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I Am Mentally Damaged Due To My Past

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,376 People

    Because of my dad I don't think I will ever be

    normal, brave or independent. I was beaten and raped by him many times when lived there. Even though it only been 8 months since I moved in with my mom I don't think I will ever gett better. I have nightmares every night about him attacking me and most of them are very realistic...
    misaka12 misaka12 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 29, 2013

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    Im went into a coma from abuse,

    lost 12 years of my life. So yeah i think that counts as mentally damaged. Did i mention i like sloths
    Alexzoz Alexzoz 16-17, M Mar 9

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    My parents are alcoholics.

    They were horribly abused in their childhoods. They abused me. It took me a long time to allow myself to feel the feelings surrounding my family or origin. I always made excuses for them. Until finally a therapist showed it was okay to be angry and grieve my childhood. I...
    jkester2014outlookcom jkester2014outlookcom 26-30, F Aug 10

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    There are many sayings about your future being

    whatever you want it to be. However, how does one get past a messed up childhood? I am having a hard time forgiving!
    AmethystMoon77 AmethystMoon77 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    Here I Sit-in My Box

    so, here i sit- in my box on the verge of blacking out. a boy riddled as a father whittles a 'gentleman' from the devils mouth. intoxicated aggression unhealthy obsession teaches the boy a mans clout. a young man with the world at command hot tempered, indeed a devils disease...
    JAsEBASTIAN JAsEBASTIAN 31-35 8 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    My childhood was a nightmare.

    I was the subject of my mothers evil ways. I took her abuse daily then the abuse of her " boy toys". I was put down, blamed for everything that went wrong her in life and emotionally beating. I lived in and out of foster care until I was taking away by my grandparents after I...
    lover4life33 lover4life33 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 9

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    I was taken for granted I was the one

    who lead the big social circle of my classmates back in 7th grade, but then two girls were fighting over a boy, it makes all the classmates turned their back to one girl, i was never taking any side, now then the gang splits into two groups, which is like enemy to each other...
    LilyGlass LilyGlass 13-15, F Jun 27

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    It Came Crashing Back Today

    A man met a women They fell in love She already had a son and a divorce under her belt But he didn't mind He loved her More than anything She loved him He loved her son Cherished him Then they had a daughter Daddy's little girl She slowly stopped loving him He slowly drifted...
    Reneetodd Reneetodd 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2013

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    He slips into my room at night,

    and climbs up to my bed. He acts like what he's doing is right, and I'm his only little toy. He touches me in places I dare not speak of, and each time he penetrates me all I wanna do is yelp. He grasps around my youthful neck and soon I can hardly breathe, if only someone would...
    boundbycuffs0613 boundbycuffs0613 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 13

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    A True Product Of My Environment

    So I certainly dont want to turn this into a pity session. There was a time in my life when I felt sorry for myself & used my childhood as an excuse for my reckless behavior. However, there are times when certain stories, memories, even songs will trigger the onset of a near...
    dublingal5 dublingal5 41-45, F 2 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    I used to be in love.

    Deeply madly in love. I used to sleep with his sweatshirt as a pillow just so I can breathe him in. He would cross my mind non stop. I was whole with him. One day it just ended right before my eyes. I cried myself to sleep for months. I still do sometimes over a year later. I...
    rebeccab2 rebeccab2 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 11

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    Derrick1987 Derrick1987 26-30, M 3 Responses Jul 22

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    Bullying That Just Won't Mentally Go Away

    As much as I try to move on, learn from experiences and grow stronger, it just doesn't seem to work.   I am suffering severe depression, because I allowed someone to hurt me.  My self respect was lost, my ego crushed and my world came tumbling down. Never thought it...
    ignored42long ignored42long 36-40, F 22 Responses Dec 14, 2009

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    My Zopiclone Overdose

    I wanted to share with you my experience of zopiclone overdose which happened almost 10 months ago. I had drunk alot of vodka prior to taking 65 7.5mg tablets of zopiclone. I counted them out then shoved handfuls in my mouth. It took about 15 minutes till they really kicked in...
    melancolique melancolique 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 30, 2012

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    My Past Is My Scars........

    As strange as this mood is, I am at peace with who I am & why I am the way I am. I have tried changing, tried losing weight to make myself more 'attractive'. I've tried to bury the fears, & work through the ghosts of my past. I have spent the last 10 yrs doing all that I...
    WynterAngel WynterAngel 36-40 34 Responses Nov 29, 2009

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    Thursday, December 26th 2013.

    My third evaluation and papers from the doctor. I am officially and certifiably nuts. Diagnosis changes and additions, new therapies and medication on it's way, in between another rather complicated surgery I was elected for the very next day. So to all those people who were...
    Dantescircle Dantescircle 36-40, M 6 Responses Dec 28, 2013

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    I've been living a good life

    for some time now. But the darkness inside me keeps coming to the surface, showing it's ugly face. I keep putting it away but the sad feeling inside me has returned and I'm afraid if falling back in the black hole of which I came from. I've said this in a earlier story but this...
    Deepess Deepess 18-21, F Sep 1

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    I was bullied for 6-7 years

    when I was younger because of my nationality and my complexion. Because of that I still feel really insecure about my appearance, I have zero self esteem and big trust issues. It damaged me so much, I always start crying when I think about the hateful things they did and said to...
    funyarinpa funyarinpa 13-15, F 7 Responses Jun 11

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    I'm So Damaged....

    I have no idea who I am anymore. I loved a guy to the extent of killing who I am for him. All this was for the day he left me for another woman. I have lost who I was and I cant seem to find myself. I grew so dependent on him,he was my strength and my only happiness. The day he...
    confusdsoul12345 confusdsoul12345 18-21, F 38 Responses Dec 13, 2010

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    When I was younger some of my family members

    said/did things to me and my mom that were wrong. I know that it is the past and I cannot change it, but it still hurts. Me and my mom did nothing to deserve the kind of treatment they gave us. The way they treated us back then has came back and haunted them and NOW they need...
    raisetheroof raisetheroof 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 11

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    I'm not going to talk about it

    because it's not something I really like to talk about, but it still bothers me. It's been almost a year now and I still wake up crying. Sometimes, I have these raging nightmares about it which is never fun. I sometimes have flashbacks to it which causes me to hyperventilate and...
    BeautifulMistake21 BeautifulMistake21 13-15, F 6 Responses Jun 11

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    I'm not mentally damaged,

    I just can't trust people because of my past and what others have done to me.. :/
    Cheesyboy Cheesyboy 18-21, M 3 Responses Dec 20, 2013

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    I think it's sad that I'm on this site posting

    things about my past, because everyone expects me to be the "strong one". So on other sites. If I say anything really crazy and sad. They'll think different. I am a strong person and I know for a fact I am. I have been through a lot. I am emotionally scarred, and I've seen many...
    alice214 alice214 18-21, F Mar 8

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    I've been through so much.

    I'm such a good person but I always hook up with the wrong type of people. Once they get to know me they me they find a weakness and use me. Or try to..the antics they use. That's why I try not to give my all in friendships and relationships. I am not the same person I was...
    NightMagic367 NightMagic367 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 17

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    I was picked on in elementary school

    for being overweight. For three straight years I took those kids' crap. Now I have a severe social anxiety disorder. It really sucks.
    mongo275 mongo275 22-25, M Mar 30

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    Hong Kong turned me into one of the wrinkled

    faced people who work a lot for little money. I am a Canadian autistic who has never had anyone truly care for him and I was never properly educated and I have to be miserable yet my parents and everyone else wants me to suck it up but I cant because further suffering with...
    Miserablechildhood Miserablechildhood 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 16

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    I guess to understand the full depth of my

    story, it's best to start at the very beginning It all started when I turned 7. Up until that age, I has a great family. My mom and dad were still together, we had a nice house, in a great suburban neighborhoods, my dad has a good job and my 2 brothers and I were doing great...
    heartsofgold22 heartsofgold22 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    Girls flirt with me but I don't pursue.

    In the end, I'm a reasonable and capable person. Whatever problems I do have, I'm aware they exist. But you can't simply say, "I'm coming through this position, please wait I'll I travel to over there". It's not easy for someone who just met me to understand. They can't see the...
    AtheistsForJesus AtheistsForJesus 26-30, M 4 Responses Jan 16

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    I was bullied for being non manly,

    whatever that means. My teachers always held me in low esteem because I wasn't the man that they wanted in class. I never had lasting friendships or relationships because I was always stuck without progress . I'm not mental, I'm just a sad case of someone who didn't find an easy...
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    4 years being called "Inmate's son"

    and 3 years being called "Son of poverty" by schoolmates. House got vandalized also by schoolmates.
    ma1107y ma1107y 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 13

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    Last Christmas I had a confrontation with my

    then fiancee, we split, and had all types of messy stuff in between, whole point I ended up in therapy. Therapy opened up doors I didn't know where there. I mean I always think about the things I do and the things I've done, but I feel so full of remorse, I feel so rot within. I...
    mari3l0v3 mari3l0v3 22-25, F 1 Response May 7

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    RagnarLodbrok RagnarLodbrok 41-45, M 5 days ago

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    Everyone has their own special damage.

    You know, the thing that creates them? Such a little thing, can create such a devastating affect on a person, especially at a younger age. When your younger, you have such little memory at the time. You have no other choice but to focus on your past which was easily 3-5 years...
    Tman456789 Tman456789 16-17, M Dec 18, 2013

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    Sometimes when I'm out doing random things with

    my friends, I get random flashbacks of my past. I either almost faint or cry. I end up feeling ill and numb for the rest of the day. It's terrible
    neptunegurl neptunegurl 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 27

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    I never got over my crushes in my past.

    I was younger, i was 19-20. I think its an age where you are full of joy, curiousity and life. So i was, untill my crushes dissapeared. Something like this hurts a lot and not everyone can get over it. For me it was like my world fell apart and i died. Now so many years later i...
    angel8i angel8i 31-35, F Jun 11

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    PTSD, anxiety, trust issues etc.

    not fun but we can't change the past right?? It's part of who I am now. Some people can't accept who it's made me, even the ones who caused it. But I am me. :)
    kaye23e kaye23e 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 8

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    I want to leave my current city

    and go home but I can't :( I think m jus gonna drift off into oblivion
    Sydneysider Sydneysider 26-30, F Jun 3

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    I'm crazy its hereditary

    but I have a lot of emotional scarring. I'm mostly superglue and duct-tape at this point.
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 28

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    My Two Cents' Worth

      I am mentally damaged due to my past, as well as other contributing factors. I have been taking a few weeks to assess myself and I have arrived at some pretty interesting conclusions that I would like to share here, so here they are:     I am a loving, valuable, person with...
    northguy northguy 46-50, M 2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

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    Hey guys... I figured out how to feel better

    about myself, and be happier and I'd like to share it with you all. (I am aware this might all sound very hippie like...but I'm just trying to help others...) I have advice that might help .. I don't know if you're a spiritual person(meaning you find animals, humans...
    xxersabooxx xxersabooxx 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

    THIS IS INSANE INSANE INSANE AND INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SINCE THIS IS ALREADY INSANE, I'D PUSH IT TO THE HIGHEST LEVEL.
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    Life Has Made Me A Bitter Person

    throughout my life, it has been one form of conflict to the next, and at some point, i just stopped caring all together now i can't seem to give a damn about anyone or anything, im like the walking dead, just unable to be fased or surprised by anything, regret or shame, pity or...
    randomact100 randomact100 16-17, M 3 Responses Nov 17, 2012

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    Hello. Are you listening to me?

    Are you talking to me? Are you trying to give me a lesson? Just give me a sign.. I feel silly talking to myself in my head, and crazy when I hear/feel answers.  I feel like I’m going crazy, or have been traumatized and I am interpreting things wrong.  I’ve had my in’s...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 29

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    Yeah, i am. There is a long list of mental

    issues i have, and i really don't know where to start
    ThatBlueOwl ThatBlueOwl 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 10

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    Family Portrait.....

    I guess you could say that most of my problems began before I was even born. My mom was 22 when she got pregnant with me, and my dad was 25. Both young, immature, and clueless! My dad left the day my mom told him she was pregnant, but she didnt let that bother her. During her...
    Blackbarbie1987 Blackbarbie1987 26-30, F 20 Responses Aug 7, 2011

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    Stopped meds and now feeling like I should go

    back onto them. I feel like I will never get better. I am so scared. It is not normal to feel this terrible all the time. How will I ever get a career if I can't even get the energy to do anything else other than lie down and cry. This is not fair..
    kbeary kbeary 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 19

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    Pandorazz Pandorazz 26-30 3 Responses May 9

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    What Therapists Don't Tell You...

    ...I remember shopping in a used bookstore. Their self-help book section had a placard that said "All better now? Sell us your used self-help books!" I always believed I could be fixed if I worked hard. I always held out hope...someday I was going to put the shadows behind me. I...
    hylierandom hylierandom 41-45 8 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    I was sitting down and thinking about the

    source of my unhappiness, anger, social timidness, passive aggression, and dismissive attitude towards other people, depression. naturally i am very defensive, but i haven't learned to take that energy to a good place. Instead i direct it towards others to protect myself from...
    AliKru AliKru 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 12

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    Depression, life is a *****,

    when I lost my company and investments, it was like a large weight magically materialized and started dragging me downward into a endless abyss, and I just made my point, not to mention I've been drunk for the majority of this year.
    httpdeathawaits httpdeathawaits 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 9

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