Post

I Am In a Sexless, Loveless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 159 People

    Painted Love

    I drag my feet along the gravel, watching the pebbles move and scatter beneath my feet. They are being affected, I am creating a reaction, I like this feeling. It makes me feel alive, effectual in a place I often feel nothing. My reflection has become muted so to speak, shades...
    Withering Withering 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 10, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Loveless Marriage

    I don't know really what to say. I have been married several times and nothing has ever worked out. I find myself in a loveless marriage and trapped because he won't leave. He is arrogant and cocky and has been mean to the point that when my son became of age he left home. We...
    madmoma madmoma 41-45 May 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How do I do this? How can I live with myself

    for what I have done? After meeting with my daughters counselor yesterday, she told me that my daughter, who is only 15, has known about my affair since last summer and has been holding it inside, telling no one. This has caused her great anxiety. After consulting with the...
    GreyStreet98 GreyStreet98 46-50, F 32 Responses Apr 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Does It Hurt So Much?

     I have been married for 16 years to a woman that I truly adore, but no longer has feelings for me. When we first dated and then married, I wasn't really gaga over her, but the sex was good and she really, really loved me. Our marriage has never been perfect and I have been...
    cclacy cclacy 41-45, M 4 Responses Sep 15, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just Lost...

    I am so unhappy. My jusband has no CONCEPT of love, caring, compassion. After 30 years together I am dead inside, and have almost killed myself by not caring about myself for 20 years now. Time has come to seek help. He can't or won't ever change. I have talked, cried, screamed...
    NotLiving464 NotLiving464 46-50, F 5 Responses Feb 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Another Long Day Of Ignoring Each Other.

    I wish I could bury my head in the sand and not see the situation for what it is. I wish I could deflect all of my shortcomings onto her thus absolving myself of any responsibility for a failed relationship. I'm the bad guy for retreating into my man cave of withdraw. I'm the...
    Bobahmdis Bobahmdis 41-45, M 2 Responses Jul 26, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    360 Passes - My Lesson

    All, I saw this site a year ago and have been thinking about the mission impossible. Soon, you will learn of the past year; perhaps a day at a time. 4/21/2010 I write this so that I can vent,  reflect and warn.  Most of all,  I know that after fighting...
    vandy11 vandy11 36-40, M 2 Responses Apr 21, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Heading Downhill And Gaining Speed...

    My husband and I have been married for 7.5 years. On our one month wedding anniversary, I gave him an "anniversary" card and wrote him a note about how happy I was and that I loved him and was lookign forward to spending the rest of my life with him. He took one look at it...
    jcbeene jcbeene 31-35, F Mar 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Feeling Like a Prisioner of Committment

    I have been married to my husband for 22 years. We dated 5 years prior to marriage. He cheated on me and I cheated on him, but we seemed to have worked through all of that and still got married. At first, things were great. We had sex frequently, partied and just had fun together...
    Deepcrap4now Deepcrap4now 46-50 5 Responses Jul 24, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Feeling Guilty For Wanting Out

    20 yrs married and 2 children who I worry about all the time because we are setting such a bad example. Our relationship is robotic honestly . . . go through the motions of everyday life . . . only talk we have is about what's going on the next day with the kids schedule-wise...
    JJHelp JJHelp 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 22, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Should Have Known Better....

    I have been with my husband for 20 yrs and married for 14. I should have known that it would end up like this. The signs were all there. His family did not approve of me from the beginning because he was a jewish boy marrying a redhead catholic. They made awful comments to me...
    skysmum skysmum 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    SEXLESS Marriage

    i am a 30yr old female in a 13yr old sexless relationship with a woman. although i love her vvery much and we have the best time together, i dont think i can take it anymore. she has made me feel so guilty over this. telling me how selfish i am for complaining over this. the last...
    GUS79 GUS79 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 24, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sexless

    ive been married for 28 yrs and the last 10 have been no sex, its at the piont now where i dont even care i just pleasure myself when im horny,which seems to be every day, and that keeps me happy.my wife says i dont try, but somewhere along the way i guess i just gave up. im...
    plasticpants01 plasticpants01 56-60, M 4 Responses Aug 30, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Red Dress

    I walk over to him to say goodbye before leaving for work. The red dress I'm wearing is shorter than usual. With matching red heels, it showcases my long, shapely legs. He laughs. I ask him why he's laughing. He responds, "Your dress is short!" Confused, I ask...
    Harley53 Harley53 56-60, F 12 Responses Apr 25, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    LONG: In A Holding Pattern But Getting Very Depressed

    I've been married 5 times - that probably says something about me right there, but to me it says that I never stop hoping for a REAL marriage. I thought my third marriage was finally it. I married at 20 to a much older man and divorced after less than a year, he was a man/child...
    Ocean61 Ocean61 51-55, F Nov 18, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Question ?

    hi everyone.. i have a question, if your husband told you he loves  you sometimes. would you stay? may i add this has been a sexless and loveless marriage. he has never really been that intrested, just throws me a crumb now and then.. as if to shut me up for a while...
    clarebear73 clarebear73 36-40, F 3 Responses May 18, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Staying Alive For The Baby

    My husband has not wanted to have any contact (touching, kissing, even holding my hand) since before the baby was born. Made the mistake of leaving my friends and family in 1998 to move to his city when it seemed so exciting. Made the mistake of marrying him 2 years later--even...
    brendancer brendancer 46-50 4 Responses Aug 7, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Loveless Marriage

    When I married i remember my husband said that we would always be open and honest with each other and not be like our parents who fought endless and didn't show much emotion other than anger. Sixteen years of marriage later and we are where I dreaded ending up, in a loveless...
    WantedNot WantedNot 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 26, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So I have a huge decision

    that needs to be made, that is giving me many sleepless nights. If you read my back story, you will understand the state of my marriage. My husband took a job in another state and my daughter, who is a Freshman in highschool does not want to leave her school or friends. I...
    GreyStreet98 GreyStreet98 46-50, F 9 Responses Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It really is amazing how hard you can focus

    and how much effort you can put forth, when working on something that's important to you, that you truly care about. It also makes it really clear how little you care about our nonexistent sex/love life, if you made even half the effort that you have been making for this test...
    princessmaryjane4200 princessmaryjane4200 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    I found an interesting study on sexlessness in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. I can't share the full pdf because there's no way to upload it here, but I will copy and paste the...
    RedOctagon RedOctagon 22-25, F 9 Responses Sep 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I don't just live in a sexless so-called marriage. I live in a dead and humiliating marriage. It's never been any more than what it is now. I need to learn to see my spouse as he...
    MamaAbby MamaAbby 56-60, F 10 Responses Sep 1

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've been married for nearly 7 years now and have enjoyed many intimate moments with my wife. A lot of that has changed in the last two years. Sex isn't something that happens...
    absalom123 absalom123 26-30 10 Responses 6 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    While sexless it is not loveless. I often am ashamed because I don't always "get past" my own physical needs. Here's a little background. My wife, while not "touchy feely" is a...
    expromiscuous expromiscuous 41-45 4 Responses 10 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm sure we all have read the story of the guy who emailed his wife a spreadsheet of his failed attempts at sexual advances. I've read more than a few articles on the story...
    chuckdaly chuckdaly 36-40, M 11 Responses Aug 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    So I guess the question for me is, "How long does it take to turn an SM into a "normal" marriage?," or "How long does it take to recover from an SM, and make it better?" Of course...
    indianoutlaw indianoutlaw 31-35, M 23 Responses Aug 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When I originally posted in April of 2011, I was living in a sexless marriage. I was confused, heartbroken and angry... What happened in the 3 years following has nearly destroyed...
    malms malms 51-55, F 1 Response Sep 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Short comings, short sex drive, short of expressing love are all part of Sexless Marriage. Denial and refusal are very familiar. Pay attention to your spouse's messages. My s/m...
    musicinme musicinme 56-60, F 7 Responses Aug 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Neglect - One of the most important things I've learned from my decision to end my sexless marriage is that I will never again tolerate being neglected by my partner. We all...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 11 Responses Aug 30

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I had to choose a section, so I chose "I Live In a Sexless Marriage." Call it what it is. I denied it. True. If you do live in a sexless marriage, please tell me and if anyone...
    Avek Avek 61-65, F 4 Responses Sep 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I've heard the technical definition of a sexless marriage is sex less than 10 times in a year. But what about quality? What about a partner who doesn't just roll over and tell you...
    frogchop frogchop 46-50, M 14 Responses Sep 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I wanted to post and solicit some advice. I have been waiting for my wife to go our of town for a few weeks now. I was/am planning to see a divorce lawyer, one that specializes in...
    hoss350 hoss350 41-45, M 12 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Me, myself and my parents marriage... I asked my wife to go to a shrink with me about 3 years ago. she did not refuse the idea, but she ways always too busy, or tired or had a...
    frozenhere frozenhere 31-35, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My husband and I have been together ten years, and married for seven. Sex dropped off right after the wedding. Over our married years, we have typically had sex every other month...
    VanillaAlmond1 VanillaAlmond1 31-35, F 22 Responses Sep 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am going to tell how trying to keep my husband in a sexless marriage turned into a terror. When my husband came back from the military his father and other wanted me to assist in...
    isis55 isis55 56-60, F 7 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The compromise promise. I ran into a former colleague yesterday. When I worked with him I got to know his wife and kids, and the couple seemed happily married, but got divorced a...
    something2talkabout something2talkabout 51-55, M 8 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Life after ILIASM I used to be a regular here. I found this group was very supportive and it really helped me regain some perspective and find the courage to leave my relationship...
    NeedingToVent NeedingToVent 36-40, F 12 Responses Aug 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Bear with me because this may seem off topic, but it isn't. I've been recently thinking about death. Yesterday, my post sexless marriage lover had to put his beloved dog of 14...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 13 Responses Aug 21

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Well. It is finally official. I am divorced! After all the craziness, after years of sexless marriage and emotional distance, after emotional and physical abuse, after having an...
    unexpectedlove15 unexpectedlove15 26-30, F 9 Responses Aug 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Married 23 years, no sex for the last 5. If you count years when sex occurred less than half a dozen times, then the number of sexless years climbs to 15. Some people say that a...
    EmbraceableMe EmbraceableMe 41-45 23 Responses Aug 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I live in a sexless marriage have been for the last 6 years... Just didn't realize I was until recently. In my situation i never married for love, didn't even find him attractive...
    Sobeit06 Sobeit06 36-40, F 5 Responses Aug 28

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Today's Dear Prudence: " Dear Prudence, My wife hates sex. Over the years, her libido has gradually faded to nothing and she now finds even the thought of intercourse unpleasant...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 19 Responses Sep 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Undecided whether to post this under this group or under the other one "I'm having random thoughts", I believe posted here the discussion shall be more thoughtful and sensitive...
    TheDreamyWoman TheDreamyWoman 36-40, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Does anyone else notice a sharp increase in people who are NOT in sexless marriages that are jumping in to tell us all what we are doing wrong? Is there a troll convention in town...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M 18 Responses Aug 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A sexless marriage is like a gift you are not allowed to unwrap! What is the point of giving me a gift if I can't enjoy it?
    chasingdreamss83 chasingdreamss83 31-35, M 5 Responses Aug 23

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Not necessarily a sexless marriage, but one lacking intimacy. I have sex often...not as much as I would like, but often. I think I'm an above average sexual guy, so I kind of...
    Thediary Thediary 26-30 8 Responses Aug 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Is there any woman out there who lived in a sexless marriage and they were able to fix this problem? I just don't want to believe that my only option is divorce! WTF?
    Brownie27 Brownie27 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    OK, so I don't actually have a totally a sexless marriage but here's my input & what we have that others don't have. Communication. We've been together for 20 years, married for 13...
    Xlandria61 Xlandria61 61-65, F 5 Responses Aug 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    What makes a marriage become sexless ? I'm very curious about. Is it because there's no spark? If not what made it go away ? Is it because you fell out of love ? What makes married...
    June4U June4U 22-25, F 23 Responses Aug 28