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I Am In a Verbally Abusive Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 77 People

    LIFE As a Boxing Match

    I have been married to a narcissistic abuser for almost 14 years. We have 2 daughters, 11 and 7. Life in our home is like a boxing match.  I am constantly ducking to "avoid" being "hit" by put downs, ordering, blaming, yelling, belittling, withdrawing...
    staystrong92 staystrong92 41-45, F 7 Responses Apr 29, 2008

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    Mistake Of My Life Marrying Him

    I should have known when he insisted on choosing what I wore when we went out on dates that it was a red flag and I should have run. I should have known when he would get explosively angry and I would wonder to myself "What in the world did I do to make him so angry?" and could...
    ekfr ekfr 46-50 2 Responses Apr 20, 2013

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    I Think I'm Being Abused...

    It wasn't until I watched an episode of Dr. Phil recently, believe it or not, that my eyes were truly opened to the possibility that I am in fact being abused. My husband of course will tell you that's an exaggeration, that I'm seeking sympathy or that I'm crazy. I guess it...
    ladybug428 ladybug428 26-30 1 Response Sep 21, 2010

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    It's Not Getting Any Better After 4 Years.

    I'm writing because I just had another fight with my husband.  We disagreed over how to discipline our daughter.  I have told him time and time again that I am the primary disciplinarian for the children since I spend the most time with them and to follow my lead...
    misswitch1369 misswitch1369 31-35 2 Responses Nov 21, 2010

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    I Feel So Sad And Unhappy.

     I am a 39 year old female who moved away to marry who I thought was my soul mate 4 years ago. I also took on his 3 children form his first marriage whilst bringing my 3 to live with him as well. We also have a child between us who will be 2 soon. Gradually over the last 2...
    joanna39 joanna39 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 13, 2009

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    Miserable And Don't Know How To Get Out

    HI, im 26 ive got to kids under the age of 5. I married my husband when my son was 6 months old at the time i didnt realize the person he really was. As sad as this is its been 5 years and im just now realizing that ive been physically and mentally abused. I actually got the...
    trucklover05 trucklover05 26-30 Aug 26, 2012

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    I have written several stories of my experience

    with verbal abuse by my husband. It has escalated to physical abuse at times. I refuse to let him have the best of me. In the past I have argued back and it gets me no where. When I argue back it just escalates things and I end up going off the deep end by breaking things...
    Mikkimacoroni Mikkimacoroni 31-35, F Dec 10, 2013

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    He Has No Respect For Me

    My husband told me out to dinner for Mothers Day and told me that I better never let myself go.  (meaning my looks)  After arguing all weekend, this morning he told me that eventhough we argue a lot and don't get along, I was still the best f**** he ever had and...
    grandlakeprincess62 grandlakeprincess62 46-50, F 7 Responses May 18, 2009

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    My Hope

    Since I married my "John" (not his real name) it seems that everything we did was a fight. We could never do anything without an argument. There is not one mistake or perceived mistake that I make that goes unnoticed. With each mistake or "mistake" that I make I am reminded...
    Mikkimacoroni Mikkimacoroni 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 17, 2012

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    He Has No Respect For Me

    My husband told me out to dinner for Mothers Day and told me that I better never let myself go.  (meaning my looks)  After arguing all weekend, this morning he told me that eventhough we argue a lot and don't get along, I was still the best f**** he ever had and...
    grandlakeprincess62 grandlakeprincess62 46-50, F 6 Responses May 18, 2009

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    I'm Afraid To Go And Afraid Of Staying

    I have been married for 7 years and have 4 kids. I just recently was convinced that my husband is abusive- true, he's never hit me, but he is verbally and emotionally abusive. I fear that it will become physical and I also fear that it will not. Why? If he hit me even once, I'd...
    lilacblossoms2001 lilacblossoms2001 31-35 3 Responses Sep 22, 2011

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    For My Husband And Anyone Else Who Is Caught In The Endless Self Destruction Of Abuse

    This post is kind of a poem, kind of an essay.  It is free writing dedicated to my husband and dedicated to others who may be caught in the endless, self destruction of abuse. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My husband, you need to know that I do see your pain.  I see your hurt that...
    golightly golightly 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 24, 2010

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    Default Husband & Mother-in-law Trying To Cut The Mother Out Of Her Kid's Life

    I'm absolutely at a loss, and would appreciate some advice. This is not how I planned on spending my Christmas Eve, but this nightmare has been going on for far too long and if I don't do something at least minutely proactive, I might lose it. This isn't a situation that I'm...
    Ssai Ssai 18-21 Dec 24, 2012

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    Mistake Of Marrying Him

    My husband and I have been together for 3 years We just got married this past June worst mistake of my life I got pregnant in January so we decided to get married we planed the wedding for June then in April I had a miscarage thats when It started he started yelling at me and...
    whitelilly619 whitelilly619 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 30, 2013

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    I Am Sooo Unhappy With My Life

    Am a 29 yrs old female with a 4 yrs old son.Got married when i was 22 to a man 18 yrs older than i am (47 yrs).Ever since i got into that relationship,i have never known peace of mind.Continuos shouting and insult has been my daily bread.my self esteem has been brought to the...
    kaimaroy kaimaroy 26-30 4 Responses May 30, 2009

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    If You Wouldn't Have Said Or Done This I Wouldn't Say And Do That

    This is the story of my verbally abusive marriage. I can't think of one name in the book I haven't been called. Not to mention the arguments are sometimes senseless and I am always urging him to calm down before he says something he regrets but he doesn't. Our last episode...
    paj2012 paj2012 26-30, F 2 Responses May 16, 2012

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    Same Pattern, He Want Change

    I have been married for 9 yrs. we have a 2 y/o toddler. He is very selfish, a casino freak, womanizer and very disrespectful...I have started positive thinking and enrolled daughter in school/ daycare. I am now looking for apartment and I am making plans to leave this man. I...
    Sotried1969 Sotried1969 41-45, F Sep 30, 2012

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    Verbal Abuse Escalating

    The verbal abuse that I have stupidly endured for the past 11 years is escalating. It used to be a once a month thing, now its becoming every week. Every week he gets into at 1 rage. This evening he was out drinking with the neighbors and enjoying this weather. He comes home...
    Mikkimacoroni Mikkimacoroni 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 22, 2012

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    I Wanna Pull My Hair Out

    i have been married 11yrs and in the beginning it was great...I have put up with his dranking and hitting and staying out all night...but god everytime I wanna talk he tells me to shut up.I posted my story but in the wrong place I wrote it in confessions...so you can go there...
    samanthamauricio samanthamauricio 26-30 May 26, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    My dad's an ***, simple as that, but I'm the only one in my family of four that wants him out of the picture. He's been a nightmare for years and I only realized that he is what...
    Jules725 Jules725 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    Since I can rationalize my father has been verbally and physically abusive. I think it grew in intensity as the years went by and my personality started to evolve. I still live...
    ofthisgirl90 ofthisgirl90 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 2

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    My dad married my stepmom when I was 6. She had two daughter, both older than me. My dad is a trucker, so he was never around. My stepmom always seemed to go out of her way to...
    cme4u cme4u 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 22

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    My father is an alcoholic....a really bad one, he just yells for no reason and says the cruelest things, it's very embarrasing when he does it in public :/ he hasn't hit me but he...
    Zezebabe Zezebabe 18-21, F Oct 2

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    I am usually a person who can smile through it all, I can even encourage other people out of gutters. You can bet half of the people that know me.. Will say oh yeah I know her that...
    ofthisgirl90 ofthisgirl90 22-25, F Oct 9

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    My husband and I have not been intimate for over a year now. He is an alcoholic and I am sure that the alcohol has been a large part of the problem physically. The alcohol also...
    turksandcaicosdream turksandcaicosdream 46-50, F 7 Responses a week ago

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    I am a man that has been in an abusive relationship. My ex girlfriend was, in many ways, not a nice person. For whatever reason, I have always been a little timid, non...
    MisterE12 MisterE12 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    GOOD NEWS> I am on a waiting list to stay at a local agency that takes families with children. I call every week, and this week I was told that in a month there should be an...
    lisaandshasta123 lisaandshasta123 41-45 1 Response Oct 10

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    What would be your 2nd complaint in your marriage after the the lack of sex/intimacy? As some are abusive marriages, some lonely, some seem decent except for no sex, some fed up...
    celtusa celtusa 46-50, M 28 Responses Sep 26

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    Had an interesting experience today. Stbx had asked me to go see his therapist, as his therapist wanted to understand my reasons for divorce. Which would help with therapy sessions...
    Sobeit06 Sobeit06 36-40, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. The whole time even when we dated has been full of abusive ways. I am so lost by the fact that he doesn't exactly...
    Anyonehome Anyonehome 26-30, F 7 hrs ago

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    Funny situation I'd like some input on. So anyway, Lucy has facebook, I've left her to her privacy and not snooped. It's often left open on our shared computer , for whatever...
    1RedKing 1RedKing 41-45, M 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    My husband is overweight, but is kind, considerate, even handsome. We have two kids together and have a wonderful family life. Since we've been married (4 years now), the sex...
    mzansigirl mzansigirl 36-40, F 12 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I have been out of my abusive relationship for many years about 7 years now and it is still something that haunts me. I don’t really have an outlet to talk about it and try and...
    Ruger1212 Ruger1212 31-35, F Oct 1

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    Rewiring Needed! I was wondering today how many people have gone from one poor relationship partner to the next? It seems to me that a lot of us in this group have been with an...
    Artvg Artvg 41-45, F 14 Responses 3 days ago

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    I didn't ********** last night, but I did exchange sexual words with a woman (also in a sexless marriage) on EP last night. We were just about to video chat when her husband came...
    JamesPople JamesPople 51-55, M 4 hrs ago

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    My wife and I got married in our 40's. Neither of us had been married before. We were best friends for a few years before things got serious. She had come from a family with an...
    notsureofanythinganymore notsureofanythinganymore 56-60, M 9 Responses Oct 12

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    My therapist taught me a trick I consider to be pretty damn valuable in these types of dysfunctional marriages. Emotions are all over the place, communication is more effective...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    This is my first time on this website. Everytime I have a night like this, I search for someway to express my feelings. The subject is that I have been in an abusive relationship...
    sfm21 sfm21 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 11

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    Hi all, sexless marriage alumni here checking in with this amazing group of souls with an update. For 11 years I stayed in my sexless, loveless, affectionless, conversationless...
    Stalked9 Stalked9 41-45, F 17 Responses Sep 24

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    I think I just discovered why I ended up in an emotionally abusive controlling marriage. I always thought you had to look at your parent of the opposite sex. For me I think it...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 3 Responses Oct 12

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    It started out fun at first, but then he started being really controlling. He wanted to know where I was all the time and began abusing me verbally. A few months later, it became...
    MadameAG MadameAG 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I am married for 22yrs. My relationship at home is abusive and working has really helped me to become stronger and more independent. I still don't have the confidence to leave but...
    Dinkiel Dinkiel 41-45 Oct 11

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    Come hell or high water I'm done. I'm tired of the excuses, the lies, being blamed, and the gaslighting . I am ready to face I am in an abusive withholding relationship and have...
    selfcompassion selfcompassion 51-55, F 1 Response Sep 22

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    If it wasn't sex it would be something else. At least in my situation. It's not just sex, it's also emotional avoidance, lack of support and disrespect. I think refusing sex is...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 5 Responses Sep 26

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    My house needs so much work, but I am feeling better..more grounded. I accept my marriage was abusive and I allowed someone to abuse me again through neglect and withholding...
    selfcompassion selfcompassion 51-55, F 2 Responses Oct 1

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    I've been feeling stronger and stronger over the last few weeks as I've been focusing less on her abusive behavior and more in my own reactions to it. The only way we can coexist...
    deepbreathneeded deepbreathneeded 36-40, M 14 Responses Oct 2

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    Step by step finding my way out....I have written on here quite a lot about my marriage. He is mentally ill and has been abusive, and now finally I can see my way out. I feel...
    00flyaway 00flyaway 41-45, F 6 Responses Oct 10

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    It's been quite awhile since I have been on here. I guess a lot and not much has changed. Its always as it has been...one step forward and ten steps back. Just when I think...
    imagoodgrl imagoodgrl 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 13

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    The tide is high but I'm holding on I'm gonna be your number one I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that Oh no ..................... Song by Blondie that my brain...
    Harley53 Harley53 56-60, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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