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I Am Married to An Asexual Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 122 People

    Have Been An Asexual Husband To A Caring Wife For Far, Far Too Long

    I imposed my asexuality on my fine and caring wife for far too long, as our careers and lives took us together over three continents. Unsurprisingly, I have hurt her very much and cannot continue to hurt her a moment longer. She is the love of my life and I do desire her but...
    Sixdollargum Sixdollargum 46-50, M 2 Responses May 6, 2012

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    Discovering The Truth

    We know each other for 9.5 years and married for 6.5 until now everything was "ok" I was living with hope of have a little bit more of sex. By the way in last 3 years we had about 5 sex experiences. Unable to get pregnant, unless a miracle would occur, unable to understand what...
    Beanlake Beanlake 41-45, F Nov 3, 2012

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    Re: Selfish Asexual Men

    30 years ago I married this man after living with him and he was fine UNTIL I married him. Oh lots of great excuses and good ones at tha t AFTER I married him. Let ME tell you the TRUTH. Okay. You really need to deal with this and at least know it is NOT you. (1) There is a...
    Neptune500 Neptune500 61-65 Nov 11, 2012

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    6 Years Of Marriage With An Asexual Man And Death Of First Child

    I am 31 yr old married attractive woman. It was started 6 yrs ago,  with hardly 4 months of courtship period we got married in April 2007.  In courtship period we dnt met much as he is in another city for work , but i do get the red flags such as he told me he dont want to go...
    rajnibharara rajnibharara 31-35, F Jul 31, 2013

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    Scared To Face The Truth...I'Ve Married An Asexual Man.

    I've finally faced facts and am petrified of the next steps I feel I may need to take. I have been with my now husband for 5 years, married for 11 months. Like many sexuals in a relationship with an asexual I thought our sparse sex life was due to inexperience on his part and...
    Lbetty Lbetty 31-35 2 Responses Apr 18, 2013

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    If I Had Only Known

    I knew my future husband for 8 months before we got married. Three of those months were actually dating months. Thats when we went from just friends to dating.  During those months of dating he never made a pass at me, kissing was there but it seemed only if I...
    sthrnbren sthrnbren 46-50, F 5 Responses Oct 14, 2009

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    I want to hear from you.

    As many gals on this site, it took me a while to realize that our sex life is not considered normal. We get busy with life, jobs, kids etc and one day, I just got plain tired and ran out gas. We started dating, and as he would put it later in counseling sessions, "our...
    lonely821 lonely821 46-50, F May 7

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    I'M Young &Amp; Dating A Potentially Asexual Man. I'M At A Major Crossroads With This &Amp; Would Love To Hear What Decisions Other Women Would Have Made If They'D Found Out Before Tying The Knot.

    I feel kind of stupid and irrelevant posting because all the other stories are written by women who are already married and have been married for many years. And many of you even have kids. But I just don't know where else to turn. I'm also in a very easy position to just leave...
    Rin88 Rin88 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 19, 2013

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    Soul Mates Not Bed Mates

    I met my husband about a year and a half ago. We had been in therapy for a good part of our marriage. Let me back up first we met and married within 4 months. Sex was incredible for about 2 months. Then suddenly I mean the brakes came on fast. I didn't understand and took him to...
    Blessed316 Blessed316 31-35, F May 17, 2013

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    It's Hard

    I've been with my partner for six years now. When we first met I had no idea that he was asexual, or that people identified as being asexual. There were signs looking back. He never initiated sex, he didn't like public displays of affection, and though he was with his last...
    Yuru Yuru 26-30, M 6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

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    I Love Him Dearly But.....

    During the months before I left my high paying job to move to the middle of nowhere and marry my asexual husband, a male co-worker confided to me, in his cups, “Every man in this office fantasizes about having sex with you.” I exercised 45 minutes a day to maintain an...
    Jan 31, 2013

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    My Sexless Marriage - It Took 20 Years For Me To Find Out What Is Wrong

    I've been in a sexless marriage for 20 years and have sought help for my loneliness for the last 10 years. No one ever mentioned asexuality to me, I talked to therapists, counselors, clergy. They all suggested that either something was wrong with our relationship or my husband...
    allbttr allbttr 46-50, F 12 Responses Oct 22, 2011

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    Now A Name For It At Last

    I've been with my husband for 23 years. I thought I was alone. I thought I had rose coloured specs on. Even before we moved in together we had problems. I didn't see it at the time. He would go for hours without finishing. Some time afterwards he told me he didn't think he could...
    kitty7899 kitty7899 51-55 Aug 16, 2012

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    The Effects Of Being With A Closet Asexual...

    Hi there, I was with my ex for three years and lived with him since day one. He is an amazing guy, really amazing. But he's asexual - I think - he's not admitted it. We were having sex to start with but not often. That soon disappeared. He is very lovely and caring but not...
    UCMS UCMS 22-25, F 8 Responses May 4, 2010

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    Married 27 Years...di

    ..... and my sex life sucks!! Why in the hell would my husband NOT know that he as asexual!!! I saw some signs early, but I just dismiss it thinking it would go away. After to all, he is the nicest guy you will ever meet!! Instead of sex, he brings me chocolate (which i love) and...
    wmhls wmhls 51-55 15 Responses Jan 30, 2011

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    Is My Husband Asexual And What Should I Do

    Hello All I have read your stories....here is mine. I have been married for 17 months and I now want to leave my husband. When I met him, he was 27 had never had sex and it really didn't bother him not to have had sex during that time ( he has no religious reasons or morale...
    Annabella15 Annabella15 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 13, 2012

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    My Husband Is Asexual. Now What?

    I've been married 7.5 years to a great guy. We have a 4-year-old daughter, two dogs, and a nice suburban life. Our relationship seemed pretty normal, but as I've gotten older, my sex drive has ramped up, and it was becoming apparent to me that our sex frequency wasn't what I'd...
    PghHilary PghHilary 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 23, 2012

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    My Husband Doesn't Touch Me, I Want To Die.

    Hi.......in the 12 years of marriage...we had sex may be...hmm..50 times. Wow, when i say it that way, it sounds like A LOT. But, it really isn't. My husband is like that - he has a sex drive...but it is so low. He has had so many excuses over the years, "i am tired", "I am...
    navea navea 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 2, 2012

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    There Is Now A Support Organization For Sexuals In Relationships With Asexuals!

    There is finally a support organization for sexuals in relationships with asexuals! Go to: www.spasupport.org
    Integrity10 Integrity10 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 13, 2010

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    Suffering In Silence...

    I have been suffering in silence - re. sex deprivation for seventeen years of marriage to my wife. And until I stumbled on the term, asexual, just now, my efforts to understand her lack of interest in sex have found very fitting places in her Christian convictions, busy attitude...
    Otims Otims 51-55, M Aug 21, 2012

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    I Had No Idea There Even Was Such A Thing...

    I've been married to my husband for 8 years now, with him for 10 years. During the first 2 years of our dating life together, we had what I thought was a good sex life. I noticed that I was the one who always initiated it, but since he responded, I didn't really think much...
    mustangergirl mustangergirl 46-50, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2012

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    Have Been An Asexual Husband To A Caring Wife For Far, Far Too Long

    I imposed my asexuality on my fine and caring wife for far too long, as our careers and lives took us together over three continents. Unsurprisingly, I have hurt her very much and cannot continue to hurt her a moment longer. She is the love of my life and I do desire her but...
    Sixdollargum Sixdollargum 46-50, M 1 Response May 6, 2012

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    The Best Roomate I Will Ever Have...

    I am ashamed and angry that as an intelligent woman, I never figured it out until now. I am a sexual person. In my teens and early twenties, I might have been called plain slutty. That being said, I think sex can be satisfying, interesting, comforting and even funny...and to be...
    ldyorion77 ldyorion77 36-40, F Sep 8, 2013

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    Do I Stay?

    I have been in a relationship with an asexual man for four years. I moved in with him one year ago. He is in his early 50's and I am an attractive 47 year old. He is my very best friend, but the emptiness of not having a physical relationship is taking its toll on me. It is not...
    Brighten1 Brighten1 46-50, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    Feeling Like Life Is Over . . .

    Five years ago I met the most wonderful man I could have imagined. A man who had a stable, respectable career, a great home, and tons of friends who welcomed me right away. He always showed me how much he appreciated me and was, and still is, extremely affectionate. However; sex...
    nikichic84 nikichic84 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 29, 2012

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    Not Natural And Not Fair

    I'm 33 years old, and I just had my 6-year wedding anniversary. I am married to a good man who I know loves me... in his own way. The MAJOR problem is that my husband has absolutely no sex drive, no sexual thoughts, no need for sex whatsoever. We haven't had sex in...
    Lonelydancer Lonelydancer 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 4, 2010

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    I Am Married To An Asexual Man

    I am a 35 year old married woman. I got married 2 and a half years back. My husband is completely asexual,...he does not want to touch me sexually or have sex. I know that he loves me a lot. He is extremely sweet otherwise and buys me gifts all the time. But I feel cheated,...I...
    priyanka35 priyanka35 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 28, 2012

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    I put a few things together

    and decided to research on the internet and the first item that came up I thought I was reading about myself. The title above and then the story started like this: "My sexless marriage" and I could swear I was reading about myself, my life. 24 years married. Two kids in...
    Metoobaby Metoobaby 51-55, F 1 Response Apr 18

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    My Husband Is Asexual

    We have been married six years and rarely have sex anymore. From early on, I felt something was not quite right and chalked it up to his laid back style and just did most of the initiating. He cooperated but did not reciprocate or offer to try anything new. I guess what I am...
    bckmoon bckmoon 56-60, F Nov 5, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    My husband is a great man and an all around great catch he is a hard working war hero and good father. But but but he has a 4" penis the man I was with before him was nearly 10...
    killakelley killakelley 26-30, F 9 Responses Sep 6

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    I've been reading, posting, and commenting on this group for awhile. I notice a lot of women come here asking what they can do to improve their marriages or make their husband...
    JacobsGirl360 JacobsGirl360 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 1

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    ok i'm 21 years old i still go By my given name yes i'm a at home house wife yes i know he was gay from the get go we started it off as high school friends when we started college...
    thelostboyxxx thelostboyxxx 18-21 5 days ago

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    I married a man who is not who I thought he was and now I feel completely trapped .... I need a break ... I don't think I was meant to be married ... I give too much of myself and...
    season82 season82 31-35, F 23 Responses Aug 29

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    I believe Asexuality is made fun of by many. I can't be the only one who has gotten the asexual joke of: "you self procreate?" But also, I think it's viewed as a form of cowardice...
    illiy illiy 16-17, F Sep 2

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    I've been asexual as long as I can remember, but I didn't know the term existed until about a year, maybe a year and a half ago. I constantly get frustrated with myself and my...
    billykaplan billykaplan 18-21, F Aug 30

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    The sexual world often falls into the terrible habit of equating passion and sensuality with sex, and in that same vein, identifying people as more or less passionate, more or less...
    InhuldibleCrelk InhuldibleCrelk 36-40 1 Response Sep 2

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    And I love it. I love the arguments, because love follows, I love the funny moments of early morning clumsiness, because love follows, I love the hours of silent treatment, then...
    Lovehermorethensherealizes Lovehermorethensherealizes 26-30, M 4 Responses 46 mins ago

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    So... I was a virgin until I was 22 and it didn't seem unusual to me. It felt great keeping sex out of the equation. In school I was the only girl who didn't obsess over a star, I...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 1 Response Aug 21

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    I am 29 yr male asexual (Muslim) but loving relationship looking for asexual girl in same situation to speak about relationship. If interested please message me.
    HHopeful HHopeful 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 21

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    If you’re asexual and wanna have sex, you’re awesome If you’re asexual and don’t care about sex, you’re awesome If you never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER wanna...
    InhuldibleCrelk InhuldibleCrelk 36-40 1 Response Aug 21

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    I discovered that I am asexual about 1 or 2 years ago. I am a romantic asexual and I have a boyfriend. The only problem is that he is sexual. He thinks that I only think of him as...
    CeriMon CeriMon 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 27

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    I am 29 yr male asexual (Muslim) but loving relationship looking for asexual girl in same situation to speak about relationship. If interested please message me.
    HHopeful HHopeful 26-30, M Aug 28

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    I am asexual but loving relationship looking for asexual girl in same situation to speak about relationship. If you would to know more message me.
    HHopeful HHopeful 26-30, M 2 Responses Sep 5

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    last night my mom and I were watching a romantic movie, the characters fell in love and the movie ended with a simple kiss; somehow though we ended up having a discussion about me...
    justalittlewallflower justalittlewallflower 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 4

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    I am asexual and I don't need to change for anyone.
    xoxosabrinaxoxo xoxosabrinaxoxo 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    If you want to learn about asexuality, I am here for you. You can message me and I won't get angry and be disrespectful to you when you ask sincere questions.
    InhuldibleCrelk InhuldibleCrelk 36-40 Aug 22

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    I am asexual and will always be. I don't really see a need for sex to be honest, but I know that some people need it. I am also a lesbian or a homoromantic as some call it.
    RandomUsername15 RandomUsername15 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 23

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    I am a gender-fluid, pansexual, asexual... I don't see people as sexual objects, sex has absolutely no appeal to me. I am attracted to men like I am to a beautiful photo or...
    BrokenOneX BrokenOneX 31-35 5 Responses Aug 31

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    I've only recently accepted that I am asexual. I haven't told anyone yet, but I plan on telling my best friend soon. But now that I've accepted it, I've realised how hard the next...
    water202 water202 16-17, F 3 Responses Sep 2

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    I am asexual and it's killing my marriage
    habbydullah habbydullah 22-25, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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