I Am In Recovery

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,110 People

    This year has been full of up's

    and down's for me,specially last few weeks i was miserable and lost cuz of the things i went through,i didn't know we can feel this much pain and still survive,i was full of rage and self destructive urges,all i wanted to was to cry,scream and destroy everything arund me,it was...
    moonii moonii
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 14, 2015

    I have always been lonely.

    I grew up in a small town - actually an island, in Vermont. My hometown does not have any stop lights, or anything like that - about 30% of the roads aren't even paved. I grew up on a dirt road. I didn't have the chance to start skating until I moved out and into a city when...
    Nateindenver Nateindenver
    31-35, M
    1 Response Mar 17

    recovery is hard. sometimes I want to give up.

    the pain takes over my heart and soul and I just want to say **** it!! I've had a hard 4 months...a sponsee went out, I'm struggling with gender identity stuff, my girlfriend broke up with me and a close friend passed away. I miss him so much I hurt every day. on Wednesday I...
    max513 max513
    26-30, F
    4 Responses May 16, 2015

    I am in recovery for alcohol abuse

    as well as drug use. I've been drinking since I was 13 and started doing drugs at 16. When I finally realized I needed help I had been at a party and was drinking heavily and did heroine. I woke up in my own vomit the next day. I've been drug and alcohol free since January.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 24, 2015

    I haven't had a drink

    since March 23, 2008. What an amazing journey it has been!
    Kctaz Kctaz
    41-45, M
    4 Responses Dec 8, 2015

    "Understanding"

    I went to A.A. for a few years, because I had a drinking and drug problem then I got "a belly full of A.A. and a head full of booze (ego)" where there was nothing else to do but get on my knees and start praying whereupon things started to unfold. I was looking around for a...
    StarWanderer StarWanderer
    56-60, M
    May 13, 2012

    Lost thought The thoughts

    that run through my mind. Are like a parent, whose child he can not find. He knows where she is, but no matter. His vision is blocked, by an unseen splatter. Is it pride? Is it sadness? Is it fear? Selfish emotions, his mind doesn't want to hear. Love drives him on, aimlessly...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    Jan 14

    I get to close with people too easy.

    Now I'm being lectured over attempts. Life is too hard but I'm done sitting around waiting for someone. To come save me. I might as well just save myself spirits up recovery mode 100%
    dyingsnowangel dyingsnowangel
    16-17, F
    Mar 28

    I was taken to a psychotherapist by my parents

    and she discovered diagnosed me as anorexic. She put me in a programme and I'm told I'm in recovery. That was in Gibraltar, two and a half years ago. I don't live in Gibraltar anymore, I'm in Holland. Am I still recovering?
    Liebenbergmrl Liebenbergmrl
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Nov 9, 2015

    I lost a chunk of my life due to my alcoholism.

    I am now back in university, almost a decade older than the first years I'm in class with... First lecture in the Intro Psychology course that I'm super excited about taking and the prof uses a case study of the potentially harmful excessive alcohol intake that 'adult' energy...
    kevans1906 kevans1906
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jan 5, 2015

    Mortal combat What are these feelings?

    From where do they come? It's like a million little things, have piled into one. They build up together, in the dark parts of my mind. And gather their fury, in the parts I am blind. How long has it been? Have I not taken care? My ego tells me lies, it keeps me unaware. It...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    Feb 8

    I could never really say I was happy,

    not even as a kid. I am 16 now, and I thought that the depression would last forever. but it didn't, all those times people said "it gets better" I never truly believed them until now. so many beautiful things have come out of recovery. for example, my skin has healed, you can...
    l0nelyb0nes l0nelyb0nes
    16-17, F
    Aug 9, 2015

    Disappointment On a good day,

    when all is well. I have a short story to tell. To get to this point is a story itself. But I will leave that book on the shelf. A day set out, joyous and free. Life in the moment, is what it may be. The moment is now, but I can't help to dwell. On a moment past, and my...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    Jan 8

    abd I'm addicted to zanax

    and opiates and we almost lost very
    AJFORCE AJFORCE
    26-30, F
    Jan 22

    One year since I have had a drink of alcohol.

    One year since I had gotten into a car accident that changed my life. I ran my car through a bar. I was blacked out the whole night. Luckily I hurt no one and I survived. I was a mess for quite some time after that. But I am finally learning to love myself and grow from...
    ladylonewolf89 ladylonewolf89
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Aug 22, 2015

    After four months in a inpatient treatment

    program I am now back out and on my own. Although the program was not the best, it served its purpose and I am very grateful for the help. I have five months sober today (woot, woot!) and I certainly in part owe that to the program. I am also very active in AA and can attribute...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    1 Response Mar 2

    You took my hand as we walked into the forest

    together. You promised me you would be with me forever. It was fine for a while. Then I saw you start to wander. Then the storm came. It rained for what seemed like days. We took shelter in a near by shed. Once the rain let up I made my way out. The first breath of fresh are was...
    Beautifullybeloved Beautifullybeloved
    18-21, F
    Feb 13

    I am here because my drinking made me do

    something terrible on Saturday night. I was out with my friends who had come out to celebrate me, my twin brother and his girlfriend moving into our beautiful new flat. We were so happy and had everything to live for. I was with my girlfriend of two months, her friends and...
    poirob poirob
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Nov 11, 2014

    I used to shoot heroin into my veins many times

    a day. I actually relished the sweet sting of the needle, as it punctured it's way into my being. I used for years, and I used DEEPLY. I loved heroin, and I discussed with other addicts (mostly with people who now HAVE died, very sad to say) that the ONLY reason I did not take...
    Nateindenver Nateindenver
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Mar 2

    The struggle is so real.

    People who aren't like us don't understand or get us.
    virtusethonor virtusethonor
    31-35, M
    Jan 18

    I am addicted to meth.

    I have only been doing it for 2 years now, yet lost so much because of speed. I've lost over 100lbs, my clothes still don't fit. Four furbabies (3 dogs, 1 cat) all died within weeks of each other, lost many friends, and did a lot of damage to my own family. I'm starting on the...
    chellio13 chellio13
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 4

    Sober date 8/27/09 and living a good life,

    thanks to AA, the 12 step program of recovery, the beautiful people who are in my life today, the Grace of a God who is very personal to me. Imagine... Today I can be a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend... All because I joined a group, got a sponsor, went through...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jul 14, 2015

    Last year, if you look through my various posts,

    I was depressed. I honestly thought about ending my life various times and it was hell. I'd rather not elaborate, just look at my posts now. It's now been about a year since everything bad happened and I would just like to say to all those struggling.. it does get better. But...
    AriannaMariee AriannaMariee
    18-21, F
    Jan 11, 2015

    Recovery is great, but don't expect things to

    be perfect when things get better. You will still have bad thoughts, you will still have bad urges, you will still feel bad sometimes. And that's okay. Allow it to happen, try not to act on the bad things and let it pass. Try not to see recovery as some great future moment...
    MissQueenB MissQueenB
    22-25, F
    Feb 14

    I'm slowly starting to realize I'm more

    than capable of being safe in my own skin. I don't need anyone to protect me anymore because I can protect myself. That doesn't mean I don't need want people to stop it just means at night when I have a nightmare I can make myself safe. And all I have to do is remind myself God...
    Beautifullybeloved Beautifullybeloved
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Sep 25, 2015

    I was sober for 7 years

    until last August. Life's headaches,hassels, and horseshit became so overwhelming that I fell off the wagon big time. Will I ever be able to overcome addictions?
    geauxsox geauxsox
    41-45, M
    4 Responses May 21, 2015

    The Heart I have loved

    and been loved in many ways. I have had a deep and profound love for things good, and bad for my soul. Some love teaches, and some makes me senseless. Love has made me feel more alive than I have ever felt, and love has taken me to the darkest places that I have ever been. They...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    Dec 26, 2015

    I want to go out, cut loose &

    and get completely **** faced but, I'm my worst enemy and like potato chips I can't stop at one. (of anything). I'm still trying to learn how to have fun without some form of substance. I took my kids bowling for my sons 18th birthday. That was the first time I had ever bowled...
    berntoblack berntoblack
    46-50, F
    4 Responses Jul 22, 2015

    i have depression. i was bullied

    when i was in school. it became so bad, that i had to get homeschooled. this one person, hated me so much and made me feel like i was worthless, not meant to be here, ugly, etc. but i take medicine for it now. i went to a therapist, but i couldn't really tell him everything that...
    courtneythepizzaqueen courtneythepizzaqueen
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Nov 19, 2014
    AJFORCE AJFORCE
    26-30, F
    Jan 22

    I'm thankful that I dint die from an overdose.

    ..but not sure about this whole living AFTER addiction thing.
    jetblacksoul jetblacksoul
    13-15, M
    Mar 5

    I'm trying to recover from cutting

    and making myself throw up… It's so hard to do alone but I have a determination not to reach out to people because I feel guilty for it… I'll get there eventually though, I just have to keep fighting
    musicismyworld16 musicismyworld16
    16-17, F
    Apr 8

    I've been clean for 3 years.

    But... I could really use a blade right now
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses May 16, 2015

    The future of the past.

    I have to remember, when I am deep in battle. And the odds are against me, not to get rattled. To stay pure of heart, and clear of mind. When I fight with myself, to myself I am unkind. It is the past, and the future my foes. They remind me, of fear and of time long ago. When...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    Jan 20
    ITn3v3rEnds ITn3v3rEnds
    13-15, F
    1 Response Feb 1

    This morning I woke up,

    and felt different. Way different than I ever have before. For once this morning when I woke up I actually felt important. I made some new friends who are recovered anorexics, and self-harmers. I feel less alone. For once having a knife on me doesn't let me have something to...
    BlondeGirlBunny BlondeGirlBunny
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jul 21, 2014

    I smoke. I don't do it inside

    for the sake of my daughter, but it calms me. I know, all the experts say differently, but it does. I have been trying to stop, but it never works. I just... I need help.
    vintagequxxn vintagequxxn
    26-30, F
    1 Response May 15, 2015

    Im trying to recover.

    From cutting. I've been a week two days an 18 hours clean. Im proud but scared.
    oreomine12 oreomine12
    13-15, F
    3 Responses Dec 8, 2015
    AJFORCE AJFORCE
    26-30, F
    Jan 22

    It has been 4 months

    since my mother passed. To me it seems like 4 years. I have been through a lot in these months. A range of emotions and feelings. Many experiences both good and bad. I have been through bouts of alcoholism and sobriety. Discovered flaws and strengths in my own thinking. And in...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Dec 1, 2015

    I will have 90 days soon

    and it feels really good. This is usually the time that I falter in my recovery. I have a good job. And am starting to stabilize in life. This time around I have found that I am much more committed and recognize that even though I feel good now I have a long road ahead of me...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    Dec 28, 2015

    Hey friends. I just wanted to share with you

    the liberation I feel from taking steps towards a healthy life. I have been through emotionally traumatic instances in my life, and it has been the hardest thing trying to pull myself up and forward. But let me tell you, there is nothing more rewarding than succeeding in what...
    Kimbahbay Kimbahbay
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jul 17, 2014

    I had a blood clot in my brain 7mos ago

    that made me right-sife paralyzed.slowly recovering but I believe I am progressing well and is on the foad to full recovery
    Suestrong Suestrong
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 25, 2015

    I'm recovering from a break up It took all my

    energy and broke my self esteem I was mentally, physically and emotionally abused I have been broken intown u pieces. I listen to affirmations and inspirational videos on you tube. I loved him so much I forgot that I was important to. It's now getting easier because I've...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Aug 12, 2015

    I have been self harming

    since I was 13. I will be 19 in February. I haven't been able to use a knife without thinking about slitting my wrists, not even a kitchen knife. I haven't cut for a couple months now but I still couldn't use a knife without having images of slitting my wrists flashing through...
    LangisMonster LangisMonster
    18-21, F
    Jan 12

    Good morning ☺️ Today is a good day.

    For now. ☺️ Today is one of those very rare days I actually looked in the mirror and into my own eyes before I put on my make up. I feel beautiful. And this time I didn't need to eat just enough to avoid feeling dizzy. Or get drunk. Or cry my eyes out at night. All I had...
    KILLsonia KILLsonia
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Sep 22, 2015

    seven months S.H clean:-) i don't usually

    broadcast it on social media but i'm pretty proud for going from not being able to stay a week clean to now!
    alltimeaddie alltimeaddie
    16-17, F
    2 Responses May 25, 2015

    I am 41 and have suffered from anorexia

    since I was 17. I had a bad relapse last year that involved anorexia with self harm. I went into residential treatment from Jan to May. I struggle everyday. I attend 12 step meetings but am always looking for more support. Self harm is my biggest struggle currently.
    fieldsofgold74 fieldsofgold74
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Nov 25, 2015

    Just celebrated 14 rough years And ep staff

    deletes me On a bogus charge
    OddButResilient OddButResilient
    46-50, M
    Feb 10

    I've been in therapy

    for alcoholism for 5 years now and I keep relapsing. It's really hard and I have a little girl to support. It's kinda hard when your fiancé has got problems too. The thing I hate most is when people assume you're a deadbeat with no job and you're a terrible person in general...
    retroholliday retroholliday
    26-30, F
    4 Responses May 15, 2015

    People suffering from mental illnesses

    or disorders will tell you that it is not something you can just get over, even if you try to work hard towards recovery. I guess dealing with fighting these battles, you have to work through different stages of handling the changes, and emotions revolving around mental illness...
    MissQueenB MissQueenB
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 11

    To pick myself up after each set back….

    ohhh how resilient. Sounds dark? Perhaps I am in such a mood. Swirling oceans, the red river flows from me and I'm a bunch of bouncing hormones, in a few days time the red will cease and I'll return to my less hormonal self.
    helmsdeep helmsdeep
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Feb 2

    Hidden beneath My life

    once was fun, or at least that's what I thought…… The truth is, in a tangled web was I caught. Half truths and lies, ingrained in my brain. That led me to believe, I was winning this game. But as I look back, I have a theory. On why I believe, that life became so dreary. I...
    Luke5150 Luke5150
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 17
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