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I Am Married to An Asexual Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 125 People

    Suffering In Silence...

    I have been suffering in silence - re. sex deprivation for seventeen years of marriage to my wife. And until I stumbled on the term, asexual, just now, my efforts to understand her lack of interest in sex have found very fitting places in her Christian convictions, busy attitude...
    Otims Otims 51-55, M Aug 21, 2012

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    My Husband Is Asexual. Now What?

    I've been married 7.5 years to a great guy. We have a 4-year-old daughter, two dogs, and a nice suburban life. Our relationship seemed pretty normal, but as I've gotten older, my sex drive has ramped up, and it was becoming apparent to me that our sex frequency wasn't what I'd...
    PghHilary PghHilary 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 23, 2012

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    Scared To Face The Truth...I'Ve Married An Asexual Man.

    I've finally faced facts and am petrified of the next steps I feel I may need to take. I have been with my now husband for 5 years, married for 11 months. Like many sexuals in a relationship with an asexual I thought our sparse sex life was due to inexperience on his part and...
    Lbetty Lbetty 31-35 2 Responses Apr 18, 2013

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    Do I Stay?

    I have been in a relationship with an asexual man for four years. I moved in with him one year ago. He is in his early 50's and I am an attractive 47 year old. He is my very best friend, but the emptiness of not having a physical relationship is taking its toll on me. It is not...
    Brighten1 Brighten1 46-50, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    Not Natural And Not Fair

    I'm 33 years old, and I just had my 6-year wedding anniversary. I am married to a good man who I know loves me... in his own way. The MAJOR problem is that my husband has absolutely no sex drive, no sexual thoughts, no need for sex whatsoever. We haven't had sex in...
    Lonelydancer Lonelydancer 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 4, 2010

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    If I Had Only Known

    I knew my future husband for 8 months before we got married. Three of those months were actually dating months. Thats when we went from just friends to dating.  During those months of dating he never made a pass at me, kissing was there but it seemed only if I...
    sthrnbren sthrnbren 46-50, F 5 Responses Oct 14, 2009

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    The Best Roomate I Will Ever Have...

    I am ashamed and angry that as an intelligent woman, I never figured it out until now. I am a sexual person. In my teens and early twenties, I might have been called plain slutty. That being said, I think sex can be satisfying, interesting, comforting and even funny...and to be...
    ldyorion77 ldyorion77 36-40, F Sep 8, 2013

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    I put a few things together

    and decided to research on the internet and the first item that came up I thought I was reading about myself. The title above and then the story started like this: "My sexless marriage" and I could swear I was reading about myself, my life. 24 years married. Two kids in...
    Metoobaby Metoobaby 51-55, F 2 Responses Apr 18

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    Now A Name For It At Last

    I've been with my husband for 23 years. I thought I was alone. I thought I had rose coloured specs on. Even before we moved in together we had problems. I didn't see it at the time. He would go for hours without finishing. Some time afterwards he told me he didn't think he could...
    kitty7899 kitty7899 51-55 Aug 16, 2012

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    Discovering The Truth

    We know each other for 9.5 years and married for 6.5 until now everything was "ok" I was living with hope of have a little bit more of sex. By the way in last 3 years we had about 5 sex experiences. Unable to get pregnant, unless a miracle would occur, unable to understand what...
    Beanlake Beanlake 41-45, F Nov 3, 2012

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    I Love Him Dearly But.....

    During the months before I left my high paying job to move to the middle of nowhere and marry my asexual husband, a male co-worker confided to me, in his cups, “Every man in this office fantasizes about having sex with you.” I exercised 45 minutes a day to maintain an...
    Jan 31, 2013

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    Is My Husband Asexual And What Should I Do

    Hello All I have read your stories....here is mine. I have been married for 17 months and I now want to leave my husband. When I met him, he was 27 had never had sex and it really didn't bother him not to have had sex during that time ( he has no religious reasons or morale...
    Annabella15 Annabella15 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 13, 2012

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    Soul Mates Not Bed Mates

    I met my husband about a year and a half ago. We had been in therapy for a good part of our marriage. Let me back up first we met and married within 4 months. Sex was incredible for about 2 months. Then suddenly I mean the brakes came on fast. I didn't understand and took him to...
    Blessed316 Blessed316 31-35, F May 17, 2013

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    My Sexless Marriage - It Took 20 Years For Me To Find Out What Is Wrong

    I've been in a sexless marriage for 20 years and have sought help for my loneliness for the last 10 years. No one ever mentioned asexuality to me, I talked to therapists, counselors, clergy. They all suggested that either something was wrong with our relationship or my husband...
    allbttr allbttr 46-50, F 12 Responses Oct 22, 2011

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    It's Hard

    I've been with my partner for six years now. When we first met I had no idea that he was asexual, or that people identified as being asexual. There were signs looking back. He never initiated sex, he didn't like public displays of affection, and though he was with his last...
    Yuru Yuru 26-30, M 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    I want to hear from you.

    As many gals on this site, it took me a while to realize that our sex life is not considered normal. We get busy with life, jobs, kids etc and one day, I just got plain tired and ran out gas. We started dating, and as he would put it later in counseling sessions, "our...
    lonely821 lonely821 46-50, F May 7

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    My Husband Is Asexual

    We have been married six years and rarely have sex anymore. From early on, I felt something was not quite right and chalked it up to his laid back style and just did most of the initiating. He cooperated but did not reciprocate or offer to try anything new. I guess what I am...
    bckmoon bckmoon 56-60, F Nov 5, 2012

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    Married 27 Years...di

    ..... and my sex life sucks!! Why in the hell would my husband NOT know that he as asexual!!! I saw some signs early, but I just dismiss it thinking it would go away. After to all, he is the nicest guy you will ever meet!! Instead of sex, he brings me chocolate (which i love) and...
    wmhls wmhls 51-55 15 Responses Jan 30, 2011

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    6 Years Of Marriage With An Asexual Man And Death Of First Child

    I am 31 yr old married attractive woman. It was started 6 yrs ago,  with hardly 4 months of courtship period we got married in April 2007.  In courtship period we dnt met much as he is in another city for work , but i do get the red flags such as he told me he dont want to go...
    rajnibharara rajnibharara 31-35, F Jul 31, 2013

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    Re: Selfish Asexual Men

    30 years ago I married this man after living with him and he was fine UNTIL I married him. Oh lots of great excuses and good ones at tha t AFTER I married him. Let ME tell you the TRUTH. Okay. You really need to deal with this and at least know it is NOT you. (1) There is a...
    Neptune500 Neptune500 61-65 Nov 11, 2012

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    Have Been An Asexual Husband To A Caring Wife For Far, Far Too Long

    I imposed my asexuality on my fine and caring wife for far too long, as our careers and lives took us together over three continents. Unsurprisingly, I have hurt her very much and cannot continue to hurt her a moment longer. She is the love of my life and I do desire her but...
    Sixdollargum Sixdollargum 46-50, M 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    I Had No Idea There Even Was Such A Thing...

    I've been married to my husband for 8 years now, with him for 10 years. During the first 2 years of our dating life together, we had what I thought was a good sex life. I noticed that I was the one who always initiated it, but since he responded, I didn't really think much...
    mustangergirl mustangergirl 46-50, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2012

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    The Effects Of Being With A Closet Asexual...

    Hi there, I was with my ex for three years and lived with him since day one. He is an amazing guy, really amazing. But he's asexual - I think - he's not admitted it. We were having sex to start with but not often. That soon disappeared. He is very lovely and caring but not...
    UCMS UCMS 22-25, F 8 Responses May 4, 2010

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    Feeling Like Life Is Over . . .

    Five years ago I met the most wonderful man I could have imagined. A man who had a stable, respectable career, a great home, and tons of friends who welcomed me right away. He always showed me how much he appreciated me and was, and still is, extremely affectionate. However; sex...
    nikichic84 nikichic84 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 29, 2012

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    There Is Now A Support Organization For Sexuals In Relationships With Asexuals!

    There is finally a support organization for sexuals in relationships with asexuals! Go to: www.spasupport.org
    Integrity10 Integrity10 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 13, 2010

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    My Husband Doesn't Touch Me, I Want To Die.

    Hi.......in the 12 years of marriage...we had sex may be...hmm..50 times. Wow, when i say it that way, it sounds like A LOT. But, it really isn't. My husband is like that - he has a sex drive...but it is so low. He has had so many excuses over the years, "i am tired", "I am...
    navea navea 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 2, 2012

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    I Am Married To An Asexual Man

    I am a 35 year old married woman. I got married 2 and a half years back. My husband is completely asexual,...he does not want to touch me sexually or have sex. I know that he loves me a lot. He is extremely sweet otherwise and buys me gifts all the time. But I feel cheated,...I...
    priyanka35 priyanka35 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 28, 2012

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    Have Been An Asexual Husband To A Caring Wife For Far, Far Too Long

    I imposed my asexuality on my fine and caring wife for far too long, as our careers and lives took us together over three continents. Unsurprisingly, I have hurt her very much and cannot continue to hurt her a moment longer. She is the love of my life and I do desire her but...
    Sixdollargum Sixdollargum 46-50, M 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    As a young woman I was quite shy

    and lacked confidence and self esteem having experienced mental and physical abuse from a childminder in my early years, I partly escaped to school, but there I was too scared of people to join in, spent most of my time on my own in a sea of people, not really knowing how to...
    MaggieRoberts123 MaggieRoberts123 51-55 Sep 20

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    I'M Young &Amp; Dating A Potentially Asexual Man. I'M At A Major Crossroads With This &Amp; Would Love To Hear What Decisions Other Women Would Have Made If They'D Found Out Before Tying The Knot.

    I feel kind of stupid and irrelevant posting because all the other stories are written by women who are already married and have been married for many years. And many of you even have kids. But I just don't know where else to turn. I'm also in a very easy position to just leave...
    Rin88 Rin88 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 19, 2013

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    I'm looking for some honest help here and to hopefully meet others in similar situations. My story goes like this: I'm a 29 yr old bisexual woman who is engaged (practically...
    wishfulthinking0 wishfulthinking0 26-30, F 7 Responses Oct 15

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    DSM (Diagnostic & Statistic Manual of Mental Disorder) diagnosis of HDD (hyper sexual desire disorder) as a mental affection, devaluates asexuality as a sexual orientation. Which...
    JesseVicious JesseVicious 22-25, T 1 Response Oct 17

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    I am asexual panromantic. I came out to my parents recently. They are generally open minded and accepting of the LGBT+ community, although they are still confused with the whole...
    Crimsoul Crimsoul 16-17, T Oct 19

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    I have come to realise that I am asexual. I've had one year-and-a-half long relationship with a girl (I'm male and romantically attracted, so far, only to females), and though I...
    SRurner SRurner 16-17, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    This is something I have been struggling with but have been trying to ignore. In the last year I have been struggling with my sexuality but have not understood why. I was losing my...
    AcidicProgram AcidicProgram 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I am asexual but loving relationship looking for asexual girl in same situation to speak about relationship. If you would to know more message me.
    HHopeful HHopeful 26-30, M Oct 2

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    It took me a while to find out haha... I was hinting about it last year, but I didn't exactly know what asexuality was back then. I don't think anyone except one of my friends know...
    Scax Scax 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 2

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    I'm asexual, and to be exact I am a homoromantic asexual.
    SuckMyAwesome SuckMyAwesome 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 5

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    I am asexual and aromantic. I used to think I was just a straight girl who hadn't found her right guy yet, but then I realized I had no interest in guys at all, so I thought I...
    ADawnS ADawnS 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 16

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    I am asexual, meaning I am not generally sexually attracted to people or any gender. Not only that,I find sex to be disgusting. I have no understanding as to how people are so...
    AkiliRose AkiliRose 18-21, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    I feel like I've finally know who I am. My last relationship made me miserable because he was very sexual and I had never been with someone who was like that and I hated it. I didn...
    Xeniabolton Xeniabolton 18-21, F a week ago

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    I am a 20 year old asexual female looking for a loving relationship. If anyone wants to meet me, send me a message :)
    theatre4life17 theatre4life17 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 2

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    I used to be asexual then I had sex and damn I love it now
    mundinger1992 mundinger1992 18-21, M 3 Responses Oct 5

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    As a female who is asexual and romantically interested in girls only, nothing makes me laugh harder than when dudes make sexual advances toward me. Like, buddy, if you only knew...
    d0vahkiin d0vahkiin 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 6

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    Hello there, I am looking for asexual friend and partner as well message me.
    HHopeful HHopeful 26-30, M Oct 10

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    heeey im Piper and it took me a while but finally i realized that anything sex related just completely repulses me. however while being asexual im bi romantic, which i fear...
    PiperMarimet PiperMarimet 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 11

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    Looking for asexual girl for MOC
    hotwog hotwog 31-35, M Oct 11

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    National Coming Out Day was iffy. Instead of boldly declaring that I was Asexual, I told my cousins I was 'Ace' and explained that it simply meant I wasn't interested in sex. One...
    OneOfAKind96 OneOfAKind96 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 12

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    I am asexual and I feel like no one understands in my small community. Everyone I talk to says I just have to find the right person but I still will be uninterested in sex.
    eysta008 eysta008 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 14

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