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I Am Mentally Damaged Due To My Past

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,680 People

    I wish I wasn't. It gets in the way of

    so many things. It makes me act like someone I'm not and who I'm ashamed to be. At least there are some ppl who love and accept me for my flaws, even if they don't know all of them.
    rememberthegirl rememberthegirl 26-30, F 4 Responses Sep 23, 2015

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    What Therapists Don't Tell You...

    ...I remember shopping in a used bookstore. Their self-help book section had a placard that said "All better now? Sell us your used self-help books!" I always believed I could be fixed if I worked hard. I always held out hope...someday I was going to put the shadows behind me. I...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 8 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    My Two Cents' Worth

      I am mentally damaged due to my past, as well as other contributing factors. I have been taking a few weeks to assess myself and I have arrived at some pretty interesting conclusions that I would like to share here, so here they are:     I am a loving, valuable, person with...
    northguy northguy 46-50, M 2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    My family is crazy. I'm pretty sure I have BPD

    and the rest of my family probably have some different disorders as well. I blame them for how I turned out and all the things that bother me.
    Filledout Filledout 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 22

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    Tonight I realised that I'm still the same

    damaged little girl that I've always been! The same little girl who desperately wants someone to rescue her from herself.
    Alreadyowned7379 Alreadyowned7379 36-40, F 6 Responses Nov 8, 2015

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    Here I Sit-in My Box

    so, here i sit- in my box on the verge of blacking out. a boy riddled as a father whittles a 'gentleman' from the devils mouth. intoxicated aggression unhealthy obsession teaches the boy a mans clout. a young man with the world at command hot tempered, indeed a devils disease...
    JAsEBASTIAN JAsEBASTIAN 31-35 7 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    Hello. Are you listening to me?

    Are you talking to me? Are you trying to give me a lesson? Just give me a sign.. I feel silly talking to myself in my head, and crazy when I hear/feel answers.  I feel like I’m going crazy, or have been traumatized and I am interpreting things wrong.  I’ve had my in’s...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 29, 2014

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    As a child, I had no friends

    and was constantly bullied and excluded. If I did happen to get to know anyone, it was only leading to the eventual backstabbing that I came to expect. I tried to commit suicide at the age of 10, and though it might be young, it is proof that my past was damaged and still hurts...
    leatherkisses leatherkisses 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 30, 2015

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    I never really got much attention from my

    parents when I was younger. Even when I did it was my dad tossing something extremely negative in my direction. Verbally hurting you're own kids should count as abuse. It all resulted in maladaptive daydreaming by the time I was 6.
    AvereMay01 AvereMay01 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    I'm not mentally damaged,

    I just can't trust people because of my past and what others have done to me.. :/
    Cheesyboy Cheesyboy 22-25, M 3 Responses Dec 20, 2013

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    Let me rephrase... I am not damaged.

    I have some little scars in my mind from the past, but I do not let it rule my life. I let it go and move forward with life. I become a better human being every day because I learn from the past and don't let it come between living a full and happy life.
    MissyMo MissyMo 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 19, 2014

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    I've been through drug addicted parents,

    being homeless, two divorces, seeing my mom get beat by my step dad, suicide failures, being lost, running away, sleeping on the street, having my mom be in jail, being stabbed, being jumped, Being left home alone for a month, having lost people, being used, being betrayed...
    anonymousdrummer anonymousdrummer 16-17, M 2 Responses Jul 19, 2015

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    Life Has Made Me A Bitter Person

    throughout my life, it has been one form of conflict to the next, and at some point, i just stopped caring all together now i can't seem to give a damn about anyone or anything, im like the walking dead, just unable to be fased or surprised by anything, regret or shame, pity or...
    randomact100 randomact100 16-17, M 2 Responses Nov 17, 2012

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    Because of my dad I don't think I will ever be

    normal, brave or independent. I was beaten and raped by him many times when lived there. Even though it only been 8 months since I moved in with my mom I don't think I will ever gett better. I have nightmares every night about him attacking me and most of them are very realistic...
    misaka12 misaka12 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    Sometimes when I'm out doing random things with

    my friends, I get random flashbacks of my past. I either almost faint or cry. I end up feeling ill and numb for the rest of the day. It's terrible
    neptunegurl neptunegurl 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    It Came Crashing Back Today

    A man met a women They fell in love She already had a son and a divorce under her belt But he didn't mind He loved her More than anything She loved him He loved her son Cherished him Then they had a daughter Daddy's little girl She slowly stopped loving him He slowly drifted...
    Reneetodd Reneetodd 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2013

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    My Past Is My Scars........

    As strange as this mood is, I am at peace with who I am & why I am the way I am. I have tried changing, tried losing weight to make myself more 'attractive'. I've tried to bury the fears, & work through the ghosts of my past. I have spent the last 10 yrs doing all that I...
    WynterAngel WynterAngel 36-40 32 Responses Nov 29, 2009

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    Stopped meds and now feeling like I should go

    back onto them. I feel like I will never get better. I am so scared. It is not normal to feel this terrible all the time. How will I ever get a career if I can't even get the energy to do anything else other than lie down and cry. This is not fair..
    kbeary kbeary 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 19, 2014

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    Family Portrait.....

    I guess you could say that most of my problems began before I was even born. My mom was 22 when she got pregnant with me, and my dad was 25. Both young, immature, and clueless! My dad left the day my mom told him she was pregnant, but she didnt let that bother her. During her...
    Blackbarbie1987 Blackbarbie1987 26-30, F 18 Responses Aug 7, 2011

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    I was talking to someone

    and she said that I might have intimacy issues because I won't let a guy make me ******... this has been going on for a while.. I'm the kind of girl that when I have sex I feel like I have to focus on the guy and have him do nothing to me.. I am now 20 and damaged..when I have...
    Moniquefra Moniquefra 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 14, 2015

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    I was a very happy child growing up

    and that all changed the day that I went to high school. I was not rich I did not dress well I had bad hygiene therefore People insulted me. I moved to another school a continuation school and I was bullied like you can not Imagine I would count the days in a calendar for the...
    Jennabybel Jennabybel 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 5, 2015

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    I hate to admit it but I am.

    .I just can't let it go And try to move on but I can't ..and Is it bad to wish death on someone? Because I do everyday and I've been thinking to go up to prison and look at him in the face just let him know that he didn't break me and that I didn't turn out to be some alcoholic...
    Kayceetho Kayceetho 16-17, F 7 Responses Dec 14, 2015

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    I have borderline personality disorder,

    depression, strong anger & anxiety. I quit my last two jobs because I couldn't deal with people. I signed up for disability, and I'm not proud but I've been saving up ever since. I live at my mom's and I'm constantly stressing whether my belongings will be touched. In the past...
    keltic815 keltic815 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    I've been through so much.

    I'm such a good person but I always hook up with the wrong type of people. Once they get to know me they me they find a weakness and use me. Or try to..the antics they use. That's why I try not to give my all in friendships and relationships. I am not the same person I was...
    SentimentalMood SentimentalMood 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 17, 2014

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    VincenteLime VincenteLime 18-21 Jul 10, 2015

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    Read my featured story

    and you'll understand.
    Wolflover1999 Wolflover1999 16-17, M Oct 10, 2015

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    I'm So Damaged....

    I have no idea who I am anymore. I loved a guy to the extent of killing who I am for him. All this was for the day he left me for another woman. I have lost who I was and I cant seem to find myself. I grew so dependent on him,he was my strength and my only happiness. The day he...
    confusdsoul12345 confusdsoul12345 18-21, F 36 Responses Dec 13, 2010

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    I feel that I am, but I just need to keep

    healing from all that pain and get past it.
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 9, 2015

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    I hate hate hate hate myself.

    Ive been treated so badly in the past by my partners that im just expecting my current to do it too :/ my heart tells me that he wont but my head tells me "everyone else has done it what makes him different"... My head just wont listen to my heart and let me move on :/. Im...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 28, 2015

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    Derrick1987 Derrick1987 26-30, M 3 Responses Jul 22, 2014

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    Thursday, December 26th 2013.

    My third evaluation and papers from the doctor. I am officially and certifiably nuts. Diagnosis changes and additions, new therapies and medication on it's way, in between another rather complicated surgery I was elected for the very next day. So to all those people who were...
    Dantescircle Dantescircle 36-40, M 6 Responses Dec 28, 2013

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    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

    THIS IS INSANE INSANE INSANE AND INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SINCE THIS IS ALREADY INSANE, I'D PUSH IT TO THE HIGHEST LEVEL.
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    How many times have you asked yourself "how

    much of this weight can I actualy take on my back?" What seems like a never ending question has a simple answer- I don't know. The thought of surviving half of the obstacles life throws at me scares ths crap out of me. What kind of a damaged miserable person would I be if I...
    Emilia94 Emilia94 22-25, F Oct 6, 2015

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    there's so much on my mind

    that I can't tell people be use I'll get the same response so why bother? so many emotions and feelings that I feel that I can't express. so many body issues as in health, so it feels. the more I wake up the more fed up I become. the more I try to work on myself the more I don't...
    xdizzybutterflyx xdizzybutterflyx 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 5

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    You can be done with the past,

    but the past chooses when to be done with you.
    anonymousdrummer anonymousdrummer 16-17, M Apr 22, 2015

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    My entire life, I was always told to shut up

    so all throughout my school days, I was awkwardly mute. Because I was so used to being shushed, I just became caught up in my thoughts because all I could do was think. Nobody wanted to hear what a child had to say. I think this is how I began to write poetry and lyrics. I began...
    VincenteLime VincenteLime 18-21 Jul 10, 2015

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    I have lost all trust of everybody,

    that I have met and probably will meet. I was brutally slandered/libel and cyber bullied in ways by people who were supposed to be my friends and co workers. Even over 5 years later people in my town will make comments, vandalize my vehicle, and try to manipulate random people...
    Bonescar Bonescar 18-21, M Jan 27

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    ***I had no idea where to post this

    so I threw it here*** Ppl I talk to one on one, face to face or through social media, I can spill my guts about events. They have no emotions attached to them for me. But what I rarely share is my emotions. If you get my emotions. Then you know I'm letting you in close. Like...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 1, 2015

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    I don't have real great motor skills from being

    born premature and I'm kinda challenged.. People don't like me :( I tend to be clingy and gullible :(
    BlueCandyDish BlueCandyDish 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2015

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    PTSD, anxiety, trust issues etc.

    not fun but we can't change the past right?? It's part of who I am now. Some people can't accept who it's made me, even the ones who caused it. But I am me. :)
    kaye23e kaye23e 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 8, 2014

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    Probably a slightly different story from the

    usual. I come from a family obsessed with image and showing that they are better than others pretty much. It is something that has given me trust issues because of all the hypocrisy I've witnessed since young. But thats not the point, i suffer from social anxiety, low self...
    Jothic Jothic 22-25, M May 25, 2015

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    My Zopiclone Overdose

    I wanted to share with you my experience of zopiclone overdose which happened almost 10 months ago. I had drunk alot of vodka prior to taking 65 7.5mg tablets of zopiclone. I counted them out then shoved handfuls in my mouth. It took about 15 minutes till they really kicked in...
    melancolique melancolique 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 30, 2012

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    Unchecking this with the realization the past

    is over and I am no longer being damaged therefore any invisible scars can be conciously erased by the master of my brain-me. I hope this helps the people here. No excuses. You are the choices you make TODAY not your past, unless you make that choice.
    syntheticrhyme syntheticrhyme 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 22, 2015

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    positive, be positive.

    . that's all I I seem to hear... if it was that easy I think EP wouldnt have as many users
    willazrael willazrael 18-21, M 3 Responses Aug 30, 2015

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    So sometimes I think different parts of my mind

    is stuck at certain ages. Like there is a part of me still stuck in high school. Another part in my early 20s. Another current, and just various points in my life along the way. I will see certain things in the eyes of the 16 year old that I was... for that moment I am 16. Other...
    TexasBrian TexasBrian 36-40, M Oct 30, 2015

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