Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Am Married to a Narcissistic Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 423 People

    Working Through The Loneliness And Anger

    This is my first time posting to the EP. I'd like to start by saying I finally have found enormous relief in reading all these stories: my husband's personality and behavior has a name; I am not indeed crazy; and I am not alone. My story is similar to many: I have been married...
    Gigibee Gigibee 31-35, F 8 Responses Jan 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I WAS married to a Narcissist

    for 35 years. After recovering from ptsd and discovering who I was, a Highly Sensitive Person, I realize now how easy it was hiding behind him rather than BE ME. Not that I ever plan on going back, just saying it isn't easy being so vulnerable in an ego driven world
    VayJayBrigade VayJayBrigade 56-60, F 2 Responses Dec 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/4980983 I thought to post my experience here too. Perhaps here first! But I didn't know how to put it here.
    Katherinespost Katherinespost 46-50, F Oct 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Saturday, June 20 2015 Day 6 30 Days of

    Recovery...by Meredith Resnick Day 6: Today is about lighting up the dark parts inside myself Where grief is fresh, any attempt to divert it only irritates . Samuel Johnson Right now it feels like there is a void inside me, an empty space. Just for today, instead of seeing...
    warmandcoldwaves warmandcoldwaves 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So I got married 6 weeks ago today.

    As soon as we said I do all the love stopped. He is an alcoholic and promised to detox and go to treatment. He did do the detox and I stayed by his side in the hospital for a week getting no sleep and still working. After the detox he was so mean and refused to go to the...
    mischa1975 mischa1975 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 1, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Marriage Mirage ~

    It's a ritual that we repeat over and over. I weaken and begin to reach out to you. I reach for a mirage, a distant reflexion that never actually existed. It was an elaborate facade, that existed only in the make believe world of our happy marriage. But I still miss you.   I...
    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 15, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Narcissitic Men Will Never Get It - They Cannot They Have No Empathy

    I dated my husband for about a year. It was an agonizing, crazy making time. Whenever there was even the slightest conflict needing resolution, or he felt the slightest slight he would run or rage. He would never address the issues. Such as if I shared I was hurt about the cruel...
    cnlegal cnlegal 46-50, F 8 Responses Jul 3, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Am I? This could very well be turned into a

    book, to keep it short or shorter I've known him for 23 years, we've been married 17 years , we have 3 kids and of those 17 years I can tell you three FULL days where I can truly say I was happy the days my children were born. When he does something stupid or just doesnt do...
    huckleberry03 huckleberry03 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Day 4 Day 4: Today is about realizing

    that no matter how much I try, care, hurt, or love, I can’t change the narcissist You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration . James Allen Is it wrong to keep hoping the other person will change? Is it wrong to see the other...
    warmandcoldwaves warmandcoldwaves 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am married to a cerebral narcissist.

    How do I learn more about personality disorders?
    livingbythesea livingbythesea 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Day 17: Today is about asking,

    “What am I trying to avoid?” Recognize that the obsession with the n— whoever it may be— is something you have grown accustomed to, and understand that removing it will be uncomfortable and maybe even a little unnatural. Don’t let that stop you from moving on. I only...
    warmandcoldwaves warmandcoldwaves 46-50, F 3 Responses Jul 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My husband is a passive aggressive narcissist.

    Who knew? I didn't think you could be both of those things at one time. Well he has certainly proved me wrong. For example, one night he came in the room where I was watching television. He commented on how I always watch the same type of shows to his dismay and he didn't...
    blutiger blutiger 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Such A True Quote

    "Living with a narcissist is the loneliest screw you'll ever have. Once the initial false 'Image of a Man' disappears, you're left with a man that you do and do and do for, but who is never there for you in return. This is a man with a counterfeit heart; past his initial charm...
    OctaviaM OctaviaM 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 3, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    In A Relationship With A Narcissistic Man

    My fiance is a narcissist.  I always knew he was a self-centered, selfish, perfectionist but I had know idea the implications until I began reading up on it.   I actually googled "my boyfriend looks in the mirror during sex."   In the beginning of the relationship, he was...
    lonelyIN2012 lonelyIN2012 41-45 10 Responses Feb 5, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Divorcing A Narc..

    I just discovered that there exists Narcissistic Abuse. I knew my husband was verbally and emotionally abusive, but I am so glad to find support groups and forums that accurately explains and confirms what I've gone through for the past 12 years. I read on a NARC blog, that...
    the16thdae the16thdae 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The stories I have read

    so chime with me. I spent years trying to find the secret of how to get affection and empathy from my husband, who I loved deeply. I put a great deal of time and effort into finding out the things he liked and trying not to do things which 'irritated' him. But so often I was...
    Poddyjones Poddyjones 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Day 18: Today is about abstaining from

    reacting— and simply noticing what the narcissist does The narcissist, despite a wealth of charisma almost too good to be true, is riddled with neediness, loneliness, fear, and rage— feelings they have attempted to disown from themselves on both a conscious and an...
    warmandcoldwaves warmandcoldwaves 46-50, F 3 Responses Jul 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This is a really good website on how to deal

    with NPD . After i broke free from N fmily members, i feel the peace i've always deserved.Proud to say that i managed -the hardest way to break free with the least damage possible. “If you don’t understand how they operate, and how they think, you will not see these things...
    Woudziniska Woudziniska 26-30, F Oct 12, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Im Freeing Myself...

    Here are 5 Steps to Ending a Relationship with a Narcissist: 1. Distance yourself emotionally and physically from this person. If they are a co-worker, do not accept their invitations anymore. If it's a boyfriend, take a step back to get your bearings so you can walk away. If...
    joizee143 joizee143 41-45, F 3 Responses Oct 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Definitely on the verge!

    It sometimes takes every ounce of energy to NOT engage in the "battle" of Bullshit! It's not really BS...sometimes one has a valid point! And I'm am standing here fretting and "freaking out" on the b.s., because HONESTLY, I can write page after page of his and yell and throw...
    2bMeAgain 2bMeAgain 41-45 2 Responses May 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Unbreakable Soul

    I'm so glad I found this site. Most all the sites and forums I have found are for people who are divorced from a narcissist.I am a woman who is in her 30's married to a narcissist man for 12 years, together for 14. It wasn't till the past few months that I discovered what a...
    StillUnbreakable StillUnbreakable 31-35 9 Responses Apr 9, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I feel so stressed at the moment

    and need to get some of this off my chest! The feeling of being trapped despite the fact I've made the decision in my head many months ago to leave him for good. This decision hasn't come easily because of the children we have that he feigns interest in. If there wasn't a...
    WishfulOptimistic WishfulOptimistic 36-40, F 7 Responses Jun 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Day 5: Today is about coming to terms with the

    stories I told myself and believed you came and made my house a home you left making our home my asylum Harold H. Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove, and Peter McWilliams How to Survive the Loss of a Love Q: Why can people seem so great in the beginning, but soon everything falls apart...
    warmandcoldwaves warmandcoldwaves 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Of Course It's All About The Food

    Food-day in, day out, a person has to eat something. Day in, day out, offspring must be provided with sustenance.  For a child on the spectrum, food is a big issue. Planning ahead for allergies, for nutrition, for proper timing, for enough food during the day to prevent night...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout 51-55 6 Responses May 25, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Day 20: Today is about accepting

    that true narcissism is damaging, and has little, if anything, to do with love, self- love, or being in love with one’s self ... [knowing] a narcissist can be hellish because, to borrow and interpret freely from Gertrude Stein, “There is no there, there.” While Stein was...
    warmandcoldwaves warmandcoldwaves 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Used Up

    my narcissist was a lunatic. I had to take mood stabilizers, antidepressants and hours on hours of counseling just to survive him. He decided to leave in the "N"s usual elaborate fashion, causing a big drama all the way out the door. But I gotta be honest, it has been the best...
    wonderingkitten wonderingkitten 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 18, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Oops. At first I thought he was spontaneous

    and fun. Now I realize these activities are a search for narcissistic supply- his drug. He needs it, can't live without it, his life is ruled by getting his next fix. When I came to this revelation I was extremely distrurbed; I felt like I was in a hell that I myself created...
    somerbunni703 somerbunni703 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    After my emotional and physical withdrawal from

    years of his torment- cyvle of abuse . Tonight he aims with sarcasm for a reaction??? Repeats the sarcastic remark - like I didn't hear you the 1st time ? I leave room unexplained , no response. Only to have him come to my room.... To yet try to complain about my sons TV being...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We've only been married 4 months.

    ..yet it seems like an eternity. I feel like I'm living in hell. Everyday, I walk on eggshells around him. I blame myself entirely for being in this situation though. We've dated for 6 years with 3 very big breakups. I moved out and started a new life without him 3 times!! And...
    marriedandalone48 marriedandalone48 36-40, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Hell

    I met this man 3 years ago, at that time he was having a very bad personal moment (he had to move from the country he was living the last 20 years leaving all his family and "life" there to live compleatly alone). As i have a handle, supporting and caring personality i felt very...
    marirosi marirosi 41-45, F 14 Responses Nov 24, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am 10 yrs out of a 4 year relationship with a

    narcissist. I didn't know it had a name back then. All I know is that I started out a balanced sane and educated woman and ended up an emotional wreck. My ex treated me like a lady in public and switched immediately to belittling me, ignoring me completely and hurling verbal...
    poppet55 poppet55 56-60, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just discovered this

    and i found so many answers. Married for 10 and the real monster came out at 5 years after the first was born. Now I'm an emotional wreck and I'm stuck with him. He doesn't want to leave. He is like a leach and has drained me emotionally. All I see is an empty soul with no love...
    Lonelywife39 Lonelywife39 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well i don't know where to start,

    but i know i need some help.. My husband treats me like crap, he looks at me with such disgust sometimes and its 10 times worse if he has been drinking. He makes me feel like i irritate and annoy him just being here.. He never comes in our home in a bright mood its always...
    melonie1 melonie1 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 25, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Run, Run, as Fast As You Can, You Can't Catch Me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!

    No, this doesn't describe the narcissistic spouse. The story of the gingerbread man is my story at the hands of narcissism.  A woman bakes a gingerbread man who comes to life:  I am the GM, created and molded by my mother the narcissist, an inanimate object created to serve her...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout 51-55 4 Responses Apr 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm married to a Narcissistic

    and have been for 9years. This has been the most hardest thing to endure everyday! Most days I feel completely lonely and not sure what will happen. He has some good days but as soon as he talks to his narcissistic parents that's when he acts worse! I feel as though I'm stuck...
    stwbr4me stwbr4me 31-35, F 2 Responses May 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    20 Year Marriage to a Narcissist

    I am married to a narcissist or "N", or at least someone with very strong narcissistic characteristics.  Now, I realize my father was (is still) an N, and that's why I married one.  It was familar, it was what I knew.   I recently stumbled on to a book...
    maypop maypop 46-50, F 61 Responses Sep 5, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    HELP !!!!! Mothers of children of narcisstic

    fathers What do you do when your 15 year old is repeating comments that your N uses ??? Whenever N is confronted or asked to be accountable his response is " don't abuse me " My 15 year old is saying this now to me ! It enrages me as I know he's mirroring his father! Asked...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    God im so emotionally drained.

    I've been married to a narcissistic man for nearly five years. I just don't know what to do anymore, sometimes I feel like I almost wish I wouldn't wake up. we are always fighting, im always the one in the wrong, im a ***** for expecting his help in anything. I just don't...
    ewok1985 ewok1985 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am a smart and capable woman of above-average

    appearance who had gut feelings something was "missing" in my husband and I married him anyway at 46 after being single for 12 years. I have found solace in reading others' experiences here and thought I would share mine. People think we are the golden couple - he sold his...
    Brainsbeforebeauty Brainsbeforebeauty 46-50, F 3 Responses May 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Would Love To Have A Support Group! I Need Women To Talk To.

    My husband and I have been together for 3 years now. We have a little girl together and on good days I couldn't be happier. When I got in the relationship I knew he had problems. His mother had taken him to therapist his whole childhood and she did things (in the therapy world...
    HcgSeikou HcgSeikou 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The realisation and relief in knowing there is

    a disorder a name a explanation for ALL those things that your partner has bestowed on you . The enlightenment is like a weight lifted Even if there no narcissitc injury of such at the minute .... You can finally see in almost every communication.... The narcissm Watching a...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Can Narcissistics Change Thier Behavior?

    Some people with milder versions of narcissistic behavior may change when they stand to lose something or someone they love. Some have to undergo a humbling experience or a great emotional loss before they start to admit their defensiveness and inability to take responsibility...
    westsideblues1 westsideblues1 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Husband Should Have Married Himself

    I have been married to a narcissistic abuser for 14 years. Everything is about his needs and opinions, nobody else's.  Yet he has extreme doubts in every decision he needs to make, whether choosing a paint color or what to do about his cholesterol. He puts...
    staystrong92 staystrong92 41-45, F 17 Responses Sep 11, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "A Narcissist’s Love Letter" By: John

    Howell When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my...
    invisible321 invisible321 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    People have been telling me this

    for years. Until last night I don't think it really hit me. I won't say what happened to make me realize. I've likely posted something similar he has done. But, last night it was as if I was with a stranger. He no longer knows me nor does he care to. And so I've got to stop...
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight 31-35, F 6 Responses Apr 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This is a great article on shedding some light

    on this personality disorder. http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/are-you-with-a-narcissist/
    WishfulOptimistic WishfulOptimistic 36-40, F 2 Responses May 30