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I Am My Own Worst Enemy

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,499 People

    I live a double life,

    I go to work in a good office act professional like I have my life together and when I leave I pop a few pills smoke some weed and stay out all night with the man I'm in love with.. We have rough passionate sex unlike anything I have ever experianced and I cover my bruises and...
    katharine8891 katharine8891 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 27

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    My parents say there at the end of there wicket.

    I've put them through enough, but I don't know how to improve because I keep ruining things again. They don't deserve this, I've put them through so much, the guilt in my heart absolutely breaks, they say they don't know what to do, there ashamed, they will hardly speak to me. I...
    wei1ner wei1ner 13-15, F 4 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Sometimes I look at myself

    and think...no wonder no one wants you around...
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have been dealing with the same issue my

    entire life. Every year, for what seems an eternity, I'm making new year resolutions of breaking out of my shell or finally gaining friends. Basically becoming a new person to aid my loneliness... All followed with "lose 20 lbs" to top off my body image problems. Over the years...
    nonisjuice nonisjuice 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I'm engaged to be married to my fiancé

    who I love deeply and dearly. But I am also in love with a friend. I have not cheated on my fiancé but I feel guilty everyday. My friend has told that he is madly in love with me and it breaks his heart to see me with my fiancé. It's strange as Myself and my friend have barely...
    fixme1990 fixme1990 22-25, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    My boyfriend (or ex now I suppose) left me a

    note leaving me during the week. We've had a really difficult weekend - both being petty but he was pretty cruel too. He has rang and apologised, even telling me my life is really good, he just wasn't happy. I've began moving back into my parents but my self esteem is shot. I...
    missdan missdan 22-25, F 4 Responses Aug 4

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    In Neglect, Thank You Robert Frost.

    They leave us to the way we took, as two in whom they were proved mistaken, that we sit sometimes in the wayside nook, with mischievous, vagrant, seraphic look, and try if we cannot feel forsaken.
    SilentBluemoon SilentBluemoon 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 6, 2013

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    Hidden to go unnoticed.

    .. Hurt when no one notices.
    MissWorld33 MissWorld33 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 7

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    I just go back and forth in my head all day.

    I hate myself. Why am I so indecisive? I need to pick who I want to build my life with but they are both so good. I feel terrible everyday. I need to set a date, make up my mind, and start being happy again.
    pink1110 pink1110 22-25, F 6 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I have anxiety bad and agoraphobia.

    My anxiety has caused me to fear being on the highway and being the car so I lay in the back seat with my head covered. I isolated myself from people by staying in the room by myself. I am on many medication for my health. Plan to get on disability for this problem. As time...
    roselani2005 roselani2005 26-30, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I fell in love with my bestfriend.

    . I dated guys while being best friends just to get over him and be able to stay bestfriends... 4years later we hooked up and had sex 3x drunk.... Then he started dating another girl.. I dated another guy but I broke up with the guy because he's really the only thing I think...
    xox1992 xox1992 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I ran at night in the cold

    and didn't feel my legs and I looked up and the sky and I saw the moon and the stars and they were so lovely. I was running why. Just needed to keep running. So long running. So cold. Lonely winter nights.
    shamop shamop 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    The only thing I lied about to my friends is

    that I saw 2 different guys a few times which they didn't approve of. I didn't tell them because I knew they will yell at me. One of the ******** rings my girlfriend up and tells her everything. Now my friends like I am a compulsive liar. Wow. Things seem to escalate quickly.
    Mzwalker Mzwalker 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 19

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    I always carry a blade with me.

    ..I'm always triggered and I get the urge to let it out...
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response a week ago

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    I hate myself so much.

    ..going in public always reminds me of how much I hate myself..urg..
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 3 Responses a week ago

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    So this is my first post

    and i was wondering if anyone else over thinks. Like litcherally about anything green tea, cats, even world domination! But its way worst ill be up all night just thinking and thinking dazzled by my own thoughts of course thats not the problem its the morning when you really see...
    JRH3 JRH3 13-15, M 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Everything I Do Holds Me Down

    Everyone always tells me I am a nice person and everything, but I refuse to believe them, and instead choose to believe that they are just trying to be nice. All the things I tell myself keep me from really doing what I want to do, but I just don't see myself as good enough. Out...
    Distanced Distanced 16-18, M 13 Responses Jan 10, 2007

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    I think way too much.

    Then I rethink about it and .......sigh, wish I could shut my brain off. I always assume things and I shouldn't... Then to top it off I'm extremely impatient.. it is not a good quality in a person :/ Unfortunately it is my nemesis! UGH ... ok now I'll post something positive...
    Alwayswantingmore78 Alwayswantingmore78 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 18

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    I'm not suicidal but I think I beat myself down

    for all the mistakes I've done. For all the things I did and did not do. For what I am and what I am not. I am my own worst enemy and it's hindering my happiness.
    sugarprincess23 sugarprincess23 22-25, F 8 Responses May 30

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    Don't you hate when you try to have a

    conversation with yourself and you are told to shut up. :/
    NoOneImportantNow NoOneImportantNow 46-50, M 3 Responses Aug 14

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    Everything I've done,

    from marching band to grades to Qdoba and relationships I put everything to be good but never pushed myself to be great. I always never really wanted more than what I had. I have no goals or dreams. I'm stuck, I don't know how to grow.
    Mad1428 Mad1428 31-35, M 1 day ago

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    I'm making a lot of bad decisions lately,

    consciously making them. What is my problem? Why do I feel the need to self destruct?
    lilHuman lilHuman 22-25, F 8 Responses a week ago

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    After being in therapy

    for quite some time now, I see that other people think highly of me and I get told that I am cute and adorable. I spend so much time getting ready everyday to make myself look as good as possible and I spend so much time looking in the mirror (not in a conceited way) trying to...
    Missprincessgabby Missprincessgabby 16-17, F 7 Responses Aug 14

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    Sometimes I just wish I was someone completely

    different.... Sometimes I just can't handle it.. :'(
    NessD98 NessD98 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 8

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    Frustrating

    i do destructive things to myself all the time. not only do i abuse alcohol and drugs. i smoke, eat horrible foods, and tan. and these are just a few things. on top of all of this, i'm a self mutilator. i'm destroying myself. and right now. nothing of significance has happened...
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F 17 Responses Jul 2, 2007

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    Without a doubt, I am.

    I know exactly how to stop letting myself get used, it's easy, just don't go out alone to parties where I don't know anyone. If i'm at a party with friends, nothing happens. It's not even that they have to stop anything from happening, I'm simply a different person, I'm always...
    hayliepartychick hayliepartychick 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    sexyhot34 sexyhot34 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    It's completely true - I am my own worst enemy.

    I have never hated anyone as much as I hate myself. There's certain things I do that make me question my own hearts existence. Something has made me who I am today and it's not hard to know what. It's the people who I have let inside. I have built walls around my isolated...
    MsTedious MsTedious 16-17, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I have recently decided to stop being my own

    worst enemy. I have recently decided to try to change things for the better and care more about myself.
    saddeena saddeena 41-45, F 13 Responses May 3

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    Once apon a time I measured every day

    and I stared and stared and stared and no matter how hard I stared it all kept moving and none of it made sense and the things that were supposed to be happy were supposed to happen weren't for me. And it's never really what you thought you wanted you know. Just chasing all the...
    shamop shamop 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    How do I dress like this

    for a costume
    sexyhot34 sexyhot34 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I hate myself. I used to think I was pretty

    but one day I looked in the mirror and started seeing all the things wrong with myself. I hate my face, my body, the way I smile, the sound of my voice, everything that makes me who I am. I don't even want to go outside anymore because I'm scared of what people will think of me...
    melissarobyn melissarobyn 18-21, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with myself.

    I wonder am I going in the right directions? Is there a right direction? Is it even a matter of right or is it just a matter of mind. Does that even make sense? I kno what I want to do but I feel I'm too cowardly to go forward with it. The easy way. Why must it hurt the most?
    gypsisoul gypsisoul 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    I really don't know who I am anymore.

    I know changes in my life need to be made and so desperately want them but always end up finding an excuse or reason not to make them. I convince myself that things are ok for so long and then end up having a really bad night like tonight. I hate me for pitying myself and end up...
    lu3elle79 lu3elle79 31-35, F 16 Responses Aug 2

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    I'm currently thinking about something

    that is over with, I'm just bothered with myself because I'm the one looking like a idiot and it's rather other's choice making skills that led me to feel this way.
    LivingNotRequired LivingNotRequired 18-21, M 1 Response 14 hrs ago

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    I spend more time worrying about my life

    than doing anything to fix it.
    oceanwalker oceanwalker 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 19

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    I think I'm gonna stay home today

    and skip the part where I get ganged up on and beat the **** out of
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Goodbye

    Most people, here on ep wont care about this. But I am typing this just to get it off my chest, anyway. People (my friends, now former coworkers, etc) always love the 'fun' Joey. No one likes the 'sad Joey'. Suffering from depression sucks. Mostly for me because I have to live...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    I hate myself so much.

    ..I wish I would just disappear..never existed...my friends don't like me cause of my depression...my parents shun me for it...I'm done
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 4 Responses Aug 19

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    I hate myself.. I hate the way I look.

    My weight. What's in my pants. That I have to wear a binder to even feel remotely comfortable. I hate my voice. I don't think I've ever loved myself tho..
    kadenlee kadenlee 13-15, T 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    flyyhigh21 flyyhigh21 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 14

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    "Choose your battles wisely,

    for no battle is worth sacrificing your soul" The greatest battles fought are fought from within. When or why I decided to go to war with myself I have often thought about it. I have become my own worse enemy, the path of self destruction in this endless war with myself has...
    Jay04Sch Jay04Sch 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    So I'm 14 and I'm an extremely anxious person

    who overthinks everything. I never really thought much about how self destructive I am (physically&mentally) but recently I realized that its no way to live and I need to stop. I just don't feel happy about myself at all. Body, talents (none), etc. trying to get out of this rut...
    livyroro livyroro 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 19

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    But It's Actually Quite A Positive Thing

    I actually get along great with myself. There's still a little subconscious clutter in there waiting to be burned through, but on the whole my brain is pretty cooperative. No thing and no person out there has the power to eff with my like my own brain can. Natural or...
    slow4speed slow4speed 22-25, F 4 Responses May 24, 2012

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    I feel so worthless and ugly.

    I am used to feeling that way because I always tell myself things like that and I've also been told things like that at school a few years back, but I'm trying to become a more confident and social person this year and say positive things about myself. But today just made me...
    invisiblegirl1998 invisiblegirl1998 13-15, F 3 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Why do I get anxious

    when all that's important to my 31 year old son is trying to get his dad approval, acceptance? He's a grown man who's married and just had a son. Do these issues or feelings go away? People say he's a grown man but it doesn't change the feelings of this mother ! His father and I...
    123relax 123relax 46-50, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I'm constantly finding all my flaws

    and hating myself more and more, I can't keep a relationship because I'm not the best looking, or strongest or the tallest. It's making my self hatred worse and worse to know that girls doesn't only think the things I do but uses them as reasons to not be with me
    suicideDepression suicideDepression 13-15, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Overthinking, moodiness,

    laziness, procrastination, caring too much about what others may thing, difficulty to say no...these are my enemies in life.
    Danceofhours Danceofhours 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 30

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    It is difficult for me to have meaningful

    friendships... I kinda like a lot to be alone but then I find that my relationships with others decay easily. I have my two circle of friends but in none of them I feel completely part of. In college I know a lot of people and do all kinds of works with them...but when the...
    Hoenncreek Hoenncreek 22-25, M 2 Responses Aug 16

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    austintsnelson austintsnelson 13-15, M 2 Responses Aug 4

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    I need someone to talk to

    so bad. I ruin everything I touch and every friend I ever had left me because I'm such a mess. I'm so alone please help if you can.
    ambernolastname ambernolastname 13-15, F 8 Responses Jul 31

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    I constantly judge myself.

    Those shorts are too short, look at your thunder thighs? You can clearly see your fat belly in that shirt, eww, change. Why does my hair never cooperate? **** it, ponytail it is. Don't wear that tank top bc you can see your fat arms. This is me every day. I judge myself by my...
    breeze90 breeze90 22-25, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    I hate when I put myself down.

    ..I really do. But I just do. I feel so worthless and alone sometimes I want to just run away from it all. I've been depressed for 3 years..since my dad died when I was 14, and I just can't get happy anymore, no matter how hard I try nothing helps.
    500years 500years 16-17, F 10 Responses 3 days ago

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