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I Am Married, Lonely And Crave Intimacy

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,267 People

    I think the institution of marriage is very

    outdated and should be changed. Maybe have the option every ten years to renew the contract or just divide assets and go your separate ways. How can two people commit for a lifetime in these changing times when you are such a different person at age 40 vs. 20. Let's be...
    mwessley mwessley 41-45, M 5 Responses Feb 25

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    LONG DISTANCE SUCKS. Ok I'm not married,

    but in a serious relationship. It's been long distance for a year. Can people share with me their experience in long distance relationships? Me and my girlfriend share everything. But over the past few months my girlfriend has told me about how she sort of has feelings for...
    Hbow Hbow 22-25, M May 8

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    Not so much lonely for company

    as lonely for intimacy. My wife likes having me at home as much as possible, but she has little interest in being phsycial with me. She has an autoimmune disorder so she is sick much of the time and not really in a good mood to talk, touch, or do anything. I admit that I am a...
    LostInTheWoulds LostInTheWoulds 46-50, M 5 Responses Feb 8

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    Light From A Dark Place

    Pretty cool and completely unexpected thing happened tonight… I looked at my wife and was captivated by her beauty, all over again. It had been a long while since I looked at her that way. I had target fixation. I couldn’t turn away. I haven't seen her in that light for...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Mar 7, 2013

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    Some Days More Than Others

    Today is definately one of those. Even though I've known this for a few years now, it is still hard when I'm reminded that I'm totally alone. At least in my marriage. When I have a bad day the only thing I can count on is him making it worse. It is my fault because we never...
    jencpa jencpa 31-35, F 5 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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    I know what's lacking.

    Affection on both sides. We've been together for 14 years, have one child, we've changed. We've stuck it out cause it's not a completely miserable marriage. We've walked through fire together, on our own and have remained united. We've put each other to the test, both done the...
    idleheart idleheart 26-30, M 2 Responses May 20

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    I am hoping someone can understand

    and tell me how to deal with this. Now i might sound like being a wuss when i say leaving my wife is not an option as i have 2 beautiful and awesome kids. Divorce is tough on us but more tougher on the kids. But intimacy is important to me and when i cannot get to hold or...
    manchalaladka manchalaladka 36-40, M 10 Responses Mar 28

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    Having the biggest sexual frustration.

    I have a hard time getting off. I can go for pretty much 24 hrs and it bugs me a lot of times. ******* off makes it worse and **** does nothing for me. And it doesn't help. My woman feels bad after words cuz she taps out and well then I am left standing there still hard. She...
    saint0928 saint0928 18-21, M 1 Response May 10

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    Being practical, I don't believe a solution

    will be created to solve the feelings of emptiness that I seek to fill. The best possible outcome, is this would be an outlet to rant and rave the thoughts to the internet. While my situation is not much different from those who wrote before, so many factors and conditions exist...
    ronniepaulmichigan ronniepaulmichigan 51-55, M Feb 15

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    I've tried so hard to make my relationship work

    over 6 years.. My husband makes my cry every other day. Don't think he means to we have just become horrible to each other. I can't even sleep next to him anymore. Lately I've been feeling so lonely, is that crazy? I've been having day dreams about other guys and the kind of...
    js82 js82 31-35, F 18 Responses Apr 27

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    I have left food behind.

    .... Now I'm just hungry for what food was taking the place of. I want to have a man that wants to be with me. Wants to dance in the kitchen.... Kiss my neck while I'm doing the dishes. He will tell me a song made him think of me. He will pour a glass of wine and want to sit with...
    IlBacio IlBacio 46-50, F 57 Responses May 24

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    Untouchable

    Now I'm at the point where I can't even be in the same room with anymore. I find myself dreaming of a life without him and it excites me. Days spent doing what I want. Days watching movies I want to watch. Days of being lazy without the anxiety of him becoming angry because...
    baabes72 baabes72 41-45, F 9 Responses Jul 21, 2013

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    I was and I guess technically I still am in a

    marriage which was sexless except for the once a few months streak of three days in a row then nothing again. Only to find out that she was cheating the whole time and when I confronted her she said if I was taking care of her she wouldn't have to cheat. I'm happy she is gone...
    guyhasname guyhasname 36-40, M Mar 3

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    My husband doesn't talk to me.

    We don't go on dates. We don't have sex. He snores so loudly that we hardly even sleep together. And he literally sleeps so far away from me that I can't even touch him. We have 3 kids, ages 9, 13, and 16. I seriously fantasize about dating someone else and having romance again...
    Tejaschick Tejaschick 46-50, F 9 Responses Jun 18

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    Another night, wide awake ,

    while she goes to bed early, rolls to her side as far from me as possible. Another night, like all the nights for the past 8yrs I crave to hold, touch, kiss. There's no kissing me. I always have to initiate it. Why? Why? Why? I'm 37. Too damn young for this.
    Jblonely1 Jblonely1 36-40, M 12 Responses Dec 28, 2013

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    What happens when you ask 20 complete strangers

    to pair up and kiss for the first time? What this link. It is beautiful. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/11/tatia-pileva-first-kiss-strangers_n_4940669.html?icid=maing-grid7|maing7|dl13|sec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D452850
    OutOfPatience OutOfPatience 61-65, M 1 Response Mar 12

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    Being lonely and wanting intimacy have got to

    be some of the worst feelings ever. It's not even about sex, I can get sex, I can initiate it, and I'll even enjoy it to a point, but I don't feel connected. There are so many things that I just don't share anymore. It's like I'm not important...me, the part on the inside. I...
    Xroads1017 Xroads1017 36-40, F 8 Responses Jun 1

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    So, I speak up and say my thoughts

    and instead he's screaming and I am calm,too frightening, because for the 2nd time I didn't give a **** nor did I care I looked at him and said don't talk to me that way I am not your servant or your kid. I realize I have no more care for him just tolerate him I no longer am...
    Greneyes2148 Greneyes2148 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 10

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    The Conversation

    Finally. A real honest to goodness conversation. One in which neither of them loses their temper and they both say what they want to say. She tells him about the pain of the rejection and why now she feels their intimacy degenerated into something she could no longer tolerate...
    backtovanessabet backtovanessabet 41-45, F 5 Responses Oct 28, 2013

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    Perfect Endings?

    I wanted a perfect ending, now I've learned, the hard way, that some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, or end. Life is about not knowing. It's about having to change. Then taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
    southernbelle93126 southernbelle93126 36-40, F 7 Responses Dec 29, 2012

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    I am craving attention from my husband

    or any other form of human reaction. I don't get out of the house because I can't drive and he is gone 5 days a week. I sit home 5 of those days and feel like I am withering away. He is seeing a world without me. When he comes home we don't even sleep in the same bed. He comes...
    mrcrackers mrcrackers 36-40 3 Responses Mar 1

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    Living in a marriage

    when you are lonely and wanting intimacy is just existing , it is not truly living life...........it should not be this way ....
    Steven49WPG Steven49WPG 46-50, M May 9

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    There Is No Intimacy, In Any Form, In My Marriage

    My husband and I have become no more than roommates. While he seems perfectly content this has made me incredibly unhappy and sad to the point I am considering leaving. I don't want to live like this any longer. For many years we couldn't keep our hands off on another, always...
    Moonwillow85 Moonwillow85 41-45, F 22 Responses Sep 17, 2011

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    I Am Married But I Am Always Lonely

    I am in my 30's, married 6 yrs , 2 kids , great job but my life feels empty. I try to consume myself with projects, church, crafts and my kids, but it seems so lonely at times. I dont have any real friends anymore. i crave companionship. i found out my husband was less than...
    121berry 121berry 36-40 5 Responses Sep 27, 2013

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    I want to feel alive in the arms of a woman.

    Someone that cares about who I really am and not just what I can provide for her.
    mwessley mwessley 41-45, M 3 Responses Mar 24

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    I have been married for 27 years

    and want out! I married him because we had sex on our first date and I got pregnant. I was 15 and he was 18. I was too young to know what love was but we were forced to marry. After 27 years and 4 kids, I want out. He is a sweet man, very caring and a great provider but I am not...
    ThatchickAMarie ThatchickAMarie 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 8

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    Another frustrating night

    but I'm not gonna whine about it ... Time for a different approach
    gagal2014 gagal2014 41-45, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    deekshaa deekshaa 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 27

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    I'm envious of women

    because they can so discreetly take care of their own needs in bed next to a sleeping spouse. I can't tell you how humiliating it is when you wake your spouse because you were shaking the bed!
    mydreamsonly mydreamsonly 31-35, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I am married and crave intimacy b/c there is

    none where I am now. I never had this trouble when I was single isn't that odd?
    blondeambition1975 blondeambition1975 36-40, F 8 Responses May 21

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    Together Yet Alone

    Sitting in the silence, the years brought absence.Loves grown distant and cold. Two ships that pass in the night, one no longer aware of the other. As something misplaced, but no longer sought, who would had known, who would had thought. This love dies a lonely death, where lies...
    Waymor Waymor 46-50, M 6 Responses Sep 24, 2012

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    I crave to hold and kiss my wife,

    for the first time since being married, I am actively looking for the opportunity to have an affair . I do not condone an affair, but I really want someone to hold, kiss, and have sex with. The sex I get at home, but the intimacy of the act is what I really desire.
    Dowright Dowright 46-50, M 2 Responses Feb 16

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    Dinner Date

    We don't go out much any more, mostly due to finances, but sometimes its nice... Last night was totally worth it, too! It was the usual, crowded room, her going on about herself, loud music... But then I saw you across the room. I noticed you first, your face glowing in the...
    2feetApart 2feetApart 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 28, 2013

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    In many ways my wife

    and I get along great. We enjoy each others company and have fun together. But she often struggles, and when she struggles she is mean and anxious and I just don't feel safe being genuine with her. I never know when I will say the wrong thing and she will be triggered. And I...
    ThroughAGlassDarkly ThroughAGlassDarkly 31-35, M 4 Responses Jul 11

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    The thing about this is.

    .. We are applying an antiquated, Victorian moral landscape to marriage and relationships. They take a ton of work (married 20 years this August) and people evolve (or devolve) over time of course but the question is are humans meant to be sexual omnivores? I read our DNA is...
    3rdestate 3rdestate 46-50, M May 12

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    I have been with my husband

    for almost 20 years. We spend our time at home in separate rooms. I get very lonely and feel like I'm living with someone I don't know. There is no kissin hugging or affection we barely talk. The only affection is if he wants sex which is now once a month. I reached out to hug...
    gagal2014 gagal2014 41-45, F 6 Responses a week ago

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    Why

    Every day i start my day happy and positive while inside im lonely yet nobody knows, or would believe it. I have spent years covering it up with work, material things etc. Ive been married now for 12 years to a wonderful wife who loves me yet our needs are so different. We have...
    liverpoolnut liverpoolnut 41-45, M 7 Responses May 9, 2013

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    5 years of marriage-and I feel like a stranger.

    Like he just doesn't see me. We have reduced our relationship to polite hellos and obligatory kindness. No-I am not waiting for him to do all the work-I have done what I could to try and keep us as intimate as possible. I have suggested, planned, surprised him-done things...
    bellaenchant95 bellaenchant95 41-45, F 9 Responses May 14

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    If You Only Knew

    After being married to the same person for almost 36 years I thought I knew my husband. Turns out everything I thought about my husband was all wrong. All these years I really thought he loved me and now I really believe that he never really loved me. With each day that passes...
    teri58 teri58 51-55, F 14 Responses Jul 25, 2011

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    Intimacy = In 2 Me See

    Little bit about me. We got married in 2007 but been together since 2001. We have two kids together, and she has two more kids from other men that I have raised as my own. I work full time, in college working on counseling degree, I run an outreach that works with young adults...
    boss21519 boss21519 31-35, M 5 Responses Jul 11, 2012

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    I am married but yet feel

    so alone, our sex life is very minimal and I have cravings that are so intense yet ignored.. I am a very sexual female and I live think and breathe it! I'm not really sure if my husband is just going through changes in his sexual appetite. Whatever the case maybe it is very...
    TandT0420 TandT0420 36-40, F 34 Responses Mar 21

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    i gues theres no option

    or no gateway to be through this... i feel so blurting things out at times!!
    nowayitsthesame nowayitsthesame 22-25 1 Response May 21

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    Massages, Roses, Nothing Seems To Help

    We've been in this sexless marriage for a long time and i'm trying to do everything i can think of. Seeing a counselor (until she decided she'd had enough). For Christmas I got her a 1-hour massage and other fun stuff at a spa. For Valentines day I got her two dozen red roses...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 23, 2013

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    I've felt like this for quite some time now.

    He has cheated and disrespect me so much. That I'm no longer attracted to him. I miss that feeling of having a connection with not just my husband but my friend. Now, I'm having an affair. I know it's not right but i feel stuck..
    Shawneeluv Shawneeluv 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 6

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    I was trying to find a group

    that would best fit my "story" and this one seemed to fit well. Although I am married, I am lonely and crave intimacy....yes. Actually this has been a problem for quite some time---infrequent intimacy, little affection, lots of harsh criticism and insults.... but NOW due to the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    I Understand Now, But Struggling To Accept

    The very condensed version - I was happily married and had a romantic intimate relationship with my husband. We were the world to each other. He died suddenly. I was so alone. I dated, but still felt very alone. I did finally accept that no one would ever replace the love I had...
    baystar baystar 46-50, F 2 Responses May 19, 2013

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    Over

    I'm over bein married it's over rated it really is I am drained emotionally physically and mentally I am in a marriage where I am the only adult and the only one fighting for marriage!!
    mommaof3boys1girl mommaof3boys1girl 26-30, F 7 Responses Nov 17, 2013

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    This Is A Classic Example Of "married, Lonely And Craving..."

    My wife is not a monster. She is not evil. But she is terribly messed up and in her world of a huge pile of mentally debilitating s*** she has brought on herself, one of the things that crops up in her life almost every day is paranoia. She's paranoid about me and my kids. Yes...
    deleted deleted 26-30 23 Responses Feb 22, 2011

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    rahulmahi rahulmahi 22-25, M Mar 29

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    Related Experiences

    I have found that there is some misunderstanding about what married and lonely seems to mean. There are different ways a person can feel lonely in a marriage. It can be emotionally...
    Olivia2014 Olivia2014 31-35, F 10 Responses Jul 2

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    I think that I am going to making more of my marriage posts in the "I am Married" group. I realized that although I feel lonely at times the general members that post in "Married...
    Olivia2014 Olivia2014 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 7

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    Do any other married but lonely people here feel emotionally paralyzed by the loneliness in your marriage? I do. It is not every single day but often enough to be significant to me...
    Olivia2014 Olivia2014 31-35, F 15 Responses Jul 16

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    I am looking for someone that's married and lonely Ias for me I'm going through the same thing the sexual feeling is that there no more she is always rejecting me
    dmedina513 dmedina513 36-40, M 3 Responses Jul 6