But given a lifetime of shut up and take it it's easier said than done.
I have keep how stressed and depressed I am a secret so long, that no one in my life really sees how past the breaking point I am
(Call me pretty? I spend legit 2 hours over thinking if u just said that or u meant it)
I have a low self confidence. (I really have no reason for it I just do dill with it)
I tend to care for other more then myself leaving me at the point where I know nothing about myself (I...
I know changes in my life need to be made and so desperately want them but always end up finding an excuse or reason not to make them. I convince myself that things are ok for so long and then end up having a really bad night like tonight. I hate me for pitying myself and end up...
I am using crystal meth, I have a eating disorder BUT I don't think that it is from my meth use.. -I have struggled with myself (body image wise) for a long time now-
And I don't care if it kills me, I'm ready to die.
I have nothing left.
Nothing worth living for.
I started to unfortunately realized how complex and emotionally damaged I am.. Why is it that at the peak of disappointments, I push people away? Letting my emotions get the best of me.. I just want to know myself again. I want to be strong for myself, knowing that every aspect...
They were joking around with each other and directing their jokes at me. I kept saying in my head that I should stop them and stand up for myself. But I just couldn't. I don't know what I was afraid of. I sure am my own worst enemy.
for quite some time now, I see that other people think highly of me and I get told that I am cute and adorable. I spend so much time getting ready everyday to make myself look as good as possible and I spend so much time looking in the mirror (not in a conceited way) trying to...
Most people, here on ep wont care about this. But I am typing this just to get it off my chest, anyway.
People (my friends, now former coworkers, etc) always love the 'fun' Joey. No one likes the 'sad Joey'. Suffering from depression sucks. Mostly for me because I have to live...
because of a final exam I took today, and it was so long and I finished in the exact time, and I realized that the last item was wrong and I can't stop thinking about what I could have done to make it right
I just don't know why I have to cry because of this, I don't know why I...
and blame myself for it happening. All I can do is sit here and cry, hoping that I can get through life a day at a time. I thought I was done with the healing process, but I guess not. It's a daily battle for me and makes me so anxious but nobody understands:(
I really am having a hard time trying to grasp my life that I've lost the past years attempting to be what I was just a little ago. I know now that I will never be the girl I was. I will. Continue to be the lonely anorexic heartbroken girl, who is lost with life
that holds me back from accomplishing a lot of things. I have a supportive family, a loving partner, caring friends and great opportunities. I'm just too much of a coward to accept myself and let myself live without being so worried of insignificant things. It ****** me off. I...
move to Spain with his parents, because I loved him so much, we agreed to stay in contact, we have spoken every day since he left a month ago, but about a week ago, the verbal abuse started again over texts, emails etc. I know the simple answer is to block him, I do, but then I...
reason to die
i cannot smile back again
but i cannot find the real pain
the pain that changed the air
the pain that seemed not fair
hard enough to break one or two
but i cant find what broke or who
what is life? asked the death
its what that comes before you
its the rule you...
I write things, and take care about how I write, what I write, which words I use, but the censors still don't accept it!
I wasn't aware that they had amended the right to self determination in America, it's nod reason why this kind of site is so appealing.
Perhaps I should...
standing or in front of me, and their all blocking me to things I want in life.
And because it's me, I should be able to move them out of the way right? But I can't.
I don't know how to move stuff out of my life that I'v put here.
It drives me crazy, cause it's nobody else...
If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself and others, you may find the happiness that has always eluded you"
- Lisa Kleypas , Love in the Afternoon
I have to learn to remove all these negative thoughts in my head... And apply this quote more to my...
thinking. And usually it's extremely unexpected. I'll be having a decent day, but then something totally minor and not really a big deal at all happens and I get so down on myself. It's awful because I know I need to relax and brush it off but my mind won't stop. I viciously...
We critic first.
But we is worse on us.
Until we learn them is wrong.
We are awesome.
They categorize for profit.
We love despite profit.
We is better than them.
And help more if we care to.
Hope this helps.
i do destructive things to myself all the time. not only do i abuse alcohol and drugs. i smoke, eat horrible foods, and tan. and these are just a few things. on top of all of this, i'm a self mutilator. i'm destroying myself. and right now. nothing of significance has happened...
every time something positive happens in my life. To stop saying why and start saying why not! Stop over thinking situations. I mentally complicate everything. I am way too hyper sensitive. I can get way to high when things are good and just totally hit bottom if something...
afraid i can't even see
tired of myself of saying anything
maybe talks not enough but i can't sing
i don't know why i keep doing it
its just more pain within a deep pit
i carry a load alone no one understands
i just wish i lived on my own lands
a dream filled with beauty...
..daily...it seems like all the time. Most of it is negative crap. How stupid, fat, unloveable, pathetic I am...how I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, good enough, etc. It's tiring. I can't imagine letting another person talk to me like that & putting up with...
I know exactly how to stop letting myself get used, it's easy, just don't go out alone to parties where I don't know anyone. If i'm at a party with friends, nothing happens. It's not even that they have to stop anything from happening, I'm simply a different person, I'm always...
I wasn't home most of the day. We had dinner and the one game was over. He got up and left the room. My daughter and I changed the channel to look for something to watch, he came out and said "no..." Took the remote and put another game on. So I went upstairs to do some art. 10...