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I Am Lying to Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 136 People

    At times I tell myself I can handle what Im

    feeling for that girl. I tell myself I can be friends with her and that its just only friendly love. I try to make myself believe all that. I know it isnt true. I can never let her go. I want to die. I even denied the fact that I hate myself for loving her and that i want to die...
    realandtrue realandtrue 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2014

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    Lying

    - I would never, ever, do it again. Not after what I feel now. I'm haunted by the lies I've told in the past. I hurt a big amount of people and ended up having to drop out of high school because they were so bad. I don't know what to do anymore. All I feel anymore is guilt. Just...
    wanttobebetter wanttobebetter 22-25, F Nov 9, 2013

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    Afraid

    I lie to myself about everything pertaining to relationships. I make myself like any guy who shows interest in me. I am currently in a relationship where I continuously lie to myself. "yes I love him!" "he is great for me"...no. I am still in love with my ex but I just cannot let...
    Dipot Dipot 18-21, F Oct 17, 2010

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    Am I Lying To Myself? I Don'T Know Anymore.

    What if I really aren't capable? the only reason I am still trying is that I imagine that moment when I finally succeed. But sometimes I wonder, is it really going to be that glorious? is it really going to be that important? What if it turns out bad and I end up with double...
    Shamandora Shamandora 18-21, F Mar 7, 2013

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    Lying To Myself...when It Comes To Relationships

    I feel I settle for guys Im not attracted to but simply comfortable with. I cringe when they hold me but keep telling myself that I'll grow to like them more than a friend. Of course, resentment and anger and passive aggressiveness starts on their end cause they feel that I don't...
    ChocSwurl ChocSwurl 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2011

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    It's Not Getting Any Easier.

    I don't know if I would necessarily call it lying to myself or trying to trick myself. I am in a relationship that is not good for me. He is sweet and wonderful, he loves me but I do not feel the same about him. Why am I in this relationship? I do not know. It may have something...
    fs9834 fs9834 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 1, 2012

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    I Feel Like I'm A Monster

    There are numerous times in which i've had to lie to others in order to hide my real feelings. This is the example I regret the most, I lied to someone online saying that I crushed my cat to death with my butt and ate my cat's ashes. When in actuality I didn't, my cat Nico...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Oct 28, 2012

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    I hate it when I do it.

    The normal lies I tell to myself are: It's going to be okay, Everything will be fine, Nothing's wrong with you.. Everyday I tell myself that I'm really just lying. When I think of something positive about myself, I think I'm lying about it until now..
    PureLies PureLies 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2014

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    Whats Real

    i cant not trust myself anymore i dont know if im lying to myself or if im lying about lying i lost alot of friends because of it. It feels like i lie so much that i cant tell the difference between whats real and what is fake. Im tired of this if anybody got any ideas how i can...
    francis101 francis101 13-15 Feb 18, 2009

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    Thoughts In The Room : The Lies I Tell Myself

    As we walk hand in hand, It is such a sweet lie.As you kiss me and tell me "you're everything to me", it is such a wondrous lie.As I lay in your arms telling myself "this time it's real", I'm just lying to myself.Just because I wish for love doesn't mean it will ever happen...
    LostInTime20 LostInTime20 18-21, F Dec 6, 2011

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    I've been doing this.

    I believed strongly that every human being is just that: a human being. Same as every other but for a few tiny genetic mods and the vastly different backgrounds of experiences and interactions that shape us. Athletes. Awesome people like Danny MacAskill and Sebastian Faucon...
    cloudsoflife cloudsoflife 26-30, M 3 Responses Jul 24

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    I live a life of lies

    and deceit. I sit on my throne of disgust and mistrust because I'm not man enough to face possible dis ownership. Nor and becoming an exile to my family. Ive failed them and myself all my conscious life and rebuilding credibility seems too great of a task. I need guidance... I...
    Dolosin Dolosin 22-25, M 1 Response May 4, 2014

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    I Wish It Wasn't So...

    I lie to myself every day and have been for a long time. I tell myself that I'm fine, that no relationship is perfect. I tell myself that I am doing the best thing for my children. I tell myself that someday things will be different. I convince myself that I am lucky to have...
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 5, 2011

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    i always tell people i do not give a **** about

    anyone or anything but in reality i care so much i'm gonna explode. i keep telling myself this boy is nothing but a temporary toy of mine when i'm actually falling madly in love.
    naomizz naomizz 18-21, F Oct 16, 2014

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    Oh Dear I Have Been Lying to Myself

    I have been lying to myself for quite sometime now. Not about everythig but one thug in particular. What is it? It's that I like women. And in fact I am in a lesbian relationship right now and I couldn't be happier. I have lied to myself in order to stay apart of what "they...
    Rainbowhappy13 Rainbowhappy13 18-21 Jul 20, 2009

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    I'm So Stupid...

    I keep telling myself I have no reason to cut, and I have no reason to want to kill myself, and to be depressed. But I do, and ya, they might be stupid reasons to some. But to me they are horrible events or memories. I want to believe what I say to myself, but I know it's a lie...
    Emofox Emofox 18-21, T May 5, 2012

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    I Feel Indifferent Pt 1

    I am a liar.  I told the person who i wanted to call me from work how i felt about it.  i told him that i just wanted to be his friend and listen to his problems. Why would i want to listen to his problems. i've got my own problems to solve.  I should feel better...
    redux redux 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2007

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    I should stop. I know I'm lying to myself

    but it's as if there are two sides to me - one sensible, wanting to be strong and smart and the other selfish, needing to keep up with the lie I tell myself every time I feel my eyes opening to what I really need. Selfish Me always wins.
    CleverName94 CleverName94 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2014

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    In My Inferior Zone, I Eloquently Speak Some Lies

    The quote that says “God is what you think you are” is.. 100% correct but I think it doesn’t conceal the possibility when sometimes the truth is “God is what you thought you were.. in term of someone whom you want to be like”. Yeah, He drives our mind through the visual...
    ddangkochimp ddangkochimp 22-25, F Oct 9, 2013

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    I'm playing with myself in my attends. While I was playing I peed all over my hand. It's fun to be playing with myself in a dry diaper and then then start peeing. I'm still playing...
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    I can't even look at myself in the mirror because I just hate myself. I don't believe I deserve to be happy or to feel content. I try really hard at trying to find a job but keep...
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    I'm scared of being alone im scared my depression will take over me I tried so hard to fight but somehow it keeps coming back to me I don't know what to do I tried so keep strong...
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    this is a true experience, and just for note I don't like peeing myself at all. I don't mind desperation in private, but I don't like it in public or find it fun at all. This for...
    kgirl17 kgirl17 18-21 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Since 4 months I have been fattening myself up every single minute of the day I gained weight rapidly each and everyday thanks to a friend here with my girlfriend I turned into an...
    M19946 M19946 18-21 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    hymn of nothingness oh i have serve feels like eternity to feel...joy and sadness illuminate my path with darkness and nothingness away from all this madness unite me with...
    anotherclone anotherclone 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Just about the time I think I have everything in my life under control, I realize I don't, not really. Then I begin to think about why I don't. That leads me to a thinking of a...
    comeonletsgo comeonletsgo 61-65, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm trying to, anyway. I'm currently in my last week of an intensive outpatient program for drug addiction and mental health issues. A lot of the things I've learned from this...
    TheCallipygist TheCallipygist 22-25, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    I often like to cut my fingertips to remind myself how much of a monster i can be. The cuts represent claws. If im not careful with what i touch, i will hurt myself. When i hurt...
    ForgedFromFire ForgedFromFire 16-17, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Some time ago I promised myself I wouldn't cut myself with a knife anymore. Last night I broke that promise. According to my promise this means I have a problem with cutting. I...
    jsualmtha jsualmtha 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    I really want to kill myself. My life is going on horribly. My mother has psychotic depression, she has been on an affair for 9 years & has just recently stopped after being...
    mangoseed mangoseed 18-21, F 16 Responses 5 days ago

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    I tend to have full blown conversations with myself. I am well aware that no one is there, but for as long as I can remember I've talked to myself and acted out conversations. For...
    OldSoulRedux OldSoulRedux 22-25, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    reflecting a color only i can see greeted by monsters of my insecurities sleep..escape to another galaxy dream are monsters snatching away my sanity light some candles in...
    anotherclone anotherclone 26-30, M Aug 19

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    I do, I honestly do hate lying. But I'm worried; I'm worried because I find I'm quite good at it, and sticking with it when necessary. I don't want to lie to people or be good at...
    TheGirlYouNeverKnew TheGirlYouNeverKnew 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    I talked to my ex after what was a couple months. We actually had a conversation this time. I decided to be frank with him and asked him what he wanted from me. He said he wanted...
    HigherCalling HigherCalling 26-30, F Aug 19

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    When I am in my room.. When the lights are out.. When the noise and sound are gone.. When I am alone laying in my bed or sitting in my chair... I feel the most myself. The me I am...
    chaekowski chaekowski 26-30, M Aug 18

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    wish i didn't know didn't expected now it's killing me to see you in reality didn't predict to witness this cruelty poisonous and so cold, smiling, throne of all your...
    anotherclone anotherclone 26-30, M Aug 17

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    There are moments in my life recently where I'm disappointed in myself. At 35 I was set financially, loved my career although it didn't allow for much personal time, family time or...
    cacutie3 cacutie3 36-40, F Aug 17

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    I never admitted this to myself. I'm afraid of being abandoned. I'm super sensitive to ridicule and humiliation. I hate my parents. I wrote mom a letter when I was about 6-7...
    MentAl69noMAD MentAl69noMAD 18-21 2 Responses Aug 16

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    I don't even know myself let alone able to be myself. I am so fake. I have social anxiety, which is getting better, but only because I force myself to behave more enthusiastic, or...
    WhereaboutsUnknown WhereaboutsUnknown 22-25, F Aug 16

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