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I Am In a Sexless, Loveless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 134 People

    LONG: In A Holding Pattern But Getting Very Depressed

    I've been married 5 times - that probably says something about me right there, but to me it says that I never stop hoping for a REAL marriage. I thought my third marriage was finally it. I married at 20 to a much older man and divorced after less than a year, he was a man/child...
    Ocean61 Ocean61 51-55, F Nov 18, 2013

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    How do I do this? How can I live with myself

    for what I have done? After meeting with my daughters counselor yesterday, she told me that my daughter, who is only 15, has known about my affair since last summer and has been holding it inside, telling no one. This has caused her great anxiety. After consulting with the...
    Maezy64 Maezy64 46-50, F 24 Responses Apr 29

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    It really is amazing how hard you can focus

    and how much effort you can put forth, when working on something that's important to you, that you truly care about. It also makes it really clear how little you care about our nonexistent sex/love life, if you made even half the effort that you have been making for this test...
    princessmaryjane4200 princessmaryjane4200 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 12

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    Sexless

    ive been married for 28 yrs and the last 10 have been no sex, its at the piont now where i dont even care i just pleasure myself when im horny,which seems to be every day, and that keeps me happy.my wife says i dont try, but somewhere along the way i guess i just gave up. im...
    plasticpants01 plasticpants01 56-60, M 4 Responses Aug 30, 2012

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    SEXLESS Marriage

    i am a 30yr old female in a 13yr old sexless relationship with a woman. although i love her vvery much and we have the best time together, i dont think i can take it anymore. she has made me feel so guilty over this. telling me how selfish i am for complaining over this. the last...
    GUS79 GUS79 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 24, 2009

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    Staying Alive For The Baby

    My husband has not wanted to have any contact (touching, kissing, even holding my hand) since before the baby was born. Made the mistake of leaving my friends and family in 1998 to move to his city when it seemed so exciting. Made the mistake of marrying him 2 years later--even...
    brendancer brendancer 46-50 4 Responses Aug 7, 2010

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    Another Long Day Of Ignoring Each Other.

    I wish I could bury my head in the sand and not see the situation for what it is. I wish I could deflect all of my shortcomings onto her thus absolving myself of any responsibility for a failed relationship. I'm the bad guy for retreating into my man cave of withdraw. I'm the...
    Bobahmdis Bobahmdis 41-45, M 2 Responses Jul 26, 2013

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    So I have a huge decision

    that needs to be made, that is giving me many sleepless nights. If you read my back story, you will understand the state of my marriage. My husband took a job in another state and my daughter, who is a Freshman in highschool does not want to leave her school or friends. I...
    Maezy64 Maezy64 46-50, F 7 Responses Apr 23

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    Heading Downhill And Gaining Speed...

    My husband and I have been married for 7.5 years. On our one month wedding anniversary, I gave him an "anniversary" card and wrote him a note about how happy I was and that I loved him and was lookign forward to spending the rest of my life with him. He took one look at it...
    jcbeene jcbeene 31-35, F Mar 7, 2013

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    The Red Dress

    I walk over to him to say goodbye before leaving for work. The red dress I'm wearing is shorter than usual. With matching red heels, it showcases my long, shapely legs. He laughs. I ask him why he's laughing. He responds, "Your dress is short!" Confused, I ask...
    Harley53 Harley53 56-60, F 8 Responses Apr 25, 2010

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    A Question ?

    hi everyone.. i have a question, if your husband told you he loves  you sometimes. would you stay? may i add this has been a sexless and loveless marriage. he has never really been that intrested, just throws me a crumb now and then.. as if to shut me up for a while...
    clarebear73 clarebear73 36-40, F 3 Responses May 18, 2010

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    Why Does It Hurt So Much?

     I have been married for 16 years to a woman that I truly adore, but no longer has feelings for me. When we first dated and then married, I wasn't really gaga over her, but the sex was good and she really, really loved me. Our marriage has never been perfect and I have been...
    cclacy cclacy 41-45, M 4 Responses Sep 15, 2009

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    360 Passes - My Lesson

    All, I saw this site a year ago and have been thinking about the mission impossible. Soon, you will learn of the past year; perhaps a day at a time. 4/21/2010 I write this so that I can vent,  reflect and warn.  Most of all,  I know that after fighting...
    vandy11 vandy11 36-40, M 2 Responses Apr 21, 2010

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    Loveless Marriage

    When I married i remember my husband said that we would always be open and honest with each other and not be like our parents who fought endless and didn't show much emotion other than anger. Sixteen years of marriage later and we are where I dreaded ending up, in a loveless...
    WantedNot WantedNot 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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    Feeling Guilty For Wanting Out

    20 yrs married and 2 children who I worry about all the time because we are setting such a bad example. Our relationship is robotic honestly . . . go through the motions of everyday life . . . only talk we have is about what's going on the next day with the kids schedule-wise...
    JJHelp JJHelp 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 22, 2012

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    Painted Love

    I drag my feet along the gravel, watching the pebbles move and scatter beneath my feet. They are being affected, I am creating a reaction, I like this feeling. It makes me feel alive, effectual in a place I often feel nothing. My reflection has become muted so to speak, shades...
    Withering Withering 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 10, 2013

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    Loveless Marriage

    I don't know really what to say. I have been married several times and nothing has ever worked out. I find myself in a loveless marriage and trapped because he won't leave. He is arrogant and cocky and has been mean to the point that when my son became of age he left home. We...
    madmoma madmoma 41-45 May 16, 2012

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    I Should Have Known Better....

    I have been with my husband for 20 yrs and married for 14. I should have known that it would end up like this. The signs were all there. His family did not approve of me from the beginning because he was a jewish boy marrying a redhead catholic. They made awful comments to me...
    skysmum skysmum 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2013

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    Just Lost...

    I am so unhappy. My jusband has no CONCEPT of love, caring, compassion. After 30 years together I am dead inside, and have almost killed myself by not caring about myself for 20 years now. Time has come to seek help. He can't or won't ever change. I have talked, cried, screamed...
    NotLiving464 NotLiving464 46-50, F 5 Responses Feb 14, 2012

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    Feeling Like a Prisioner of Committment

    I have been married to my husband for 22 years. We dated 5 years prior to marriage. He cheated on me and I cheated on him, but we seemed to have worked through all of that and still got married. At first, things were great. We had sex frequently, partied and just had fun together...
    Deepcrap4now Deepcrap4now 46-50 5 Responses Jul 24, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Curious. If there are any men here who find themselves to be past the point of a new start due to being unattractive to women generally, how do you envision your life post-sexless...
    novembercomingfire novembercomingfire 41-45 10 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I am 65 and my wife is 62. We have been together for over twenty years and married for six. I love my wife very much and tell her so frequently. We are compatible and agreeable in...
    worksforme2 worksforme2 61-65, M 8 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I'm not really sure how to begin, or what to say... I once had a wonderful woman whom I adored and loved. Some how this all fell apart around a year ago... Sex gradually became...
    Jaden1971 Jaden1971 41-45 9 Responses 1 hr ago

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    "Im in a sexless marriage but I won't cheat on my spouse." The problem you hope to never face but are never prepared to face. Often people are at the end of their rope, having...
    Happablap Happablap 26-30, M 6 Responses Jul 20

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    I'm 29, married for 5 years, 2 beautiful kids. Unfortunately like most here I live in a sexless marriage. I have for several years. Now some will say, your young and just not happy...
    incognito21 incognito21 26-30, M 15 Responses Jul 1

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    I've been in a sexless marriage for 14 years. It started going down hill within the first year and I knew then something wasn't right. I've poured my heart out to him so many times...
    ABlueChristine ABlueChristine 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 29

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    Am a Woman In a Sexless Marriage I Pretend - I fake to get along with my husband ..... I would try to talk to him about why there is no sex in our marriage ... I complained...
    Asianblue Asianblue 41-45, F 6 Responses Jul 9

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    My college sweetheart and I have been married 21 years and we have three children (11-20). My wife desires no sex. I pay very close attention to and meet her needs in all other...
    NoTalkJustDo NoTalkJustDo 41-45, M 10 Responses Jul 13

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    So sorry this is happening in your marriage. I as, the wife, am suffering the consequences of a sexless marriage. But I am here over 24 years... it's been going on for at least...
    mwmom mwmom 46-50 17 Responses Jul 4

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    Hello all you wonderful EP folks, I have another update on my formerly sexless marriage. If you want the back story, read my previous posts as they will shed light on the progress...
    mistereko mistereko 36-40, M 11 Responses Jul 14

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    While this is about a sexless relationship, not a sexless marriage, there is an important lesson in here for those in sexless relationships because your partners claim that you...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 11 Responses Jul 13

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    I think the problem with my sexless marriage is not the fact that it's sexless, but the fact that it's a marriage. The wedding of a non-union. What is not united should not be...
    Aeonian Aeonian 51-55, M 23 Responses 5 days ago

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    Almost a month out post divorce. I didn't realize how much you could cram into one month. So overall I would say I am feeling stagnant, however the outside world may see progress...
    Usernametbd Usernametbd 36-40, M 10 Responses Jul 7

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    Failure to Recognise RealityWhen I first came to EP, like most others, I claimed my marriage was great bar the sex. I even said that before my ex and I were married we couldn&rsquo...
    Unjusted Unjusted 36-40, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I never thought that I would be in a situation like this. I was raised in a strict Christian family that honed in on the importance of being a "good girl". My 1st marriage ended in...
    BHEwife BHEwife 41-45, F 19 Responses Jun 30

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    My name is Ryan, i love in a sexless marrage. If you havent guessed I'm gay and been arried for ruffly 5 months now and I have had sex just a gathering of 5 times since Feb 28th...
    RY0RY RY0RY 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 2

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    It's Complicated I'm in a sexless marriage, and it's complicated, probably not unlike a lot of people here. I've been married for 28 years, and the last eight years have been...
    LightAtNight LightAtNight 51-55 8 Responses Jul 3

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    From Psychology Today "Contrary to conventional wisdom, married couples—and their cohabiting counterparts—have more sex than the nonmarried, a fact confirmed in a 2010 survey...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 8 Responses Jul 7

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    I have lived in what can be called a sexless marriage for over 10 years. My wife lost her libido after our oldest son was born. Then we lost our youngest son to cancer 6 years...
    Carboholic Carboholic 36-40 10 Responses Jul 8

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    What Have You Done? “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -- Eleanor Roosevelt In sexless marriages...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 5 Responses Jul 11

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    The chamber is empty, all the bullets have been fired, and the marriage has breathed it's last! I've got no shortage of dates and fun and friends, I wake up every day smiling, no...
    Gearcynic Gearcynic 31-35, M 11 Responses Jul 17

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    After 12 years of a declining sex life, our marriage became sexless some years ago. After counselling, I told her that I wanted to leave. Now she's saying she wants to start...
    Carboholic Carboholic 36-40 9 Responses Jul 19

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    Seeking Therapy I’ve made my first step. I am seeing a therapist. This is not to try and repair my sexless marriage. I have realized that my sex life, the passion, the lust...
    Adam4Eve Adam4Eve 46-50, M 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    Summoning Reinforcements - Those of you who have been following my story as I extract myself from the clutches of a sexless marriage know the shame my STBX has been inflicting on...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 26 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    I am married but I live in a Sexless Marriage. Most of time I even live alone. I am so sad. I am not young anymore. Worst thing is I still look young and good-looking. I had crush...
    jackieLu jackieLu 41-45, F 6 Responses Jul 5

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    I have posted a couple of times about my refuser and our sexless marriage, but feel compelled to post an update. We are in marriage counseling, and she is also getting some...
    mistereko mistereko 36-40, M 16 Responses Jul 5

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    Let me begin by saying how grateful I am for finding this group. I have been in a sexless marriage for 5.5 years now. I have 3 kids (1 from a previous marriageand 2 with my...
    StrongForMyKids StrongForMyKids 31-35, F 7 Responses Jul 6

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    I think this experience is amazing for two reasons: 1. Support group for others in similar positions. Feeling the love, although online is sometimes all we need to get through the...
    Happablap Happablap 26-30, M 16 Responses Jul 13

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    I have been married for over 15 years, have two wonderful children, but I live with the hurt and humiliation of a sexless marriage. In fact, we have NEVER consummated our marriage...
    BucketFiller BucketFiller 41-45, F 27 Responses Jul 13

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