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I Am Newly Separated

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,656 People

    I have decided to separate from my wife of 5

    years. We have had our share of problems and things just have become too much for me. We have been going to marriage counseling to help work through our issues and were making some headway. She wanted to get a job that would be less hours and stress so there would be more time...
    luckyone1979 luckyone1979 36-40, M 2 Responses Feb 14

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    I Didn't Want Him to Leave, Just to Love Me

    I know this is going to come off as "needy" or emotionally troubled, and maybe I am, but when my husband of 10 years left 3 weeks ago after a minor disagreement (not even a fight!) and didn't call of take my calls for two days, I was devastated. I think that's what he...
    sagegirl sagegirl 36-40, F 31 Responses Sep 12, 2008

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    Not Sure...

    I spoke to a clergy member who said if perhaps I journaled that it would be helpful to me... being a guy to start off with talking about feelings is difficult... this is somewhat an extension to the original idea - perhaps something I say will have meaning for another person...
    Liminalghost Liminalghost 36-40, M 11 Responses May 23, 2010

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    How Can I Be Me Again?

    My husband of 11 years told me yesterday that "it wasn't there for him anymore".  He had been lying to me for months and had now found someone new that made him happy.  We were married at 20 which is young I know but I always felt it was the real thing. ...
    crushed2009 crushed2009 31-35 7 Responses May 24, 2009

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    Life. It happens. And

    while we're fussing over the meaningless stuff, the real stuff is passing us by!!!
    justanotherbloke justanotherbloke 36-40, M 1 Response Nov 16, 2014

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    I Left My Wife For A Woman I Love

    What's so wrong with that? Honestly, I understand the meaning of marraige but when it comes down to it, do you go through life as a zombie, staying with someone because you're comfortable, or do you make a move that makes both you and potentially your wife a lot happier on the...
    youareasoulyouhaveabody youareasoulyouhaveabody 26-30, M 8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    Life On My Own Terms

    In the end, he found out before I could tell him I was leaving.  Actually, that is a much better way - clean, smooth and quiet.  No crying, no emotions.  He called from work and said that he had been reading my EP stories.  He got in through a mutual friend...
    gdgtgrl gdgtgrl 41-45, F 10 Responses Sep 1, 2008

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    I'm single and I'm happy .

    .... I do not want my ex back... at all!!!
    Serenita Serenita 41-45, F 6 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    It seemed to happen so suddenly.

    But I guess I was in denial for the past couple of years. I was hoping that things would work themselves out and we would be back to being a happy couple and family. I want to think that there's still a chance to make it work. But she seems to have moved on.
    scrubbe scrubbe 31-35, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    'He Cheated, So Why Do I Feel Guilty?' Update

    Nearly six months now since separating after 24 years. After the initial feeling of devastation, I felt a sense of calm and happiness and wondered if that was just a phase, like some sort of mental coping mechanism. Well, I still feel genuinely happier! I think after so long...
    anewlifealone anewlifealone 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 26, 2013

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    After two years of being separated,

    I finally got my divorce papers this week and I don't know how I feel about it. My ex husband cheated on me after four years of marriage and decided to tell me when I got back from my fathers funeral. I used to be very angry, but I've mellowed out with time. Now I just find that...
    b1ttersw33t b1ttersw33t 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 23

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    After weeks of talking

    and not getting to the main issue as to why our marriage failed. Yesterday, we finally spoke really spoke. It was painful hearing that your not loved and haven't been for a long time. That all that time you had spent making things right was a waste. That your only really thought...
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    Quotes That Help Me To Move On...

    It's not what you go through that defines you; you can't always help that. It's what you do AFTER you've gone through it that really tests who you are. Kwame Floyd
    erfra7 erfra7 46-50, M Sep 7, 2013

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    I am newly separated

    and have 2 children. My daughter is 14 and is doing fine with the separation. My son is 12 and is not fine. Right now I just left my place to take a walk after my son does his best to be so fresh and talk back. We have a 9 month old puppy who can be nippy he gets do angry when...
    Sassyblues Sassyblues 41-45, F 6 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    never share secrete with anyone especially

    spouse/life partner. because today's friend when be come enemy, never know.
    manwarkhn manwarkhn 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 1

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    After an 8 year relationship

    and marriage with an alcoholic I have finally decided to move on. The freedom I feel is indescribable! There will definitely be an adjustment period for our two children...but I can be happy knowing that this is ultimately the best decision for all of us. Feeling free and...
    naughtyk82 naughtyk82 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 13

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    Feeling so heart broken,

    and devastated, lonely, my soulmate left me after 33years, thought I had a very strong marriage, but my husband felt something has died inside, he says he will always love me,and do anything for me, which he has 6 weeks down the line, but he is also like this with our children...
    tjb50 tjb50 46-50 5 Responses Feb 26

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    I am newly separated with a daughter

    who is just turning a year old. The separation was not my choice, but I am trying hard to accept the space we need. I never thought I'd be in this position in my life, especially after all the obstacles we've overcome, including infertility. I miss my best friend, husband, and...
    dirami39 dirami39 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 8, 2014

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    Too hard! How do you deal with this on top of

    every day life? Where and when do you cry? Have been married for 14 years together for 20 since we were teenagers. It's been bad off and on for a while. He left after I told him too because he didn't come home one night. I honestly don't want toi separate but he does. 3...
    nebali nebali 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 25

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    You said that you loved me

    You said I was beautiful You lied
    Bassdrumlife12 Bassdrumlife12 13-15, F Mar 10

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    OK so this is my story.

    I lived with a guy for 15 years and then he just left. When he told me he was going, the first thing (actually the only thing really) I asked was, why? But he wouldn't give me an answer. We'd just bought our (supposedly) 'forever house' 18 months before. He was turning my life...
    QuietGirl78 QuietGirl78 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 14

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    wow, that was quick. we dated

    for 4 years, got engaged, got married, we got in a fight because she didnt want to have kids, we got divorced 5 days after we got married. what a *****. im still under 25, what do you expect me to do?
    JacobConnor911 JacobConnor911 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 13

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    So today was the first day in accepting the

    change in my life. It's not something I have control over but I have the control from here on out! I don't have much social life and that's gonna take some time to fix. But the friends I do have are there for me. New stage in life.
    seanv14 seanv14 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 7, 2014

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    I am so beside myself.

    Right now. It took me an hour to get dressed this morning. I was crying so hard. I don't know how I am going to get through another day without the only person that I have ever loved. I just do not understand what I did so horrible to deserve to hurt so damn bad. I've been...
    a11wayson a11wayson 41-45, F 5 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    Anyone separated that was a stay at home parent

    before the separation? I think my marriage is heading towards a separation but I haven't worked in about 5 years. Did anyone have difficulty going through the transition of finding childcare and getting back into the workfield?
    2infinityandbeyond 2infinityandbeyond 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 21

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    I am newly separated

    and still living in the same house as my soon to be ex husband. Not fun. Hopefully I will be able to leave soon. Things are civil but awkward.
    Brie4084 Brie4084 46-50, F 4 Responses Jan 13

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    Right Decision

    For 6 years of my 8 year marriage I have been uneasy about who my husband really was. Knowing down deep that something just wasn't right. FINALLY all the questions I had to ask him were answered and the truth was finally known. A recent affair and inappropriate behaviors...
    broken131 broken131 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 30, 2012

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    A few days ago. Or a week.

    I have no idea... the sun rises and sets and I barely notice. We're still living in the same house and though it was my partner's decision, he hasn't changed any of his behaviour toward me, making it difficult to process. Although I felt something wasn't right a few days...
    akkordeon akkordeon 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 23

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    After 6 months when I originally moved out of

    my house, I went back to get all the rest of the 15 years of accumulated stuff from my life with him. It sucked, the house we built together...the memories, all of it. I hate going back there but it was all part of the process. It's not easy, and I knew it wouldn't be. But it's...
    WalkInMyShoesB4UJudge WalkInMyShoesB4UJudge 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 8

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    This is a new feeling

    for me. All of a sudden its my children and myself.... I never thought of myself as a single parent and I'm not complaining I love them! Its just so different day to day than with a spouse! Its an adjustment!
    metalmanme metalmanme 36-40, M 3 Responses Mar 15

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    Update after last night assault.

    Police have been fab. Still not sure if there's a case but giving a detailed statement ( took 6hrs) made me see my life through others eyes. Also they were able to challenge a lot if what he's told me for year. I've realised several things today; I am a victim of domestic...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 9, 2014

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    He was charged! I am

    so shocked. If you've read my posts you'll no my police officer husband assaulted me in February and my daughter saw. That was the last straw and I asked him to leave. Since I've done everything to beg him to give us another chance to the point where him going put on a date with...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 27, 2014

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    Why Did I Get Married On My Birthday ! Lol

    I am hittin 37 today and today would have also been my 13 year anniversary. This is my first anniversary without her and its been tough. Honestly I am looking forward to the day ending and trying to get back to normal. I just pray for strength, courage, and hope. Best of luck to...
    Sodapopcur Sodapopcur 36-40, M 3 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    this is the 6th time in five years

    that my husband out of the clear blue wants a divorce. There's a lot of details of course that goes into my story but I'm very heartbroken and I have no one to turn to and if you want to know more about my story just ask. I'm here to meet people that are going through the same...
    Phoenix311 Phoenix311 56-60, F 2 Responses Mar 15

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    She Destroyed My Soul

    It's been about 45 hours since I found out. Exactly 4 days since the fuse was lit to the end of my life, as I know it. And now, I am newly, involuntarily, separated. Homeless, family-less, just less. The best years of my life are gone. I can't get those back to spend with...
    phatdog phatdog 36-40, M 3 Responses Dec 14, 2011

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    I just got out of a verbally abusive

    relationship. I'm so sad but can't even cry anymore. Why did I stay with him for so long
    collegegirllll collegegirllll 18-21, F Feb 19

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    I Am 34 Years Old And Single Again After Being Married For 8 Years...

    this sounds odd... I often feel lost because now I am on my own, as before I was used to do "couples stuff". I find myself alone and not sure sometimes, we never had kids and for that I am thankful... I have already a history posted in the affair section here in the E.P which...
    devilwife devilwife 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 26, 2012

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    Me and my wife have just separated she told me

    she loves me but not in love with me..We have been married for 21 years 3 boyz..I was verbal abusive when I drink alcohol I no longer drink.. She's telling me she thinking divorce but wants a couple of months to thinking about it. we had a great relationship just when I drink at...
    jameskdaz jameskdaz 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 19

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    Recently Seperated

    I have been with my husband since I was 18, together for 20years. He had an affair last year, but we worked through it, he promised never to hurt me like that again, so many promises made, recently found out he is still cheating with the same woman. He had stopped but started...
    Eeyore76 Eeyore76 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2013

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    If only I could stop dreaming about her,

    I'd get over her so much faster. No matter how strong I am all day or how clear headed I feel about it, my dreams come along and smash it to **** and I have to spend the first hour or so of consciousness trying to repair my brain... And heart.
    JimmyLogan JimmyLogan 31-35, M 1 Response Feb 15

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    Much Better Now...

    It's been a while since my last post. My wife (er ex?) and I have been ignoring the whole divorce scenario, we both know it is going to happen. As of now, being separated is the BEST thing she and I have agreed on. So nice to come home (to my apartment) stress-free, no worries...
    xjoseph xjoseph 31-35, M 8 Responses May 23, 2012

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    I want to post in this group to ask a

    potentially controversial question. And I don't intend to stir any anger but I'm human and just want to hear from someone. 6 years ago I met a guy and 5.5 yrs ago we developed feelings for each other. He is married. Fast forward to now, him and his wife do want to separate but...
    sethlw sethlw 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 25

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    Between the drinking

    and drug use on his part, the constant neglect and then finally the cheating, it was time I kicked him out of the house. It wasn't good for me or our son. I miss him a lot to be quite honest, but I know it was the right decision.
    HalesBells91 HalesBells91 22-25 2 Responses Dec 9, 2014

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    Finally settled into my new place!

    It is cozy and comfy and especially with my dog at my side....I am excited and have pangs of loneliness but I am excited for this new start!
    MFeisty MFeisty 41-45, F 8 Responses Mar 1

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    Flip flopping... After our long talk over the

    weekend. He's texting me from work and trying to get me to sleep in the bed with him again. I feel like I need to hurt him over and over to get him to see, what we both already agreed on. This is so, very hard. Roller coaster of a marriage for years and now a roller coaster of...
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 10, 2014

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    Alone But Happy

    Alone but happy is the only way I can describe how I feel. Even though there are many emotions that run through my mind. I know i've done the right thing. I've been living in an unhealthy marriage that just wore me down and took away who I am and I let it happen for so long. I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Nov 27, 2012

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