Post

I Am Leaving a Sexless Marriage

one path from the "I Live in a Sexless Marriage" EG 636 People

    Five Days Gone--dealing With Mourning.

    So, it's been five days since the STBX moved out. Sleep and I haven't been speaking to each other much, except when I've come to a point of complete and utter exhaustion. Then I'll fall into more of a coma-like state, empty of dreams, until I jerk awake filled with more nervous...
    msdamgoode msdamgoode 41-45, F 9 Responses Aug 10, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Epiphanies Galore

    Yesterday was a day of breakthroughs. I had my first counseling session. So did he. In mine, I slowly detailed how the “decoupling” occurred. I mentioned some key events that were catalysts to the “decoupling.” She asked a lot of questions relating to our 20-year...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 9 Responses Apr 12, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Yes, I Am Happy About It!

    I never thought the idea of divorce would make me happy.  In fact, I thought about it a number of times and would always say in my head or to others that I don't really want a divorce.  Divorce is hard.  Divorce is difficult for children.  Divorce is the...
    Pinkberry Pinkberry 36-40, F 14 Responses Feb 11, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My separation... I have been doing this a

    crazy way. I had continued to do his laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, dry cleaning, etc. I did not want him to feel abandoned. Meanwhile, I live in an apartment with few furnishings, and he is living in our house. Did he care about me? No, he said look what you have done...
    frspch frspch 46-50, F 6 Responses Mar 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Determination Brings About Change

    It has been awhile since I wrote a story on my progress in leaving a marriage that has been on its last legs for many years. I have talked to supportive friends and family members ad nauseum about this draining life here in a house empty of all good emotions. I came...
    dartist dartist 56-60, F 32 Responses Sep 1, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's been over three years

    since I last had sex. She finally admitted in therapy that she doesn't like much about me and that we would be better off divorced. We're in the process of divorcing and I am truly excited that I will once again have a sex life. I was true to her for 30 years. Time to play! I...
    BoyGod BoyGod 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Baby Steps Towards Divorce

    Just in case anyone suspected this was a quick process... I've just got through another cycle with my solicitor. He approves of my "verification of the truth of the petition" - with particular emphasis on the input for box 6, where I have to vouch for a degree of separateness...
    londonwestman1 londonwestman1 51-55, M 4 Responses Oct 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Moving On And Hopefully Up!

    I came to the decision to separate from my wife while were apart this Christmas. I have been looking into the details and am not sure if we should separate first to cool off, ot just outright divorce. I don't see our relationship going anywhere... But I hurt for the 16 years we...
    cvann5 cvann5 51-55, M 6 Responses Jan 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Being At Peace With The Decision

    There are times that I really wonder if divorcing my wife is the right thing to do. I would really like to live out that dream of happily ever after with her. The sad truth is, though, that I really don't want the same relationship that we HAD! We were miserable a great deal of...
    cvann5 cvann5 51-55, M 3 Responses Jul 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What Doesn't Kill You....

    I look back to how my life was a month ago and cannot believe how sad it was. Staring outside of my window out into the streets of Bamberg, Germany, I longed for the life i could be missing out on; instead, i was conformed to a sexless marriage. I thought about how i wanted to...
    FearfulandFree FearfulandFree 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Very unhappily married

    and no sex now for 9yrs ! I told my husband we need to decide once we sale the house the route of our marriage I told him we can stay friends since we have kids.. He answer we been friends for years now ! Anyway we are very unhappy in this marriage & I can't keep on living...
    Unhappilylonely Unhappilylonely 41-45, F 6 Responses Apr 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So Confused

    I have been married for almost 10 years. We were married in our mid 30's and after waiting for what seemed like forever I met my husband and we had a wounderful beginning. My husband is an alcholic and I knew this when I married him but over the last 3 years its been getting...
    bjbsipe bjbsipe 46-50, F 7 Responses Nov 21, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    2 More Months Until Court

    After 16 years of marriage, I can now see light at the end of a very long and boring tunnel. This sad story started in Greeley Colorado and will end in Dayton Ohio. I am sad to see my friend move on to a different part of my life, but am hopeful of finding someone more compatible...
    cvann5 cvann5 51-55, M Jul 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He's Halfway Gone

    Today - the day my H was supposed to start moving out - I found him this morning playing on the computer, no significant packing done.  I cancelled my appointments at work, cut off the Internet at our house (I'm the techie around here) and started...
    Chai07 Chai07 51-55, F 7 Responses Dec 4, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Glad I Had The Guts To Leave

    After not having sex for almost 8 years in a marriage of 3 decades, I finally decided that I deserved more than a husband who was nothing but a courteous roommate. I realized that I would rather be poor and single than to stay in a marriage with a man who never touched me, and...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 11 Responses Sep 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Inside The Process: Part The First...I Am Sure There Will Be Others

    well...its happening...I am leaving...not in a rush, with a thunderstorm's worth of drama, nor without regrets. But gradually - bit by bit and with some sadness, and many pangs as I start to dismantle our life together.  He knows now; the why - and the when - and the how. We...
    deleted deleted 26-30 30 Responses Feb 6, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Looking To The Future, Stuck In The Now

    I am unashamedly looking for support today. I attended a baseball game with my stbx last night. (He insists we go together, as we paid quite a bit of money for these season tickets.) I thought things were going well, despite the dark mood he’s been in the last two days. Our...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 13 Responses Apr 19, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Moving Forward And Alimony

    I am finally leaving a sexless marriage. It is giving so much freedom to do so many things I have wanted to do. And not one of them is sexual! I have freedom to watch my own movie, leave the dishes undone and put off the laundry for a couple of hours. I can enjoy TIME. He...
    golferel golferel 41-45, F 5 Responses Sep 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This is the story of my life right now

    and I'm beginning to feel like the crazy guy in the back seat. I guess my love has died... http://vimeo.com/m/18222641
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 6 Responses Dec 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Woooooh Hoooooh! After Nine Months Of Limbo And Hell (ending a ten year relationship), I Can Officially Join The Group!

    I just left my husband. I am no longer in the ILIASM! Woooh Hooh! Last night, I had a young guy friend over (completely platonic) and we danced to my prom song from 1989 and I got picked up and thrown around! And, then my other guy friend came over and we all watched a movie. And...
    rosedl rosedl 41-45, F 9 Responses Jan 6, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    18 Years ...19years? 20 Years No!

    Hi everyone. I posted the story below in I LIVE IN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE a few minutes ago. I Thought it belonged on this site as well. My first post in the experience project. I've been reading things for a few months in "I live in a sexless marriage." Thank you everyone with...
    pos1987 pos1987 46-50, M 2 Responses Mar 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How I Got Out - Please Share How You Did.

    I am in the process of getting out now—many thanks to this site. After joining the forum last year and reading enough stories to depress the hell out of me I decided to do something about it. After 6 years of excuses, 6 months of couples therapy, hundreds of empty promises and...
    tangel000 tangel000 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 30, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Little Deaths Of The Soul And Then....

    A marriage dies in bits and pieces. The first betrayal comes as a surprise and one is left feeling alone and dismayed. You know that you are doing your best and someone tells you that you are the wife that sleeps in every morning without them knowing that you have been up...
    dartist dartist 56-60, F 36 Responses Jun 12, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Worries

    As I leave my sexless marriage, there are some worries that I have, with regards to sex.They are the usual ones.Am I good enough?Will I know what to do?Have I forgotten everything?Do I mention my SM history?Will he reject me?I go over the same questions, round and round with no...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 24 Responses Jan 27, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Heard this today on (don't judge) Grey's Anatomy

    and it was one of those moments that something resonates with you. "Staying married out of obligation--that's no way to live, that's no way to love." For me that's it. I have respected & honored my husband and the vows we took. But I no longer am willing to allow them or him...
    4hopefloats 4hopefloats 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Please Explain This To Me

    My lady friend just filed divorce. they were married for 16 years, both works good job, no children. The husband was cheating, she caught it and she wants out. When I brought up the idea of a second chance, she open up her heart to me for the first time. According to her...
    hyrok40 hyrok40 36-40, M 10 Responses Dec 13, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have set the date to leave.

    18th November 2014. Feeling very excited but very worried about how I will break it to my h when the time comes. I haven't had good experiences when I have ended a relationship so any thoughts of what not to do/say would be really appreciated
    missblueskies missblueskies 36-40, F 10 Responses Jan 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Shedding 140 Lbs. Of Negativity

    I am a few months into the legal process of leaving my sexless marriage...with another three to four months ahead of me. Emotionally, I left years ago. Now, as I go through the divorce dance, I find myself questioning how the hell I stayed with this man for so many years. A...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 12 Responses May 19, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My h left on Monday suddenly

    and of his own decision. It all felt very surreal but now feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. However he is continuing to manipulate me. Messaging me last night to tell me he is staying at a friends and will be homeless in 2 days. Ringing me today to tell me...
    missblueskies missblueskies 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Death By A Thousand Cuts

    It's been over 30 years.  We've been through so much together, raised two children, and have created such a rich shared history.  I don't regret my marriage.  I just don't want to live like this for the next 30 years. For the last 10 years I've tried to fix our intimacy.  I...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 22 Responses Aug 23, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Casting - Couples With Marriage Troubles

    ARE YOU SEPARATED BUT STILL LIVING WITH YOUR SPOUSE? Is your Marriage in Trouble and are you BOTH Considering Dating other people? We are looking for Married Couples who have hit a rough patch in their marriage and are still living together. Have you Grown Apart from your...
    MPCasting23 MPCasting23 26-30, F Nov 25, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wanderlust? Hmmm...

    I find myself at an interesting juncture in my life. Having been so sure of what I needed to do for all of a week, I had a particularly attractive thought this morning. Last Saturday I told my wife that I would be moving out of the house and I've been looking for a new place to...
    Iamhere4me Iamhere4me 36-40, M 29 Responses Jun 18, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Not Too Long Before "D" Day..

    So, I filed for divorce last week, and tomorrow i will see my soon-to-be ex-husband "T" since he is on leave for the next two weeks from Germany. I am not sure how to feel about this, as it has been nearly 6 months since i last saw him. We are going to the courthouse to deal with...
    FearfulandFree FearfulandFree 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 26, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Question To The People Who Have Left Their Sm...

    How did the years of rejection affected you? For me, I am struggling with my self esteem. I am finding it hard to feel and look sexy, I really feel like an ugly duckling. When I think about sex or love making I feel scared. Even kissing, I feel that maybe I have forgotten how to...
    newdawn07 newdawn07 41-45, F 13 Responses Oct 6, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dose This Mean I Love My Wife Less

    I am a person who feels someone can love more than one person. Strange? I still love my ex-wife just being honest. I still love all of my ex-girlfriends. There are many longtime woman friends I love and have never slept with, but I love them! I've Been married for 12 yrs my wife...
    magicwriter49 magicwriter49 51-55, M Aug 10, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Alone

    Well, it finally hit me. After three days of his absence I feel completely, absolutely, and utterly alone. It started last night, after he dropped off the things he mistakenly moved. He left his keys and garage door opener, as well. I think I've seen the last of him for a while...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 12 Responses Jul 21, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Deluded Had I Been!

    Mentally, I have already left my sexless marriage.Technically, I still have things to work out and for the time being, I'm staying in the same house with my husband.So currently, my life is like this.We stay in separate rooms.I cook and clean for all of us.I take care of my son...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 22 Responses Mar 6, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Need To Grieve

    Marrying is a large part of many people's aspirations, goals and overall life plans. It becomes a great expectation, one might say. When a couple marries, they go through it with great hopes, excitement and plans. Lots of dreams are attached to the idea of marriage. When that...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 18 Responses Mar 21, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Triggers

    I am slowly discovering my emotional triggers. My marriage to my ex was rotten with control. I had to do everything with him. He determined what it was that we "enjoyed." He determined the when, where, and how of my life. He determined my boundaries. Anyway, back to those...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 9, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Where Did I Go Wrong ?

    My wife and I are both 65. We are fit and well and have been married for 42 years. I think I have been a good husband have never cheated. We have one unmarried son 34. We live in a quiet part of the country in the UK. I am contemplating leaving her and I ask for your views. My...
    germane germane 61-65, M 6 Responses Feb 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Stuck In The Middle

    I married my friend. I've been with him for over a decade years. I thought because he was stable, kind, loving, reliable and an amazing father, I'd love him. Now, I am in a sexless marriage. We love one another have children and turns out my DH has a crippling case of anxiety...
    5 Responses Jan 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It Was Worth It!

    Hey everyone! I haven't been on this board for quite a while but just wanted to give everyone an update. I'm 4 months of 6 into my separation and it was totally worth it. Me and the W are still amicable save for a few incidents but all in all I feel lucky there's no mud flinging...
    loyalguy loyalguy 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When To Leave A Sexless Marriage?

    Am I afraid? Or am I hanging onto values drilled into me all my life such as commitment and responsibilities and using them as an excuse? How many of you have stayed in a sexless marriage because of uncertainty, whether that uncertainty is due to fear of hurting those closest to...
    StayorGo1861 StayorGo1861 56-60, M 7 Responses Aug 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Moving Day

    I awoke around 6 am. I heard him rustling in the master bedroom...soon to be MY bedroom. I told myself, "keep it together today, kiddo, you're almost through this." We made it through a peaceful breakfast. He ate quickly so he could attend to the last-minute packing of clothes...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 10 Responses Jul 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Should I Leave My Sexless Marriage

    I'm considering leaving my marriage due to the fact that we're more friends than husband and wife. At first, when we got together, I thought he was just shy or had been a bachelor too long so he didn't know how things worked. He was romantic but not too intimate. I was married...
    lonelysiren lonelysiren 31-35, F 5 Responses Jun 25, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My marriage has been falling apart

    for a while. We don't connect anymore and now live long distance. I find myself craving affection, but not from him anymore which leaves me empty handed. He says I'll never find a guy that can give me what I need (someone who likes the things I do, is mature, likes conversation...
    GooseOTL GooseOTL 26-30, F 12 Responses Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Court Date Soon

    Got a letter from my attorney....Court date set for July 2nd, 2013....very close to independence day...wonder if there is any correlation?will it "feel different?will my heart be lighter?smile wider?It all feels very surreal...like a dream that feels so real...that when you wake...
    clgsassy clgsassy 56-60, F 5 Responses Jun 3, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My First Day After Leaving!

    I have now separated from my wife of 31 years. The reasons are clearly there; she is disabled and I had become only a caregiver! The transition from husband & friend to caregiver had left me so emotionally drained that I had to leave. I was beginning to loose my mind...
    hamiller hamiller 51-55, M 6 Responses Jul 9, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    On My Own

    Not so long ago I was one part of a relationship. A relationship that suffocated me. No touch. No hold. No giving. No love. A very strange kind of relationship. Especially since I am very warm. And giving. I am grateful she let me go.
    donlino donlino 36-40, M 1 Response Mar 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The End And Beginning

    I am finally leaving my sexless marriage. Too little intimacy and too many tears. It's sad, exciting and sobering but I know it will be the best for the both of us. I thought i'd never get to join this group!
    loyalguy loyalguy 41-45, M 5 Responses Sep 26, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Max

    Our divorce is final next Friday. I am so ready to be rid of his emotionally numb, P-A garbage. Today, for example. He agreed to take Max, our (now my) dog. My truck was loaded up, we were ready to leave. He called, as I slipped the key into the ignition. "Can you get here as...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 4 Responses Sep 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    Does anyone really leave this group without leaving the marriage? I don't think its possible, interested to hear opinions. Thanks.
    meme111111 meme111111 36-40, M 6 Responses 2 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I can't believe it. Over two years and a half years gone....And, let me tell you I have had more sex in these past two years then the twelve years of that relationship combined...
    rosedl rosedl 41-45, F Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My mother passed away peacefully on Monday, March 24, 2014. She had battled long and hard against the ravaging effects of years of smoking cigarettes. The last thing my mother...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 28 Responses Mar 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Psychology Today has a couple of recent articles regarding "Does Sexless marriage justify adultery". The articles are reasonable and informed and the comments worthwhile. They...
    hl42 hl42 51-55, M 8 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Illusions That Kept Me Trapped in Sexless Marriage If you read my first EP story, you will get the impression that the sexlessness started with the conception of my child 4 years...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 7 Responses 14 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel