I Am Married To Passive Aggressive Person

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 260 People

    He cancels my gym membership

    when he feels I have not gone enough. Without telling me.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Sep 16, 2014

    The light has finally come on,

    but so uncertain what to do. My daughter was in a very controlling,emotional,verbal,and physical abusive relationship. Some of the characteristics of this relationship was like I know this? Why are these things so familiar? My daughters boyfriend was PA,Narcissist. The reason it...
    silentworld22 silentworld22
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Aug 10, 2015

    I Left My Passive Aggressive Husband

    I was married to a PA man for 22 years.   The older he got the worse he got.  The more I learned about his personality the less I cared to stay.  I knew that I wanted more from my life than he could ever give me (like love).   To leave the marriage I had to move out  and I...
    hburk hburk
    38 Responses Feb 5, 2011

    has been in a weird depressed state all week.

    walks by and says "I'm worried about you, you're not yourself lately". WTF?
    amydextrous1 amydextrous1
    46-50, F
    1 Response Jun 18, 2015

    Do I Leave?

    I have been married for almost 35 years to a PA man. I recently admitted to myself that he is PA. We were in counseling for 3 1/2 years and not once did the counselor tell me or him that he exhibits PA behavior. I am isolated, lonely and at the end of my rope. I want to leave him...
    renesc renesc
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Jan 13, 2012

    I think my husband is PA

    but I'm not sure? I'm going crazy. Really. Today for example he has given the silent pouty treatment to me and our children because of a toy. Yes. A toy. I don't understand and I don't know what else to do. I don't even have it in me to argue anymore. We just go about our day...
    stopmakingmefeelcrazy stopmakingmefeelcrazy
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jan 31, 2016

    This morning, I'd Been awake about 5 minutes,

    my husband says "How are you feeling"? (this man has never been concerned with how I feel) . I was groggy, said "what do you mean?" and he said "exactly what I said, how are you feeling?" I said I dont know!I just woke up!! he then tells me I recently have smelled sick, like...
    amydextrous1 amydextrous1
    46-50, F
    1 Response Apr 29, 2015

    It is a miserable lonely experience to need

    someone who gives a **** you're alive and have no one.
    Wantfreedom67 Wantfreedom67
    46-50, F
    1 Response Jun 18, 2015

    Been married for almost 16 years,

    together for 22. 2 children together 10, and 14. And a step son who lives with my mom who is 21...they couldn't get along...feeling stuck and don't know what to do next, or how to act. I have just basically shut down from him. If I try to talk to him it's turns into my problem...
    chevymom chevymom
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Mar 25, 2014

    After four years of dating,

    and 3 months of marriage, I think your stories have helped me identify why I have never felt connected to my husband, always found him superficial, unreliable, and ultimately dishonest. He is a deceptively "nice guy" who always seemed more absent minded than malicious when he...
    PAWnomore PAWnomore
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 19, 2015

    I couldn't put my finger on it

    for 6 years or so, I thought I was going crazy. He's PA. FINALLY! an answer. But not for him he doesn't believe it he's in denial. But here's my problem, he puts on such a good show for everyone around that when I say he's PA people are like 'really?! ' YES really! He has...
    jjflygirl1 jjflygirl1
    51-55, F
    4 Responses Jul 9, 2014

    His mother's 80th birthday party up at the

    family cottage. When we discussed it last month at dinner we had decided on going up just for the day because there would be no room for the four of us to sleep. Last week I am told he will go up with our toddler and stay overnight. Our older daughter wants to stay home and so I...
    netherose netherose
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Jul 29, 2015

    Struggling with how to tell husband we need to

    separate. If I give a list of reasons, he'll fly off the handle, and deny is behavior. . If I don't, he'll beg me to tell him why.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Oct 7, 2015

    After 25 years of marriage I

    now have no friends and no marriage. I am a shell of the person I used to be. I'm so tired of people not understanding how this one person can effect your entire life. I have no bruises so I'm not abused in their eyes. My horrible aunt says you need to fix this, my mother says...
    Wantfreedom67 Wantfreedom67
    46-50, F
    2 Responses May 13, 2015

    Hi..i am separated from my P.

    A husband for 5 weeks now. It's been the hardest time ever. I had to ask him to leave when i could no longer tolerate the sneakiness, and lying. I've never felt so lost over something that was so damaging to me. We have a house and bills to take care of and he's moved away and...
    setfree2014 setfree2014
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Apr 24, 2014

    So Mad And So Sad All At The Same Time........

    I feel as if I am two people sometimes.....I love the "good" part of him but wish secretively that the "bad" part would develop some horrible affliction.... I cry sometimes, then sometimes I feel so liberated from this cold, selfish jackass. I hurt sometimes over his indifference...
    vdizzy1 vdizzy1
    1 Response Sep 26, 2012

    hello everyone It took me some time to

    understand my husband's behaviour because over the years he has successfully made me feel crazy. He seemed to be a charming, quiet, intelligent man but had I known earlier about his personality disorder I could have read the signs, as they were there right at the start of our...
    froggy7827 froggy7827
    56-60, F
    3 Responses Feb 28, 2015

    1994: He was everything to me

    when we met, just a strong quiet gentleman, an inexperienced one but at the time I thought that would be better than all those jerks I was with before. There were signs I ignored, the lack of intimacy, the financial mistakes, just hanging out and never really doing couple stuff...
    jenbuck69 jenbuck69
    41-45, F
    1 Response May 1, 2015

    Notes On Passive Aggressive Behaviour

    Content What is passive aggressiveness? What are the typical reactions to my passive aggressiveness? What irrational thinking keeps me being passive aggressive when I disagree with others? How can I recognize when someone is being passive aggressive with me? How can I...
    puggy puggy
    13 Responses Dec 3, 2009

    Life In A Strait-jacket

    For the past 10 years, I have been married to a man who I now know to be passive-aggressive.  Before recently, actually, I never considered 'passive-aggressive' to be such a bad thing.  I am myself somewhat passive-aggressive by nature (takes one to know one, I guess!) but my...
    jolmagic jolmagic
    3 Responses May 3, 2011

    Omg! I hear you! ...I've posted twice in an

    hour! I'm new to this forum, but I'm hearing ALL the same life as mine...living with PA synth! He's living in his own made up world...isolating me ..snide comments, ...he even dodges me literally....in my own space...just to make things even more tense, and create an argument...
    Londonylady Londonylady
    51-55, F
    1 Response Aug 14, 2015

    Being Punished

    Hello. Apart from being in a sexless marriage, he happens to be a PA. Urgh! I would really appreciate your thoughts on my problem. Here goes: I am not allowed to differ from him in any way whatsoever. To him it is a personal attack. When he knows we will be going out (where...
    deleted deleted
    6 Responses Nov 17, 2013

    So I confronted my husband about his

    passive-aggressive behavior, and he admitted he knows he's passive-aggressive, he even admitted to withholding sex from me, and always getting angry on family outings, so I have been losing my mind trying to figure out what the hell is going on for years and he knows what...
    karuk karuk
    41-45, F
    Apr 2, 2016

    I Just Found This Article And Its Like Looking Into The Mirror Of My Marriage. Wow

    What Kind of Woman Marries The Passive Aggressive Man? By Cathy Meyer, About.com Guide It takes a special kind of woman to choose and marry a passive aggressive man. The woman who marries the passive aggressive man was taught in her family of origin to accept a high level of...
    toolatetoapologise toolatetoapologise
    51-55, F
    9 Responses Nov 20, 2012

    Married to a PA for 42 years

    that I still love, but hate the way he treats me and I just can't do it anymore. I am feeling so guilty because I have finally made the decision to move out. I'm so afraid that I won't be able to stay away though. Sadly, I still am looking for validation - from him, and from...
    Jeannie1952 Jeannie1952
    61-65, F
    3 Responses Dec 18, 2014

    The more I read,the more I see the mirror

    image of the glass house I live in. People can look though and see what appears to be there yet no one knows the truth of it all except ones living behind the glass..... We had two miscarriages, the first one he was out drunk all night,he did take me to the hospital for the...
    silentworld22 silentworld22
    46-50, F
    Aug 10, 2015

    Slowly Healing

    I had no idea what a passive aggressive personality is until about two years ago. I have been married to one for about 10 years, the past year we have not lived together. I still shake my head when i remember all of his behaviors that were so untruthful, spiteful, distrustful...
    healinghealer healinghealer
    56-60, F
    1 Response Sep 29, 2012

    Speak Up!

    This was said today in a blog I've been following about Passive Aggressive Abuse,"As you love yourself enough to speak up you become someone who requires respect and individuality and a voice." (credit to Sabrena Stolze)As I was growing up, I was taught the Golden Rule found in...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses May 20, 2013
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