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I Am Married to a Narcissistic Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 380 People

    "A Narcissist’s Love Letter" By: John

    Howell When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my...
    invisible321 invisible321 51-55, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Am I? This could very well be turned into a

    book, to keep it short or shorter I've known him for 23 years, we've been married 17 years , we have 3 kids and of those 17 years I can tell you three FULL days where I can truly say I was happy the days my children were born. When he does something stupid or just doesnt do...
    huckleberry03 huckleberry03 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 27

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    Of Course It's All About The Food

    Food-day in, day out, a person has to eat something. Day in, day out, offspring must be provided with sustenance.  For a child on the spectrum, food is a big issue. Planning ahead for allergies, for nutrition, for proper timing, for enough food during the day to prevent night...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout 51-55 6 Responses May 25, 2013

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    I am a smart and capable woman of above-average

    appearance who had gut feelings something was "missing" in my husband and I married him anyway at 46 after being single for 12 years. I have found solace in reading others' experiences here and thought I would share mine. People think we are the golden couple - he sold his...
    Brainsbeforebeauty Brainsbeforebeauty 46-50, F 3 Responses May 10

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    Where do I start? We have been together 15

    years and married for 12 years. He is 66 and I am about 9 years younger. He has a sense of entitlement second to none, from the food he expects to eat, the gadgets he wants, trips away (at least 3 per year), socialising and drinking and of course his boat. We are by no...
    Anothercrazyday Anothercrazyday 56-60, F 2 Responses Jan 27

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    I never thought I would be here.

    When I fell in love with my husband 14 years ago I was the happiest woman. I had a man that would do anything for me. Surprised me with flowers and cards. He was always thinking of me. When we had our children I thought wow..I have everything and I could not be happier. Then...
    classynsassy34 classynsassy34 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 9

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    Working Through The Loneliness And Anger

    This is my first time posting to the EP. I'd like to start by saying I finally have found enormous relief in reading all these stories: my husband's personality and behavior has a name; I am not indeed crazy; and I am not alone. My story is similar to many: I have been married...
    Gigibee Gigibee 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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    I have been married for 27 years to a

    narcissistic man. I have tried to fix, read books, gone to counseling with and without him, seminars, done what the church said etc. I am done. As I call him on his stuff he gets more upset. Obviously. I have a 16 year old son and am a stay at home mom who has no worked in 16...
    bagette123 bagette123 56-60, F 2 Responses Jan 12

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    Run, Run, as Fast As You Can, You Can't Catch Me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!

    No, this doesn't describe the narcissistic spouse. The story of the gingerbread man is my story at the hands of narcissism.  A woman bakes a gingerbread man who comes to life:  I am the GM, created and molded by my mother the narcissist, an inanimate object created to serve her...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout 51-55 4 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    I think it is more accurate to say he has

    facets of a NPD. We are both Christians, and have 4 young children. Ironically, he is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, and extremely good at what he does. He just does not seem to be able to put into practice the advice he provides. I also have a background in Psychology...
    bellasmom1231 bellasmom1231 51-55, F 1 Response Mar 8

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    Would Love To Have A Support Group! I Need Women To Talk To.

    My husband and I have been together for 3 years now. We have a little girl together and on good days I couldn't be happier. When I got in the relationship I knew he had problems. His mother had taken him to therapist his whole childhood and she did things (in the therapy world...
    HcgSeikou HcgSeikou 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2012

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    30 years later to many affairs to count

    realizing my husband is a narcissist been pure he'll blame me for everything thinks he's GOD always right he's self absorbed self centered non compassionate liar Cheater selfish is & always been about him but he pretends it's about you terrible with money because he has no self...
    wasted30 wasted30 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    HELP !!!!! Mothers of children of narcisstic

    fathers What do you do when your 15 year old is repeating comments that your N uses ??? Whenever N is confronted or asked to be accountable his response is " don't abuse me " My 15 year old is saying this now to me ! It enrages me as I know he's mirroring his father! Asked...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 22

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    Things really the same I feel numb i thought

    talking to him , friends would help it hasn't he said sorry apologized sent flowers but the pain still there we even set up marriage counseling appt. The problem is I don't know If I can ever trust him again I know he doesn't want to divorce but I don't know if he's capable if...
    wasted30 wasted30 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    I am thinking About leaving.

    We have a very nice house together but at this point I think I'm going to cut my losses and just leave. We have an 8 and 10 year old together and I want it as painless as possible on them. I think the best way to avoid drama is to just leave with what I have. Any thoughts?
    mandyp21 mandyp21 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 9

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    I don't know what to do about my marriage to my

    narcissistic husband. I've been with him for about 25 years, but the last few years have been the hardest. My husband is in his 60's and I am in my 40's. We have what I call a parent child relationship. He corrects me and scolds me as though I were five years old. Sometimes...
    bint43 bint43 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 18

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    Oops. At first I thought he was spontaneous

    and fun. Now I realize these activities are a search for narcissistic supply- his drug. He needs it, can't live without it, his life is ruled by getting his next fix. When I came to this revelation I was extremely distrurbed; I felt like I was in a hell that I myself created...
    somerbunni703 somerbunni703 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 30

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    When Is Enough....Enough......?

    We have been married for 28 years , together for 29. We have grown children and a grandchild. I have always know he was verbally and emotionally abusive but only in the last couple of year did i realise there are quite a lot of Narc traits. No empathy whatsoever....he is right...
    Morethanthis2013 Morethanthis2013 51-55, F 4 Responses May 12, 2013

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    I am married to a narcissistic man.

    I have a love/hate relationship with him. I don't even know where to start. I feel so trapped and alone. He denies any sort of problem and thinks he needs no help. We have been together for 14 years. I left him a year ago and it was a temporary separation. I felt the best I had...
    mandyp21 mandyp21 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 8

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    Unbreakable Soul

    I'm so glad I found this site. Most all the sites and forums I have found are for people who are divorced from a narcissist.I am a woman who is in her 30's married to a narcissist man for 12 years, together for 14. It wasn't till the past few months that I discovered what a...
    StillUnbreakable StillUnbreakable 31-35 10 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    After my emotional and physical withdrawal from

    years of his torment- cyvle of abuse . Tonight he aims with sarcasm for a reaction??? Repeats the sarcastic remark - like I didn't hear you the 1st time ? I leave room unexplained , no response. Only to have him come to my room.... To yet try to complain about my sons TV being...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 20

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    Such A True Quote

    "Living with a narcissist is the loneliest screw you'll ever have. Once the initial false 'Image of a Man' disappears, you're left with a man that you do and do and do for, but who is never there for you in return. This is a man with a counterfeit heart; past his initial charm...
    OctaviaM OctaviaM 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 3, 2012

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    I am still married. We have been married 23

    years. We have an amazing 17 year old son. I feel so stupid! I am just realizing that my husband is a narcissist. For so many years I beat myself up trying so hard to please him, to get him to treat me right. He as emotionally distant, negative towards my family (he looks down...
    Teridf Teridf 46-50, F 10 Responses Jan 17

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    So I got married 6 weeks ago today.

    As soon as we said I do all the love stopped. He is an alcoholic and promised to detox and go to treatment. He did do the detox and I stayed by his side in the hospital for a week getting no sleep and still working. After the detox he was so mean and refused to go to the...
    mischa1975 mischa1975 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 1

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    Living In Constant Fear

    I met my husband when I was 17.  My parents had sort of stopped parenting me at around 16, and I was looking for direction and also looking to be needed.  As an only child from divorced parents it always felt to me that I was a burden and in the way. Anyway, I met a...
    ready2quit ready2quit 26-30 7 Responses Apr 10, 2009

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    I've been in a marriage to an narcissist

    for almost 25 years. It wasn't until recently that I realized it. All of the signs were there, but I guess I was in denial. He never shows signs of jealousy (like my friends husbands do ) despite our age difference of over 20 years. He rarely says please or thank you. Yet...
    bint43 bint43 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 21

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    Still in this mess feeling angry stupid he

    doesn't care always about him his feeling what I didn't do in the relationship to meet his needs I no I'm week fighting cancer for the 2nd time 1 day GOD will give me the strength I need to leave him
    wasted30 wasted30 46-50, F 2 Responses Apr 24

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    The Marriage Mirage ~

    It's a ritual that we repeat over and over. I weaken and begin to reach out to you. I reach for a mirage, a distant reflexion that never actually existed. It was an elaborate facade, that existed only in the make believe world of our happy marriage. But I still miss you.   I...
    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 15, 2011

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    I married my high school love,

    the one who appeared on my doorstep to tell me to give him his things, in 1978. No why, no reason, just poof and he was gone. for 27 years, and then poof, there he was. still handsome, still so sweet. to make it quick, he doted on me, my kids, did all sorts of odd jobs around my...
    3rdtimezthecharm 3rdtimezthecharm 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 17

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    Well i don't know where to start,

    but i know i need some help.. My husband treats me like crap, he looks at me with such disgust sometimes and its 10 times worse if he has been drinking. He makes me feel like i irritate and annoy him just being here.. He never comes in our home in a bright mood its always...
    melonie1 melonie1 46-50, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Traits Seems To Match...

    There's a joke online that says... How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? a. Just one - but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him. b. None at all - he hires menials for work that's beneath him. In researching sites I came across one that...
    Cybie617 Cybie617 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 26, 2012

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    My Hell

    I met this man 3 years ago, at that time he was having a very bad personal moment (he had to move from the country he was living the last 20 years leaving all his family and "life" there to live compleatly alone). As i have a handle, supporting and caring personality i felt very...
    marirosi marirosi 41-45, F 13 Responses Nov 24, 2011

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    Narcissitic Men Will Never Get It - They Cannot They Have No Empathy

    I dated my husband for about a year. It was an agonizing, crazy making time. Whenever there was even the slightest conflict needing resolution, or he felt the slightest slight he would run or rage. He would never address the issues. Such as if I shared I was hurt about the cruel...
    cnlegal cnlegal 46-50, F 8 Responses Jul 3, 2009

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    Read what I wrote want to cry I'd have the best

    advice for someone else but with me paralyzed in fear EVERYONE would be shocked I appear to be strong smart pull together I keep it in they have no idea I been protecting him covering for his bullshit making him look better than he is got 30 years I'm upset with myself feel like...
    wasted30 wasted30 46-50, F Apr 8

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    Im Freeing Myself...

    Here are 5 Steps to Ending a Relationship with a Narcissist: 1. Distance yourself emotionally and physically from this person. If they are a co-worker, do not accept their invitations anymore. If it's a boyfriend, take a step back to get your bearings so you can walk away. If...
    joizee143 joizee143 41-45, F 3 Responses Oct 14, 2013

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    Today I had yo call 911 he threatened to the a

    cup of coffee on me on my face yelling with the cup because he couldn't find his cell phone accusing me of having it he packed & left I'm relieved
    wasted30 wasted30 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    I Hate To Admit It...

    Yes, I hate to admit it to myself. I think there must be something wrong with me to have allowed this to have happened. I don't think he was always like this...but maybe he was. I don't know. We have been married over 20 years... What I do know is that in the last 5 years, my...
    ahappynewday ahappynewday 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    Can I Salvage My Marriage To A Narcisisstic Husband?

    My husband and I met in college....we were so young and so in love. We had dated for several years and I thought that I found the perfect man for me....funny, outgoing, kind, loving and attractive. All of this changed the day we got married. He had an anxiety attack (his large...
    rubixgirl rubixgirl 36-40, F 7 Responses Feb 12, 2013

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    Its nearly 4am, it's raining

    and I'm wide awake. In bed, alone! My husband is snoring his head off in the spare room and I'm afraid he's really going to leave me this time. I've been married for 2 years, with him for 6 and slowly but surely I've realised he is a narcissistic man. Today alone I dealt with...
    pickledpear pickledpear 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 19

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    In A Relationship With A Narcissistic Man

    My fiance is a narcissist.  I always knew he was a self-centered, selfish, perfectionist but I had know idea the implications until I began reading up on it.   I actually googled "my boyfriend looks in the mirror during sex."   In the beginning of the relationship, he was...
    lonelyIN2012 lonelyIN2012 41-45 10 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    I Never Thought This Would Happen To Me But It Did And I'M Dealing With It

    I've been married for 6 years and it was a whirlwind romance, short engagement and I did think I found my life partner. He's a very charismatic and attractive man and is the "life of the party". Everyone thinks he is the best and according to him I'm the only one that doesn't...
    Thingswillgetbetter1 Thingswillgetbetter1 41-45 9 Responses Feb 28, 2013

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    Divorcing A Narc..

    I just discovered that there exists Narcissistic Abuse. I knew my husband was verbally and emotionally abusive, but I am so glad to find support groups and forums that accurately explains and confirms what I've gone through for the past 12 years. I read on a NARC blog, that...
    the16thdae the16thdae 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 24, 2013

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    Am At a Loss

    I am going back and forth from feeling numb to devastated. I don't know what to do. I have been with my husband since i was 17 I am know 35. I recently lost a child which brought me to counseling. While in counseling I realized my husband is a narcissistic person. I had had...
    sarakay sarakay 31-35 4 Responses Aug 8, 2009

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    My Husband Should Have Married Himself

    I have been married to a narcissistic abuser for 14 years. Everything is about his needs and opinions, nobody else's.  Yet he has extreme doubts in every decision he needs to make, whether choosing a paint color or what to do about his cholesterol. He puts...
    staystrong92 staystrong92 41-45, F 17 Responses Sep 11, 2008

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    Let me start off by saying I love my husband.

    That's what makes me realizing that he suffers from NPD so much harder to deal with. Going to a therapist isn't going to happen.. Because in his mind, everyone around him is the problem, not him. Michael, my husband, was quick to sweep me off my feet. We were living together in...
    Jacki1977 Jacki1977 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 11

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    I have been married 27 years.

    He is a hoarder and I believe is a narcissist. His motto in life is "I say what I have to to get what I want." He has no friends and I and my kids can't have people over because of all "his" stuff is piled all over. Recently he has fixated on the lawn guy. Since he has not...
    adamsmom0 adamsmom0 46-50, F 3 Responses May 25

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    Can Narcissistics Change Thier Behavior?

    Some people with milder versions of narcissistic behavior may change when they stand to lose something or someone they love. Some have to undergo a humbling experience or a great emotional loss before they start to admit their defensiveness and inability to take responsibility...
    westsideblues1 westsideblues1 41-45, F 4 Responses Jun 12, 2013

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    Mild Narcissism? Is there

    such a thing as mild narcissism? I know for sure my husband of 2 years is an N (together for 6 total), but he is more good than bad. His temper has gotten more out of control lately though. I always knew he had a bad temper but now that I know what all the other N symptoms are...
    TurquoiseWater TurquoiseWater 31-35, F 3 Responses May 12

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    Used Up

    my narcissist was a lunatic. I had to take mood stabilizers, antidepressants and hours on hours of counseling just to survive him. He decided to leave in the "N"s usual elaborate fashion, causing a big drama all the way out the door. But I gotta be honest, it has been the best...
    wonderingkitten wonderingkitten 31-35, F 6 Responses Nov 18, 2011

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    I have been married for 3 months

    and my husband tells me he knows he is narcissistic then he says but I still love you. I decided to do a lot of research and my husband fits the bill to a T. He doesn't care about anything that has to do with me. If I disagree with him or I dont like any of his hobbies or...
    owlcity28 owlcity28 22-25, F 5 Responses Jan 16

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    I am 10 yrs out of a 4 year relationship with a

    narcissist. I didn't know it had a name back then. All I know is that I started out a balanced sane and educated woman and ended up an emotional wreck. My ex treated me like a lady in public and switched immediately to belittling me, ignoring me completely and hurling verbal...
    poppet55 poppet55 51-55, F 1 Response Mar 14

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    The realisation and relief in knowing there is

    a disorder a name a explanation for ALL those things that your partner has bestowed on you . The enlightenment is like a weight lifted Even if there no narcissitc injury of such at the minute .... You can finally see in almost every communication.... The narcissm Watching a...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    20 Year Marriage to a Narcissist

    I am married to a narcissist or "N", or at least someone with very strong narcissistic characteristics.  Now, I realize my father was (is still) an N, and that's why I married one.  It was familar, it was what I knew.   I recently stumbled on to a book...
    maypop maypop 46-50, F 57 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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