I Am In a Long Distance Relationship Forum & Chat Board | He dropped a bomb on me

My LDBF and I have been apart for 6 months. Long before I left, he promised that he would come see me in the UK this summer.

Last night he posted on facebook that he had just booked his ticket to fly home and see his family for Christmas. Jokingly, I asked him when he was booking his ticket to come see me.

“I dunno, maybe next winter.” No joke. Dead serious.

I immidiately felt a knot in my stomach and tried texting him to see what he meant. No answer; his favourite technique to “let me down easy”.

When he finally answered, long after I was in bed, he said he had a really big project going on at work and didn't think he could get two weeks off.

He is a young engineer and he often joked about how, being left handed, his iron ring must be worn on his left pinky finger. Which is right next to his ring finger, meaning he could put work before marriage.

I always laughed and rolled my eyes but I'm starting to feel like that's where the relationship is headed and I'm not so keen on that. Two weeks ago, after over a month of ridiculous hours at work, he got very worried that I would leave him because of his job and the lack of communication that goes with it most days. I assured him it would take way more than that to push me away. But now I'm not so sure. This has me really upset.

How do I handle this? I don't mind arguing about it, but I want him to realize that there is more at stake than a deadline. His decisions don't just affect him now, they affect me too and we should talk about them together  Anyone been there? What did you do?

 

This guy sounds passive aggressive. My g/f puts work before people, before love. I really despise her now. Dump him before you become bitter like me. 

 

it's sweet that he got concerned, that means he does care. Lack of keeping the promise though that has been dear to your heart, him seeing you in summer - I can see how that is hard on you :( it's promises like that, that help us hang on to our relationships.

What if you flew out to see him in the summer then? You never know, he may be able to find the time off anyways. He may not see it right now, but there's no harm in trying. 

 

i think it's sad that he isnt planning on visiting you but at the same time its good that he is still willing to stay in the relationship even with all his work and stuff. My ldr didnt last because he wasnt even willing to try and he wasnt even that busy like ur bf.

 

I would like to go home this summer, the problem is I am a full-time student who can't find a job. And if he is too busy to come over, I doubt he'd be around much if I went home.

We are looking at the possibility of him coming for a long weekend or something. On the plus side, our New Year's resolution is to set half an hour a week aside to skype each other, which we've been terrible at doing lately. His willingness to do that shows me he still wants to see this through.

 

My friend is very passive-aggressive.  She will be upset if I don't communicate with her.  But she will also get upset if I try to IM her more than once a day.