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I Am Married to An Asexual Man

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 138 People

    If I Had Only Known

    I knew my future husband for 8 months before we got married. Three of those months were actually dating months. Thats when we went from just friends to dating.  During those months of dating he never made a pass at me, kissing was there but it seemed only if I...
    sthrnbren sthrnbren
    46-50, F
    5 Responses Oct 14, 2009

    I put a few things together

    and decided to research on the internet and the first item that came up I thought I was reading about myself. The title above and then the story started like this: "My sexless marriage" and I could swear I was reading about myself, my life. 24 years married. Two kids in...
    Metoobaby Metoobaby
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Apr 18, 2014

    Not Natural And Not Fair

    I'm 33 years old, and I just had my 6-year wedding anniversary. I am married to a good man who I know loves me... in his own way. The MAJOR problem is that my husband has absolutely no sex drive, no sexual thoughts, no need for sex whatsoever. We haven't had sex in...
    Lonelydancer Lonelydancer
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Feb 4, 2010

    I Love Him Dearly But.....

    During the months before I left my high paying job to move to the middle of nowhere and marry my asexual husband, a male co-worker confided to me, in his cups, “Every man in this office fantasizes about having sex with you.” I exercised 45 minutes a day to maintain an...
    Jan 31, 2013

    Soul Mates Not Bed Mates

    I met my husband about a year and a half ago. We had been in therapy for a good part of our marriage. Let me back up first we met and married within 4 months. Sex was incredible for about 2 months. Then suddenly I mean the brakes came on fast. I didn't understand and took him to...
    Blessed316 Blessed316
    31-35, F
    May 17, 2013

    I Had No Idea There Even Was Such A Thing...

    I've been married to my husband for 8 years now, with him for 10 years. During the first 2 years of our dating life together, we had what I thought was a good sex life. I noticed that I was the one who always initiated it, but since he responded, I didn't really think much...
    mustangergirl mustangergirl
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Nov 3, 2012

    Re: Selfish Asexual Men

    30 years ago I married this man after living with him and he was fine UNTIL I married him. Oh lots of great excuses and good ones at tha t AFTER I married him. Let ME tell you the TRUTH. Okay. You really need to deal with this and at least know it is NOT you. (1) There is a...
    Neptune500 Neptune500
    Nov 11, 2012

    I'M Young &Amp; Dating A Potentially Asexual Man. I'M At A Major Crossroads With This &Amp; Would Love To Hear What Decisions Other Women Would Have Made If They'D Found Out Before Tying The Knot.

    I feel kind of stupid and irrelevant posting because all the other stories are written by women who are already married and have been married for many years. And many of you even have kids. But I just don't know where else to turn. I'm also in a very easy position to just leave...
    Rin88 Rin88
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Mar 19, 2013

    I Am Married To An Asexual Man

    I am a 35 year old married woman. I got married 2 and a half years back. My husband is completely asexual,...he does not want to touch me sexually or have sex. I know that he loves me a lot. He is extremely sweet otherwise and buys me gifts all the time. But I feel cheated,...I...
    priyanka35 priyanka35
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Aug 28, 2012

    As a young woman I was quite shy

    and lacked confidence and self esteem having experienced mental and physical abuse from a childminder in my early years, I partly escaped to school, but there I was too scared of people to join in, spent most of my time on my own in a sea of people, not really knowing how to...
    MaggieRoberts123 MaggieRoberts123
    Sep 20, 2014

    My Sexless Marriage - It Took 20 Years For Me To Find Out What Is Wrong

    I've been in a sexless marriage for 20 years and have sought help for my loneliness for the last 10 years. No one ever mentioned asexuality to me, I talked to therapists, counselors, clergy. They all suggested that either something was wrong with our relationship or my husband...
    allbttr allbttr
    46-50, F
    14 Responses Oct 22, 2011

    I want to hear from you.

    As many gals on this site, it took me a while to realize that our sex life is not considered normal. We get busy with life, jobs, kids etc and one day, I just got plain tired and ran out gas. We started dating, and as he would put it later in counseling sessions, "our...
    lonely821 lonely821
    46-50, F
    May 7, 2014

    Discovering The Truth

    We know each other for 9.5 years and married for 6.5 until now everything was "ok" I was living with hope of have a little bit more of sex. By the way in last 3 years we had about 5 sex experiences. Unable to get pregnant, unless a miracle would occur, unable to understand what...
    Beanlake Beanlake
    41-45, F
    Nov 3, 2012

    Do I Stay?

    I have been in a relationship with an asexual man for four years. I moved in with him one year ago. He is in his early 50's and I am an attractive 47 year old. He is my very best friend, but the emptiness of not having a physical relationship is taking its toll on me. It is not...
    Brighten1 Brighten1
    51-55, F
    1 Response May 22, 2013

    Now A Name For It At Last

    I've been with my husband for 23 years. I thought I was alone. I thought I had rose coloured specs on. Even before we moved in together we had problems. I didn't see it at the time. He would go for hours without finishing. Some time afterwards he told me he didn't think he could...
    kitty7899 kitty7899
    Aug 16, 2012

    Have Been An Asexual Husband To A Caring Wife For Far, Far Too Long

    I imposed my asexuality on my fine and caring wife for far too long, as our careers and lives took us together over three continents. Unsurprisingly, I have hurt her very much and cannot continue to hurt her a moment longer. She is the love of my life and I do desire her but...
    Sixdollargum Sixdollargum
    46-50, M
    2 Responses May 6, 2012

    6 Years Of Marriage With An Asexual Man And Death Of First Child

    I am 31 yr old married attractive woman. It was started 6 yrs ago,  with hardly 4 months of courtship period we got married in April 2007.  In courtship period we dnt met much as he is in another city for work , but i do get the red flags such as he told me he dont want to go...
    rajnibharara rajnibharara
    31-35, F
    Jul 31, 2013

    The Effects Of Being With A Closet Asexual...

    Hi there, I was with my ex for three years and lived with him since day one. He is an amazing guy, really amazing. But he's asexual - I think - he's not admitted it. We were having sex to start with but not often. That soon disappeared. He is very lovely and caring but not...
    22-25, F
    8 Responses May 4, 2010

    We're in the same boat.

    ... I really do not know where to start. I am a 50 year old, highly sexual woman who has found she married an asexual man. We met 4 years ago. We had common interests. I'd been celebate, for about 3 years, not because I didn't want sex, but because I wanted sex in a...
    GSOTeacher GSOTeacher
    51-55, F
    1 Response Aug 24, 2015

    Scared To Face The Truth...I'Ve Married An Asexual Man.

    I've finally faced facts and am petrified of the next steps I feel I may need to take. I have been with my now husband for 5 years, married for 11 months. Like many sexuals in a relationship with an asexual I thought our sparse sex life was due to inexperience on his part and...
    Lbetty Lbetty
    2 Responses Apr 18, 2013

    My Husband Doesn't Touch Me, I Want To Die. the 12 years of marriage...we had sex may be...hmm..50 times. Wow, when i say it that way, it sounds like A LOT. But, it really isn't. My husband is like that - he has a sex drive...but it is so low. He has had so many excuses over the years, "i am tired", "I am...
    navea navea
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jun 2, 2012

    My Husband Is Asexual. Now What?

    I've been married 7.5 years to a great guy. We have a 4-year-old daughter, two dogs, and a nice suburban life. Our relationship seemed pretty normal, but as I've gotten older, my sex drive has ramped up, and it was becoming apparent to me that our sex frequency wasn't what I'd...
    PghHilary PghHilary
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Feb 23, 2012

    There Is Now A Support Organization For Sexuals In Relationships With Asexuals!

    There is finally a support organization for sexuals in relationships with asexuals! Go to:
    Integrity10 Integrity10
    41-45, M
    1 Response Mar 13, 2010

    Feeling Like Life Is Over . . .

    Five years ago I met the most wonderful man I could have imagined. A man who had a stable, respectable career, a great home, and tons of friends who welcomed me right away. He always showed me how much he appreciated me and was, and still is, extremely affectionate. However; sex...
    nikichic84 nikichic84
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jul 29, 2012

    Have Been An Asexual Husband To A Caring Wife For Far, Far Too Long

    I imposed my asexuality on my fine and caring wife for far too long, as our careers and lives took us together over three continents. Unsurprisingly, I have hurt her very much and cannot continue to hurt her a moment longer. She is the love of my life and I do desire her but...
    Sixdollargum Sixdollargum
    46-50, M
    3 Responses May 6, 2012

    Married 27 Years...di

    ..... and my sex life sucks!! Why in the hell would my husband NOT know that he as asexual!!! I saw some signs early, but I just dismiss it thinking it would go away. After to all, he is the nicest guy you will ever meet!! Instead of sex, he brings me chocolate (which i love) and...
    wmhls wmhls
    16 Responses Jan 30, 2011

    The Best Roomate I Will Ever Have...

    I am ashamed and angry that as an intelligent woman, I never figured it out until now. I am a sexual person. In my teens and early twenties, I might have been called plain slutty. That being said, I think sex can be satisfying, interesting, comforting and even funny...and to be...
    ldyorion77 ldyorion77
    36-40, F
    Sep 8, 2013

    It's Hard

    I've been with my partner for six years now. When we first met I had no idea that he was asexual, or that people identified as being asexual. There were signs looking back. He never initiated sex, he didn't like public displays of affection, and though he was with his last...
    Yuru Yuru
    26-30, M
    6 Responses Sep 3, 2009

    Suffering In Silence...

    I have been suffering in silence - re. sex deprivation for seventeen years of marriage to my wife. And until I stumbled on the term, asexual, just now, my efforts to understand her lack of interest in sex have found very fitting places in her Christian convictions, busy attitude...
    Otims Otims
    51-55, M
    Aug 21, 2012

    My Husband Is Asexual

    We have been married six years and rarely have sex anymore. From early on, I felt something was not quite right and chalked it up to his laid back style and just did most of the initiating. He cooperated but did not reciprocate or offer to try anything new. I guess what I am...
    bckmoon bckmoon
    56-60, F
    Nov 5, 2012

    Is My Husband Asexual And What Should I Do

    Hello All I have read your is mine. I have been married for 17 months and I now want to leave my husband. When I met him, he was 27 had never had sex and it really didn't bother him not to have had sex during that time ( he has no religious reasons or morale...
    Annabella15 Annabella15
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jun 13, 2012
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