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I Am Married to a Narcissistic Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 423 People

    My husband is a passive aggressive narcissist.

    Who knew? I didn't think you could be both of those things at one time. Well he has certainly proved me wrong. For example, one night he came in the room where I was watching television. He commented on how I always watch the same type of shows to his dismay and he didn't...
    blutiger blutiger 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    We've only been married 4 months.

    ..yet it seems like an eternity. I feel like I'm living in hell. Everyday, I walk on eggshells around him. I blame myself entirely for being in this situation though. We've dated for 6 years with 3 very big breakups. I moved out and started a new life without him 3 times!! And...
    marriedandalone48 marriedandalone48 36-40, F 4 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    Mild Narcissism? Is there

    such a thing as mild narcissism? I know for sure my husband of 2 years is an N (together for 6 total), but he is more good than bad. His temper has gotten more out of control lately though. I always knew he had a bad temper but now that I know what all the other N symptoms are...
    TurquoiseWater TurquoiseWater 31-35, F 3 Responses May 12, 2014

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    I'm married to a Narcissistic

    and have been for 9years. This has been the most hardest thing to endure everyday! Most days I feel completely lonely and not sure what will happen. He has some good days but as soon as he talks to his narcissistic parents that's when he acts worse! I feel as though I'm stuck...
    stwbr4me stwbr4me 31-35, F 2 Responses May 11

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    Definitely on the verge!

    It sometimes takes every ounce of energy to NOT engage in the "battle" of Bullshit! It's not really BS...sometimes one has a valid point! And I'm am standing here fretting and "freaking out" on the b.s., because HONESTLY, I can write page after page of his and yell and throw...
    2bMeAgain 2bMeAgain 41-45 2 Responses May 30

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    Run, Run, as Fast As You Can, You Can't Catch Me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!

    No, this doesn't describe the narcissistic spouse. The story of the gingerbread man is my story at the hands of narcissism.  A woman bakes a gingerbread man who comes to life:  I am the GM, created and molded by my mother the narcissist, an inanimate object created to serve her...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout 51-55 4 Responses Apr 28, 2013

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    Such A True Quote

    "Living with a narcissist is the loneliest screw you'll ever have. Once the initial false 'Image of a Man' disappears, you're left with a man that you do and do and do for, but who is never there for you in return. This is a man with a counterfeit heart; past his initial charm...
    OctaviaM OctaviaM 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 3, 2012

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    "A Narcissist’s Love Letter" By: John

    Howell When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my...
    invisible321 invisible321 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 14, 2014

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    Am I? This could very well be turned into a

    book, to keep it short or shorter I've known him for 23 years, we've been married 17 years , we have 3 kids and of those 17 years I can tell you three FULL days where I can truly say I was happy the days my children were born. When he does something stupid or just doesnt do...
    huckleberry03 huckleberry03 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 27, 2014

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    Day 4 Day 4: Today is about realizing

    that no matter how much I try, care, hurt, or love, I can’t change the narcissist You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration . James Allen Is it wrong to keep hoping the other person will change? Is it wrong to see the other...
    Warmways Warmways 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 16

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    Well i don't know where to start,

    but i know i need some help.. My husband treats me like crap, he looks at me with such disgust sometimes and its 10 times worse if he has been drinking. He makes me feel like i irritate and annoy him just being here.. He never comes in our home in a bright mood its always...
    melonie1 melonie1 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 25, 2014

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    Oops. At first I thought he was spontaneous

    and fun. Now I realize these activities are a search for narcissistic supply- his drug. He needs it, can't live without it, his life is ruled by getting his next fix. When I came to this revelation I was extremely distrurbed; I felt like I was in a hell that I myself created...
    somerbunni703 somerbunni703 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 30, 2014

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    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Live-In-A-Sexless-Marriage/4980983 I thought to post my experience here too. Perhaps here first! But I didn't know how to put it here.
    Katherinespost Katherinespost 46-50, F Oct 14, 2014

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    My Hell

    I met this man 3 years ago, at that time he was having a very bad personal moment (he had to move from the country he was living the last 20 years leaving all his family and "life" there to live compleatly alone). As i have a handle, supporting and caring personality i felt very...
    marirosi marirosi 41-45, F 13 Responses Nov 24, 2011

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    Its nearly 4am, it's raining

    and I'm wide awake. In bed, alone! My husband is snoring his head off in the spare room and I'm afraid he's really going to leave me this time. I've been married for 2 years, with him for 6 and slowly but surely I've realised he is a narcissistic man. Today alone I dealt with...
    pickledpear pickledpear 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 19, 2014

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    I am 10 yrs out of a 4 year relationship with a

    narcissist. I didn't know it had a name back then. All I know is that I started out a balanced sane and educated woman and ended up an emotional wreck. My ex treated me like a lady in public and switched immediately to belittling me, ignoring me completely and hurling verbal...
    poppet55 poppet55 56-60, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2014

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    The realisation and relief in knowing there is

    a disorder a name a explanation for ALL those things that your partner has bestowed on you . The enlightenment is like a weight lifted Even if there no narcissitc injury of such at the minute .... You can finally see in almost every communication.... The narcissm Watching a...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 15, 2014

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    This is a really good website on how to deal

    with NPD . After i broke free from N fmily members, i feel the peace i've always deserved.Proud to say that i managed -the hardest way to break free with the least damage possible. “If you don’t understand how they operate, and how they think, you will not see these things...
    Woudziniska Woudziniska 26-30, F Oct 12, 2014

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    Working Through The Loneliness And Anger

    This is my first time posting to the EP. I'd like to start by saying I finally have found enormous relief in reading all these stories: my husband's personality and behavior has a name; I am not indeed crazy; and I am not alone. My story is similar to many: I have been married...
    Gigibee Gigibee 31-35, F 8 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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    I'm lmao at myself (basically on the verge of

    tears) wondering WHY is everything going wrong?!?!! Ice machine broke, so I bought a bag. Anyway...it's one BIG clump of ice. I take it out and bang the **** out it (pups r giving me the sad eyes 😞) and I'm just thinking...nothing f'ing WORKS around here! I start to lose it...
    2bMeAgain 2bMeAgain 41-45 3 Responses Jun 15

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    I have been married 27 years.

    He is a hoarder and I believe is a narcissist. His motto in life is "I say what I have to to get what I want." He has no friends and I and my kids can't have people over because of all "his" stuff is piled all over. Recently he has fixated on the lawn guy. Since he has not...
    adamsmom0 adamsmom0 46-50, F 3 Responses May 25, 2014

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    The stories I have read

    so chime with me. I spent years trying to find the secret of how to get affection and empathy from my husband, who I loved deeply. I put a great deal of time and effort into finding out the things he liked and trying not to do things which 'irritated' him. But so often I was...
    Poddyjones Poddyjones 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 6

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    Saturday, June 20 2015 Day 6 30 Days of

    Recovery...by Meredith Resnick Day 6: Today is about lighting up the dark parts inside myself Where grief is fresh, any attempt to divert it only irritates . Samuel Johnson Right now it feels like there is a void inside me, an empty space. Just for today, instead of seeing...
    Warmways Warmways 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 20

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    I WAS married to a Narcissist

    for 35 years. After recovering from ptsd and discovering who I was, a Highly Sensitive Person, I realize now how easy it was hiding behind him rather than BE ME. Not that I ever plan on going back, just saying it isn't easy being so vulnerable in an ego driven world
    VayJayBrigade VayJayBrigade 56-60, F 2 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    My Husband Should Have Married Himself

    I have been married to a narcissistic abuser for 14 years. Everything is about his needs and opinions, nobody else's.  Yet he has extreme doubts in every decision he needs to make, whether choosing a paint color or what to do about his cholesterol. He puts...
    staystrong92 staystrong92 41-45, F 17 Responses Sep 11, 2008

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    Unbreakable Soul

    I'm so glad I found this site. Most all the sites and forums I have found are for people who are divorced from a narcissist.I am a woman who is in her 30's married to a narcissist man for 12 years, together for 14. It wasn't till the past few months that I discovered what a...
    StillUnbreakable StillUnbreakable 31-35 9 Responses Apr 9, 2012

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    God im so emotionally drained.

    I've been married to a narcissistic man for nearly five years. I just don't know what to do anymore, sometimes I feel like I almost wish I wouldn't wake up. we are always fighting, im always the one in the wrong, im a ***** for expecting his help in anything. I just don't...
    ewok1985 ewok1985 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 13

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    20 Year Marriage to a Narcissist

    I am married to a narcissist or "N", or at least someone with very strong narcissistic characteristics.  Now, I realize my father was (is still) an N, and that's why I married one.  It was familar, it was what I knew.   I recently stumbled on to a book...
    maypop maypop 46-50, F 61 Responses Sep 5, 2009

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    Narcissitic Men Will Never Get It - They Cannot They Have No Empathy

    I dated my husband for about a year. It was an agonizing, crazy making time. Whenever there was even the slightest conflict needing resolution, or he felt the slightest slight he would run or rage. He would never address the issues. Such as if I shared I was hurt about the cruel...
    cnlegal cnlegal 46-50, F 8 Responses Jul 3, 2009

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    HELP !!!!! Mothers of children of narcisstic

    fathers What do you do when your 15 year old is repeating comments that your N uses ??? Whenever N is confronted or asked to be accountable his response is " don't abuse me " My 15 year old is saying this now to me ! It enrages me as I know he's mirroring his father! Asked...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 22, 2014

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    In A Relationship With A Narcissistic Man

    My fiance is a narcissist.  I always knew he was a self-centered, selfish, perfectionist but I had know idea the implications until I began reading up on it.   I actually googled "my boyfriend looks in the mirror during sex."   In the beginning of the relationship, he was...
    lonelyIN2012 lonelyIN2012 41-45 10 Responses Feb 5, 2012

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    People have been telling me this

    for years. Until last night I don't think it really hit me. I won't say what happened to make me realize. I've likely posted something similar he has done. But, last night it was as if I was with a stranger. He no longer knows me nor does he care to. And so I've got to stop...
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight 31-35, F 7 Responses Apr 27

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    I feel so stressed at the moment

    and need to get some of this off my chest! The feeling of being trapped despite the fact I've made the decision in my head many months ago to leave him for good. This decision hasn't come easily because of the children we have that he feigns interest in. If there wasn't a...
    WishfulOptimistic WishfulOptimistic 36-40, F 7 Responses Jun 1

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    After my emotional and physical withdrawal from

    years of his torment- cyvle of abuse . Tonight he aims with sarcasm for a reaction??? Repeats the sarcastic remark - like I didn't hear you the 1st time ? I leave room unexplained , no response. Only to have him come to my room.... To yet try to complain about my sons TV being...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 20, 2014

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    I am married to a cerebral narcissist.

    How do I learn more about personality disorders?
    livingbythesea livingbythesea 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 20

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    I never thought I would be here.

    When I fell in love with my husband 14 years ago I was the happiest woman. I had a man that would do anything for me. Surprised me with flowers and cards. He was always thinking of me. When we had our children I thought wow..I have everything and I could not be happier. Then...
    classynsassy34 classynsassy34 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 9, 2014

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    The Marriage Mirage ~

    It's a ritual that we repeat over and over. I weaken and begin to reach out to you. I reach for a mirage, a distant reflexion that never actually existed. It was an elaborate facade, that existed only in the make believe world of our happy marriage. But I still miss you.   I...
    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 15, 2011

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    Would Love To Have A Support Group! I Need Women To Talk To.

    My husband and I have been together for 3 years now. We have a little girl together and on good days I couldn't be happier. When I got in the relationship I knew he had problems. His mother had taken him to therapist his whole childhood and she did things (in the therapy world...
    HcgSeikou HcgSeikou 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2012

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    Just discovered this

    and i found so many answers. Married for 10 and the real monster came out at 5 years after the first was born. Now I'm an emotional wreck and I'm stuck with him. He doesn't want to leave. He is like a leach and has drained me emotionally. All I see is an empty soul with no love...
    Lonelywife39 Lonelywife39 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    I don't know what to do about my marriage to my

    narcissistic husband. I've been with him for about 25 years, but the last few years have been the hardest. My husband is in his 60's and I am in my 40's. We have what I call a parent child relationship. He corrects me and scolds me as though I were five years old. Sometimes...
    bint43 bint43 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 18, 2014

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    Of Course It's All About The Food

    Food-day in, day out, a person has to eat something. Day in, day out, offspring must be provided with sustenance.  For a child on the spectrum, food is a big issue. Planning ahead for allergies, for nutrition, for proper timing, for enough food during the day to prevent night...
    theremustbeawayout theremustbeawayout 51-55 6 Responses May 25, 2013

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    So I got married 6 weeks ago today.

    As soon as we said I do all the love stopped. He is an alcoholic and promised to detox and go to treatment. He did do the detox and I stayed by his side in the hospital for a week getting no sleep and still working. After the detox he was so mean and refused to go to the...
    mischa1975 mischa1975 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    Used Up

    my narcissist was a lunatic. I had to take mood stabilizers, antidepressants and hours on hours of counseling just to survive him. He decided to leave in the "N"s usual elaborate fashion, causing a big drama all the way out the door. But I gotta be honest, it has been the best...
    wonderingkitten wonderingkitten 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 18, 2011

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    Day 5: Today is about coming to terms with the

    stories I told myself and believed you came and made my house a home you left making our home my asylum Harold H. Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove, and Peter McWilliams How to Survive the Loss of a Love Q: Why can people seem so great in the beginning, but soon everything falls apart...
    Warmways Warmways 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 19

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    This is a great article on shedding some light

    on this personality disorder. http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/are-you-with-a-narcissist/
    WishfulOptimistic WishfulOptimistic 36-40, F 2 Responses May 30

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    I am a smart and capable woman of above-average

    appearance who had gut feelings something was "missing" in my husband and I married him anyway at 46 after being single for 12 years. I have found solace in reading others' experiences here and thought I would share mine. People think we are the golden couple - he sold his...
    Brainsbeforebeauty Brainsbeforebeauty 46-50, F 3 Responses May 10, 2014

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