I Am Mentally Damaged Due To My Past

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,559 People

    This is only a small amount of the abuse

    that has happened in my childhood. It happened by many people for a long time. But this is what I need to talk about right now. I have a very large amount of stuff to talk about. I just got out of therapy and I'm just shaking like a leaf right now. It was a very difficult...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 24, 2015

    Here I Sit-in My Box

    so, here i sit- in my box on the verge of blacking out. a boy riddled as a father whittles a 'gentleman' from the devils mouth. intoxicated aggression unhealthy obsession teaches the boy a mans clout. a young man with the world at command hot tempered, indeed a devils disease...
    JAsEBASTIAN JAsEBASTIAN
    31-35
    7 Responses Jan 12, 2013

    PTSD, anxiety, trust issues etc.

    not fun but we can't change the past right?? It's part of who I am now. Some people can't accept who it's made me, even the ones who caused it. But I am me. :)
    kaye23e kaye23e
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Mar 8, 2014

    My Zopiclone Overdose

    I wanted to share with you my experience of zopiclone overdose which happened almost 10 months ago. I had drunk alot of vodka prior to taking 65 7.5mg tablets of zopiclone. I counted them out then shoved handfuls in my mouth. It took about 15 minutes till they really kicked in...
    melancolique melancolique
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 30, 2012

    Probably a slightly different story from the

    usual. I come from a family obsessed with image and showing that they are better than others pretty much. It is something that has given me trust issues because of all the hypocrisy I've witnessed since young. But thats not the point, i suffer from social anxiety, low self...
    Jothic Jothic
    22-25, M
    May 25, 2015

    Everyone has their own special damage.

    You know, the thing that creates them? Such a little thing, can create such a devastating affect on a person, especially at a younger age. When your younger, you have such little memory at the time. You have no other choice but to focus on your past which was easily 3-5 years...
    Tman456789 Tman456789
    18-21, M
    Dec 18, 2013

    I have lost all trust of everybody,

    that I have met and probably will meet. I was brutally slandered/libel and cyber bullied in ways by people who were supposed to be my friends and co workers. Even over 5 years later people in my town will make comments, vandalize my vehicle, and try to manipulate random people...
    Bonescar Bonescar
    18-21, M
    Jan 27

    I'm not mentally damaged,

    I just can't trust people because of my past and what others have done to me.. :/
    Cheesyboy Cheesyboy
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Dec 20, 2013

    What is the point of me living

    if I am just going to die anyways honestly if I died I would just be forgotten anyways everyone would be fine and eventually forget about me anyways I've only been hurt my whole life and it will Never end so there is no point
    BrokenAngelx BrokenAngelx
    18-21, F
    15 Responses Feb 14, 2014

    Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

    THIS IS INSANE INSANE INSANE AND INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SINCE THIS IS ALREADY INSANE, I'D PUSH IT TO THE HIGHEST LEVEL.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Nov 14, 2013

    How many times have you asked yourself "how

    much of this weight can I actualy take on my back?" What seems like a never ending question has a simple answer- I don't know. The thought of surviving half of the obstacles life throws at me scares ths crap out of me. What kind of a damaged miserable person would I be if I...
    Emilia94 Emilia94
    22-25, F
    Oct 6, 2015

    Because of my dad I don't think I will ever be

    normal, brave or independent. I was beaten and raped by him many times when lived there. Even though it only been 8 months since I moved in with my mom I don't think I will ever gett better. I have nightmares every night about him attacking me and most of them are very realistic...
    misaka12 misaka12
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Dec 29, 2013

    Life Has Made Me A Bitter Person

    throughout my life, it has been one form of conflict to the next, and at some point, i just stopped caring all together now i can't seem to give a damn about anyone or anything, im like the walking dead, just unable to be fased or surprised by anything, regret or shame, pity or...
    randomact100 randomact100
    16-17, M
    1 Response Nov 17, 2012

    "Sticks and stones may break my bones

    but words will never hurt me"....that's a lie. Words hurt. Words hurt like hell.Words can hurt worse than any punch or kick. When they are said there is no going back. Words can leave you damaged. Words can leave you broken. Words can have you dealing with mental pain for the...
    leadmenot leadmenot
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Nov 5, 2014

    I wish I wasn't. It gets in the way of

    so many things. It makes me act like someone I'm not and who I'm ashamed to be. At least there are some ppl who love and accept me for my flaws, even if they don't know all of them.
    rememberthegirl rememberthegirl
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Sep 23, 2015

    I don't even know what I'm doing anymore .

    ... my life my feelings my emotions my thoughts all seem to be a confusing mess .... I'm just going with the flow and hoping for the best
    LauraLovelyMarino LauraLovelyMarino
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 25

    I guess to understand the full depth of my

    story, it's best to start at the very beginning It all started when I turned 7. Up until that age, I has a great family. My mom and dad were still together, we had a nice house, in a great suburban neighborhoods, my dad has a good job and my 2 brothers and I were doing great...
    heartsofgold22 heartsofgold22
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Mar 29, 2014

    Sometimes when I'm out doing random things with

    my friends, I get random flashbacks of my past. I either almost faint or cry. I end up feeling ill and numb for the rest of the day. It's terrible
    neptunegurl neptunegurl
    16-17, F
    4 Responses Jun 27, 2014

    there's so much on my mind

    that I can't tell people be use I'll get the same response so why bother? so many emotions and feelings that I feel that I can't express. so many body issues as in health, so it feels. the more I wake up the more fed up I become. the more I try to work on myself the more I don't...
    mentallyhigh mentallyhigh
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 5

    I was a very happy child growing up

    and that all changed the day that I went to high school. I was not rich I did not dress well I had bad hygiene therefore People insulted me. I moved to another school a continuation school and I was bullied like you can not Imagine I would count the days in a calendar for the...
    Jennabybel Jennabybel
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 5, 2015

    I was talking to someone

    and she said that I might have intimacy issues because I won't let a guy make me ******... this has been going on for a while.. I'm the kind of girl that when I have sex I feel like I have to focus on the guy and have him do nothing to me.. I am now 20 and damaged..when I have...
    Moniquefra Moniquefra
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jun 14, 2015

    A True Product Of My Environment

    So I certainly dont want to turn this into a pity session. There was a time in my life when I felt sorry for myself & used my childhood as an excuse for my reckless behavior. However, there are times when certain stories, memories, even songs will trigger the onset of a near...
    dublingal5 dublingal5
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Aug 7, 2013
    howard1945 howard1945
    56-60, M
    1 Response Dec 19, 2014

    It Came Crashing Back Today

    A man met a women They fell in love She already had a son and a divorce under her belt But he didn't mind He loved her More than anything She loved him He loved her son Cherished him Then they had a daughter Daddy's little girl She slowly stopped loving him He slowly drifted...
    Reneetodd Reneetodd
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Sep 30, 2013

    I don't want to dwell on it

    or play the victim here, cause I know you kinds of people would love an excuse to come at me, I feel now my primary purpose for breathing is to take care of my cat. the only true friend I have, but I also feel like I was put here in earth to constantly defend myself, it seems...
    Cocrispy Cocrispy
    22-25, M
    1 Response Jan 31

    As a child, I had no friends

    and was constantly bullied and excluded. If I did happen to get to know anyone, it was only leading to the eventual backstabbing that I came to expect. I tried to commit suicide at the age of 10, and though it might be young, it is proof that my past was damaged and still hurts...
    leatherkisses leatherkisses
    16-17, F
    1 Response Oct 30, 2015

    Thursday, December 26th 2013.

    My third evaluation and papers from the doctor. I am officially and certifiably nuts. Diagnosis changes and additions, new therapies and medication on it's way, in between another rather complicated surgery I was elected for the very next day. So to all those people who were...
    Dantescircle Dantescircle
    36-40, M
    5 Responses Dec 28, 2013

    positive, be positive.

    . that's all I I seem to hear... if it was that easy I think EP wouldnt have as many users
    willazrael willazrael
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Aug 30, 2015

    Family Portrait.....

    I guess you could say that most of my problems began before I was even born. My mom was 22 when she got pregnant with me, and my dad was 25. Both young, immature, and clueless! My dad left the day my mom told him she was pregnant, but she didnt let that bother her. During her...
    Blackbarbie1987 Blackbarbie1987
    26-30, F
    17 Responses Aug 7, 2011

    Unchecking this with the realization the past

    is over and I am no longer being damaged therefore any invisible scars can be conciously erased by the master of my brain-me. I hope this helps the people here. No excuses. You are the choices you make TODAY not your past, unless you make that choice.
    syntheticrhyme syntheticrhyme
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Feb 22, 2015

    You can be done with the past,

    but the past chooses when to be done with you.
    anonymousdrummer anonymousdrummer
    16-17, M
    Apr 22, 2015

    I hate hate hate hate myself.

    Ive been treated so badly in the past by my partners that im just expecting my current to do it too :/ my heart tells me that he wont but my head tells me "everyone else has done it what makes him different"... My head just wont listen to my heart and let me move on :/. Im...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Aug 28, 2015

    My best friend was like a sister to me.

    We told each other everything. I loved her like my own sister. But one day, she just left. She said she didn't want to, that she had to, but that's not true. It was her choice and I guess she showed me how much she actually cared. It hurt so bad to know that everything she...
    Ugh2319 Ugh2319
    13-15, F
    May 25, 2015

    I hate to admit it but I am.

    .I just can't let it go And try to move on but I can't ..and Is it bad to wish death on someone? Because I do everyday and I've been thinking to go up to prison and look at him in the face just let him know that he didn't break me and that I didn't turn out to be some alcoholic...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Dec 14, 2015

    Stopped meds and now feeling like I should go

    back onto them. I feel like I will never get better. I am so scared. It is not normal to feel this terrible all the time. How will I ever get a career if I can't even get the energy to do anything else other than lie down and cry. This is not fair..
    kbeary kbeary
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jul 19, 2014

    ***I had no idea where to post this

    so I threw it here*** Ppl I talk to one on one, face to face or through social media, I can spill my guts about events. They have no emotions attached to them for me. But what I rarely share is my emotions. If you get my emotions. Then you know I'm letting you in close. Like...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 1, 2015

    I feel that I am, but I just need to keep

    healing from all that pain and get past it.
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Nov 9, 2015

    Let me rephrase... I am not damaged.

    I have some little scars in my mind from the past, but I do not let it rule my life. I let it go and move forward with life. I become a better human being every day because I learn from the past and don't let it come between living a full and happy life.
    MissyMo MissyMo
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 19, 2014

    I don't have real great motor skills from being

    born premature and I'm kinda challenged.. People don't like me :( I tend to be clingy and gullible :(
    BlueCandyDish BlueCandyDish
    13-15, F
    1 Response Dec 10, 2015

    Read my featured story

    and you'll understand.
    Wolflover1999 Wolflover1999
    16-17, M
    Oct 10, 2015

    I'm So Damaged....

    I have no idea who I am anymore. I loved a guy to the extent of killing who I am for him. All this was for the day he left me for another woman. I have lost who I was and I cant seem to find myself. I grew so dependent on him,he was my strength and my only happiness. The day he...
    confusdsoul12345 confusdsoul12345
    18-21, F
    35 Responses Dec 13, 2010

    Yep. its my fault. I did this to myself.

    I did not listen to her, for so many years. Made some bad choices, did not pay attention to her, and well yeah its my fault for the situation I am in. Here alone missing my ex wife. Tonight I found the neck less she gave me, it was in a box, I opened it and there it was, they...
    educatedredneck educatedredneck
    41-45, M
    Oct 26, 2015

    My Past Is My Scars........

    As strange as this mood is, I am at peace with who I am & why I am the way I am. I have tried changing, tried losing weight to make myself more 'attractive'. I've tried to bury the fears, & work through the ghosts of my past. I have spent the last 10 yrs doing all that I...
    WynterAngel WynterAngel
    36-40
    32 Responses Nov 29, 2009

    My Two Cents' Worth

      I am mentally damaged due to my past, as well as other contributing factors. I have been taking a few weeks to assess myself and I have arrived at some pretty interesting conclusions that I would like to share here, so here they are:     I am a loving, valuable, person with...
    northguy northguy
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Sep 23, 2012

    My entire life, I was always told to shut up

    so all throughout my school days, I was awkwardly mute. Because I was so used to being shushed, I just became caught up in my thoughts because all I could do was think. Nobody wanted to hear what a child had to say. I think this is how I began to write poetry and lyrics. I began...
    VincenteLime VincenteLime
    18-21
    Jul 10, 2015

    I never really got much attention from my

    parents when I was younger. Even when I did it was my dad tossing something extremely negative in my direction. Verbally hurting you're own kids should count as abuse. It all resulted in maladaptive daydreaming by the time I was 6.
    AvereMay01 AvereMay01
    13-15, F
    Jan 4
    Derrick1987 Derrick1987
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Jul 22, 2014

    Hello. Are you listening to me?

    Are you talking to me? Are you trying to give me a lesson? Just give me a sign.. I feel silly talking to myself in my head, and crazy when I hear/feel answers.  I feel like I’m going crazy, or have been traumatized and I am interpreting things wrong.  I’ve had my in’s...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 29, 2014

    What Therapists Don't Tell You...

    ...I remember shopping in a used bookstore. Their self-help book section had a placard that said "All better now? Sell us your used self-help books!" I always believed I could be fixed if I worked hard. I always held out hope...someday I was going to put the shadows behind me. I...
    hylierandom hylierandom
    41-45
    8 Responses Sep 21, 2013
    VincenteLime VincenteLime
    18-21
    Jul 10, 2015

    I've been through drug addicted parents,

    being homeless, two divorces, seeing my mom get beat by my step dad, suicide failures, being lost, running away, sleeping on the street, having my mom be in jail, being stabbed, being jumped, Being left home alone for a month, having lost people, being used, being betrayed...
    anonymousdrummer anonymousdrummer
    16-17, M
    1 Response Jul 19, 2015

    Tonight I realised that I'm still the same

    damaged little girl that I've always been! The same little girl who desperately wants someone to rescue her from herself.
    AlreadyOwned7379 AlreadyOwned7379
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Nov 8, 2015
More Stories