I Am Jamaican

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,245 People

    Jamaicanology

    A jamaican boat man and a tourist were out crusing the river one day. The tourist being very educated turned to the boat man and asked"do u know Biology, Geology, Physcology or Criminalogy?" The poor boat man says"NO SIR", being rude the tourist replies"then what the hell you...
    ALifeInterupted ALifeInterupted
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 28, 2013

    I love my Jamaican genes,

    you can tell just by looking at me. Don't you think?
    mstv1112 mstv1112
    18-21, F
    4 Responses May 30, 2015

    Technically only half.

    My dad was born and raised in Jamaica then immigrated to Canada with his mom. My mom is white
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Aug 15, 2015

    Love reggae! ( black uhru; Sponji Reggae.

    ..favorite song!) Red, green, yellow, and black are my favorite colors. I can speak creole as well!
    BrokenGirl973 BrokenGirl973
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jul 12, 2014

    Being Jamaican means I can say things like yow

    da Sunday ya ago mawd pan a big man level an nobody nah go know weh me seh😁🇯🇲🇯🇲✌🏾️
    only1Ron only1Ron
    18-21, M
    1 Response Oct 25, 2015

    Dumb Blonde

    A man walks into a pub with his pet alligator. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He’ll then...
    ALifeInterupted ALifeInterupted
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 28, 2013

    The Jamaican On A Ship

    On a ship an American, an English man, and a Jamaican were sailing. Suddenly the Devil appeared and said, "Drop something in the sea; if I find it I will eat you ... If I can't, then I will be your slave!" The American dropped a diamond. The Devil quickly found it and ate him...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Apr 21, 2012

    i am born and raised in the US

    both of my parents are jamaican... i visit jamaica when i can...but im cultrally diverse...so when im there i feel house of place but at home at the same time >~< its wierd..?? ???. ..
    disishkay disishkay
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Jun 20, 2015

    Is there any Jamaican woman here

    that lives on the east coast, or in the NYC area?
    MAROONTRIBE MAROONTRIBE
    41-45, M
    Jul 8, 2014

    Jamaican Vs American English!

    USA: It's been a long time since I have seen you girl... .JAM: Gyal, you noh dead yet? USA: Oh Lord, we have lost electricity again. JAM: Lawd Gad... current lock awff again to rahtid! USA: This meal is not too bad JAM: Di food cyan eat USA: Where did you buy that awful...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses May 18, 2012

    Whaa gwan mi dupes? A weh mi baan?

    In America.Mi na come fram foreign. So mi a Yankee gyal. I'm American.I'm only part Jamaican on mi madda's side, but I still like to have fun speaking patois. I know a lot of real Jamaicans and they are fun, cool, happy, people, with good vibes and very laid back. Just ire all...
    Outofeden Outofeden
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Oct 13, 2014

    Jamaican & Trini - Look In De Freezer

    A Jamaican and a Trinidadian, waiting at the pearly gate, strike up a conversation. How yu dead?" the Trinidadian man asked the Jamaican. "Me freeze to death man," says the Jamaican. "That's awful, how it feel fi freeze to death?" asked the Trinidadian. "Well bredda it very...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 21, 2012

    I'm half Jamaican both my parents were born in

    Jamaica, but I was born in America.
    woahfooddd woahfooddd
    16-17, F
    1 Response May 4, 2014

    I am so Jamaican - I remember bully beef,

    hard dough bread in the morning for breakfast. I am so Jamaican - I remember roasting Jack Fruit seed. I am so Jamaican - I walked barefoot and climbed Tamarind trees.
    MAROONTRIBE MAROONTRIBE
    41-45, M
    Jul 25, 2014

    Snake In The Pants

    A girl posted an advertisment in the newspaper sayin.I NID A HUSBAND WHO WIL NEVA BEAT ME,LEAVE ME AND WILL SATISFY ME IN BED...the next day,a drunk man with no legs and arms knocked her door. Girl:what do u want? Man:i want to be ua husband Girl:u dont fit for that. Man:i have...
    ALifeInterupted ALifeInterupted
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 28, 2013

    1/2 Jamaican And I Love It

    wah gwan! yep i'm half jamaican and i'm proud of it listening to my grandmother tell me stories and the history of such a rich culture makes me appreciate being apart of it even more from the patois to the dutty wine the mannish water and all i love it and wouldnt change it for...
    ayooxjaelyn ayooxjaelyn
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 4, 2013
    floralvails floralvails
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 5

    Jamaican Lawyer Joke

    Jamaican lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they're not prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Falmouth small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman named Miss Ivy to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Miss Ivy do...
    ollifer ollifer
    36-40, F
    1 Response Feb 15, 2011

    Right Mon,

    Dis place a mi born. Dis mi second home tah where mi live now truth! Okay let me stop, so I'm Jamaican, my whole family is. I was the last person born in Jamaica out of my family :]. But we all moved, and we all still visit Jamaica every now and then... but we're all Jamaican...
    WiltingBlossom WiltingBlossom
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 4, 2010

    My parents are Jamaica

    and mover to the US about a year before I was born. Some of the stuff that they did seemed so backwards to me. It was like living in two different worlds, but I'm glad my parents are who they are and I'm proud that they are from Jamaica.
    cthunder06 cthunder06
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Feb 2, 2014

    Black and Proud

    This poem was inspired by Genesis 1:26 and 27     Lord, Lord, Why did you make me black? Why did you make me someone the world wants to hold back?   Black is the colour of dirty clothes; the colour of grimy hands and feet.   Black is the colour of darkness...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Jan 2, 2009

    But I am very British,

    I used to be embarrassed but it's just who I am.
    Indigololly Indigololly
    36-40, F
    Jun 12, 2015

    I live in Portmore and I go to Jamaica College

    (it's a high school not an actual college)
    TheeMartinez TheeMartinez
    18-21, M
    Nov 13, 2014

    Run Fat Boy, Run!

    A fat man saw advertisement "lose 5kg in a week". He called & said I would like to join! The lady in charge said to him Lady: Ok! Be ready tomorrow at 6am. Next morning, the fat man gets to the office and he was taken to a room. He opens the door & finds a hot babe with...
    ALifeInterupted ALifeInterupted
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 28, 2013

    White Gal

    Jamaica is first on my list of places to visit! I need a recipe for jerk chicken too
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Oct 28, 2013

    "only In Jamaica "

    Only in Jamaica, citizens have to protect police from gunman. Only in Jamaica, you'll have police cars parked at rum bars. Only in Jamaica, can people strike everyday just not to go to work. Only in Jamaica, gal fat up demself wid foul pill and bleach out dem skin wid toothpaste...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response May 18, 2012
    alaskaboy21 alaskaboy21
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Nov 9, 2015

    Blackmail

    A Jamaican man became desperate after praying to god to help him, so he decided to write to god instead. He wrote "gad mi tiad fi pray an yuh nah ansa mi sometime mi wanda if you caan hear mi suh mi tink it betta if mi write yuh caa mi kno yuh wi read it. Gad mi bruk an only a...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Aug 21, 2012

    I'M Half Jamaican

    I am a lot if stuff lol ok so my mothers family is Jamaican but my grandparents moved to England and had their kids there and my mom was born their but her heritage is Jamaican . My mother mother is maroon decent ( African tribe who were runaway slaves and moved to the islands...
    Loving1234 Loving1234
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 2, 2013

    10 Annoying Behaviors Of Jamaicans

    #10 IF YOU GIVE/HELP YOU ARE THE BOSS!..MI RATE YUH/ A GOOD YUTE MAN, ..IF YOU DONT..YUH MEAN RASS..GWEH!! ..D F*CKA MEAN!!..."YAH PU55YHOLE"..GWEH!! MEK SURE YOU NUH ASK MI FI NOTTEN!! #9."KISS DEM TEETH" @ ANYTHING DEM CANT BADDA WID..EVEN DEM BOSS! #8. QUICK FI TELL ANYBODY...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    7 Responses Aug 21, 2012

    Getting To Know You

    I was told by my paternal grandmother that my greatgrandfather came from J'ca to Florida. No one knows if this is true, I do know, that the first time I landed in MoBay, I really felt as if I were home. Like I never felt it before or since. I am African-American, but I feel...
    JahDawta JahDawta
    41-45
    2 Responses May 15, 2010

    I am a proud Jamaican!

    Born and raised. There's nothing like having great culture, value, and discipline.....and can't forgot about the good GOOD food. I had Ackee and Saltfish for breakfast with fried dumpling, and chocolate tea... I'm happy that I also have a man that is also of Jamaican...
    Rastagyal Rastagyal
    22-25, F
    Sep 17, 2015
    tasea tasea
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Sep 27, 2014
    Zavia93 Zavia93
    22-25, M
    Aug 15, 2014

    Actually I am Jamerican.

    I'm sure many are familiar with the term.Im the only American born in my home but Identify more with Jamaican culture.All of my friends are Jamaican or Jamerican.It may sound strange but I just don't feel I can really connect with black American culture.Its kind of strange...
    Jamericangal Jamericangal
    31-35, F
    1 Response Apr 27, 2014

    Both my parents are from Jamaica

    and I was born in DC
    MarjorieLoretta MarjorieLoretta
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jun 24, 2015
    Crywolf9 Crywolf9
    22-25, M
    May 5, 2015

    Is skateboarding popular in Jamaica?

    I didn't see any skateboarders when I lived there.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Nov 6, 2014

    My biological grandfather was born

    and raised in Jamaica
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Nov 11, 2015
    tugboatcaptain tugboatcaptain
    16-17, F
    1 Response Feb 11, 2015
    tatianaxo tatianaxo
    13-15, F
    3 Responses Mar 19, 2015

    You know your Jamaican

    when your child ask you to sharpen a pencil an you do it with a knife.
    Litiia Litiia
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Feb 14, 2014

    I am not Jamaican, but my ex-boyfriend was half.

    I experienced quite the heartbreak when our relationship was forced to end (I went to college). It's been a month and some change since we split, and I must admit - it is the sex I miss the most. He was wonderfully attentive, yes, but most importantly, he was wonderfully good at...
    Dreambrother Dreambrother
    18-21, F
    Sep 25, 2015

    Although 'born British' my dad's from St

    Elizabeth and my mom's from Claredon. I embrace my heritage and culture.
    carmaletta carmaletta
    26-30, F
    1 Response Oct 12, 2015

    Impossible

    A 90 year old man marries an 18yr old woman and goes to a doctor. MAN: My 18 year wife is pregnant, your opinion doctor? Dr Blaze: ok, Let me tell you a story..A hunter in a hurry, grabs an umbrella instead of a gun. He moves into the jungle, sees a lion, lifts the umbrella...
    ALifeInterupted ALifeInterupted
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 28, 2013
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