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I Am Married to a Narcissistic Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 457 People

    I have been married to my N

    for 16 years. Last summer I went to see a counselor and after about 5 minutes she told me he was a N. Her next question I thought was kind of funny. She asked are you looking to end it or work on it. It was the way she asked. It was like do I need to convince you to leave or am...
    beckyls beckyls 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 6

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    Used Up

    my narcissist was a lunatic. I had to take mood stabilizers, antidepressants and hours on hours of counseling just to survive him. He decided to leave in the "N"s usual elaborate fashion, causing a big drama all the way out the door. But I gotta be honest, it has been the best...
    wonderingkitten wonderingkitten 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 18, 2011

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    The realisation and relief in knowing there is

    a disorder a name a explanation for ALL those things that your partner has bestowed on you . The enlightenment is like a weight lifted Even if there no narcissitc injury of such at the minute .... You can finally see in almost every communication.... The narcissm Watching a...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 15, 2014

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    So I left my husband about two

    and a bit months ago, since then have been yelled at, lied to , lied about, called names and that I am troubled. It has been awful... Then two weeks ago he swapped to wanting me back, has tried to kiss and hug me, says he is going to fight me and then today sent me half a...
    iamnoonyouknow iamnoonyouknow 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 15, 2015

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    Unbreakable Soul

    I'm so glad I found this site. Most all the sites and forums I have found are for people who are divorced from a narcissist.I am a woman who is in her 30's married to a narcissist man for 12 years, together for 14. It wasn't till the past few months that I discovered what a...
    StillUnbreakable StillUnbreakable 31-35 9 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    I have posted previously,

    I just don't understand all that is happening to me. I am having denial so bad. I know,what I know is the truth. But why does it seem like I don't want to believe it? I sometimes, get afraid I can't take care of my kids,and he will try to take them from me. I feel so depressed...
    silentworld22 silentworld22 46-50, F 3 Responses Aug 19, 2015

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    Run, Run, as Fast As You Can, You Can't Catch Me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!

    No, this doesn't describe the narcissistic spouse. The story of the gingerbread man is my story at the hands of narcissism.  A woman bakes a gingerbread man who comes to life:  I am the GM, created and molded by my mother the narcissist, an inanimate object created to serve her...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout 51-55 4 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    I'm married to a Narcissist.

    We have been living apart because of his job. He has been becoming more distant every day. He will talk to me like normal for few days and then go missing. I then get worried and try to contact them by calling, or emailing. He finally called me back and was furious that I had...
    Carlotta33 Carlotta33 41-45, F 3 Responses Dec 14, 2015

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    Is he a narcissist? One year

    after I published the ebook Naked Narcissist, many women wrote me about the effect it had on their thinking and how it gave them the needed push to make a positive change. Dear Experience Project ladies, just wanted to say thank you once again as that kind of ebook wouldn't be...
    NarcissistTruth NarcissistTruth 41-45, F 2 Responses Aug 13, 2015

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    I make dinner every night.

    This is well understood in my household. At 4 he calls to tell me he is stopping at a friends house to pick up some stuff and then coming home. Dinner rolls around and he still isn't home. He finally waltzes in at 8, after I have cleaned up, with no apology and looks at me like...
    lexingtonjane lexingtonjane 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2015

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    My narc is once again threatening divorce

    after a conflict where he hurt me, I confronted him, he accused me of hurting him (turned the tables) when I confronted his hurtful behavior, and now is telling me we are over which of course he knows hurts me and triggers my abandonment issues. HELP!
    ZakayahHope ZakayahHope 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 17

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    Would Love To Have A Support Group! I Need Women To Talk To.

    My husband and I have been together for 3 years now. We have a little girl together and on good days I couldn't be happier. When I got in the relationship I knew he had problems. His mother had taken him to therapist his whole childhood and she did things (in the therapy world...
    HcgSeikou HcgSeikou 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2012

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    "A Narcissist’s Love Letter" By: John

    Howell When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my...
    invisible321 invisible321 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 14, 2014

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    I never thought I would be here.

    When I fell in love with my husband 14 years ago I was the happiest woman. I had a man that would do anything for me. Surprised me with flowers and cards. He was always thinking of me. When we had our children I thought wow..I have everything and I could not be happier. Then...
    classynsassy34 classynsassy34 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 9, 2014

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    Divorcing A Narc..

    I just discovered that there exists Narcissistic Abuse. I knew my husband was verbally and emotionally abusive, but I am so glad to find support groups and forums that accurately explains and confirms what I've gone through for the past 12 years. I read on a NARC blog, that...
    the16thdae the16thdae 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 24, 2013

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    20 Year Marriage to a Narcissist

    I am married to a narcissist or "N", or at least someone with very strong narcissistic characteristics.  Now, I realize my father was (is still) an N, and that's why I married one.  It was familar, it was what I knew.   I recently stumbled on to a book...
    maypop maypop 46-50, F 62 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Can Narcissistics Change Thier Behavior?

    Some people with milder versions of narcissistic behavior may change when they stand to lose something or someone they love. Some have to undergo a humbling experience or a great emotional loss before they start to admit their defensiveness and inability to take responsibility...
    westsideblues1 westsideblues1 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 12, 2013

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    The Marriage Mirage ~

    It's a ritual that we repeat over and over. I weaken and begin to reach out to you. I reach for a mirage, a distant reflexion that never actually existed. It was an elaborate facade, that existed only in the make believe world of our happy marriage. But I still miss you.   I...
    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 15, 2011

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    I have been a Christian

    for 31 years I have been married for 23 years and have 8 beautiful children. There have been a lot of ups and downs. I have had much depression through the years starting mostly after having my babies. .we have had many close calls but my faith in God and following His word and...
    Bobonomore Bobonomore 46-50, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2015

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    My husband just left on a business trip

    and didn't say one word to be before leaving. In fact he stopped talking to me yesterday. I'm being "punished" for...damn I have to idea. Married to a #Narcissist.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 11, 2015

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    Are there levels of narcissim?

    What are some good references to learn more about narcissim? I just got The Naked Narcissist. Are there other good sources?
    ZakayahHope ZakayahHope 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 12

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    So he has a medical issue

    and is in hospital ! His car is parked there - car needs to be driven home but NO I am not allowed to drive his car he even hides the spare key He tells me that learner driver son can drive with me as instructor but I cannot drive it! Tell him then considering the...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 31, 2015

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    I think I have come to the realisation

    that my husband may be a narcissist. I have been gradually becoming more and more unhappy, and started researching the types of behaviours he has. We have been together five years, married two and a half. We have a 15 month old son and It is his second marriage, the first one...
    iamnoonyouknow iamnoonyouknow 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 20, 2015

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    Tonight all my kids were here

    for tea and my grandkids So narc comes home barely speaks to anyone , all whom are sitting around table having a family meal And he takes his prepared meal and goes into the bedroom to eat !!! I don't bother saying anything as we all know how it will just give him a excuse to...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2015

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    Day 18: Today is about abstaining from

    reacting— and simply noticing what the narcissist does The narcissist, despite a wealth of charisma almost too good to be true, is riddled with neediness, loneliness, fear, and rage— feelings they have attempted to disown from themselves on both a conscious and an...
    warmways warmways 46-50, F 3 Responses Jul 18, 2015

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    Saturday, June 20 2015 Day 6 30 Days of

    Recovery...by Meredith Resnick Day 6: Today is about lighting up the dark parts inside myself Where grief is fresh, any attempt to divert it only irritates . Samuel Johnson Right now it feels like there is a void inside me, an empty space. Just for today, instead of seeing...
    warmways warmways 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 20, 2015

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    Im Freeing Myself...

    Here are 5 Steps to Ending a Relationship with a Narcissist: 1. Distance yourself emotionally and physically from this person. If they are a co-worker, do not accept their invitations anymore. If it's a boyfriend, take a step back to get your bearings so you can walk away. If...
    joizee143 joizee143 41-45, F 2 Responses Oct 14, 2013

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    My husband is a passive aggressive narcissist.

    Who knew? I didn't think you could be both of those things at one time. Well he has certainly proved me wrong. For example, one night he came in the room where I was watching television. He commented on how I always watch the same type of shows to his dismay and he didn't...
    blutiger blutiger 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 25, 2015

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    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 16, 2015

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    Day 4 Day 4: Today is about realizing

    that no matter how much I try, care, hurt, or love, I can’t change the narcissist You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration . James Allen Is it wrong to keep hoping the other person will change? Is it wrong to see the other...
    warmways warmways 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 16, 2015

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    I have just in the last few weeks,

    realized what a disaster I am in. I have been in it 22 years. I have 3 amazing children. But oh, the hell we have endured! My oldest daughter is a cutter,she has cut since the age of 12,she is now 21. I have always known at some degree,her problems stem from him,but little did I...
    silentworld22 silentworld22 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 11, 2015

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    I have been married to a N man

    for 28 years and I was totally in the dark about this disorder until about 2 years ago. I always thought if I just communicated to him correctly, he would see how he was hurting his family and stop! Now I know better, however, I constantly struggle with FORGETTING he's messed...
    pearl1961 pearl1961 51-55, F 3 Responses Oct 20, 2015

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    My N had a procedure requiring surgery I chose

    to do a shift Id already committed to prior of my knowledge to when surgery would take place Our son stayed with his father While at work I was telling a colleague of the current situation and N in surgery To which she beckoned " what sort of wife are you "? Being at work...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 4 Responses Nov 5, 2015

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    When you work part time to substitute income

    Have done EVERYTHING for your family Only one that runs house , maintains gardens home Does all the running around clean cool all kids appointments school responsibilities and your NARC uses the phase " I pay the bills " Seriously what planet are they on??? Currently in the...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2015

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    Well i don't know where to start,

    but i know i need some help.. My husband treats me like crap, he looks at me with such disgust sometimes and its 10 times worse if he has been drinking. He makes me feel like i irritate and annoy him just being here.. He never comes in our home in a bright mood its always...
    melonie1 melonie1 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 25, 2014

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    Well it's the truth, you leave a narcissist,

    they will turn on you, but then be lovely and then turn on you again! I am dizzy, I am spinning and I am oh so tired
    iamnoonyouknow iamnoonyouknow 31-35, F 5 Responses Sep 16, 2015

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    Working Through The Loneliness And Anger

    This is my first time posting to the EP. I'd like to start by saying I finally have found enormous relief in reading all these stories: my husband's personality and behavior has a name; I am not indeed crazy; and I am not alone. My story is similar to many: I have been married...
    Gigibee Gigibee 31-35, F 8 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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    I am a smart and capable woman of above-average

    appearance who had gut feelings something was "missing" in my husband and I married him anyway at 46 after being single for 12 years. I have found solace in reading others' experiences here and thought I would share mine. People think we are the golden couple - he sold his...
    Brainsbeforebeauty Brainsbeforebeauty 46-50, F 4 Responses May 10, 2014

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    My boyfriend is a 48 year old married man.

    He's 25 years my senior and was my former boss. I now work in the same industry in the same vicinity so I'm still able to see him. He is still living with his wife and kids, like a normal family. I accepted it hoping that he would make me feel more appreciated to have a girl my...
    catsmp catsmp 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2015

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    I am 10 yrs out of a 4 year relationship with a

    narcissist. I didn't know it had a name back then. All I know is that I started out a balanced sane and educated woman and ended up an emotional wreck. My ex treated me like a lady in public and switched immediately to belittling me, ignoring me completely and hurling verbal...
    poppet55 poppet55 56-60, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2014

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    My Hell

    I met this man 3 years ago, at that time he was having a very bad personal moment (he had to move from the country he was living the last 20 years leaving all his family and "life" there to live compleatly alone). As i have a handle, supporting and caring personality i felt very...
    marirosi marirosi 41-45, F 13 Responses Nov 24, 2011

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    Such A True Quote

    "Living with a narcissist is the loneliest screw you'll ever have. Once the initial false 'Image of a Man' disappears, you're left with a man that you do and do and do for, but who is never there for you in return. This is a man with a counterfeit heart; past his initial charm...
    OctaviaM OctaviaM 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 3, 2012

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    I am new here and do not know

    where to begin. My husband is very critical of everything I do and always seems to be mad at me for reasons I will never know. He doesn't talk. I have a bad cold right now and he is worse, it's like he sees this as a weakness? I feel hopeless.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Feb 5

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    I have been with the same man

    for 20 years, married for 17. He is an alcoholic and I just recently came across the term Narcissist and I cried because I finally understand why I feel like I am going mentally insane... It has been 20 years of verbal and mental abuse and of course the alcoholism, which of...
    parosin parosin 41-45, F 5 Responses Sep 11, 2015

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    Day 20: Today is about accepting

    that true narcissism is damaging, and has little, if anything, to do with love, self- love, or being in love with one’s self ... [knowing] a narcissist can be hellish because, to borrow and interpret freely from Gertrude Stein, “There is no there, there.” While Stein was...
    warmways warmways 46-50, F 3 Responses Jul 20, 2015

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