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I Am Newly Separated

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,099 People

    Husband moved out 4 weeks ago

    after he decided he did not want to stop affair. I found out the affair had been going on for only 3 months. He's told me he hasn't been happy in the marriage for a year! I feel deceived and blindsided.
    timl1224 timl1224 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 19

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    Numb!

    I just recently moved out and separated from my husband of 25 years. It's not the first time but hopefully the last. I just learned that I have been emotionally abused from a passive-aggressive husband. For years, since the beginning, there has been issues between us. I've...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Aug 14, 2012

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    Emotional Roller Coaster - Pulled & Pushed

    After just over 5 months of separation, I still find myself at times in deep despair - looking for a way to purge the pain from within. Tears that pour down my face during those times seem to help rid some of the paralyzing pain. I feel better for a moment, a day or even...
    Passionateheartman Passionateheartman 46-50, M 11 Responses Mar 27, 2012

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    Update after last night assault.

    Police have been fab. Still not sure if there's a case but giving a detailed statement ( took 6hrs) made me see my life through others eyes. Also they were able to challenge a lot if what he's told me for year. I've realised several things today; I am a victim of domestic...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    Newly Separated

    Im newly separated from my wife of 4 years and not by choice. I got into a car accident and she kept the insurance money. She left me to struggle to pay for school on my own without even a way to my job. All because I told her 6 months ago that i was sick of our life and wanted...
    LoneAlpha LoneAlpha 26-30, M 35 Responses Jul 1, 2012

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    Flip flopping... After our long talk over the

    weekend. He's texting me from work and trying to get me to sleep in the bed with him again. I feel like I need to hurt him over and over to get him to see, what we both already agreed on. This is so, very hard. Roller coaster of a marriage for years and now a roller coaster of...
    NothinginmyWAY NothinginmyWAY 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 10

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    Currently separated from my husband right

    now it doesn't look like we will try to work it out. My question is should I move on?
    BrittTHart BrittTHart 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 17

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    You may or may not have known

    that last night was the Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse. It started at 1:48 am and lasted until 3:00 am. I watched the moon shadow over by the earth and slowly turn a deep orange. It was beautiful. I starred out the kitchen while occasionally glancing over at you sleeping. I wanted...
    angiede angiede 26-30, F Apr 15

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    A Long Sad Drive...

    I had an opportunity this weekend to go back to our house to get a few more of my things and pick up my boys for a few hours. I never knew how hard it was going to be. It's a 3 hour drive from where i'm staying now to get to the home my children and my ex lives in. That's a long...
    lonelyonthemountain lonelyonthemountain 41-45, M 6 Responses Jan 14, 2013

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    Another night alone. Wish somehow this would

    end! What does she want, What do I do? And why do I care so much since she walked out on me?
    mark664 mark664 46-50, M 2 Responses Apr 13

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    I got so mad at my soon to be ex

    that I wanted to cause harm to him. I need space to think my thoughts out.
    BrittTHart BrittTHart 26-30, F Apr 19

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    Why Did I Get Married On My Birthday ! Lol

    I am hittin 37 today and today would have also been my 13 year anniversary. This is my first anniversary without her and its been tough. Honestly I am looking forward to the day ending and trying to get back to normal. I just pray for strength, courage, and hope. Best of luck to...
    Sodapopcur Sodapopcur 36-40, M 4 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    Much Better Now...

    It's been a while since my last post. My wife (er ex?) and I have been ignoring the whole divorce scenario, we both know it is going to happen. As of now, being separated is the BEST thing she and I have agreed on. So nice to come home (to my apartment) stress-free, no worries...
    xjoseph xjoseph 31-35, M 7 Responses May 23, 2012

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    It's been a week.... We are sleeping separate.

    And are trying to be friends. He has joined Plenty of Fish already. And is seeking a relationship. He gave me his username. I'm not surprised. At least the fighting has toned down. It's just getting used to living together as parents and roomates. Even though it's something we...
    NothinginmyWAY NothinginmyWAY 31-35, F 5 Responses Jun 14

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    sunbaby sunbaby 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 8, 2013

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    Another days grace. He's still not been

    charged. It's been nearly as week now so something's Gota be causing them to look into things hard. I expected with little evidence and his word against mine that it'd be thrown out quickly Domestic violence cases are hard at the best of times. But it means that the bail...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 14

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    Angry, Hurt And Scared

    A month and a half ago my husband of 21 years told me that he would rather be with someone else. The person he was choosing to leave me for was I thought a friend of mine(you never really know who your friends are). I was devastated when he told me, I felt like my whole world had...
    tsparkes tsparkes 41-45, F 10 Responses Apr 23, 2012

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    Life On My Own Terms

    In the end, he found out before I could tell him I was leaving.  Actually, that is a much better way - clean, smooth and quiet.  No crying, no emotions.  He called from work and said that he had been reading my EP stories.  He got in through a mutual friend...
    gdgtgrl gdgtgrl 41-45, F 11 Responses Sep 1, 2008

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    Quotes That Help Me To Move On...

    It's not what you go through that defines you; you can't always help that. It's what you do AFTER you've gone through it that really tests who you are. Kwame Floyd
    erfra7 erfra7 46-50, M Sep 7, 2013

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    Well, I am on my own.

    Found a place to rent. My husband has been making me feel guilty by asking me why I am punishing him and that I have no reason to do this. So, that makes me feel like he really doesn't understand the changes that need to be made. I tell him that I don't want to feel...
    iheartmybabies iheartmybabies 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 14

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    Not Sure...

    I spoke to a clergy member who said if perhaps I journaled that it would be helpful to me... being a guy to start off with talking about feelings is difficult... this is somewhat an extension to the original idea - perhaps something I say will have meaning for another person...
    Liminalghost Liminalghost 36-40, M 11 Responses May 23, 2010

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    We've separated but still live together.

    We are attempting to work it out but its so difficult. When I'm relaxed and happy he treats me with so much love, but if I sink into analyzing and sinking into depression he pulls away and starts talking about leaving and me finding someone else.. he says he still loves me but...
    witchweaver witchweaver 36-40, F 2 Responses May 16

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    After 14 years of marriage my wife asked me to

    leave. Rightly so and I don't blame her. I cheated on her in the last couple of yeas. This all happened while in the last 4 years. I was mis diagnosed with bipolar and used some pretty heavy meds. May have had an influence. Maybe not. The fact is she tied for a long time to keep...
    defer130 defer130 31-35, M 1 Response Jun 28

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    I Didn't Want Him to Leave, Just to Love Me

    I know this is going to come off as "needy" or emotionally troubled, and maybe I am, but when my husband of 10 years left 3 weeks ago after a minor disagreement (not even a fight!) and didn't call of take my calls for two days, I was devastated. I think that's what he...
    sagegirl sagegirl 36-40, F 30 Responses Sep 12, 2008

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    I am so beside myself.

    Right now. It took me an hour to get dressed this morning. I was crying so hard. I don't know how I am going to get through another day without the only person that I have ever loved. I just do not understand what I did so horrible to deserve to hurt so damn bad. I've been...
    a11wayson a11wayson 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 11

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    I have been married for 13 years

    but with my wife for 16 years we have a beautiful six-year-old daughter that just started kindergarten and my wife just moved out of our home. I have never experienced such a loss or hurt like this and have sought help and knowledge from many sources to try and stay strong for...
    jonmadf jonmadf 36-40, M 11 Responses Mar 8

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    We had our first counseling session.

    I definitely figured out I have built a big, thick emotional wall that is keeping me at arms length from my husband. I don't trust him with my heart. I know this is something I have to work on but how???
    iheartmybabies iheartmybabies 36-40, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    When my friends start talking about their wives

    I die inside....I miss my wife...
    wiseprotector wiseprotector 41-45, M 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    After weeks of talking

    and not getting to the main issue as to why our marriage failed. Yesterday, we finally spoke really spoke. It was painful hearing that your not loved and haven't been for a long time. That all that time you had spent making things right was a waste. That your only really thought...
    NothinginmyWAY NothinginmyWAY 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 8

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    I just got out of a 3yr long relationship

    who I have one kid with. She cheated on my more then once and I wish I could have nothing to due with her but I have a kid. I love my son so much and I want to be there for him and I don't really know how to do that without being tied to my x.
    DerrickH87 DerrickH87 26-30, M Apr 27

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    She Destroyed My Soul

    It's been about 45 hours since I found out. Exactly 4 days since the fuse was lit to the end of my life, as I know it. And now, I am newly, involuntarily, separated. Homeless, family-less, just less. The best years of my life are gone. I can't get those back to spend with...
    phatdog phatdog 36-40, M 2 Responses Dec 14, 2011

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    I am going through hell.

    My ex was taken away to the police for domestic abuse.I had 7 years of it.He was so controlling and manipulative. After time in jail and on bail he was found not guilty.I cannot blame police for not doing it the job properly, but thats what happend in my case. My ex partner had...
    sunshone sunshone 26-30, F 2 Responses May 18

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    I Am 34 Years Old And Single Again After Being Married For 8 Years...

    this sounds odd... I often feel lost because now I am on my own, as before I was used to do "couples stuff". I find myself alone and not sure sometimes, we never had kids and for that I am thankful... I have already a history posted in the affair section here in the E.P which...
    devilwife devilwife 31-35, F 11 Responses Nov 26, 2012

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    My story is like others

    but its my story and it feels like it is all I left now. I am probably the most sad I have ever been in my life. I met my husband when I was 14 years old, he was not of any interest to me, however our lives crossed paths numerous times. I new something was so different about him...
    abandoned1973 abandoned1973 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 30

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    Right Decision

    For 6 years of my 8 year marriage I have been uneasy about who my husband really was. Knowing down deep that something just wasn't right. FINALLY all the questions I had to ask him were answered and the truth was finally known. A recent affair and inappropriate behaviors...
    broken131 broken131 41-45, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2012

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    Recently Seperated

    I have been with my husband since I was 18, together for 20years. He had an affair last year, but we worked through it, he promised never to hurt me like that again, so many promises made, recently found out he is still cheating with the same woman. He had stopped but started...
    Eeyore76 Eeyore76 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2013

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    'He Cheated, So Why Do I Feel Guilty?' Update

    Nearly six months now since separating after 24 years. After the initial feeling of devastation, I felt a sense of calm and happiness and wondered if that was just a phase, like some sort of mental coping mechanism. Well, I still feel genuinely happier! I think after so long...
    anewlifealone anewlifealone 41-45, F 4 Responses Aug 26, 2013

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    Alone But Happy

    Alone but happy is the only way I can describe how I feel. Even though there are many emotions that run through my mind. I know i've done the right thing. I've been living in an unhealthy marriage that just wore me down and took away who I am and I let it happen for so long. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Nov 27, 2012

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    I just caught my husband having an emotional

    affair (I can't prove physical). And he left. This is the third time in our 14 year marriage that this has happened but this time it feels very different. I take him back because he is an alcoholic and bipolar so I know that this cheating and insatiable need for more of...
    a11wayson a11wayson 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 10

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    Final update to this group

    as I do not feel newly separated. I am separated wanting a divorce. I've posted my story in here so it's only fair I finish the tale of my escape from my marriage and domestic abuse. My husband has now been on trail for assaulting me in April. Thanks to EP and some...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    I am recently separated from my wife of 10years,

    together for 18 I have been very unhappy for the last 5 years but didn't have the confidence or the finances to leave. Now I have done so I feel so live and I am so happy but guilt ridden my son doesn't want to speak to me even though I explained it is nothing to do with him. Am...
    earleyb earleyb 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 27

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    Weepy- that's how I can best describe the last

    four days. After ten years of a very complicated and tumultuous marriage, my husband and I are taking the first steps to separate. We have two small children also, and my husband is from the states whereas I am from Canada (where we have been living). I'm so sensitive and...
    leebersnowy leebersnowy 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 27

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    Just an update because I'm sad.

    Nothing's changed for me. Ex still on bail. We're still living like prisoners in our house safe he can't come to the street. I'm on edge waiting for police to call and tell me if charges are being pressed - they won't be as dv cases rarely are and I have no marks on me as usual...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 18

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    I Left My Wife For A Woman I Love

    What's so wrong with that? Honestly, I understand the meaning of marraige but when it comes down to it, do you go through life as a zombie, staying with someone because you're comfortable, or do you make a move that makes both you and potentially your wife a lot happier on the...
    youareasoulyouhaveabody youareasoulyouhaveabody 26-30, M 8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    My husband and I just separated 1 1/2 weeks ago.

    I am devastated. We have an 11 month old child at home and I just found out that I am very newly pregnant. I feel abandoned and alone. He has been extremely cold to me right now, and I am trying desperately to figure out why. I know he has some issues that he is battling...
    itsallgood803 itsallgood803 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 2

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    Happy Easter. Very weak today.

    Ex hadn't tried to let the girls no he cares n leave eggs in porch or card through door. I no he restricted by bail conditions but there's ways if showing you care without breaking the bail. My daughters godmother n wife to ex's best mate came over today. She made a real...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 31-35, F Apr 20

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    We have agreed to counseling,

    we start this week. I am eager to go but have to admit that I am scared. Scared to let him back in just when I am feeling some self confidence and independence, scared that things will change for awhile then go back, scared I will get hurt all over again, scared that I will...
    iheartmybabies iheartmybabies 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 20

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    Its only a week since I posted

    but it's been a big week. Girls went back to school on monday. And my ex was charged with common assault to me and I've been told he's suspended from work. It should have been a calmer week with just the application for residency of my daughters to prepare for court...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 31-35, F 4 Responses May 3

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    well here i sit in bed.

    ... feeling sad again.... seems to be my only feeling other then anger these days.... almost 4 yrs from the day i met and fell in love with who i thought i would spend the rest of my life with.....we have been legally separated for 6wks, and living separately for 3 months...
    ernurse99 ernurse99 26-30 1 Response May 1

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    I am recently separated from my husband of

    almost 16 years. Not by my choice. The last 3 years have been difficult. My husband works away from home and the time in between has become longer and longer. Last year we spent 15 days together. In April he contacted an attorney and told me"I love you, but I'm not in love...
    cjanisch70 cjanisch70 41-45, F 6 days ago

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    How Can I Be Me Again?

    My husband of 11 years told me yesterday that "it wasn't there for him anymore".  He had been lying to me for months and had now found someone new that made him happy.  We were married at 20 which is young I know but I always felt it was the real thing. ...
    crushed2009 crushed2009 31-35 7 Responses May 24, 2009

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    I wish I can turn back the hands of time.

    I don't to get a divorce I wish my husband would fight for my marriage like I am. Our problem is communication we didn't and still don't know how to talk to each other. I know one thing I want to keep family together.
    BrittTHart BrittTHart 26-30, F 4 Responses Apr 16

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    He was charged! I am

    so shocked. If you've read my posts you'll no my police officer husband assaulted me in February and my daughter saw. That was the last straw and I asked him to leave. Since I've done everything to beg him to give us another chance to the point where him going put on a date with...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 27

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