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I Am Lying to Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 101 People

    Thoughts In The Room : The Lies I Tell Myself

    As we walk hand in hand, It is such a sweet lie.As you kiss me and tell me "you're everything to me", it is such a wondrous lie.As I lay in your arms telling myself "this time it's real", I'm just lying to myself.Just because I wish for love doesn't mean it will ever happen...
    LostInTime20 LostInTime20 18-21, F Dec 6, 2011

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    Lying

    - I would never, ever, do it again. Not after what I feel now. I'm haunted by the lies I've told in the past. I hurt a big amount of people and ended up having to drop out of high school because they were so bad. I don't know what to do anymore. All I feel anymore is guilt. Just...
    wanttobebetter wanttobebetter 18-21, F Nov 9, 2013

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    Lying To Myself...when It Comes To Relationships

    I feel I settle for guys Im not attracted to but simply comfortable with. I cringe when they hold me but keep telling myself that I'll grow to like them more than a friend. Of course, resentment and anger and passive aggressiveness starts on their end cause they feel that I don't...
    ChocSwurl ChocSwurl 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2011

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    Oh Dear I Have Been Lying to Myself

    I have been lying to myself for quite sometime now. Not about everythig but one thug in particular. What is it? It's that I like women. And in fact I am in a lesbian relationship right now and I couldn't be happier. I have lied to myself in order to stay apart of what "they...
    Rainbowhappy13 Rainbowhappy13 18-21 Jul 20, 2009

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    Afraid

    I lie to myself about everything pertaining to relationships. I make myself like any guy who shows interest in me. I am currently in a relationship where I continuously lie to myself. "yes I love him!" "he is great for me"...no. I am still in love with my ex but I just cannot let...
    Dipot Dipot 18-21, F Oct 17, 2010

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    It's Not Getting Any Easier.

    I don't know if I would necessarily call it lying to myself or trying to trick myself. I am in a relationship that is not good for me. He is sweet and wonderful, he loves me but I do not feel the same about him. Why am I in this relationship? I do not know. It may have something...
    fs9834 fs9834 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 1, 2012

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    I Wish It Wasn't So...

    I lie to myself every day and have been for a long time. I tell myself that I'm fine, that no relationship is perfect. I tell myself that I am doing the best thing for my children. I tell myself that someday things will be different. I convince myself that I am lucky to have...
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 6 Responses Oct 5, 2011

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    I Feel Like I'm A Monster

    There are numerous times in which i've had to lie to others in order to hide my real feelings. This is the example I regret the most, I lied to someone online saying that I crushed my cat to death with my butt and ate my cat's ashes. When in actuality I didn't, my cat Nico...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Oct 28, 2012

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    I'm So Stupid...

    I keep telling myself I have no reason to cut, and I have no reason to want to kill myself, and to be depressed. But I do, and ya, they might be stupid reasons to some. But to me they are horrible events or memories. I want to believe what I say to myself, but I know it's a lie...
    Emofox Emofox 18-21, T May 5, 2012

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    Whats Real

    i cant not trust myself anymore i dont know if im lying to myself or if im lying about lying i lost alot of friends because of it. It feels like i lie so much that i cant tell the difference between whats real and what is fake. Im tired of this if anybody got any ideas how i can...
    francis101 francis101 13-15 Feb 18, 2009

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    At times I tell myself I can handle what Im

    feeling for that girl. I tell myself I can be friends with her and that its just only friendly love. I try to make myself believe all that. I know it isnt true. I can never let her go. I want to die. I even denied the fact that I hate myself for loving her and that i want to die...
    realandtrue realandtrue 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 30

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    I Feel Indifferent Pt 1

    I am a liar.  I told the person who i wanted to call me from work how i felt about it.  i told him that i just wanted to be his friend and listen to his problems. Why would i want to listen to his problems. i've got my own problems to solve.  I should feel better...
    redux redux 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 18, 2007

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    Am I Lying To Myself? I Don'T Know Anymore.

    What if I really aren't capable? the only reason I am still trying is that I imagine that moment when I finally succeed. But sometimes I wonder, is it really going to be that glorious? is it really going to be that important? What if it turns out bad and I end up with double...
    Shamandora Shamandora 16-17, F Mar 7, 2013

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    I live a life of lies

    and deceit. I sit on my throne of disgust and mistrust because I'm not man enough to face possible dis ownership. Nor and becoming an exile to my family. Ive failed them and myself all my conscious life and rebuilding credibility seems too great of a task. I need guidance... I...
    Dolosin Dolosin 22-25, M 1 Response May 4

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    In My Inferior Zone, I Eloquently Speak Some Lies

    The quote that says “God is what you think you are” is.. 100% correct but I think it doesn’t conceal the possibility when sometimes the truth is “God is what you thought you were.. in term of someone whom you want to be like”. Yeah, He drives our mind through the visual...
    ddangkochimp ddangkochimp 22-25, F Oct 9, 2013

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    Related Experiences

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    I was looking for the page "I Am Ashamed of Being Myself," and I could have sworn that I clicked on it, but instead Firefox led me here. So what I'm going to do is tell the story...
    Kurokagi Kurokagi 18-21 Sep 2

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    You know you’ve come to a low point in your life where you’d wish, practically begged, that your mother should have swallowed you, or aborted you when she had the chance. A...
    EatingSheep EatingSheep 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    When I'm in thought mode or trying to figure a problem out, I usually talk to myself.
    roselani2005 roselani2005 26-30, F 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    When All You Can See Is My Beauty Mommy said, “Your beautiful, who cares about the rest?” She would fashion me in pretty dresses and bows and proclaim to the world, “Look...
    jfrender jfrender 31-35, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    I hate myself the pain and humiliation I caused my parents by marrying outside my religion. I hate myself for for forcing my husband to convert to my religion albeit for show...
    Hbee1980 Hbee1980 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 23

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    since I was small I was created to lie about my life because of the events I went through my mom would tell me not to say what happen but to say something else it has been since...
    celali celali 18-21, F Aug 26

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    My daughter try's to lie to me all the time, but when I call her on it she folds right up and tells me the truth.. Why lie?? I mean don't people know God sees and know everything...
    MMMartin MMMartin 51-55, F 1 Response Sep 1

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    I feel like I'm changing. My ideas an what I wanted my life to be like have just left me. I don't know if it's because he said it will never happen or if I've actually changed. He...
    Trouble15 Trouble15 13-15, F Sep 3

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    "Seeing her name flashing on the screen was for him like an instant medicine; the eyes stopped pulsing, and instead they got bigger 'cause of the emotion, the disgusting feeling in...
    actuelly actuelly 16-17, F Sep 5

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    Pushed to hard. I was sitting at home, lying down on the couch watching Netflix and scrolling on the internet. My stomach was hurting and I need to fart but ever time I tried I...
    UhOhSorry UhOhSorry 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 5

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    That's lying, embezzling, cheating, back-sliding, lazy, two-faced, pontificating, hypocritical....................feel free to add your own......
    SLdale SLdale 51-55, M 2 days ago

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    My story is that I have a sickness inside that I don't know how to make go away. It's hard to define this sickness other than a pervading poison that is eating me from the inside...
    Shellybelle Shellybelle 41-45, F 4 Responses Aug 26

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    The group "I want to kill myself" is not available to me on EP. That is bullshit. So I'm here. There's not much I can think of to say. I have been wanting to kill myself for a...
    Orange666 Orange666 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 5

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    I'm depressed and it's hard. It's gotten bad enough that I started cutting myself for tons of different reasons. Sometimes I feel so numb inside that I cut myself so I can feel...
    benjamintkw benjamintkw 13-15, M 5 days ago

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    i appreciate my own company. i always have but ive been lonely too. now im making a bit of effort because ive left myself alone or in someone elses hands for too long. its weird...
    luckylassie luckylassie 51-55, F 2 Responses Aug 16

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    It's therapy to me. The relaxing part of the day. If I don't talk to myself, I think that would make me even crazier than how society already sees me. I'm an introvert. I hate...
    dustyoldclock dustyoldclock 18-21, F Aug 20

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    I'm trying to find my own version of happiness and a life that feels right for me. I have so many sides of me I'm trying to fit all together. I consider myself relatively traveled...
    ajrestless ajrestless 18-21, F Aug 28

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    Partly by myself.. Havent done it active-active.. But active/passively or call it passively-active. I sort of have the belief, that when everyone is gone. Just by myself. Then I...
    mirkwood86 mirkwood86 26-30, M Aug 29

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    Today I went for a swim at my local lake. As I jumped into the water with enthusiasm, I was determined to swim to the little island far off in distance. I paddled and paddled and I...
    BLVLFreeSwim BLVLFreeSwim 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 1

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    This is the first time I am opening up about myself, and I truly cannot stand the person I am, all for one small aspect of me that in reality should not be as big of a deal as I...
    skh22 skh22 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 7

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    Especially when other people are in the picture. When others speak fondly of me, I get upset. I want them to just shut up, and that makes me feel like a bad person. Some days I...
    iKitKat iKitKat 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    Leave me alone for now I'm deep in thought, treacherous territory I know It's what I must do to decompress from a day of scattered thought I never thought I'd get to a stage where...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 5 days ago

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    I hate myself for all the lies and deception I inflicted on my current boyfriend. I blame my family particularly. I am a cheater and this means I have broken my own value system. I...
    Deadlynightshade5 Deadlynightshade5 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 27

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    I have cut myself multiple times. I used to insert safety pins into my wrists whenever I was suffering. I tried to overdose myself with glucophage and adol, that I've lost count.I...
    BridaPaulo BridaPaulo 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 3

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    I look at myself sometimes and wonder why I'm still here. Many moments in my past I could have easily stumbled further than I have. It has become quite a battle to journey through...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 3 days ago

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    I am 5'7 and 205 pounds. In high school I used to be 120 pounds and looked sick, but I felt beautiful. I hate myself so much for how much weight I put on. I hate going outside...
    Calicogirl20 Calicogirl20 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 21

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    Umm this started when 9 idk how well i stared talking to myself my room LOL Kun idk know how i stared but i talk to myself alot alot and its normal for me i get caught by my little...
    Deeshnay Deeshnay 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 21

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    I like myself very much. I take care of myself. I never let anything go to waste. I find myself very attractive. I like myself very much. I knew I was going to live a happy life...
    lycheechan lycheechan 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    When I get frustrated or extremely upset or argue with someone I want to hurt myself. Its mainly when I argue with my close friends and mother. I feel so bad about things I said or...
    kleox7x kleox7x 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    I never for a second thought my life would take the turns it has I'm greatly appreciated for all the people I have met, love, lost Along the way, you are my current saviours For...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    It doesn't matter what the outcome is Just the way you reach your end game That's the most important step that can be achieved Don't pay attention to the naysayers that sit by the...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 5 days ago

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    I forget the days as the nights close in they all seem to run together now. For reasons unknown to me the medication agreement I have accepted Has placed me in a mellow zone, free...
    PoeticMute PoeticMute 31-35, M 3 days ago

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    I love things but I make myself believe I don't love them. I hate things and I try to love them. I know how am I yet I try to change! I know that I want to be intersting yet I try...
    Idonotcareanymore Idonotcareanymore 18-21 2 days ago