Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am Lying to Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 130 People

    I should stop. I know I'm lying to myself

    but it's as if there are two sides to me - one sensible, wanting to be strong and smart and the other selfish, needing to keep up with the lie I tell myself every time I feel my eyes opening to what I really need. Selfish Me always wins.
    CleverName94 CleverName94 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Am I Lying To Myself? I Don'T Know Anymore.

    What if I really aren't capable? the only reason I am still trying is that I imagine that moment when I finally succeed. But sometimes I wonder, is it really going to be that glorious? is it really going to be that important? What if it turns out bad and I end up with double...
    Shamandora Shamandora 18-21, F Mar 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Oh Dear I Have Been Lying to Myself

    I have been lying to myself for quite sometime now. Not about everythig but one thug in particular. What is it? It's that I like women. And in fact I am in a lesbian relationship right now and I couldn't be happier. I have lied to myself in order to stay apart of what "they...
    Rainbowhappy13 Rainbowhappy13 18-21 Jul 20, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    In My Inferior Zone, I Eloquently Speak Some Lies

    The quote that says “God is what you think you are” is.. 100% correct but I think it doesn’t conceal the possibility when sometimes the truth is “God is what you thought you were.. in term of someone whom you want to be like”. Yeah, He drives our mind through the visual...
    ddangkochimp ddangkochimp 22-25, F Oct 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Wish It Wasn't So...

    I lie to myself every day and have been for a long time. I tell myself that I'm fine, that no relationship is perfect. I tell myself that I am doing the best thing for my children. I tell myself that someday things will be different. I convince myself that I am lucky to have...
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 5, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everything I think I am

    and want to be, it isn't me and I feel like it is just a lie. I am lying to myself about my abilities and it is disillusioning me about who I am and my future. Why continue doing something if you feel like you're no good at it.
    lucidsoul lucidsoul 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Whats Real

    i cant not trust myself anymore i dont know if im lying to myself or if im lying about lying i lost alot of friends because of it. It feels like i lie so much that i cant tell the difference between whats real and what is fake. Im tired of this if anybody got any ideas how i can...
    francis101 francis101 13-15 Feb 18, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lying

    - I would never, ever, do it again. Not after what I feel now. I'm haunted by the lies I've told in the past. I hurt a big amount of people and ended up having to drop out of high school because they were so bad. I don't know what to do anymore. All I feel anymore is guilt. Just...
    wanttobebetter wanttobebetter 18-21, F Nov 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Feel Indifferent Pt 1

    I am a liar.  I told the person who i wanted to call me from work how i felt about it.  i told him that i just wanted to be his friend and listen to his problems. Why would i want to listen to his problems. i've got my own problems to solve.  I should feel better...
    redux redux 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Feel Like I'm A Monster

    There are numerous times in which i've had to lie to others in order to hide my real feelings. This is the example I regret the most, I lied to someone online saying that I crushed my cat to death with my butt and ate my cat's ashes. When in actuality I didn't, my cat Nico...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Oct 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's Not Getting Any Easier.

    I don't know if I would necessarily call it lying to myself or trying to trick myself. I am in a relationship that is not good for me. He is sweet and wonderful, he loves me but I do not feel the same about him. Why am I in this relationship? I do not know. It may have something...
    fs9834 fs9834 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 1, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lying To Myself...when It Comes To Relationships

    I feel I settle for guys Im not attracted to but simply comfortable with. I cringe when they hold me but keep telling myself that I'll grow to like them more than a friend. Of course, resentment and anger and passive aggressiveness starts on their end cause they feel that I don't...
    ChocSwurl ChocSwurl 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Afraid

    I lie to myself about everything pertaining to relationships. I make myself like any guy who shows interest in me. I am currently in a relationship where I continuously lie to myself. "yes I love him!" "he is great for me"...no. I am still in love with my ex but I just cannot let...
    Dipot Dipot 18-21, F Oct 17, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    At times I tell myself I can handle what Im

    feeling for that girl. I tell myself I can be friends with her and that its just only friendly love. I try to make myself believe all that. I know it isnt true. I can never let her go. I want to die. I even denied the fact that I hate myself for loving her and that i want to die...
    realandtrue realandtrue 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm So Stupid...

    I keep telling myself I have no reason to cut, and I have no reason to want to kill myself, and to be depressed. But I do, and ya, they might be stupid reasons to some. But to me they are horrible events or memories. I want to believe what I say to myself, but I know it's a lie...
    Emofox Emofox 18-21, T May 5, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate it when I do it.

    The normal lies I tell to myself are: It's going to be okay, Everything will be fine, Nothing's wrong with you.. Everyday I tell myself that I'm really just lying. When I think of something positive about myself, I think I'm lying about it until now..
    PureLies PureLies 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I live a life of lies

    and deceit. I sit on my throne of disgust and mistrust because I'm not man enough to face possible dis ownership. Nor and becoming an exile to my family. Ive failed them and myself all my conscious life and rebuilding credibility seems too great of a task. I need guidance... I...
    Dolosin Dolosin 22-25, M 1 Response May 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Thoughts In The Room : The Lies I Tell Myself

    As we walk hand in hand, It is such a sweet lie.As you kiss me and tell me "you're everything to me", it is such a wondrous lie.As I lay in your arms telling myself "this time it's real", I'm just lying to myself.Just because I wish for love doesn't mean it will ever happen...
    LostInTime20 LostInTime20 18-21, F Dec 6, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i always tell people i do not give a **** about

    anyone or anything but in reality i care so much i'm gonna explode. i keep telling myself this boy is nothing but a temporary toy of mine when i'm actually falling madly in love.
    naomizz naomizz 16-17, F Oct 16, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    My mother makes me hate myself......I understand that a mother must correct you and stuff. My mother once told me that she hates me when I was in grade 8. she reminds me of...
    Adridee Adridee 16-17, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Everything is changing too fast. I could still remember the first time I actually looked, inspected and saw myself in the mirror. I noticed every detail, and everything. But now...
    littleowlet littleowlet 13-15, F 5 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm normally not suicidal, but sometimes I do feel terrible about my life, and I'm only seventeen ******* years old! If I did kill myself would my 'friends' care? Probably only my...
    emilesfault emilesfault 16-17, M 3 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I hate the lying politics........ Everywhere in the world, the politic is always lying... Because they are so corrupt inside. I don't understand why they are only loving money and...
    LonelyAndSensitive LonelyAndSensitive 16-17, M 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    So here is the thing (Skip to the end for my question if this is too long), This friend and I have been friends for over 5 years. In that time we have had fights and said nasty...
    BboyFS BboyFS 18-21, M 23 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Growing up I didn't see many people who looked like me on tv and in reality. The girls in school who were celebrated didn't look like me. My parents referred to me as their...
    ChelseaMonroe ChelseaMonroe 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I want to change myself I lie and steal and it's like it's apart of who I am but I wish it wasn't. I just want to live a clean wholesome happy life. I'm working on each one by one...
    catema catema 18-21, F Feb 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    this list is not yet complete for now. 1. I believe in God. So let's just respect each other :) 2. I'm a typical wall flower 3. I have so multiple accounts online but only three of...
    etude etude 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    SHE MANIPULATES ME WHEN HE TOUCHES HIMSELF YOU CONTROLLING LYING DIRTY LOOKING PIECE OF SH.T FILE HER IN.....
    TWITWITCHNEXTPROFILE5 TWITWITCHNEXTPROFILE5 51-55, F Feb 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    MARGE WENT INTO THE HISTORY ITS ALL FATHIPS AND THE CHEEP CHEESE LYING SYSTEM FILE HER IN
    reddumbfck2 reddumbfck2 51-55, F Feb 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Im 15, female, and in high school. I have a slightly hooked nose, small green eyes, eyebrows that naturally droop badly, excess fat in my cheeks, and resting bitchface. despite...
    bandfreak26 bandfreak26 13-15, F 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I had parents who told me I was a liar starting at the age of 5. no matter what I do. I think I'm lying. even though I know I'm not.
    MyCrookedSmile MyCrookedSmile 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I'm unable to be involved in relationships that have healthy exchanges of affection, compassion, and love. This is not my choice, but the result of many years of chronic anxiety...
    DarkPathos DarkPathos 51-55, M 4 Responses Feb 3

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Today I forced myself to puke again. I was out with some friends and we were hanging out at the skate park. After a couple of hours of skating I wanted to do something else. So I...
    pukeboy pukeboy 22-25, M Feb 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I tried writing this experience once but it shut down in the middle, so I'm a little frustrated but I'll try again. I was saying that I find myself doing things just for the sole...
    Shamandora Shamandora 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I hate my life so much, I really have been compensating whether or not I should kill myself, but I can never bring myself to it, like it's just thoughts; but seriously Life's...
    Krchan2 Krchan2 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 12

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Tomorrow is going to be tough. I'm scared. Terrified. Utterly bare with no armor. When did I lose it? Did I ever have one to begin with? How do explain myself. How do I confess...
    DeijiDaze DeijiDaze 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Finding an inspiration that heals. Shes gone. It hurts but I will be okay. This past year has been phenomenally hard but I believe I'm exactly where I need to be. 2014 I was...
    mmn6134 mmn6134 22-25, F Feb 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    and NO i do not have an eating disorder. i only starve myself as a way to punish myself. because i feel so extremely fukking guilty for everything there is about me. i HATE myself...
    gurldeleted gurldeleted 41-45, F Feb 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My brother and I just had an argument. He sucks at arguing because of how he drags the focus of the argument to other things. Things like me. He constantly insults me for being...
    DrowningInRed DrowningInRed 13-15, F 5 Responses Feb 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I don't hate myself for the way I look anymore ... I hate myself for the person I am ... I realize how ******* awful I am to everybody!! I'm just so mean to people all the time and...
    suicidalblonde suicidalblonde 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Is it like normal to bully myself? Idk. I tend to insult me, and think the worst of me... I guess it's because I'd rather listen to this stuff from me, instead of from someone else...
    MissPeruvian MissPeruvian 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Yup I have resorted to this. I want the next two years of my life to be about no one but myself. When I'm in a relationship I bend over backwards to give my partner anything that I...
    SapphicMinion SapphicMinion 26-30, F 26 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Something I had to do for a long time as long as I remember. I finally gave up and admitted that I was different from everyone else at school. For many reasons. Too many reasons...
    crazysoul24 crazysoul24 22-25 4 Responses Feb 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    If you play with fire, you're going to get burnt.... Why did I let this happen? Someone is going to get hurt... And I hope it me and not the people involved... I've ****** up...
    catho catho 18-21, F Feb 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Today, I wanted to relax, but I couldn't. My mind was planning in detail some corner of some project which was technically interesting, but not even possible to do today, and not...
    Taurusedi Taurusedi 31-35, M Feb 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I think it started with my home life. My sister called me a **** for wanting to wear a skirt to school. My dad called me a pig at age 5 because I left a plate on the table. My mom...
    semirelatableteen semirelatableteen 13-15, F Feb 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    They say they relationship with yourself is the most important one. Dr. Phill actually said that so it must have some truth behind it.. Oh wait. I remember it being very true. I...
    Anonymouscoast Anonymouscoast 22-25 Feb 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When I was younger I used to compare myself to other people, but as I've gotten older and adopted a new way of thinking, I only compete with myself. I want to be the best version...