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I Am Lost and Cannot Find My Center

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 144 People

    MPD With No Host

    I feel I do not have a real me or center person.  I have DID of MPD, but I have come to the conclusion we are all alters and maybe the host is dormant or simply quite exsiting when I was very young.  We all share the same memories but have always made group descions on...
    allofus allofus 46-50, M Apr 28, 2009

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    Help! I Cant Find Myself

    The title says it all. Im lost and i try to find myself ive done yoga meditation and just tried to think of things i like and when i think i find myself i lose it and sometimes it was never me. Maybe me is jus messed up but i was me when i was young i lost her when i was about 5...
    desertedangel desertedangel 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 15, 2009

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    Struggle Within

    The beast within me is asleep once again.  How long will it stay that way?  How much longer can I keep him at bay?    I try not to feed this beast with my hate. I will not sate its thirst with alcohol.  The beast fears no man, and at times like this, I...
    wikkedirish wikkedirish 31-35, M 5 Responses Aug 17, 2008

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    Stumbling In The Dark

    I have never had a perfect marriage, but thought we would be together till the end. I foolishly engulfed myself in my husband, our sons and our business. Two years ago I noticed a huge change in my husband. Now he tells me he wants out. I am realing from this, as I have stood...
    katlady66 katlady66 46-50, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2010

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    Since long I am travelling tired

    and weary through the paths of darkness I urge you show me the light. In my eyes are only visions of dreadful dark nights I plea to you blossom in them golden lights as vibrant flowers smiles bathing in morning dew. With your graceful uplifting words help me erase my fearful...
    winterfall winterfall 36-40 Mar 8

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    Out of Balance

    There is just something wrong.  I have no focus and it has taken me a lot of reflection to see that.  My moods are so far to the left or to the right.  Well, if the “left” is sadness and the “right” is hostility, then I must retract that...
    wikkedirish wikkedirish 31-35, M 4 Responses Aug 14, 2008

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    I Want To Be Alone

    I have a feeling that I hate most people, because I think they are cruel and mean and they want to hurt me. I am so nervous around people, but I hide behind a mask of a strong and condident person. But, inside me, there is a broken and scared child, who is looking for care, love...
    BigChild BigChild 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 17, 2011

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    I wish I had all the answers to understand

    why I feel so depressed and lost. I tried denying to myself that I'm not depressed which only left me feeling worse, instead off accepting my feelings and dealing with them has had far worse repurcasions. People don't want to hear if you tell them you are depressed, this has...
    Jay04Sch Jay04Sch 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 8

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    Related Experiences

    My sister believes in a lot of spiritualism that is off the wall- okay. I know people who think Sylvia Brown was a psychic and not a con woman No sense showing them the facts- it...
    reba59 reba59 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 1

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    Hello there, Not sure where to start.. So, I grew up in a dysfunctional family - mother was an alcoholic, no dad was present. Most of my wider family members had some kind of...
    sandyegg sandyegg 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 4

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    I lost my whole life a couple days after my 32nd birthday. I was in a relationship with a girl i loved for 4 years. We had some moments where we had giant issues (abortion) and I...
    crossbwnz crossbwnz 31-35 9 hrs ago

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    What do I do? I'm very lost with my life and I'm used to hiding my emotions so I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now. Basically a guy in my class is teasing me in almost an...
    Daliak Daliak 16-17, F 9 hrs ago

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    It happened very recently, last night to be precise. I've had several people wanting to sleep with me but I knew I'd regret it because I didn't feel comfortable with them, I couldn...
    StarBerryAdi StarBerryAdi 18-21, F 58 mins ago

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    I have so many good things in my life, beautiful experiences, lots of opportunities, caring friends, amazing kids, but I can't fight this sickness that's infected me. I feel...
    LittleBirds0827 LittleBirds0827 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 10

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    I know what type of replies I should expect. However, I will say it anyway because it is annoying me. Ever since I remember I've had problem with letting things go. It is not...
    rzth rzth 22-25, M 2 hrs ago

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    Memories forced me to remember To save love from anger I can't stop myself but to wonder Wished i had been better Counting the time that I've wasted Over someone new Cause one...
    Exactworld Exactworld 70+, F 2 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    some days like today I feel like college gets too much and just finding life stressful and hard. I have so many commitments that are stressing me out but I can't give them up as I...
    laurendunn865 laurendunn865 16-17, F 7 hrs ago

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    For quite some time now actually. At this point I think I can deal with it much better than years ago and find myself not concerning with what I'm doing or where I'm going so long...
    lFrostBitel lFrostBitel 22-25, M 2 days ago

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    She is so beautiful. She has the most incredible laugh and smile. Her voice I could listen to forever - deep and caring, I'll never hear it again. She smelled of perfume masked my...
    rirxalri rirxalri 16-17, F Nov 3

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    Sheesh. They really ****** me off. I have this "friend". I hate that friend. She seems like a fake to me. In college, i got lots of friends, she isnt my friend before.. Until...
    blitzkrieg7 blitzkrieg7 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 6

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    My wife and I had two great friends John and Jane (for anonymity). It was fantastic that we met them because they were also a Mexican-American marriage, were the same age, and had...
    greatgig91 greatgig91 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 8

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    I lay on the floor in my living room and stare at the wall all day. I then roll over and face the back of my couch at night. Repeat. I am alone. No one hits me up. No one responds...
    Tantalustay Tantalustay 22-25, M 23 hrs ago

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    "Unraveling" written by Liz Longley Lyrics Boxes and baskets of all her old things Porcelain dolls, portrait paintings She swore they'd be worth something They're just...
    lp1989 lp1989 22-25, F 16 hrs ago

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    So I lost my dad it will be 2 years next June, and this time of the year is always the hardest. His birthday is in 3 days and he was my everything. I took care of my dad for 5...
    MarinesGirl94 MarinesGirl94 18-21, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    My uncle. He had cancer when I was young. I remember him being fun and outgoing, he took me out to places for me to play, bought pizza and went for walks with me.. And that's about...
    qwernia qwernia 18-21, F 4 hrs ago

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    When I was in middle school I was very over weight.I got picked on a lot,especially in band,even though I was first chair clarinet,my talent was looked over and people focused on...
    Katherine27 Katherine27 22-25, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I think i'm too self centered. Ehh, Im really sorry. :
    Xlex Xlex 18-21, M Oct 26

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    My broken dark heart will never return to the same as before,just like the Angel whom has just lost their precious wings, as the pain engulfs them.....this lonely soul it took from...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 3 Responses Oct 27

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    We met and it all was magical , we could not stop talking , not for hours but for days, nights continuously, it was more than magical, I lost myself in him, infact we were lost in...
    broookeennnn broookeennnn 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 7

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    Harvin Thedeolin Finsen breached my trust thus I'd lodged a police report against him report no. G/20140728/2155. It's a case of non-return of personal belongings that he loaned...
    rainbowsundae rainbowsundae 31-35, M Nov 8

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    I'm 30 and my fiancé would have been 30 on October 10, 2014. I have a 12 yr old from a previous relationship that my fiancé helped raise for 6 yrs. And I also have a now 1 yr old...
    simplybeautiful30 simplybeautiful30 26-30, F 15 Responses Nov 13

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    I lost my wallet and I am very angry at myself. it's not the material loss, or the hassle I have to go through to cancel all my cards, or the money I have to pay to get another ID...
    mixalisduddy mixalisduddy 22-25, M a week ago

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    "I cannot go to the ocean I cannot drive the streets at night I cannot wake up in the morning Without you on my mind So you're gone and I'm haunted And I bet you are just fine Did...
    Miranda240 Miranda240 26-30, F Nov 4

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    I met Noah and his brother in 2013. We were both in a dark place in our lives and pretty lost. His brother simon was the most beautiful person in the world and kept us both...
    MindlessMatters MindlessMatters 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 9

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    I just lost my two and a half year old son to his father. His father works for the school district and my sons grandmother works for cps. Two years ago I broke up with my ex, I had...
    brokken4412 brokken4412 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 26

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    Lost for words...lost in the world...lost in thought..lost everywhere.How do I find my way?Where do I go? How should I know...why should I care???Who do I turn to...or is there...
    irreelevance irreelevance 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 4

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    A friend posted this and I wanted to share because we all need to be reminded. We do have control! Attitude The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life...
    KemiKill KemiKill 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 14

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    The other night when we were lying in bed and he asked me why I pursued him, that I deserved a much better life and a more promising future. I let out a meek laugh, half surprised...
    cbnfvr cbnfvr 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 3

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    I lost my amazing handsome, funny husband to non hodgkins lymphoma in August 2014, aged 50. Diagnosed on May 1st. Our son is 16. He was sporty, never smoked and rarely drank. My...
    friendlyfi friendlyfi 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 5

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    Iv lost so much hope in ever finding love. That Iv lost myself completely in the storm that's raging inside me. This storm is making me transgress borders I never dared to cross...
    Myrose3 Myrose3 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 12

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    I just broke away from a five year long relationship with my best friend. It sounds selfish because it was based on his flaws and disregarding mine, but when someone is sociopathic...
    camille2344 camille2344 18-21, F Nov 15

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    I've never been interested in losing weight the right way. Done with slimming pills, shakes, starving or even vomiting. It worked but I gained again after a few weeks. One time I...
    Elleshore81 Elleshore81 31-35, F 4 days ago

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    I'm feel like my emotions are everywhere I had a long wknd! I feel numb I want to cry but it's hard too! I didn't even cry when my grandfather passed this year. I know I'm not...
    missyluvslilies missyluvslilies 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 4

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    This week i raised a bad flag and looks like a had lost a friend, a sunshine. Well, it is a venting story, i still regretting and i don't really know how to react for it... but i...
    blackravencat blackravencat 22-25, M a week ago

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    It’s not nice to say you’ve been a battered woman. And often you don’t want to think of yourself that way. You tell yourself you don’t really have it that bad. You think...
    MaraAgain MaraAgain 22-25, F Oct 28

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    mid 50's woman with grown kids and alone, in a new home me and my sweetheart bought, so very far away from him. i am an artist, so i work alone and now, i am finding myself...
    buddagirl buddagirl 51-55, F 1 Response Oct 29

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