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I Am Living In A Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 284 People

    I love my wife, I do.

    And I'm fairly sure she loves me, but... We've been married for 7 years and while I understand the pressures of being a mother, especially in Japan, and the differences between married live Stateside and here, I've got to face the fact that she isn't interested. Before we were...
    MackieStingray MackieStingray
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 16, 2014

    Am I good wife? I live in reality.

    I'm not perfect and that’s perfectly fine with me. I do my best to be the best that I can be. It's not always easy and it's very easy to get distracted. I am very understanding and was full of self-esteem but the longer things go on the more deflated I feel. I try and not...
    imagoodgrl imagoodgrl
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Jun 18, 2014

    I’ve been reading sexless marriage posts

    for a while now (being in one myself). In a way the experience of reading these posts is like beginning to recognize it as a hydra - the classic many headed monster of Greek mythology. The many different aspects of the experience found in everyone’s posts, are like the...
    ace4444 ace4444
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Sep 26, 2014

    I have been with my fiancée

    for 15 years, I love her greatly and would never break up the relationship, but she has no sex drive. It's mainly for medical reasons, lupus flares, we are talking years of between zero to six times a year. That just and event too, not necessarily the main event. Yes! We have...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Oct 1, 2015

    I started getting impotent in my forties

    and by my fifties it was total. I am now 64 and have not had sex in a long time. I miss it. So does my sweet wife, but even if I was up for it she probably wouldn't be, even tho she is quite a bit younger than I. We do love each other tho and still enjoy each other's company...
    harridan harridan
    66-70, M
    1 Response Nov 6, 2014

    Maybe I shouldn't complain.

    Reading other stories on here makes me think that I don't have it so bad, but in reality, it FEELS like emotional torture. My husband and I are intimate 2-3 times a month. It would probably be less if not for my constantly bringing it up or making remarks like, "It's been 2-3...
    elana29 elana29
    31-35
    3 Responses Jun 25, 2014

    Been gone on vacation

    for about 10 days. It was great to get away. Hubby and I had minimal contact. Pretty much just to check in on my girls. I guess I should be grateful he picked me up at the airport except no "welcome home", no kiss or hug, or "how was vaca". He's already in man town and I'm in...
    imagoodgrl imagoodgrl
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Jun 21, 2014

    Lately it seems as if things are getting to the

    point of me being here to cook, do the laundry and take our son to school, and on trips to amusement parks or anywhere else he needs to go. I feel more like a slave then a husband. She has picks him up from school when I have to be at work, which is about 1-2 a week, taking him...
    Fotoman Fotoman
    46-50, M
    1 Response Apr 23, 2014

    Myself and my husband rarely have sex.

    It's not that he doesn't want to, it's me. I don't like him enough to let him touch me. I feel bad about not performing my wifely duties but I just can't.
    Rae1510 Rae1510
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Apr 1

    Adult attachment disorder sexless

    marriage- Does anyone have any suggestions as to where I can find more information? This describes my husband exactly.
    suedejmac suedejmac
    51-55, F
    1 Response May 17, 2014

    Sexless Marriage

    I live in a sexless marriage with a younger man...a second marriage and doing this one right and now I have to deal with this...never had this problem til now, 7 yrs invested! No one is cheating and no one wants to, just don't know how to fix or can it be fixed? Life and marriage...
    4gotabout 4gotabout
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Apr 2, 2012

    I've been married for 17 years.

    He has help me to raise children from my first marriage and we have 1 of our own. He has medical issues that have lowered his sex drive. This happened in year 3 of our marriage. We had plenty of ways to deal with this. Staying active, cuddling, talking for hours, etc. just...
    CrazyKatLady CrazyKatLady
    46-50, F
    1 Response Jul 20, 2014

    I used to be a very sexual person

    but now, having sex with my husband is so appalling. He treats me like ****. His verbal abuse everyday has made my entire being reject his advances. What am I supposed to do???? Now he is threatening to sleep with other people because he calls me frigid. I know I am not. I still...
    rloves rloves
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Aug 12, 2014

    One final update. No time left to think about it

    or delay. Maybe you remember me if you've been around for a few years, maybe not. If you're new and thinking about getting out, please read my stories while you still can. I'm out. My divorce was final as of the first of the year, but my daughter and I have been living on our...
    Catonapillow Catonapillow
    36-40, F
    1 Response Apr 20

    We haven't been together in a long time.

    She made having sex seem like a chore and I stopped asking because she kept saying no. I love sex and need it daily but that wasn't happening.
    Benchar10 Benchar10
    46-50, M
    4 Responses Mar 15, 2014

    This is more a question

    but I wanted those of you in this category to see it for sure! :) How does this happen you think? It is complacency ? Does the love fade from being in love to just mutual respect because you made a life together? I'm curious how far into your marriages you started to feel...
    megmeg526 megmeg526
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 4, 2014

    Very irritated this evening.

    Husband was on business for the last two weeks, came home last night around midnight. Climbed into bed but was to tired for anything but sleep. Ok, I get that but you could park a car between us. I went to work this morning, came home after the gym and he announced he was going...
    imagoodgrl imagoodgrl
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Apr 25, 2014

    Our child is away with grandparents

    for the next 10 days. I thought we'd have sex because it's one less excuse not to. He worked last night so I didn't try anything b/c I knew he wouldn't be into it. We woke up this morning, fresh from a full night's sleep, and he was lovey dovey talking about how much he loves...
    elana29 elana29
    31-35
    1 Response Jul 7, 2014

    I surprised my wife and made dinner.

    .. I hope it leads to a "reward"
    WigginsEP WigginsEP
    31-35, M
    1 Response Aug 27, 2014

    The Artist Formally Known As Alex0302

    It's Alex, just wanted to let everyone know I'm alright. Had to hastily delete my old profile (long story). The good news is that my wife and I are finally working through things (i.e. we're having real sex again). I don't know if it'll last but for the first time in a long time...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Sep 30, 2013

    In bed next to my wife.

    Wide awake on my phone staring at the ceiling. I tried to initiate, which as usual ended in a series of excuses capped off by her snoring. So I'm laying here, on EP, trying to decide whether to head to the bathroom and dial up some p-rntube, head to the couch in protest or...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 6, 2014

    That moment when you realize your very presence

    does absolutely nothing for him, that he isn't made glad just by being with you, that you will probably never feel what it is like to be desired or to experience a meaningful touch by him again... it's enough to bring you to your knees.
    BrokenChalice BrokenChalice
    36-40
    1 Response Nov 28, 2014

    I'm struck with a big picture thought about

    being in sexless marriages... If sex is not happening regularly with our spouses, WHATEVER they say about it, whatever excuses they might make, the hard fact of the matter is, they currently don't want it for themselves, and they don't want it badly enough for us (meaning...
    ace4444 ace4444
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Sep 10, 2014

    Another of the countless pathetic Friday

    nights going to bed at the same time again, hoping something will happen - even if just charitable on her part, having been strong on the romantic hints recently, while not being pressuring or desperate - when she goes to sleep and I'm left up alone, resorting to the romantic...
    ace4444 ace4444
    41-45, M
    Sep 26, 2014

    It's been a while since I've posted.

    ..However I thought I'd pose an interesting survey question that I've been thinking about. In general, for those who are in a sexless marriage (that you can't or won't leave for whatever reason) that seems to be locking in indefinitely - despite standard efforts at changing...
    ace4444 ace4444
    41-45, M
    1 Response Feb 11, 2015

    I am at my breaking point.

    Is it so much to want to be held or hugged? To be told " everything will be ok,". Ladies, seriously wasn't this part of what we expected from marriage? OK. Well I did. I thought there would be someone beside me. I wake up and turn over there's no one there. I want someone to be...
    Imafreebird Imafreebird
    51-55, F
    1 Response Jun 16, 2015

    Went to therapy today.

    Counselor had some eye opening things to say. I know it's time to move on. I just don't know how or I do know how I guess I am just at a crossroads. Do I try and work on the issues or just cut my losses. A lot of the issues the kids are having have to do with their...
    imagoodgrl imagoodgrl
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Feb 6, 2014

    I have always considered myself a sexual person.

    Before I met my husband, I had slept with a considerable amount of friends with benefits and dates because I LOVED sex and wanted to explore that. It was never drunken because I never drank - I just loved sex. Fast-forward until 21, I got raped on a date. For a long time, I...
    xxmth xxmth
    26-30, F
    Aug 12, 2014

    I haven't yet written about my own on-going

    experience with this, but plan to soon. In the meantime, I came accross this and thought it too good to not share now. http://open.salon.com/blog/and_yet/2009/05/11/ this_is_what_a_sexless_marriage_feels_like
    ace4444 ace4444
    41-45, M
    Sep 8, 2014

    So after 13 years and 3 children later.

    My wife tells me she's no longer in love with me. Hence no sex......tells me she can't continue living this lie. I'd be lying too if I didn't see this coming. I felt myself loosing her slowly and the distance got bigger regardless of how hard t tried to make her happy if try...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Jul 11, 2015

    things got so much better,

    and now they are down the crapper again. pretty sure divorce is right around the corner.
    XeonaSyan XeonaSyan
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jan 26, 2015

    I have recently met a women in a similar

    situation as myself were neither of us are ready to leave the current situation but would both like to be pleased sexually! Well I guess we will see where this road ends up!
    Hutch902 Hutch902
    31-35, M
    Aug 16, 2014

    Here i am again, staring at the ceiling alone.

    .it's been 2 yrs since we had sex..I know he loves me,but he refused to be intimate..there's something wrong with his singsong.We went to the doctor but it didn't work, he refused to go back. I need intimacy, it's crazy but I found solution by watching ****..it's gross coz never...
    luv4get luv4get
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 20, 2014

    Learning To Live In A Sexless Marriage

    A am a 47 year old woman, smart, witty, fun-loving, full of life. So many parts of my life are working well. I have a great job, a great family, great friends. I am a minister in my local church and I am married to a man that cannot express his love or affection towards me. This...
    Numberonerose Numberonerose
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Mar 26, 2012

    my husband stopped having sex with me

    when I moved in. we had a six year marriage and he never consumated it. then he divorced me because an old GF friended him on FB, so he decided she was the love of his life. I am very attractive. I never understood and he would never talk about it. we went to...
    suedejmac suedejmac
    51-55, F
    1 Response May 16, 2014

    I am feeling very alone

    and unloved. It is so embarrassing that my husband doesn't even want to make love to me. He would rather play video games. I called a local pastor to start counseling but won't be available to the beginning of January.
    Purpleapple84 Purpleapple84
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Dec 18, 2014

    I am married to a roommate.

    We have 2 kids together and have been together over 13 years. I feel my life energy has been sucked out of me and it is a daily battle not to become bitter. It's been this way for years and has ruined the pure love I once felt. I feel numb, undesired and alone. I have...
    Courtney4321 Courtney4321
    41-45, F
    2 Responses May 9, 2014

    Hopeless. I've been married

    for 17 years and the last 7 have been miserable. That is when her refusal became nearly 100%. She was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer stage 3c just over 4 years ago. Operations, chemotherapy, and now clinical trials have consumed our relationship since then. Our only break from...
    cameraman1967 cameraman1967
    46-50, M
    Aug 26, 2015
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