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I Am Lying to Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 122 People

    I Feel Like I'm A Monster

    There are numerous times in which i've had to lie to others in order to hide my real feelings. This is the example I regret the most, I lied to someone online saying that I crushed my cat to death with my butt and ate my cat's ashes. When in actuality I didn't, my cat Nico...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Oct 28, 2012

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    Whats Real

    i cant not trust myself anymore i dont know if im lying to myself or if im lying about lying i lost alot of friends because of it. It feels like i lie so much that i cant tell the difference between whats real and what is fake. Im tired of this if anybody got any ideas how i can...
    francis101 francis101 13-15 Feb 18, 2009

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    In My Inferior Zone, I Eloquently Speak Some Lies

    The quote that says “God is what you think you are” is.. 100% correct but I think it doesn’t conceal the possibility when sometimes the truth is “God is what you thought you were.. in term of someone whom you want to be like”. Yeah, He drives our mind through the visual...
    ddangkochimp ddangkochimp 22-25, F Oct 9, 2013

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    Thoughts In The Room : The Lies I Tell Myself

    As we walk hand in hand, It is such a sweet lie.As you kiss me and tell me "you're everything to me", it is such a wondrous lie.As I lay in your arms telling myself "this time it's real", I'm just lying to myself.Just because I wish for love doesn't mean it will ever happen...
    LostInTime20 LostInTime20 18-21, F Dec 6, 2011

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    I live a life of lies

    and deceit. I sit on my throne of disgust and mistrust because I'm not man enough to face possible dis ownership. Nor and becoming an exile to my family. Ive failed them and myself all my conscious life and rebuilding credibility seems too great of a task. I need guidance... I...
    Dolosin Dolosin 22-25, M 1 Response May 4, 2014

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    Afraid

    I lie to myself about everything pertaining to relationships. I make myself like any guy who shows interest in me. I am currently in a relationship where I continuously lie to myself. "yes I love him!" "he is great for me"...no. I am still in love with my ex but I just cannot let...
    Dipot Dipot 18-21, F Oct 17, 2010

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    It's Not Getting Any Easier.

    I don't know if I would necessarily call it lying to myself or trying to trick myself. I am in a relationship that is not good for me. He is sweet and wonderful, he loves me but I do not feel the same about him. Why am I in this relationship? I do not know. It may have something...
    fs9834 fs9834 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 1, 2012

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    I hate it when I do it.

    The normal lies I tell to myself are: It's going to be okay, Everything will be fine, Nothing's wrong with you.. Everyday I tell myself that I'm really just lying. When I think of something positive about myself, I think I'm lying about it until now..
    PureLies PureLies 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 10, 2014

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    Lying To Myself...when It Comes To Relationships

    I feel I settle for guys Im not attracted to but simply comfortable with. I cringe when they hold me but keep telling myself that I'll grow to like them more than a friend. Of course, resentment and anger and passive aggressiveness starts on their end cause they feel that I don't...
    ChocSwurl ChocSwurl 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2011

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    Lying

    - I would never, ever, do it again. Not after what I feel now. I'm haunted by the lies I've told in the past. I hurt a big amount of people and ended up having to drop out of high school because they were so bad. I don't know what to do anymore. All I feel anymore is guilt. Just...
    wanttobebetter wanttobebetter 18-21, F Nov 9, 2013

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    i always tell people i do not give a **** about

    anyone or anything but in reality i care so much i'm gonna explode. i keep telling myself this boy is nothing but a temporary toy of mine when i'm actually falling madly in love.
    naomizz naomizz 16-17, F Oct 16, 2014

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    I Wish It Wasn't So...

    I lie to myself every day and have been for a long time. I tell myself that I'm fine, that no relationship is perfect. I tell myself that I am doing the best thing for my children. I tell myself that someday things will be different. I convince myself that I am lucky to have...
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 5, 2011

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    Oh Dear I Have Been Lying to Myself

    I have been lying to myself for quite sometime now. Not about everythig but one thug in particular. What is it? It's that I like women. And in fact I am in a lesbian relationship right now and I couldn't be happier. I have lied to myself in order to stay apart of what "they...
    Rainbowhappy13 Rainbowhappy13 18-21 Jul 20, 2009

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    I should stop. I know I'm lying to myself

    but it's as if there are two sides to me - one sensible, wanting to be strong and smart and the other selfish, needing to keep up with the lie I tell myself every time I feel my eyes opening to what I really need. Selfish Me always wins.
    CleverName94 CleverName94 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2014

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    I'm So Stupid...

    I keep telling myself I have no reason to cut, and I have no reason to want to kill myself, and to be depressed. But I do, and ya, they might be stupid reasons to some. But to me they are horrible events or memories. I want to believe what I say to myself, but I know it's a lie...
    Emofox Emofox 18-21, T May 5, 2012

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    At times I tell myself I can handle what Im

    feeling for that girl. I tell myself I can be friends with her and that its just only friendly love. I try to make myself believe all that. I know it isnt true. I can never let her go. I want to die. I even denied the fact that I hate myself for loving her and that i want to die...
    realandtrue realandtrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2014

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    I Feel Indifferent Pt 1

    I am a liar.  I told the person who i wanted to call me from work how i felt about it.  i told him that i just wanted to be his friend and listen to his problems. Why would i want to listen to his problems. i've got my own problems to solve.  I should feel better...
    redux redux 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2007

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    Am I Lying To Myself? I Don'T Know Anymore.

    What if I really aren't capable? the only reason I am still trying is that I imagine that moment when I finally succeed. But sometimes I wonder, is it really going to be that glorious? is it really going to be that important? What if it turns out bad and I end up with double...
    Shamandora Shamandora 16-17, F Mar 7, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    They say a lady doesn't have to explain herself. I'm not a lady, but why should I? I've spent a lot of my life doing just that. How could I be telling the truth? That's often what...
    DarkwingGoslyn DarkwingGoslyn 31-35 Jan 18

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    narcissistic maybe- i grew up with no self confidence. i was the black sheep of my family and the middle child, chubby and shy. when i graduated i started loosing my "baby weight...
    snelletrail snelletrail 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I want to break down and slash my wrist and watch the blood hit the ground. I think to myself, what urges this on? Why am I so depressed, so angry, confused, upset. I just wanna...
    fade77 fade77 13-15, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    I see myself as average, or maybe less. But hear different things for other people. Compliments are very hard for me because I tend to believe they are some form of a sick joke...
    MsBree01 MsBree01 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    Great. Now it's hard even to vent on EP about anything, because then I'm weak and needy and attention-seeking and annoying. I should just shut up. I should just stop talking about...
    kaleidoscopic21 kaleidoscopic21 13-15, F 10 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I'm tired of lying down and thinking of how messed up my life is and burst out crying. Tired of thinking how I'm going no where in life I'm just a pathetic loser. I don't deserve...
    Idiedinside Idiedinside 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    I think I may have caught some kind of weird disease from my dog, an Irish Setter. I woke up in this morning, and while still lying in bed, I felt my throat muscles beginning to...
    suzzieQue suzzieQue 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 5

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    Lying on the beach in Cape Cod...the rocks were so beautiful. A rainbow of colors so unlike the brown and black sand on the Gulf of Mexico. I picked through handful after handful...
    Funequalsfun Funequalsfun 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 14

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    3 years ago I was an Uni student. Now I am just a drop out who never told his family that. So for the past 3 years I have been lying about my studies, my results etc. I had done...
    tiszero tiszero 22-25, M Jan 19

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    I need this profile with the hacking company and all the computers and busted phones I hate lying dirt bags Where new York .out at
    noway65 noway65 51-55, F a week ago

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    Sorry kinda long My husband is cheap and always wiggles his way out of paying for things and has lied about providing for his wife and daughter for years saying he does when he...
    Virgo1981 Virgo1981 31-35, F Jan 16

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    I have an urgent need to forgive myself for something I did in high school. For years I've been very harsh with myself about this mistake and I've been telling myself that what I...
    NamelessNomad NamelessNomad 22-25, F a week ago

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    I hated how I say to people that Im proud of myself and I loved it. I hated how **** I am. I hated how I can be so confident. I hated how I interact with others. I hated how I feel...
    shishishosho97 shishishosho97 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    Honestly I am 34 and no high school education. I had kids at 18,29,21 . Been married 2x and never done a damn thing for myself . I come from a place and daily that has the...
    KittenHasClaws1980 KittenHasClaws1980 31-35, F 2 Responses Jan 2

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    I'm fifteen. I'm a sophomore and I've been continually depressed since last summer when the first girl I legitimately fell for got really mad at me and then moved away. I just sent...
    GuiltyLover GuiltyLover 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 17

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    The title says it all. Well yeah, I really do hate myself. I've been hospitalized 3 times in the past year for suicide attempts, self-harm, and drug use. I've done so many things...
    shecancareless shecancareless 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2014

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    Last year was a game changer for me..i left my boyfriend of five years last February. It was difficult to do but I don't regret it. It took me over a year to work up the courage...
    lambkin lambkin 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 6

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    I feel like I do of course im a walking contradiction so maybe im not after all..uhhh I dont know why the hell it's so hard for me to give a crap about myself anymore unless I have...
    simpleandpossible simpleandpossible 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 8

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    …and I never get bored of myself or hate myself... I love being myself at all times; perhaps I am a little narcissistic... Oh well, better than self hating, no? Although I don't...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 15

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    I hate everyone. I mean it. I'm done caring about other people who don't even see me. I just want to be left completely alone. I don't want anyone. I don't want anyone to care...
    ImYourLady ImYourLady 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 28, 2014

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    Yesterday, with the help of a new friend, I've come to terms with how I really feel about myself. The truth is I hate myself. I always have. I'm fat, and it's always weighed me...
    SerSean SerSean 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 28, 2014

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    I feel like I am always giving more than I can. I try to fix everyone without taking the time to fix myself. I am attracted to people who have many problems. I don't know why, I...
    SkyDean SkyDean 16-17, F Dec 31, 2014

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    so here we are - 2015!!! a whole new year to mess up, lol :) I hope this one is good to me, and that I am successful at improving myself. I have really lived a very long life - I...
    milehighHeartbreak milehighHeartbreak 31-35, M 2 Responses Jan 1

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    I annoy myself so much. my mind never stops talking. i hate the sound of my own voice. i hate my reflection. i hate the way i look. i hate my personality. i hate everything about...
    EnjoyTheSilenceX EnjoyTheSilenceX 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    I do not know why I posted the last story. I think I'm just weird and over it. All of my sh!t's gonna be on blast one day. If not, then I've pretty much given up on becoming famous...
    adianoeta adianoeta 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 2

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    Even though i felt lonely, felt depression and suicidal things creeping up on my back bone, the only thing thats keeping me now from waking up with a razor and slitted wrist is the...
    CursedRaven CursedRaven 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    I was 12 years old when I and thirty other kids were waiting outside in front of the school. It was the first week of secondary school. In a few minutes we would bike to a nearby...
    Jemoeder Jemoeder 26-30 1 Response Jan 4

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    if I make someone important upset or make myself upset I'll say negative things to myself and lock myself in my room and starve myself no matter how hungry I am
    LilahWolf LilahWolf 16-17, F Jan 5

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    I'm so fat and ugly and stupid. I'm a massive screw up, I can't do anything right. I can't stick to a diet because I'm such a fatass. I have no self control. I barely have any...
    SheSaid15 SheSaid15 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 7

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