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I Am Newly Separated

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,887 People

    So, today marks one week of official separation

    although realistically, it has been over for years. We have been "going through the motions" of being married for a long time. It is difficult to finally label your marriage of 30 years as officially over. Now, I wonder 1) where do I go from here? 2) what does this really...
    Lindy0515 Lindy0515 46-50, F 4 Responses May 14

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    I Didn't Want Him to Leave, Just to Love Me

    I know this is going to come off as "needy" or emotionally troubled, and maybe I am, but when my husband of 10 years left 3 weeks ago after a minor disagreement (not even a fight!) and didn't call of take my calls for two days, I was devastated. I think that's what he...
    sagegirl sagegirl 36-40, F 31 Responses Sep 12, 2008

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    I want to post in this group to ask a

    potentially controversial question. And I don't intend to stir any anger but I'm human and just want to hear from someone. 6 years ago I met a guy and 5.5 yrs ago we developed feelings for each other. He is married. Fast forward to now, him and his wife do want to separate but...
    sethlw sethlw 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 25

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    I've been separated for almost 4 months now.

    I never saw it coming. It was the shock of a lifetime, a cruel surprise. I thought everything was fine. Just two days before he left, I remember thinking I'd never been happier. Blindsided. Devastated. Crushed. Betrayed. Humiliated. Broken. The range of emotions I've...
    Ticia Ticia 26-30, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Newly Separated

    Im newly separated from my wife of 4 years and not by choice. I got into a car accident and she kept the insurance money. She left me to struggle to pay for school on my own without even a way to my job. All because I told her 6 months ago that i was sick of our life and wanted...
    LoneAlpha LoneAlpha 26-30, M 33 Responses Jul 1, 2012

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    You said that you loved me

    You said I was beautiful You lied
    Bassdrumlife12 Bassdrumlife12 13-15, F Mar 10

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    I Am 34 Years Old And Single Again After Being Married For 8 Years...

    this sounds odd... I often feel lost because now I am on my own, as before I was used to do "couples stuff". I find myself alone and not sure sometimes, we never had kids and for that I am thankful... I have already a history posted in the affair section here in the E.P which...
    devilwife devilwife 31-35, F 10 Responses Nov 26, 2012

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    Finally settled into my new place!

    It is cozy and comfy and especially with my dog at my side....I am excited and have pangs of loneliness but I am excited for this new start!
    MFeisty MFeisty 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 1

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    this is the 6th time in five years

    that my husband out of the clear blue wants a divorce. There's a lot of details of course that goes into my story but I'm very heartbroken and I have no one to turn to and if you want to know more about my story just ask. I'm here to meet people that are going through the same...
    Phoenix311 Phoenix311 56-60, F 3 Responses Mar 15

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    My husband and I have recently separated.

    He just decided abruptly over day (last month). That is was over, he's tired of pretending. That he wasted 15 years and wanted me to leave. It crushed me... I could have faught. I didn't because I agreed. He is begging for me to come back. I won't, and to keep myself busy. I...
    theophaneia theophaneia 31-35, F 2 Responses May 8

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    Much Better Now...

    It's been a while since my last post. My wife (er ex?) and I have been ignoring the whole divorce scenario, we both know it is going to happen. As of now, being separated is the BEST thing she and I have agreed on. So nice to come home (to my apartment) stress-free, no worries...
    xjoseph xjoseph 31-35, M 8 Responses May 23, 2012

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    Between the drinking

    and drug use on his part, the constant neglect and then finally the cheating, it was time I kicked him out of the house. It wasn't good for me or our son. I miss him a lot to be quite honest, but I know it was the right decision.
    HalesBells91 HalesBells91 22-25 2 Responses Dec 9, 2014

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    'He Cheated, So Why Do I Feel Guilty?' Update

    Nearly six months now since separating after 24 years. After the initial feeling of devastation, I felt a sense of calm and happiness and wondered if that was just a phase, like some sort of mental coping mechanism. Well, I still feel genuinely happier! I think after so long...
    anewlifealone anewlifealone 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 26, 2013

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    I am newly separated with a daughter

    who is just turning a year old. The separation was not my choice, but I am trying hard to accept the space we need. I never thought I'd be in this position in my life, especially after all the obstacles we've overcome, including infertility. I miss my best friend, husband, and...
    dirami39 dirami39 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 8, 2014

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    I am going through hell.

    My ex was taken away to the police for domestic abuse.I had 7 years of it.He was so controlling and manipulative. After time in jail and on bail he was found not guilty.I cannot blame police for not doing it the job properly, but thats what happend in my case. My ex partner had...
    sunshone sunshone 26-30, F 4 Responses May 18, 2014

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    Life. It happens. And

    while we're fussing over the meaningless stuff, the real stuff is passing us by!!!
    justanotherbloke justanotherbloke 36-40, M 1 Response Nov 16, 2014

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    I am so beside myself.

    Right now. It took me an hour to get dressed this morning. I was crying so hard. I don't know how I am going to get through another day without the only person that I have ever loved. I just do not understand what I did so horrible to deserve to hurt so damn bad. I've been...
    a11wayson a11wayson 41-45, F 5 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    I have decided to separate from my wife of 5

    years. We have had our share of problems and things just have become too much for me. We have been going to marriage counseling to help work through our issues and were making some headway. She wanted to get a job that would be less hours and stress so there would be more time...
    luckyone1979 luckyone1979 36-40, M 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Not Sure...

    I spoke to a clergy member who said if perhaps I journaled that it would be helpful to me... being a guy to start off with talking about feelings is difficult... this is somewhat an extension to the original idea - perhaps something I say will have meaning for another person...
    Liminalghost Liminalghost 36-40, M 11 Responses May 23, 2010

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    I just got out of a verbally abusive

    relationship. I'm so sad but can't even cry anymore. Why did I stay with him for so long
    collegegirllll collegegirllll 18-21, F Feb 19

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    I am newly separated

    and have 2 children. My daughter is 14 and is doing fine with the separation. My son is 12 and is not fine. Right now I just left my place to take a walk after my son does his best to be so fresh and talk back. We have a 9 month old puppy who can be nippy he gets do angry when...
    Sassyblues Sassyblues 41-45, F 6 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    Recently Seperated

    I have been with my husband since I was 18, together for 20years. He had an affair last year, but we worked through it, he promised never to hurt me like that again, so many promises made, recently found out he is still cheating with the same woman. He had stopped but started...
    Eeyore76 Eeyore76 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 2, 2013

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    I Left My Wife For A Woman I Love

    What's so wrong with that? Honestly, I understand the meaning of marraige but when it comes down to it, do you go through life as a zombie, staying with someone because you're comfortable, or do you make a move that makes both you and potentially your wife a lot happier on the...
    youareasoulyouhaveabody youareasoulyouhaveabody 26-30, M 8 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    It seemed to happen so suddenly.

    But I guess I was in denial for the past couple of years. I was hoping that things would work themselves out and we would be back to being a happy couple and family. I want to think that there's still a chance to make it work. But she seems to have moved on.
    scrubbe scrubbe 31-35, M 1 Response Apr 23

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    Why Did I Get Married On My Birthday ! Lol

    I am hittin 37 today and today would have also been my 13 year anniversary. This is my first anniversary without her and its been tough. Honestly I am looking forward to the day ending and trying to get back to normal. I just pray for strength, courage, and hope. Best of luck to...
    Sodapopcur Sodapopcur 36-40, M 3 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    wow, that was quick. we dated

    for 4 years, got engaged, got married, we got in a fight because she didnt want to have kids, we got divorced 5 days after we got married. what a *****. im still under 25, what do you expect me to do?
    JacobConnor911 JacobConnor911 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 13

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    This is a new feeling

    for me. All of a sudden its my children and myself.... I never thought of myself as a single parent and I'm not complaining I love them! Its just so different day to day than with a spouse! Its an adjustment!
    metalmanme metalmanme 36-40, M 3 Responses Mar 15

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    After weeks of talking

    and not getting to the main issue as to why our marriage failed. Yesterday, we finally spoke really spoke. It was painful hearing that your not loved and haven't been for a long time. That all that time you had spent making things right was a waste. That your only really thought...
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    After an 8 year relationship

    and marriage with an alcoholic I have finally decided to move on. The freedom I feel is indescribable! There will definitely be an adjustment period for our two children...but I can be happy knowing that this is ultimately the best decision for all of us. Feeling free and...
    naughtyk82 naughtyk82 31-35, F 11 Responses Apr 13

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    Feeling so heart broken,

    and devastated, lonely, my soulmate left me after 33years, thought I had a very strong marriage, but my husband felt something has died inside, he says he will always love me,and do anything for me, which he has 6 weeks down the line, but he is also like this with our children...
    tjb50 tjb50 46-50 5 Responses Feb 26

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    Quotes That Help Me To Move On...

    It's not what you go through that defines you; you can't always help that. It's what you do AFTER you've gone through it that really tests who you are. Kwame Floyd
    erfra7 erfra7 46-50, M Sep 7, 2013

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    My wife is Bi-polar. Probably enough said

    for anyone who has been in such a relationship. We are married 25 years. The manic episodes first surfaced after my son was KIA in Iraq 8 years ago. I have always been faithful to her. Despite the fact that she has not I have tried tried to forgive and renew our marriage. It...
    Alanri2 Alanri2 56-60, M 3 Responses Apr 26

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    Me and my wife have just separated she told me

    she loves me but not in love with me..We have been married for 21 years 3 boyz..I was verbal abusive when I drink alcohol I no longer drink.. She's telling me she thinking divorce but wants a couple of months to thinking about it. we had a great relationship just when I drink at...
    jameskdaz jameskdaz 41-45, M 1 Response Feb 19

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    Ok so here it is, 2 weeks

    before Christmas my wife tells me she wants a divorce. Wow I am 25, 3 beautiful children and I'm getting divorced. I don't even know what to say or think. I tried to talk sense into her but she doesn't want to hear a word of it. Since then I have seen her maybe 2 or 3 times when...
    Kwreka89 Kwreka89 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    I'm single and I'm happy .

    .... I do not want my ex back... at all!!!
    Serenita Serenita 41-45, F 6 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    Ok I'm new to this and am looking

    for some advice. I met the love of my life a little over a year ago. Her name is Joanna and she is 33 years old from Greece. She moved to America with her Step Father, Mother and Step Brother when 16. Upon arrival the step father wasn't able to provide for the family being...
    cruzinfre5h cruzinfre5h 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 23

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    After two years of being separated,

    I finally got my divorce papers this week and I don't know how I feel about it. My ex husband cheated on me after four years of marriage and decided to tell me when I got back from my fathers funeral. I used to be very angry, but I've mellowed out with time. Now I just find that...
    b1ttersw33t b1ttersw33t 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 23

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    My bf dumped me. We hv been on

    and off for 16 years, it's always I love him more. He always dumped me for new gals and even transmitted chlamydia to me. But I still love him, I still think he's a great person. I know that this time will be a real over between us. I'm devastated and hv insomnia. I can say that...
    tkctiankong tkctiankong 22-25, F 3 Responses May 8

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    So today was the first day in accepting the

    change in my life. It's not something I have control over but I have the control from here on out! I don't have much social life and that's gonna take some time to fix. But the friends I do have are there for me. New stage in life.
    seanv14 seanv14 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 7, 2014

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    A few days ago. Or a week.

    I have no idea... the sun rises and sets and I barely notice. We're still living in the same house and though it was my partner's decision, he hasn't changed any of his behaviour toward me, making it difficult to process. Although I felt something wasn't right a few days...
    akkordeon akkordeon 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 23

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    She Destroyed My Soul

    It's been about 45 hours since I found out. Exactly 4 days since the fuse was lit to the end of my life, as I know it. And now, I am newly, involuntarily, separated. Homeless, family-less, just less. The best years of my life are gone. I can't get those back to spend with...
    phatdog phatdog 36-40, M 3 Responses Dec 14, 2011

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    About to get a divorce.

    Hopefully not the first gay couple to get a divorce in Oklahoma.
    SweetStud SweetStud 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 22

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    I threw my husband out on his ears with his

    clothes some six months ago. He had been sleeping with a former girlfriend of mine and her daughter for over three years. Now both are knocked up by him again for the third time. He has been criminally charged with adultery, rape, and other crimes. Between both of the...
    tallmomwithkids tallmomwithkids 31-35, F 8 Responses Feb 11

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    April 8th, 2015 - It's been 5 weeks

    and 2 days since we officially separated. He's still sleeping on the couch. How much time am I supposed to give him?? I just want it to be over already. I'm tired of looking at his sad, mopey face. I made every excuse for him. Oh but he's a good man, he's a nice person, he's...
    Germanovna Germanovna 31-35, F May 14

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    How Can I Be Me Again?

    My husband of 11 years told me yesterday that "it wasn't there for him anymore".  He had been lying to me for months and had now found someone new that made him happy.  We were married at 20 which is young I know but I always felt it was the real thing. ...
    crushed2009 crushed2009 31-35 7 Responses May 24, 2009

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    Flip flopping... After our long talk over the

    weekend. He's texting me from work and trying to get me to sleep in the bed with him again. I feel like I need to hurt him over and over to get him to see, what we both already agreed on. This is so, very hard. Roller coaster of a marriage for years and now a roller coaster of...
    WastedShadedDaylight WastedShadedDaylight 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 10, 2014

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