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I Am Newly Separated

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,437 People

    Hi there. I'm just separated 2 months.

    I was the one to end it after years of staying for the kids. The guilt is overwhelming. My ex is desperate to win me back and it makes the guilt worse. I'm afraid I will cave under his pressure & go back to my unfulfilling marriage. Rather torn at the moment. Eva
    eva19091 eva19091 51-55, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Tonight I filled out the financial declaration

    for our temporary hearing scheduled for next week. It amazes me how 28 years together can be broken down into mere figures on a page.
    BeachGypsy BeachGypsy 46-50, F 5 Responses Jun 30

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    My wife called me while I was away on travel

    for work because she wants me to move out. Things have been bad the last couple of years. There were faults on both sides, but no infidelity or beating or hiding money. My wife simply told me she shouldn't have said yes 17 years ago. I had gained weight. I have sleep apnea...
    barsalas barsalas 46-50, M 5 Responses Jun 1

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    I Left My Wife For A Woman I Love

    What's so wrong with that? Honestly, I understand the meaning of marraige but when it comes down to it, do you go through life as a zombie, staying with someone because you're comfortable, or do you make a move that makes both you and potentially your wife a lot happier on the...
    youareasoulyouhaveabody youareasoulyouhaveabody 26-30, M 8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    should i live with her

    after our horrid breakup.
    dreamin20 dreamin20 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 10

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    Much Better Now...

    It's been a while since my last post. My wife (er ex?) and I have been ignoring the whole divorce scenario, we both know it is going to happen. As of now, being separated is the BEST thing she and I have agreed on. So nice to come home (to my apartment) stress-free, no worries...
    xjoseph xjoseph 31-35, M 8 Responses May 23, 2012

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    Iam newly separated, she is in the same college

    and we have the same friends, we are in a vacation but i dont know what iam gonna feel when i see her again, i dun wanna see her
    wilson015 wilson015 18-21, M Jul 22

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    this pain is so intense.

    letting my family go. knowing that I will never do right by her even though I have tried and even though I do love her so much. I continue to mistreat her. this will never change, even though she says she will wait forever for me. I cannot hijack her life like that. I miss my...
    thykstyk thykstyk 31-35, M 6 Responses Jun 16

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    My wife and I decided to separate in February.

    We still live in the same house because it is big enough. My wife has told me I am free to see someone else, and I have said the same to her. So far neither of us have. We still eat meals together, for our son's sake. For the same reason we all sit and watch television together...
    Dunnitagain Dunnitagain 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 14

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    it's been 6 months and I'm devastated.

    together 8 years and just bought a house then I get kicked out and wasn't sure why. come to find out it was another guy. I put so much into our relationship and building our life together. now she has house, new guy lives there with my daughter, now I only get my daughter on...
    needbetter needbetter 31-35, M 5 Responses Jun 17

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    Recently celebrated 15 years of marriage

    and followed up by a legal separation. We have 3 kids and have been together since I was 17 years old. I'm not sure where to go from here. Any advice on coming up with a separation agreement?
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 8

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    Sorry it is so around the place

    but I needed to vent a little SO about 3 weeks ago my fiance and I broke up. Reasons behind it she said that I was immature, financially unstable, and a brick wall to talk to I always tried to talk to her regardless of if I really wanted to or not. I gave her money when I had...
    dreamin20 dreamin20 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 1

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    Recently Seperated

    I have been with my husband since I was 18, together for 20years. He had an affair last year, but we worked through it, he promised never to hurt me like that again, so many promises made, recently found out he is still cheating with the same woman. He had stopped but started...
    Eeyore76 Eeyore76 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2013

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    'He Cheated, So Why Do I Feel Guilty?' Update

    Nearly six months now since separating after 24 years. After the initial feeling of devastation, I felt a sense of calm and happiness and wondered if that was just a phase, like some sort of mental coping mechanism. Well, I still feel genuinely happier! I think after so long...
    anewlifealone anewlifealone 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 26, 2013

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    I am newly separated

    and have 2 children. My daughter is 14 and is doing fine with the separation. My son is 12 and is not fine. Right now I just left my place to take a walk after my son does his best to be so fresh and talk back. We have a 9 month old puppy who can be nippy he gets do angry when...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    She Destroyed My Soul

    It's been about 45 hours since I found out. Exactly 4 days since the fuse was lit to the end of my life, as I know it. And now, I am newly, involuntarily, separated. Homeless, family-less, just less. The best years of my life are gone. I can't get those back to spend with...
    phatdog phatdog 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 14, 2011

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    FEELING LIKE A FOOL My husband of five

    and a half years recently told me he want to separate, this caught me totally by surprise. iv given my all to this marriage. I've given my love, time, finances and heart to him and his family only to be left feeling like a fool. Maybe I could understand if we weren't getting...
    dmoralesbaez dmoralesbaez 51-55 1 Response Jun 21

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    So today was the first day in accepting the

    change in my life. It's not something I have control over but I have the control from here on out! I don't have much social life and that's gonna take some time to fix. But the friends I do have are there for me. New stage in life.
    seanv14 seanv14 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 7, 2014

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    My husband and I have been married almost 12

    years and have 3 amazing boys. We've had all the same problems our entire marriage. Mine include social anxiety, being a terrible housekeeper, avoiding confrontation, and being passive aggressive at times. His issues are having a bad temper, being negative, being completely...
    jennylynne jennylynne 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 6

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    I am newly separated

    because i filed for divorce earlier this year. My soon to be ex and I agreed to the separation and subsequent divorce because of several differences beyond repair in our lives and marriage.
    familybeachparty familybeachparty 41-45, F 4 Responses Jun 27

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    The most important thing I have learned from my

    long term relationship....This goes for anyone, relationship or not. ....if you're trying to make someone happy, set a limit and don't cheat yourself. We all want to hear our lovers say they'd do anything for us....it makes you feel safe, naturally as comfort overcomes us, we...
    BillyLovette BillyLovette 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 15

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    my husband has decided

    after being together for 18 years he no longer loves me a total bolt out of the blue. how do you cope!!
    wanzo2002 wanzo2002 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 8

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    I'm 17 years old . I have a one year old baby .

    My boyfriend of 4 years and I have just recently broke up. I feel so alone and unwanted . He has told me horrible things . But yet I still love him . I need help. Or motivation in life Bc I don't know where I'll end .
    jackiebustillo jackiebustillo 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 28

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    Newly Separated

    Im newly separated from my wife of 4 years and not by choice. I got into a car accident and she kept the insurance money. She left me to struggle to pay for school on my own without even a way to my job. All because I told her 6 months ago that i was sick of our life and wanted...
    LoneAlpha LoneAlpha 26-30, M 32 Responses Jul 1, 2012

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    Everything is so hard now.

    I miss her. I need someone i feel so alone. I'm scared and I don't know what to do what if she was the one and I lost her forever?
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jun 16

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    Update after last night assault.

    Police have been fab. Still not sure if there's a case but giving a detailed statement ( took 6hrs) made me see my life through others eyes. Also they were able to challenge a lot if what he's told me for year. I've realised several things today; I am a victim of domestic...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 9, 2014

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    After an 8 year relationship

    and marriage with an alcoholic I have finally decided to move on. The freedom I feel is indescribable! There will definitely be an adjustment period for our two children...but I can be happy knowing that this is ultimately the best decision for all of us. Feeling free and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 11 Responses Apr 13

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    Between the drinking

    and drug use on his part, the constant neglect and then finally the cheating, it was time I kicked him out of the house. It wasn't good for me or our son. I miss him a lot to be quite honest, but I know it was the right decision.
    HalesBells91 HalesBells91 22-25 1 Response Dec 9, 2014

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    It's been on the cards

    for a long time, we married young, had lots of ups & downs over the years, but we stayed together, for us for our children because we didn't want to give up. Neither of us have been happy for a while but I put this down to his mid-life crisis' (he's had a few) Anyway I caught...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 15

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    I'm single and I'm happy .

    .... I do not want my ex back... at all!!!
    Serenita Serenita 41-45, F 6 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    He was charged! I am

    so shocked. If you've read my posts you'll no my police officer husband assaulted me in February and my daughter saw. That was the last straw and I asked him to leave. Since I've done everything to beg him to give us another chance to the point where him going put on a date with...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 27, 2014

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    my wife of 16 years said she wanted a divorce.

    this was 8 months ago. we have three kids (7, 10, and 12). we are still in the same house but in separate bed rooms. no matter what I do she refuses to try to work on our relationship. my heart is broken. I was not the husband that I should have been. I was a good provider but...
    tkdmm tkdmm 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 6

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    I love being watched

    when I **********
    mattyn mattyn 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 22

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    I have learned through the years,

    that life is too short to stay in a marriage that is unhealthy. First one, I was with a mental controller. Second one I have just left was with a person who has depression and anxiety. For four years, the meds were not being taken and the struggle of living with a person...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jun 27

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    I've been separated for almost 4 months now.

    I never saw it coming. It was the shock of a lifetime, a cruel surprise. I thought everything was fine. Just two days before he left, I remember thinking I'd never been happier. Blindsided. Devastated. Crushed. Betrayed. Humiliated. Broken. The range of emotions I've...
    Ticia Ticia 26-30, F 1 Response May 21

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    Flip flopping... After our long talk over the

    weekend. He's texting me from work and trying to get me to sleep in the bed with him again. I feel like I need to hurt him over and over to get him to see, what we both already agreed on. This is so, very hard. Roller coaster of a marriage for years and now a roller coaster of...
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 10, 2014

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    I am so beside myself.

    Right now. It took me an hour to get dressed this morning. I was crying so hard. I don't know how I am going to get through another day without the only person that I have ever loved. I just do not understand what I did so horrible to deserve to hurt so damn bad. I've been...
    a11wayson a11wayson 41-45, F 5 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    how can she leave me

    and go be with a married man
    dreamin20 dreamin20 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 10

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    Quotes That Help Me To Move On...

    It's not what you go through that defines you; you can't always help that. It's what you do AFTER you've gone through it that really tests who you are. Kwame Floyd
    erfra7 erfra7 46-50, M Sep 7, 2013

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    Ok so here it is, 2 weeks

    before Christmas my wife tells me she wants a divorce. Wow I am 25, 3 beautiful children and I'm getting divorced. I don't even know what to say or think. I tried to talk sense into her but she doesn't want to hear a word of it. Since then I have seen her maybe 2 or 3 times when...
    Kwreka89 Kwreka89 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    dunfermliner dunfermliner 36-40, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    foresttrail foresttrail 41-45, M 1 Response Jun 16

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    my wife left me I dnt no

    if we getting back together
    wonderwoman562 wonderwoman562 36-40, F Jul 22

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    After weeks of talking

    and not getting to the main issue as to why our marriage failed. Yesterday, we finally spoke really spoke. It was painful hearing that your not loved and haven't been for a long time. That all that time you had spent making things right was a waste. That your only really thought...
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    I Am 34 Years Old And Single Again After Being Married For 8 Years...

    this sounds odd... I often feel lost because now I am on my own, as before I was used to do "couples stuff". I find myself alone and not sure sometimes, we never had kids and for that I am thankful... I have already a history posted in the affair section here in the E.P which...
    devilwife devilwife 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 26, 2012

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    Why Did I Get Married On My Birthday ! Lol

    I am hittin 37 today and today would have also been my 13 year anniversary. This is my first anniversary without her and its been tough. Honestly I am looking forward to the day ending and trying to get back to normal. I just pray for strength, courage, and hope. Best of luck to...
    Sodapopcur Sodapopcur 36-40, M 3 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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