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I Am My Own Worst Enemy

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 23,429 People

    I have recently decided to stop being my own

    worst enemy. I have recently decided to try to change things for the better and care more about myself.
    saddeena saddeena 41-45, F 11 Responses May 3, 2014

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    Maihowl Maihowl 22-25, F 6 Responses Feb 9

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    I hate myself. I want to kill myself.

    Death feels like the one thing that could comfort me at this point. I'm overweight. I'm unattractive. I don't have nice things. The only thing I have going for me is that I'm reasonably smart and I am good at hiding emotions. A lot of people think they are my friends when I...
    DrGrilledCheese DrGrilledCheese 13-15, M 4 Responses Apr 6

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    I pick and choose who I care about,

    and how I go about doing so is a reflection of whether they do something for me emotionally. I don't waste my time befriending people unless I have a solid reason to assume they will benefit me emotionally and be a help in my betterment. Maybe that's selfish, I don't know. What...
    RelianceOnScience RelianceOnScience 22-25, F Mar 8

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    I love being alone, but I get

    so lonely, does anyone else feel this?
    melodyfey melodyfey 18-21, F 8 Responses Dec 9, 2014

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    lonely with BPD. They didn't have that

    as a pre-like/me too selection except having a family member with schizophrenia...not me...not yet. 36, male, morbid sense of reality, predominantly misanthropic (which is a good push towards no *&#!, s'why I'm lonely, but it's not as simple as medicine and therapists and...
    SocialSurgery SocialSurgery 36-40, M 1 Response Apr 7

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    lanna620 lanna620 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 3, 2014

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    I really wish I knew how to handle my emotions

    and situations better. -feeling really down on myself.
    createmeover createmeover 18-21, F 8 Responses Oct 24, 2014

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    I saw myself today hanging from a pole with a

    rope tied around my neck. This is getting out of hand. Ropes were all around me.
    allie724 allie724 16-17, F 8 Responses Dec 10, 2014

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    silverxrose silverxrose 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 10

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    Danceofhours Danceofhours 41-45, M 5 Responses Oct 24, 2014

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    Oh god! I've been having this problem

    for ages. I just hate babies and I get pleasure by seeing them cry. Is this normal?
    shanss13 shanss13 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 8

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    I really don't know who I am anymore.

    I know changes in my life need to be made and so desperately want them but always end up finding an excuse or reason not to make them. I convince myself that things are ok for so long and then end up having a really bad night like tonight. I hate me for pitying myself and end up...
    lu3elle79 lu3elle79 31-35, F 14 Responses Aug 2, 2014

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    I feel like this because I admit I can be a bit.

    .. Well... Judgy. What I mean is I'm constantly judging people and I don't hide it well. I make a face sort of and I think if I just stopped I'd have a lot more friends or at least people would like me better so I try to work on it but it's hard.
    kenyakayabney kenyakayabney 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    Eggyegg Eggyegg 46-50, F 3 Responses Feb 22

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    I am trapped im my own insecurities.

    im so unsure of myself that I cant function unless I have to. Being gay has changed me from the person I used to be. I know its from living a lie and not wanting to hurt anyone. I feel lost and hopeless a lot of the times.
    monteJ monteJ 36-40, M 2 Responses Feb 23

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    This was my first experience I shared on ep

    four years ago. Things about me has changed I am much more confident but apart me still carries this sadness. It sucks to say that I think it will always be with me. In certain aspects I am still my enemy. I've never been good at standing up for myself correctly and still shows...
    alostone alostone 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 2

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    I'm wish I could stop overthinking everything.

    I finally got the guy I like to hang out with me. He asked me if he could kiss me instead of saying yes like I wanted to. I couldn't help but think why. Why does he want to kiss me; I mean I'm nothing special. This is our first time hanging out and you barely know me so why...
    Brimwalker Brimwalker 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 25

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    Sometimes I just wish I was someone completely

    different.... Sometimes I just can't handle it.. :'(
    NessD98 NessD98 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 8, 2014

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    I post pretty pictures of my life

    but inside I have no idea what I'm doing with it.
    jadiss1 jadiss1 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 18, 2014

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    I just thought of something.

    I keep my distance from people. truly I do. My friends say I'm too trusting. Thats what they see. what I want them to believe...sad thing is...my best friend doesn't truly know me. 14 years of her life and she's never saw the demon in me. she's never made eye contact with it or...
    ashuriiNikooru ashuriiNikooru 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 22

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    Not having a 'complete' childhood really ruined

    me. Seeing as I am ridiculously different from society destroys me. I don't know what every one else knows. I don't know how to do simple 'normal' things 'everyone' has ever done. My intelligence isn't up to date to society and my age.... This kind of thing has driven me mad and...
    legendofmustard legendofmustard 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 8

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    " You are your own worst enemy.

    If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you" - Lisa Kleypas , Love in the Afternoon I have to learn to remove all these negative thoughts in my head... And apply this quote more to my...
    Aubexile Aubexile 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 21, 2014

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    The only person that can tear me down is me

    always have been always will be
    LipsOfAnAngel89 LipsOfAnAngel89 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 2

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    I am feeling empty...

    . feeling a horrible distance between Allah (the God) and myself. I am so sorry for everything I did to push myself away from Allah. I am my own worst enemy. O Allah, I want to return to your path. Please forgive me and please accept my repentance, amen.
    PikluRin PikluRin 31-35, M 1 Response Mar 25

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    I feel like I can't trust anyone.

    I gave up on myself, so others gave up on me too. I did this to myself. I just hate that I did :/ I wish I could go back in time...I just wish there was a way to fix this. A way to not feel like a psychopath. Why the hell would I push everyone who cares about me away?! Why would...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 20

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    I am my own worst bully.

    And I have NO MERCY on myself.
    LookingForTheSunshine LookingForTheSunshine 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 11

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    The only person I've ever fought in my whole

    life was myself. It will drive you mad!
    Salute2MyFlaws Salute2MyFlaws 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    I have got to stop letting people stress me out.

    But given a lifetime of shut up and take it it's easier said than done. I have keep how stressed and depressed I am a secret so long, that no one in my life really sees how past the breaking point I am
    Wantfreedom67 Wantfreedom67 46-50, F 3 Responses Dec 10, 2014

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    Do you talk to yourself?

    I do. And I also ask myself questions. The latest question I asked myself was, "Why Do I feel depressed?" I didn't immediately answer but I more so felt it. I'm not sure why I feel bad yet, but writing it out will shed some light to it. I feel depressed because I'm at a place...
    WearOutKyd WearOutKyd 26-30, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I have done a lot of things in my life

    that I will never forget and will always hate myself for. Most people have done things that are bad but not horrible. I wish there wee such things as time machines cause it's more that people bullying me, I bully myself. I had many enemies in my life but now I realise it's...
    HermioneGlasse HermioneGlasse 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 18

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    Counting down the seconds till I crash

    and burn again.... No medication in almost a week... Oops? I'm not sorry because I'm sick of taking pills to seem alright.. When it's probably masking just as much as I do.. Nobody really seems to see through the mask... I don't think anyone will.. Not until it's too late...
    Catho Catho 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 20

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    Don't you hate when you try to have a

    conversation with yourself and you are told to shut up. :/
    NoOneImportantNow NoOneImportantNow 46-50, M 3 Responses Aug 14, 2014

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    Sometime i feel like i have be in my comfor zone

    for so long that i feel scare or unmotivate to try new things
    Saranoia96 Saranoia96 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 26

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    I'm an extreme over thinker.

    (Call me pretty? I spend legit 2 hours over thinking if u just said that or u meant it) I have a low self confidence. (I really have no reason for it I just do dill with it) I tend to care for other more then myself leaving me at the point where I know nothing about myself (I...
    sixpackbookworm sixpackbookworm 13-15, F 8 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    Frustrating

    i do destructive things to myself all the time. not only do i abuse alcohol and drugs. i smoke, eat horrible foods, and tan. and these are just a few things. on top of all of this, i'm a self mutilator. i'm destroying myself. and right now. nothing of significance has happened...
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F 17 Responses Jul 2, 2007

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    I spend more time worrying about my life

    than doing anything to fix it.
    oceanwalker oceanwalker 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 19, 2014

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    After being in therapy

    for quite some time now, I see that other people think highly of me and I get told that I am cute and adorable. I spend so much time getting ready everyday to make myself look as good as possible and I spend so much time looking in the mirror (not in a conceited way) trying to...
    Missprincessgabby Missprincessgabby 16-17, F 9 Responses Aug 14, 2014

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    Caffeine will be the death of me.

    My heart gets sore and lungs get really sore somtimes, I can barely walk up a hill without being out of breath because of my weak heart. I'm too addicted to stop
    josef2000 josef2000 13-15, M 1 Response a week ago

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    In Neglect, Thank You Robert Frost.

    They leave us to the way we took, as two in whom they were proved mistaken, that we sit sometimes in the wayside nook, with mischievous, vagrant, seraphic look, and try if we cannot feel forsaken.
    SilentBluemoon SilentBluemoon 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 6, 2013

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    I feel guilty for wanting to live my own life

    because I feel like I am hurting the feelings of my family.. I am trapped 😔
    millylibscop millylibscop 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    I continue to realize the choices I make aren't

    the best but I choose with my heart and I don't have regrets. I do wish at times I could make the logical sensible decisions but maybe my life would be boring or maybe I wouldnt be happy. I guess I'll never know. At least I have stories.
    OneStonedGirl OneStonedGirl 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    **** depression! What have you done to me?

    ?? Ill probably always be this way, why you put up with my bullshit amazes me. I'd rather walk away, cause I'm just a ****** up mess, everything I love runs away. I wouldn't want to stay. I hate that I'm this way. I'm selfish stubborn and ungrateful and I'll prob die this way. I...
    brokenteacup2 brokenteacup2 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 2

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    "You" he said "are a terribly real thing in a

    terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why your in so much pain"
    everythingburns everythingburns 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 12, 2014

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    I talk to myself in my head.

    ..daily...it seems like all the time. Most of it is negative crap. How stupid, fat, unloveable, pathetic I am...how I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, good enough, etc. It's tiring. I can't imagine letting another person talk to me like that & putting up with...
    RubyLane RubyLane 41-45, F 4 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    My boyfriend (or ex now I suppose) left me a

    note leaving me during the week. We've had a really difficult weekend - both being petty but he was pretty cruel too. He has rang and apologised, even telling me my life is really good, he just wasn't happy. I've began moving back into my parents but my self esteem is shot. I...
    missdan missdan 22-25, F 4 Responses Aug 4, 2014

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