but one it seems I cant get out of...but I have already written those stories elsewhere...suffice it to say its bad enough...not one person who knows us thinks we should work it out...well today my spouse called from prison...the first six times I...
    wickedlittlepixie wickedlittlepixie 41-45, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2012

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    I just got finished texting my mother in law.

    I told her about my plans to divorce after the holidays. Surprisingly she was very supportive and agrees with my decision to ask for it. But now I'm sitting at work, trying to hold back my emotions about the convo, and silently crying, good lord I probably look like hell right...
    Lld84 Lld84 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 9

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    Is It Really Going to Get Better?

    I keep oscillating between wanting to get out of the marriage; and trying to carry on. Deep in my heart I know that if I leave, I'll feel liberated and ecstatic. But the reality is that the kids will be shattered. Another reality is that maybe the marriage can be worked upon...
    skylightangel skylightangel 31-35, F 6 Responses May 23, 2007

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    I have been in a common law marriage

    for nearly 4 years. There have been many issues with me especially because i battle some anxiety and depression issues. Then i met someone... And i had an affair. My husband left me and moved out. Now though we are in counselling for our relationship, im in personal counselling...
    saria89 saria89 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    Tonight is one of those nights

    that prove that I cannot stand this BS marriage anymore. Where she keeps on choosing her family before me. I signed up for this marriage and to be a part of her family, not in competition and always losing.
    Shaider83 Shaider83 31-35, M 1 Response Jun 7

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    Me and my husband tried to watch a movie

    together. It just seems forced. Our interaction with one another is forced... I feel like we are more like roommates than a couple. I cannot be completely myself without him trying to point out the negative. Sometimes I want to leave. But then I always think about how I felt...
    Shawneeluv Shawneeluv 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 6

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