I Am Newly Separated Forum & Chat Board | Not coping too well

Hi, my husband of 19 years moved out 2 weeks ago. We have 3 children and I am currently not working as our youngest is only 3, I am trying to find a job at the moment. I am not coping very well with the separation which I can't understand, my husband was very abusive, emotionally, verbally and physically. The day before he left he hit me, this was the worst incident in our marriage because he actually bruised me severely. I don't have any family around me and very few friends.

I feel totally alone and nervous all of the time my heart actually hurts. I can't understand why I feel this way, I didn't want to be with him and he has left can anyone help?

 

It has been 19 days since my husband left me. I am finding that the best way to cope with things is to take each day at a time. Just knowing that you only have to get through that day helps so much.

I have also found journalling helpful. You can get all your thoughts and feelings out.

Being in an abusive relationship myself, I have been thinking of the value that my husband brought to our relationship. I knew in my mind that it was right that he left but I didn't feel it in my heart. I think that just takes time.

 

I can only speak from my own experience. However, what you are feeling is natural. You were part of something and now you don't know where you fit. Fill your life and fill your mind. Avoid pitfalls. Ask for help. It is there if you really want it. Finally, don't give up on you.

 

I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. NOONE deserves physical abuse. Have you sought counseling?

 

I have been looking for a support group for 2 weeks.  Everywhere I call does not have anything.  I feel like I am losing my mind.  The only other thing I can think of doing is going to mental health, which I really do not want to do.  Have any ideas?  I really need to vent to a real person before I explode.  Please help.

 

I found a wonderful book that really helped me. It's called When He Leaves: Help and Hope for Hurting Wives by Kari West.

 

Please try to find a good local church in your area, get to know the first lady and the pastor, let them know you need couseling> God will see you through this.

 

I feel your pain, please do not go to the mental heath hospital, go to a local church in your area. Look for a church of God, meet the first lady and let her know you need prayer and counseling. Most good bible based churches will help with free counseling. Hang in there, God loves you and you are in my prayers.  I am 57 and have experienced much marrital pain. God is who I found.

 

Let go of him and let God take care of you.  You know that saying.."Let go and Let God" - an AA saying I believe.   I know there are outreach programs to help single women in abusive relationships.   look online, google in your area, and please give them a call. You need support right now.  If you have family out of town,can you move in with them for a time? You need to stay strong for your children, please stay strong, you do not deserve to be treated like a punching bag. No way.  God has bigger and better plans for you; which is why I say "Let go and Let God".  If you do this, change will begin to happen for you, in your pain.  It will begin to lift.  Trust me, I did it two days ago. I'm feeling so much lighter today.  God be with you.  Stay strong, you are worth more. Hugs

 

Not coping too well.....I understand this topic COMPLETELY.... although after reading the posts in here, I am the male dealing with a lot of the same ideas and thoughts shared in here...... There is soo much that I can relate to..... Letting go is such a hard concept ro grasp, i find myself allowing to do this for such short moments and then trying to take it back into my own hands.......I think it has A LOT to do with feeling out of control or wanting to be in control.... Either way, I feel as if we need to just let go and allow God, or your own higher power to do His will...... I do pray everyday to firmly grasp this concept and I will include all of you who may need some assistance too.... I do
Understand those who
Need amd want to be able to talk to someone on a personal level also...... I feel as if I hav worn out those who have been available.. I find it EXTRMELY hard to find someone who understands..... I wish everyone the best...... And I appreciate any and all words of encouragement....., this site was developed for a reason,I hope that anything that I have inserted may help just one person get through the day/afternoon/ or evening..... May God Bless you...

 

go to a support group that will help you is one call DivorceCare,in USA and Canada.it's helping me.or try counselling
some cities have some for free

 

go to a support group that will help you is one call DivorceCare,in USA and Canada.it's helping me.or try counselling
some cities have some for free