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I Am In a Sexless Relationship

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 822 People

    I've been living w my BF

    for 12 years. It started out wonderful. We had 6 beautiful years. Then he started having health problems, got hooked on painkilling drugs, and lost all interest in me as a woman. Sometimes I hate him for not just breaking up with me, if he doesn't love me in the romantic and...
    PopcornForDinner PopcornForDinner 46-50, F 5 Responses Aug 7

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    Is anybody else in the same boat?

    I never EVER imagined myself being in my 20s and in such a horrendous situation. My partner and I have been together for 3 years. The first year was great. Our sex life was vibrant and passionate and the thought of sex being an issue never crossed my mind. Then a couple months...
    mistakeoverload mistakeoverload 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 28

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    My boyfriend works from 5am to 5pm.

    He usually gets 5-6 hours of sleep a night. I often wonder if this is the reason why he barely initiates intimacy with me. Our sexual relationship has gone down drastically. Though when we do engage in inter course it's amazing! I have been arguing with him lately on "why we had...
    elephant70 elephant70 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 23

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    Why doesn't my husband understand?

    He doesn't touch me, compliment me or even sit near me on the couch. I get a quick peck on the lips when he leaves in the morning and when I go to bed at night. With the exception of those 2 pecks it's like having a roommate instead of a boyfriend. We had a great sex life at the...
    hotdamndame hotdamndame 31-35, F 3 Responses May 18

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    From the day I met my girlfriend,

    I was completely taken. I've Been with her for 2 years now, but, its not exactly what I pictured it would be like. I imagined it as love and romance, however as it turns out, shes not ready for sex yet. I cant understand why, 2 years we've been together, and shes still not...
    99ProblemsAndThisIsOne 99ProblemsAndThisIsOne 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 7

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    I feel really frustrated with my wife

    who has stopped having sex with me for the past 10 months. Some times I feel sexually excited by her, but get angry inside because I know the answer will be " no". I get no affection or intimacy from her what so ever. My feelings for her have changes as a result.
    frustratedaussiehusband frustratedaussiehusband 36-40, M 2 Responses Aug 10

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    Welp 2 months and he's still not

    even showing any sign of letting up. Fml fml fml fml
    RjMommy245 RjMommy245 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 17

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    If He Only Knew.....

    I have been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. The very 1st night I moved in with him, we still had not had sex yet, he told me he didnt want it to be ALL about sex..OK no problem...we finally had sex on the 3rd night..it was GREAT...as time has gone on, I have found out he is...
    frustratedsad frustratedsad 46-50 3 Responses Jul 5, 2012

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    So I told him today once again how I felt,

    I have to get him out of my life!! But curious on what he would respond. As I thought he turned it all around and blamed it on me. That's ok though, he can take the door!!
    Chevy1973 Chevy1973 36-40, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    He Insinuated Intimacy The Other Day, I Refused.

    About two weeks ago he said in his usual playful way; "How about I do this for you ( insert chore here) and you give me a hand job". I refused. I told him I was not going to please him in that way because it was not satisfying to me. Then he explained to me how he does not feel...
    AvalonWeiss AvalonWeiss 31-35, F 14 Responses Nov 17, 2012

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    WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO FOR ATTENTION?

    I could walk around completely naked & my bf would literally not look twice. I don't get it. -- Another day of pure frustration.
    kros10 kros10 26-30, F 25 Responses Jul 31

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    And on top of everything my birthday is

    tomorrow, and usually he is at home all day everyday. But he made sure to have something to do on my birthday!
    tiffany7michelle tiffany7michelle 31-35, F 8 Responses Oct 7

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    I started dating a girl,

    we'll call her becka, well over a year ago. When we first got together it was amazing, for months at the beginning we were the perfect couple. I loved every minute i was with her, from doing mundane tasks like cleaning, or taking my dogs for a walk, to our amazing sex life. I...
    mitchel71 mitchel71 26-30, M 2 Responses Jun 29

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    Empty Bed...

    my bed is empty too long, now here I poured myself I'm sad when the night comes and so I warmed up my empty cold heart and bed ... This my empty bed is my greatest curse, it hurts it hurts a lot,empty bed but it hurts the most simply too is empty... I just live this life...
    skyfone464 skyfone464 41-45, F Jan 30, 2013

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    Maybe I shouldn't complain.

    Reading other stories on here makes me think that I don't have it so bad, but in reality, it FEELS like emotional torture. My husband and I are intimate 2-3 times a month. It would probably be less if not for my constantly bringing it up or making remarks like, "It's been 2-3...
    elana29 elana29 26-30 2 Responses Jun 25

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    I'm Done. I Can't Do This Anymore!

    My bf and I met 5 years ago and at first the sex was GREAT and frequent. It went from daily, sometimes multiple times in a day, then weekly, then monthly, then every 3-4 months, even got to 8 month stretch with nothing. I love him so very much! I can't even get close to him...
    Mwillis123 Mwillis123 36-40, F 8 Responses Oct 21, 2013

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    When I was about 13 I was over at a friends

    house for the night and I am in my own room and am awoke to his 20 year old sister who is completely naked sucking my penis once she sees I am awake she tells me to shut up and not tell anybody then we go for a while more and the. Go to sleep when I woke up she was naked in bed...
    Randy223 Randy223 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 25

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    Since having an abortion I don't want Sex

    and struggle to enjoy it when I do. I'v been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we have been though a lot together including and abortion, and since this I can't have sex.. WHY!? Any advice?
    CleoX CleoX 18-21, F Sep 25

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    December 3, 2013 was the last time we were

    intimate. I couldn't tell you the time before that. We have been together for 10 years but a part for the last 5 years. I've asked him to make a change. Make a choice. Decide to be happy with or without me. He is content with living the facade of living the suburban life with...
    thelatintwist thelatintwist 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 24

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    The situation in my home hasn't been good

    for the last couple years, and I know I need to leave my girlfriend of 8 years. Not only has she completely excused the behavior of her out of control 16 year old daughter, resulting in a tense situation at home, but she has denied me sex for the last six months. Our sexual...
    LostStepDad LostStepDad 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 15

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    I im out of it but SO angry with myself

    for staying in it for 2 years. I just didn't know what was happening. Wish I'd found this 2 years ago and realised that it's something quite "concrete "that happens to people. I was so naive and believed him when he kept saying things would get better. I am so angry that I...
    allisnotlost allisnotlost 56-60, F 1 Response Oct 7

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    My boyfriend and I have been dating

    for three years..and the first year we would do "it" basically every night and more than two times a day. He used to tell me at first "we shouldn't always do "it" because we will get used to it". I didn't know what he was talking about because he was my first. So now we barely...
    elephant70 elephant70 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 18

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    Okay question. I'm getting all kinds of advice

    but has anyone ACTUALLY gotten a real answer/diagnosis from their man/boyfriend/husband to WHY they're not actively wanting sex?? I'd love to hear !!!!!
    kros10 kros10 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 31

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    I have been in a relationship

    for almost 3 years, my first relationship of anywhere near that long or anywhere near as special as this one is. We're planning to move in together when we finish school (I'm almost 23 and he's a few months older). But I am deeply concerned about taking this step, because we...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 23

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    Tell Me Why...

    So many of these stories seem to be from women who are with men that are completely unresponsive sexually, but they say that they love them so much?  Do sexless men inspire this kind of devotion in us?  It seems to be what happened with me.  We've been together...
    gigilarkin gigilarkin 61-65, F 6 Responses Apr 19, 2010

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    8 years in. It must be something I'm doing

    wrong. I still tell her how beautiful she is, how much I feel rejected when she won't be intimate and we still laugh and enjoy each others company. I got up at 630am to dig her car out of the snowiest city in the USA this year (Erie PA *******!) and I couldn't help thinking...
    Geometerichachi Geometerichachi 26-30, M 4 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    Struggling tonight...

    .. Just want to be held, made to feel like a woman and make crazy, mad, passionate love! Why is that too much to ask? :(
    Inspireme1 Inspireme1 46-50, F 5 Responses Sep 5

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    We've been together for over 6 months now

    and we want to spend the rest of our lives together but she is afraid of having kids. its 2014! there are so many ways around that. What do i do?
    Monwell Monwell 18-21, M Sep 23

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    I'm tired of people on here complaining

    that their partner won't have sex with them. Sex doesn't just happen because one person gets turned on. You can't treat someone like a doormat all week and expect them feel warm and intimate towards you. Maybe if you treated your spouse/partner with a bit of respect and made...
    emptynow emptynow 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 12

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    I Had Hopes For Today...

    But no. We didn't have sex. He didn't have work today, and the day I got my period he said he really wanted to. I know some people like to have sex during periods, but we don't like to. Today, that it's finally over and he didn't have work, we didn't do anything. I was trying...
    LeZombie LeZombie 22-25, F 5 Responses Feb 19, 2010

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    Hello all, I am new here

    and I am not sure how it works exacly but I am gonna give it a try. I am 23 my boyfriend in 31 and we have been together for a year. We recently moved in together-just before Christmas. My biggest problem with him is that he is not interested in making love at all. Before you...
    eternity7 eternity7 22-25, F 7 Responses Jan 10

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    Sexless Relationship Advice For Women

    It’s really important to understand, first of all, that being in a sexless relationship is allowed to be a deal breaker. My sexless relationship advice for women is first and foremost, that you are allowed to leave the relationship. It is enough of a reason for you to breakup...
    faithfullypinky faithfullypinky 22-25, F 10 Responses Aug 10, 2012

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    It's amazing how many people are in a sexless

    situation. Doesn't matter how tall/short, fat/slim, or attractive the person is. I remember when we use to have sex more then date. What happens to sex after you decide to commit????
    thelatintwist thelatintwist 36-40, F 7 Responses Apr 1

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    He Says He Loves Me But Won't Touch Me

    I have been with my boyfriend for two years and he won't touch me anymore. Every once in a while i'll get a peck and if we fight he'll give me a hug and peck with lots of I love you's. He says he loves me and that he knows it's difficult right now for us. He just isn't interested...
    peapers peapers 31-35, F 14 Responses Nov 27, 2009

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    It's nice to know there are other people out

    there with the same problem! I have been in a relationship for over a year now & I'm lucky if were intimate once every 4 months. It's very confusing and frustrating, and I know it has nothing to do with another girl but it really starts to wear on you mentally and emotionally...
    kros10 kros10 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 26

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    I'm a 22 year old female in a loving committed

    relationship of 1 year with a 30 year old man. The relationship is great except when it comes to sex. The sex is good when we do have it but it's not often enough for me. He has no sex drive I try to get him horny and I get turned down. I'm starting to feel unattractive and...
    Twistedlover13 Twistedlover13 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    15 yrs in a relationship!

    Why does sex leave even if you try to spice it up.
    Sparky642014 Sparky642014 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 14

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    Sat here home alone with my c*ck in my hand,

    **** on the screen, think I wish someone would do I for me. The thought of just laying back while someone jerks my c*ck thinking I'm gonna come and just shoot my load over them. Wish I knew dirty come loving sl*ts
    andy8669 andy8669 26-30, M Jun 29

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    What is the best way to handle a refuser

    who every time pretends he has no idea sexlessness is the issue of my unhappiness , then asks how we can work on it only to forget the entire conversation the following days, gives excuses and asks patience, until cycle repeats itself and he is again apparently completely...
    Imoveryou Imoveryou 26-30, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Our child is away with grandparents

    for the next 10 days. I thought we'd have sex because it's one less excuse not to. He worked last night so I didn't try anything b/c I knew he wouldn't be into it. We woke up this morning, fresh from a full night's sleep, and he was lovey dovey talking about how much he loves...
    elana29 elana29 26-30 7 Responses Jul 7

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    My refuser & I had a discussion again yesterday.

    She actually laughed at me for her having denied me for so long. Then she actually admitted she was deliberately refusing me because she wasn't able to control what I did & didn't do. I reminded her that when her sociopathic son tried using his bad behavior against me 20 years...
    ImBatmanNow ImBatmanNow 51-55, M 1 Response Feb 17

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    Sexless Relationship

    So I lost my virginity quite some time ago to my boyfriend of two years. When that relationship ended I kept to myself for about a year and a half before dating someone else. As of now, I've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. I'm 19 and he is 21. He has disappointed...
    IsabelleLove IsabelleLove 18-21, F 8 Responses Oct 27, 2013

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    I am so confused.....

    .. Everything in my relationship is great but he just won't have sex with me. He kisses me, cuddles me, says he loves me, holds hands with me down the street, cuddles me to sleep in bed as even gets jealous if any guys look at me or chats me up but when it comes to sex he doesn't...
    xXLondonladyXx xXLondonladyXx 22-25, F 11 Responses Jan 5

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    Inspireme1 Inspireme1 46-50, F Oct 12

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    My sexless relationship is over,

    I know this because she asked me the other day "Are we done?" and after two years of no sex, no intimacy, and a "F__k he's here" look when ever I came in the door. I had to agree that our relationship was dead. This was further confirmed when she informed me within a week that...
    1sundiver 1sundiver 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 23

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    I am so lonely, wondering

    if I deserve nothing more than this! I am in a relationship, but I feel like a roommate just here to help pay bills. I'm hurt so deeply I don't know if I can ever recover and truly put all of me into someone else again without having my guard up. I'm not an unattractive girl...
    tiffany7michelle tiffany7michelle 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 7

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    Where Have All The Stiff Men Gone? ( Seriously ).

    I met my boyfriend when he was 38, he is now 43. I've bee going through 5 years of really unsatisfying sex - that is if he even remembers that I'm there. In the begining I thought nothing of it because, as some of you may know, the first few sexual encounters with your loved one...
    AvalonWeiss AvalonWeiss 31-35, F 37 Responses Nov 9, 2012

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    We all have quite stressful,

    and sometimes sad lives.  I saw this and thought it might bring my ILIASM EPeeps a smile..We all need something everyday (many times a day!) to help us remember that we are people who have good things going on, as well as the stresses that our sexless relationships cause us...
    SolitaireDiamond SolitaireDiamond 46-50, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have been in a relationship with the same man

    for 3years now. I love him with all of my heart and soul, but he is tearing me apart. In the very beginning our sex life was great. And it has slowly dwindled down over the years to an almost complete stop. What is wrong with me? We were friends before we ever became lovers, so...
    tiffany7michelle tiffany7michelle 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 21

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    Related Experiences

    Since having an abortion I don't want Sex and struggle to enjoy it when I do. I'v been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we have been though a lot together including and abortion, and...
    CleoX CleoX 18-21, F Sep 25

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    When my BF and I used to be intimate it was ALWAYS on a Sunday morning. Now Sunday mornings suck. I get emotional and it ruins my whole day.
    fiftysomthin fiftysomthin 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 12

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    Rewiring Needed! I was wondering today how many people have gone from one poor relationship partner to the next? It seems to me that a lot of us in this group have been with an...
    Artvg Artvg 41-45, F 14 Responses 5 days ago

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    So, a question I've always hidden my inner Dom and it important to stress Dom not MASTER or TOP. I live in a sexless relationship because she will never initiate and I hate the...
    TheLionGod TheLionGod 36-40, M 5 Responses Oct 5