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Fresh Poster  | on 11:13PM at Oct 27th, 2007 I am married (for almost 5 yrs now) and I am dealing with being lonely all the time. My husband works like a slave and is never never never home. When he is, he sleeps or sits on the computer all the time. I can't really remember a time that I have been more lonely. I don't have a lot of friends right now, they are all back home. I just wondered if there were any other married people in here that were experiencing the same thing and what types of things were you doing to help. |
| Fresh Poster | on 08:42PM at Nov 1st, 2007 Yep...typical...
I did the same thing about 7-8 years ago with my wife...she cheated on me.
I'm not like that anymore...
I'm not stating to take it to that extreme, but if it bothers you, please discuss it. There is a reason you married him and you need to find where that got lost. |
| Fresh Poster | on 07:44AM at Nov 9th, 2007 I feel the same way you do i have dated my husband off and on for the past 11 years we have a 8 year old daughter a 6 year old daughter and a 16 day old son my husband works all the time and he goes to school full time and when he is home he is sleeping or something that has nothing to do with me and all of his free time he thinks he should spend with his friends i have told him that i am lonely here i dont go anyplace all of my friends are happy housewives who dont care that they are always at home so i just feel stuck and he does take care of us the best he can finically but emotionally there is nothing i dont even think he likes me anymore when i try to talk to him he says im just fussing or bitching and that me doing that makes him want to stay gone more so i dont know what to do anymore i just feel stuck in my own misery and alone who in the world would have ever thought that while they were married they would be feeling so lonely. I do truly understand how you feel and i wish us both the best of luck in this and may we both find companionship. |
| Fresh Poster | on 10:05AM at Dec 20th, 2007 Hi,
My name is Suzita I am new in here. Snap I am in the same boat
I am married, 40 yrs of age. And I am too very lonely. Have had a very difficult life and I also have anxiety-depression. I have been out of work for a long time with one thing and another. My husband spends alot of time on the computer too. It gets me down at times, I find it very lonely as my family live far away. I am very isolated. I spend alot of time hidden away in our flat. So I know what your going through. I dont go to the doctors as they are only good at giving you pills and more pills which turn out to be addictive, so I keep well away. I try to be positive because I believe you create your future. Its having hope and dreams, dreams can become reality if you want it to. I am always here if you ever want to chat. Take care good friend, I hope to hear from you
Suzita |
| Fresh Poster | on 08:37PM at Dec 30th, 2007 I just joined this group. I am married and lonely also. All my husband wants to do is stay on the computer or do things he wants to do. He deprives me from attention. I really want a divorce, but I am trying to hang in there for my two kids, ages 13 and 9. It is so hard. I feel like I am wasting my life away. Can anyone give me any advice? I have had an affair basically because I have been so miserable. But I know this is not the answer. It did give me a little pleasure, but it will only lead to destruction. |
| Fresh Poster | on 05:49PM at Dec 31st, 2007 Peebles. I stayed in a marriage for years until the kids were grown. I'm not sure if it was worth it but felt like it was the right thing to do. Now I am older and feel like I have missed a lot and my options are more limited. See a counselor and maybe a lawyer. You only have one life and you should be happy. Find love. |
| Fresh Poster | on 05:50PM at Dec 31st, 2007 Peebles. I stayed in a marriage for years until the kids were grown. I'm not sure if it was worth it but felt like it was the right thing to do. Now I am older and feel like I have missed a lot and my options are more limited. See a counselor and maybe a lawyer. You only have one life and you should be happy. Find love. |
| Fresh Poster | on 06:16PM at Dec 31st, 2007 Have you tried to plan a weekend getaway to the countryside? I would love for my wife to suggest this. Rent a cabin that has a jacuzzi and does not have a TV... bring some card games, boardgames, etc. The great part about this is that it gets both of you away from the computer and all the other distractions that life has to offer. Try telling him that you would like to start planning a date night twice a month where the two of you can go out to a nice dinner. If he truly cares about the way you feel, he will not say no! |
| Fresh Poster | on 03:07PM at Jan 6th, 2008 Wow, this sounds exactly like me. My husband is a firefighter and is gone every other day, when he is home, it's like he's not here. Like yours, mine will sit on the computer or watch t.v. He never has a kind word for me or our children. My family lives 400 miles away and I have 0 friends here. I have lived in this area for 7 years and every friend I have made has either moved or stabbed me in the back. I know this isn't advice, but I thought it might help to know that you're not alone. |
| Fresh Poster | on 08:04PM at Jan 7th, 2008 I listen to what you've written and it sounds like me in some ways. I've been married for 25 years, I have two daughters from a previous marriage (widow) and my husband was divorced with two daughters. The girls were basically the same age and fortunately we met when they were so young, under five years old.
If I had the knowledge I have today I would have gotten out of my marriage years ago. I actually filed for a divorce about 13 years ago. Why I didn't go through with it is beyond comprehension..... My husband is a great guy, extremely intelligent, hard worker, very mechanical and has done very well for himself. We actually worked together for over twenty years.....which came to a rude awakening about a year ago. I was fed up, unappreciated, taken advantage of, etc. The door only swung in his direction.
He has always been extremely self centered. He would leave me in a heartbeat if he got a better offer, like one of his friends calling him for a favor. He never regarded my feelings, he stuck me with the kids day after day. Even though I worked full time and took care of the kids, his social life was more important than his family.
Today sadly he doesn't have much of a relationship with his biological daughters.....fortunately I do....I'm very close with them and I believe they feel the same for me.
Please if I can give you any advise.....take care of yourself. Don't loose yourself in your marriage. I believe that's what I did, now I'm trying to develop more and more of a social life. My family always came first. Fortunately I have quite a few friends and many are single so I'm able to get out often. I know my husband is threathened by it, but ask me if I care. He never had any regard to my feelings when he left me standing here with kids, the house, etc. He would just walk away and let the door fly in my face, but of course he denies he ever did any of it.
Yes I'm sure you can tell I'm a litter bitter.....don't let this happen to you. Get out before it gets to this...
Well.......today we have basically no relationship.....just roomates. Yesterday he emailed me (we only communicate through email) that I should go get an attorney and get this over with. And also that he didn't want to hear from me again and to leave him alone.....
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| Fresh Poster | on 04:32PM at Jan 14th, 2008 Please excuse the complicated-ness of this. I will try to make it as straight forward as possible. And for once, I am going to tell the whole truth:
I have been married for 2 1/2 years, with my husband since the summer of 2001. We have a nice home, good jobs, we should be happy. (He is 29, I am 24.) But I have not been happy for a long time and I strayed. I met a guy (20) in the military and let his sweet words convince me of a "better" life for myself. I met him once in the summer for a long weekend, and over Christmas when he was home. Other than that, our relationship has consisted of phone calls, email, and texts. As you may guess, my husband discovered my affair.
I left our home on New Year's Day and moved in with my mother. After some severe begging and promising that the other man is out of my life (he really isn't...) my husband let me come back. However, he says he has nothing left to give and may want me out again tomorrow or the next day, or next week, etc. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around him. I'm afraid to speak, don't know how to behave, etc.
I don't know what I want. I know I have feelings for the "other man" but I also had a life with my husband and I know I've hurt him. He's been telling me he was going to leave for a while now and I guess I gave up too soon.
I can't shake the other guy though. I told him we should not communicate anymore, and I believe that he also feels that is the right thing to do. Yes, he knew I was married and knew that I was having trouble in my relationship.
So, I guess, where do I go from here? It's like I don't know myself or what I want anymore. I know to be fair to everyone, I need to figure it out soon... |
| Fresh Poster | on 09:48PM at Jan 14th, 2008 I usually don't like to tell something like this over the whole "www".but I have been married for alittle over 30 yrs.I am new to the site&joined it because I thought I may find some new friends who have something in common.I strayed on my man approx.7 yrs.ago.I made the mistake of leaving the guys name & phone no. on the dresser when I was making up another excuse to go & meet with him.Well,to say the least it was pure hell around my house for about 2 yrs.after.My spouse isn't the same person I married.I can see some of his reasons for being so hurt & angry,but some of it I can't see fully.I've told him that there was no love with the other guy & that at least I didn't move in with him OR have his baby!!! I found the thrill & excitement of trying to have my cake & eat it too.But since things cooled down,we don't have the relationship that used to exist.He lives in his own world too much of the time & that leaves me to only be lonelier & alittle more depressed,I have gone to therapy & it helped some but it would've been more beneficial if he'd gone also.I sometimes feel like I'm still being punished for something that I feel isn't that big of a deal. I don't work outside the home & so I don't have much access to friends other than old friends,which are few.Any others out there who have had similar experiences,express your views& or be a friend to me. |
| Fresh Poster | on 12:05AM at Jan 15th, 2008 Hi there
If you are not happy in the relationship with your husbsnd , don't try to stick to it. Have a clear idea about your expectations from your husband and about the things he is unable to give to you. Have a clear discussion with him regarding your expecations and listen to his views as well. Then take a firm decision about your future.after all you have only one life to live.
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| Fresh Poster | on 02:59PM at Jan 16th, 2008 There is much you can do. They all involve being active where you live. You can take a class at a local university and that will bring you into contact with lots of people. You could be active in a religious group and or do volunteer work in many settings. All of these things will take you out of the home and into life. There are book, restaurant, travel and film clubs too. |
| Fresh Poster | on 02:59PM at Jan 16th, 2008 There is much you can do. They all involve being active where you live. You can take a class at a local university and that will bring you into contact with lots of people. You could be active in a religious group and or do volunteer work in many settings. All of these things will take you out of the home and into life. There are book, restaurant, travel and film clubs too. |
| Fresh Poster | on 02:56AM at Jan 17th, 2008 i know exactly how you feel i,ve been married 2 years my husband goes straight to computer when comes in from work we dont have proper conversations try and talk to him its like talking to brick wall! i feel i am seeing to every one of his needs but hes not doing same for me.
we are only in same room when i am doing dinner[computer in kitchen and while eating it]if nothing on tv he wants to watch he will go back on computer so even more time alone[i dont have paid job though have tried to get one]so spend enough time on own i never thought being married would be lonely and also i too am away from very good friends and family which makes me even more lonely.
what i do is i have a voluntry job in a charity shop 2 mornings a week and have made some friends that way but don,t see much of them outside work as they have own lives and families and not really connected to them like my old friends back home.
but they are great people to know and the job keeps me busy and gives me purpose in life. |
| Fresh Poster | on 03:13AM at Jan 17th, 2008 one last thing
you are never alone with friends who know what you are going through may we all find companionship and happiness we deserve
hope to hear from you soon |
| Fresh Poster | on 08:18AM at Jan 23rd, 2008 I am the husband that goes about unnoticed, desperate housewives, I am the desperate house husband. married 28 years. chief cook and bottle washer. our kids are grown ,but still come and go here every day. she hates the computer and hates to read, but give her a throw and the couch and she is gone. She had rather sleep on the couch that to have to sleep next to me . she is afraid I might ask for something.. she blames it on hormones I don't but that. anyway I get tired of bitching about the same thing to her day after day.Sorry it was you all today. |
| Fresh Poster | on 05:39PM at Feb 4th, 2008 ive been married for 44 yrs and we dont communicate at all.i usually talk to other people at work or on my computer.my yahoo messenger is ds12689or my e mail is ds12689@yahoo.com if u want to chat sometime,dave. |
| Fresh Poster | on 04:14AM at Feb 5th, 2008 I can spend time with you when your lonely an have fun an chat an play games online an just friendly decent chat,, an be friends,,I could use a good friend,,have a nice day | |
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