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I Am Leaving a Sexless Marriage

one path from the "I Live in a Sexless Marriage" EG 649 People

    Wanderlust? Hmmm...

    I find myself at an interesting juncture in my life. Having been so sure of what I needed to do for all of a week, I had a particularly attractive thought this morning. Last Saturday I told my wife that I would be moving out of the house and I've been looking for a new place to...
    Iamhere4me Iamhere4me 36-40, M 29 Responses Jun 18, 2011

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    Separated At Last!

    Excited, nervous, emotional, sad, happy, calm, positive, energised, tearful, concerned, uplifted...........What a mix of emotions!.No regrets, no doubts, no second thoughts..This day is a milestone in my life - a turning point, a fresh start..I will make the most of this...
    MAXwho MAXwho 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 27, 2013

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    Mental Reset - Hi. This is my new home.

    I am divorcing my Refuser and doing my best to engineer a graceful departure. As a good friend once advised me, I strive to "divorce with love - I only have once chance to this right." I've moved beyond the 'why': - Why doesn't he want to have sex with me? - Why doesn't he...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 5 Responses Jun 1

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    Glad I Had The Guts To Leave

    After not having sex for almost 8 years in a marriage of 3 decades, I finally decided that I deserved more than a husband who was nothing but a courteous roommate. I realized that I would rather be poor and single than to stay in a marriage with a man who never touched me, and...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 11 Responses Sep 11, 2013

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    Determination Brings About Change

    It has been awhile since I wrote a story on my progress in leaving a marriage that has been on its last legs for many years. I have talked to supportive friends and family members ad nauseum about this draining life here in a house empty of all good emotions. I came...
    dartist dartist 56-60, F 32 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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    How I Got Out - Please Share How You Did.

    I am in the process of getting out now—many thanks to this site. After joining the forum last year and reading enough stories to depress the hell out of me I decided to do something about it. After 6 years of excuses, 6 months of couples therapy, hundreds of empty promises and...
    tangel000 tangel000 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 30, 2012

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    It's been over three years

    since I last had sex. She finally admitted in therapy that she doesn't like much about me and that we would be better off divorced. We're in the process of divorcing and I am truly excited that I will once again have a sex life. I was true to her for 30 years. Time to play! I...
    BoyGod BoyGod 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 1

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    Five Days Gone--dealing With Mourning.

    So, it's been five days since the STBX moved out. Sleep and I haven't been speaking to each other much, except when I've come to a point of complete and utter exhaustion. Then I'll fall into more of a coma-like state, empty of dreams, until I jerk awake filled with more nervous...
    msdamgoode msdamgoode 41-45, F 9 Responses Aug 10, 2012

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    My marriage has been falling apart

    for a while. We don't connect anymore and now live long distance. I find myself craving affection, but not from him anymore which leaves me empty handed. He says I'll never find a guy that can give me what I need (someone who likes the things I do, is mature, likes conversation...
    GooseOTL GooseOTL 26-30, F 13 Responses Jan 26

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    Well my husband an I have been together 7 years

    married for almost two and it's been over a year of no sex... So I outsourced, husband found out and was ok with it because he knew he wasn't having sex with me... Now I have finally got the nerve to leave my husband... I'm going to be moving into my brothers house with his...
    Gaffa1234 Gaffa1234 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 21

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    Working On It.......

    Sorry all that I haven't been my cheery, mostly smiling self of late but it is where I am at right now. I am filling out the papers and working on getting out of my marriage. We haven't been a couple for a couple of years now, with me traveling and her at home and being away...
    mtvlm mtvlm 41-45, M 14 Responses Dec 4, 2009

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    Shedding 140 Lbs. Of Negativity

    I am a few months into the legal process of leaving my sexless marriage...with another three to four months ahead of me. Emotionally, I left years ago. Now, as I go through the divorce dance, I find myself questioning how the hell I stayed with this man for so many years. A...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 12 Responses May 19, 2012

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    Triggers

    I am slowly discovering my emotional triggers. My marriage to my ex was rotten with control. I had to do everything with him. He determined what it was that we "enjoyed." He determined the when, where, and how of my life. He determined my boundaries. Anyway, back to those...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 9, 2012

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    Baby Steps Towards Divorce

    Just in case anyone suspected this was a quick process... I've just got through another cycle with my solicitor. He approves of my "verification of the truth of the petition" - with particular emphasis on the input for box 6, where I have to vouch for a degree of separateness...
    londonwestman1 londonwestman1 51-55, M 4 Responses Oct 1, 2013

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    Well, I am finally doing it,

    and I know many people who actually gave a **** about me in here will be happy for me. The irony of it all came down to this: after years of him rejecting me; after years of sex always being HIS way on HIS terms, I finally got the courage to say NO to him when all of a sudden he...
    backtovanessabet backtovanessabet 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 18

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    Sexless Marriage

      Dear readers, before my husband wrote something about me. Now I can tell you some things about me, my boy friend and my husband’s relation. Please make comment on this or Email me whether my situation is right or wrong.(sumitomo03@gmail.com) My name is Teena. I am...
    accord accord 36-40, M 7 Responses Nov 8, 2009

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    I have set the date to leave.

    18th November 2014. Feeling very excited but very worried about how I will break it to my h when the time comes. I haven't had good experiences when I have ended a relationship so any thoughts of what not to do/say would be really appreciated
    missblueskies missblueskies 36-40, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    Moving Day

    I awoke around 6 am. I heard him rustling in the master bedroom...soon to be MY bedroom. I told myself, "keep it together today, kiddo, you're almost through this." We made it through a peaceful breakfast. He ate quickly so he could attend to the last-minute packing of clothes...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 10 Responses Jul 18, 2012

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    Dose This Mean I Love My Wife Less

    I am a person who feels someone can love more than one person. Strange? I still love my ex-wife just being honest. I still love all of my ex-girlfriends. There are many longtime woman friends I love and have never slept with, but I love them! I've Been married for 12 yrs my wife...
    magicwriter49 magicwriter49 51-55, M Aug 10, 2013

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    Being At Peace With The Decision

    There are times that I really wonder if divorcing my wife is the right thing to do. I would really like to live out that dream of happily ever after with her. The sad truth is, though, that I really don't want the same relationship that we HAD! We were miserable a great deal of...
    cvann5 cvann5 51-55, M 2 Responses Jul 15, 2013

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    Heard this today on (don't judge) Grey's Anatomy

    and it was one of those moments that something resonates with you. "Staying married out of obligation--that's no way to live, that's no way to love." For me that's it. I have respected & honored my husband and the vows we took. But I no longer am willing to allow them or him...
    4hopefloats 4hopefloats 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 6

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    Down the Rabbit Hole - The end of a marriage is

    such a weird time. Those of us who pull the divorce trigger first engage in a series of covert activities to get our ducks in a row. We meet secretly with lawyers, gather financial records, start looking for a new place to live, worry about the kids, and start picturing a life...
    CherishMe2 CherishMe2 51-55, F 6 Responses Jun 8

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    How Deluded Had I Been!

    Mentally, I have already left my sexless marriage.Technically, I still have things to work out and for the time being, I'm staying in the same house with my husband.So currently, my life is like this.We stay in separate rooms.I cook and clean for all of us.I take care of my son...
    eternalhope eternalhope 36-40, F 22 Responses Mar 6, 2011

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    Leaving... And Not Looking Back..

    When i first tried to Google "sexless marriage" I was just hoping that mine would not fall in that category ( turns out a marriage in which the frequency of sex is less than 10 times a year is termed as sexless marriage) and sadly , our's fell into that category. I have been...
    soulsearchering soulsearchering 26-30, F Jun 23, 2013

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    2 More Months Until Court

    After 16 years of marriage, I can now see light at the end of a very long and boring tunnel. This sad story started in Greeley Colorado and will end in Dayton Ohio. I am sad to see my friend move on to a different part of my life, but am hopeful of finding someone more compatible...
    cvann5 cvann5 51-55, M Jul 7, 2013

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    Casting - Couples With Marriage Troubles

    ARE YOU SEPARATED BUT STILL LIVING WITH YOUR SPOUSE? Is your Marriage in Trouble and are you BOTH Considering Dating other people? We are looking for Married Couples who have hit a rough patch in their marriage and are still living together. Have you Grown Apart from your...
    MPCasting23 MPCasting23 26-30, F Nov 25, 2013

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    Yes I Did!!!

    ...and I haven't felt this good in years!!
    antimatter antimatter 41-45, M 20 Responses Jan 7, 2011

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    How Many F**Ks Could A Mindf**K **** If A Mindf**K Could **** Minds.

    Yeah.So my stbx and I were at a party for a mutual friend.To start off with I got a lot of are you sure you want to do this.You two are such a cute couple.The guys were all talking him up...What a nice guy..etc.I know all this thanks for the info.Well the party ran out of...
    sweetfreedom69 sweetfreedom69 41-45, F 21 Responses May 28, 2013

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    This saying sums it all up.

    Couldn't add anything to it
    firechief601 firechief601 56-60, M 2 Responses May 1

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    My Christmas present to myself.

    I saw a lawyer today and I got things going. He is going to have to move out and I don't care. He can go live with his tramp. She can have him and put up with all of his bs because I am over him and the years of his neglect and abuse. It might be the Chardonnay but all I want...
    FreeNbreezy FreeNbreezy 41-45, F 12 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    Best Decision I Ever Made

    My ex had the sex drive of a nun. We were polar opposites.  I wanted sex twice a day.  She wanted it twice a year - if that.  After 18 years, it was time to call it quits.  I filed.  She was shocked.  Best thing I ever did!  Don't put up with a sex drive mismatch.  Find...
    dtf914 dtf914 41-45, M 8 Responses Mar 26, 2013

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    Seeking Married Couples Considering Dating Other People!! Paid!!

    * Have you Grown Apart from your Spouse, but still Live Together? * Have you hit a rough patch in your marriage, and trying to decide whether to work things out, or move on? * If you are an outgoing and opinionated married couple that have a long-standing argument or issue that...
    CastingMarriedCouples CastingMarriedCouples 26-30, F Oct 22, 2013

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    perezja perezja 36-40, M Jun 26

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    What Doesn't Kill You....

    I look back to how my life was a month ago and cannot believe how sad it was. Staring outside of my window out into the streets of Bamberg, Germany, I longed for the life i could be missing out on; instead, i was conformed to a sexless marriage. I thought about how i wanted to...
    FearfulandFree FearfulandFree 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 28, 2012

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    Little Deaths Of The Soul And Then....

    A marriage dies in bits and pieces. The first betrayal comes as a surprise and one is left feeling alone and dismayed. You know that you are doing your best and someone tells you that you are the wife that sleeps in every morning without them knowing that you have been up...
    dartist dartist 56-60, F 36 Responses Jun 12, 2010

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    "Older married couples

    who still engage in sexual activity are more likely to report happiness in their relationship and with their lives overall than those who have sex infrequently, according to research presented at the Gerontological Society of America’s annual meeting in Boston.... Jackson’s...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 6 Responses Jun 30

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    Death By A Thousand Cuts

    It's been over 30 years.  We've been through so much together, raised two children, and have created such a rich shared history.  I don't regret my marriage.  I just don't want to live like this for the next 30 years. For the last 10 years I've tried to fix our intimacy.  I...
    Annikka Annikka 51-55, F 21 Responses Aug 23, 2011

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    My h left on Monday suddenly

    and of his own decision. It all felt very surreal but now feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. However he is continuing to manipulate me. Messaging me last night to tell me he is staying at a friends and will be homeless in 2 days. Ringing me today to tell me...
    missblueskies missblueskies 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 13

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    Inside The Process: Part The First...I Am Sure There Will Be Others

    well...its happening...I am leaving...not in a rush, with a thunderstorm's worth of drama, nor without regrets. But gradually - bit by bit and with some sadness, and many pangs as I start to dismantle our life together.  He knows now; the why - and the when - and the how. We...
    deleted deleted 26-30 30 Responses Feb 6, 2011

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    Trying to stay positive

    but this in between place of not married but not yet legally divorced, wanting a healthy, loving relationship but not ready for it just plain sucks. Not eloquently stated I realize but that's how I feel for right now. I'm trying to stay focused on the steps to get to my goals...
    4hopefloats 4hopefloats 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 28

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    Woooooh Hoooooh! After Nine Months Of Limbo And Hell (ending a ten year relationship), I Can Officially Join The Group!

    I just left my husband. I am no longer in the ILIASM! Woooh Hooh! Last night, I had a young guy friend over (completely platonic) and we danced to my prom song from 1989 and I got picked up and thrown around! And, then my other guy friend came over and we all watched a movie. And...
    rosedl rosedl 41-45, F 9 Responses Jan 6, 2011

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    Epiphanies Galore

    Yesterday was a day of breakthroughs. I had my first counseling session. So did he. In mine, I slowly detailed how the “decoupling” occurred. I mentioned some key events that were catalysts to the “decoupling.” She asked a lot of questions relating to our 20-year...
    PeachesGalore PeachesGalore 46-50, F 9 Responses Apr 12, 2012

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    This is the story of my life right now

    and I'm beginning to feel like the crazy guy in the back seat. I guess my love has died... http://vimeo.com/m/18222641
    birdie39 birdie39 41-45, F 6 Responses Dec 11, 2013

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    Not Too Long Before "D" Day..

    So, I filed for divorce last week, and tomorrow i will see my soon-to-be ex-husband "T" since he is on leave for the next two weeks from Germany. I am not sure how to feel about this, as it has been nearly 6 months since i last saw him. We are going to the courthouse to deal with...
    FearfulandFree FearfulandFree 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 26, 2013

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    He's Halfway Gone

    Today - the day my H was supposed to start moving out - I found him this morning playing on the computer, no significant packing done.  I cancelled my appointments at work, cut off the Internet at our house (I'm the techie around here) and started...
    Chai07 Chai07 51-55, F 7 Responses Dec 4, 2009

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    Court Date Soon

    Got a letter from my attorney....Court date set for July 2nd, 2013....very close to independence day...wonder if there is any correlation?will it "feel different?will my heart be lighter?smile wider?It all feels very surreal...like a dream that feels so real...that when you wake...
    clgsassy clgsassy 56-60, F 5 Responses Jun 3, 2013

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    The beginning of Oppositeland.

    .. I saw a rainbow. It went from one side of my new apartment to the other. Truly amazing. Two days earlier…1:00 pm and I am at work. Work is my lifeline. I moved out and take care of most of bills. My h called me in his usual way. He sounded hostile and needed...
    frspch frspch 51-55, F 10 Responses Aug 15

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    Should I Leave My Sexless Marriage

    I'm considering leaving my marriage due to the fact that we're more friends than husband and wife. At first, when we got together, I thought he was just shy or had been a bachelor too long so he didn't know how things worked. He was romantic but not too intimate. I was married...
    lonelysiren lonelysiren 31-35, F 5 Responses Jun 25, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Moving on: I am packing up my office and my home this week. I am moving out of state and starting a new job. ( I have posted part of this update a little earlier.) But a posting...
    katzlaw katzlaw 36-40, F 10 Responses Aug 7

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    "I don't like me. I also, despite my outward persona, think I am the most important to ever breathe air." I read this on a blog. It resonated with me, maybe it will resonate...
    jmx46578 jmx46578 36-40, F 10 Responses Aug 6

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    Well here it goes,... I Live in a sexless Marriage! I have never admitted it to anyone. I HATE it!! I have been married for 28 years and I have four kids, 3 college and one in...
    mizazzy mizazzy 46-50, F 24 Responses Aug 16

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    Okay, so I was on here a few days ago and told a little about my situation and history. Most people were harsh and judgmental towards me when I admitted to being the one who...
    Nil0 Nil0 46-50, F 11 Responses Jul 30

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    I just came to EP, looking for solace as a OW. I found myself looking at "I live in a sexless marriage" stories. Made me think, 49k people have something to say. Maybe, just maybe...
    greeneyes41 greeneyes41 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 13