I Am Married to a Narcissistic Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 458 People

    So I left my husband about two

    and a bit months ago, since then have been yelled at, lied to , lied about, called names and that I am troubled. It has been awful... Then two weeks ago he swapped to wanting me back, has tried to kiss and hug me, says he is going to fight me and then today sent me half a...
    iamnoonyouknow iamnoonyouknow
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Oct 15, 2015

    I am a smart and capable woman of above-average

    appearance who had gut feelings something was "missing" in my husband and I married him anyway at 46 after being single for 12 years. I have found solace in reading others' experiences here and thought I would share mine. People think we are the golden couple - he sold his...
    Brainsbeforebeauty Brainsbeforebeauty
    46-50, F
    3 Responses May 10, 2014

    Is this normal... I asked my husband to pick

    up our child and get some milk after he got off work... I was hesitant to do this, because I am always walking on eggshells, but I did... He was upset that I asked and said he was just getting off work. I told him I was still working and it would be helpful. He said okay and...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Feb 25, 2016

    When you work part time to substitute income

    Have done EVERYTHING for your family Only one that runs house , maintains gardens home Does all the running around clean cool all kids appointments school responsibilities and your NARC uses the phase " I pay the bills " Seriously what planet are they on??? Currently in the...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Oct 5, 2015

    My Hell

    I met this man 3 years ago, at that time he was having a very bad personal moment (he had to move from the country he was living the last 20 years leaving all his family and "life" there to live compleatly alone). As i have a handle, supporting and caring personality i felt very...
    marirosi marirosi
    41-45, F
    13 Responses Nov 24, 2011

    Mines is very selfish.

    He doesn't seem concerned with or even care about my basic well being. As long as he is happy, everything is alright.
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Dec 15, 2015
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Sep 16, 2015

    The realisation and relief in knowing there is

    a disorder a name a explanation for ALL those things that your partner has bestowed on you . The enlightenment is like a weight lifted Even if there no narcissitc injury of such at the minute .... You can finally see in almost every communication.... The narcissm Watching a...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Jul 15, 2014

    I like going out and reading everyone's post

    because it makes me realize that I am not alone. Howver, I don't believe a narcissistic person can change UNLESS they get help an most will not realize they have a problem because in their mind, they are not the issue. they can only focus on themselves and if they are content...
    NvrKnow NvrKnow
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Mar 1, 2016

    I have been with the same man

    for 20 years, married for 17. He is an alcoholic and I just recently came across the term Narcissist and I cried because I finally understand why I feel like I am going mentally insane... It has been 20 years of verbal and mental abuse and of course the alcoholism, which of...
    parosin parosin
    46-50, F
    5 Responses Sep 11, 2015

    How do I turn the tables?

    What could be the best way to beat a narcissist? I still live with him since I'm on the process of working on my leave.
    ObsidianSky ObsidianSky
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Mar 14, 2016

    Definitely on the verge!

    It sometimes takes every ounce of energy to NOT engage in the "battle" of Bullshit! It's not really BS...sometimes one has a valid point! And I'm am standing here fretting and "freaking out" on the b.s., because HONESTLY, I can write page after page of his and yell and throw...
    2bMeAgain 2bMeAgain
    2 Responses May 30, 2015

    I have been married to a N man

    for 28 years and I was totally in the dark about this disorder until about 2 years ago. I always thought if I just communicated to him correctly, he would see how he was hurting his family and stop! Now I know better, however, I constantly struggle with FORGETTING he's messed...
    pearl1961 pearl1961
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Oct 20, 2015

    Well i don't know where to start,

    but i know i need some help.. My husband treats me like crap, he looks at me with such disgust sometimes and its 10 times worse if he has been drinking. He makes me feel like i irritate and annoy him just being here.. He never comes in our home in a bright mood its always...
    melonie1 melonie1
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Sep 25, 2014

    I am 10 yrs out of a 4 year relationship with a

    narcissist. I didn't know it had a name back then. All I know is that I started out a balanced sane and educated woman and ended up an emotional wreck. My ex treated me like a lady in public and switched immediately to belittling me, ignoring me completely and hurling verbal...
    poppet55 poppet55
    56-60, F
    Mar 14, 2014

    My husband just left on a business trip

    and didn't say one word to be before leaving. In fact he stopped talking to me yesterday. I'm being "punished" for...damn I have to idea. Married to a #Narcissist.
    deleted deleted
    Oct 11, 2015

    Can Narcissistics Change Thier Behavior?

    Some people with milder versions of narcissistic behavior may change when they stand to lose something or someone they love. Some have to undergo a humbling experience or a great emotional loss before they start to admit their defensiveness and inability to take responsibility...
    westsideblues1 westsideblues1
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Jun 12, 2013

    My husband is a passive aggressive narcissist.

    Who knew? I didn't think you could be both of those things at one time. Well he has certainly proved me wrong. For example, one night he came in the room where I was watching television. He commented on how I always watch the same type of shows to his dismay and he didn't...
    blutiger blutiger
    46-50, F
    1 Response Mar 25, 2015

    I never thought I would be here.

    When I fell in love with my husband 14 years ago I was the happiest woman. I had a man that would do anything for me. Surprised me with flowers and cards. He was always thinking of me. When we had our children I thought wow..I have everything and I could not be happier. Then...
    classynsassy34 classynsassy34
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Jul 9, 2014

    Are there levels of narcissim?

    What are some good references to learn more about narcissim? I just got The Naked Narcissist. Are there other good sources?
    ZakayahHope ZakayahHope
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Jan 12, 2016

    Every special occasion has been marred XMAS

    easter birthdays Tomoz as my birthday He has upped the anti as expected Im ignoring it on the outside but inside I'm Dying They are cruel cruel entitled people He sits nightly on the couch like a king Entitled in his castle Im damned if I do damned if I don't I make a stand...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall
    51-55, F
    4 Responses Mar 29, 2016

    Unbreakable Soul

    I'm so glad I found this site. Most all the sites and forums I have found are for people who are divorced from a narcissist.I am a woman who is in her 30's married to a narcissist man for 12 years, together for 14. It wasn't till the past few months that I discovered what a...
    StillUnbreakable StillUnbreakable
    9 Responses Apr 9, 2012

    Run, Run, as Fast As You Can, You Can't Catch Me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!

    No, this doesn't describe the narcissistic spouse. The story of the gingerbread man is my story at the hands of narcissism.  A woman bakes a gingerbread man who comes to life:  I am the GM, created and molded by my mother the narcissist, an inanimate object created to serve her...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout
    4 Responses Apr 28, 2013

    Im Freeing Myself...

    Here are 5 Steps to Ending a Relationship with a Narcissist: 1. Distance yourself emotionally and physically from this person. If they are a co-worker, do not accept their invitations anymore. If it's a boyfriend, take a step back to get your bearings so you can walk away. If...
    joizee143 joizee143
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Oct 14, 2013

    Working Through The Loneliness And Anger

    This is my first time posting to the EP. I'd like to start by saying I finally have found enormous relief in reading all these stories: my husband's personality and behavior has a name; I am not indeed crazy; and I am not alone. My story is similar to many: I have been married...
    Gigibee Gigibee
    31-35, F
    8 Responses Jan 27, 2013

    My narc is once again threatening divorce

    after a conflict where he hurt me, I confronted him, he accused me of hurting him (turned the tables) when I confronted his hurtful behavior, and now is telling me we are over which of course he knows hurts me and triggers my abandonment issues. HELP!
    ZakayahHope ZakayahHope
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Jan 17, 2016

    I think I'm married to a narcissist.

    We're almost 16 years into life together and overall it's not been too bad. Zero physical abuse and interestingly enough, lots of empowerment and opportunity for me. Like I've gone from being a meek little thing to a strong, assertive woman, in part because of the loving support...
    leila13 leila13
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 7, 2016

    People have been telling me this

    for years. Until last night I don't think it really hit me. I won't say what happened to make me realize. I've likely posted something similar he has done. But, last night it was as if I was with a stranger. He no longer knows me nor does he care to. And so I've got to stop...
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Apr 27, 2015

    So he has a medical issue

    and is in hospital ! His car is parked there - car needs to be driven home but NO I am not allowed to drive his car he even hides the spare key He tells me that learner driver son can drive with me as instructor but I cannot drive it! Tell him then considering the...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall
    51-55, F
    1 Response Oct 31, 2015

    Day 4 Day 4: Today is about realizing

    that no matter how much I try, care, hurt, or love, I can’t change the narcissist You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration . James Allen Is it wrong to keep hoping the other person will change? Is it wrong to see the other...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jun 16, 2015

    I am just now realizing my husband is a

    Narcissist among other things. We have been together for 39 years and I finally feel brave enough to say I want out! I have been doing so much reading about this and now have found a way to describe his behavior. But why do I feel sorry and guilty for him??? It keeps me from...
    Dawn1118 Dawn1118
    61-65, F
    4 Responses Mar 5, 2016

    "A Narcissist’s Love Letter" By: John

    Howell When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my...
    invisible321 invisible321
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Feb 14, 2014

    I haven't posted in a while

    but wanted to update about my situation. Things have gotten worse. the manipulation and the control tactics are really getting to me. I can see how people have breakdowns or completely go over the edge. I will not allow him to do this to me. I am going to get control of my...
    NvrKnow NvrKnow
    46-50, F
    4 Responses Feb 25, 2016

    20 Year Marriage to a Narcissist

    I am married to a narcissist or "N", or at least someone with very strong narcissistic characteristics.  Now, I realize my father was (is still) an N, and that's why I married one.  It was familar, it was what I knew.   I recently stumbled on to a book...
    maypop maypop
    46-50, F
    63 Responses Sep 5, 2009

    My N had a procedure requiring surgery I chose

    to do a shift Id already committed to prior of my knowledge to when surgery would take place Our son stayed with his father While at work I was telling a colleague of the current situation and N in surgery To which she beckoned " what sort of wife are you "? Being at work...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Nov 5, 2015

    So my husband and I separated three months ago,

    I was the one who finally left him and it was horrible. I have been getting stronger and happier, and started playing on tinder, I was talking to this guy and agreed to go on a date. Thinking a date isn't much, coffee etc no big deal... But of course, I met the guy and we get...
    iamnoonyouknow iamnoonyouknow
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Nov 19, 2015

    I have been a Christian

    for 31 years I have been married for 23 years and have 8 beautiful children. There have been a lot of ups and downs. I have had much depression through the years starting mostly after having my babies. .we have had many close calls but my faith in God and following His word and...
    Bobonomore Bobonomore
    51-55, F
    1 Response Dec 26, 2015

    I have been married to a narcissist

    for 20 years. I am miserable. he has ******** me of all of my self confidence. I am tired of the manipulation and 2016 is going to be a year for me to take back control over my life...
    NvrKnow NvrKnow
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Jan 20, 2016

    I'm married to a Narcissist.

    We have been living apart because of his job. He has been becoming more distant every day. He will talk to me like normal for few days and then go missing. I then get worried and try to contact them by calling, or emailing. He finally called me back and was furious that I had...
    Carlotta33 Carlotta33
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Dec 14, 2015

    Of Course It's All About The Food

    Food-day in, day out, a person has to eat something. Day in, day out, offspring must be provided with sustenance.  For a child on the spectrum, food is a big issue. Planning ahead for allergies, for nutrition, for proper timing, for enough food during the day to prevent night...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout
    5 Responses May 25, 2013

    I am new here and do not know

    where to begin. My husband is very critical of everything I do and always seems to be mad at me for reasons I will never know. He doesn't talk. I have a bad cold right now and he is worse, it's like he sees this as a weakness? I feel hopeless.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Feb 5, 2016

    Well it's the truth, you leave a narcissist,

    they will turn on you, but then be lovely and then turn on you again! I am dizzy, I am spinning and I am oh so tired
    iamnoonyouknow iamnoonyouknow
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Sep 16, 2015

    The Marriage Mirage ~

    It's a ritual that we repeat over and over. I weaken and begin to reach out to you. I reach for a mirage, a distant reflexion that never actually existed. It was an elaborate facade, that existed only in the make believe world of our happy marriage. But I still miss you.   I...
    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita
    41-45, F
    1 Response Oct 15, 2011

    I just recently figured out what was wrong with

    him. All the signs are all there. I wasn't giving him what he wanted and we been separated for almost 2 years now. And now that I have moved on and found someone who loves me he wants me and his daughter back. I'm afraid of him and I won't let him see his daughter because he...
    Pandabearkisses29 Pandabearkisses29
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Sep 26, 2015

    I make dinner every night.

    This is well understood in my household. At 4 he calls to tell me he is stopping at a friends house to pick up some stuff and then coming home. Dinner rolls around and he still isn't home. He finally waltzes in at 8, after I have cleaned up, with no apology and looks at me like...
    lexingtonjane lexingtonjane
    36-40, F
    1 Response Nov 16, 2015

    I WAS married to a Narcissist

    for 35 years. After recovering from ptsd and discovering who I was, a Highly Sensitive Person, I realize now how easy it was hiding behind him rather than BE ME. Not that I ever plan on going back, just saying it isn't easy being so vulnerable in an ego driven world
    VayJayBrigade VayJayBrigade
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Dec 27, 2014

    Day 20: Today is about accepting

    that true narcissism is damaging, and has little, if anything, to do with love, self- love, or being in love with one’s self ... [knowing] a narcissist can be hellish because, to borrow and interpret freely from Gertrude Stein, “There is no there, there.” While Stein was...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jul 20, 2015

    I think I have come to the realisation

    that my husband may be a narcissist. I have been gradually becoming more and more unhappy, and started researching the types of behaviours he has. We have been together five years, married two and a half. We have a 15 month old son and It is his second marriage, the first one...
    iamnoonyouknow iamnoonyouknow
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Aug 20, 2015

    Saturday, June 20 2015 Day 6 30 Days of

    Recovery...by Meredith Resnick Day 6: Today is about lighting up the dark parts inside myself Where grief is fresh, any attempt to divert it only irritates . Samuel Johnson Right now it feels like there is a void inside me, an empty space. Just for today, instead of seeing...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jun 20, 2015

    Narcissitic Men Will Never Get It - They Cannot They Have No Empathy

    I dated my husband for about a year. It was an agonizing, crazy making time. Whenever there was even the slightest conflict needing resolution, or he felt the slightest slight he would run or rage. He would never address the issues. Such as if I shared I was hurt about the cruel...
    cnlegal cnlegal
    46-50, F
    8 Responses Jul 3, 2009

    I have been married to my N

    for 16 years. Last summer I went to see a counselor and after about 5 minutes she told me he was a N. Her next question I thought was kind of funny. She asked are you looking to end it or work on it. It was the way she asked. It was like do I need to convince you to leave or am...
    beckyls beckyls
    46-50, F
    1 Response Feb 6, 2016

    Tonight all my kids were here

    for tea and my grandkids So narc comes home barely speaks to anyone , all whom are sitting around table having a family meal And he takes his prepared meal and goes into the bedroom to eat !!! I don't bother saying anything as we all know how it will just give him a excuse to...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Oct 21, 2015

    I feel so stressed at the moment

    and need to get some of this off my chest! The feeling of being trapped despite the fact I've made the decision in my head many months ago to leave him for good. This decision hasn't come easily because of the children we have that he feigns interest in. If there wasn't a...
    WishfulOptimistic WishfulOptimistic
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Jun 1, 2015

    Our son is getting married this weekend.

    The rehearsal dinner is on Friday and the weeding is Saturday evening. The narcissist that I am married too just proceeded to tell me that he was going to play softball Friday but should be back in time for the dinner and that he was also going to play Saturday morning. The...
    NvrKnow NvrKnow
    46-50, F
    Apr 13, 2016

    Used Up

    my narcissist was a lunatic. I had to take mood stabilizers, antidepressants and hours on hours of counseling just to survive him. He decided to leave in the "N"s usual elaborate fashion, causing a big drama all the way out the door. But I gotta be honest, it has been the best...
    wonderingkitten wonderingkitten
    31-35, F
    6 Responses Nov 18, 2011
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